life in the lost world....

happy birthday jordin...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:25:00 +0000

here we are, observing your 3oth birthday without you.
are you watching son? do you see us eating your birthday dinner?
do you feel us missing you? loving you?

can you hear the sound of your mama's heart breaking, again?

when does it get easier jordin? when does the hurting stop?
i miss you so very very much and days like this, when we should
be able to hug you and wish you happiness only reminds us of
our loss.

i simply don't have any more words right now except i love you.
i love you and i miss you and i'd give anything to see you smile today.

save your mama a seat, son. i'll be there in just a little while!

my friday five (minutes)

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 16:04:00 +0000

look out everyone, here comes my friday five minutes
of randomness.

it's been an interesting week here in the lost world, our
little divine miss m, my daughter, liberty's little girl, has come
to stay for a bit.

i had completely forgotten how busy a two year old is. we call her
mrs. giddy-gaddy and miss flutterbee because she is seldom still
for more than a second or two. she seriously gives the little worker
bees in the hives a run for their money!

the "dawgs" as she calls them in her cute little texas accent, already have
that haunted look as they realize their days of peaceful dozing on the porch
have come to an end for now. fleego has been trying to avoid mikayla ever
since she discovered poor flee's boobies this morning and is determined
that flee feed her baby dolls from them.

she is busily re-wrapping her bumpaw's heart around her little finger as he
happily trades nascar and the speed channel for noggin, nickelodeon and dora
the explorer.

even her uncle daniel, at the lofty age of 15, is tickled to elicit a smile
when he performs some small task for her majesty, the queen of everything!

caitlyn's grief over the loss of her puppy even seems less acute when mikayla
smiles at her or bestows a rare hug or kiss.

all in all, i'd have to say, this little girl is just what the doctor ordered
here on the home front. there's a bit more life in our step,
a lighter spirit throughout and many many more smiles on our faces.

thank you Lord, for blessing us with her presence and
thank you, liberty for trusting us with her.

mikayla--our little treasure

entry from my daybook

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:54:00 +0000

For today: (monday, september 21, 2009) i will try to put my hurt feelings aside

Outside my window: it's still dark outside and i can hear crickets chirping and the last of the rain dripping from the roof. it promises to be another hot florida day with no sign of fall approaching.

I am thinking: how i love being up before everyone else and being able to get my feet underneath myself before having to begin my day

I am thankful that: this poor old computer fired up another day for it's days are numbered, i'm afraid

From the kitchen: dinner tonight will be chicken paprikash and noodles. i cannot imagine that something so easy tastes so good and the entire family likes it. even danny, if i carefully pick the onions out.

I am creating: my own reality instead of letting others subject me to theirs

I am going to be working on: scrubbing the kitchen floor and deep cleaning the living room, IF the men will go out of the house long enough for me to work. am i the only one who finds it nearly impossible to get my work done with men sitting around the house?

I am wearing: pajama bottoms and a tshirt

I am reading: "the girl who heard dragons" by anne mccaffrey

I am hoping to watch: the sun as it rises to begin another day

I am hearing: the kittens tumbling over each other and the ceiling fan as it does it's thing

Around the house: general clutter and disarray.

One of my favorite things: listening to the birds singing their morning song.

A picture i'd like to share:

our lovely jamie rose

this blog will be going private until further notice

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:40:00 +0000

i apologize to ya'll for making you go thru an extra step
just to read my blog, but i am dealing with a situation in
my personal life that makes it a necessity at this time.

please bear with me and pray that things are back to normal
quickly.

thanks!

the friday five (minutes)

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:37:00 +0000

my five minutes of randomness for the week.

testosterone. it's a very confusing thing to me. try as i might,
i do not understand the joy that men get out of watching two
people on television beat the snot out of each other.

injustice. i do not understand people's unwillingness to stand up
for someone who is being terribly wronged. they acknowledge that
the wrong is occurring, but are afraid to step up to the plate. why?
is it the fear that the "wrongness" will take aim at them next?
why are folks so reluctant to get involved?

the upper hand. why is it that some people are just so determined,
to the exclusion of all else, to have the upper hand in a given situation?
willing to lie, use public humiliation, withhold treasured mementos.
so determined that when they see someone down and bleeding,
they are compelled to get in a few extra kicks for good measure.

why is it that peach yogurt tastes so good? if you look at the ingredients,
it seems so yuck. femented milk product and fruit. could anything sound
worse? sour cream is another example. it's soured cream for goodness
sakes! we top our potatos with it, dip our chips in it and add it to our sauces.
eggs. who on earth was the first person to say, "i think i'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes out of that chicken's butt"?

do you think a man invented hot wax to get even with an ex girlfriend?
have you ever tried to wax your underarms? NOT recommended.

i love sushi! not the raw fish kind, but rather the fresh veggie kind that's
wrapped in brown rice and seaweed. my friend sharon took me out for
a late birthday lunch yesterday and we both gorged on sushi as a starter.
after dipping it heavily in soy sauce and wasabi, my sinuses were clearer
than they'd been in weeks! i think i could happily live on sushi and macdonald's
fries for quite a long time.

why is it, do you think, that that first virgin sniff of coffee as you open the can,
smells soooo much better than the finished product could ever hope to taste?

why do you think dogs are so indiscriminate with their affections and cats
are so choosy?

when did we become a nation where apathy is normal?

before i get back to more mindless clicking on facebook apps, i'd like to share
this cute little cartoon with ya'll!

patience...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:14:00 +0000

"Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father.

Actually, when we are unduly impatient,

we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God.

Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His.

We can grow in faith only if we are willing to wait patiently for

God's purposes and patterns to unfold in our lives, on His timetable."

--Elder Neal A. Maxwell

a fool you say?

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:12:00 +0000

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss
at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
–Honore de Balzac

the friday five...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 14:40:00 +0000

the friday five...it kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it? after participating
last week, i've decided to do it again and maybe next week as well, if i remember!

without further ado, here's my random 5 minutes-

it's so quiet here this morning. daniel spent the night with jamie, james
is still sleeping and danny is out and about on the property. as much as
i'm enjoying it, there's something a little un-nerving about it. even the
finches are quiet.

i've been praising God the the good news a family member got this week.
things are looking up for their particular situation and i hope the trend
continues.

my situation with daughter #4 is still miserable, however, but there is nothing
i can do except wait it out and hope she comes to her senses. i will not defend
myself to her nor will i choose one child over another, which is sometime she
apparently expects me to do. i WILL try to be patient, pray that our heavenly
Father softens her heart, and hope she never finds herself in the same situation
with her own children.

i find myself wondering what kind of person she's grown into.
everyone gets angry, and i'll admit, some of her anger is justified,
but the meanness.....
the ugliness, the sheer cussedness of it all, i cannot pretend to understand.
my beautiful baby girl has grown into someone who uses words
and actions like some people would use a knife and uses her family
as justification for it all. it's so sad and my heart is breaking for her.
the things she is saying and doing cannot be unsaid or undone.

when you read this, as i know you will, please know that your mama
loves you. that has never changed, just as it has not changed for your
siblings. we may be apart for a season, but i'll be here waiting when
you decide to come back home.

enough of that. i allow it to consume far too much of my time as it is.
i need to just give it up to God and leave it there.
He is the great Healer and He can perform miracles, even today,
if we allow Him to. He knows my heart and understands me well.

i think i'm going to tag a couple of people to participate in "the friday five"
next week. maybe it will spur us all on to blog a little more often.

terri at just a flip flop mom and
ronnie at whatcha do today?

can consider themselves officially tagged for this meme!

the fives....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 17:54:00 +0000

shamelessly stolen from the suburban gypsy, who shamelessly stole it from her bff, beth! LOL

basically what you do is write whatever comes to mind in a five minute time frame. it can be silly, random, poignant, nostalgic, sappy, sexy… whatever. i rarely keep it under five minutes but the goal is to write for at least five.

here goes nothing:

i am really really tired of reading that obama is the antichrist. true, i believe we serve different masters, but antichrist? that's giving him a bit too much credit, in my opinion.

i love junk food. there, i've said it. there is nothing better, to me, than a greasy taco, or double cheeseburger.

i was told by someone yesterday that looking at internet porn is alot like real life immorality. either one can get you a virus you can't get rid of. kind of profound, isn't it?

i love to fish. i really don't care if i catch anything at all.....but fishing is wonderful.

it's immensely liberating to me to have finally let go of a problem i've been struggling with to let God deal with it in His time and His way. i still wish things were playing out differently than they are right now, but i'm no longer tilting at windmills.

is bottled teriyaki sauce really any good? i have a few chicken breasts in the freezer and some nice fresh brocolli. i was thinking about a stir fry. sounds good to me and to caitlyn. i guess the men will just deal with it. i'll make them a pan of brownies to soothe their ruffled culinary feathers, just in case.

i spent more time thinking about what i'm gonna type than i actually spend typing. somehow i think that takes some of the randomness away.

i'd rather drink generic diet caffiene free cola than real diet coke.

i'd love to have another baby. (yes, i know i've probably lost my mind)

i love all the housewife shows on bravo tv. i do think they all give new meaning to the word
trashy....but i watch 'em anyway. they really do prove that money can't buy class and breeding will tell true every time!

and the timer just went off so my five minutes are up. how about ya'll? what randomness can you come up with in just 5 minutes? i'd love to read it!

the game...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 21:12:00 +0000

you lost! "the game"

one good man...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:58:00 +0000

i can't wait for this one!

let's talk about family....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:40:00 +0000

i'm opening a can of worms here, aren't i?
everyone has something to say about family. good, bad or indifferent.
each of us has one, whether or not we claim them, they are ours.
completely and irrevocably...now and for forever.

in a family, of any size, there is fussing and fighting,
but when you have a large family, as we do, the fussing gets out of hand
from time to time. siblings get sucked in, heck, so do the parents,
things are said that shouldn't have been
and the vow to cut so and so completely from your life, is made.

chips on shoulders become so large and unwieldy that they are almost visible.
they weigh us down to the extent that our emotions are crippled
from carrying them around with us as our constant companions.
we pretend to be unaffected, but the chip is still there,
coloring each and every one of our day to day activities.
others see it, but we turn our heads the other way,
put our noses up and refuse to see the reality of it all.

the reality being.....it hurts. it hurts alot and it doesn't stop hurting.
we can pretend otherwise, we can allow our own stiffneckedness
to hang on to the chip and espouse to all that will listen that we're just fine,
but it still hurts.

Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others.
Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang,
a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness,
based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps;
that any limb you climb out on
will still be there later for you to climb back.
~Mignon McLaughlin

why is it so hard to realize that it's ok to disagree?
that it's ok to live your life differently than others live theirs?
why must we insist, that within the same family,
that all are alike with the sameness of cookie cutouts?
we tell society to celebrate the differences among us,
but within the family unit, it's a sin.

why can't we all agree to live and let live
and on the few occasions during the year that we all get together
(or should get together) agree to smile and play nicely for a few hours?
why can't everyone realize how unfair it is to put someone in the position
of having to be a social secretary, ever mindful of not inviting this one
and that one at the same time for fear that another argument will breakout or worse,
that no one will come at all?

how fair is it to deny family bonding to others in order to satisfy yourself?
can your own differences not be put aside for a little while? please?
if you cannot do these things for your parents and siblings,
do it for the children for the children surely deserve a relationship with their family.

The lack of emotional security of our American young people is due,
I believe, to their isolation from the larger family unit.
No two people - no mere father and mother - as I have often said,
are enough to provide emotional security for a child.
He needs to feel himself one in a world of kinfolk,
persons of variety in age and temperament,
and yet allied to himself by an indissoluble bond which he cannot break if he could,
for nature has welded him into it before he was born.
~Pearl S. Buck

a few years ago, we lost our son/brother to suicide. has that taught us nothing?
do we not know now, if not before, how short this life is?
it could happen to any of us at any time, leaving those still here filled with regrets,
things left unsaid/undone, apologies unspoken. would any of us not give ANYTHING
to have one more minute with him....to say i love you, i'm sorry or any one of a
thousand other things?

you are NOT ok when your family is broken. it affects you in everything you do.
you cannot and should not be responsible for fixing it all but you should leave
yourself open to be part of the fix.

to MY family-i love each and every one of you more that i have words to express.
none of us are perfect, but we are a part of each other. forever.

i hope none of you will take this as a finger being pointed, but rather examine own your
hearts and know that the door is open should you decide to use it.

hanging on by a thread...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:06:00 +0000

i feel like a frog.

throw a frog directly into boiling water, and it will jump right
back out again. but....place one in cool water and gradually
increase the heat to boiling and that darn frog will stay right
there and let itself be cooked.

i'm that frog.

i keep thinking of things and events, long forgotten (as they should
be) and agonizing over what i should have done or said differently.
wondering what impact it would have on my life if i'd turned right
instead of left or had chicken for supper instead of the beef.

i really don't know what's going on with me but i have to trust that it
will soon pass as i cannot continue on this course forever.

if anyone still reads this blog, please remember me in your prayers!

my sinful nature.....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:25:00 +0000

there's this thing i have about chocolate cake. all things
chocolate, actually. when i eat chocolate, i want it to be
so good that it feels like i'm sinning.
i found a chocolate cake recipe last week that is THAT
good.

the recipe is for a bundt cake and it was probably written
back in the 70s when bundt's were having their heyday.
it's every bit as good today.....rich, chocolaty and moist.
easy to bake as well. i hope ya'll enjoy it as much as we did.

HERSHEY'S COCOA BUNDT CAKE

This recipe was in an old Hershey's recipe give-away.

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cup Hershey's cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
3 eggs
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cups buttermilk or sour milk*
1 tsp vanilla extract
Chocolate Glaze (recipe below)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Generously grease and flour
(or spray with cooking spray)
a 12-cup Bundt pan. In the large mixer bowl, blend flour,
sugar, cocoa, baking soda, baking powder, and salt; add
remaining ingredients except chocolate glaze. Beat on low
speed for 1 minute, scraping bowl constantly. Beat on high
speed for 3 minutes, scraping bowl occasionally. Pour batter
into prepared Bundt pan. Bake for 50 to 55 minutes or until
a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
Cool 10 minutes; remove from pan and place on a wire rack
to cool completely. Drizzle with the chocolate glaze.

Yield: 12 to 16 servings

*If you don't have buttermilk, you can use 1 1/2 tablespoons
vinegar or lemon juice plus milk to equal 1 1/2 cups. Allow to sit
for a couple of minutes before using.

Chocolate Glaze:

1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup water
1 cup Hershey's Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips or Mini-Chips

In a small saucepan, bring water and sugar to a rolling boil,
stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Remove pan from heat.
Immediately add the chocolate chips. Stir mixture with a wire
whisk until the chips are melted and the mixture is smooth.
Cool until slightly thickened. Drizzle over top of cake.

still treading water......

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:27:00 +0000

we're still pretty wet, but things are beginning to dry out.
there is a bloom of algae over the soil in my "used to be a garden"
and the chicken runs stink to high heaven.

i finally solved part of the problem by heaping hay in half of each
pen......when it became saturated, i'd heap on some more, sprinkle
it with DE and do the same thing the next day. i probably have about
8 inches of compacted hay in each run at this point and i'm surely
not looking forward to mucking it all out but it DID put a bandaid on
my problem.

we're going to bring in a couple of loads of sand and when the ground
dries, danny will be putting in french drains around the pens. we can
direct the water out toward the power line easement as it's the last place
to flood hereabouts. as a matter of fact, that's where our back pond drains
when it over flows.

people are really good. when i told the folks on my marans chicken list about
losing my birds to all this water, a very generous soul offered to send me hatching
eggs in an effort to replace them! his birds are out of a line i've been coveting
(bev davis) and they are truly beautiful marans! thank you robert, your
generosity is much appreciated and will not be forgotten!

all this moisture is not only affecting my birds outside, but also my incubators in
the house. out of 24 heritage black and chocolate turkey eggs, it looks like only a
half a dozen or so are going to make it out of the shell. mostly it looks like they've
drowned once they pipped into the air cell. i've been noticing that the humidity in
the bators has been way too high and the air cells were simply not big enough when
it came time for these little guys to make their way into the world. instead of air,
they met with liquid and drowned before they ever had a chance, poor little guys.

the quail are still popping like popcorn though........
thank goodness, these lil fellas will be my money crop for the
next couple of months, hopefully allowing me to meet my
feed bill, at least. looks like we'll be eating alot of beans and
eggs for the next little while.
c'est la vie, i guess. i'm grateful to have that......so many folks don't these days.

be careful what you wish for......

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Sat, 23 May 2009 19:09:00 +0000

remember last week when i was bemoaning our lack of water?

THIS week, we were besieged with 17 inches of rain! the ponds
have over flowed their banks, there is a ton of standing water in
the pasture, the chicken runs are under water and my garden is
dying. the dogs are terminally stinky and the fire ants are really
mad!

feast or famine. there doesn't seem to be any in between in the
lost world. so now we wait for the water to recede and then
access the damages. thank goodness we built this house on stilts!

i moved the chicken tractors under the house, so the youngest of the
growers are high and dry.......but there are dozens of chickens in the runs
that are wading and slogging thru the mud, poor things. the only critters
enjoying this are the ducks and geese.....and i'm sure THEY think it's
just fine and dandy!

danny has spent days digging ditches trying to get some of the water to
drain off......but frankly, there isn't anywhere for it to go. everything
below us is saturated, so we have no choice but to just sit tight and wait
for nature to accomplish what we cannot and dread the upcoming battle
with hoards of mosquitos that is sure to come next.

saturday night update: i'm afraid the garden is going to be a total loss.
i've seen plants wilt from the summer sun and heat, but never from
having their feet too wet. the magels are turning to mush,
the watermelon are all but gone, the tomatos,
heavy with small fruit, have given up the ghost and even the zuchinni look
to be on their last legs. most of it, i'll try to replant, in spite of the coming heat,
and keep my fingers crossed that we get some kind of harvest.

tonight, i have a new respect for those who've gone before us. i cannot
imagine the heartaches they must have endured at the mercy of the
elements.

what a weekend! oy vey!

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Mon, 18 May 2009 16:36:00 +0000

thursday evening, i came up to the house, after feeding, to prepare
dinner. i got about halfway thru with my preps when the water in the
kitchen slowed to a trickle and then stopped. danny went out to check
and found no burst hoses, no leaks and finally, a pump that wasn't
working. they discovered friday, that the pump was dead....caput, finis,
el endo.

poor danny, he had to haul water for all the animals until sunday, which
is when we finally bought a new pump and got it installed---a whopping
expense for us right now...so whopping, it leaves me without grocery
money. thank goodness for food storage!

early sunday morning, around 4 am, i awoke hot and sweaty with a vague
sense of unease. i had pilgrim geese hatching in the 'bators, so i stumbled
over to take a look and discovered 4 cold still incubators and a non working
a/c unit. i have no idea how long the incubators were down, but they were
reading temps in the 80s *sighs*

i got them all moved and plugged in to other outlets and now i'm praying that
they weren't down too long as they are loaded with my "money crop"-coturnix quail
and some long awaited blue, black and splash ameracauna eggs and heritage chocolate
turkey eggs.

the three little pilgrim goslings hatched unscathed.........all females which means
i am STILL without a male for next year. maybe someone who reads this has
pilgrim geese that are still laying and will take pity on me by sending a few hatching
eggs my way. l i've imprinted the little goslings in hopes they will be more people
oriented than the other geese hereabouts. the first night, they slept cuddled up
under my neck and now danny calls me goose girl in addition to the crazy chicken
lady!

at any rate......we have water again and i took the longest bath of my life last
night *grins* it felt positively luxurious! i'm sure i smell much better. it was
great to wash dishes in the sink again instead of a bucket and the animals were
much much easier to water with the hose instead of dipped out of a barrel.

today is being spent mostly inside as the earth is soothed with some much
longed for and needed rain. it promises to continue thru tomorrow and already
things look much greener outside my window. with the rainly season beginning,
the ponds will fill and lessen the need for the kiddie pools i have around for the
water fowl and in doing so, relieve me of one more chore for a while.

i've been thinking....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Thu, 14 May 2009 14:46:00 +0000

that i lumped all commercial poultry farms into one
bunch in my previous post.

to those of you who raise your chickens in
a healthy humane manner, i apologize. i know
there are those of you who genuinely care about
the birds you are keeping and i applaud you.

but even one factory farm, with the deplorable
conditions illustrated in that video, is too much
and we should ALL be actively working to shut 'em
down. are cheap grocery store eggs really worth THAT?

why i raise my own chickens.....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:54:00 +0000

mammoth.....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Tue, 05 May 2009 01:32:00 +0000

Mammoth

by Robert Wrigley

Returning the refilled feeder to its hanger on the tree,
I am followed, and from my first step out the door
to the careful slipping of the loop of twine over the hook's tang
made to understand – as he darts within inches of my eyes –
that this hummingbird, while he may not despise me,
finds my human dawdling not simply unacceptable but offensive,
a lumbering no less appalling than the moonscape of my face
and its billion plumbable pores. Even the vast tidal wash
of my infernal, slow-witted breathing disgusts him. Therefore he loops
so swiftly around me I can hardly blink, and when I tell him he is
beautiful, he hears only the two ton roar of a woolly mammoth
as it thrashes in a bog, at the edges of which, this time of year,
the red, sweet flowers he loves most of all still thrive.

i'm in love!.....again!

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:01:00 +0000

look what i found!

a few months ago, i lost my pilgrim gander to a bobcat attack.
shortly after that, his girls starting laying and ultimately went
broody......on dud eggs. poor girls.......all that work and waiting for
nothing.

enter the soft touch, namely me. i just couldn't bear the thought
of them coming out at the other end of their broodiness with nothing
to show for their efforts, so i got a few chinese x eggs from my friend,
kathy, and bought a few pilgrim eggs on ebay. i snuck 'em under the
girls under cover of darkness one night and let them settle down to wait.

while making my rounds this morning, i came across this in one nest:

upon further investigation, i found these little guys hiding
in the weeds, mama nearby:

ahhhhhh! look at that little face! yup! i'm in love!

entry from my daybook...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:12:00 +0000

For today: (tuesday, april 28, 2009) i will remind myself that it's not
my job to be all things to all people. ultimately, my children are responsible
for their own happiness, especially as adults.

Outside my window: the sun is shining and there's a warm breeze blowing.
it was so cool this morning, it's hard to imagine that the summer months
are nearly upon us

I am thinking: of the many things i need to get listed on freecycle.
the clutter is growing and growing.

I am thankful that: i am having such a good hatching season.
those little fluffy butts are the BEST thing for lifting my spirits.
the royal palm turkey hen is finally setting on eggs. i was beginning
to despair that it would never happen as the tom seemingly wasn't
interested in doing his job, preferring to stalk me instead. dirty bird.

From the kitchen: dinner tonight will be spaghetti meat sauce.
i'm baking cinnamon raisin bread and country white bread.
if i feel ambitious, i'll bake a couple of loaves of french bread too and
it's been far too long since i filled the cookie jar for my men folk.

I am going to be working on: cleaning brooders and getting the compost
turned. the parrot cages could use my attention too and i have
pepper plants to set out in the garden.

I am wearing: cutoff jeans and a blue flowered tshirt

I am reading: my scriptures, and a few poultry supply catalogs

I am hoping to watch: anything but ESPN *grins*

I am hearing: chicks cheeping away in the brooders, the cockatiels
fussing back and forth at one another and whatever danny is watching
on the history channel.

Around the house: general disarray. there is powder from the
chick feathers everywhere, no matter how on top of the dusting i stay.
thank goodness for the shop vac danny dragged upstairs for me....
it makes mucking out the brooders a 1-2-3 deal. easy as pie.
i wonder why i've never thought of it before?

One of my favourite things: spending alone time with my husband.

A picture i'd like to share:

a great blue heron at our back pond

it was a good weekend....

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:01:00 +0000

i had a very nice hatch of little easter egger chicks. they're as
cute as can be with their multi colored hues and will, in due time
be adding their blue and green eggs to the flock's daily offering.

have you ever tried to photograph day old chicks in
a basket? let's just say it was....interesting! *grins*

saturday was errand day and danny and i actually got away by
ourselves. *gasps* we made the rounds of the feed and grocery
stores and then actually made time to have lunch together at a cute
little diner in the booming metropolis of osteen, florida. could we
afford it? no......but it was still money well spent.
it's been too dadgum long in between times and it was really nice
to share a leisurely lunch sitting across the table from my beloved.

sunday arrived bringing with it one of those picture perfect florida days.
the sun was shining and the breeze was just enough to keep it from being too
hot. i put a bunch of chicken on the smoker early in the morning and when
everyone finished up with church, brianna, david and the boys came down
for a barbecue.

is there anything tastier than meat smoked over a real hardwood fire?
i think not, and when you add baked beans, corn on the cob, nebilled eggs
and homemade bread to the mix, you have a feast fit for a king!

we all ate entirely too much and as the sun set and we all went our separate
ways, we knew we'd enjoyed ourselves and life in the lost world was
pretty darn good.

gratitude...

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 13:35:00 +0000

as i awoke this morning and stepped out onto the front porch to watch
the little humming birds going all guerrilla warfare at their feeders,
it struck me, that in spite of the bumps in the road, how happy i am just to be alive.
i have so much to be grateful for and some days i spend so much time
focusing on the negative and doing the "poor me" dance,
that i lose sight of all the good things in my life.

i have a wonderful husband and while there are times he's not wildly
supportive of my dreams, he quietly acquiesces even as i set up another
brooder in the living room, put still more eggs in the incubator or ask
him to build another run in the chicken yard.

i have a daughter and son-in-love right down the road who are
unfailingly supportive and would do anything for us, including
driving me around to do errands (no small feat) and hauling animals
to the auction for me when i need them to.

i have a 15 year old son who is genuinely a good kid.
yes, he's a 15 year old boy *eye roll*
but he's a good one--kind, compassionate and thoughtful (most of the time).
he's my partner in crime with the animals, and i appreciate him immensely.

i can sit out on my front porch and watch the deer wander across the property
at sundown now that they're finally used to the huge new pond in the front
pasture and listen to the kids splash and play in the same pond on hot afternoons.

i have my chickens and space enough for as big a garden as i could want
and the means to preserve all the bounty from both.

i work hard enough to sleep well at night and wake up in the morning
without too many sore muscles and i have aspirin for those.

i have more than enough to eat, the means to cool myself when it's hot and
warm myself when it's cold and a more or less sound roof over my head.

i have clean water, mascara, english muffins and oatmeal with apples and
cinnamon. i have this computer, a dollar in my pocket, lots of books to read
and good mind to process the information found in them. i have light when
it's dark, the freedom to worship as i choose, hand lotion and my crocs.

all in all, i have to say it's a good life and i am grateful for it.

it's time to get those hatching eggs packaged up to mail and about a
bazillion buckeye eggs into the incubator. gina, i have a couple of orders
to get out but lookout for some more buckeye eggs from me real soon!

heartbreak.....and hope

noreply@blogger.com (jayedee) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:50:00 +0000

my life, of late, seems to have been a series of heartbreaks and setbacks.
i've made some of the hardest decisions of my life over the past couple of months
and so far, been able to stick to them, thanks to a heavenly Father who is ever
faithful to me even as i struggle to be faithful to Him.

some days, i have not done this with much grace, but i've managed nonetheless.
most days i waffle, going back and forth within my own head, giving it over to
God and then snatching it back again. today, thankfully, i am in giving it to God mode.

some days i wonder how i'll get thru it all.......but then i remind myself about the dark
days following my son's suicide. you CAN get used to anything. it will hurt, you
will cry, and some nights will last forever, but dadgum it, you WILL get thru it.

God allows you "busy work" to keep your mind focused on something other than yourself.
i'm having the busiest hatching season i've ever had, taking on far more than i've ever
been comfortable with before and loving it!

He has a way of placing special people in your life during your darkest days. they
make you smile, pray for you, (kim, girl i FEEL those prayers)
drag you out of the house when you don't think you can go and help to keep you
from taking yourself too seriously. some of these folks are only in your life for a season,
others are fixtures that will endure.

for those of you who keep checking this blog to see if i've posted, thank you for not giving up
on me!