LifeCapades

Resurrection

2015-07-04T11:26:00.003-04:00

Resurrection - Neil McBride

Five years. That's how long it has been since my last blog post. Writer's block? Apathy? Life getting in the way? Who knows. Maybe just a combination of everything that makes us put off today what can be done tomorrow...or the next day...or whenever.

With this blog resurrection, I will be shifting a bit in my writing focus. As this is not attached to my artist website, I will be moving in the direction of describing my own creative process, sharing photos and the stories behind them, introducing you to my inspirations and muses, and offering up for your pleasure some of my writing.

I hope you will enjoy some of what follows and get a glimpse into who I am and what motivates me.

Beguiling ME

2010-06-27T10:21:00.005-04:00

Recently, Thom and I vacationed in Maine. To just relate the places we visited and beauty we encountered would do this corner of our country a supreme injustice. Maine is to be experienced…savored. Sometimes you just have to put the camera down and take it all in.

We only had a week, but were able to pack in so much; from Thunder Hole and Schoodic Point, from Bass Harbor and Jordan Pond. You find yourself seeking photographic excellence while immersed in lupine fields that arise with untold regularity or surrounded by beach roses that chose this year to blossom in abundance. Beauty is everywhere…in lighthouses, black dikes, tidal pools, pink granite formations, and windswept pines. At every turn you can see the fingerprints of God.

Rising before dawn, we trekked to the top of Cadillac Mountain, where we witnessed the beginning of the day in America. Our vantage point provided the first glimpse of the sun, as it graces the continent. Wind and cold were ignored while pink, mauve, and gold striations rose from the sea.

Fifteen hours a day, the sun graced our presence. Sunglasses at 5am proved a challenge to my nocturnal predilection.

Granted this trip including the familiar, lots of shopping and eating and touristy bits, but more often included encounters with nature, even bouts with the ethereal. In the distance a loon call is heard then you spot it on the water. Elusive as Nessie. Sidle to close and it dives to a farther shore. Get lucky with the telephoto lens and you capture the blood red eyes, revealing a bird from another more primal world.

You may not know this, but Maine eats the most ice cream per capita in the United States. Having sampled a coupled of the home-crafted flavors I can attest to why. Savoring ice cream made with Bailey's was a treat. One flavor I did pass on was Lobster. Sorry folks, but I like my lobster steaming hot from a pot and ready to be cracked open and dipped in buttah.

Most fortunate of all was having Thom as a tour guide. Not only did he own a B & B in Bar Harbor, but also vacationed there for many years. Nearly a quarter century of experience gave me insight to favored places. Of course, knowing the area also came in handy for our selection of when to go for the best in weather and relative lack of tourists.

Will I return?

Most definitely. If times we different, I would move there or to its sister area of the country, the Pacific Northwest. Give me the slower pace of life. Forgo the city. I would gladly trade concrete and glass for trees and topography.

Conflicted

2010-03-31T21:04:00.004-04:00

I've heard today that the high school I attended back in Chicago is on the verge of having to close. The school has been in operation for just over 100 years. As distressing as this is to some, I find myself conflicted. More than thirty years have passed since I last walked the hallowed halls, passed the statue of Martin Luther en route to a class, or cheered on the Wildcats at a football or basketball game. For all intents and purposes, this has been a lifetime ago. I'm not an active alumni, having left Chicago for good in 1995. I married my high school sweetheart, got divorced and had no children to carry on the tradition of attending this school nestled into a quiet neighborhood on the north side of Chicago.

Financial difficulties are not uncommon in this day and age. And, I understand that LHSN faces a $1.8 million dollar shortfall with creditors coming due in June.

What does shock me is that once a vibrant parochial school with an average of 1300 students when I attended, now finds itself barely able to foster an enrollment of 300. I can't help but wonder how enrollment could have declined so much; whether it be the rising tuition costs that may have outpriced the common family; a lessening in the quality of education; or losing the support and encouragement of the Lutheran community at large.

It seems that the issues are more than just the amount owed. Without firsthand knowledge I cannot know if the education in this Christian setting is doing its best to prepare students to move forward with their education and be accepted into the best colleges and universities. There is a drive on now from many of those I went to school with to save Luther North. Even though my father went to its predecessor, Luther Institute, and my brothers and I attended four years each, I don't feel an overriding personal connection that would impel me to help save the school; too many unknowns, too many years past.

My memories are alive…making crepe paper flowers to decorate homecoming floats, dissecting frogs in biology, acting on stage for the first time in Moliere's Imaginary Invalid, singing in choirs and traveling around with the elite Luther Singers. I cherish the memories and if Luther High School North should discontinue its existence after the many years, the memories will always be there for me.

Was it all just a F.A.D.?

2010-03-28T10:36:00.002-04:00

For a time, I was prolific; a condition that all too often crossed the threshold into sporadic. Now, as evidenced by my absence for months at a time, I have fallen into the ennui-bound realm of nearly non-existent.

Such has been the life cycle of this blog.

At the urging of a friend, I began my observances of life on the now defunct Yahoo!360 as a way to meet people via a medium that afforded itself greater latitude for personal expression. Many of those connections have stayed with me to this more traditional blogging incarnation and the social web of entrapment that is Facebook. They have read my rants with understanding; laughed at my stepping into the horsepiles of absurdity; relished my intelligent discourse on issues of the day (Ok, that was a bit self-indulgent…so sue me).

At the onset, blogging proved itself to be a catalyst for freshening my mind's eye, keeping perspective fresh and new ideas flowing. It spurred action on my long-ago-shelved novel. Dormant characters once again found their voices. My fingers tapped them into renewed and re-energized existence, only to find them tossed aside when faced with distraction.

On Facebook, I found the quest for pithy and obtuse status updates became more important than the emotions and conversations churning inside of me. Now, on a daily basis, I find myself lost in a sea of "friends"—those newly found and those I've re-connected with from the distant past—who more often than not know as little about the "real" me as I do about them. I find myself longing for more and yet powerless to change this reality. It is as if social networking has alchemized into my own personal Kryptonite, sapping the life right out of me.

The inability to scrape beneath the surface has left me bereft. Words barely seep through the sieve of apathy. It feels like I have abandoned my voice. Sent it packing on a cruise through the Parse-ifal Sea, where Word Sharks and Grammarcudas circle in for the kill, attracted to the scent of indifference.

It makes me wonder if the voices that have been screaming for so long to rise up like a revolutionary mob have been nothing more than a F.A.D. (Fraudulent Authorial Dream)? Only time will tell.

Marriage on the Rocks

2009-11-04T14:30:00.002-05:00

Sad. It really is the only descriptive word necessary for this moment in time.

Maine voters went to the polls yesterday and repealed an enacted law that allowed gays and lesbians to marry. What makes this turn of events particularly difficult to swallow is the fact that my partner and I had talked about getting married there this coming summer (he used to live in Bar Harbor for seven years).

All we want is to be able to quantify our relationship. We already wear rings on our fingers. We believe we are married in God’s eyes (please, if you have differing opinion, don’t roll yours). But our love for each other doesn’t provide us with the benefits our heterosexual friends receive due to their having one single sheet of paper…a marriage certificate. Think about this: Without that sheet of paper I have nothing; no legal standing to keep me in my home or pass along property; no visitation rights or medical decision-making in the event of a catastrophe.

I am saddened that there are still so many people out there who truly believe that marriage is to be reserved for a man and a woman. Their convictions—often based on scripture—drive them to believe that giving homosexuals the opportunity (I don’t want to call it a right) to marry will somehow degrade the sanctity of marriage. It seems to me that a better use of time for marriage activists is to prop up heterosexual marriages, too many of which end in divorce.

I can only shake my head in wonder as to how some people can interpret the union of a loving couple as degrading the sanctity of marriage. In my opinion, it can only enhance.

No matter how you slice it, those defending the sanctity of marriage and protecting the status quo are guilty of discrimination. Definitely, NOT something the Jesus would do.

Return to Sender

2009-10-25T14:53:00.003-04:00

Somewhere along the way I seem to have lost something important.

Its preciousness has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with spiritual well-being. Like the five senses, it is an innate ability.

Outside of the safety of the familial cocoon, it has been swallowed up in darkness. Like Peter Pan’s shadow it has become disconnected from my essence.

I know that it is close at hand, tauntingly within reach. But I am blind to its presence.

If you should find it in your personal travels, please mark it RETURN TO SENDER. I’m certain the postal service will return it to me, along with this year’s letters to Santa.

What have I lost?

I’m shocked you even have to ask that question. When have you last seen a grin on my face?

When is the last time you heard me laugh on the phone?

Somewhere, hiding from me…is the ability to have fun.

Seeing Red in a Pink World

2009-10-04T17:50:00.003-04:00

We’ve barely moved into October and I am already feeling the urge to puke pink. No, I’m not about to purge Pepto-Bismol. My revulsion is created by something that has become equally as distasteful…Breast Cancer Awareness Month. My beef isn’t with breast cancer. It is a disease that is truly horrendous and needs to be eradicated.

No, my beef is with the omnipresent marketing of the disease.

Thanks to the Susan G. Komen Foundation, the color pink is plastered everywhere and on everything. What started with a simple pink ribbon has blossomed into endemic proportions. We now have pink laptops (Sony), pink toasters (Dualit), pink yogurt lids (Yoplait), and pink Visa cards; we have pink sneakers (New Balance), pink water pitchers (Vitapur), pink mixers (Kitchen Aid), and pink garden tools (Apollo). The list of pink products continues on ad nauseum.

The last straw for me came today with NFL players wearing pink gloves and cleats. It just went too far.

Cancer touches everyone at some point in their lives.

Mine has been touched over and over again:

-My father died from Bladder cancer
-My paternal grandfather had prostate cancer
-My mother had melanoma
-My maternal grandmother had lymphoma
-My maternal aunt had bone cancer
-My brother has had both prostate cancer and skin cancer
-My MALE cousin has had breast cancer

With this history, it is only a matter of time before cancer touches me.

What angers me is that this excellent marketing campaign has relegated other cancers to the sidelines. It has marginalized other cancer patients who might be coming in for physical treatment or emotional health and are bombarded with the hardly subliminal message during October at hospitals, doctor’s offices, and social service agencies around the country that breast cancer matters MORE. It has made competition for the remaining dollars (for research, for care) fierce.

ALL cancers are serious conditions, but even they are not the deadliest.

At last tabulation, heart disease remains the largest killer in America (even among women). With that in mind…does anyone know when National Heart Month is in America?

I didn’t think so.

-IC

2009-03-29T11:10:00.004-04:00

aromatic beans do
reap hefty euphoric
swell
ironic inkwells woo
artisan colonic
hell

monosyllabic, yes
if it weren’t such tragic
knell
chronic pangs illumine
wordsmith’s epidemic
quell

epic adverbs conspire
critics parse forensic
gel
formic dissolutions
pummel monolithic
Kell

To Valhalla and Back

2009-03-28T15:53:00.003-04:00

Thom and I had planned to have this past week together; free from the constrains of work, not knowing what we would do with our unscheduled time. As the time grew closer, I asked him a most important question:

Do you want a vacation where we "do" something or have a relaxing, re-energizing retreat somewhere?

The stresses of work being what they are for both of us, the answer was unequivocal.

RETREAT.

Out was Disney (we're going in May anyway); out was the Kennedy Space Center; out was flying off somewhere to another busy city, doing the tourist thing.

Serendipity stepped in with Kizmet by her side. A client at work who grew up in the Keys told me of a quaint little resort down in Marathon. Thom called and by coincidence there was just a cancellation for exactly the week we wanted. Whether it be Odin, Freya, or Thor the gods of the Nordic pantheon were shining on us.

There is not much to tell about the resort itself, except that it is off the beaten path, has only five units, and is situated in a beautifully secluded area. Books (and iPhone with Kindle app) in hand, we spent hours relaxing and enjoying Keys life.

When we did venture out, it was mostly to eat. We eschewed dinners in favor of breakfast and a late lunch, deciding that we liked having the afternoon and night to chill and watch sunset. In atypical fashion we ate at only two places: Leigh Ann's Coffee House for breakfast and the Island Fish Co for lunches.

We hated to come home, but I'm sure will visit Valhalla again before the Valkyries come to bring us home.

Alphabet Soup

2009-02-09T07:35:00.002-05:00

Here is a little glimpse into my world through the ABCs of life.
A is for arthritis, which is in my back and neck. Pain is something that I live with each and every day. All I can do is continue to push through it…Hence, softball.

B is for bowling. I used to be a very good bowler. I even have a perfect game to my credit.

C is for choirboy. All through elementary school and high school I sang in choirs. I love choral music. Last year, my oldest brother surprised me at Christmas with a CD that he had digitally transferred from an old album of my high school choir’s Christmas music. Boy, did that bring back memories.

D is for David, my name. It’s one of those names that allows for various permutations. I have gone by Dave, David, D. Michael, D.M. until finally settling in on an appreciation of David. Though really, I will answer to anything other than Davy. Only one person ever got away with calling me that…but that’s another story.

E is for Eugene, OR. I lived there for one year. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth. If ever given the chance, I would retire there. The sense of déjà vu that I experience in that part of the country is amazing.

F is for family. It means so much to me. That’s the main reason for me to be living in Florida…nearness to my brother and mother.

G is for Greyhound. Go Greyhound! And leave the driving to us. NEVER AGAIN! After more than 3 days on buses from Eugene, OR to Tampa, FL, I will never again set foot on a bus. You truly meet the dregs of society.

H is for home. I am a nester. It doesn’t take long after moving for me to decorate, put things in their place, and turn a house into a home.

I is for inseam. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a 29” inseam in pants?

J is for jury duty. I’ve being stuck on the jury for a murder trial. OMG!

K is for keepsakes. I really don’t have too many things anymore that have been passed down from generation to generation. Mostly, I have a couple of individual pieces of kitchenware that I got when my grandmother died. My keepsakes lean more toward the old family pictures that grace our walls.

L is for Leo, my zodiac sign. Enough said.

M is for martinis and margaritas. Enough said.

N is for nuance. Life is filled with intricacies. Doors open. Doors close. Subtle changes in atmosphere surround. A wink, a nod, and a grin…each witness to the language of the body and the soul.

O is for opera. I have a great love for opera. I also have/had a voice that lent itself well to the medium. It was good enough to be considered for the Chicago Conservatory of Music. Sadly, my parents didn’t have the funds to make that a reality.

P is for platinum…as in a nice little band with sapphires for the ring finger on my left hand. (key wedding music, please)

Q is for queer. That’s how I identify as a gay man. And no, I did not misspell it.

R is for rheumatic fever. I contracted this disease as a child. It held me back from physical activity for many years. It turned me into a loner when I couldn’t join the other kids for recess.

S is for sewing. My ex-wife taught me and I went on to sew dresses for her and lounge pants for myself. Some day I will pull out the machine Thom brought and maybe put together some window treatments or pillows.

T is for tiffany, as in lamps. When Thom was showing me pics of his stuff so we could decide what he should move down here, I jumped at the chance to bring his tiffany lamps into our décor. I have always been a fan of stained glass…honey, where is that studio you’re going to use?

U is for Ultimate Frisbee….aside from softball it is easily my favorite sport. If only I were 10 years younger and 40 lbs lighter.

V is for voice. When I turned 40, I began to feel a voice rising from the depths of my being. That voice has found resonance in my writing. Maybe some day my voice will be heard by millions, rather than the select few.

W is for Wisconsin. Our family vacations were always to the north woods for a week of fishing. And I do mean fishing…morning, afternoon, and night.

X is for the X-factor…the unknown. In Buddhist philosophy it is prudent to live in “don’t know.” In this way, you meet the future with open arms.

Y is for youth group leader at church. Ever been in charge of middle school age kids? Ever done a lock-in Halloween party in the school? Ever feel like you have been through the wringers? Ever seen the face of kids light up when you offer to play wiffle ball with them? It’s all in the joy of mentoring.

Z is for zoologist. It was my dream as a kid to work at a zoo. Somewhere along the line that dream fell by the wayside.

Reality Bites - a repost from 360

2009-02-07T07:31:00.003-05:00

Obsession? Escapism? Or, is it just our desire to see people humiliated, demeaned, and driven to extremes?

What am I talking about?

Reality TV, of course.

It’s near impossible to browse the airwaves on a given night without coming across people vying for some prize or another. There is even a satellite channel devoted to this burgeoning genre.
Reality shows have come and gone, but some of the forebears remain…Survivor, Big Brother, and the Amazing Race. These are the scions of the “let’s win us some money” branch of reality shows.

Another branch is the “I have talent. Really, I do. And if I don’t, I still hope to get my 30 seconds of fame” contests. These include America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, and the most successful of all reality shows…American Idol.

Of course, there are also the completely ludicrous but highly entertaining “reality” shows…Who Wants To Be A Superhero? (One of my favorite shows, for it exhibits the absolute best in stupidity and escapism).

But there is another branch that catches my attention more than any other…
I call it the “I know what kind of career I want and winning could give it a HUGE boost.” America’s Next Top Model, Project Runway, Top Chef, Hell’s Kitchen, Next Food Network Star, Top Design, Shear Genius all fall into this category. There are some of these that I have to admit a great love. I find shows that take things like clothing design and cooking allow me to see the creative process from conceptualization to execution. Often I am blown away by what some of these people can do.

Still…I think there is plenty of room for new entries into the genre.
Wouldn’t you just love to see some of THESE shows?

Top Trash – Americans compete in the ultimate garbage challenge. Trash talking ensues as
wannabe civil servants vie for the position of Chief Trash Collector of NYC.

Who Wants To Be A Recycler? – Contestants are given various challenges in keeping with the theme Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. The winner is given a job as caretaker of Al Gore’s multi-million dollar home in Tennessee.

America’s Next Best Selling Author – Aspiring writers face quick fire and elimination challenges proposed by some of America’s most famous authors. Judges include Gore Vidal, Nan Talese, and Stephen King. The winner receives a contract for three novels to be published by Random House and a guaranteed slot on Oprah’s Book of the Month.

I Can Write Songs, Too – Ditties come to life. Torch songs flourish. In this offshoot, contestant battle time and each other to become the next great songwriter. Barry Manilow hosts this show, while Carole Bayer Sager, Burt Bacharach, and Sir Elton John judge the winner, who will be paired with the next winner of American Idol to write songs for their debut album.
None of these compares with my favorite…

TOP SURGEON!

Hosted by Dr. Robert Jarvik, recent graduates from some of the top medical schools in the country vie for the position of Chief Surgeon at Cedars Sinai Medical Center. Can’t you just see it…
Dr. Jarvik: Good morning, contestants. For today’s quick fire challenge, you will be performing an emergency tracheotomy.
{The contestants look at each other with knowing confidence.}
Dr. Jarvik: BUT…there is a catch. You must perform the surgery with an every day household item.
{An aide dressed in scrubs wheels in a stainless steel cart.}
Dr. Jarvik walks over to the cart and pulls away a cloth, revealing these implements utensils: Bic pen, Refrigerator Tubing, and other “right tools for the right job,” as my grandfather used to say.
{The contestants gasp in unison.}
Dr. Jarvik: You will have 5 minutes to complete this challenge, starting…NOW!
{Curtains part and patients are seen lying in hospital beds, waiting}

25 Thoughts

2009-02-01T13:16:00.001-05:00

1. Growing up, my older brothers resented the attention I gained so much that they took to derisively calling me King David. I was oblivious.
2. I’m also oblivious if someone is interested in me. Flirting is completely lost. Unless you hit me over the head caveman style, I will just see everything as innocent conversation.
3. I am woefully—contrary to popular belief—and am uncomfortable in any social situation where I don’t know anyone. The only way I bypass the fear of starting up a conversation is to pretend that I am working.
4. One thing I learned over the years is that—unless I am truly passionate about my job—I live by the credo of “working to live, not living to work.”
5. Passion is something that I have always felt myself to be lacking. I see people who dive into life with gusto, while I feel as if I have been lurking in the shadows for much of my life. I am in awe of those whose passion focuses their actions.
6. It frustrates me that back pain has caused me to give up two things that I am passionate about—bowling, gardening, and softball.
7. Writing has become something I enjoy, but so far find difficulty (lack of passion?) in making the time necessary to be successful. Considering I found my writing voice after turning 40, I give myself at least a few years to publish my own version of the Great American Novel.
8. Rarely do I get invited to parties. Not sure if that means I’m boring and unpopular or whether (more likely) I’m forgettable and an afterthought. Sometimes I feel left out and unloved because of this.
9. I find it hard to maintain friendships after I move away. That’s what has made FaceBook so fun. I’ve re-connected with quite a few people, including some I haven’t seen or talked with in more than 30 years.
10. I cook like my mother—casseroles, meat & potatoes—and rarely take culinary risks.
11. Also, like my mother, I love DisneyWorld and, much to Thom’s chagrin, could spend every vacation there. I find it comforting and the experience never fails to put a smile on my face.
12. Rollercoasters frighten me and I have given over to my fear for Thom’s sake (he loves them and will do anything that involves speed). But I still have my limits.
13. I have never been out of the country and don’t even have a passport. It’s not that I wouldn’t like to visit some places, but finances being what they are I never imagine being able to afford traveling the world.
14. I love playing board games and party games, just as long as I don’t have to draw anything—Picasso I ain’t.
15. There have been times when I showed an interest in picking up a musical instrument and learning how to play. Frustration sets in almost immediately when perfection doesn’t spontaneously appear. I guess this comes from the fact that I pick up most things easily whether it be computer programs, sports, or trivia.
16. Coming up with 25 things is excruciating. Talking about “me” is a chore. I’d really rather be learning about you.
17. Some people are afraid of failure. I, on the other hand, think that I suffer from a fear of success.
18. Of all the places I’ve lived (Chicago, Oregon, NY’s Hudson Valley, South Florida), I would like to retire in Oregon (that’s Ore-E-Gun, son). I’ve never lived in someplace with as many shades of green.
19. Too often I have amazing ideas, but little follow-up. I really should be employed by a major corporation as a visionary.
20. Because I don’t express it, you may not know how much of a friend I consider you to be. I care deeply about so many people and never forget those I consider in my heart to be worthy of friendship. Acquaintances come and go, but friendships, though time and distance get in the way, last forever.
21. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said anything profound, but I have uttered encyclopedias of profane.
22. I love my family deeply. No matter how long it has been since we’ve seen each other, each is precious in my eyes.
23. I am loved and in love. It is the most wonderful essence.
24. Of all the regrets I have throughout the course of my life, it’s that I’ve never had the opportunity to become a father. I know that I would’ve made a great dad. Now I live in a state where I couldn’t adopt, even if I wanted, just for being gay. How many children lose out on loving homes because of the ignorance of others.
25. I still believe in Santa. For me he embodies the goodness of the world.

Return of the Native or Imaginative

2009-01-19T11:12:00.000-05:00

Where has the time gone? It doesn’t seem that three months have passed since I last put thoughts to keyboard and posted something of merit on this page. Major holidays have swept passed with the speed of passersby on a city street. I’ve failed to chronicle Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the beginning of a New Year.

Is there significance in my writing on this particular holiday (Martin Luther King, Jr. Day)? No, it just happens that the bank is closed and Thom is stuck working. So I am here alone with projects to be done around the house and a serious lack of ambition to accomplish any of them. So instead, I will offer up for you a list of thoughts, occurrences, and ambitions from the last three months.

HOLIDAYS – Halloween was a bust. Neither Thom nor I had the energy to be fabulous. Nor did we have the desire to attend the neighborhood street fair that was attended by more than 20,000 revelers (we could hear them until at least 2am through our open windows). Thanksgiving was spent with friends, of course only after watching the Macy’s Parade. For Christmas, we eschewed Disney and hosted friends and family for a scrumptious get together.

BK FLAMER – Before the holidays Burger King introduces a product they hoped would compete with Axe body spray—BK FLAME. Advertisements showed the Burger King king naked by the fire, covered only by a bearskin rug. The ad was disturbing to say the least. The king is one of the scariest promotional characters ever created and conjures but one image for me…pedophilia. What were they thinking?!

TAPS – My laptop died on New Year’s Day. The trauma was complete when Geek Squad could do nothing to recover my data. Stupidly, my last full backup was back in October (see, this page isn’t the only thing I’ve neglected) so much was lost. But hearken…there is a brand-spanking new HP on the way.

DIVERSIONS – I’ve found a couple of new ways to occupy my time and avoid what really needs to be done…Geni.com and Facebook. Now, since many of you are already on Facebook, I won’t go into too much detail other than the joy and surprise of re-connecting with people I haven’t had contact with in up to 30 years. As for Geni, it is a fantastic site where you can compile your family tree and have it accessible for editing to anyone in the family. Great for gathering info and storing family pics.

HANG-UPS – With much sadness, I have retired from playing and coaching softball. The pain in my back is such that I just can’t continue. I can’t describe how difficult walking away from something I love is for me. It easily would have been a full blog of its own, but I just couldn’t bring myself to write it.

MOVING FORWARD – We just set up a new writing space for me in the condo. So hopefully that ever-in-progress novel will get some attention during 2009. I really need to do something to better utilize my time, and escape from the horrors of my job… *NOTE TO SELF* GET A NEW JOB…

Until next time, my lovelies…

Scene of the Crime

2008-10-18T22:47:00.002-04:00

Years have passed since I last crossed over
The threshold still stained red
With a subtle stench of
Carnage cleansed long ago
With no trepidation
I return to the scene of the Crime

Caution blares; my ears ring with the tolling
Of stifled wronged goodbyes
‘Do not cross’ long dissolved
By the intervening
Years since the Queen’s demise
I return to the scene of the Crime

Blinds crack open on a second floor
Window apparitions
Upon my arrival
Scuttle for hidden tombs
Transported back in time
I return to the scene of the Crime

My money placed on fortune’s turning;
A spin of the wheel
Where red is the winner
And black is but color
Comprised of all others
I return to the scene of the Crime

Great are the anxieties of distaste
Ironies straddle Self
Like two raging titans
Dueling psyches clash
Against better judgment
I returned to the scene of the Crime

Unscathed; buoyed by Love beside me
Pages turn fluttering
In the breeze created
From a thousand butterflies
Rising from the cocoon
Soaring above the scene of the Crime

2008-10-13T10:30:00.001-04:00

Working at a bank has its drawbacks...especially now. For the past few months, we have seen the financial world go into a downward spiral unrivaled since the Great Depression.

PALINGENESIS

2008-09-03T17:30:00.002-04:00

I try not to be overly political on this page, even though I have great interest in the political process and maintain very strong opinions. That being said, I can’t step away from the keyboard without touching on the headlines: Sarah Palin Named GOP Vice Presidential Nominee. At first glance this might seem like a rebirth or reawakening of the Republican Party, just the simple fact that Republican’s have included a woman on the ticket is quite a leap for the good ol’ boy network—just ask Libby Dole.

On closer inspection, we find it is more of the same. Maverick McCain (not to be confused with Tom Cruise in Top Gun) has really done nothing more than pander to the extremist wings of his party. In a few short days, Ms. Palin’s history has shown her to be a creationist who can been seen in videos declaring that the Iraq war is God’s work, while her requests for pork barrel Federal money outdistances every other state in the union (Ted Stevens must be proud).

Sparing readers of the tawdry details of her under-aged daughters pregnancy, this self-identified “hockey mom”—maybe not the best choice of identities, since the father of her soon-to-be grandchild is a high school hockey player—is ardently pro-life, even to the extent of refusing to fund sex education classes that actually teach teenagers about sex rather than abstinence only. Apparently, her daughter missed school the day of the abstinence program.

Governor Palin isn’t the first VP nominee to face mountains of criticism. More than anything, she appears to be the victim of a poor vetting process. Can someone you met twice really be your first choice? She seems to be the last minute sacrificial lamb ala Geraldine Ferraro and Thomas Eagleton (both Democrats for those who keep count of failed VP nominees).

Time will tell if she can handle the pressure of being heartbeats from the presidency, whether she will melt under the scrutiny of the press, or fall victim to Joe Biden in some memorable debate.

Only then will we know if she’s been Quayled.

TIME RAVAGES ON

2008-09-01T13:10:00.001-04:00

Time has changed from whence
fearlessness once reigned.
Precarious footholds attained treetops;
superheroic leaps landed softly;
and nothing impeded the aura of
invincible self.
No more.

Time oft takes its toll;
courage abandoned.
Imagined injuries taunt the psyche;
visions of invulnerability
replaced by spectres of casts and crutches.
Leaps of faith, cliché
no more

Time imperiled pride.
Unleashed glimpses spy
youthful exuberance locked up tightly.
Periodic brilliance soon betrays;
confidence briefly to the rafters raised,
where the lion roars
no more.

VEEPSTAKES

2008-08-24T19:38:00.001-04:00

Ever since Barack Obama clinched the Democratic nomination for president, there has been a constant stream of rumors and ruminations surrounding his choice of a vice presidential running mate. Pundits and prognosticators filled the airwaves, espousing the merits of experience over gender, geography over values, age versus youth. At each campaign stop that Senator Obama appeared on stage with another politician elicited whispers of “could it be” him/her? Names were bandied about and passed around like mini quiches at a cocktail party. The list was long…and sometimes impressive.

Now that Joe Biden has been named to play attack dog and loyal soldier to Sen. Obama’s above-the-fray oratorio, I can’t help but think there is a better way to choose a running mate….

VEEPSTAKES 2012

Consider this: America continues to be obsessed with Reality TV. Why not provide our voyeuristic and gladiatorial public with another spectacle? I say we round up 12 likely candidates, force them to live together, compete in character challenges (I know, it’s a political oxymoron), and vie for the title of Vice Presidential Candidate. You’d see backroom politics in the flesh as coalitions and alliances form, while two-faced insincerity and back-stabbing raise their ugly heads.

This political extravaganza is sure to provide viewers with insight. And I’m certain that at the reunion show the “fan favorite” will not be in the studio waiting to compete for the finals, because in politics nice guys really do finish last.

Oh Titus, My Itis!

2008-07-26T17:22:00.004-04:00

I haven't been myself for some time now. You see, when we were on the gulf coast, celebrating my mother's 80th birthday, I developed something I had never experienced...an earache. It was debilitating.

My left ear throbbed. Sensory audibility languished. It seemed I had become a conch, hearing the ocean in my head. With one ear hopelessly out of commission, the remaining amplifier did just that...every sound seemed to be coming out of a newly upgraded theatrical sound system. Not the best combination when surrounded by loud children. Just what is it that provides little girls with the ultimate in shrieky voices?

It was murder. Or better, it was miraculous that I murdered no one.

Returning home completely miserable, I caved and went to the doctor. The homeopathic crap for earaches and swimmer's ear drop had done nothing to alleviate the constant pain with periodic excruciation. Now I understand why children scream constantly when facing this affliction. Following the visit, I found myself armed with cortisone drops and antibiotics. Praise Jesus for medication!

Two more weeks have passed. The pain is gone, but the hearing is still not where it should be. I probably should go to the doctor again, but with the current financial atmosphere I don't want to take more time off. So I continue to try some drops for removing ear wax build up (there's probably enough in there to make a pillar candle) and make it through the days at work...barely.

Vacation I: The Games That Bind Us Together

2008-07-07T18:55:00.006-04:00

Some might say that spending a week with one's family is an ordeal. They envision bickering, fighting, and old wounds surfacing in puss-like fashion. Not my family. We like being together. Yes, there are hiccups in the road but in the end everyone can be found sharing a mutual love...of games.

One thing you must know about my family is that we enjoy playing games: card games, board games, party games, outdoor games, pub games, or active sports. We revel in the participation, the comradery, the competition. Young or old, by birth or by marriage the rhythm & realm of participation reaches out even to the most wary.

One of the games brought out of mothballs this time was Strategic Command. This predesessor to Stratego & Battleship has been in the family for somewhere around 40 years. Tragedy almost struck when my brother forgot to take it out of the back of his pickup truck, remembering it the next morning after an evening of torrential rains. Underterred by the opportunity to share this treasure with new generations, valiant EMT-like rescue work (complete with telephone books & paper towels) was performed by my brothers.

Games also provide my family to laugh (at ourselves and each other). During an exceedingly high spirited game of Catchphrase there were many opportunities to roar.

Mom: Oh geez! I don't know what it is, but I know it's Jewish!

The word she was trying to give clues for was "yeti." Funny, I didn't realize the abominable snowman had made his bar mitzvah.

Oh yes...we can laugh! Sometimes to the point of wheezing, snorting, or peeing in our pants.

I love my family and I love the games that we play.

First Up North

2008-07-06T18:32:00.003-04:00

Before I begin describing our recent vacation activities (which will be apportioned for your ease of reading), I have some business to take care of...

Congratulations to my Blue Ice softball team. While I was enjoying my vacation with family, they were playing their hearts out in a tournament up in Toronto. Competing in the C Competitive Division, they racked up 7 consecutive wins en route to our first ever tournament championship.

THREE CHEERS BLUE ICE!!

Full of Dreams to Last the Years...

2008-06-16T19:17:00.005-04:00

...in Seattle.

Yes, Seattle. Home to the 2008 Gay Softball World Series, and the destination for the Blue Ice. You heard it right, the team that I manage has qualified to participate in this year's premiere event.

We finished a disappointing 3rd in the regular season, and came into the playoffs missing 4 key players. Twelve of us faced a grueling day in the sun (high in the 90s), not an easy task for those of us pushing fifty. The situation became even more intense when one player injured himself, forcing me to play every game (after starting only three games during the season to concentrate on coaching).

Now I don't like to blow my own horn too much, but this old man (bad back and all) still knows how to play the game. In addition to pitching three masterful games (and relieving in the fourth), I averaged nearly .700 with a team-leading 10 RBIs.

Jubilation dies quickly. With only two months to the World Series, I am immediately working on roster moves (who can actually go to the week-long tournament), fundraising (we figure to need about $15K to offset expenses), and getting new uniforms/tshirts for the team. UGH!

So much to do, so little time.

Full of hopes an' full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in Seattle
. . . in Seattle!

Thank you, Perry. Thank you, Blue Ice.

What's Missing in Toronto?...Me!

2008-06-08T19:33:00.002-04:00

Toronto? You must be shaking your head wondering just what the hell this boy from South Florida is talking about. Let me explain.

You see, I'm sending my Blue Ice softball team north of the border for the Independence Day weekend. There is this super fun softball tournament in Toronto that weekend, so the team decided to brave the cold (hey, it will probably be what?...80 degrees? or whatever it is in celsius) and see what all the the fun is about. Two of our guys went last year and had the time of their lives.

Now to the sad part of the story. I can't go! This is probably the only out-of-town tournament that I really want to take part in and I can't go. There wasn't even the slightest chance that I could go. No, it isn't that I don't have the vacation time & it isn't the money. The thing that is keeping me here is family.

My mom will be celebrating her 80th birthday on July 3rd. In honor of that occasion, the entire family will be congregating on Fort Myers beach, where we have rented a beach house for the week. Family will be arriving from Tennessee, Illinois, Arizona, and various parts of Florida to enjoy each others company, frolic in the water, play games of all sorts, and eat & drink ourselves silly.

We did the same thing for her 75th and everyone agreed it was the perfect way to celebrate. Since then, we have lost one member of the family and gained three (including my Thom). Reminiscing will be at a premium. Catching up will take hours. All in the easy going manner that is the hallmark of my family. It will also be the first time they get to meet Thom, except for my mom and one brother (but more on that another time).

So, for very good reason, I will miss out on one helluva time. I will lose out on the opportunity to meet one of my favorite bloggers/softball players who happens to live in Toronto. C'est la vie!

But John/Jainey/Jeepers...I do expect you to give my Blue Ice team the royal treatment while they are in town. I know how much you like to show off the very best of Toronto and play tour guide.

You're Invited

2008-05-29T21:02:00.003-04:00

We’re just about to throw a party. There is so much that one must prepare for when welcoming guests into your home: menus, decorations, and the guest list.

Oh yes, the guest list. You have to invite plenty, because you never know for sure who will show up at your doorstep. Invitees this year run the gamut from dormouse to destroyer.

It goes without saying that we have some friends who will do everything in their power to pump up the volume and transform our humble home into to swirling sensation. Cristobal, Sally, and Edouard have the capacity to turn any boring evening into a total blast.

Then there are those who we love, who will blend into the background. You could almost sense their waning energy the moment they make their way into your neighborhood. Kyle, Vicky, and Laura are all pleasant, but even if they screamed throughout the night, they wouldn’t wake you from a sound sleep.

Of course you can’t forget to invite the dreaded couples. You know the ones….Love one, but the other half is a complete blowhard. Dolly & Ike and Hanna & Gustav fall into this aforementioned category. The ladies are really sweet, but the guys…sheesh! Both of them are nothing but hot air and we’ve got enough of that here in South Florida.

Wilfred, Teddy, Paloma and Rene have been invited, but I think that they might be cruising around Cozumel. While Nana & Omar would love to drop in and join in on the fun, they seem destined for the Bahamas. Josephine & Marco on the other hand are almost certain to make their presence known in a big way.

Our own Debby Downer, Fay, is likely to show. It’s not that we don’t like her, but she does have a habit of raining on everyone’s parade. This year I’d really rather not get drowned by her special recipe of retribution.

There is one other who, though I’d like for him to show, also kind of scares me the most. Arthur is the practical joker of the group. Just think of Paul Lynde in Bewitched. He just loves to come at you from so many directions that your brain is left spinning with thoughts of where he will strike from next.

So the partying begins June 1st. Yes, hurricane season is upon us. Who from the guest list will show up? Who will wreak havoc? All I know for sure is that we have six months of watching the Weather Channel ahead of us, wondering when Big Bertha will pummel us.

Geek Chic

2008-05-25T07:22:00.006-04:00

Yes, it is now fashionable to be a geek. Inspired by actors in television shows such as Chuck and Reaper, technological hipsters have come to the forefront of trendiness. It is now cool to be considered a geek. They can even be transformed from the misanthropic to the swarthy on Beauty and the Geek.

Geeks can easily be spotted in their natural habitats: technology stores and internet cafes. You will not recognize them by telltale markings like spots or stripes. No, geekis americanis is recognized by its somewhat disheveled appearance, as if they awoke from a long night of online surfing and threw on a number of items from the pile next to the best (they love to layer).

Like most popular prey, they tend to run in herds. Careful, though, for they can be spooked by even the slightest flirtatious smile.

Geekdom--contrary to popular belief--is not located in the Realm of Nerd. You will find no plastic pocket protectors among its denizens, which include Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg.

Being a geek has become so popular that rednecks and metrosexuals are flocking to the internet to learn more on how to become the geek next door.

Leading the way in this new fashion trend are four unlikely trailblazers...the boys from Big Bang Theory: Leonard, Sheldon, Howard, and Rajesh. From Howard's belt buckles to Sheldon's shirts, they are setting the stage for geek wannabes around the country. I ask you...who doesn't want to wear a Green Lantern or Periodic Table of the Elements tshirt?

I know I do...Though secretly, I'd rather have Sheldon's flying bats tshirt...but its been discontinued! Dammit!!