Life Before the Bucket

An Announcement and a Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Fri, 11 May 2012 14:10:00 +0000

Beginning today, May 11th, both my wife and I will be unplugging from the world for a month.

This is a part of our challenge with 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

I know, I know - how ever will we survive?

We're still checking e-mail, so if you need to get a hold of me, that's one way. Or there's thing thing called a phone, and I think they still actually make phone calls. So if you know us personally, you can get a hold of us the old-fashioned way.

Meanwhile, this blog will be silent for a month. Trust me, it hurts me more than it hurts you.

But, as incentive to stick around, I'll be holding the Longest Giveaway Ever.

image credit: Avolore - sxc.hu

It's pretty simple. I'll be using Rafflecopter for this one, so check out the widget below this post to enter! Here are the prizes:

1 - $25 Amazon Gift Card

1 - Free-For-All Guest Post (by you!) on Life Before the Bucket (Anything goes!)

1 - Free Guest Post from Me About Anything You Please

1 - Month of Free Advertising

The contest ends at 12:01 AM on June 11th. I will be announcing the winners that morning, Monday, June 11th (one month from now!).

However, there's a catch: I won't go looking for you - you'll have to get in contact with me to claim your prize! This is a way to ensure that some people don't just go looking for a free prize without any interaction or contribution. Plus, it's a nice way to make sure at least 4 people don't abandon ship in the next month!

So there you have it! Get to entering in this contest! And remember, you can tweet about it everyday for the next month to REALLY help your chances!

And, by the way, thanks SO much to those of you who would be willing to stick around anyway. You guys mean the world to me. Can't wait to be back!

P.S. - Rumor has it that I might start writing a book during this month! You'll have to come back in a month to see if the rumor is true or not!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Our Secret to Life and Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Wed, 09 May 2012 13:52:00 +0000

So you want to know the secret to living a great life? Or even to having a great marriage?

First, let's make sure you're willing to take our advice.

After all, we've only been alive for 22 years. Like most people, we weren't really cognizant of the first 4-5 years, though, so we've really only been alive 17. And then, if you average in about 8 hours of sleep a night, we've only been awake for about 11 years.

So basically, you're listening to the advice of an 11 year old.

Still with me? Then I suppose you're truly interested. Keep reading!

Now if you're looking for advice for a happy, healthy marriage, take this into consideration: I've known my wife for about 7 years now. So that's about half of our cognizant lifetime (mentioned above). We've been dating/engaged/marriage for almost 6 of those years. We spent the other year making each other's lives miserable.

Beyond that, we've only been married for about 3 years. And again, we're only 22.

So you're looking for advice from someone who's basically an infant in marriage.

Now that I've discredited myself in every way, are you still with me? Well, then, I suppose you're still genuinely interested in what I have to say.

Our secret isn't a trick or gimmick. It's nothing new or fancy. It's not even particularly difficult. However, it is an everyday event. It does take time, investment, and genuine care. It requires an interest in your partner that is beyond almost any other interest you have. It actually requires you to love them in action, and not just in word.

If you're looking for a quick-fix to your problems, this isn't it. Problems require time and genuine caring and love.

If you're looking for a way to skirt through your life and marriage without any problems, this definitely isn't it. And if that is the case, you have an entirely different set of problems that need addressing by someone more qualified than myself.

If you're looking for a guaranteed way to avoid conflict, this most certainly isn't it. If you want a conflict-free life or marriage, you should be a dog. Dogs don't seem to have much conflict in their lives. Us humans live with other humans and that, by its very nature, causes conflict.

So what is it, you ask? What's our secret to a happy life and a healthy marriage?

Our secret is this:

We keep learning new things every day.

What's that? You're disappointed? No trumpets sounding from heaven?

Well, I hate to break it to you, but life isn't about quick-fixes or easy solutions. There's nothing neat and clean about our "secret." It's not like you can learn one new fact a day and be guaranteed a happy life.

And as for marriage, well, have you ever really thought of this in that regard? I'm sure we've all heard at some point or another to learn something new every day. But how does this apply to marriage?

You see, I've heard it time and time again: people divorcing because the other spouse "changed." They claim that their wife/husband isn't the person they originally married.

Truth be told, none of us are who we were even yesterday. Even physically - our bodies are completely renewed every seven years. So we shouldn't be surprised that our spouses have changed. That's the nature of being a living, breathing human being. That change is inevitable. How we handle it determines how successful our lives and our marriages are.

In regards to life, there are a million different ways you can keep learning. The Internet is an amazing place filled with some amazing (and not-so amazing) knowledge and wisdom. I stumbled on a site recently that can help point you in the right direction. But on the off chance that you're lazy and don't look there, you can simply check out TED Talks. There, you'll find hours and hours and hours of knowledge - all for free!

In regards to marriage, there are also several methods to make sure you keep learning about your spouse. I'll suggest one here that we've recently started doing.

In order to keep learning about your spouse as they change, grow, shift, and mold into an entirely different person, you have to keep learning about them. And in order to learn about them, you need to ask questions and actually have conversations. We've found a unique way to do this:

Step 1 - Find a notebook. Any old notebook will do, as long as it's empty.

Step 2 - Write a question or two for your spouse. Nothing is out of bounds - you're married, for crying out loud!

Step 3 - Answer those questions about yourself. Be honest, open, and thoughtful. Otherwise, you're defeating the purpose of this entire exercise.

Step 4 (this is my favorite) - Hide that sucker. Of course, you should hide it somewhere they can find it, but be creative. I recently hid our notebook in the kitchen cabinet, because my wife loves cooking. But don't cheat and tell them where it is - that's half the fun of this!

Again, this is one of several ideas to keep learning about your partner. But if you intentionally do this, you'll find that you're changing along with your spouse, and you won't be so confused when, 10 years down the road, you're both different people. It's bound to happen. It's up to you whether or not it's going to be a surprise.

Now, like I said earlier, this isn't a quick fix for life or for your marriage. I can't guarantee that this will drastically alter either. However, I think a lot can be said for small changes like this, especially in the fast-paced world we live in today.

If you end up doing this notebook exercise, I'd like to hear from you. How did it go? Where did you hide your notebook? What kind of questions did you ask?

And for the rest of you who aren't married: keep learning about the world you live in. We live in an incredible time where knowledge is readily available and easily accessible. We'd be crazy not to take advantage of it.

We might just find, as we learn, that we'll grow into the people we truly want to become, and the people we become are people the world (and our spouse) truly needs.

... ... ...

Questions: What's the best advice you've ever been given about life or marriage? How do you keep learning? What are some other ways to continue learning about your spouse?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Maybe Tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Tue, 08 May 2012 13:38:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from a great blogger and mother named Melanie Dawson. Melanie is 32 years old. She plays several roles: during the day she is a special education teacher, and by night she is Super Mom! She has two Masters Degrees in education, and she absolutely loves what she does. Her role as Super Mom gets a little tricky sometimes. She has a 12 year old son, Sebastian, her daughter Tyler is 10, and little Mason is 5. They keep her going all day long, and she loves it!

You can follow Melanie on her blog, Penguins on My Shirt.

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)

... ... ...

Typical - that was my life.

I was married to my high school sweetheart, Mike, and together we were raising our three beautiful children. We both worked full time jobs, and took turns transporting the kids to their endless sporting activities. An hour each way for gymnastics twice a week, soccer, piano lessons, more gymnastics - every moment was scheduled. It felt like we were never home.

Family meals were often found at the bottom of a fast food bag, and homework was done in the car. We rarely took time for ourselves. Sure we took family vacations, and we worked hard to create memories with the kids, but we were young. We often joked that our time would come when the kids left the nest, then we would focus on us. Could we have been more wrong?

April 14, 2011 my life changed, and so did my priorities. I came home from work to find that Mike had passed away from a heart attack. He was 34. My husband, companion and best friend was suddenly gone. We had been together since I was 17, and it would have been our 14th wedding anniversary that year. How could it be possible that I was a widow at the age of 31? Gone were the tomorrows we had planned for.

Living life to the fullest no longer means that I try to cram my day full of more than it can hold. Instead, I give my kids more magic kisses than their little faces can hold.

It no longer means putting off until tomorrow the memories I want to create today.

It no longer means putting myself after everyone else in my life.

I now understand that I cannot be the mother I want to be if I don’t take time for me. There are fewer moments of “Wait a minute,” or “I can’t right now.” I try to stop what I’m doing to acknowledge every piece of artwork and every out of tune song. We take things slow, day by day, and sometimes moment by moment.

We still get caught up in the little things that don’t really matter when compared to the grand scheme of things; however, those moments are becoming fewer and fewer. My life is at its fullest when my kids wrap their arms around me and say…

“Mom, I love you. Real or not real?”

“Mom, I love you to infinity and beyond.”

“Mom, here are your magic kisses! They won’t ever come off!”

What could be better than that?

... ... ...

Questions: What events in your life have drastically altered your priorities? What are you putting off until "tomorrow" that should be done today?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

What I've Learned in College (So Far)

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Mon, 07 May 2012 13:40:00 +0000

A special thanks to my sister-in-law for
being our emergency photographer!

I don't know if you heard, but...

Our school let us graduate!

We're not sure if they'll regret this decision or not...

In light of this and the fact that we just moved back to our hometown but can't live in our home quite yet, posts this week might be a bit haphazard. You've been warned!

Before anything, though, I do need to say this: thanks SO much to everyone who voted for me in the blog contest last week! I took first place, which means that I plan on rewarding you guys soon!

Also, a HUGE thanks goes out to all of our family who came to our graduation and then to our friends who helped us move. We'd be helpless without you guys.

But now, on to the topic at hand. You see, when people graduate, it's kind of a big deal - especially when you pay thousands and thousands (and thousands) of dollars to do it. People want to know if the whole shebang is worthwhile.

This post is my very premature answer to that inquiry (especially since I have two more years of school left starting in the fall!).

What I've Learned in College (So Far):

It's expensive. Too expensive. You'll just have to get over that now.

If you don't know what you want to do with your college education, do it somewhere cheaper. The magic career fairy doesn't grant answers more quickly to those who pay more.

More than likely, you'll remember the good times you had with your friends before you remember your schooling. So either become a hermit, or enjoy that time while you can.

Student loans are a pain in the foot. Whatever you do, don't take them out to live on unless you're in dire circumstances (and no, needing a 52" HDTV is not considered a "dire" circumstance in any world).

Become who you want to be now, not later. I didn't need to graduate college to start writing, or even to start serving the people I want to serve the rest of my life.

Someone at our school is always fond of tweeting these words around the time of finals each semester: you are NOT ever your grades. Even if you get good ones.

There will always be someone who seems smarter, tougher, faster, prettier, friendlier, and just about every other adjective you can think of. But nobody is better equipped to be you than you.

Build relationships (dare I say... friendships?) outside of the classroom with your teachers. It's in real life, not a classroom setting, that you'll learn the most from them.

Some words from Shane Claiborne seem fitting here: "Find where your passion meets the world's needs." This place needs something from you, and college is a great time to figure out what that is. Work to truly be who you are, and not who you're "supposed" to become, and you'll quickly discover where that intersection of your passion and the world's need resides.

I promised myself I'd stop at ten points, so there you have it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy our last-ever summer break.

... ... ...

Questions: What were some of the biggest lessons you learned while in school? If you could do anything differently about your time in high school or college, what would it be?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Win of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Fri, 04 May 2012 12:56:00 +0000

This is undoubtedly one of the most exciting Fridays of my life.

Exciting for a number of reasons, to be sure.

First of all, our families are coming into town today. It's always a blast to have them over and I'm looking forward to seeing all of them!

Secondly, the weather's pretty nice right now, so I'm enjoying it while I can. Before I know it, I'll be roasting in the sun.

And most importantly... it's our last day of undergraduate classes!

In other words, there's a lot of cause for celebration on this side of the world. And that's perfect, because today we're celebrating our Win of the Week!

Keeping with the last couple of weeks, we'll share both a "real life" Win of the Week and a digital/blogging Win of the Week. This is your chance to shamelessly share something you've written or something you loved reading/watching/listening to!

So, obviously, I have to say that my real life Win of the Week is surviving my undergraduate program. We graduate tomorrow, and it couldn't come soon enough for me. I can't wait to move, to start a new life, and to start in my Master's program!

Meanwhile, in the digital world, I have a lot to celebrate.

First of all, I love that new people are discovering Life Before the Bucket and interacting with the micro-community we have here. And if you're new here and want to follow along, check out the Updates page to find a way to follow along!

My ultimate blogging Win of the Week, though, has to be being accepted as a finalist in Foundation Care Pharmacy's blogging contest! I've been blown away by how many of you have voted for my entry, and I can't thank you enough for your generosity in that. I'll try to find a way to reward you if I come in 1st Place!
So if you haven't already voted, ~~check out the contest and vote for Entry #1~~!

(Edit: The contest is now closed. Thanks to all of those who voted for my entry!)

So those, my friends, are my Wins of the Week.

What about you? What was your real-life Win of the Week?

What was your digital/blogging Win of the Week?

Feel free to shamelessly share anything you've written/read/watched/listened to this week!

A Huge Favor

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Wed, 02 May 2012 13:13:00 +0000

I don't do this very often, but...

I need your help!

Here's the deal: I received an e-mail yesterday telling me that I'm a finalist in a blog contest. Oddly enough, the contest is through a pharmacy that I receive one of my medications through. Guess there are a couple of perks to being chronically ill!

Unfortunately, I can't vote for myself 24/7 to rig this competition. This is where you come in!

I'm only one vote in the lead right now - the competition has been stiff throughout. Without you, I might lose!

A few simple steps to guide you through this process:

Step #1 - Visit Foundation Care's blog post about the contest. (In other words, click that link!)

Step #2 - Comment on the post saying that you vote for Entry #1 - it's mine!

Step #3 - Give yourself a pat on the back for a good deed done well!

Just as a teaser: my entry includes a quote from Yoda. It's that awesome.

So what are you waiting for?! Get over there and vote!

Thanks in advance for being awesome!

Living to the Fullest: Can a Kid with Chronic Illness Do it?

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Tue, 01 May 2012 13:31:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from Emily Couch. I love hearing Emily's perspective from life, because I can truly relate, as you'll see.

Emily is a senior theatre major at the University of Alabama. She plans on pursuing a Master's degree in theatre education to use in the urban ministry setting. She has served as a missionary in Rock Hill, SC; Acuña, Mexico; Memphis, TN; Gulf Shores, AL; and Astoria, NY. She is an ENFP personality type who enjoys making every day a memorable one.

You can follow her on Twitter and track her adventures on her personal blog.

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)

... ... ...

When I graduated from high school I had all these big plans for my life, plans detailing where I was going, what I would be doing, who I would be doing it with…I thought my plans were solid. I had worked for years in school to build a solid GPA, had interned at our local hospital to gain valuable medical experience, and had secured scholarships to several universities throughout the country. I had a strong network of family and friends pushing me to be the best I could be, constantly encouraging me that I could do whatever I set my mind to do.

I intended on graduating from college in four years, getting into a top-notch medical school, becoming a trauma surgeon, being a wife and mom, living in the South…I intended on making my dreams a reality. I lived with every intention of securing the American Dream in all of its glory.

I didn’t intend on a wake-up call from God. I didn’t intend to be shaken to my very core and made to question all the things I had been told I could do. I didn’t intend on giving up.

When I was 19 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. [My body attacks my thyroid gland, the main metabolic center and controller of hormones.] The doctors said that it could be regulated with medication, but I was told that it would be a life filled with regular doctor visits, hormone checks, and daily medication. I wasn’t phased. It wasn’t like this was a death sentence – it was a disease, something that could be treated and dealt with. As a future doctor I had no worries. I would take my medicine and be fine.

At least that was the plan.

But things don’t always go according to plan.

My body began shutting down, and it quickly became apparent to my team of doctors that there was more going on than had originally been perceived. I was sent to the Mayo Clinic [in my mind, the place they sent people with no hope] to try and figure out what was going on…to try and figure out how to save my life. I was there for two weeks, and over the course of those two weeks I went through a battery of tests, checking for cancers and diseases with names that tangled my tongue.

We finally got an answer – I am an extremely sick kid. The thing about autoimmunity is that it tends to compound, meaning if you have one disorder there is a good chance you’ll get another. As for me, here’s my list [yes, list] of disorders that I deal with:

1. Hashimoto’s thyroiditis

2. Type II diabetes

3. Celiac disease

4. Vitamin D deficiency

5. Major depressive disorder and anxiety

6. SLE [that’s lupus]

7. PFO [that’s a hole in my heart, but it’s been fixed]

8. Stroke victim [caused by the hole in my heart]

9. Cluster migraines

It’s a little intimidating, yes? But I didn’t write this to list off my problems – I wrote this to pose a question: Can a person living with chronic illness truly live life to the fullest?

The answer, put simply, is yes.

I wrote earlier that I didn’t intend on giving up. When I wrote that, you maybe thought I meant I laid down and wallowed in self-pity. Nope. I did get angry with God, but he was teaching me…and I learned. I became angry with God because I thought he was punishing me for something. I gave my life to Christ when I was 18, right after graduating from high school, and I had been living for Him, for His glory.

When I got sick, I found it completely unfair that a loving God could see fit to let me go through something like that. But here’s the thing: he never promised it would be easy. In fact, Jesus promised that we would face adversity, face persecution, face suffering – but he promised that we wouldn’t ever have to go through what we could not bear [1 Corinthians 10:13].

I was told that the stress of going the pre-med route would kill me. I was told that I needed to pick a different direction for my life. I had no Plan B for my life – it was med school or nothing, so hearing those words was incredibly intimidating. I was a 21-year-old college junior who now had literally no direction…but I did have faith.

I took the advice of family, friends, and doctors, and I started doing what I love – theatre. I switched my major and immediately God began opening doors and paving roads. I had no idea what the future held, but I knew one thing for certain – God was guiding my steps, and his plan for my life was better than my own.

Last summer I had the incredible opportunity to serve as a missionary to Gulf Shores, AL. While there, God answered my major question: “What am I supposed to do with my life?” We were holding an afternoon day camp in an inner-city location, and I felt a strong attraction to the middle and high school aged kids. These were kids who were extremely talented and passionate about the things they loved, but who were constantly being told by their families and by society that they would never amount to anything. The arts was a way that God allowed me to connect with these kids – they taught me to rap and step, I shared the Gospel with them through the things they loved.

If you had told me when I graduated from high school that I would end up being a theatre major, attending seminary, moving to New York, and being an inner-city arts minister, I would have laughed at you. But plans change.

I have come to see that all these things I have gone through, all the medical scares and hospital stays and plan changes, they have all happened to show how big God is. When I graduated from high school I was so focused on my plans…I never considered what His plans were. My illness served in a way to make slow down, no, to stop and to ask, “Is this really what life is about?” You have to figure out what living truly is.

I can promise you that if you are living for you, for yourself, and your goals and your plans, your life will feel incomplete. You will never truly experience life to the fullest. It is only when you completely let go and let God come in and take over that you will discover what living to the fullest means. This life, it’s not about us. It’s about Christ, about living in a manner that brings glory to Him, and about proclaiming His love story to the nations. The victory of the cross drives us, and the power of the Holy Spirit sustains us. Embracing that victory and power, dying to yourself and living in Christ – that is what living life to the fullest is all about.

I don’t do anything of my own power. I do all things through Christ, for He is the one who strengthens me. I am nothing without him, my life has no meaning apart from him. My diseases do not define me – my relationship with Christ does. My life is a prime example of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, which states that His power is made perfect through weakness. The whole world can see that I am sick; the whole world can also see that God is at work, and he is using a Southern girl with a chronic illness to go forth and share His love story.

Do not let illness or limitation define you. Let the love of Christ define you, and see that living life to the fullest means realizing it is not at all about you but that it is all about him.

... ... ...

Questions: What struggles often hold you back from living to the fullest? When have your plans drastically changed? How is the direction of your life different than it was a few years ago?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

An Unnecessary Introduction

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 13:32:00 +0000

Have I ever introduced you to my father?

We don't look much alike. I'm skinny and have a large beard. He's stocky, but he also had a beard from time to time.

We're also two very different personalities. I'm laid-back, introverted, and reflective. I enjoy my time alone. My dad, on the other hand, was the definition of an extrovert. No matter where he went, he had friends or made friends. I never saw the man alone. Even on a simple trip to the store, my dad could waste half an hour chatting up a cashier. I, on the other hand, get out of grocery stores as quickly as possible. Where I see an errand, he saw an opportunity.

My dad played football in high school. He always told me that he remembered playing against Barry Sanders. He never claimed to have actually tackled him, though. Meanwhile, I bowled, sang, and volunteered my time left and right throughout high school.

Personally, my faith has been a lot like a pendulum throughout my life. Back and forth, to and fro. My dad's faith? It would be a lot more comparable to sky-diving - all or nothing.

And this is how he lived much of his life. He either jumped out of the plane, or he was flying it himself. His passion for life was one of his redeeming qualities, though it was often overshadowed by his flaws.

Even though he was often misguided, my dad was the poster child for living life "to the fullest." He was almost always smiling, and his laugh was infectious - one of those sounds you had to smile at when you heard it. He always had new jokes up his sleeve and was always listening for more. And here we see our lives intersect.

I try to be a poster child for getting the most out of life. I run a blog about living life to the fullest, after all. And since my wife taught me to laugh many years ago, I often laugh too loud, too often. I'm similar to my dad in that.

And you know, we also both suffer from chronic illness. My dad's was mental, and mine is physical. But that never stopped him from living, and it sure won't stop me either.

We also bonded over our love for American football and all things to do with the Kansas City Chiefs. I remember one Thanksgiving when we just sat together in my grandparent's living room watching a game together that neither of us particularly cared about. I'm almost positive that we both fell asleep. But still, he thanked me for sitting with him that day. I also remember the pre-season game he took me to when I was younger, and then the playoff game he somehow got tickets for when I was a teenager. Unforgettable memories, to say the least.

I'd also like to think that I got part of my "smarts" from my dad. He was good with his hands - he could figure out just about anything with relative ease and quickness. And even though he never taught me any of his tricks, I'm finding that my hands are already familiar with many of them. I was never taught to be handyman, but maybe he knew he didn't need to teach me - I already was as his son.

And while he didn't finish high school, he was still very smart. He was one of those types of people who knew things that nobody else does (or even cares to know, really). And as I grow older, I find myself reflecting that - always telling people things they didn't want to or need to know. Which is why I blog, I suppose.

My dad was a thrill-seeker. And even though my body limits me, I am too. One quick look at my Bucket List will tell you that. I can't wait to get a chance to sky-dive or bungee jump. And though I never saw him do either of those things, I'm sure my dad would've been the first one to jump with me.

And at my dad's funeral, one thing was clear - his love for his family was paramount. And until that day, two weeks before I left for college, I didn't understand that love. It wasn't until it was gone and I had a chance to feel it missing that I realized what my dad's number one passion was: us - his kids, his family, his pride and joy.

And even though my dad was buried that day, I couldn't allow death to take him away. I had to keep a piece of him with me. So I snuck a lump of his love and mixed it with a portion of his passion. I resolved to keep my father alive as long as it was within my ability to do so. But, even if you visit my hometown today, you can see his face on his tombstone, with his body buried beneath.

Did I fail?

Over the last 4 years, as I've learned to live life without a father. I've struggled, fallen, and utterly failed at times. But I've done so with passion. I've done so with gusto. I've done so with love. And so I never failed at all. Never even a little bit.

You see, even though I've never introduced you to my father, you've met him. He lives in me through my unbridled love for my family. Through my passion for life and for getting the most out of every single second I have. Through my ridiculous obsession over a football team who, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter.

Sure, my dad and I don't seem much alike at first glance. But when you break me open and peer into my spirit, you see him alive and kicking, laughing, yelling, and having an all-around good time. He was never gone - not even for a second.

You may have never met my father, who I lost entirely too soon, but you've met me. And even though I'd never admit it to him (nor he to me), we're one in the same.

I've never introduced you to my father, but even if I did, you'd probably say, "Oh, sure, we've met before!" And he'd laugh, with his all-too-cheesy grin, and agree.

... ... ...

Questions: What people have made a lasting impact on your life? Who lives in you that may not be physically alive today? How can you make the most of the moments you have with your loved ones this week?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Win of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 13:39:00 +0000

It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday...

And around here, while we're getting "down" on Friday, we're also celebrating! We've finally made it through another week. Time to breathe a sigh of relief and take a moment to reflect and remember the ups and downs of this past week.

It's time for us to share our Win of the Week!

Again, I want to divide this between virtual and real-life, because that distinction is important. So, first off, my virtual Win of the Week would have to be finally getting set up with Amazon Associates!

I'm not sure why I hadn't done it prior to now, but I already made a few pennies, so I'm pretty excited about that. So if you decide you're going to buy something through Amazon, consider clicking through Life Before the Bucket first! It's an easy way to help support the blog while paying money you would already be paying anyway!

My real life Win of the Week could be a number of things. Getting stuck in an elevator made for a great story. It's also the end of the next to last week of our undergraduate program, which I'm stoked about. I'm excited to begin our life in a new place soon! Or it could be getting to go on a great date with my wife earlier this week!

My real Win of the Week, though, is something much simpler. I spent a lot of time this week reading on my Kindle, which I love and don't usually have enough time for. It's an easy way for me to keep track of all of my books and a great medium to receive free and dirt cheap books from. I think my Kindle and I will be spending a lot more time together in the near future!

Also, a bonus win has to be seeing this video. I promise you'll love it - it's hilarious!

What was your Win of the Week in real life? What was your virtual/blogging Win of the Week? Feel free to shamelessly share your own content!

Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase anything through the link, I will receive monetary compensation for your purchase.

Enjoying the Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 13:53:00 +0000

Story time!

Last night we had a meeting with our graduating class to discuss our school and what it is doing well and how it could improve. As with any good meeting involving college students, we were bribed with food. More specifically, pizza. I gladly accepted the bribe and made my way to the meeting.

Now, in order to understand this story, you have to know that I have a chronic lung disease. I was having a particularly rough day. Walking slowly felt like sprinting to my lungs, so I took every chance I could to take a break, including riding the elevators at our school (which I do every day).

Well, earlier that day, I had taken a ride up our newer elevator to the library. It decided to start going up before the doors were closed, which was a little freaky, but it quickly realized its mistake and stopped. I was grateful, because I wasn't in the mood to be stuck on an elevator.

Cue the meeting for pizza a couple of hours later. I still was feeling miserable, but I was really hungry, so the pizza seemed like a fair trade off for my lungs to think they ran a marathon to get there. Per usual, I took the elevator (a different one, mind you). This elevator always smells... unique. Some kind of delightful concoction of dead possum, bad perfume, and body odor. Spending more than a minute on it most likely shortens your lifespan by years (my unofficial guess; experiments are pending).

As usual, I parted ways with my wife as she climbed the stairs and I waited for the slowest elevator on earth. It eventually arrived, I stepped in, hit the button to go up, and was off to the...

And then, all of a sudden, everything stopped.

The elevator was silent. No movement. Thankfully, the light was still on inside of it, but it was definitely stuck.

Now, granted, odds would favor the fact that if anyone at our school was to get stuck in the elevator, it would be me. I'm a glutton for punishment, I suppose. But seriously?

Not cool, sketchy elevator. Not cool.

I promptly called my wife to address two concerns:

Concern One. She had to get me some pizza. I had no idea what the food situation was like, and college students can be like ravenous wolves around free pizza, so I had to ensure that my time in the elevator wouldn't be for naught. I realize my priorities may appear to have been a little confused here, but I assure you that it made sense at the time. In fact, it still makes sense.

Concern Two. "Oh, yeah. Hey, while you're stealing a box of pizza for me, could you let someone know that I'm stuck in the elevator. No biggie."

All I hear after that point is a huge ruckus in the background as my wonderful wife is trying to find someone who might actually be able to do something about my unfortunate plight. She eventually tells me that she's told someone, and then we say goodbye. And no, we didn't say "I love you," just in case the elevator was the death of me.

We're terrible married people.

At this point, my lungs were reminding me why I took the elevator in the first place. So I quickly sat down, because I had no clue how long I would be in that wretched box. And as I sat, I realized how weird it is to actually sit on an elevator. It's like the epitome of laziness. But there I was, just chillin', really craving some pizza while sitting on the ground of the elevator.

Like I told my wife, no biggie.

Some of my funnier classmates decided to pay the elevator a visit. One of our friends, in particular, decided to "coach" me through escaping. She failed miserably, but it made for a good laugh (though I realized that laughing may be detrimental at that point - there's no telling how bad inhaling the air from the elevator is for your health).

And so, that's why you're reading a post that I'm writing from an elevator shaft!

Just kidding.

I got out. But being stuck in there overnight seemed like a better story. Forgive me.

Moral of the story? Well, I'm sure there's one hidden in there about riding elevators and the importance of climbing stairs, but that's beside the point. I think, more than anything, what I took away from this adventure was this:

The destinations we seek are often not the point of it all. It's the journey itself that often teaches us the most.

It's during the transition that we become who we are. And really, when aren't we in transition? Right now, we're about to move. We're also about to graduate. And we're about to find a new church home. And we're about to make new friends. And ultimately, we're about to start a new life.

And while it sounds like an awful place to be - really, who enjoys the road trip more than the destination? - we are making the most of our moments "in between." And even as I prepare to sing in a choir program about heaven, I think this applies in the same way and ties into our mission/theme/goal here at Life Before the Bucket: "Living life to the fullest - every single day."

I most likely will remember nothing about the meeting we had last night. I might remember that it involved pizza, but that's about it. What I will remember is the trip there.

It's easy to skim over the transitions in our lives, hoping to get to the next big event or the next meeting or even just the next day. But it's often not the destinations that make the best memories - it's the trip there that builds character and allows us opportunities to grow and become the people we want to be.

Today, choose to be present, regardless of whether or not you've arrived where you want to be. Enjoy the journey, even if it takes longer than you'd like. And make the most out of the unexpected. You'll never know what great memories you could be creating if you never give life a chance to make them.

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Questions: What transitions are you in the middle of right now? How do you handle the "in between" times? What are some of your favorite road trip memories?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

image credits - moiseg, arinas74 - sxc.hu

Doing Something Harder

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:02:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from my friend, Natalie, who echoes my heart 100% in almost every area of life. Natalie is a Christ-follower, a newlywed, an orphan advocate, an almost-official social worker, and a lover of all things cute and artsy. She live in St. Louis City with her curly-haired husband where she blogs and tweets about little things and big stuff.

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)
... ... ...

For me, living life to the fullest has meant different things at different times. But I don't think I've done it well until lately. And even now, I seem to face decisions in increasing frequency when I feel myself want to choose the less "full" choice.

I'm currently in the last month of my graduate program. In May, I will hold in my hands a Master's in Social Work. You can do a whole lot in social work. While most people think of middle aged white women coming to the door of poor families to snatch away their kids, I've learned social work also involves running youth programs, providing activities for the elderly, and advocating for or against policies.

As I search for a job, I feel myself desiring a 9a to 5p job with a cushy salary, frequent rewards, and little stress. Those social work jobs are out there. And because I have a background in journalism, those jobs are always on my mind, too. Working in front of a computer at a magazine? Sure! But I know the clear voice of a God who has been calling me to more for the past three years. I desire to work with families who have lost all respect from society. I desire to advocate for vulnerable, hurt children. I want to work in foster care.

I'm glad to be underpaid and overworked in the name of advocating for the best interests of a child. I'm glad to be called at all hours to address crises that arise when emotionally hurting kids are expected to act "normal." After all, we are called to "speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves" [Proverbs 31:8]. God has given me the faith and the resources to not only survive, but excel, at doing something harder. At speaking up. He has taken my idol of comfort and security and pushed it a bit further from my reach.

While social work is what I know I am called to do right now, I also know there will soon be a time when I am called to be a mom. I feel this most wonderful, scary, uncomfortable desire to adopt kids from hard places. Kids who have experienced great loss and whom very little may be known about. And this is okay with me.

I will not boast in my plans, but instead keep an ear out for God's. And even when I think I know His plans for my husband and me, I will continually submit them to Him. I will have constant conversations with Him. I will whisper to Him when I feel the uncomfortableness creeping in.

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'” [James 4:13-15]

What is life if I don't feel uncomfortable sometimes? What is life if I don't feel stress and worry once in a while? What is life if I don't say, "if the Lord wills"?

To me, this is living life to the fullest.

... ... ...

Questions: What hard things do you feel called to do? What scares you most about those hard things? What have you done lately that was uncomfortable, but worthwhile?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

Less is More

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:22:00 +0000

Even though I'm a bit belated with updating you, our journey through 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess has continued. A quick summary to catch you up on our mutiny thus far:

Month 1: We pray seven times a day and take the Sabbath seriously. This actually causes us to bald and don robes, essentially making us monks. We eventually give up the monastic life because we hear they don't have Internet.

Month 2: We only eat seven foods for a month. My foods: rice, black beans, fish, peanut butter, spinach, pears, and coffee. My wife's foods: rice, black beans, spinach, apples, bananas, oatmeal, and almonds. By the end of this month, we crave anything and everything that is and isn't edible. We will never do that again (insert foot in mouth).

This brings us to Month 3, which we recently completed. Compared to Month 2, Month 3 was a walk in the park. We chose to don only seven pieces of clothing. This caused us to look like one of two things: bums or college students. Turns out we looked just about the same as usual.

Now I know what you're thinking: seven pieces of clothing for a month straight?! Crazy talk. Personally, I thought it sounded a little weird, too, but as long as I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted, I was okay with doing just about anything.

So we went about our month, wearing only seven clothes, which, thanks to the summer that briefly visited us in March, was relatively painless. I was only caught in the rain without a jacket once. And I was forced to shower every 24 hours because I couldn't wear a hat to school (which sounds ridiculous, but it was a pain!).

You know what the weirdest part of the entire month was? Nobody noticed or cared that I had barely changed clothes for four weeks straight. Not a single person. Not even me, frankly.

And in case you missed that, allow me to reiterate: nobody cared. It turns out that we're all so focused on ourselves that we could care less about whether or not someone wears the same clothes repeatedly over and over (and over) again. Now, granted, we're college students, and our "fashion lives" are mostly non-existent. But I suspect this would've been the case wherever I went.

This only fueled my fire for the fourth month of our experimental mutiny: I was ready to ditch every piece of clothing I had except those seven. Thankfully, my wife stopped me from completely abandoning my dresser and closet full of clothes (one of the many reasons I married her).

But, seriously, it just amazed me how much attention, time, and money we give to our wardrobe selection. We think, "Oh, I have to look just perfect, otherwise people will make fun of me." Nope, not true at all. Not even a little. The real truth that all of those department stores won't tell you is this: we're all so inwardly focused and self-conscious that we don't pay nearly as much attention to way others appear as we think we do. And that's a good thing.

Meanwhile, as I have a pair of shoes for every outfit, people all over the world (and even in our own country) are wearing shoes that don't fit and are causing them pain. Or, even worse, they're wearing no shoes at all, which causes them to cut and bruise themselves on a daily basis. And, in a worst case scenario, they don't have access to a tetanus vaccine and become direly sick as a result of stepping on rusty metal in one way or another.

Thinking about this was all the motivation I needed to purge my closet for Month 4. Even as a guy, I own entirely too many clothes. Maybe it was the fact that I grew up surrounded by women, but I've put way too much emphasis on how I look. And it turns out that the very one who I should by trying to please doesn't even take a second glance at how I appear! It turns out that he's more interested in how I clothe my heart. God wants us to adorn ourselves with himself, not with clothing that reflects even more of myself to me (since it seems nobody else cares what I look like).

And don't even get me started on the fact that by buying certain brands of clothing, we're supporting modern-day slavery. I don't know nearly enough about sweatshops, but I do know that they exist and that they support our extravagant way of living. You can turn a blind eye if you'd like, but that won't stop the reality that is our backwards way of life. It's almost like the Hunger Games, except that it's real. We're the Capitol, and they're our peons, slaving away so that we can pretend to fulfill our imagined needs (which are never fulfilled, like, ever). And that's terrifying, especially if we're seeking to live our lives to the fullest. We should never seek our pleasure at the expense of another's livelihood.

So if you take anything away from our mutiny against excess, take this: our way of life is wrong. We're a slave to the machine that tries to sell us on the fact that bigger is better, and more is even better than that. The real truth? Less is more. So do us all a favor: vote with the dollars you do have and choose to unplug yourself from the machine of extravagance and excess. Do it for just a month. Or a week. Or even a day.

You'll quickly realize how little having every piece of clothing you want matters. Or how little some others have, while all we want is more, more, more. And all the while, our Savior beckons us all, whether we're dressed well or not, calling us to lay aside everything we have - to literally drop it all, because following him requires everything we have and everything he wants, and not everything he has and everything we want.

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Questions: Are you self-conscious about the clothes you wear? Do you think others would notice if you started wearing the same clothes over and over again? What areas of excess do you need to trim in order to truly be able to follow Jesus?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. I will be compensated if you choose to purchase anything through these referral links.

Win of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 13:07:00 +0000

Do you ever wake up at the end of a week and think, "Man, this was a decent week!"? That's where I'm at today.

I wouldn't call this the most memorable week of 2012 so far, but it was definitely a positive experience.

And since today is Friday, it's time to ceeeelebraaate good times, come on!

(Okay, got that out of my system - sorry about that.)

But seriously. It's Friday. And around here, that means sharing our Win of the Week!

I think, as a result of watching this TED Talk (H/T to Richard Beck), I'm going to start distinguishing between my Win of the Week for my real life and my cyber life (namely, blogging). This may or may not last, so if you don't like it, don't worry. It'll probably change soon.

Also, something I'm considering: making the Win of the Week a link-up post, so others can flesh out their wins, link-up here, and we can party like it's 1999! What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts in the form of a comment!

So, my Win of the Week in real life has got to be... finding a French Press Coffee Maker at a garage sale that our church is putting on! This seems rather lame, but considering it is on my Bucket List, I think it's pretty fantastic. Plus, I made some awesome coffee with it this morning!

My virtual Win of the Week has got to be posting consistently this week. Since I had great content to use (thanks to Luke Reynolds and Aly Lewis!), you guys consistently visited the blog, making it one of the best weeks (statistically speaking) to date, even if none of the posts were record-breaking.

Also, my Win of the Week, Part B has got to be finding this image. I found it last night, and I still think it's funny this morning:

You can't possibly read that without at least smiling (H/T to Steve Kamb). Seriously, it's physically impossible.

That's all I've got, so that means it's your turn!

What was your Win of the Week in real life? What was your virtual/blogging Win of the Week? Feel free to shamelessly share your own content!

Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link. If you purchase anything through the link, I will receive monetary compensation for your purchase.

Free Books!

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 13:51:00 +0000

Time for a quick interview!

Can you read English? Oh, you're reading this? Great!

Do you enjoy reading? Again, another self-answering question. Alrighty, then. Moving right along.

Do you blog? Because everyone's doin' it these days!

If you answered, "Yes," to all three of these questions, then I have a proposition for you. I benefit zero from whether you act on this or not, but I just wanted to get this information out to you, in case you weren't aware.

You see, if you enjoy reading and have a blog of some sort, then you can receive free books! It's any book-lovers dream!

The process is simple, really. I'm currently enrolled in three book review programs. These companies allow you to pick a book to review, and in return, you promise to review the books you're given on your blog and on a website like Amazon. It's simple, really. If you've ever seen my Book Reviews page, you can see that even a monkey could do it - unfortunately, none of the companies offer bananas for blogging, so the monkeys haven't joined in... yet.

The first book review program that I'm a part of is called Blogging for Books, through Waterbrook Multnomah Publishers. I have done the majority (actually, all) of my book reviews so far through this program, and it's wonderful. Some notable authors that I've reviewed books from: David Platt, Bruce Wilkinson, and Leonard Sweet.

The second book review program that I'm a part of is Book Sneeze, through Thomas Nelson Publishers. I just recently received my first book from them, and their process is as simple as Waterbrook's. However, I will note that the first time I applied, I was rejected (I wasn't given a reason why), so you might have to apply more than once. It's a simple process, though. The main author that I may have a chance to review from this program is Ted Dekker, though there are many other great authors offered through this program.

The third book review program that I'm a part of is the Tyndale Blog Network, through Tyndale. So far, I'm still waiting for my first book from them, which I ordered long ago. Their system is a bit more confusing than the other two, but a free book is a free book, so if you want to check them out, I wouldn't stop you.

So there you have it - free books! And I benefit directly from you signing up for these programs in no way. Check them out and sign up for 'em if you're interested!

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Questions: Do you enjoy reading? What is one of your favorite books/authors? Do you review books for a company not mentioned here?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

image credit - mazwebs - sxc.hu

Planting Trees is Social Justice

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 13:48:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from Aly Lewis, from Plant With Purpose. Plant With Purpose is a non-profit organization based out of San Diego that finds creative, sustainable ways to eradicate poverty around the world. Today, Aly is sharing an incredible opportunity for you to partner with them. Be sure to follow Plant With Purpose's website, Facebook, and Twitter page!

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)
... ... ...

I once asked a friend what part of social justice interested him.

“The justice part,” he responded as his eyebrows narrowed and his chin dropped down a few centimeters, just enough to force him to look down his nose at me with all the condescension of the lawyer he would one day become. Obviously.

“Why, what part interests you?” he countered.

Had the question first been posed to me, I would have answered with illustrative stories about men and women’s lives being transformed, about reconciliation and restoration. I would have named people I knew—Godofredo, Teodora, Grey—whose testimonies made my work at a poverty-fighting organization worthwhile.

Prefaced with his dichotomous answer, I simply responded, “The social part.”

I’ve never really resonated with the smite-the-bad-guys justice mentality; for me, social justice has always been about making people’s lives better—whether through granting access to water, food, healthcare, or, yes, even criminal justice. Social justice creates systems that value human rights—not just the rights to liberty and happiness, but to basic necessities and dignity.

For me, engaging in social justice has always been about people.

Changing legal systems to protect the vulnerable—it’s about people.

Setting up aftercare facilities for victims of sex trafficking—it’s about people.

Building wells to bring clean water—it’s about people.

Sponsoring a child—it’s about people.

Supporting the homeless in your own community—it’s about people.

Planting trees—it’s about people.

Yes, you read correctly, even planting trees is about people. You see, I am involved in really cool social justice organization that plants trees.

Let me tell you how it works.

For many of the world’s poorest people, their very survival is contingent on the health of their environment. Of course the same applies to us, but in a much more removed way. It’s easy to forget that our bottled water actually comes from a stream or our prepackaged food may actually have been grown in this thing called soil.

Around the world, small farmers, desperate to feed their families, are forced to cut down large areas of forested land, clearing it for farming or to sell as fuel wood. The resulting erosion and loss of soil fertility leaves entire hillsides desolate and barren. This entrenches poor farmers in a vicious cycle of poverty and deforestation.

For these desperate farmers, their “carbon footprint”—or environmental impact— is literally drying up the streams that sustain them, eroding the hillsides they farm for sustenance, and threatening their very survival. Right now. Not in twenty years when more ice caps melt and sea levels rise, but now.

We all know trees play an important part in reducing global warming, absorbing harmful CO2 and releasing life-giving oxygen, but the full benefits of trees go much deeper. Trees’ root systems provide living barriers that prevent soil erosion, replenish the water table, and restore desolate, unproductive lands.

To the suburbanites and city-dwellers, these may sound like fringe benefits, but to a rural farmer, completely dependent on the land for survival, a tree can be the difference between life and death. The difference between hope and despair, thriving and barely squeaking by, a better future for their children and a life entrenched in a vicious cycle of extreme poverty and hunger.

When trees are planted alongside crops—a technique called agroforestry—farmers experience all the benefits of trees while also providing nutritious foods and a sustainable income for their families. For example, Plant With Purpose works with farmers to utilize agroforestry and sustainable farming techniques, empowering them to overcome poverty, provide for their families, live in dignity, and fulfill their greatest dream of all—leaving the world a better place for their children.

So for me, the excitement of planting trees results when I can see how caring for the environment actually improves the lives of the rural poor: it’s going green meets reducing poverty meets restoring environments meets transforming lives.

We equip farmers to plant trees—it’s about people.

We teach sustainable agriculture techniques—it’s about people.

We care for the earth—it’s about people.

It’s about people.

This month, Plant With Purpose is the featured cause on Live58.org, an alliance of nonprofits working together to end extreme poverty. As part of the 58: Global Impact Tour, Plant With Purpose is trying to raise $40,000 to plant 90,000 trees in the Dominican Republic that will restore the fruitfulness of the land and provide food for those in need. For the entire month of April, every contribution will be doubled because of a generous matching grant.

Head to the tour page to see how you can plant a tree and transform a life. Today.

And whether you’re into the justice part or the social part, I hope we all strive to live lives that value human rights, restore dignity, and improve the lives of those around us.

... ... ...

Questions: What are some of the ways you work to live a life that lends itself toward social justice? Had you ever considered the value of planting a tree as part of social justice? Which part of social justice appeals to you more?

Interested in writing a guest post for Life Before the Bucket? I'm always open to submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

image, video credits - Plant With Purpose

Letting Go of Grudges

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 14:17:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: This is a guest post from one of my new blogging friends named Luke. Luke is an aspiring author and rollercoaster designer. He is currently studying engineering at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology in Terre Haute, Indiana. He loves the cornfields of the Midwest much more than the beaches by his home in San Diego, and if you ever meet him, he’ll probably give you a hug.

You can follow his blog, Twitter, or check out his model roller-coasters on Youtube.

... ... ...

The other day I met with a guy I hadn’t seen for many years. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: So, uh, I really wanted to talk to you, cause, ummm...

Guy: Cause what? You can tell me.

Me: Well, cause I’ve kind of hated you for the past five years.

Guy: What?! Why?

Me: Cause five years ago, I was struggling with being gay, and then you spoke and said some stuff that sounded really homophobic. I was planning on finally asking for help that day, but after you spoke I changed my mind.

I braced myself for the reaction. Was this Christian guy going to get offended and lash out at me? Was he going to just get up and walk away?

The guy didn’t do any of the things I feared he would do. Instead, he looked me in the eyes and said, “I’m SO sorry.” And he said it in that real honest kind of way (as opposed to the not honest politician sort of way).

We had a good conversation after that. At first he thought I was living a gay lifestyle, so he told me that he loved me and cared for me no matter what I did. He said he wished that one day I would find comfort in God instead of in other men.

I quickly corrected him and told him that I fight my desires every day. I explained that once I worked up the courage to tell people, my struggles got a lot easier. Once I told people what I was going through, I stopped wondering, “What if they all hate me?”

Instead, I started thinking, “I can’t believe these people still love me.” And while this thought has never made my struggles go away, it has given me a stronger resolve to fight. Before I left, the guy prayed for me and gave me a hug.

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I also felt guilty that I had waited 5 years to have this conversation. “God, if I’ve really hurt someone,” I prayed,
“Please have them talk to me right away. Don’t let them hold it in for as long as I did.”

The whole conversation with the guy couldn’t have lasted more than an hour, but within that hour, 5 years of bitterness melted away. Not all such conversations have turned out as spectacularly for me, but if you feel bitter against someone, you should take any opportunity you can to make things better, even if it means opening up your heart to someone you don’t like.

There always seems to be that guy (or girl) in your life that fills you with anger and frustration every time you think about them. Whenever you happen to walk by them, you think, “Please don’t talk to me. Please don’t talk to me.” Most of the time, they don’t talk to you and you continue to feel that anger towards them in the depths of your heart.

Stop doing that. Go up to that person, but not in an angry way. Make yourself vulnerable and show them how you feel. Hope for an apology from them, but be ready to apologize for some crazy thing they confront you with. It might not always work out perfectly, but it should lift the weight of the bitterness you’ve been holding in. Life can be enjoyed so much more when you don’t have a gazillion past grudges holding you down.

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Questions: Have you ever struggled with holding grudges? What keeps you from talking with people who you dislike? How do you think you would feel if you talked with someone you held a grudge against?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!

image credit: windchime - sxc.hu

If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em. If You Can't Join 'Em...

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 13:54:00 +0000

Confession time.

I have a problem.

I'm not sure what's caused it or why it happens, but it most certainly does plague me.

And admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? Who even decided that?

What? Oh, my confession? Here it is:

I struggle to fit in.

I'm not sure what it is.

Maybe it's my ears. When I was in elementary school, kids told me I had ears like Dumbo. And considering they were the same size then as they are now, they were probably right.

Or maybe... it's my hairy, sasquatch-like legs. The fact I can wear shorts in winter because, hey, it's like I'm wearing pants anyway, weirds some people out. Especially since they've been like this since the 6th grade.

Or it could be my diseases. After all, not everyone can say they do the Pledge of Allegiance backwards, or they have a tube in their head, or they get to use oxygen when they sleep.

Or... is it possible? Could it be...

My beard? Maybe its awesomeness alienates others...

Nah. Couldn't be. Moving right along, then.

So I'm not really sure what it is about me, but since I was a kid, I've struggled to fit in. I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in, and I've never truly been comfortable in that position.

When you're young, you often hear the phrase, "If you can't beat them, join them!" Well, what people never understood is I never wanted to beat them. I never even tried. Instead, I usually just skipped to the joining part, because it seemed like the nice thing to do. I've always been considerate in that way (and endearing, no?).

But the problem is, nobody has ever let me in the group. It's like there's a secret handshake and it's impossible to perfect. Or there's a password at the doorway I just can't seem to crack. There's definitely something I'm missing.

This is about how I've felt through college.

This problem has plagued me from elementary school until today. Even in these past four years of college, I've done what I can to "fit in," only to quickly discover that the "in" thing to do these days is not fit in. Seriously, life is trying to stop me at all costs.

And I've even experienced this in blogging. Now, granted, it might just be because I'm a shoddy writer, but I'm told repeatedly by sources I trust (read: my wife) that I'm a gifted writer. And I enjoy writing quite a bit, so it's not like I'm a grump about it.

It's like, somehow, people from my "real" life have invaded my "virtual" life and whispered to everyone, "Don't let him in!" It's maddening, to tell you the truth.

But alas, life goes on. I still have to wake up, write, click the publish button, and hope someone decides to share in the mini-party going on here. Whether I'm "in" or not, I keep plugging away. And why? Well, let me tell you a little something (because I'm not one to keep secrets, like those kids from middle school):

It doesn't matter if you fit in. That should never be your goal.

And when I think others might think I'm crazy for what I'm writing, I look to the life of this one guy to see what it shows. You see, I think Jesus lived life exactly right, and I'd like to emulate him as best I can. So when I see that he, too, was excluded and rejected by peers, I'm comforted.

"But then what?" I think. "How did he cope with that? He was human after all," I wonder. And then the light bulb clicks.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And if you can't join 'em, join someone else.

Duh, Adrian. Duh, duh, duh.

Jesus was rejected and despised by men, so instead, he joined God. Well-played, Jesus. I see how that worked out for you.

This dawned on me last week, as I was fighting a nasty urge to unsubscribe from every blogger ever and abandon all hope in this blogging world. (Sometimes, I have a flair for the dramatic.)

As I was having my mini-meltdown, I read something someone recently said:

"Your blog looks like a great community,"

and then the aforementioned light bulb clicked.

Duh, Adrian. Duh, duh, duh.

If I can't "fit in" to the communities of others with my big ears, hairy legs, weird diseases, and awesome beard, then maybe I should stop trying and start valuing the community I'm already in.

And if push comes to shove, I'd have to admit, I do greatly value each and every one of you who reads, comments, e-mails, and shares with me on a regular basis. I know what we have here isn't much, and it isn't even necessarily an "official" community.

But it is what it is. And the larger it grows, the closer I feel to you all. I'm not one to exclude others, because I sincerely believe goodness exists inside us all, and such goodness cannot be ignored. So I want this community to keep growing, shifting, shaping, changing. It may be painful at times, but it's worthwhile.

So consider this an elaborate "Thank You" to you, my fair reader. I don't care if this is the first post you've ever read at Life Before the Bucket, or even if this is the last post you ever read here. I genuinely care about you, your life, and helping you to live it to the fullest.

I hope you see this community as one which is open and welcoming to you, whoever you are, from wherever you reside, no matter what shape you're in. Because, hey, you can't be much weirder than me!

If you just happen to be stopping by for the first time, but you'd like to keep sharing in what goes on around here, check out the Updates page, and find a way to follow that works for you. And if you're feeling particularly risky today, consider leaving a comment. I like to think of comments as investments. You leave one because you expect to get something in return, and I can promise you'll get exactly that around here.

Thanks again for reading, whoever you are, wherever you are. You are important. You are loved. And you do "fit in" somewhere (at the very least, you'll fit in here!), because you are worthy of being cared about.

... ... ...

Questions: Have you ever struggled to fit in somewhere? Do you have any oddities which keep you from fitting in? How important is fitting in to you? Do you enjoy the community at Life Before the Bucket?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

image credit - zumbari - sxc.hu

Win of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:56:00 +0000

Ugh.

It has been a nasty, downright sick week for me. I've been sick since Wednesday - I had some sort of reaction to a new medicine I'm taking. I'm still recovering and not feeling fully conscious two days later.

Even the worst sickness couldn't stop me from celebrating, though. After all, it's Friday! And around here (and most everywhere in the world that has a 5 day work week), Friday is a cause for celebration. No matter how rough (or how good) our week has been, we reflect. We think back. And then we share.

My friends, it's time for a nice, virtual pat on the back. This is your chance to share your Win of the Week!

Personally, it's difficult for me to pick out a particular win this week, especially with being sick and rather helpless for the last 48 hours. But that doesn't mean there wasn't a "good" part of this week!

My Win of the Week would have to be... Getting some new guest posts for our "Living to the Fullest" guest post series! I was worried for a second that the series was going to come to a screeching halt, but alas, you saved the day by stepping forward and contributing! Thanks SO much to those who continue to help make the series possible.

And if still want to help by contributing, but aren't sure what that entails, check our the original "Living to the Fullest" post for details. I would love to hear any ideas you have for a post! I'm just a quick e-mail away!

So, although it's been a pretty lame week, that's my Win of the Week!

What about you? What was your Win of the Week?

Who Are You?

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 13:54:00 +0000

I've got a question for you:

Do you like questions?

If you don't, I apologize for asking.

If you do, then this is the blog post for you!

Here's the dealio, yo: I really want to get to know you. I want an idea of who my faithful Bucketeers are and what they're like. Right now, I sort of feel like I've been shoved on a stage that is illuminated by blinding lights, and I don't recognize a single person in the crowd. It's kind of sad, really.

In order to get to know you a little better, I just have a few questions for you. And because I would never ask you to do something I wouldn't, I'll answer them for you as well.

Editor's note: This is the second time I've done this, but I promise the questions are different this time!

1) Imagine this: You won the Mega Millions jackpot of $500,000,000 dollars. What's your first move? Personally, I would pay off my mom's (and in-laws'!) houses; they've given us so much - it would be silly not to give back to them.

2) Looking back, what has been the highlight of 2012 for you so far? Personally, this is a toss-up. It's a tie between getting accepted into the Master's Program I applied for and finding a place to live after this school year for dirt cheap (about $150/month cheaper than any apartment we could find!).

3) Looking forward, what do you hope will be the highlight of the remainder of the year? This is a toughie. When I think about the future, I see a lot of possibility. I could start writing a book, I could get my lungs into better shape, we could start looking into starting the adoption process... The possibilities are endless.

4) If you had to choose one "guilty pleasure" song to listen to on repeat today, what would it be? Personally, I love the song Kyrie. There's a million different versions of it, so I guess I'd have to choose the version from The Sing-Off, season 2, as performed by On the Rocks.

5) Do you follow Life Before the Bucket? How long have you been following? What's your favorite part about it? Any improvements that could be made? This doesn't apply to me so much, but if I could make an improvement, it would definitely be the layout. Ever since my template broke a couple of weeks ago, The Bucket has been nothing but dreary, drab grey. So if you have a "template guy," give me his name!

6) This is your free-for-all question. Tell me anything else you want me to know about here. Well, the reason I'm doing this post today is because I'm all kinds of sick this morning. It is no good. So there's something you didn't know about me!

I'd LOVE to hear from you. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you look like, or whether you've showered this week. I want to get to know you! Whether this is your 100th time visiting or your 1st, whether you comment regularly or not - you are important to me.

So let me hear about who you are! Feel free to add/take away from any questions here - after all, I can't force you to answer each question. Take as little or as much time as you need. I'll be anticipating getting to know each of you a little better! I can't wait!

Don't let this blog post be in vain! I want to hear from you now, more than ever, so I can get to know you! Leave me a long, juicy comment telling me about yourself, or if you prefer, e-mail me! Either way, let me know about who you are!

This was *sort of* a repost from September, 2011.

Living to the Fullest: Can a Worn-Out Mum Do it?

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 13:23:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: Today's post comes from a great blogging friend of mine: Kerry Miller-Whalen. Kerry is a somewhat eccentric Australian mum and primary school teacher, living in the Southern Highlands of NSW. Her passions are her kids, writing, pets, organic gardening, and home renovations (you should see her plasterwork!).

You can follow Kerry on her blog and connect with her on Facebook - she always loves a good conversation!

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)

... ...

For most of us, I suspect the phrase “living life to the full” conjures up images of active, laughing young people, all healthy and attractive, of course, and possibly participating in some kind of water sport…

Alright, I think the image I have in my mind right now came straight from a Coca-Cola ad.

As appealing as those laughing, perfect images may be, they certainly don’t represent my life. In my case, I’m forty-something (pushing fifty-something). I don’t look good in a bikini. Although I like to be active, I’m not as healthy as I used to be. A few years back I suffered a serious emotional and physical burnout – the result of pushing myself too hard for too long, in too many areas. I am recovering, but still easily fatigued. There is a definite limit to how much “full living” I can pack into each day.

Living my life to the full does not usually involve water sports, extreme experiences, or great “highs.” Not that I never have fun; I am naturally extroverted, so sometimes I do crazy stuff with my kids and with my friends, and sometimes there are parties and fun times. But not all the time. In fact, not even usually. Too much of that stuff and I get wayyy too tired. Usually, things are pretty quiet and mundane.

And I think I’ve finally learned something. Going from one big experience to another, whether it be partying, climbing Everest (not that I’ve ever done such a thing), or the buzz of a challenging work project, can leave you feeling empty and lost between-times. You can run away from those empty spaces, by immersing yourself in more experiences – but that’s escaping; not living.

And it turns out the times when my life feels the “fullest” are not the “big experiences”, at all. It turns out they are the times I am truly present with the people I love. Enjoying a bit of leisure time with my extended family, and just... driving with my kids. Enjoying music, Sharing my hopes and dreams. Genuinely connecting with someone in the blogosphere who’s been asking the same questions as I have. Sharing a cuppa and maybe even a few tears with a friend who knows my heart, as we share each other’s sorrows.

So I find that my life feels “full” in relationships. But there is a BIG difficulty with this.

Connecting honestly with others is not always sweet, loving, pleasant, or fun. “Others,” if we let them close enough, will challenge our conceptions of who we are. They will provoke and unsettle us.

And what follows from this, and is even WORSE; is that it is impossible to connect genuinely with others UNLESS you are willing to honestly connect with yourself.

That is the big challenge.

In my case, being fully present in my OWN life is something which tends to be very difficult. Being fully present as me often means feeling tired, and sometimes depressed. Far too often it means being at my wits’ end with squabbling children. Presently, it involves living a kind of relationship half-life, separated but not yet divorced. My marriage over, but not over – as full closure has not been reached. And there are times when I really do need to “escape”; a movie, a night out with friends, a glass or two of something pleasantly alcoholic.

Escaping in these ways is not in itself a bad thing. We all need respite from real life from time to time. However, it is not possible to live forever in respite. The reality of who we are (perhaps it’s more accurate to say, who we really believe we are – but that’s another discussion) is not something we can escape from.

Living life to the full is not about filling it up with experiences, the way you fill a cup with water. In my case, the cup is cracked, anyway. Our “life” is, moment by moment, who we are in ourselves and in relationship with others. Living it fully involves pain and frailty, as well as joy. It involves honesty about the ugliness and the brokenness. It necessitates moving through grief.

Surprisingly, in honestly facing my own brokenness and that of others, I have discovered not only genuine connection, but an overwhelming sense of life and beauty and joy. Reality is messy. It is often painful. But it is also beautiful. That experience is teaching me not to fear really living my own life “to the full.”

... ... ...

Questions: Have you ever tried escaping as a way of living? What downsides are there to living this way? How can you be more fully present in your own life (and in the lives of those around you) today?

Remembering the Story

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 12:23:00 +0000

It's Monday. But let's not forget, even today, what we so exuberantly celebrated on Sunday.

As we drove to the church yesterday, colors were a bit more vibrant - the grass greener, the sky bluer. Everything seemed to be teeming with livelihood as we headed to celebrate the cornerstone of our faith: resurrection.

And how absurd it sounds - worshiping a man who was flogged, hung, and left for dead. They rid him of life, and ashamed, buried him, so that they might forget. So that they might hide the man who had duped them. "The Anointed One?" they thought silently to themselves as they trudged along the road, away from the scene: "What a joke. How did I ever fall for that one?"

Sullen and stricken, those left alive endured the pain of their souls crucified. Not for resurrection - that would be absurd. Instead, they waited, hopelessly. To be let down from their tree. To be released from their stripes. For the pain to subside. For the hurting to heal. For the brokenness to be mended. But by what? Their only hope was dead.

But then, something happened. There weren't any trumpets. No grandstanding angels to announce the incredulous. Simply a stone rolled away and some linens neatly folded. A man, who by all appearances seemed to be a gardener, waiting outside. And as they visited his grave, they faced their biggest fear: that this was the end. That their lives with him were over. And that they, most likely, would be next.

Little did they know, their day would only get worse. They arrive to grieve, to commemorate, to remember. And who among us has never celebrated a life passed, even through our tears? But to arrive to the grave of our beloved, only to find it vandalized and the body removed - life would be kicking us while we're down. And how unfair it is, really. As if God exists. The least he could do is preserve the body, since apparently he's unable to retain the soul.

At least the gardener is kind, though. His voice is soothing - familiar, even. Maybe he whispers a genuine, "I'm sorry," with a sly grin on his face. He comforts their hearts, as he's done all along. He stills their souls, if only for a second.

And then... oh, then. Then, for a glorious moment, they look up. They catch his eye. And his grin - that all too familiar grin. Of course, this is death toying with them. His body is stolen, his soul departed. "We're seeing what we want to see," they think as they look down again to the empty tomb.

Until suddenly, it dawns on them. And the color of the morning comes rushing in as they look up at the man, flabbergasted. Their minds race while their hearts stop. The gardener, who has been there all along, whispers, "Mary," and she knows. She runs to him, arms open wide, weeping with every last bit of breath within her. As she gasps for air through her sobs, words escape her.

And just like old times, in storms of yesteryear, he whispers, "Have peace and be still, my friends," as the tempest of death subsides and the rushing wind of love floods their souls.

... ... ...

Questions: How did you celebrate Easter this weekend? And if you believe in Jesus' resurrection, how do you plan on continuing to celebrate this week?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

image credit - osmar01, sxc.hu

Win of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 14:09:00 +0000

Howdy, friends!

It's time to give yourself a pat on the back (go ahead, do it now - I promise no one will see). You made it through another week!

This is an especially great Friday for us, because we're out of school for Good Friday (which is the oddest name ever, but don't get me started on that). So, because we remember Jesus' death today, we get a day off of school! Makes complete sense.

I plan on making the most of this Friday off, but in order to do that, I want to start it off right: by celebrating my Win of the Week!

When I'm trying to think of my win each week, something usually immediately pops into my head. Not so much this week. Unfortunately, this hasn't been a very memorable week. It hasn't been terribly bad, either. Just nothing to write home about.

But, because I want to celebrate with you guys, I do have a win. The highlight of my week, as cheesy as it may sound, was celebrating Easter a few days early at our school through our chapel service. Easter is the pinnacle of Christian holidays, even if it's celebrated rather confusingly by the rest of the world (a rabbit that lays eggs? that confuses us all).

I have some great memories associated with celebrating Easter, and I also have some rather mundane ones. But, when it comes down to it, the hope that I have in Easter is enough to help spark a flame within me for the rest of the year. It's beautiful to me, though I can't capture it in words like I want to.

So that, my friends, is my Win of the Week.

What about you? What was your Win of the Week?

Imagine With Me

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 14:13:00 +0000

Yesterday, in one of my classes, a person brought up what he imagined that the world would look like if God didn't exist. What he went on to describe was horrifying, but it made me think.

This is a tough thing to imagine one way or the other.

If you're convinced that God exists, you presume that this world exists because he does. We act the way we do because he created us so. His existence seems obvious for a number of reasons, even if others can't see it.

Meanwhile, if you're convinced that God doesn't exist, you presume that this world exists as a result of purely natural causes. We act the way we do because we're fashioned by nature to do so. God's existence is a question answered obviously by the world we live in, even if others can't see it.

So today, I'd like you to imagine with me. Let's imagine together, a world that doesn't exist (at least in our minds).

For those who believe in God, imagine a world without him. What does it look like? Do we exist? How do we operate? What meaning is there in living?

For those who do not believe in God, imagine a world with him. What does it look like? Do we exist? How do we operate? What meaning is there in living?

This is an exercise that requires a lot of thought, but it's worthwhile and I think can move the "conversation" about God along further than any of our proofs or reasonings ever could. Please try to think outside of what your belief system requires you to say in response to a question. Instead, reflect on what you honestly, truly believe would be true, not what you've been told would be true.

So let's hear it! What would this imagined world look like in your mind?

... ... ...

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

photo credit: elogo1 - sxc.hu

I Want to Be Like Caesar

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 14:06:00 +0000

When we read books, we often associate with a character and take on their feelings.

It's not very often, though, that I actually want to be someone in a book. Typically, the people I associate with are fighting dragons, spying on other nations, or saving the world. Frankly, I'll let them handle that business - I don't know the first thing about dragons.

There is one guy I want to be like, though.

I want to be like Caesar.

Caesar is powerful. Caesar is mighty. And regardless of what the people want, Caesar rules.

Plus, he gets to wear a toga, which looks mighty comfortable.

Err... wait. Wrong Caesar. Let me try again.

Caesar is one of those everyday staples in life. He's a miniature version of the guy from Rome, and instead of serving up punishment, he serves up heart attacks in the form of pizza.

And again with the toga. I've gotta get myself one of those.

Ugh. Not him. No, no, no.

Let's try this one more time.

Caesar is a guy that is often overlooked by many who hear about him. He plays an instrumental role in the process he's a part of, but he stands out from the rest of the pack.

Plus, he has some pretty intense hair, which I could go for.

The Caesar I want to be like is Caesar Flickerman, from The Hunger Games.

Cue the nerdfest.

In the books, there are two things about Caesar that Katniss, the main character, notes.

First of all, Caesar has been hosting the Hunger Games pre-game interviews for several decades. Reason seems to dictate that he would be tired of the gig after a while, especially as he grows older. However, Katniss notes that over the years, Caesar has remained unchanged, both physically and mentally.

Now, granted, part of the reason that Caesar hasn't changed is because of plastic surgery and the Capitol's affinity for eccentric appearances. This isn't something I necessarily care about - my beard should make that clear.

However, there's something more meaningful hidden beneath the surface with Caesar's demeanor through the years. He has witnessed person after person dying at the hands of the very city he serves, and yet, he still remains upbeat and jovial.

Again, part of this is due to the nature of the Capitol as consumer-driven, viewing the Hunger Games as mere entertainment, rather than actual tragedy (sound familiar?). However, I think the lesson to be learned from Caesar reflects what we heard from Angela in yesterday's post. Regardless of his circumstance, Caesar remains unchanged, enjoying every moment he is given.

The second reason I want to be like Caesar Flickerman is this: Caesar makes everyone around him seem better than they are.

Before Katniss goes to do her interview, Haymitch (her mentor) tries to coach her up, to make her more likable. It turns out that he can't figure out how to help her and remarks that she has "as much charm as a dead slug."

Naturally, after hearing this, you expect Katniss to bomb her interview with Caesar and to be booed off stage. Not so fast, though.

Instead of letting her crash and burn as a dead slug, Caesar allows Katniss to flourish as "the girl on fire." Though everything rides on her interview going well, Katniss manages to have the personality of a cardboard box. But, even when he isn't given much to work with, Caesar works to make others look like stars. And he does exactly that for Katniss and Peeta as they prepare to enter the Hunger Games.

There's something to be said for Caesar's way of life. Sure, he has his pitfalls - he is a member of the Capitol, after all. But all in all, Caesar is a guy who makes everyone around him shine a little brighter.

And then I wonder: am I anything like him? Do I refract the limelight from myself to shine it on others? Do I strive to push others to greatness, regardless of how I feel about them?

Honestly, I doubt that I do this often. I wish I could say that I always want people to succeed. The truth is, if I'm not excelling, I don't want others to either. And that's a part of me that I wish would die hard.

So today, I want to be more like Caesar Flickerman. I want to cast the spotlight on others, bringing out the good in them and disregarding what I "think" is bad. I want them to catch fire (in a good way, of course), and burn brightly for all to see, instead of wishing for them to fall flat on their faces. I want to help others, not hold them back. I want to rejoice with those who rejoice, instead of secretly spiting them for their success.

We should all work a little harder today to be more like Caesar.

... ... ...

Questions: Do you struggle to celebrate with others when they excel beyond you? Are there particular people in your life that you can't see the good in? What are some of their positive traits that you can celebrate today? How can you make others look a little better today?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, I'd appreciate you subscribing to Life Before the Bucket and sharing it with your friends. Thanks a million for reading!

photo credits - TudouMao (sxc.hu) & Dano (Flikr Creative Commons)

Living to the Fullest: Can the Brokenhearted do it?

noreply@blogger.com (Adrian Waller) — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 13:07:00 +0000

Note from Adrian: This is our next installment in the "Living to the Fullest" guest post series. Today's post is from Angela, a friend I've known for years and years. Angela is a Romanian born, Kansan bred Christian, now residing in north Alabama as a 21 year old nursing major. She enjoys playing piano, and whenever writers block and business subsides, she writes a blog or two. You can follow her on her blog, on Facebook, or on Twitter.

(Want to write a guest post for Life Before the Bucket?)

... ... ...

Recently, a relationship of mine ended, a family member passed away, and a few other closer relationships passed as well. The outward appearance of the brokenhearted can show all of the pain and depression, or it can show joy and happiness, even if you aren’t feeling it.

Feeling down in the dumps after a recent break up can really get to you. Really, any traumatic experience to the heart can leave you feeling lonely and depressed. With all of the above happening in such a short amount of time, it’s been pretty rough on my heart. When I don’t think my heart can be shattered anymore, along comes another hammer to break it into even tinier pieces. I know you know what I’m feeling if you’ve ever lost someone close to you or had a close friendship dissipate.

So, how can we live to the fullest when it feels like our entire world has shattered? It may sound redundant, but you pick up the pieces and you stand. You move forward. You press on.

I read a poem a few years back. I know I put it in one of my journals a while back. The poem talked about a little kid and their toy. It was broken. No matter how long the child sat there trying to fix the broken toy, the toy still did not fix itself. It wasn’t until the kid picked up the pieces of the toy and handed it to his father that the toy was fixed.

The same goes for our broken-heartedness. If we sit and mope around all day long, how will that help in living life to the fullest? It won’t. It would be doing the complete opposite. It would be living life to the least. Until you give your broken heartedness up to the Father and pick yourself up, the more down and out you will become.

Living to the fullest means getting out in the world. Interacting with people. Building new relationships. Growing closer to old friends. Taking a walk in the park. Or going running. Anything to take your mind off the stabbing pain in your heart.

Only time will heal the wounds of the heart (another cliché - oops). For instance, I’ve taken up my art again. Started drawing my comic strip again. Opened a book that needed to be opened again. Spent time with my Savior. Anything to make me feel whole again. So, if you’re brokenhearted and downtrodden, ask yourself, “How will I get out of this pit I’m in and start living life to the fullest?”

Adrian may not remember this, but a while back, he posted on a blog (editor's note: it's from my Xanga - now that's a throwback) a poem entitled “Enjoy Life”. I’m guessing he wrote it, because I can’t imagine anyone else writing it but him. I wrote I down and printed it out. It has stuck with me for years and years. And, I offer it as encouragement now.

Get up early and watch the sunrise.

Enjoy Life

Sing louder than you’re supposed to. Even when people are around.

Enjoy Life

Make one of your parents breakfast without expecting anything in return. (Because the look on their face is worth it)

Enjoy Life

Visit someone elderly who needs someone to talk to. It will make their day. (And yours)

Enjoy Life

Eat at a fancy restaurant just because.

Enjoy Life

Go out to eat at McDonald's and enjoy every minute of it.

Enjoy Life

Hang out with your friends. Even if it’s just doing nothing.

Enjoy Life

Listen to loud music, and have a blast looking like an idiot while you’re doing it.

Enjoy Life

Dance, even if you don’t think you can, because chances are, someone around you can’t either.

Enjoy Life

Live with no regrets, and make the best of every moment. Life throws us curveballs, and sometimes they hit us square in the face. But even when that does happen, we need to just get up and smile even if it does hurt a little because it’s worth it.

This is the only today you’ll ever get. Right here, and right now. Make the best of it. Live life to the fullest, because Christ died just so we might be able to. Jesus came so that we might have life and have it to the FULL!

Enjoy life.

... ... ...

Questions: Do you struggle to enjoy life when times get hard? What do you do that you enjoy that breaks your slump? How important is it for you to continue living to the fullest, even when times are difficult?

This guest post was part of a guest post series called "Living to the Fullest." Interested in joining in? I'm still looking for submissions! Just write up a post, or even just an idea, and e-mail it my way!