Alexis Ihezue

Georgia State University, Undergraduate

Award: $1,000

August 15, 2021

We are pleased to announce Alexis as the winner of The 2021 Life Coach Spotter Scholarship for $1,000. Alexis, an undergraduate student, was selected from a pool of over 400 candidates. Candidates were required to write an essay regarding overcoming personal challenges.

Alexis wrote a heartfelt and moving essay about the sudden loss of her father. A little over a year ago, Alexis’ father passed away and she was left to deal with the many emotions of losing someone so close, so quickly. Alexis decided to channel her love and emotions and push herself to achieve her goals. Alexis is currently preparing for her first undergraduate year at Georgia State. Congratulations, Alexis!

Alexis’ Winning Essay

I hate plastic spoons—or just plasticware in general. I hate them because they remind me of the reusable takeout containers in my house, and I hate those because they remind me of how I used to use them to get food for my dad while he waited in his car. On those daily rides home from school when he was so tired, he’d nap in my driveway for 15 minutes just to get his strength back for the 40-minute ride back to his house, and his expenses stretched too thin to survive on another day of fast food. I hate plastic spoons because they remind me of my dad, and my dad is dead.

June 19th was a year without him.

I also hate plastic spoons because they’re a constant reminder of the morons I live with who never throw them away, letting them clog the dish drain—but mainly for the first reason. When my father died it devastated me. Prior to his passing, I would often ponder how I had no real experience with tragedy or death and was probably immune to them. My cousin, who has basically helped raise me, has frequent brushes with death due to her ongoing battle with Lupus, with her heart had stopped beating on three separate occasions. And I figured, if I never lost her, then I’d probably never lose anyone so soon, either.

And then we hadn’t heard from my father in two weeks.

And then he was in a hospital in south Dekalb.

And then he was in a diabetic coma.

And then he was gone.

Until June 19th, 2020, I thought the most challenging part of high school was the several engineering projects I had to do as part of my school’s advanced STEM curriculum.

How naive of me, I realize now, to think those insignificant assignments would even be comparable to the death of my father.

When I really think about the culmination of my high school experience, it’s a simple car ride home after school with him.

40 minutes to pick me up and another 40 to take me home, and the entire ride he’d just talk to me. It used to drive me crazy how it was always about the same things: he’d repeatedly ask me about my unchanging college list, tell me how excited he was for my senior year so he could stop being my chauffeur, tell me to get some rest, because I was always tired, and he was the only one who could ever tell. And then tell me he was proud of me.

Senior year. 

That was supposed to be our year.

And he passed away before he even got the chance to see it.

And in the midst of my grief swallowing me from the inside out, I realized all I had was unobtainable aspirations for more time, but beyond that, a deep-rooted desire to finally figure out how I could love better.

More.

To truly love someone without bounds, without shrinking away from being touched, or getting nervous at the thought of direct eye contact, or not being afraid at the possibility of ‘getting too comfortable.’ Maybe then I’d know what it actually felt like to hold my father’s hand. To rub his bald head and kiss him on the cheek. To hug him goodbye.

Maybe I’d get to know what it felt like to truly love him the way he deserved.

And in the midst of my grief swallowing me from the inside out, I asked myself when I loved him most, and when I knew he loved me. It’s nothing but brief flashes, like bits and pieces of a dream. I hear him singing “Fix You” by Coldplay on our way home, his hands across the table from me at our favorite wing spot that we went to weekly after school, him driving me home in the middle of a rainstorm, his last message to me congratulating me on making it to senior year.

It’s me finding a plastic spoon in the sink last week and remembering the obnoxious way he used to eat.

I see him in bursts and flashes. A myriad of colors and experiences.

And I think to myself, ‘That’s what it is.’

It’s a second. It’s a minute. That’s what love is. It isn’t measured in years, but moments. It was the moment I looked at my 95-year-old grandmother’s face and saw how she looked just like him, even with her close-cropped grey hair and round face. It was him. And he was made of her.

It was the moment I woke up to the news she had passed away two months after he did.

Now I cherish them, these little pockets of time, bursts of cosmic energy and color because each experience is a different shade and hue. A light blue when my friends make me laugh, a deep red when I talk to family, the shade of grey as I remember my father. Life—love—we—are all just nanoseconds colliding into one another in a spectrum of colors. And when this is all we are—all I am—how foolish of me to think that there could ever be enough time. It’s all just moments. I’ve learned to let them consume me before the memories do.

But my father’s passing also taught me the importance of leadership, and that it is never just a decision.

It’s a duty.

I wanted nothing more than to drown in my despair, but I still had to accomplish the dream nurtured by me and my father. The biggest thing I’ve come to understand is that, so often, when I heard the word “leadership,” I immediately connected it to “followers,” foolishly thinking I could never truly be one unless I had them, that I’m not one because I’ve never served in student government or been president of a club.

But sometimes, it’s not the followers we need.

Sometimes. We just need to be leaders to ourselves.

I’ve learned that being a leader isn’t always holding yourself together in order to stay strong; it’s letting yourself fall apart so that you can pick up the pieces to put yourself back together again.

So, I grieved.

I gave myself distance when I needed it, made everything a love letter to my father, and cried when I could.

I opened myself up to let it all out.

At the end of the day, no one was going to experience my grief for me.

And I wish I could say that this revelation magically cured my grief.

That somehow, through those endless nights of tears and sadness that seem so far away removed from me now, I no longer must feel the weight of those two things today.

But I’d be lying.

It still hurts like hell.

Every day I wake up, I have to make the conscious decision to become more than the sharp pain that hits me when I remember that I no longer have a father waiting for me in the driveway, waiting for his plastic container. But that’s just the way life is when you lose someone you love so much. Grief is an open wound that never really heals. Like Justin Robinson, a director known for the film he made in dedication to his late brother, explained. You bleed out for the rest of your life, and there’s nothing you can do about it. That’s the reality. When you love someone that much, it’s always going to be painful, and everything you touch will have blood on it.

So, no, my father’s passing and everything I’ve learned from it doesn’t make it hurt any less. But our moments are vibrant flashes in the recesses of my memory, and the vulnerability from losing him only makes them stronger. I will see him again one day. And until that day, I will continue to lead myself through the pain of it all. Because my life, and the reason I choose to live it in honor of him, is so much more than my grief.

And that will never change.

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Arizona State University, Undergraduate

Award:  $1,000

August 15, 2018

We are pleased to announce Nicole Ahlstrand as the winner of The 2018 Life Coach Spotter Scholarship for $1,000. Nicole, an undergraduate from Tempe, AZ, was selected from a pool of almost 70 candidates. Candidates had to submit an essay and video, both detailing overcoming a personal challenge, and proof of enrollment in an accredited university.

Nicole produced an incredibly open and moving essay and video illustrating her personal journey with overcoming self-harm and depression. Nicole took us on her journey, explaining the multiple difficult events that were the catalyst for her mental health issues. Her story touches on the very things that many people with mental illnesses experience- bullying and fear of rejection due to ignorance surrounding mental illness. Despite the difficult events and the mental health issues Nicole endured, she decided to use her knowledge and experience to help promote mental health awareness and understanding. We find her courageous spirit, drive and ability to use a painful experience to promote wellbeing and mental health awareness incredible, and we are honored to award our scholarship to her. Well done Nicole!

Read Nicole’s Winning Essay

A challenge is defined in the Meriam-Webster dictionary as “a task or situation that tests someone’s abilities.” We are all faced with challenges throughout our lives, and some challenges may be more challenging than others but all in all they are difficult periods in our lifetime that are able to provide us with an invigorating lesson and useful future knowledge.

I was 13 when I started self-harming. My parents had just gotten a divorce after 5 long years of an unhappy and unhealthy marriage and separation, I transferred school districts and attended my eighth grade year where I didn’t know a soul, I was bullied by boys who consistently called me fat and poor every day for a few months, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was accompanied by seizures, my mom had a stroke and I was just starting to explore the world of love and heartbreak. It was a time that I felt like everything was hitting me all at once and when I finally resorted to cutting myself, I could not help but use it as a prime coping skill. I hid my scars from everyone as much as I could, I did not want to reveal my weakness to those around me, so I did everything I could to keep this side of me in the closet with the rest of my skeletons. Years passed, and I was still in the original position I had found myself in but even more sad. I started to become transparent. My mom could see that I was lifeless, and my friends could see that I was in pain. I could not understand why I felt the way that I did because many people around me could have had it worse. I was not starving, and I always had the most updated phones and other electronics. I was privileged no doubt, but I still found myself overwhelmingly sad. Teenagers around me were very uneducated and unaware about mental illnesses, thinking that a person was “psycho” or “crazy” if they had to deal with depression, or anxiety or any other mental illness. This made me apprehensive about telling anyone that I was feeling the way that I was because I had already gone through enough teasing and bullying that I did not want to give them another flaw that they could add on to their “to-tease about” list so I kept quiet but as soon as my mother caught on, there was no hiding it no matter how much I wanted to. At first, my mom was also very uneducated about mental illnesses and thought that it was something that I was doing to seek attention and that I needed to simply snap out of it, but I found that almost impossible. Not having the support that I needed was very hard on me, and eventually I felt like I was being pushed off the edge of a mountain that I had already been too close to in the first place and I tried to end my own life. I swallowed pills and hoped that they would permanently take the sadness away, but it didn’t. I ended up being placed into an adolescent stabilization center to address my mental illness from a serious viewpoint where I was nothing but supported. I was in the facility for 7 whole days in which there were many tears, laughs, hugs and anger but in the end, it made me a completely different person and I am happy to say that I have yet to self-harm since that day, which was over 3 years ago. I was 13 when I started self-harming. My parents had just gotten a divorce after 5 long years of an unhappy and unhealthy marriage and separation, I transferred school districts and attended my eighth grade year where I didn’t know a soul, I was bullied by boys who consistently called me fat and poor every day for a few months, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumor that was accompanied by seizures, my mom had a stroke and I was just starting to explore the world of love and heartbreak. It was a time that I felt like everything was hitting me all at once and when I finally resorted to cutting myself, I could not help but use it as a prime coping skill. I hid my scars from everyone as much as I could, I did not want to reveal my weakness to those around me, so I did everything I could to keep this side of me in the closet with the rest of my skeletons. Years passed, and I was still in the original position I had found myself in but even more sad. I started to become transparent. My mom could see that I was lifeless, and my friends could see that I was in pain. I could not understand why I felt the way that I did because many people around me could have had it worse. I was not starving, and I always had the most updated phones and other electronics. I was privileged no doubt, but I still found myself overwhelmingly sad. Teenagers around me were very uneducated and unaware about mental illnesses, thinking that a person was “psycho” or “crazy” if they had to deal with depression, or anxiety or any other mental illness. This made me apprehensive about telling anyone that I was feeling the way that I was because I had already gone through enough teasing and bullying that I did not want to give them another flaw that they could add on to their “to-tease about” list so I kept quiet but as soon as my mother caught on, there was no hiding it no matter how much I wanted to. At first, my mom was also very uneducated about mental illnesses and thought that it was something that I was doing to seek attention and that I needed to simply snap out of it, but I found that almost impossible. Not having the support that I needed was very hard on me, and eventually I felt like I was being pushed off the edge of a mountain that I had already been too close to in the first place and I tried to end my own life. I swallowed pills and hoped that they would permanently take the sadness away, but it didn’t. I ended up being placed into an adolescent stabilization center to address my mental illness from a serious viewpoint where I was nothing but supported. I was in the facility for 7 whole days in which there were many tears, laughs, hugs and anger but in the end, it made me a completely different person and I am happy to say that I have yet to self-harm since that day, which was over 3 years ago.

The hardest part about dealing with mental illness is by far the stigma that comes right along with it. It is often that people are unable to make the connections that mental illness is an illness of the brain and therefore is an illness. We often adapt schemas as very young infants on how the world works the way that it does. Overtime, from generation to generation these schemas can evolve piece by piece and can be a completely different schema in the difference of 100 years but still be related in a few aspects. Mental illnesses awhile ago were seen as demonic and apart of witchcraft. While thankfully, that is not the view in today’s world but there is still the stereotype of being “crazy” when a person has a mental illness which started centuries back when mental illness took crazy to another level. These stereotypes are often what drive people away from getting the help that they may very well need, and this is what made me struggle alone and in silence for many years which was by far the lowest point of my challenging mental illness journey.

I overcame my struggle with my depression when I opened myself up to receiving help and actually using what I had learned. Finding things, I enjoyed, like writing and psychology were a big part in helping me overcome as well as the support system that I have behind me. Including my beautiful two-year-old, Aubrey that makes me smile every single day. She is my biggest fan and thinks I am the best person ever! I love it.

I want to use my experiences with struggling through depression through my teenage years and even now to help others be aware of the better and brighter days that are ahead of them even if they feel like they are stuck in never ending darkness. I also want to consistently help spread awareness on the importance of mental health so that less people will be afraid of opening themselves up so that they can help themselves as well.

Through these experiences, I learned that an illness is an illness regardless of it being in your lungs or in your brain functions. Mental illnesses are almost always uncontrollable without proper treatment and help so having a mental illness does not make a person and can never make a person “crazy.” If it was not for me not caring about what other people say and being myself so that I can get the help I need, I might not be here today and that is something that is very important to me. Life is so important, and we need to take care of ourselves, even our mind.

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Alyssa B.

Colorado State University, Undergraduate

Award: $1,000

August 15, 2020

We are pleased to announce Alyssa as the winner of The 2020 Life Coach Spotter Scholarship for $1,000. Alyssa, an undergraduate student, was selected from a pool of almost 500 candidates. Candidates were required to write an essay regarding overcoming personal challenges.

Alyssa wrote a very open and honest essay about her life experiences and challenges. From an early age, Alyssa dealt with abuse and health issues. With all of the obstacles that were thrown Alyssa’s way, she always turned to education as a way to get through it. As a model student from high school to undergrad, Alyssa continued to push herself despite personal challenges. Alyssa has now decided to go back to school for a degree in Business Management at Colorado State University. She is excited to begin this new chapter and get back to learning again. Congratulations, Alyssa!

Applications for our 2021 scholarship are open as of August 15, 2020.

Alyssa’s Winning Essay

Telling the story of my biggest challenge in life is a challenge in itself because at 28 years old, life has definitely presented me with a lot of challenges.

My old story is this, I grew up in a dysfunctional family filled with teen pregnancies, drug and alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, and parents who divorced when I was nine years old. My dad refused to accept my mom’s plea for a divorce, so instead, he stalked my mom and broke her arm which put him in jail and resulted in a restraining order. The custody battle turned ugly and my mom ended up homeless living in our family van down at the beach showering in public sinks. My dad decided to “take us” from her instead of paying her court-ordered child support. He did this in an effort to completely devastate my mom so she would have no choice but to take him back. My dad always knew how to earn money to provide for our family of six, but he did not know how to be a caregiver so having him as my full-time parent meant raising myself.

We moved houses 17 times before I turned 18 years old. I intentionally do not call them homes because I did not live in them long enough to even take my things out of the moving boxes. I knew that we would inevitably be moving again soon so no sense in doing the extra work. I also spent as much time as I could at the school library taking advanced classes to pursue getting into Stanford University. I also spent my free time doing every sport I could: basketball, volleyball, track, cheerleading. They were all during different seasons which meant I had a year-round stress outlet. When I was not in school, at the library or playing sports, I was at a friend’s house so that I did not have to be “home” watching my 16-year-old sister take “bong rips” (smoke weed) in our living room while I watched her newborn and my dad yelled at us in the background.

When I turned 14 years old, I was finally reunited with my mom and my dad let my little sister and I move into an apartment with her. Things were great for about a year, but when I was 15 years old in 2008 the economy collapsed and so did my relationship with my mom. Her thyroid shut down, she lost her job and she became an alcoholic. When my older sister had her second baby at 19 years old, I actually drove her to the hospital to give birth to my nephew because my mom was too drunk to drive her in the middle of the night. I was 15 ½ years old with a learner’s driving permit driving my 19-year-old sister to the emergency room at 11:00 pm at night to give birth. I also had school the next day and an English project due.

When I was 18 years old, my mom was still unable to provide for me and the economy was not showing signs of getting better (2010). I had no other choice but to move out on my own just three months after my 18th birthday. As a young girl with only a high school diploma and some restaurant hostess/bussing experience, I found an advertisement in the local newspaper for a bedroom to rent in some older lady’s house for $700 a month with utilities included. Because I live in the San Francisco Bay area I knew this was the best deal I was going to get. So, I made it happen. I worked two restaurant jobs and a weekend gig showing open houses. All the while putting myself through community college. In 2014, I was able to graduate from community college with two Associate degrees and a 3.64 GPA. In High School, I graduated with a 4.3 GPA, so I was not impressed by my 3.64 college GPA. Now looking back six years later at 28 years old, I am in awe that I even accomplished going to college, to begin with.

I always love school and excelled academically. School was always my escape, the one stable thing that I knew would reward me if I worked hard enough. When other kids complained about school, I felt gratitude. I always felt sorry for kids in other parts of the world who did not have the opportunity to attend school. My friends thought I was “crazy” for liking school.

Then, life shifted and in 2018 I considered ending my life.

I had never been suicidal or ever thought about doing such a thing. I heard my dad threaten it so many times and I always hated that. But my physical and emotional pain was unbearable. Since the age of 14 years old, I have suffered from an extremely debilitating headache disorder called cluster headaches. They happen in an episode or “cluster” then go into remission for anywhere from two months to two years. When they attack, they occur 1-3 times daily for about 6 weeks straight. They last 2- hours each and they are like your worst migraine multiplied by 10. Several medical studies have compared cluster headaches to the pain of childbirth and even nicknamed them “suicide headaches”. When I have one, I can’t even open my eyes because the pain is so unbearable, I can’t hear any noises or it sends the pain through the roof, I can’t go outside because the gentle breeze or the light of the sun can trigger another headache, I can’t sleep on my left side because the pain from the headaches is so traumatic that the nerves on the left side of my head are left sore and tender for days after. Plus the weight of my head and can trigger more headaches. I can’t make plans to see friends or travel like other normal people because I don’t know if I’m going to be debilitated or not. I have oxygen tanks delivered to my house with a prescription for oxygen so high it requires two doctors’ signatures. Because the headaches do not respond to traditional headache medicine, oxygen therapy is the only thing that can help relieve symptoms temporarily for up to 5 minutes. Even though the headaches last for up to 6 hours that 5-minute break is one of the best five minutes of my life.

Despite having had this disability for 13 years, in 2018 I felt an avalanche of the compounding effects of the mental and spiritual pain it was causing me. I started to look at my husband and my family and think about how much they have to take care of me when I’m going through one of my episodes. I started feeling bad about the money they would lose by taking off work to bring me to the ER, bring me food, or pick up my prescriptions. I felt like a burden to everyone. I thought about my co-workers who would have to go for 6 weeks without me there with no notice. I started thinking about what kind of mother I would ever be if I could not even care for myself. This hit me the absolute hardest. I know my life has always been a struggle, but this time I finally felt like giving up.

Telling myself to keep fighting in this dark moment was my biggest life challenge so far.

Even recalling this moment right now in a 1,000-word essay brings up so many raw emotions that my eyes are teary and my hands are shaking. To be honest, when I sat down to write this essay, I thought about skipping it and just picking a different scholarship that did not require me to dredge up the darkest and most challenging thing in my life. Then I realized two things. First, I am a survivor. I will succeed in any challenge life throws at me. Second, this year has been transformative. I lost my career job with The Ritz-Carlton in March 2020 due to the Coronavirus. On the same day I got laid off, March 17th, 2020 my amazing mother-in-law Kathy died unexpectedly at only 63 years old. She died of a blood infection caused by a blood transfusion where the doctor forgot to prescribe her antibiotics. Through the grief, I realized that going back to school is what I need right now to center me, to distract me, to keep me fighting through the daily and episodic challenges of life. School is where I feel safe even if it’s an online program and I’m 28 years old going back to college!

I have learned that what you may have believed was your biggest challenge, probably was not and that it may just be one of many. But if you can find your strengths and strengthen your weaknesses, you will find that life is beautiful and there is always something to celebrate.

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Robert Kariuki

Central Washington University, Undergraduate

Award: $1,000

August 15, 2019

We are pleased to announce Robert Kariuki as the winner of The 2019 Life Coach Spotter Scholarship for $1,000. Robert, an undergraduate originally from Kenya, was selected from a pool of over 350 candidates.

Robert composed an incredibly moving essay about the unimaginable struggles he faced as a child, and how he overcame them as an adult. Due to his parents moving to the USA in hopes of providing a better way of life for his family, he grew up at his aunt and uncle’s house in Kenya. He walked 15 miles to school due to not being able to afford the bus fare, slept in harsh weather conditions in a room with deadly snakes within reach, and went to school hungry most days because of financial constraints. Once Robert was able to make his way to the USA to reunite with his parents after 15 years, he struggled with the adaptation of a predominantly English speaking country. He is fluent in four Kenyan languages, none of which are applicable in America. He took it upon himself to attend an additional group on top of his studies to learn how to read and write in English. He used what he learned to succeed in his classes and to be able to communicate with his American siblings. His story goes on to prove how Robert’s past difficult circumstances don’t define his present or future. He not only made a life for himself in the USA but is looking to embark on a career to give back to the very people who helped him learn English. Reading his amazing essay, you would never be able to tell Robert ever struggled to construct an English sentence. It is an absolute honor to award our scholarship to him. Congratulations, Robert!

Read Robert’s Winning Essay

It was a freezing night back in the year 2000 when we arrived at Jomo Kenyatta Airport located in Nairobi, Kenya. I was saying goodbye to my parents. I was too young to comprehend what had occurred. It was not until some years later when the hard reality kicked in. My parents had left me to go to the United States of America in search of better employment, and they were not coming back. They were escaping the poverty experienced by my family in Kenya. My mother had five brothers and four sisters; none of them had the chance to attend school. Her youngest sister was the only one to graduate from high school. Due to financial constraints, she was unable to further her education. Years later, I also had the golden opportunity to attend a public school. However, life was not easy.

As a child growing up in my aunt and uncle’s house in Kenya, I walked roughly fifteen miles to and from school; from Monday to Friday. The mornings were especially brutal. I would put on shorts that barely reached my knees, and the cold mornings were unforgiving. I could not afford ten Kenyan shillings or the equivalent to 0.0097 American dollars to pay for my bus fare, regardless of my parents being in America. Sometimes, I went to school on an empty stomach. My aunt and uncle sometimes argued over my care, and I would pay the terrible consequences. My stomach growling so loudly in class. My teacher and classmates would burst into laughter. If only they knew my story, I quietly wondered feeling embarrassed. During the nights, I slept in a room meant to store building materials like cement, which was located roughly thirty meters from the main house. Those were horrible nights. The room was poorly built and had large openings on the sides and the roof, which allowed the biting cold to pass through. Before I slept, I had to thoroughly check all around the room, making sure no poisonous snakes were hiding. My most feared one was the deadly Black Mamba. The area we lived in was famously known for the huge abundance of these deadly snakes.

On the 10 th of October 2015, I set foot in America. I saw my parents for the first time in fifteen years. They could barely recognize me. Furthermore, I shed tears when I saw my siblings for the first time; as they were born in America. Little did I know what to expect. I could barely communicate with my siblings due to their American English accent. My battle to speak and write in English officially started. I speak four Kenyan languages, none of which are applicable in America. My brother, who is the youngest, questioned my origin and wondered who I was due to my terrible English accent. To date, he still struggles to comprehend the fact that he has a Kenyan brother. That was just the tip of the iceberg.

My inexperience with English intimidated me when I enrolled in the summer of 2016 at Tacoma Community College (TCC). I had a rough time writing college essays. One day, my English 101 professor informed us that we had to write an essay about the American Constitution. I found myself confused with five languages; including English. I could scarcely write a grammatically and correctly punctuated English sentence. My struggle with English brought me to my knees during exams. I had to translate them word for word in Kiswahili; one of my native languages while I took them. Meanwhile, my classmates made it look easy and
would finish the exams in record time. I was always the last student to leave class. Some professors understood my situation, and allocated me some more time to battle my exam. I nearly quit school because of my poor English.

To improve my English and to gain my brother’s acceptance, I started attending an English conversation group that was started by immigrant students from the United Arab Emirates (UAE). I had the chance to interact with other students who shared a similar story. Together, we learned how to speak and write in English. Thanks to the group, my written and spoken English significantly improved. To date, I am still great friends with some of the group members. Additionally, I attended my English professor’s office hours for further writing help. Sometimes, she teased me that I needed to leave some time for other students. Regardless, I persisted.

Despite my background and terrible English, I pressed on and graduated from my community college. In addition, I took some Spanish classes as I am passionate about languages. I will not let my poor English bar me from becoming a pilot flying for Emirates, and being addressed as Captain Robert Kariuki. This is my dream. I applied and got accepted to my major as a professional pilot, with a minor in Spanish at Central Washington University (CWU). I Plan on starting CWU this coming fall.

From my experiences growing up in a third world country, and my battle with English, I learned that my past does not define my future. I found the self- motivation deep in me to forge ahead even when faced with significant challenges. Lupita Nyong’o a Kenyan- Mexican Hollywood actress once said, “Your dreams are valid.” Therefore, with perseverance and commitment, I will realize mine one day. Furthermore, I learned the significance of lending a hand to others; even with the smallest of things. (Xanax) As a result, If possible, I plan on forming an English conversation group at CWU to help students from underrepresented backgrounds, for whom English is not their first language. The United Arab Emirates Students put a smile on my face when I was struggling, and I plan on reciprocating their kindness to others at CWU. With help from the prestigious Life coach spotter scholarship, my goals of joining CWU as an immigrant and first- generation student will be realized. Thank you for considering me for this scholarship.

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The 2017 Scholarship Winner

Kayla Lockwood

Indiana University, senior

Award:  $1,000

August 15, 2017

We are pleased to announce Kayla Lockwood as the winner of The 2017 Life Coach Spotter Scholarship for $1,000. Kayla, a senior from Bloomington, IN, was selected from a pool of almost 40 candidates. Candidates had to submit an essay and video, both detailing overcoming a personal challenge, and proof of enrollment in an accredited university.

Kayla composed an incredibly moving essay and video explaining how her life has been affected by the autoimmune disease, lupus. When Kayla was just 15, she lost her best friend, Kaitlyn, to the disease. In a terrible coincidence, Kayla was diagnosed with lupus at the age of 19. Kayla then knew what her purpose in life would be – to work towards better diagnosis and treatment for lupus patients. She would fight this disease for Kaitlyn but also herself.

Today, Kayla leads monthly lupus support groups in Indiana – both online and in her community – and strives everyday to make herself physically stronger to fight the disease. She has gone to our nation’s capital to speak with Congressmen about lupus research funding and successfully helped to increase funding by $5 million. She has changed her major at Indiana University’s School of Public and Environmental Affairs to Management to work towards helping others in the nonprofit sector. She is doing all this while dealing with the daily struggles of lupus. Kayla is a true inspiration and we are proud to provide her with this scholarship. Congratulations, Kayla!

Applications for the 2018 scholarship contest open as of August 15, 2017.

Kayla’s Winning YouTube Video Essay

Watch Kayla’s winning video essay on YouTube here.

Kayla’s Winning Essay

I was first introduced to the term “lupus” by my best friend Kaitlyn. In middle school, Kaitlyn and I had mud fights at carnivals and we would dance to Beyonce’s “Halo” at the school dances. In high school, she jokingly proposed to me with a ring pop in front of a large crowd and we also rode a kiddie rollercoaster and fake screamed like it was the scariest ride of our lives. If I was upset, she would be standing outside my classroom door ready to pull me into a hug. In early 2011 she showed me the spots on her stomach that she went to the doctor for and in that same day told me that if for some reason I ever died that she would talk to the sky as if I was still there.

My lupus journey began when Kaitlyn’s unexpectedly ended on September 15th, 2011, when she passed in her sleep from a blood clot due to lupus complications. We were 15. I never imagined that I would actually be the one talking to the sky. The hardest part was accepting that my best friend was gone and it was unfair she did not get to experience more in life. It completely rocked my world, but I vowed I would make a difference in her name somehow, someday.

Coincidentally, I went through the lupus diagnosis process when I was a freshman in college. It was scary news considering Kaitlyn did not survive her ride with lupus. I have had a mountain of health issues over the years but I do not feel like I can complain much as my symptoms are not as severe as others’. Raynaud’s and sun sensitivity are probably my least favorite symptoms, especially considering I challenged myself to be a lifeguard this summer while maintaining a job at the gym. I try to stay on top of my health and have made a lot of progress in weightlifting and a better diet to try to combat weakness and fatigue. I feel like I am at the doctor’s office way more than a 21 year old should be. I have seen rheumatologists, hematologists, dermatologists, and more recently a cardiologist. I fight for myself and am glad I am able to do so, not only for myself but in hopes of inspiring others who are going through some kind of struggle. I want to be a positive light to everyone I meet.

Kaitlyn had written in my yearbook that I always stick up for her. I have strived to keep true to this even in her absence and it has helped me cope tremendously. I joined the Lupus Foundation of America’s Indiana Chapter when I was trained to be a lupus support group facilitator for Bloomington. I lead a monthly support group to help lupus patients or those affected by it develop coping strategies, as well as be a friend who understands. I recently helped Eli Lilly shape clinical trials by telling them how they can make their trials more comfortable and accessible for lupus patients. I attended the Lupus National Policy Summit on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. to elevate lupus on the nation’s healthcare agenda. I met with our Congressmen to tell them why lupus research funding needs to be increased. There is no cure for lupus. The diagnosis process is often lengthy and people like Kaitlyn do not have that kind of time. Only one drug has been approved by the FDA in 60 years for lupus, and most patients are treated with drugs for other diseases such as anti-malarial. More needs to be done so that those suffering can have better quality of life.

I want to be able to use my degree to push for the help that these lupus patients need, as well as anyone who needs assistance that I may encounter. I did not realize what degree I wanted right out of high school. It took me a while to come to terms with my passions. I am a transfer student pursuing SPEA after a long road of soul searching. I originally started school my freshman year at the University of Southern Indiana in Evansville, where I excelled and made the Dean’s List. I continued academic success and received my associate’s degree in education, magna cum laude, through Ivy Tech during my sophomore year. During my time as an education major, I was an assistant kindergarten teacher. I realized I loved helping kids and people, but did not feel as though it was the kind of impact I wanted to make. I wanted to be able to reach more people on a larger scale in a positive light.

I transferred to Indiana University Bloomington in hopes of making it into the Kelley School of Business. My course load was rigorous considering I had used up most of my “gen-eds” and was placed in almost all Kelley prerequisite classes. It was challenging for me, but I did my best and still managed to perform well. However, I was beginning to question whether this was the right place for my intended goals. My advisor then informed me about SPEA. The calm had finally come through the storm; SPEA contains non-profit and public components, which I love. I would love to make a difference in as many lives as I can. My dream is a world where there is a cure for lupus and autoimmune diseases. I have already found my SPEA-based classes this semester to be teaching me an abundance of useful information for making changes within policy, within others, and within myself. While I will never just “get over” Kaitlyn passing away, I am so thankful to have known such a wonderful person who has shaped a huge part of who I am today.

The post The Life Coach Spotter 2017 Scholarship Winner appeared first on Life Coach Spotter.

One of the most important things to note about schizophrenia is some it can either be mild schizophrenia or severe schizophrenia. However, whichever type of schizophrenia a person has, a lot can be learned from them.
 

Disability is not inability

Many people have looked at people with schizophrenia as abnormal and unable to do what others can. However, this notion has been quashed repeatedly by people who have looked at life beyond their condition.

Fredrick Frese is a psychologist with an experience of over 40 years, a PhD holder, former Marine Corps Officer, and a schizophrenia diagnosed patient. Frese was first treated at the Ohio Mental Hospital for delusions and paranoid schizophrenia when he was 25. Despite his disability, he was able to study and is now a Professor of Psychiatry at Northeast Ohio Medical University. This is one of the best examples that schizophrenia can be managed with the right medicine and support from mental health caregivers, family and friends.

Misconceptions about disability are many, and most people believe that those who face mental illness cannot manage the disease and live a normal life. However, Frese and many others live to prove this belief wrong.
 

There are different ways to view reality

Schizophrenics have their own way of viewing the world. They have a different perspective when looking at the world. They challenge what is seen as normal, offering another interesting perspective. This is exactly what most people need as overthinking issues makes problems look bigger.

In a story shared by a woman who has a schizophrenic elder brother, she says that her brother shows her that the world is not a nice place to live in but it is can be fascinating with a bit of imagination. She spends time talking to her brother about different things and says they have a great sibling bond. She further says they have sibling secrets between them. She views her brother as humorous and humble enough to admit his faults. This, she says, makes her see life differently.

While the journey to recovery is hard, schizophrenics show that with the right attitude and perspective one can overcome life’s hurdles. They teach that having a different perspective brings hope that better days will come.
 

Discipline

To accomplish anything, discipline is crucial. Schizophrenics are some of the most efficient people in history and in the present world. Schizophrenics like American football player Lionel Aldridge, jazz musician Charles Buddy Bolden, guitarist Pete Greene and American mathematician John Nashhave shown great determination and discipline. This is evidenced by how successful they became in their careers.

Schizophrenics have to ensure that they continuously adhere to their medication and routines to avoid excessive behavior. A slight change in routine may cause destructive behavior. For example, a person suffering from schizophrenia and bipolar needs a certain amount of money in his or her purse to avoid over spending during a manic period. For schizophrenics, it is crucial to ensure that particular behavior is upheld and medication is always taken to avoid excessive behavior.

While strict adherence to routine may not be the norm for people without schizophrenia, some level of discipline in all aspects of life is required. They show that discipline is at the core of success.
 

Conclusion

Schizophrenics while being termed crazy or mad, teach us to see life differently; they show us how to add that zing to life. Stigma against those with schizophrenia is rife as people with the illness are poor, homeless, and unemployed. However, as shown, schizophrenia is a treatable mental illness and with love and support, those with schizophrenia can manage the mental illness and live a fruitful life. It will only call for the understanding of those around these victims. With a keen eye, we are bound to learn so much from these people; lessons that can help us shape our lives better.

The post 3 Life Lessons You Should Learn from Someone with Schizophrenia appeared first on Life Coach Spotter.

The waves of nonverbal pain pounding between your earlobes with nauseating effects. You have to call upon every ounce of will-power just to keep from puking all over yourself.

“I have to get a grip on my thoughts or my head’s going to explode.”

All because of the day before, you were dodging a barrage of fiery darts from the pits of hell catapulted at you from your workplace by backstabbing co-workers, arrogant vendors, and that idiotic grumpy ole boss.

Life just isn’t fair!

How many mornings have you opened your eyes feeling this very same way?

Well, the great news is you DON’T have to live like this, there’s a way out, and it doesn’t have anything to do with rocket science.

It’s insanely easy, seeking out a life coach that can guide you through the nasty hurdles of life.

I can hear you now, “yea right, how can a life coach help me?”

Duh, if Lebron James, Tom Brady, Jordan Spieth, or any other athlete that comes to mind had your mindset they wouldn’t be making millions and living the lifestyle that YOU so desperately desire. Am I right?

Come on it’s time to crawl out from under a rock and join the blissful world around you. Coaches aren’t for just sport celebrities anymore, everyone with common sense are using their expertise, knowledge, and skills to prosper in life.

It’s time to join the world of helping one another, to get Fired Up about living/loving life to the fullest on your own terms. A life coach can help you do this!

There’s many avenues to take with a life coach at your side:

• Starting new goals
• Guiding you in managing certain issues while doing a particular task.
• Cultivating your skills to make you more motivated, efficient, resilient, creative, and productive, which drives your performance upward beyond the expertise needed for the job.
• Building personal relationships by sharing experiences, boosting confidence and solving personal issues that might be affecting your professional life.
• The Mission for overall personal and professional development helps in confidence building, improving self-image and all other personal areas in life.

These are just a few of the avenues that maybe taken by you and your life coach to generate contentment, fulfillment and happiness in your life. That’s really what you want isn’t it, to be continuously happy each and every day?

How wonderful would that be?

Here’s a few result statistics for using a Life Coach that may interest you:

Coaching Statistics

When asked the value of the coaching investment, 98.5% of coaching clients said their investment in a coach was well worth the money.

The outcomes that clients most often attribute to their coaching are:

• A higher level of self-awareness: 67.6% – Smarter goal-setting: 62.4%
• A more balanced life: 60.5% – Lower stress levels: 57.1%
• Self-discovery: 52.9% – More self-confidence: 52.4%
• Improvement in quality of life: 43.3% – Enhanced communication skills: 39.5%
• Project completion: 35.7% – Health or fitness improvement: 33.8%
• Better relationships with boss or co-workers: 33.3% – Better family relationships: 33.3%
• Increased energy: 31.9% – More fun: 31.9%
• More income: 25.7% – Stopped a bad habit: 25.7%
• Change in career: 24.3% – More free time: 22.9%
• Increased profitability of business: 17.1% -Started new business: 12.9% – Empowered employees: 11.0%

This information is an excerpt from the International Coaching Federation’s (ICF) Client Survey. © Copyright 1997-2000 – International Coach Federation.

Statistics are great to have but the true worth of your coaching experience will be determined on how involved and dedicated you are to real change in your life.

We all have dreams of wealth, happiness, and grandeur but when it comes down to breaking out of that comfort zone we live in worry, doubt, and fear rear their ugly heads up to sling procrastination throughout or minds.

Here you must be strong and determined that nothing will steal the joy, fulfillment, and happiness you will gain by having a life coach at your side.

I’m a Happiness Coach Practitioner actively engaged in the art, discipline, and profession of empowering people to prosper and I see every day how the cruelty of the negative mindset not only stops individuals in their tracks but destroys their hopes and desires to live a better life.

It’s saddening when you know each and every one of us has the power within us to be great and prosperous if we would only allow the sleeper in us to be awakened.

With all being said and done it is your responsibility to start living and loving life to the fullest on your own terms the way it was meant to be, Plain and Simple!

So, get off your butt and fine the right Life Coach for yourself, just kidding!

Seriously though, there are some outstanding coaches here at Life Coach Spotter and I can’t think of any reason not to start looking right now, right here.

Good Hunting My Friend and Keep On Smiling Your Life Depends On It, Really …

Pappi

The post Coaching Empowers You To Prosper Triggering Happiness In Your Life appeared first on Life Coach Spotter.

If emotional eating was just a lack of discipline then it could be controlled by following carefully calculated diets and strict meal plans but this doesn’t happen. Emotional eating occurs as a response to certain triggers and the majority of the time, we don’t know what it is that sets us off.

Psychologists have narrowed down the following 5 factors that contribute to emotional eating:
 

Unawareness

Do you ever eat without realizing that you’re still eating? This often happens when you stopped eating because you were full, yet you continue picking at the leftovers while note being completely conscious of it. You’ll find yourself doing this when you have something else on your mind, something else that is troubling and you unknowingly turn to food to suppress the rising conflict.
 

Food as a source of pleasure

There are many people out there who would claim that food is there sole source of pleasure and willingly indulge in it to wash away their worries. After a tough day at work, they help themselves to a tub of ice cream or order a juicy burger to eat as they watch TV by themselves on the weekends. Sugary foods and fatty foods, in particular, are favorites for indulgence. The reason for this is that such foods release opioids in our brains. Opioids are found in drugs such as heroin, cocaine and in other narcotics. They tend to be addictive and have a calming effect on your brain which is why your state of mind improves after you’ve had a chocolate, ice-cream etc. A lot of people rely on such foods to give them instant comfort but it isn’t the healthiest way of dealing with your problems – food should never be your only source of pleasure.
 

Inability to deal with emotions/problems

When you cried as a young child, there’s a good chance your parents comforted you with some candy. Your pediatrician did the same. From a very young age, we’re conditioned to soothe ourselves with food and it isn’t surprising that so many of us do the same when we’re older as well. All emotional eaters turn to food to give themselves a temporary relief from their problems. Whenever the temporary high you got from eating disappears, your problems will still be there unless you do something about them.
 

Body Hate

The logical thing to do when you’re unhappy with how heavy you’ve gotten is to watch what you eat and drop those extra pounds, right? But this doesn’t always happen. Numerous studies have shown that overweight individuals resort to eating even more after they begin getting stressed about their weight. The negativity that comes with fat-shaming very rarely inspires change. Instead, it pushes many individuals into a downwards spiral where they begin believing that nothing can be done about their weight and continue making poor diet choices.
 

Physiology

If you haven’t been eating or sleeping properly your brains sends signals to your body, telling it to fuel itself. This manifests as cravings, causing you to eat more than you’re required to.

Emotional eating is unhealthy. Your over-reliance on food could send you to the path of obesity and depression.

Here’s how you can avoid emotional eating:
 

Deal with your problems

Yes, it’s easier said than done but you chowing down on food unnecessarily isn’t making your problems go away. Take a moment to accept your problems. Know that it is alright to feel scared, angry and sad but then think of how you’re going to deal with the problem. You may need to take some time to give yourself some clarity. Instead of finishing a bucket of ice-cream to give you that temporary relief, go to the gym instead. Exercise is a much better way to help you release tension and soothing your brain.
 

Don’t make food your only source of pleasure

Food can’t be your only source of happiness, it just can’t. Find yourself a hobby or a group of friends that bring you joy. Having a hobby helps you release some of the stress. Sharing your problems with loved ones and getting their advice/perspectives on your problems will always benefit you. You can’t run to food the moment you need something to cheer you up.
 

Eat and sleep on time

Emotional eaters do not eat on time which is why they are inclined to overeat. You need to be eating on time so your body knows that you aren’t in a state of starvation which causes you to overeat later. If you starve and then binge, your body becomes efficient in storing fat because it feels that you will be starving yourself later.

You need to be getting enough sleep so your body doesn’t turn to food in order to keep itself awake, so get yourself to bed on time and stop it with all those late nights on your phone/laptops.

Emotional eating may not seem like that big a problem but it can be if you make it a habit. It’s alright to indulge every now and them but once you make it a habit it can be tough to break and have a very negative impact on your health.

The post The Reasons Behind Emotional Eating appeared first on Life Coach Spotter.

1. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha

2. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
– Mark Twain

3. “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
– Lucille Ball

4. “If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
– Fred Rogers

5. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. “Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?”
– Brigham Young

7. “Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

8. “Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.”
– Helen Keller

9. “You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
– Louise L. Hay

10. “Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.”
― Tina Fey

11. “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.”
― Rita Mae Brown

12. “The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”
― C. JoyBell C.

13. “Dare to love yourself
as if you were a rainbow
with gold at both ends.”
― Aberjhani

14. “To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they’re blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful, too.”
― Victoria Moran

15. “One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.”
― Shannon L. Alder

16. “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”
― Charles Bukowski

17. “The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”
― Steve Maraboli

18. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance”
– Oscar Wilde

19. “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”
– William James

20. “You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.”
– Diane Von Furstenberg

21. “It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.”
― Eartha Kitt

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