Life has always been interesting to me...

A Night Like This...

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 21:48:00 +0000

There was a time when I wanted to see you sleeping. I wanted to see how you look like in sleep. Do you smile or frown? I wished to be transported to the place where you are and feel the life you are living. Now that we are married and stay together and you sleep next to me, still I want to know how you sleep. What a strange desire it is. I snuggle into your arms before going to sleep and hold you tight. You just cannot sacrifice your sleep. You need an eight hours sleep. I don’t need that. I want to talk and talk and look up at you while doing so. Seems there will be no end to this yearning. Ours may not be an inspiring or even an extraordinary love story, but story it is. The one which I would love to live till my last breath...

With age and passing phases of life priorities change but mine is still you. I always wait for that one moment which you will live only for me. Only one moment, that can be even of a single second too. But it has to come once in my lifetime lest I’ll feel wasted on this earth.

I can see you from here, sleeping sound with no idea of what I am doing or thinking. You are a loving husband, doting father fulfilling his conjugal duties. You want to give a bright and secured future to us. And, no doubt you will. I know you can do anything and everything to make us happy and contented. I feel, you miss few small moments of happiness which I had always wanted to share with you.

Why your struggle seems like an obsession to me?
Why you are too distant from me? Why is it that I feel I cannot reach you?
Why is it that you listen and yet not listen to what I say? It wreathes my heart with Pain.

I feel that I am losing grasp on reality and you are ‘The Reality’ to me.

My Baby-Tanushya

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 09:35:00 +0000

Now, I understand what beautiful phase motherhood is after becoming a mother. I have always understood the meaning of the term and respected its importance but never ever I had felt its gravity like I do now. She has my eyes but stole brown colour of pupils from her dad. She has my smile but chubby cheeks like her father. She has brown hair like me. She is the essence of our life. We were merely two beings living in the world and she gave meaning to us. She defines what we are and has made our life wonderful. If you want to see her million dollars smile then greet her good morning and you will marvel at the response she gives.

She is a quick learner. A few lovely achievements in her kitty:

v She has learned how to sit and can do so without support for 2 minutes and then a jerk and a quick call for mammaJ.

v While bathing Tashu takes support of bath tub and doesn’t allow me to help her. Earlier she used to give me lots of trouble but now she loves bathing, the splash of cold water on her body.

v She holds her bottle while taking feed. Getting independent hunh!

v She talks and talks in her own beautiful language. And, the sound of her voice is a sweet melody to my ears.

v She loves watching CN & sports channels. When a commentator gets close to the screen she feels they are talking to her and starts giggling and kicking her legs in excitement.

v She has learned how to change position and turn with the call of her name. I never find her in same place on bed where I tucked in.

Tashu is not a child who gives nightmares to parents. She is silent and happy-go-lucky kid. Give her toys, switch on Cartoon Network and she is busy. I can do my work then! She never sleeps sound. Even a slight noise wakes her up and that pains me a lot.

At times I wonder how much I love her and have simply forgotten all the pains I endured during caesarean. One thing I cannot tolerate is Tashu crying. This doens’t means I give or would give into her wrong demands. Of course, every mother knows and understands what is right and wrong for kids.

Just watch her sleeping and you will fall in love with her. She smiles, frowns, and makes faces during sleep. A beauty my eyes never be-held before!

It's wonderful to see your child grow. Registering her every gesture, expression, and movement in your mind and living every moment time and again is so blissful. Deepak usually gets late to office which has become a norm now since last one year. But, these days his daughter's smiles & giggles doesn't let him get ready for his office. We used to fight over his laptop and Internet fixation all the time after office hours. Now, seems Tashu has taken over this mania and he gets too engrossed in her little games of snatching cell phone, pulling Tata Photon out of the jack, kicking his laptop. Thanks to her!

To simply put into words, this transition in my life-

"Gar firdaus, ruhe zamin ast, hamin asto, hamin asto, hamin asto."- If there is a heaven on earth, it's here, it's here, it's here.

Okay, now I have to stop typing as Tanushya Sharma is struggling to get hold of laptop and give her autograph on FB lol!

There will be more of Tanushya (Tashu), parenting (as I learn), motherhood, and babies till then ciao!

A Hope!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 11:01:00 +0000

Rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. This is what I try to remind myself. It is usually when I gear my broken and torn wings together to take a flight afresh. But, a small jolt of wind threatens me. It stops me from coming out of my shell and face the world. It seems my senses have become too sensitive to respond to the outside world. It’s been long since I am in the closet.

I failed. No, it would be better to say, I have failed myself utterly when there was the chance of winning the game, just a step away. I could have achieved a lot but deterred myself and wasted my creative energy in pining and cribbing. Now, time is gone far beyond imagination and I cannot stretch my hands to get even some fractions of it. Yet, the flame is still burning, deep within the heaps of ashes. Can you see the flickering light, it’s me still breathing. Yet, hope has not deserted me completely.

I’ll rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.

An Introspection- Desperately Required!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 06:26:00 +0000

What do we understand by boredom? Is it a phase when you feel your senses are going numb and you have just nothing to do and think of? Or maybe it is a moment when you are not ready to come out of that hard coated shell of yours which shuns you entirely from the world of creativity. This is what boredom is for me. A forced deprivation from life around!
What I have understood so far is that nobody can ever be bored without initiating the process by them. You stop doing what is good and interesting just because of one reason or the other and then call life a damned job. Isn’t it? If this is not the case with you then maybe I am being too subjective. This is what happens with me. A slight incident or the accident in my doings may cause me to land into a state of utter depravity. I stop feeding myself with the new thoughts and ideas. Shun myself from the world around and people. Start hating everything and despising the very fact of being alive.

Negative thoughts and complexes have become most likeable sport these days. And, the fact is that I know what all is happening with me but there is something that’s stopping me from coming out of this utter delusional state of my mind. I am prone to all this forced exile from both the actual and virtual world. I start doubting people whom I love; I seek attention of everyone around me like a kid who doesn’t want its mother to leave its side and be a company to someone else. It’s horrible to know everything about yourself!

I hated this side of my character always but find it impossible to evade this behavioural flaw in me. At this age it’s still tolerable but what if I grew up into a frustrated old hag later in life. No wonder!

Banana Ice-Cream!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 07:18:00 +0000

All of you may be wondering what have become of me. Where I have lost? But, here, from past one year i.e. during entire term of my pregnancy I was busy cooking and baking. Lo! What I have discovered is a new me- a complete homemaker who loves cooking and hosting dinners and lunches for kith and kin. Prior marriage I never put myself into the shoes that leads one to kitchen but seems these days I wear those shoes only.

I wanted to make some ice-cream for Deepak, found one good recipe on Google which was simple and a quickie too for a mother of 5 month baby (who is always running short of time). So, here is the recipe for you-

Banana ice-cream- peel and put four bananas into the grinder. Add a spoon of corn flour and some lime juice into it. Grind them well. Keep a steel container in the freezer and let the frost surface on it for 10 minutes. Pour the mixture from the grinder into the container and keep it back into the freezer. After 40-45 minutes you will find a crust of ice. Break it with hand beater and beat it until smooth again. Keep it back to the freezer and repeat the same process after 30 minutes. Leave it for 30 more minutes in the freezer. Scoop it with style and serve!

A Prisoner Of Apprehensions!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 10:58:00 +0000

Sitting on a hospital bed and looking out of the glass window pane. Seems , I am closed in a glass chamber built on the top of some hill.
There is no sign of baby coming via normal labor pains. I am sacred of cesarean.
Injections, tabs, drip, and now 50-50 chances of C-Section... What's all this going on? They say, I'll forget all the pain once I have my baby in my arms.

Day 1 In Hospital

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 08:17:00 +0000

Hospital is one of the most detested places in the entire world for me. Yet, I am forced to be here for some time now. Because one of the most beautiful thing is going to happen here... my child! I just hope things go well since doc says I won't be having normal labour i.e. have to undergo induced labour. Artificial pains would be given right from this evening 5:00pm -9:00 pm. and then second dose of the injection would be given in morning 9:00 am till 12:00 pm. if still no labour pains then doc would go for C-section.

I just hope Labour gets started on its own and I get spared from Caesarean.

Mum and Deepak are here with me constantly. I just am so happy to have such a doting and caring husband.

If I haven't had sound sleep from last 4 months, then it's him too has who has accompanied my sleepless nights talking and jesting with me, cooking for me.

Mum is really scared because she had bad experiences of caesarean and it's very obvious that no mother would ever sit patiently while her daughter is undergoing severe pains and troubles.

I had never been injected as per my knowledge before marriage (except those blood donations I did during college). And, now, I’m being injected many a times in a single day. Tauba!

Doctor Bindu Garg, of Neelkanth Infertility Centre (multi-super speciality hospitals) is a wonderful lady. Very frank and explained all the issues and complicacies related to my delivery in a very good manner. Deepak is contented and not scared anymore.

Day 1

I had been injected with Drotin so that false pains get subsided and true labor pains get their way. But, that was of no avail so I had been given two injections of Buscopan last night. I had to face terrible cramps in night but those subsided in morning. Duh! L

Chulbul Added To Our Family!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 05:49:00 +0000

We are an average earning family with not much of the financial resources to back up in the times of dire necessities. We are going through financial crunch with upcoming baby expenses. Yet, we love to feed a stray dog without any reservations. We have kind of adopted him. It’s just that instead of giving him home to sleep, we allow him to stay wherever he likes but come to us at the time of meals. We regularly provide him with three meals a day like we do for ourselves.

My husband, who earlier used to be afraid of Dogs, has now grown fond of this one particular. He has named him Chulbul and first thing that he does after coming back from office is to meet Chulbul, give him his dinner, walk with him in during late evening hours for some time and then come back to have his own dinner. It’s lovely to see that how this dog has become a part of our life. We just cannot have our meals without feeding him first. He is a nature’s child so we don’t want him to be tied to a collar and chain instead it’s good to see that he is free unlike those pets who are chained and wait for their owners to take them out for their daily ablutions. We play with him, feed him, love him, and I even make sure that he has teaks and lice free body.

We cannot offer food for all the stray animals in our locality but I am contented that we are doing our bit. May be, with God’s grace on us we would be able to offer a good shelter and regular meals to as much stray animals that come in our view.

There is also one woman in Gurgaon DLF Phase III, who every morning feeds almost all the stray dogs she passes by. God bless her and help her in her endeavor of providing food to poor stray animals.

Ø I so much wish to see people turning vegetarian one day!

Ø Be kind to poor animals

Ø Stop using animals a guinea pig

Ø Skinning animals to save one’s skin

First Year Of My Marriage!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:06:00 +0000

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

GENESIS: 2:24

We have been married for a year now and it seems to me as we have always been together in this relationship. There had never been first sight, first meeting, engagement, or marriage. We have just been together since ages. Love is what makes you blind, this is what people have to say. Seems love is something that matures you as an individual and make you know various facets of your own personality that goes ignored hitherto until or unless you are wedded to a person. Only then you come to know yourself in a very different manner. Your partner is the one who makes you learn and know life in many wonderful ways and then together you create a beautiful world to live in.

In this brief period of our conjugal relation, he has made me fall in love with him many times. Yes, this is what a marriage does to you- makes you fall in love with the same person again and again; sometimes for several reasons and many a times just for nothing.

I loved him so we got married. Now, I cannot imagine a moment without him. I need him all the time. It doesn’t matter what he is busy into but his presence makes me comfortable and lends a solace that nobody and nothing can ever.

Now, this first year of my married life made me know certain facts, brought out my varied potentials on fore, and made me understand Deepak & myself in different light

Ø He is not exactly what he had been before marriage in all the manners. Telephonic conversations or online chats never allow you to know the real person behind the chat id. It is when you live together you get to know each other better.

Ø He is not as calm as he seems to be. Not only I came to know of real him but I got rendezvous with my hidden self. I never knew how intolerant I am of traditional norms that bound this society. Of course I had always been a rebel against social norms yet never flared up so intensely the way I usually get after marriage. May be I am wrong or maybe he too goes out of his way to make me do things which I detest the most in the world. But, at the end of the day he knows this very well, I do what he wishes me to do. I just want him to consider that I too can be right at times.

Ø It’s not all about negative things. I never knew I can love cooking so much which I used to detest before marriage. I never cooked at my home; never my mum had any leisure & pleasure to savor the food I make. Now, I cook well rather I love cooking so much. Usually, I don’t approve of everyone’s eating manners but I love watching over him –the way he enjoys food.

Ø He too gets angry which I thought could not be imagined even. But, he knows how to handle his temper which I have never known in my case. (He usually calms down when he sees that he won’t be able to cool down my anger, lol! Cunning chap!)

Ø He opts for midway and I being an extremist wants wither this way or that.

Ø He gives preference to honor due for an age or a relation whereas I arbitrate on the basis of what is right and what is wrong. No compensation for age or the relation.

Ø I live in a moment and he plans for future. He worries for future to such an extent that he is letting his present pass by. He is not enjoying life. I want him to live for the moment sometimes, the way I do. You never know when “the bell tolls for thee…” so live every moment of your life. Because after ten years from now he will be regretting for the time he lost wondering and worrying so much. He will look at his matronly-matured-wife and feel sad wish “I would have given her best of my youthful days.J”

Ø He is a caring husband who has never left my side even in my darkest of moods. He endured all my mood swings with a smile only fuming over them sometimes.

Ø He is mature and not impulsive like me.

Ø He has misunderstood me in so many matters and is reluctant to consider my point of view. Despite this foretasted fact we come to a conclusion that reconciles us.

Ø We both share love and concern for stray animals. And, this is something I like best in him.

I Like, Adore, & Love-

Ø I like it when he says he cannot imagine his life without me.

Ø I like it when he clicks photographs of me when I am asleep. Sometimes I am wide awake yet pretend to be sleeping because I love him watching over me.

Ø I like it when he enjoys his meals. This is what I promised him before marriage that “I’ll ensure you have good food every day.”

Ø I simply adore him when I feel that he needs me as much as I do need him.

Ø I like his honesty, ingenuity, care & concern.

Note Bene-

Ø I hate it when you make background music while having meals and do so intentionally all the more to tease me.

Ø I don’t like when you give silly reasons to prove yourself right and say things that hurts me a lot.

Ø I detest him letting people take advantage of him unnecessarily. Especially when those situations could be avoided and averted.

The Verse Is Dedicated To You-

Aasman mein jab tak sitare rahenge

Hum ek dusre ke sahare rahenge

Nazdikiyan yah on duriyaan

Bas pyaar hi rahega darmiyaan

Rahon mein nahin dhup ka ghum

Thandi chaya dega hardum

Hamara yeh pyaar bhara rishta

· I have revised the last line of the verse which was: “pavitra rishta/tere mere man ka”

We are soon going to be Mum & Dad, and we will always try to be best parents. Our child would be the fruit of love that we have for each other and we will ensure its safety and good upbringing. Amen!

I Laughed A While Today!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 12:03:00 +0000

I was looking for Continental breakfast recipes, then I went on searching fatless recipes and came up with something wonderful (not the recipe but the title)- "Fatless Ma ki dal" recipe by Tarla Dalal.
I read it this way—Fatless Ma-ki- dal

Are We Still Humans?

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 10:18:00 +0000

Every one of us has once in our life read stories of speaking and walking animals, like that from Panchatantra, Folk Tales, Aesop’s Fables, & C. These simple stories, even today transcend us in to the make-believe world where animals and birds are as animated as we are. They being referred to as ‘he’/ ‘she’ not as ‘it.’

Do you still remember how as a child we used to be concerned about little creatures; we had a strong belief that these mute creatures do talk. As we grow older, innocence forsakes us and a cloak of maturity calling itself as ‘civilization’ covers us from head to toe.

I have observed that this so-called ‘civilization’ is in fact a slow and steady process of dehumanizing us, making us immune to the cries of these innocent animals that are far better as companions in comparison to fellow humans.

A few months back, while my car was waiting for Green signal at ITO, I noticed a pair of bull hooked at the roadside blinking their eyes to the flashing lights from all over. I still cannot forget those eyes, those perfect serene eyes, looking around, people walking, standing, waiting, running, stuck up in traffic, yet free unlike them who were tied in a corner, insecure if some vehicle steps on their hooves.

I just couldn’t desist myself from wondering what those bulls might be thinking about. Might be wondering, what kind of preposterous animals we human are, who when gifted with such power of reason, yet are insensible and insensitive towards poor creatures who walk on ‘all fours’ and have no ‘free-will’ of theirs to exercise.

Agreed, animals and birds have no speech to communicate like us, but they have language of their won which is more of an understanding, sympathetic, and concerned. Those bulls with a rope tight around their neck made such a tragic site- swaying their heads as any car or truck or some bike rushed past them.

What, if instead of bulls, two men would have been tied the way same as those bulls were? How myopic our vision is. We have so soon forgotten those days when a man used to pull the rickshaw cart in post independence era.

Bullock carts carrying cement, bricks, iron rods, with a man sitting with a whip in his hands, hitting the buffalo or the ox so harsh making it jump and run with speed. Is this what we call being human? Humans have become oblivion of what it is to be humane. We need sympathy, kindness, gratitude but we are too poor to endow same to the fellow living beings.

We have a hierarchy to living world where humans are allotted the top most level, but do we really deserve this. It’s shameful for us to behave so inhumanly with poor animals who have no human language to complain of the pain they endure in the name of service.

My recent visit to Vaishno Devi shocked me all the more. We are so religious and I believe almost every one of us wish to pay visit to Ma Vaishno Devi Darbar once in our life time. But, seems, people have made it a fashion too. Youngsters who are strong and healthy enough to carry burden of small kids on their back themselves climb on the back of poor ponies to cover the distance of 12 kms high up in the mountains to reach Darbar. And, to my shock they justify it by saying, this is how we give employment to poor people (owners of pony) and help them in eking their life. Is this the only way to provide means of employment?

I am strictly against use of animals for travelling, fashion products, and in food.

To climb those high mountains leading to Vaishno Devi (J & K), people using horses/pony is a commonplace thing. It was so horrible to see men whipping ponies to climb faster on hills.

On the way back we (me & my husband, Deepak) found a pony injured and lying in the corner. We were approximately 10 kms above the land. I tried giving him water, but the poor soul was dying and nobody cared to stop and report the officials there. We somehow found the helpline number and called security to come to aid. To my husband’ call they replied, “Why are you bothering Sir, let it be. Somebody, later in night will throw it in nearby pit." And, the line got disconnected.

I was so shocked at the response we got. Why we humans are so barbarous. Don’t we have heart? We cry sitting in front of TV watching an emotional scene. Where this sense of feelings and emotions does goes when we inflict cruelty on poor creatures?

Warding off this issue saying, “It’s Kalyug, nothing can be done!” is just rubbish which we keep brewing in our mind.

I would like to appeal to Vaishno Devi Management Committee to please put stop to such cruelties. It is heinous to bully a living being just so as to meet our needs.

An Atlas of Impossible Longing-A Review!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 13:37:00 +0000

It seems I’m pregnant since ages; carrying baby in my womb from times unknown. Reading and writing has been stalled since third month of my pregnancy. Forget about reading even picking a book seems such a tiresome activity to me. But, now from past few days, I am inclined towards my book shelf once again. Want to read some engrossing ones.

For a start I picked ‘An Atlas of Impossible Longing’ by Anuradha Roy. I read it, though it took almost 3 days to complete this novel but worth it. I bought a year back when I was still an unmarried careless girl who loved picking & buying books of all kinds on every outing.

Haa! Loved it! It’s an absorbing saga of a family, characters, land, and above all river where attachment and detachment both followed a painful music.

Retrospective look of the protagonist Mukunda leads us to a poignant tale of love, separation, breach of trust, and love of land. Beautifully woven is the archeological concept of digging earth and finding out the remains of past that’s deadened long time back. Similar is the life of characters of the novel, they keep shuttling in& out of each other’s memory strands, pulling and dragging their destinies together.

It’s the story of:

Mukunda is casteless, orphan, with no religion and so, is Bakul, motherless, nearly orphan, and the heiress of an ancestral mansion which is reclaimed by the river that flooded it almost.

Mrs. Barnum, an Anglo Indian widow of a British man, living with a blame of her husband’s murder on her head. Her eccentricities, lemon sherbet, cakes, and sandwiches form the secluded but momentarily pleasant world of her, Bakul, and Mukunda.

Kananbala- grandmother to Bakul, matriarch of 3 Dulganj Road, becomes a nasty swearing old woman who doesn't even realize the impact of words she is hurling at other people. Her friendship with Mrs. Barnum is one another oath of secrecy similar to that of Mukunda & Bakul

Nirmal Babu- is the younger son of Amulya and Kananbala, father to Bakul, and takes over the responsibility of rearing up orphan boy Mukunda after his father’s death who kept the boy in an orphanage on his expense. Self-centered, absorbed in the meticulous details of ancient edifices and architecture, the stories behinds them- this is how he has been with his daughter as well. Left wreathed in pain of separation after his wife’s death he abandons the home, daughter who was his responsibility, and the society. Life and home reclaims his presence back.

Eccentricity, abandonment, self-destruction, intensified silence, emotional drama with a feeling of detachment is all pervasive in the intricately woven narrative of this poignant novel.

I don’t know whether I did justice with the novel in reviewing it thus or not. But, I loved it. Read it & own it!

Resident Evil: Afterlife- A Movie Review

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 13:41:00 +0000

If you haven’t seen the previous parts, then bunk the idea of going for Resident Evil: Afterlife. Because you would not be able to catch up with the events trail. However, if it is 3D effect you are looking forward too, then GO AHEAD!

It is a science-horror fiction film with absolute technical expertise displayed in the action scenes and the latest 3D effect.

I know, this type of movie (Zombie) is not my cuppa tea yet, a 3D experience was must and the completion of the series I had been following from the first.

Now, following from the last part, you will see Alice searching for survivors along with her battalion of clones. Her battle with Umbrella Corporation is at its high point. She searches intensely for the survivors to put them to safety. In this quest, she reaches Los Angeles with an old friend of hers to find a city raged over by Undead. Alice along with few comrades tries to escape to Arcadia(ship, which later revealed as the base camp of Albert Wesker and a part of his trap for Alice) which however she doesn’t realize was in fact a trap by Albert Wesker. Albert tells Alice that only her DNA has been compatible with the t-virus so he needs her and none else.

Watch the movie to unravel what happens to Alice and her friends. Do they survive or die?

Quick Bites

Genre: Science-Action-Horror

Director:Paul. W. S. Anderson

Cast: Milla Jovovich (Alice), Ali Larter (Claire), Shawn Roberts (Albert), Wentworth Miller (Chris), Boris Kodjoe (Luther).

Dabang- A Movie Review!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 11:13:00 +0000

Dabang, a typical Salman Khan genre, you won’t get disappointed. Even if the movie won’t make it to any of the award ceremony but it has its fans following. Salman khan as an inspector Chulbul Pandey did fantastic job.

Deepak is smitten by ‘Munni badnam hui’ bug, a peppy number indeed and ‘Malaika , thumbs up to you for dazzling the song!’ Also, the title track ‘hud hud dabang dabang’ lets you tap feet with the beats. Romantic and the hummable ‘tere mast mast do nain’, i am sure that we would love to hum this song even after ten years.

Arbaaz Khan as Makhi was a perfect choice. Dimple Kapadia Disappointed me. It was more of an overacting that she did so, no points for Dimple. Sonakshi is fair enough as a debutante.

Salman’s dance on the ringtone was hilarious.

If you are looking for some meaning, then bunk it. There is no storyline, just the rajni-ishtyle action. Stunts are worth watching and Sallu bhai was fantabulous doing them.

There was no need of Manjrekar in the movie. Sonakshi could have done with her brother only. Anyway, we cannot teach good lessons to Bollywood directors.

Quick Bites

Director: Abhinav Kashyap

Producer: Arbaaz Khan

Music Composer: Sajid-Wajid

Release Date: 11^th September 2010, Eid-ul-fitr

My Views On "A fine Balance"-Rohinton Mistry

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 10:21:00 +0000

First things first, this is my first read of Rohinton Mistry and till date last as I am still not out of its deep impression.

When I begun reading this novel 'A Fine Balance' by Rohinton Mistry, I must say it’s voluminous; I was put off at the onset. I thought, maybe it deals with some stereotype story of surrender or renunciation, family life or love or injustice. But, soon I felt it’s impossible to put it down without knowing what exactly is happening. Who these tailors are and who is Dina Dalal, why is she keen on taking in a tenant?

I completed the entire novel in a day, might have taken too many hours as while reading I felt like going back to certain paragraphs, incidents, and details time and again. Story is set in emergency times of Mumbai when almost every second was a challenge for the inhabitants of this huge city. The very existence and ownership of their life was in question. There were masters including landlords to rent collectors to beggar masters.

When I brought "A fine Balance" home, was too dicey whether it would be an interesting read or not. But, to my surprise the book overwhelmed me right from the beginning. It gripped my all attention and I ended up completing it in a single day. I simply had no idea what would be the next scene in the line. As in opening it, flipping through few pages, getting the feel, shut it, and return it back without having read even a single line. What a volume, it seemed to me, hell! I really was wondering whether to read it or not. It's been long I read such voluminous novel of some 600 pages.

Thankfully, I read it and have no regrets whatsoever. Rohinton Mistry for sure knows how to catch pulse of the readers. He has a genuine approach towards handling human emotions and connecting it with the social milieu people are in.

One starts living the whole experience narrated in the sheets of paper. Once over with reading you realize how much struggle it was for a common man to understand the changes whirling around him.

There is no one main character/protagonist in the novel. Entire novel circles around its four main protagonist including Dina Dalal, a widow eking her life alone, A college student (Maneck) messed up with his ambitions in big city, two tailors, uncle and nephew(Om & Ishwar) struggling through poverty. Mistry has traversed all the subjects in his story right from the government corruption, atrocities, poverty, life of a single woman, to human weaknesses.

My personal opinion to it is: May be Rohinton Mistry wants to say, “this is what life is; no bed of roses. You have equal share of every emotion.”

Under certain adverse circumstance we despise each other and there are also moments when we find solace in each other’s foolishness and kindness. This is how we humans are- a mere projection of momentary expression of swinging emotions.

He brought home the point that a common man has nothing to do with civil wars, political upheavals, and religious strikes. These all are the schemes of government to exercise its control and autonomy over the folks. Rightly put into words by Dina Dalal:

"Government problems - games played by people in power. It doesn't affect ordinary people like us."

Mistry has an art of characterization. He portrayed Dina Dalal, a strong woman, surviving in a big city, hiring tailors, beginning her own enterprise at such an age yet she had moments of weakness where her mind is clouded with fears unknown and doubts. The bonding between tailors and Dina flourishes later in the novel culminating into an everlasting friendship.

In those tough times of Emergency when every hope dwindled down to ashes and no effort of an ordinary prove to be of any help, compassion, love, kindness, and companion ship between few ordinary people still remained. This is the magnum opus of the human emotions and faith.

I would like to conclude this with my understanding of the novel which is

A fine balance- a balance, a dividing line in between hope and despair.

"What was there for anyone to laugh about in this wretched place?"

Hope, There Is still!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:04:00 +0000

Every one of us, some time in our life needs a room of our own, a space which we can call our personal one. This is one place in the entire world where you can sit unnoticed and brood over dark matters welling up with in the cores. It helps us come out of those insipid thoughts and disturbances that have been hindering peace from flowing smoothly in our daily life.

I have been planning a session of introspection from past many years. In this planning, whole seven years have been dwindled down to a pit of unfathomable depths from where it’s not easy for me to retrace my steps. Even I have forgotten what foot I placed where. Life is an undecipherable maze of stories from where it is really difficult to figure out what incident led to which.

What I can remember is this unquenchable thirst for this personal space which I have lost, know not where. I always wanted to live away from home which I had never been allowed to. I tried my level best to get admission into some college out of Delhi so that I could get a chance to live alone. My dad and mum just couldn’t let me go anywhere without them. God, they don’t trust people as if theirs is the only daughter in the entire universe. Crap! If I plan for a New Year trip, Dad recalls some incident that had took place sometime back with girls who went to Mumbai to spend New Year, being harassed and assaulted publicly. Goodness! I mean why do they always recall such horrible incidents and why can’t they see several girls shuttling to and fro states for their studies and job. The point is why they only think of negative side and not the positive one. If I want to go for an outing, then mum says do whatever you want to once you get married and that too only when your husband allows you to do. This all freaks me out!

Life’s circumstances have imposed a situation in which I cannot even have a room to call mine. Though, shifting to Gurgaon with husband recently has brought about some considerable changes in life. I have also recently bought a book rack for my drawing room corner and I love it.

Now, it seems life is coming back to normal track slowly & gradually. Hopefully, I can draw myself into things that interest me.

I don’t understand politics, or even economics; forget about sports. Is it horrible to live thus? People, I see have number of issues to discuss and direct at and I have none except few of my notions on subjects that might not be of interest to everyone. I read books, write on them, save the drafts on my laptop’ desktop and forget about them. Never ever I have made those drafts to the end. Everything is so incomplete in life, me too!

Though, I am harping on one particular event that may bring back the fervor of good old days when I was all vibrant with fresh thoughts and loved to venture into anything new and adventurous. I just pray that I get this last chance to complete first what I left owing to my own inconsistencies. I left my post graduation studies in middle as I couldn’t just concentrate on studies owing to certain miserable situation that came up and ruined all my dreams. I became too hopeless and resigned to what came my way. May be I can resume my studies once again and regain that passion for learning and creating back.

Keeping fingers Crossed!

Ramblings Now & Then!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:54:00 +0000

Sometimes, you really want to know all those not so significant questions about ‘living’ per se. What am I doing; for what reason I am here; what’s the purpose of my being alive.... but, all these rhetorical monologues gets rebounded, leaving me aghast at my own stupidity of questioning myself thus. What do I do then?

Often repeated, clichéd sentences forms up in my mindscape, which usually are empty with no life in sight. I procrastinate every decision of my life saying, let it be later; when would ‘later’ become ‘now’?

Raat dhalne lagi, bhuj gaye hain diye

Raah takte hain hum, jane kiske liye?

An Evening Plus Night Out

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:22:00 +0000

Had, indeed a good evening last Saturday. Watched movie, Rajneeti with Deepak (husband) and his friends, Lamba, Vijayadithan, Irfan (Vijay’ roommate), and Premanjali (Irfan’s gf). After movie, Deepak suggested to dine at some highway dhaba so we all headed to Mesar. Just before 1km before Manesar we found the right one for us. Had, typical khana, dal makhani, shahi paneer, aaloo jeera, dal fry, tandoori roti, and a complimentary salad. It was a refreshing night out for me.

I have been out at such a late hour of the night, after ages. Reached home around 1:45. I had good time (the most awaited and yearned for). First time in my marriage (which is just five months old), I felt immensely satisfied that there is yet more to live for.

Sometimes, in life what you want comes very late to you, when the charm for something is at the verge of vanishing down. Does it hold the same significance or enchantment? For me, Yes! It did!

All For Refreshing Your Memory Cells!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:08:00 +0000

Rajneeti dons the cloak of Mahabharata & Godfather!

Went to watch Rajneeti on Saturday. Worth watching once, to know new role reversals that had taken place in traditional Mahabharata. As, in the latest version, mamaji is no more Shakuni and with Kauravas, rather is in the shoes of Krishna trudging along with Pandavas.

New day Kunti too goes to Karna, our own Ajay Devgan who played Suraj and is a ‘Dalit Savior’ and tries to win over the revolutionary fruit of her ‘love cum rush of emotions during a political parade with Bhaskar Sanyal, Naseeruddin Shah.

The modern day, Duryodhan, Manoj Bajpayee did fabulous and is always frowning, cribbing, breaking down in the bouts of drunken stupor, and coming back riding on the back of his dearest ally Suraj( Karna).

Arjun Rampal has shown his mettle and is faring better and better with the passing time.

Ranbir Kapoor, unlikely Arjun played in background with all his high-tech tools. Maneuvering and scheming, seated at his office chair and devising all those chakravyuhs behind the curtains.

Nana Patekar, the modern times Krishna, though called mama ji, won hearts with his ‘vinamra’ speeches and teachings throughout the movie.

Oh! You might be wondering, Prakash Jha had only Mahabharata to refer to. You are mistaken friends; all the killings done in the movie are after the fashion of Godfather. Like, Michael (Al Pacino) the youngest son of Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando, Godfather), Ranbir Kapoor, youngest of the political clan in Jha’ Rajneeti is considered as a civilian who has nothing to do with Rajneeti and is a scholar. Ranbir (Samar Pratap), at the end like Michael of Godfather avenges for the treatment of his family by Manoj Bajhpayee (Virendra Pratap singh).

Now, you know what Jha intended to do- Re-instill the lessons of Mahabharata & Godfather in your mind.

Don’t look for the plot in my blog. Better, watch it yourself! Didn’t I say, It’s worth watching one time.

To talk on background score, I am not much of a technical sort so I have no qualms with it. I liked ‘Mora Piya Mose Bolat ….’

Prakash Jha did a fabulous work. Indeed!

Don’t look for:

Nasseruddin Shah’s known and to-marvel-at dialogue delivery
Nana Patekar’s scathing remarks
Ajay Devgan’s acting. I found him great in Gangajal & Apahran. He could have been better in this short role as well, but…
Ranbir Kapoor’s stereotype fresher stint & a happy-go-lucky image, which he never seemed to be at all in the entire movie. Seems burdened with the thoughts right from mother’s womb.

Look For:

Nikhila Trikha, who only a few years older than Ranbir and played a mother to him. She has all the accolades from me.
Arjun Rampal shines in his role
Ranbir Kapoor’s decent somber role
Typical Indian rather call it a stereotype image of a Rajneeti

PS: Do not rely on my Review on Rajneeti completely. Go & Watch it yourself!

Back To Blog!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 10:45:00 +0000

On a cheerful note, I would like to let you all know I am back on blogging. Ah! It seems ages have gone past.
1. I am finally settled in Gurgaon with my husband Deepak who has relocated to India from Singapore.
2. I am planning to resume my long lost academics.
3. I am looking forward to my French Classes. (I may visit Alliance Française de delhi )

Come Soon

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:05:00 +0000

Seems no more arrows left in my shaft now. I feel so tired and worn out. A new beginning is being awaited since so long. I’m still to quench my thirst, and they say showers are nowhere in the picture for long now....

I sighed; tear trickled down my cheek listlessly, shorn of its essence. Look, how difficult it is to live with you. Life moves on, yet it doesn’t... really!

It is painful to you as it is to me-to live apart thus. Do come soon.

Love You!

PJ

A Day !

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:43:00 +0000

31^st October 2009

I woke up early today, had to attend creative writing workshop. It was first day and registration was to be done. I tried yet I could not leave home before 8:30 AM. Reached Rajeev Chowk Metro station, and ordered an Espresso coffee in CCD as planned in between me and Mani yester night. He was wee bit late; I can understand how difficult it is to get up early morning for someone who sleeps at 3:00 PM in night. He took coffee and sandwiches and then paid. I wanted to make payment for my coffee but then he went to the cash counter and made the payment so I didn’t feel like fussing over such a trivial issue. I can compensate any other time. We took an auto for Safdar Jung enclave A 1/177. As Mani predicted it was Amrita Kumar’s residence. She is editor-in-chief with Rupa & Co. publishing and with Times of India as well. Her recent novel Damage has shown a recent release. Kavita Bhanot, post graduated in creative writing from Warwick University UK and is working on her first novel amidst the Indian hills of Himachal Pradesh. She is running a guest house too in Himachal Pradesh. We were 10 minutes late but didn’t miss anything significant as such. First, I noticed Kavita and felt Mani would definitely like her and this is what he needs in his girl. There was this exercise of introducing one another instead of ourselves. So, Mani introduced me and me to him. He introduced me as a self-proclaimed best cook who harps on cooking up a good story some day. I was dumb, as usual, the way I always go when amidst strangers. People who are more accomplished then me does not make me feel uneasy, it’s their façade that make me go uneasy. There were ten people in total from almost similar walks of life i.e. commonly from advertising, publishing, and, serious fiction writing. There was this lady, Saloni who claims to have ‘l'art pour l'art'' i.e. ‘Art for art’s sake’ motto in her life. She claims to love writing for the sake of pure writing and then ironically she wants make name and fame en route. There was one Japanese woman who had already published her non-fiction and is about to release her novel soon. There was this chap Manish, worked in some advertising agency and had published a novel already and is about to begin a new one soon. There was this girl graduated from soka (?) in California, which is a Buddhist institution and she wishes to write for the sake of serving purpose of humanity. She wants to spread her message to masses. Then there is this lady who lives in Dwarka, had previously worked as a copywriter. She was talking too high and I felt as if she is trying to project what she is not. There was this writer who climbed he has ‘Obsessive compulsive disorder’ when it comes to writing. He mechanically produced three pages beginning of his new novel when given a writing exercise. There was this me whose voice got choked in her throat when there was a dire urge to speak why she wants to write. I was kind of lost today. It generally happens with me. I am an introvert of a different kind where in I speak a lot in front of people whom I know and go dumb when in public gathering. May be it is a stage fright that makes me go dumb or I may be I am too lost in observing and analyzing others that I lose the count of timer and get startled when my name is called upon. I don’t speak, I know I cannot, I know. I can write, I know. This is how I communicate. This is how interact with the world around. I am a background artist, may be a voiceover artist for my persona.

I left the class in the middle.
I didn’t find it that interesting as I expected it to be.
I am no public speaker and besides I could not speak when summoned to do so. I do not have that ability to mix up with people. Go out on my own and stretch an introductory hand forward. This makes me feel secluded and dejected. I feel as if I am torturing myself.
My wedding issues were clouding my senses.

I am going for shopping tomorrow. In-laws are coming Delhi to purchase Bridal Lehenga for me.

Deepak would be disappointed with me for this escapism. I am sorry, but you know I am tired of all this…

Mani, still have no idea of what I am and what I had been through and why I resort to escape. He showed his resentment; I am sad about it, can’t help. I wish I could tell him what the matter is. Or maybe he can become my friend and know me. He understands but is not touching that understanding; this is what he said last….

Mum doesn’t want me to go for class. She says wedding, at this point should be your priority. And, I know my wedding had always been a priority and finally I am getting married. For her, my attending this workshop was good but not at the cost of my wedding preparations.

Sometimes I wonder what a phony life I have, living wishes, dreams, and desires of those whom I love. Am I losing significant me somewhere?

Emily Maguire’s Taming the Beast- a Dauntless Debut Novel!

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:03:00 +0000

Novel: Taming The Beast

Genre: Psychosexual

Author: Emily Maguire

Publisher: Serpent’s Tail (UK)

Brandl & Schlesinger (Australia)

Publication Year: 2005

“[S]ections of the book pulse with sexual energy…Maguire keeps the prose crackling and the dialogue lively from the first page to the last.” Publishers Weekly

“A thought-provoking and searing first novel.” The Age

I was too hesitant to borrow this novel, Emily Maguire’s Taming the Beast though tempted many times to do so yet couldn’t come up with guts enough to pick the novel. It was because of its cover page that has a woman in nude with forbidden fruit in her hand. Though, it’s not a big deal yet my conscience stung me, I’ll get one another comment from Pinku (brother) if he happens to see this novel with such an image on the cover page in my hand.

This time, I just couldn’t desist myself further. Cover page image attracted my attention so intensely- a female body with no upper portion and slightly shown breasts, her hands placed forward with an apple in between them and a scorpion on her hands. Why her face is not shown? Why she holds apple right in front of her? What she is hiding-her shame or following male dictum? Or is it that she is presenting her new aspirations flamboyant with knowledge of forbidden; daring to be what she wants to be and striding forward to attain what she wants to. caring less for social inhibitions and taboos?

Taming The Beast is not a usual love story; influenced by Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights and Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre it takes love beyond edge. The story blurs the dividing line in between passion and madness.

This novel must not be led into a cursory comment instead should be reviewed in detail. I liked it, though it was hard for me to digest the way sexual violence is being portrayed throughout.

This is a novel that grips your attention right from the start and wades you through tortuous journey of love, passion, and violence entwined and leaves you with a wreathing pain in your heart. The entire length of 320 pages is simply filled with emotional disturbances and sexual frustrations that have capacity to make or break you in the most ultimate fashion. After reading it you feel like crying your heart out. You despise the love portrayed in the novel yet in hearts of hearts you long for such maddening passion to fuel your personal relationship.

I bet you will feel like flinging the book out of your window and never to hold it in your hands but you just can’t do so, so addicted you will be to it. You just cannot chuck the book out of your reach until you get to the end and scrape each and every line printed in the volume.

You will find Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Emily Bronte, and Charlotte Bronte. Maguire gives you all the new perspective of Othello’s “the beast with two backs.” Sarah Clark, the female protagonist of Taming The Beast receives leather-bound volume of Shakespeare’s Othello on her twelfth Birthday. This gift remains the most unforgettable one in the entire space of her life recalling the image of “the beast with two backs.” Her Teacher Daniel Carr tells her the significance and how it is formed which swirls her whole being and overturns her altogether.

What apparently seems as a sexual abuse in fact is a submission to one’s desire of fathoming the depths of human nature in its wild form. What lies underneath the superficial garb of civility is the real you, your animalistic desires that the burden of civilization has hitherto suppressed to an extent that when unleashed fail to recognize its boundaries. It surmounts all the inhibitions, breaks all the barriers, and no more shame remains alive. Human shame has its death there and then when the realization of your inner desires dawns upon your mind.

Sarah Clark, a young bookish 14-year old girl, whose world is restricted to books and her only friend Jamie. To her, seduces her school teacher, Daniel Carr. The story doesn’t end up to the seduction, things get complicated, Carr has sex with her wherever he can pounce upon her and time. Be it a canteen or the car seat; be it sitting or standing every place and every position. She drives him mad, makes him lose control over his senses. Such perversion is intolerable and thus comes a day when Carr’s wife finds out his illicit love and he is forced to leave the town. His leaving cannot be left to normal, he picks her up for the final rendezvous, takes her to a hotel strips her naked and beats the hell out of her-biting, scratching hurting her body and mind, rips her soul out of her body and yet she feels delighted in the fact that it’s him. She loved him. He was the first person who evoked the sense of sexual pleasure in her. He made her realize her sexual instincts. She loved him. Did she really? He introduced her to the beast with two backs- when a male and a female body merged into each other, the image thus formed is of the beast with two backs. (This made me recall a story ‘Lihaf’ by Ismat Chugtai (where a little girl happens to see a shadow of elephant formed by two women in sexual act inside a quilt.)

One may call Taming The Beast a story of sexual abuse which would definitely be a misleading point. Because, Sarah had her consent in every act! She willingly surrenders to her seduction by Daniel Carr. She knowingly treads onto the forbidden grounds which is not at all acceptable in the society.

Daniel Carr leaves her broken, wounded, dumbfounded with scars of his sexual act on her. She goes home all blue black. After he has gone she willingly indulges herself into the world of sex and passion. She throws herself at anyone and everyone. At the heart of her personality lies the motive of self-destruction. Her series of sexual relationships which may last a month long or week or may be just a fortnight shows her blind and insane search of that particular feeling which Carr gave her.

She had no sense of with whom she is going to bed; it’s just that if she has decided she has to, she just cannot resist the urge. Forsaken by her family, raped at friends place, taken by a ridiculous man in the bar, she still manages to handle her and gratify her sex hunger. She manipulates her periods dates so as to ward of the depravity of sex during an entire week.

There is no simplification in her life. It just cannot be sorted out as she was the one leading herself at the verge of destruction. She trusted none, not even to herself except Jamie, her best friend who too misunderstands her when she comes for solace to him; he f—s her and hurts her body. And, she says nothing, because she cannot say no to man when they wanted it and above all when it is Jamie, she could endure any pain. When realization dawns upon Jamie, that he too like other men used her for the gratification of his sexual frustration, commits suicide.

Daniel Carr returns in her life which makes the hell break lose.

Maguire raised questions like what exactly love means. Does it hurt or heals? Is love a way to destruction? Is Sex a way of expressing one’s love? Do sex really elevate you spirit or is the means of self-destruction? And, if Love is a means of happiness then why Sarah feels utterly spent out.

Carr and Sarah indulge into various ways of sex which would not be acceptable or near to imagination of a sane mind. Despite those extremes of sexual violence, yet you want to read till the end. You do not feel indifferent; it all seems so natural to you which however is so unthinkable in real life. But, you accept the scenes of clawing, chaining, beating, cutting, biting, beating, bleeding, blue-black faces, broken nose, and chapped dry lips when you see Sarah and Daniel. This is the kind of past and nature they share with each other. The relationship of binaries- abused and abuser, owner and servant, master and slave, lovers and soul mates. There is no dividing line conspicuous anymore. They just cannot stay apart and staying together they become destructive. Whom should we consider as a predator-Carr? Was Sarah being forced?

She felt herself complete with him-merging of two souls and two bodies into one another. They made perfect beast with two backs. She delighted on seeing their reflection thus in the mirror. Taming The Beast is really a disturbing story. It kept me awake for several nights, gaping at the ceiling-can such love be possible? There is one thing I am sure of is- Love makes you bolder enough even to kill and die. It drives you mad.

The story of Taming The Beast implores the visceral chemistry of mind and soul struck with utterly wild sexual passion for each other.

Carr returns to Sarah who has had f—-d many men till date. He knew what kind of hold he has on her asks her to surrender herself completely to him. Sarah on finding this proposition too difficult as she couldn’t stop herself from getting indulged sexually takes time longer than expected to decide over the matter. Carr takes her to his apartment and the hellish acts of sex begins which are not easy to be endured by a normal human begins.

What’s the nature of love? What’s the nature of sex? What hold sex has on a human body and mind?

Sex is always titillating, passionate and transforms you into a high spirited being. It’s that basic need and requirement of human life which makes a man understand woman and vice versa in the real sense. What do you find in Emily Maguire’s Taming the Beast?

With her series of incessant sexual dailies Sarah tried to fill that empty space in her life left gaping by Daniel Carr. After umpteen pointless f—–g sessions she still failed to fill her up. She just couldn’t get what Daniel did to her. Wild yearning for Carr raged within her insides.

The novel is intrepid and interesting because it makes us doubt the traditional thinking on sex. Sarah had full realization of Daniel Carr’s illegal seduction of a 14-year old girl but the fact is that she too desired it strongly. She succumbed to the seduction willingly. His leaving her devastated her completely. Daniel raked that fire in her which could not be calmed down but by him.

Novel is not entirely based on violent sexual relationships but it also has a beautiful warm story of friendship embedded in it. But, this friendship too couldn’t get spared from the scars of Sarah’s destructive energy. Her sexual life mars her friendship with Jamie too which concludes into his committing suicide.

Ending is ambiguous, may be was the necessity of leaving a messed up story of Sarah-Carr in such a manner lest what difference this and any other stormy love story would have. Though I didn’t find ending too satisfactory yet I would recommend you to give it at least a read. It’s indeed thought provoking novel.

I believe that love transcends you. It makes you something which you could have never imagined; which can be both the extremes. It either creates you or destructs you. Sex definitely has healing prowess. It enlightens you to those mysteries of human body and its folds which one can never understand without indulging into it. Understanding human body and its working in sync with the mind is one of the biggest mystery which sex opens up for you. It makes you understand the other person involved and to yourself too.

Maguire is not expecting you to sympathize with the sexually abused girl instead she keeps you fumbling for the real; feeling for the girl in between disgust and sympathy. She has shown a heroine who exercises her independent choice for her sexual life. She had her desires and can go up to any extent to fulfill them. She needs no men’s consent for her gratification. The novel propels us to probe into the questions of sexuality of teenage girls. It makes us ponder over how teenage girls handles and experiences the first flash of sexuality at such a tender age. They are no adults and no more kids- what kind of difficulties they face in understanding their sexual needs and changes.

There is nothing to sympathize with or for because Sarah is a modern woman who if had been corrupted, devastated, abused, and used, then had share of the same acts as well. She too used men for the gratification of her sexual hunger. She knows it very well; there is no one who will have guts to refuse her. She manipulated situations; she had her own will and way with many men. It is difficult to say who the abuser is and who the abused.

Read and find out, was she capable of Taming The Beast…? Did she succeed in making the beast with two backs?

Ab Ranj Se Khushi...

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 16:35:00 +0000

This ghazal is recited by Hemlata ji in Dulhan Wahi Jo Piya Man Bhaye of Rajshree Productions. It’s one of my all time favorite.

ab ranj se khushi se bahaar-o-kiza se kya

mahv-e-kayaal yaar hain ham ko jahaan se kya

unka khayaal unki talab unki aarzu

jis dil mein vo ho, maange kisi meharbaan se kya

ham ne chiraag rakh diya toofaan ke saamne

peechhe hatega ishq kisi imtahaan se kya

koi chale chale na chale ham to chal pade

manzil ki dhun ho jisko use kaarvaan se kya

ye baat sochne ki hain vo ho ke meharbaan

poochhenge haal-e-dil to kahenge zabaan se kya

Writer’s Block

noreply@blogger.com (Prachi) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:25:00 +0000

I’m not the newbie on stage to talk about what Writer’s Block is and how it can be evicted from your writing career.

Like any other creative writing blog mine too has something to say and begun with Writer’s block. Actually, the fact being this is what came first in front of me when I tried moving my fingers on the keyboard… no tap, mere zzzz through the keys… this is when I realized (epiphany) that I’m facing a writer’s block. And, it’s not a day’s phenomenon. It’s going on since months and I’m stuck like a pig in street hole here with lack of topics, short of vocabulary and deprived of thoughts.

Technically speaking, Writer’s Block is referred to anxiety that one faces when all of a sudden you fell short of words which is of course being a writer a shameful moment. A writer falling short of words, what an embarrassment! Isn’t it? Don’t be embarrassed rather find out what exactly is going on. What happened and why you are not getting that “Go” feeling?

How to know it has come?

It is when you feel you are shorn of ideas and no more thoughts are popping up. It is there when you are stuck in between some thought and there is no appropriate word to end it. It arrived at your mindscape when certain thought challenges you to give it a full and meaningful expression and you feel some lump in your throat to voice out your own views. And, also when your mind is flooding with ideas and words to give them impression and yet they re thwarted and given backseat just because you are too self-conscious of your words that you fail to execute them.

Writer’s anxiety often leads them to think on the lines that they lack some special writing quality and thought process which other famous writers had. No! There isn’t any special writing habit or quality that renowned writer’s possess. Instead it’s their hard work, determination, and will power that plays crucial role. Whatsoever impediment may come, you must not stop striving. Do not get slag in your efforts rather try finding out various resources that may come of some help in the time of dire necessity. Simply sitting hands on hands won’t do.

When I face this situation, it seems as if the whole world has come to an end and now there is no way out of the chaos and darkness. My fingers and senses go numb. I have been fighting this one dreadful foe since long. Now, you must be wondering how come I writing on the subject then? Right? In reality I’m not writing rather I’m broaching upon this dreadful subject and fighting this evil out. See, I have written a whole length blog entry just on this damned curse! Let’s find it out what else can be done to combat writer’s block?

Never in your life are you deprived of thoughts, even while saying I have no ideas left for writing you are thinking on scarcity of idea- so here lays you topic. Isn’t it? Almost whole of the day you keep thinking, brooding, observing, analyzing, and above all riding the horse of your imagination behind some fancy idea or thought. You have umpteen numbers of stories and incidents to share and yet jotting them down on a piece of paper becomes too difficult a job that poor notebook is deprived of its pages after every few scribbles.

Procrastination is the right word for hat we often tumble down to while planning of a new write up, be it a novel, story, poem or an essay. We dilly-dally with the idea so much so that we get thrust into a self-imposed writer’s block. It happens when we get diverted into various other distractions in our day-to-day lives. Time is precious, it waits for none! Every single minute which we spent idly is wasted and could have been utilized well in framing some beautiful verses.

Myself, I keep trying those quizzes on facebook and updating my status on twitter. And, at the end of the day I sob, “Where the hell on earth whole day went?” whatsoever time I’m left with then, I waste it simply in making a list of all important tasks I would be accomplishing the nest day which never comes even nearer to the truth.

If you really want to surmount this Satan of writing paradise then follow my dictum:

Write whatever comes to your mind in the heat of thought
Isolate yourself from the worldly distractions being a writer your entertainment lieth in beautifying the world of your thoughts, imaginations, and creation. Be an entertainer and entertain and thereby seek amusement for yourself. World is a stage where follies of various creative minds are on display so you be next in the line and let the others dance on your music
Value silence! It is only in silence when you hear what’s not audible to common ears. Muses visit you when you are left all alone in some nook of your own seclusion brooding over your creation. It lest you get in touch with your inner self because deep within yourself lays the mystery of your creative genius. From the deepest core of your being comes forth the great ideas and in the world full of myriad of noises you tend to lose contact with your true self and there you are furthered from your thoughts and thus the writer’s block. Search within, you will find mine of thoughts and beautiful words. “Silence is the great teacher, and to learn its lessons you must pay attention to it. There is no substitute for the creative inspiration, knowledge, and stability that come from knowing how to contact your core of inner silence.

– Deepak Chopra
Make notes of whatever strikes you in whole day. Keep a notebook and pen ready with you always. You never know when an idea comes knocking at your mind’s door!

Everyone wants to be a perfectionist which is indeed a gruesome task to tackle with. You might be a literature student who has chewed away huge literary cannon till date. You would have read and comprehended the meanings and purport of plethora of literary theories. You might also have done linguistics in your academics and have read and mustered all syntactical errors by now. But, when it comes to writing your own, very personal little piece, you are at loss. You realize that everything you read and learned by this day in your life has been drained down the gutter… and you have spilled some too grammatically incorrect piece of writing. Lo, here the lighting has struck and you dash off to your desk!

I remember few words of William Butler Yeats, not the exact ones yet, they say do not edit your writing, when you edit it, it is deprived of its originality and true essence. This is why you have often heard from older people that things in their crude form lends more impact than in their refined form.

So, concentrate on writing first and not on its quality! Practically speaking, there is neither a school nor a teacher who can make you learn writing. It’s you and only you! Lace up your shoes and find out your corner!

I may have left some important points un-broached upon, so you all are welcome to have your say!