Life in the Fish Bowl

Things I Love About The Girl

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 00:51:00 +0000

I haven't blogged in quite a while - well, over a year it seems - and was just saying yesterday how I don't know how I ever had the time. Then today, all I can think about is blog posts. Duh. Anyway, I think having a toddler just lends itself to blogging. Your friends get sick of hearing about how cute, sweet, smart, perfect, etc., little sweetie is and you have to tell someone - even if it is just a blog post with no readers bouncing around out in cyberspace!!

The Girl is 20 months old now. She is wondrous! Amazing. Outstanding. Perfect. Yeah, yeah, you are already sick of hearing it, I know. Therefore, I will spare you excess verbage and go to a bullet list.

Things I love about The Girl

I love how feisty she is. She is NOT taking any bullshit from anyone. Being 20 months old isn't any reason to have to, right?
I love how she says YAY!!!! when she is getting/doing something she wants. Enthusiasm should be her middle name.
I love how she loves spicy food, pickles, salsa,butter beans, hot stuff - just like her mommy.
I love how she trusts me completely. I can reach out to her from across the room and she'll just jump - knowing I'll catch her.
I love her fearlessness. Big dog? Strange person? New food? New place? Bring it on.
I love how she loves her brother. She will beat him down in a heartbeat if he messes with her - which he frequently does -, but she lights up from ear to ear, head to toe when she sees him. She doesn't look at anyone else like she looks at him. It makes my heart grow two sizes.
I love how she rolls with the flow. She'll sleep wherever/whenever. She'll go wherever. She isn't bothered by change or inconsistency. Thank god, because we sure don't have any kind of schedule!!!
I love how she wrinkles up her nose and makes silly faces at you when you say something she doesn't like. She may not say a lot of words, but she understands every word and their connotation.
I love how she says mama. How she babbles on endlessly in some foreign language, yet expects you to answer and looks irritated when you don't.
I love how she started putting her diapers in the trash can without me ever asking her to.
I love that she is my baby for ever and always, no matter how old she gets. :-)

Ten for '10

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 06:26:00 +0000

I don't usually do New Year's resolutions. The whole idea just doesn't seem necessary to me. If you need to do something, do it. Don't wait until a certain day of the year to start. Since I don't work or go to school, my calendar is very fluid - though with TB starting school I guess that is changing - so the new year, the weekend, etc, etc, just doesn't mean that much.

Anyway, this year I'm gonna jump on the resolution bandwagon. I've had a baby this year, my other baby has started school - lots of change and right now seems like a good time to set some goals for myself. That it coincides with the New Year? Well, that's just a total coincidence. So without further adieu...

Blue Momma's Resolutions for 2010

Sell/dispose of all of the no longer needed baby paraphernalia - clothes, hardware, toys, etc. I have so much shit piled around here that we can hardly get around. Now that we have TG and aren't in a holding pattern anymore it is time to declutter and get rid of the things she has outgrown or no longer/never will need.
Organize the kids rooms and help TB keep his that way. Both kids have small rooms so organization is essential. I have tons of bins and shelving, but we never seem to get the "litter" in the storage units.
Finish decorating projects in house - particularly in the kid's rooms. I haven't finished decorating TG's room and she is 7 months old. I guess I shouldn't feel so bad about that though, because I haven't finished TB's and he is five. Bad Mom.
Cook more frequently. I really do enjoy cooking, but have so gotten out of the habit. It is so easy to just eat a frozen pizza or let hubby pull something together. My bank account and my ass demand more home cooked meals in 2010. Blue Momma is gonna pull out the cookbooks, make some menus and get busy.
Eat a healthier diet - fewer calories, healthier foods, more fruits and vegetables. I guess this one explains itself.
Start eating on a smaller plate and don't go back for seconds. It's not that I eat such shitty foods to get the size I am - it's that I eat a fucking ton of whatever I eat. I'm not listing lose weight here, as I figure that if I do numbers five and six the weight will come off all on its on.
Learn to like at least three new vegetables this year. Since I hate them I figure one every three months is more than reasonable. In the past few years I have added spinach (raw only) and romaine to my vegetable repertoire, but I need to expand it greatly. I only like spinach, romaine (leaves only), butterbeans, tomatoes, corn and potatoes. I need to add some beans and maybe carrots.... This one will be hard.
Be more patient with my husband. He really is a good guy and tries really hard to make me happy. He is also a good father to TB and TG. I have less patience with him than I do with anyone else on earth and I am going to try to change that.
Get on a cleaning schedule for my house and keep it in order. I shouldn't have to spend more than 30 minutes cleaning/straightening up before I can have company over (as compared with needing about 2 days now).
Make sure that the time I spend with my husband/kids/family/friends is quality time vs. quantity. I want this to be the most kick ass year ever! Who cares if I'm with my family, but we are watching tv or doing our own things. This year will be about quality.

(Where did the spell check button go? Am I losing my mind? I know I don't blog much these days, but I know there used to be spell check on blogger, but I sure as hell can't find it.)

Knowledge is a Good Thing - Or So They Say

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:56:00 +0000

I asked TB last night what bad words he knew. He said he only knew two:

Oh my God

and

Stupid Asshole.

Can't imagine where he heard either of those from.

I know it won't win me any mom of the year awards, but I find that absolutely hilarious. If we can keep his bad word vocabulary at OMG and stupid asshole I would feel I was a great success.

Now if he had said stupid fucking asshole, now that would have been a different story....

I'm Too Old For Shit Like This

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:25:00 +0000

So last night I met some ~~skank whores~~ friends for dinner and a couple of movies afterwards. Yes, my friends, I went to see the premier of the new Twilight movie. I read the books - they were good. I saw the first movie. While not award winning cinema, I am no movie snob and thought it was a good movie. Why would you brave the opening night, midnight movie hysteria if you aren't a ~~retard~~ twitard? To hang out with my good friends.

Now to ,the crux of the matter here. We met for dinner and drinks at 6:30. I met L a little before six because we both had to pick up our tickets. The rest ~~those bitches~~ my friends came shortly there after and we enjoyed a nice dinner. Then we headed to the theater, where we had been told to arrive an hour early due to the crowds.

Crowds? The were none - at least when we got there. A few of ~~those losers I was hanging out with~~ my friends made a liquor store run - yes, YB but a loose six pack of bottled beer in my diaper bag!!!! - and then the movie started.

We saw the first Twilight movie at 9pm. It was over at 11pm so we had an hour to kill until the next one started. Everyone ~~talked shit~~ conversed until 12 and the time went by fairly quickly. If you forget the fact that it was 100 degrees in the theater everything was great.

Finally the movie starts and by this time I am so fucking sleepy. I tell L to wake me up if I fall asleep and start watching the movie. All I can say is, well, it is a movie. A bit into the movie I am even more sleepy and my contacts are bothering me so I decide to close my eyes and just listen for a minute.

Next thing I know I am waking up. K is giggling that I was asleep and I started snoring and Kimtastic took a picutre and hahahahahahah. Can you say Let's Cut A Bitch?

I asked L why she didn't wake me up and she said, well, I looked so peaceful and I was quiet. I pointed out that the time to wake me up was BEFORE I started snoring, not after. It seems I was sleeping quietly ~~even thought K was poking me~~ and at some point snorted/snored/fucking something and then went back to being quiet. Of course this was during a quiet part in the movie and the whole theater heard it.

I can only say that I wasn't too embarrassed ~~because I was sleeping and not awake to do any thing, like, say ---cut some bitches~~, but that those skank ho's will get theirs!!!!

All in all, though, it was a good night with ~~formerly~~ ~~supposed~~
good friends, though my ass is most definitely too old for that late of a night. Next time I'm out after dinner or at least by the end of the first movie.

Of course this morning I had forgotten to turn the sound back on on my alarm so I didn't get TB up for school until 6:30 so we had to rush, rush, rush. My boobs were EXPLODING by this time so TG got six tons of milk, which she promptly spit up all over me. YEA MORNING!!!!

I have a full day today and tomorrow, so by tomorrow evening I'll be feeling every one of my 41 years.

Lessons Learned:

-watch your own back. Skanks will not do it for you.
-a itty bitty baby belly can only hold so much milk
-turn your fucking alarm back on, dumb ass
-some people do not know the difference between a icy and a slush
-that Taylor Lautner kid is HAWT!

I'll leave you with a few pics from the night. Go to Kimtastic's place for the one of me snoozing.

And can you believe I left these next two at home to hang out with those crazy women?? Bad choices, Blue Momma, bad choices.

Good Times

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 03:56:00 +0000

Tonight we had some friends over for dinner. It was nice. The kids played and got along well. The grown ups did the same. The food was good - even if I did cook it - and the company was better. I was going to take some pictures, but was distracted by those kids, friends and food I was talking about. Maybe Kimtastic will email me a pic for my blog. You know she took some, if not quite as many as usual.

I know I bitch and moan a lot about things, but life really is pretty good. Don't get me wrong. I could be thinner, richer, prettier, smarter, etc, etc. But in all honesty? I have a great family and great friends. I am able to stay warm in the winter and cool in the summer. My belly is always full (ha - even too full!).

I need to shut up and enjoy what I have and that is exactly what I plan to start doing more of.

You bitches rock. And that includes you, too, J!!

I have to admit that TB did say he wanted F, H and E to be here, but he had a ball, too.

To quote Yankee Belle, "Good times, good times."

It's Too Soon!

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:46:00 +0000

I had to run to WalHell today to pick up some groceries. Yes, I have done that before, smart ass, but I haven't done it that frequently since TG was born. You see, believe it or not, my girl likes to be held. She has a hate/hate relationship with her car seat. She fucking hates that bitch!!!!

Usually we go to the store and she makes it about five minutes until she screams bloody murder. I end up carrying her in front of me in a forward facing position, trying to push the buggy with my free hand while peeping over top of the now empty car seat so I don't plow over some tooth missing, mullet sporting, wife beater wearing fellow shopper.

This is our routine. I've become accustomed to it. I've ~~bitched and moaned and couldn't do anything about it~~ accepted it.

But now? Today? I put TG in the carseat. NO TEARS. We go to WalHell and actually shop for things. NO TEARS. I push my luck and casually browse through the baby toys after getting my groceries. NO TEARS.

I should be happy, right?

I'M NOT!!!

I'm not ready for my baby to be all grown and able to handle shit without me holding her. I mean really, she isn't even six months old yet!!!!!!! Next thing you know she'll be sleeping in her own bed, calling me poopie head and getting on the school bus. That leads to high school, college, marriage, her moving away.....gahhhhhhhhh!!!! I can't take it!!!!!!

Seriously folks, I need another baby because mine is already practically grown.

Or maybe what I need is a good therapist and/or a fucking intervention.....

(FYI - for those of you who think I am neglecting TG while I am typing this, she is currently sound asleep while simultaneously on the boob. I may be a shitty housekeeper, but I am a kick ass multi-tasker!)

Home Improvements

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 06:25:00 +0000

I'm remodeling a little here on the old blog. I'm thinking maybe a remodel will have me wanting to spend more time at my old hang out. We'll see. Anyway, you guys let me know what you think - honestly!! I'm no pro at this so I'm depending on yall to help me work out the bugs. Damn bug man would just charge me a hundred bucks and I can't afford that! It's nearly Christmas after all....

All bassackward

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:54:00 +0000

Yesterday I was soooo tired. We got up early in the a.m. to get ready for a birthday party. I had been busy the night before and didn't make it to pick up a present so I sent TB (The Boy, aka Punkin) and Hubby to pick something up. I told him what to get and how much to spend. He comes home having spent half what I told him and had a toy that the kid was waaaay too young for. The kid is younger than TB and TB couldn't have played with the toy. First case of bassackwardness.

TB and I had to run by Target on the way to the party, exchange the gift and buy another one. On a side note, I did get to tell TB that he was gonna be "Tardy for the Party" and we had a lot of fun singing Tardy for the Party as we hurried through the store. (Gotta love those Real Housewives!)

After the party we met a friend for lunch. After lunch I offered to take TB to Toys R Us to do a little advance scouting for Santa Claus. What kid could turn that down, right??

MINE.

Little punk wanted to go to Wal Hell instead!!! That was our second case off bassackwardness. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted. Of course Wal Hell didn't have the toys he wanted to look at, just like I had predicted. We looked at what they had and made our way home. On the way home I was so damn tired that I could have closed my eyes and slept right there in the driver's seat.

I only got more tired as I got closer to home, but I figure me and TG (The Girl, aka Orange Juice) could nurse and nap when I got home. WRONG! She wanted no part of a nap so we actually got a blanket and layed out in the backyard with TB until it started getting cold. I did manage to keep my eyes open, but barely, and only because my phone kept ringing.

So I'm like screw it. I'm going to bed. An actual bed. For those who don't know it, I've been sleeping with TG in the recliner in the living room since she was born. FIVE MONTHS AGO. Yes, I have. Back the fuck up, haters! It works for us. Anyway, I've been wanting a nights sleep in a real bed and since hubby didn't have call that day or the next I figured he had no excuse. I took TG downstairs where hubby had been ~~drinking beer~~ grilling and gave her to him, informed him of the plan, left him mumbling and grumbling and headed up to bed.

Now before you all start that "poor hubby" shit, let me tell you that he has NEVER had to tend to her at night, all night. She will be six months old and this was his first time. So TB and I snuggle up and he goes to sleep. ME? Here is our next case of bassackwardness.

I can't sleep.

When I do finally go to sleep, I wake up miserable. Crampy, sore - hell, like I'd been sleeping in a chair or something! (Though I might add that my chair is very comfy.) I get up and go get in my bed (hubby is in MY chair with TG). Again, can't sleep. Wake up off and on all night long, back hurting, legs hurting. Finally, I got up and got in the other recliner and went to sleep. I guess the going cold turkey on the recliner is not going to work. Not. At. All.

Plus, after sleeping (off and on) from 7pm till sometime early the next morning? I woke up with two of these

on my chest. So a night of no sleep, aches and pains, and boulder boobs? Leads to one bitchy Blue Momma today!!! The only thing that is making it tolerable is looking down and seeing thisHubby and TB have gone to the zoo, so my house is really as peaceful as that pic would make it appear.

Bassackward, but peaceful and full of love. :-)

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:12:00 +0000

Letters in the Style of That Chick

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 07:59:00 +0000

Dear Blue Momma,

Quit whining like a little bitch because your mouth hurts. You are the one who didn't put your retainer in for over a week. Put on your big girl panties and deal.

Sincerely,
Yourself

PS. Forget that big girl panty stuff. I realize that is all you own anyway.

Dear Stupid Old Bitch Who Shouldn't Have A Drivers License,

Right after you look to your right before pulling out into the street? It would be really smart if you also looked to your left. I know I don't drive a big, humongous SUV, but I'll still fuck you up if I run into you. Plus if you make me wreck with my baby in the car and you do manage to survive? I'll kill you with my bare hands shortly thereafter.

Love,
Heifer You Tried To Run Into This Morning

Dear Everyone,

Life is too short. Give peace a chance and shit like that.

Most sincerely,
Mellow Momma

Dearest Tabby,

I love you as much as a girl can love a cat. You rock my world. However, it is really hard for me to type with a 15 pound cat laying on my wrist. Please move and while you are up go tell Pretty Girl to clean her ass. It is looking pretty ripe.

XOXO,
Your Mom

My Sweet Girl,

I love you more than salsa and chips. Your little smile makes me melt and forget that I haven't slept a whole night in a bed for the past five months. I don't even mind when your diapers singe my nose hairs and make my toes turn inside out.

Oh, yeah. And when you chew on your toes? It may just be the cutest thing I've seen.

I Love You,
The Luckiest Momma on Earth

My Sweet Boy,

You make your Momma so proud. The only thing that would make me prouder would be if you'd put your dirty clothes in the laundry room when you take them off.

Love you bunches,
Your Momma

PS. If you could actually deposit the pee IN the toilet vs. all around it? That would be way cool, too. XOXO

Things that are pissing me off today

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 15:16:00 +0000

Fucking trains that block traffic for a damn HOUR piss me off. Move that shit, people! I've worked in manufacturing and if you are a responsible company you make sure that when you switch you do NOT inconvenience everyone around you while you do your work.
Seton Pharmacy. If you have changed your procedures how about sharing that with your customers? Don't be a bitch with me because you have changed your hours/numbers/location. Fuckers. I hate having to use the employee pharmacy at hubby's job. HATE.
MawMaw and PawPaw need to stay the hell at home until school and work traffic is over. Stay home and take your geritol and drink your coffee with the soggy biscuit in it and stay out of my way.
Not having my happy pills for a week because I can't get through to the damn fucked up employee pharmacy. Can you tell I haven't had that "edge" taken off? Hmmm...
The weather sucks major ass today. I have a playgroup at my house tomorrow. Guess we'll stay inside or agree to let the kids run around with wet, muddy feet and asses. Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
Can't find my keys. Used the spare set, planning to use the key we keep in the garage to get in the house. That key? MIA. Hubby? Blamed it on the kid!!! Like he can reach six foot up in the air to find the thing. Fucker. Accept responsibility for losing the key and move on before you get de-balled.
I have a headache. It hurts. Waaaaa. I also have a hair appointment in thirty minutes and no baby sitter. Chances of the girl sleeping through it? Slim, since she is sleeping now.

Guess I better quit bitching and head out to get this frizzy mop of hair cut. Of course I'll probably get blocked by a damn train on the way.....

Things I've Learned from my Four Year Old

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Fri, 15 May 2009 06:45:00 +0000

Punkin has become quite the little man lately. He's still cute and sweet - most of the time - and loves to snuggle with his mama, but then he will also tell it like it is. Well, like it is in his world, which exists in some strange land ruled by preschoolers.

Just recently he has:
- told me that he only likes to talk to nice people, so would I please quit talking to him
- after being dumped by his girlfriend, he said "Maybe she'll change her mind when she grows up"
- told hubby to "Please stop talking! I just don't want to hear it."
- said that he likes it when I type on my computer because when I do we don't have to clean up
- was pissed off that he didn't get to eat dinner with my friend's husband or to play with her little girl after we delivered food to another friend who'd just had a baby. This had been our plan the week before and I hadn't mentioned it since.
- suggested that I get a job in the evenings so that he could see daddy more often, but then decided since he loved me I could go ahead and stay home
- taken exception to the fact that I said he was a girl because his fingernails had gotten long, he dropped his pants, pointed to his package and said "I have a wingding. I'm a boy!"
- argued with me over the identity of Chloe on Smallville (she was impersonated last week, but was herself this week - he had a problem with this for some reason)
- reminded me that he will change diapers when Orange Juice gets here, but only wet ones because he does not like poop
- told me that I was the best mommy ever and that he loved me sooooo much
- asked why I hid behind the pillow in the pictures from bunco (because I make shitty pictures). He said for me to please take more pictures because he loved me.
- asked why I wear makeup because he liked me better without it

He's becoming quite the little man. Such a talker, so opinionated, so sure of his little four year old self. I see lots of hair pulling and headaches ahead, but I am so proud of him. I love his spunk and his determination and I love how alike we are. I love that he is sooooo excited about his new baby sister's arrival and I can't wait to see his face when he first lays eyes on her. I will even gladly have my picture made with them (yes, bunco bitches, I said gladly!). Today we turned off the tv and the computer and just sat in the rocking chair, read books and talked. It was so nice.

Life? Despite my bitching? It is good.

And the laundry is ALL done. Who could ask for more?

Update

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:23:00 +0000

Hello to all three people who still read this blog!!

It's late and I need to go to bed, but wanted to give a quick update on things in the Blue household. Hopefully bullets will do because it's late and it's all I've got!

I'm feeling great. I wasn't losing my mind after all, my iron was just terribly low and it was making me feel insane! I feel like my old self - happy pills or not - and I'm glad to be back. Who would think a little bit of iron could make such a difference in ones physical and mental health?
I only have 11 weeks left until little Orange Juice arrives. The time is slowly sneaking up on me and I am NOT prepared. These next few weeks will be busy, busy, busy. I sure am glad I'm feeling good again or I would be totally screwed - well, more than I am now!
I've decided to withdraw from school for this semester. Being that I've been in a virtual fog for the past couple of months and have neglected everything, I have a lot to make up for. These next couple of months will be all about Punkin and Hubby and getting ready for Orange Juice to arrive. School is a priority, but definitely well below them - and myself - on my list.
Found out Punkin was playing doctor with a friend. Shouldn't they wait until they are at least in elementary school before starting that shit? As I've said many times before, his teenage years are going to be verrrrrry interesting.
I'm really bothered that Punkin's first love has decided to "live up in a tower" since she still loves him and he is going to marry someone else. Being a preschooler should not have to be so complicated!! :)
Just because I talk to you doesn't mean I like you and just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I don't like you. I've said that before and it is true, at least for me and how I operate. It is more thought provoking when I realize that it also applies to how others interact with me. Everything/everyone cannot be taken at face value. This isn't New England. ;-)
People come in and out of your life for a reason. Sometimes you don't appreciate the person, the timing, the circumstances - whatever - of their entrance/exit, but I think most of the time, after the hard part is over, it is for the best for all involved. It is hard to move on sometimes, but it is what is needed.
Damn if this feeling better hasn't gotten me all introspective and doesn't have me evaluating/re-evaluating lots of things/plans/people in my life. I think this is good - and it is nice to have a clear head again and to be able to do it!
The oh so erudite K-Mom once said on her blog: "Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." I realize the past few months I've not followed this and I plan on prioritizing things correctly from now on! I think I tend to think about how I am getting treated and sometimes forget about the other person. That's not cool. Of course, if I'm not a priority for them? Well, that is dead weight I need to cut off...and I need to lose all the weight I can!!! ha
Weight. I've gained more weight so far in this pregnancy than I gained the whole time with Punkin. Fuckity, fuck, fuck. I totally blame it on the iron deficiency and the diabetes and not on, in any particular order: Little Caesar's breadsticks, Sabra Supremely Spicy Hummus and whole wheat pita pockets, Taco Bell anything, Sabor Latino chips and salsa0, etc, etc. Totally the other shit. Totally
We went to visit a friend today and her daughter met us at the door and told us "not to get on her nuts today". hehehehehehehe We did our best to stay off of her nerves. I hope we were successful. Of course she did perform that exam on my kid, so...

Ok, that short update sure got long. I'm kind of feeling the blog bug again, I think, so maybe I'll be back more. Hopefully the three of you will be here, too! Punkin has really been zinging me with the one liners here lately so I've had a lot of blog fodder....if I could just remember it now, you'd have been spared this boring ass post!!!

Blah, Blah, Blah

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 03:15:00 +0000

Do you ever just feel blah? Nothing is really wrong, you just feel blah.

I feel blah.

School is ok. My classes are ok. There is work to be done, of course, but it isn't terribly hard.

Hubby has been on good behavior, as has Punkin. Well, good as you get from a four year old!!

The pregnancy is going spectacularly well, even better than the first one. Couldn't ask for better.

Still.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

I miss my happy pills. They helped take away the blahs. I feel inappropriately happy, then inappropriately sad. Neither to extreme, but neither really appropriate. Or maybe it is appropriate. Who knows. Maybe the happy pills just made everything artificially wonderful and this is just reality.

Or it could be that after watching Jurassic Park 1, 2, & 3 approximately 4,497,464 times over the past two weeks that I'm just suppressing the feeling that I will soon be eaten by a velociraptor.

Again

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 21:11:00 +0000

Why am I sitting here, again, watching country music videos and tearing up?

Maybe I should dig out those old Motley Crue and Ozzy vhs tapes from the old days and man up a bit. I may even have a four sizes too small concert tee stuck in a box somewhere....

Mush

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:00:00 +0000

I'm sick today and, rather than spread my misery to all of my classmates, I decided to take a day off from classes. I really don't need to miss, but I don't think I'd get any brownie points by coughing a lung up at one of my teachers. I've washed some clothes, cleaned the house some and put in a little computer time, of course. While I did all of this the tv was on and somehow ended up on GAC, the country music channel.

I caught myself listening to that song where the guy thought he was strong before he met his wife, blah, blah, blah and ended up crying. Yeah, crying. I'll blame some of it on hormones and some of it on it being the 800th sappy song I had heard and some of it on just life in general.

I know I bitch and moan a lot - about the hubby, about finances, about any old thing - but really? Life as a whole is pretty good.

Yes, I could be - in no particular order: richer, thinner, smarter, more organized, younger, more patient, etc, etc - but I must admit, I'm pretty happy with me. I think I have the best kid ever - like me, not perfect - but pretty damn close to it. Hubby is patient, hard working, generous with me to a fault. Honestly, I wouldn't put up with me. So is he, are any of us, perfect? No. But I must admit I'm glad to be where I am and with who I'm with.

I've been lucky enough to make some good friends since moving back to Alabama. They keep me busy, keep me sane when I'm feeling crazy, bring me back down to earth when I'm thinking my shit just doesn't stink. I'm glad to have found them and to get to share my life with them and to take part in theirs, too. I'm not perfect, they aren't perfect, but who the hell wants perfect?

I'm finally pregnant and it looks like things are going to be successful this time. We've wanted this so long that it's hard to believe it is happening. I'm so happy, hubby is so happy, Punkin is beyond happy. As Punkin puts it, now we'll be a real family. I think he thinks he needs a sibling for it to be real, though it feels pretty damn good the way it is. When little Orange Juice gets here? She'll just be the cherry on top!

Ok, enough mush. Now I need to watch Bones, snuggle with Punkin, and finish cleaning this messy house. Hope you all are feeling as good as I am - cold from hell or not!

Proof That I'm Really 12

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 07:31:00 +0000

So it is late night. I should be asleep, but I'm nursing a new found addiction to Spider Solitaire. You know, that free game that comes with Windows? Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, I'm watching Books that Were Left Out Of the Bible, or some shit like that, and all of a sudden this infomercial is on. It's for the Slap Chop. Some cheap ass mini chopper which I'm sure isn't nearly as good as my one from Pampered Chef. But it does come with free shit...

So dude is talking up the Slap Chop big time. He's excited. If I was in the other room I'd probably think I was hearing bad porn. But I digress.

Dude is slapping.

Dude is chopping.

Then Dude says:

Come on. You're gonna love my nuts.

hehe

I was kind of in a shitty mood, but that cracked my ass up.

With a super serious, but excited face, a grown man on a television commercial told me I was gonna love his nuts! ~snicker~

They just say I was born in 1968, but I know. I know I'm really 12.

I'm Still Here...

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:00:00 +0000

Hi, blogland!! Long time no see. Or I guess more appropriately, long time no write. Because I do read, even though the writing, both blogging and commenting, is almost nonexistent. I'd blame it on the pregnancy if it hadn't started before that. I guess since that is out of the question as far as blame - and I'd never blame myself, of course - I'll have to blame the hubby. It's always their fault anyway, isn't it? No matter what the issue? Sure. That's why we married them, to have someone to blame our shit on!

Anyway, life around here is going good, if busier than I really like. I'll be 20 weeks this Thursday, so baby Orange Juice - you can thank Punkin for that name - is growing and thriving. It seems like just yesterday I found out I was finally pregnant, but then again it seems like time is crawling by at a snail's pace. We have picked a name - or more accurately Punkin picked a name. He is SO into this pregnancy. It makes it even more fun. He's gonna be a great big brother. Oh, and I guess I should say "it" is a she! He will tell you he decided that, too, by wishing really hard. Who knows? Maybe he did...

I'm back in school now, just two classes this semester, though. Punkin is back in school three days a week, one of which is a free day for me which will be really nice, as I didn't have one last semester. What to do on that day? Hmmmm....~~facebook~~ laundry, ~~read/write blogs~~ dishes, ~~hang with the girls~~ study? Wonder which ones of those will win out? Any guesses?

Punkin is also growing like a weed. He is so damn big these days! Talks like he's 15, usually has at least three girls he is stringing along, corrects my errors (I know you are surprised, but I do make them...occasionallly), and never slows down. He will either keep me young (ish) or send me to an early grave, depending on the day you ask me. Right now he is marrying Grace Ann - ask me tomorrow who my future DIL will be as it may change. He does know that he isn't marrying me - but only because I am already married!

Life without the happy pills is interesting. My fuse? Not short. No, it is nonexixstant. My patience? Don't count on me having any. Therefore, I'm pretty much just trying to avoid situations that call for either fuses or patience, which face it folks, is pretty fucking hard to do. A friend has even recently said I was getting crotchety. Hmph. Maybe a little hermitish, but I don't know about crotchety!!!

I am having to fight the hermit urge really hard, though. I tell you I could sit in my house for a week and never leave and it would be alright with me. I do fight it though and sometimes get out of my own choosing, but usually it is someone dragging me out, even if they don't realize that is what they are doing. Thank god for school and friends who go, go, go or poor Punkin would be a shut in! I tell you some of these girls - and you know who you are! - never sit still! It's good though, because it gets me out and when I get out I enjoy it. It's just the dragging my ass up off the couch part that is the problem.

Ok, I'm gonna go now and try to get a little studying done. Thanks to all of you who made it through this not so thrilling post. I'm starting to feel the blogging itch just a little (maybe lack of happy pills there, too?), so I'll probably be around a little more. Till then - love ya, miss ya...see ya!

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:54:00 +0000

I'm feeling the urge to post, but not to really put together complete sentences or cohesive paragraphs. Since yall already indulge me by still coming around in spite of my infrequent posting, please allow me to once again glorify the bullet post.

Punkin and I took a nap today. It was very nice. I sure miss nap time - though I must admit that if he started napping again I would so be napping with him vs. my old habit of ~~blogging~~ cleaning.
I was worried that Punkin might not enjoy his second visit to the dentist as much as his first. All he was worried about was that he got to go back by himself like a big boy and that he'd get a toy. Hmmmph. The kid grew up when I wasn't looking.
I just got a new phone and along with it unlimited internet and texting. I am sure I've found my latest addiction and probably the reason for my next new car and hospital visit.
I also realize that I have all of this unlimited texting now, but no one is texting me. Will this crap make me needy? Because I feel needy and in next of some text love soon. Hubby can't help me out because I most certainly did not add it to his phone!
I installed Google Talk yesterday and realize that my gmail invisibility shield is no longer in effect. However, I did catch up with three "long lost" pals since that time, which was nice. You chicks know who you are. It was nice chatting with you!
My registration for school in the spring is complete. No last minute, what am I gonna do, holy shit crap for me this go round. This time I was prepared. And yes, that is quite a rare thing for me lately.
My docs office called yesterday to schedule another appointment for me with a different doctor for some testing. Don't you love it when they earn their $$$ by actually taking care of you? Seriously, though. Considering they will be poking a big ass needle up my woo ha and stealing fetal cells that are mine, all mine, they should act as my concierge. Shouldn't they?
Oh, yeah. That last one. Yes, I am. Eleven weeks today. Yipeeeee! And this does serve as my public announcement. Being that pretty much everyone I actually talk to in real life knows already, but have all been sworn to secrecy, I guess it is kind of anticlimactic, but still, an announcement all the same. And yes, we are ecstatic.
Punkin will accept no news other than that he is having a sister. He prefers to name her Orange Juice. Ha! He says we "already have enough boys in our house." He is such a little man!!!

Ok, I'm outta here. The Punk is playing for a moment and I can catch up on my DVR. Top Chef anyone?????

Woo Hoo!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:53:00 +0000

Things I Have Learned

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:38:00 +0000

As of this past September I am 40 years old. Damn. Time flies. I remember when I thought 21 was old. Argh.

In honor of my agedness, I wanted to share some of my great wisdom. Here it is.

People will always stop and stare at a train wreck. They don't want to be a part of it by any means, but they cannot resist taking a moment to slow down and look - to count their blessings in comparison.
Life includes many decisions. If you don't make the correct one the first time, don't be a dumb ass. Suck it up and change course. A failure can be a good thing - if you learn from it.
Dependence on the approval/acceptance of others is a sure fire route to unhappiness and discontent. Why do so many people need it? If you love yourself - warts and all! - what other people think about you (whether it be good or bad) doesn't matter so much anymore - and that is incredibly freeing.
Contentedness is the thing I strive for most. I work on it everyday, but haven't achieved it yet. Still, though, I haven't given up.
You don't have to like someone to be nice to them and you don't necessarily always have to be nice to the people you do like. Life is messy and shit happens. Just because I'm grouchy sometimes doesn't mean you aren't my friend - or just because I'm nice doesn't mean you are. Civility is an underrated quality in my opinion.
Quality is more important than quantity. A good, small steak. A few good friends. More doesn't mean better, it just means more.
Sadly, sometimes they are laughing at you, not with you. Don't sweat it and move on or do something to change your situation. Only YOU control YOU.
Kids really do change you and your life and all of those people who told me that really weren't full of shit. I admit it. I was wrong.
If you have a freak flag, fly it - and be proud. But be able to live with the consequences of it. If you can't handle the consequences maybe you need to reevaluate your flag.
Stopping and listening to the advice of friends whose opinion you value is important. Even if you are a big know it all like me. You have these people around you for a reason - take advantage of them and their experience.
Life is too short for negativity. I will excise all of it that I possibly can from my life, though I know some of it is unavoidable. Dragging negative shit out is not my style. Let's wallow in it for a bit and then move on and get over it.
There are very few people who do not have some type of qualities which I admire and who I don't feel I can learn something from - even if it is learning what not to be/say/do. When you quit learning you are dead. And a sad, deluded person, too.
A human can live off spicy hummus and pita bread alone - at least for a few weeks. That is some gooood shit.
Going off of my happy pills is/was not a good idea. I need those fuckers.

Humility - and How Blue Momma Got Some

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:06:00 +0000

Long time no blog! I'm still alive and kicking, just busy as hell. I'll recap the summer and why I've not been around later, but - yeah, you guessed it - I don't have time right now. Just wanted to post a bit so you knew I hadn't in fact dropped off of the face of the earth or moved to Julia Tutwiler or something....

First of all, the title of this post has endless appeal to my inner twelve year old. I started to put how BM got some. I always giggle when people call me BM. If that doesn't get you a dose of humility, what will? Come on. BM? Basically I was saying how shit got some? hehe I crack my twelve year old self up. Then how BM ~~shit~~ Blue Momma got some. Like Blue Momma ever gets some! HA! Again, I crack my twelve year old self up!

(I promise I really didn't spend the summer sitting in the corner smoking weed and making bad jokes. Just this morning. Except for the weed part.....)

Anyway, I went back to college the week. I decided what that when I grow up I want to be a math teacher so I enrolled myself in a local college and got started on it. (Can you say long story short?)

Math. Chosen because math is a teacher shortage area and jobs are plentiful. Chosen because there are federal and state funds to repay student loans for math teachers. Chosen because I want to teach middle school and kick ass at addition and subtraction.

Not chosen because I'm some type of math prodigy. Puh-leeeease.

So again, long story short (from now on LST because I have a shit load of long stories to tell (damn lack of blogging!)), I need four hours of advanced math classes in order to start my teacher education curriculum. Holy shit. You need calculus I at a minimum to get into any of these classes. I have only taken algebra.

Big deal, right? I can just bust my ass and catch up. I didn't think I was ready but the secretary (!) who registered me (LST) thought I could handle it, so what the hell. They suckered me in with the whole "you can start your ED classes in the spring!" line and I went for it.

I mean, I'm smart right? I can do anything if I want to, right? I'm not just your average dufus! I can handle it.

So I enroll in Numerical Analysis. Math 330 or some shit like that. Buy my book. Take my old ass to class with the 20 year olds. I don't know if Jaydoug reads my blog, but if he does? They did not think I was the teacher! Smart ass. ~~They just thought I was some old chick.~~

I go into the class at 2pm. By 2:02pm I have realized what a fucking mistake I've made! I am not that smart. I do not know everything. I cannot just study real hard and handle whatever is thrown at me.

Holy shit. Talk about feeling academically inadequate! I felt like a total dumb ass! Those 20 year olds were throwing around mathematical terms I had never even heard of, much less learned and forgotten 16 years ago when I had algebra!

I sat through the class, drawing daisies in my notebook and thinking what the fuck is my dumb ass doing here. I volunteered to the professor that he didn't have to ask me to drop the class, that I was kicking my own dumb ass, unprepared, prerequisite not having ass out.

So what does an over confident know it all dumb ass do then? Register for calculus I.

I think you see where this is headed, right? I go to calI the next day. I'm not as totally lost as I was the day before, but I'm not shouting out answers from my half desk (who the hell invented those things anyway? A one armed man? It had to be a man, regardless of the number of arms he had). I'm thinking I'm one smart chick and this stuff will come back to me.

Then he hands out a pretest.

At that point I again realize that I don't know shit.

You guess what happens next?

I go home and plurk endlessly (LST) about my ineptitude and everyone tells me how I can do it! To hang in there! It's easy! Woo hoo! Go BM!

Finally, at this point, I listen to inner voice. Remember, I'm a know it all. I always get into trouble when I ignore my inner voice. So my inner voice is telling me to put my old, dumb, algebra 16 years ago ass into precal and to quit fucking around with shit I have no clue about.

That's what I did. Precal? Not a breeze at this point, but not totally foreign either. I won't be as quick as the 18 year olds in the class that had algebra last semester before they graduated high school (fucking babies), but I an hang. It is coming back to me. Maybe I'm not a totally clueless old hag after all.......

So to sum that all up, my know it all ass was reminded that I in fact do not know everything. That being older doesn't necessarily make me smarter at ~~anything~~ everything. That advanced math is for the fucking birds.

If you ever get to thinking you are really smart - you know, like me - just go sit through a numerical analysis class for an hour. It'll remind you that yeah, you may know some stuff, maybe even some really good shit, but you don't. know. everything. Not by a long shot. And that some stuff? About some stuff you don't even have a fucking clue.

So my big head? Well, this week it has officially been deflated. If you see some chick walking around with an oversize body and an itty bitty head (like that guy on Men in Black!), well that's me. Humility is reigning and I'm put in my place.

I can't promise it will last long, but for now? I'm totally it's bitch.

Uh, What's The Deal?

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:27:00 +0000

Recently Punkin has:

peed in the litter box
peed in a Target bag
pretended his wang was a water hose and sprayed it all over the bathroom
tried (yes tried because it wasn't a total success) to pee through a brand new roll of toilet paper, spraying the toilet and the wall in the process
stopped lifting the seat when he has to pee
peed in the bushes at a birthday party
attempted to pee in the bathroom sink
peed in my granny's potty seat/lift thingie which was in the bathroom floor (it is just a ring, it has no bottom)
threatened to pee on me

I thought when potty training was over I was done with worrying about his peeing. What's the deal with this new obsession with peeing? He'll be four in just over a month. Seriously. Shouldn't he know better than this?

If he starts experimenting with his poop I am listing him on Ebay.

Looking For Some Funny??

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:40:00 +0000

Ok, I'm not around much lately am I? Just too busy. Summer has been fun, but I really miss my couch potato days!

Lots to tell, not much time to tell it. But if you are looking for a dose of funny, go over here and check out my girl Janet. Hell, I'm even late posting this so make me look better by going over and leaving her a shout out or two.

Maybe then she'll quit kicking my ass at Scrabulous. And Word Twist. And Scramble.

Ouch. My ass hurts.

My only revenge is Sudoku, where I'm doing quite well. Though surely after posting this she'll begin kicking my ass at that, too.

Ok, I'm gonna shut up while I'm less behind.

You Are NEVER Out Of The Woods

noreply@blogger.com (Blue Momma) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:33:00 +0000

No really. You think you are out of the woods, but you aren't.

My Punkin?

This kid right here

The one who knows every animal on earth (well, close to it anyway!), who can tell you what those animals eat and which country or continent they live on, whether they sleep during the day or at night.

The one who remembers EVERYTHING he's ever heard and is almost always right (which is a very irritating quality in a three year old.)

The one who will carry on a conversation with you like you and he are the same age?

My nearly four year old, potty trained son?

Yes. He did it.

Peed in the litter box.

I must admit he learned it all on his own, with no training from me. I'm so proud.

While I may be bitching about it now, I guess it is preferable to a few days earlier when he peed in a Target bag and then brought it to me. Luckily it was a Target bag without a hole in it.

What is it with these preschool age boys and their obsession with their body parts and bodily functions? All I hear from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed is poop, pee, penis, wingding, junk, poot, butt, butthole, etc, etc. I am SO over it.

I even pointed out to him that all boys have penises and that they aren't that special. Sorry to any guys who may have happened by this post, but they aren't. (Ok, he just pretend farted at me while I was typing that sentence.) I mean you all have them. That makes them, well, very regular.

To those of you with older kids - is there an end to this or am I doomed to a life of potty talk? Seriously. If he's not going to stop it, I'm gonna have to get better at it. There is no way I'm gonna be out ~~pooted~~ ~~pooped~~ talked by a three year old.

At least I hope I won't be...............