… (sigh)… As Oscar intoned at the end of his webcam message “It gets better… maybe not much better… but better.” I was hoping, considering that this will be the last “Scrantonicity,” to go out with a big bang. Now, the best I can do with this paltry material is a little bang. Maybe a slightly bigger bang if a good deleted scene is released. Maybe it gets “bang-er.” (By the way, the whole “It Gets Better” movement, a worthy project to help bullied teenagers, was started by a guy right here in Seattle.)

We’ll get right to the few local product placements that appeared in this episode. There was an Utz barrel o’ pretzels in a different location than the usual spot on top of the fridge. I imagine the prop department saw an empty horizontal surface, and like good interior decorators with an eye for “what works,” they filed that space with the appropriate barrel-shape. Kelly delivers a line standing right next to the Pocono Springs water cooler, the most prominent screen time that product has ever gotten. A toy ServiceMaster truck is seen on Stanley’s desk, and there happens to be a ServiceMaster franchise located right in downtown Scranton. Oddly enough, the street address of the cleaning business is not listed, but the indicator on the map of Scranton puts ServiceMaster on the corner of Mulberry and… Mifflin Avenue. “Mifflin,” of course, being one-half of the immortal “Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company.” I’ve never read or heard anything about the origins of that famous fictional name, but that can’t be just a coincidence.

The most enjoyable local sighting for me was when Andy, the undercover janitor, was taking out the trash by the elevator. He has a clear plastic bag in each arm, and visible in one of the bags is the front page of the Scranton Times-Tribune newspaper. Not only was I not expecting to find anything in that scene, but it was shocking to me that the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company obviously does not recycle newspapers! They just cavalierly toss them in the trash. This is a company that appears to be committed to sustainable practices around the office; the break room is littered with pamphlets and posters denouncing wasteful use of resources. Andy drives a hybrid Prius car. Sabre has even provided all the employees with reusable, stainless steel drinking containers, which must get used, at least on those rare occasions when folks aren’t sipping on a Wegman’s soda. Or maybe now, the Japanese energy drink in the jaunty pink can. (The can is labeled with Japanese characters that translate to “Gay Energy.” The Office prop department, once again, is on it, dog-gonnit!

Which brings us to the apparently obligatory high-speed car chase scene, that no self-respecting season finale would be without. Dwight takes off with a DNA-filled dirty diaper, and he is followed in hot poop-pursuit by Angela. Anytime “The Office” takes to the great outdoors, they run the risk of badly breaking the spell of their “northeastern Pennsylvania” setting. The semi-arid southern California landscape is a poor substitute for the Scranton area, with its lush, leafy, low-mountain scenery. I’ve often felt they should use a “blue-screen” backdrop with their car interior shots, superimposing footage of real eastern seaboard foliage, and maybe even a local landmark or two. That would be a hoot, but maybe it is too expensive or time-consuming, or maybe the final result just looks too phony. I know the “misty mini-mart” where Jim dropped down on one knee to propose to Pam looked great, even though it was filmed in an otherwise empty “Best Buy” southern California parking lot. But that cost over one hundred grand to recreate; maybe it is better to just judiciously pick and choose the backgrounds. And they backgrounds they picked and chose for this car chase weren’t too too bad. The terrain was much too flat at the start of the chase, as the cars supposedly screeched from the Scranton Business Park. It looked as if they were roaring through the Badlands of South Dakota. After that, they were seen jockeying on a highway with some good-sized rolling hills beside them; that looked rather decent, in an ersatz Pocono-y sort of way. Then, when the Trans-Am switcheroo took place with Cousin Mose, I actually recognized the housing subdivision as the one right next to where they film in Van Nuys, California. It’s just a few hundred convenient yards away from the Dunder-Mifflin “office.” At least NBC TV is not out wasting gas on some far-flung locale.

During the car chase, Dwight got on his walkie-talkie with Mose to discuss “Operation Phoenix.” I know it’s not important to the plot, but this would have been the perfect opportunity to toss a local city in there; “Operation Old Forge” would have sounded good there. So would “Operation Olyphant…” These are good, local, workable “operations!”

Finally, Dwight and Angela end up at the unnamed “lab” to wait for the DNA testing. The interior of the lab looked similar to the lobby of the “Mercy Hospital” as portrayed on an earlier Office episode, but I didn’t see anything to identify this place. The only recognizable “anything” in this scene is a copy of “Preservation” Magazine, which I imagine Dwight and Angela will eventually thumb through during their 72 hour wait for the DNA test results.

Well, that’s all, folks! Thanks for coming along with me on this ride. As a native of the Scranton area, I have really enjoyed chronicling the many local references on the show. Even when there wasn’t much to speak of, it was fun looking. There are worse things to have to do then to watch an episode of “The Office” closely. And it was always fun to hear from readers who had something to point out that I missed, or to add their own observations. Oh, and I should also thank “The Office,” itself, and their ever-vigilant, hard-working prop department… without you to put that stuff there, there would be no need for us to look for it. Which barely makes sense, but somehow that’s OK.

~ Bob

Harry explains why the employees at the Syracuse branch are just as interesting as the Scranton branch; proving that all offices everywhere are pretty much the same. He even tries giving some interesting looks to the camera:

Dwight makes sure not to throw the baby out with the bath water, I mean car seat. Darryl has a new secret friend:

Toby takes Lloyd Gross to the next level. Erin finds Darryl’s secret friend; or does she?

In a drunken stupor, Robert California closes the Dunder-Mifflin Binghamton branch. This is interesting, because since the show began, there was never any mention of a Binghamton branch. Or a Syracuse branch, either. The “official” Dunder-Mifflin “website” listed (along with Scranton) Akron, Ohio, Albany and Utica, New York, Nashua, New Hampshire, and the late, great Stamford, Connecticut branch. The website now has Robert California’s drunken rant posted, which you can read here. His “statement” has obviously been written under the influence of “Australian reds and Columbian whites.”

Looking at a map, Binghamton was the perfect choice for a “turf war.” The city is located 60 miles away from Scranton, a straight shot north on Interstate 81. It is also 66 miles from Syracuse, straight down south on I-81. It is just over the state line in New York. I remember this fact well, because when I was growing up, the legal age for consuming alcohol in New York State was eighteen, while it was 21 in Pennsylvania. So, there were very many under-twenty-one-ers who ill-advisedly made that excursion north to the bars of Binghamton. I was one of them, and although it seemed like a good idea at the time, it was really an incredibly stupid open invitation to drink and drive. I’m glad that every state is now on the same page with the drinking age! Whenever I hear the name “Binghamton” mentioned, that is the first thing I think of. Whoa… what a sobering thought.

The business that is the “prize” in this Dunder-Mifflin turf war is “Prestige Direct Mail Solutions.” Google lists two “Prestige Solutions;” one in Fort Lauderdale, and the other in Miami, Florida. According to the map, those two cities are only 27 miles apart. Hmm…  two competing business with the same name in close proximity; that could be a real “turf war” there.

Harry Gennarone, the disgruntled salesman from Syracuse, confronts Robert California in the break room, while Andy is washing dishes in the sink. Robert California is doing his usual stall-tactic song-and-dance in front of the break room refrigerator. There are so many posters and menus and refrigerator magnets from the area that I can’t quite make out! I’ve already identified the Scranton branch of the “Best Friends Animal Society,” and Keystone College, but there are several business cards with print too small to see; there’s a magnet of a mystery delivery truck. I did hit paydirt on a few of them: Caljean’s Vending, located in nearby Archbald, Pa. They would be ones responsible for filling the Crystal Club soda machine. But… why would they ever have to fill it? Everyone in the office is always shown drinking Wegman’s soda pop. Another big new score was the menu posted on the storage cabinet next to Andy’s head as he washed dishes. That would be for the local restaurant Tiffany’s Tap And Grill. Tiffany’s is located in Eynon, Pa, which is not too far from where my wife Ann grew up in Jermyn.

Pam sits down with Nellie in the break room, at a table with the Scranton Weekender newspaper on it. In front of the Weekender is a coffee mug with a flowered logo that is labeled Jaya. That is a yoga and pilates studio located in nearby Clark’s Summit. Also, Nellie is buttering her bagel from a tub of Wegman’s margarine. I couldn’t really see any writing on the margarine tub, but I could see a graphic of a li’l red farmhouse above a colorful swoosh. Since Wegman’s house brands are everywhere around Dunder-Mifflin, I simply googled their margarine, and voilà: farmhouse and swoosh! (Do you like that neat-o French accent grave over the a in violà? On a Mac, type option + [~], then the letter. Directions for a PC are here. That’s almost as cool as an umläut!)

Finally, this last observation is clear-cut proof that the “Office” people are on to super-sleuths like me, and they are determined to mess with our heads. When Dwight, Jim and Harry Gennarone enter the reception area of Prestige Solutions, they are met by the CEO, Mr. Romish. He walks out of his office with a large bright blue ball in his left hand. After a few seconds, the ball has inexplicably changed in color to bright orange. The only possible explanation would be to amuse those of us that are watching the show so closely! I really appreciate finding the tiniest details that the prop department covers, like Syracuse Harry’s New York license plate on his car, visible for about one-half second. But the blue-to-orange ball switcheroo? That’s just unadulterated fun, kemosabe!

~ Bob

The cold opening involves an internet hoax about the “death” of Motown legend Smokey Robinson. Ryan is crying crocodile tears over Smokey’s supposed demise. When the hoax is finally exposed as an untruth, Ryan is lamenting on and on about not having seen this legend in person, and how “now it is too late.” Jim Halpert helpfully finds the great, not-yet-late Smokey Robinson appearing in concert in State Park, Pa, which Jim points out is only three hours away from Scranton. I attended Penn State University for one year at State College, Pa, so I’m familiar with that three hour drive. As an aside, the “Smokey Robinson concert,” if it was real, would probably be taking place at the Bryce Jordan Center, which seats 15,261… or the State Theatre, which seats 571. Hmm… I think one of those venues is too big, and the other one is too small. My guess is that Smokey Robinson would draw a crowd right in the middle of that.

Robert California comes loping into Dunder-Mifflin, and Daryl says “Nice tie.” Robert grabs at his throat and wails that wearing a tie always makes him feel like he is being choked, like at an “erotic asphyxiation sex club.” He then helpfully adds, “like the one up on I-84, the Red Room… or Dominick’s.” First of all, there will always be a soft spot in my heart for I-84, because my very first date with my wife was a magical drive up I-84 to Promised Land State Park. Also, my very first bartending job was in a humble, little Holiday Inn at the intersection of I-81, l-380 and l-84. And, amazingly, my very first experience in an erotic asphyxiation sex club was a hot, gripping, hands-on affair off of I-84… uh, just kidding on that one, folks. Not surprisingly, there is no “Red Room” in Scranton, Pa. There is a “Dominick’s,” but it is a tailor shop, where the only “choking” would probably involve a too-tight collar on a fitted dress shirt. Besides, the name might be spelled “Dominix,” anyway. And speaking of spelling, I had the darn-dest time spelling “asphyxiation.” Wow, that was a hard one, no TWSS intended.

In a bubbly talking head, Angela is obviously quite proud of her husband, Robert Lipton, the Pennsylvania state senator from the Northern 22nd District. Of course, The Office did their homework on this one, as Lackawanna County is in the Northern 22nd District. The real-life state senator is Democrat John P. Blake. I wonder if he is enjoying this offbeat 15 minutes of fame?

Next we are shown the exterior of the hotel where the banner reads “The Scranton Animal Welfare Society Honors Robert Lipton.” I can’t quite put my finger on why, but the 9-story hotel looks appropriately Scranton-istic to me. There’s something about the nice but no-nonsense architecture that just “feels” like Scranton. They probably found that hotel on a busy boulevard in the San Fernando valley, and there were no pesky palm trees they needed to edit out of the shot. In any case, they obviously took care with finding the right building.

Dwight is wandering around the silent auction in the hotel ballroom, and I saw some neat examples of bona-fide “Scrantonicity:” There is a “3 day adventure” package being offered by the Skytop Lodge,” which actually gets mentioned when Dwight eventually wins the prize. There is a deal from a home alarm company called “Security Solutions,” which is located in Peckville, Pa. (I used to drive through little Peckville on my way to Ann’s house when we were dating.) There is a deluxe gift basket of premium coffees from a company whose logo I can’t quite make out. But I have hope that I will find it, or somebody reading this will step up and identify the place. There probably aren’t too many premium coffee companies in the area.

One business logo that can clearly be seen at the silent auction is “Flexopolis Gym.” I quickly Googled it to see if it is real; imagine my surprise when the first Google “hit” turns out to be an old “Scrantonicity” column of mine from May 10, 2010! In the comments section, alert LITO reader Dave O. points out that Dwight visits the fictitious “Flexopolis Gym” in the episode “The Cover-Up.” So, the “Flexopolis Gym”  has been around the Office “world” for a few years; not bad for a place that doesn’t exist.

After the MC calls out “Skytop Lodge,” she also mentions ther prizes that Dwight had the winning bid on: “Scranton Bikram Yoga,” and the “Kissing Magician.” There is no “Kissing Magician” listed in Scranton, Pa, much to Nellie Bertram’s relief. But there is a “Steamtown Hot Yoga,” which practices the Bikram style. I like the thought of Steamtown Hot Yoga… steamy hot, I suppose. The last business name-checked in this episode is written on the bag of tacos that Daryl buys: “Taco Hut,” which is a fictitious name, probably a combination of “Taco Bell,” and “Pizza Hut,” which I believe share the same corporate headquarters.

On the “bid” sheet for the “Security Solutions” home alarm services package, there are several signatures. Besides “Dwight Schrute,” the other clear name submitting a bid is “Shannon Goesling.” I always think these are opportunities for a friendly shout-out from the show, although no obvious candidates emerge from a Google search.

When Andy is behaving badly, Meredith derisively calls him a “jabrone.” Stanley seconds the notion that Andy is a “jabrone.” According to the Urban Dictionary, “jabrone,” is sort of a pseudo-Italian insult hurled by pseudo-Italian wanna-be tough guys. I’ve never heard this particular phrase before, but I know that the Scranton area had its share of tough-talkin’ guys when I lived there; guys that had cajones. Do jabrones have cajones?

One last Scrantonicity sighting: When Kevin is lying on the floor in his house, playing with his new wonder-dog Ruby, there is an end table behind him with a Lion’s Head beer bottle on it. I love the idea that for a 30 second scene, the prop department said “Hold on… this is supposed to be Kevin Malone’s crib; there should be at least one local beer visible!”

~ Bob

Well, as it turns out, no. Because “Angry Andy” brings almost nothing new to the table, as far as Scranton references. We are told that Gabe has tickets to an “air show,” so I searched for scheduled local performances, perhaps at the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton International Airport at nearby Avoca. Nothing in the air there. The closest aeronautical show would be the famous Blue Angels performing their acrobatic stunts on June 23rd in Latrobe, Pennsylvania. Latrobe is located far to the west of Scranton, on the other side of the state. Mister Rogers (of the famous “Neighborhood”) and Arnold Palmer were born there, and Rolling Rock beer was brewed there. Oh, and the banana split was invented there. Uh… so there’s that.

When Jim and Pam are sitting in the break room, talking with Kelly and Doctor Ravi, there are two copies of the Electric City newspaper on the table. This is the free local weekly arts and entertainment paper. One copy is in front of Jim and Pam, and the other in front of Kelly and Ravi. Maybe they were searching for something to do on an upcoming double date. I know there is an Indian restaurant close to Dunder-Mifflin in nearby Moosic, Pa, called the Amber Indian. That is, if any of them are into Indian food. Maybe naan of them are. I like basmati rice simmered in garam masala sauce, myself. I’ll have to try the Amber Indian next time I’m in town.

Robert California is featured in a talking head in the break room. Off to the side are two products that I’ve never seen before on the show bearing the Wegman’s house brand label: Wegman’s Honey, and Wegman’s Hot Cocoa Mix. Which brings up (in my mind) a salient, thought-provoking point: In the hilarious cold opening, if Phyllis spouts every one of her tired “rainy day’ clichés by noon, Jim Halpert will magnanimously “send out” for hot chocolate for everyone. Why? Is there a nearby coffee shop that makes drop-dead good  hot chocolate, better that what they can make themselves with the Wegman’s Hot Cocoa mix? This “special” speciality shop had better be real close by, if the chocolate drinks are to retain their desired heat while being delivered. Hmm… Is Hank the security guard in the lobby this “mystery barista” who makes such award-winning cocoa? Inquiring minds want to know!

There is a scene in the break room where everybody is having lunch, when Ryan storms in to defend his impugned romantic reputation. After several weeks of The Office  being staged in Tallahassee, Florida, and on the long road back to Pennsylvania, I was tired of struggling to identify the various beverages that people were drinking. I never did find out what Andy and Erin had in their hands outside of Savannah. That’s why it was such a pleasure to get back to the Dunder-Mifflin Scranton branch, where everybody drinks Wegman’s sodas, with the big swooshing “W” on the can. Everybody except Oscar, that is; he had a can with a different design in front of him, and it took some research to find out what he was pounding down: “La Croix” soda water, a product I’ve never seen out here in the Pacific northwest. La Croix is produced by the National Beverage Company, who also market Shasta soda. So everyone at lunch in the break room was drinking either a Wegman’s or a Shasta product; as they sit there right next to the Crystal Club soda dispenser, a machine that obviously never makes a sale. That soda machine has a lot in common with Ryan Howard at Dunder-Mifflin; he never made a sale, either.

There was a close-up of the snack machine behind Kelly in the break room, and I am happy to report the reappearance of an old local favorite that has been missing for a while: Gertrude Hawk candy bars, in several tasty flavors. These premium candy bars haven’t been seen in the snack machine since Creed was shown stealing one by sticking his sticky fingers way up where the sun don’t shine. Gertrude Hawk really is a fine chocolate company, and I’m not just saying that because my mother used to work there!

And how ’bout Ryan’s elaborate costume meant to woo Kelly? Besides the stubborn horse that he was stuck with, Ryan would have had to rent that “jolly maharaja” get-up. Luckily, just a few blocks from I grew up, there is a place called Taney’s, a costume rental shop that probably would have been able to outfit him, from turban to toe.

Well, that is about it for “Handy Andy.” Oops, I mean, “Angry Andy.” My wife teaches third grade, and she said that “Angry Andy” sounds like an elementary school book that teaches a lesson about this tempestuous kid “Andy,” and how he could learn to make better choices controlling his emotions; in kind of a “Berenstain Bear”-ish sort of way. It’s a book you wish young Andy Bernard was given to read in grade school. It might have helped temper his temper.

~ Bob

Apparently, there’s a new Pizza duel going on since the Launch Party episode. Maybe Bob can do some Scrantonicity sleuthing on Have A Slice and Il Detello’s:

Which is worse, abortionists or sex offenders?

The beginning was actually very cute. Pam and Phyllis approach Jim to sign a card for Stanley, who was apparently in the hospital for a tonsillectomy. But the joke on the card makes reference to Stanley’s mustache. Jim says he doesn’t have one. Everyone else is unsure too, even after Pam does two drawings showing a facially hirsute and clean shaven Stanley (I don’t get to use hirsute much – read: at all -  so forgive me). Upon seeing the drawings Dwight says “Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left”.” That being the first of a few Dwight lines to make me laugh in this ep. But then Gabe hears the elevator. It’s Stanley. Quick, take a poll! As the office votes, Gabe covers Stanley’s face until the big reveal. Aha! Mustache! I liked this gag because they actually got me to question whether he did in fact have one. Nice cold opening.

Robert California comes in and starts to berate the office folk for not being up and running at 9 in the morning. But then Nellie comes in late, making Robert sing a different tune. Robert, pending divorce and all, as apparently smitten with Nellie and surmises that her being late MUST because of something that is bothering her. It CAN’T just be that she hit the snooze button 7 times out of sheer laziness. Nellie then starts to complain about her move to Scranton and her living in a “dreadful backwater suburb of a suburb”. She then proceeds to insult the Irish, Hispanics, blacks and pretty much anyone in the room. Robert then insists that, since she is so stressed, Jim and Dwight should help her move and unpack and that the rest of the office should throw her a party. As you can imagine, this idea is not received well. In fact, Pam. Angela, Phyllis and Oscar conspire to throw Nellie an intentionally bad party. That’ll learn her!

Next we see, Andy and Erin, still driving back from Florida. It’s been three weeks so I completely forgot about these two; Jim and Pam they ain’t. But, here they are with the “B” storyline for this episode. The two are making their way to Andy’s girlfriend’s house for Andy to break up with her. They’ve actually acted out the breakup already and have it timed out at a minute and ten seconds. Yes, breakups ARE that easy.  But Erin suggests they try a “worst case scenario” breakup and hilariously comes across as a Valley Girl Kelly Kapoor. Alright, she’s cute. I can see why Andy digs her, even though she is a complete nut.

At Nellie’s place Jim and Dwight are dragging around her crap when Jim questions moving a large chair through a small doorway and into her bedroom. After mocking Jim, Dwight says “I will get the chair in. Watch the great Schrutini work his magic.” which sets off something In Nellie. She reveals her hatred of magicians, seeming very unnerved by them. Just then Jim gets a call from Pam, who details the plan to throw a bad party for Nellie. Does Jim have any suggestions? “Hire a magician!” he says to his wife. “Trust me.”

Andy and Erin arrive at his girlfriend Jessica’s place (actually her parents cabin) and sees Lauren, Jessica’s sister. But why is she wearing a veil? And why are all these people here? Uh oh. Erin smartly (!) surmises that this is a bachelorette party and that this may not be the ideal time to drop  the hammer on this relationship. But before they can escape, Jessica comes back from her run. Trapped.

Back at Nellie’s, Dwight discovers a shoebox that has “Nellie. Don’t open, stupid. Love, Nellie.” written on it. “I have to see these shoes!” says Dwight and opens it, only to discover multiple photographs of Nellie and the same gentleman. Dwight, the trained detective, surmises it’s a boyfriend, about ten seconds after Jim already has. Jim then finds a shot with the man’s face covered in whiteout, to which Dwight says “Maybe someone threw a pie in his face.” which is the second Dwight line to make me laugh. Upon the two figuring this guy is an ex and Nellie has gone through a painful breakup, Nellie discovers them. But she isn’t mad, still clearly depressed by the failed relationship. Apparently, after ten years of bliss, he ran off with a waitress at their favorite restaurant. Jim apologizes for stirring up such painful memories and Dwight offers to help her forget by hitting her “in her brain stem with this candlestick.”, the third Dwight line to make me laugh out loud. A pained Nellie asks the two to not mention this to anyone. They agree, but Jim MUST know about the picture of her beau in a magician’s costume. “That’s the most embarrassing thing about all this” says Nellie. “What kind of fool gets her heart broken by a bloody stage magician?” Uh oh. Jim hurriedly calls Pam to get her to call off the magician. In turn, Pam tries to convince Angela, Phyllis and Oscar to go nice on the party but they refuse. “Toots, we’re not stopping this train so get off the tracks!” says Phyllis, menacingly. I love how hardcore Phyllis can be sometimes.

Back at the cabin, Jessica’s sister is popping balloons with the names of ex’s emblazoned on them, while Andy enjoys his Gummi penises (!). When she berates the balloon of one ex as still being involved with his ex girlfriend the entire time she was dating him, Andy tries to stick up for the guy. No go. His balloon gets popped. As Andy talks to Jessica one of her friends commends him for being “One of the good ones.” Ulp.

Back in the office breakroom Pam tries in vain to stop the mean party that is about to occur. She asks them to at least be more subtle about it. Daryl suggests making a code name for Nellie, just like down in the warehouse “Douchebag” was a code name for Ryan. Pam suggests “Monday” but Ryan, living up to his code name, suggests the name “Pam.” Everyone agrees. Just then Nellie walks in and is greeted by a Creed original, which clocks in at over a half hour long.

Back in the B story, Andy pulls Jessica aside and starts the breakup process with very little subtlety. Naturally, Jessica sees Andy as dumping her for Erin, saying “You said she wasn’t relationship material and she wasn’t as good as me.” Oof. As Erin sits pained, Andy tries to float the idea that it’s not Erin… he’s gay. Jessica is not a believer but her sister’s gay friend Kenny says “I knew it!” After Andy tells Jessica that he was thinking of Jon Stamos in a steam room every time they made love, she believes him. She wasn’t looking for marriage but it still comes as a shock. Erin is clearly unhappy that Andy has fabricated this lie and the two leave.

Back at the office Robert California is happy that this little party is happening. Nellie is then showered with praise by Oscar, who then calls “Pam”  a most unwelcome and at times unfriendly addition to the office. Pam rolls with it but Jim is confused. After Angela says she imagines how happy she would be if “Pam” died, Jim catches on. He tries to say that “Pam” has had some bad stuff happen to her in her past that might be the reason she is a torture to work with. Nope.  A “We Hate Pam” chant is started by Creed, with the whole office joining in (including, rather amusingly, Dwight, who can’t know about the code name and is just chanting it). Just then, a guy in a magician’s costume walks in, Jim muttering “No, no.” at the sight of him.  Nellie is clearly taken aback.

In the car, Andy tries to steal a kiss from a still hurt Erin but to no avail. He tells Erin that he had to tell Jessica those things about her but Erin is still upset. She tries to take a nap as Andy drives, both of them obviously thinking about what has just transpired.

In the breakroom the magician has zeroed in an Nellie as his assistant. Nellie looks terrified and Jim jumps in to shield her. After a lame fake pigeon trick, the magician tries to get Jim to go along with a card trick. Jim sabotages the trick twice, much to the annoyance of the hack magician. Nellie is amused by Jim’s goofing. A confused Robert tries to understand why Jim is being so mean as Jim and Pam continue to wreck the guys show.  Finally he yells “What the hell?!  Alright, where’s Phyllis?” As he starts to yell at her, Dwight says “Ok, scram wizard!” and ushers the guy out. Robert California starts to apologize to Nellie but she stops him, clearly touched by what has just occurred. “Don’t you see what I see?” she asks Robert. Of course he doesn’t but says yes anyway, his adoration of Nellie making him say anything. “Great party.” he tells the assembled group, not believing it. “You think this was a great party?” asks Kevin. “This cake has vegetables in it!”. As he continues to complain Jim and Pam laugh and “clink” their paper cups.

Back in the car Andy parks somewhere, waking up Erin. Where? Oh no, back at the cabin. “I just gotta do one thing.” Andy tells her and runs inside. He tells Jessica that he is not gay and in love with Erin, extolling her virtues and saying that she is total relationship material. Erin is happy but no one else is. The angry mob chases Andy and Erin out to the car and while the car is being pelted with cake and garbage the two lovebirds finally kiss and escape.

The episode tag made me laugh. As Jim and Pam are leaving they come across Hank the security guard in the lobby, who has his head buried in a magazine. Pam mentions that she gave very specific instructions for Hank to not let the magician up. After Hank says he is on the case, Jim mentions that the magician actually came and went already. Hank, in faux wide eyed astonishment, says “Wait a minute! You said he was a magician, right? You don’t think he used….. it couldn’t have been ma…”  Pam looks at the camera and says to Jim, “Let’s just go…” Lol… Complete smartassery by Hank. And the end to a good episode that reminded me in little ways why I love The Office so. I guess I’m still fascinated… a little.

I would have really loved it if Nellie had dropped a proper name of her “dreadful, backwater” suburb of Scranton. I suppose I can see why the show elected not to immortalize any particular town in this light, but it still would have been edgy fun. They’ve mentioned my hometown of Dunmore several times, and places like Dickson City and Carbondale have gotten shout-outs over the years. Taking into account the fact that the Nellie Bertram character is a clueless, obnoxious boor, her “insult” could be seen as frivolous and unworthy of serious consideration. So I would think that any number of Scranton suburbs would be honored to be Nellie’s new home. I hope one of the surrounding communities steps up and claims her! What do ya say, Olyphant? Archbald? Jessup?

Nellie laments that there seems to be a lot of “Irish people” living in her area. There is some truth to that, historically speaking, and I suppose the Office writers took that into consideration. When I was growing up in northeastern Pennsylvania, there were sections of town that had large ethnic concentrations, mostly Italian and Irish. As time goes on, those homogenous enclaves tend to thin out as folks marry outside their ethnic  groups and new people move in. I’m sure it is not much of a factor anymore these days. Anyway, “Nellie” is playing the character of an odious twit Brit to the max, so of course she would be contemptuous of anyone with an Irish last name. Two of the more popular annual celebrations in the Scranton area would be the Saint Patrick’s Day parade, and the Saint Ubaldo Day Race. (One involving an Irish Saint, one involving an Italian Saint, and both of the celebrations involving alcoholic beverages; in moderation, of course.)

Andy and Erin turn up in the middle of an epic road trip from Tallahassee, Florida back to Scranton. In an early scene, they are shown by the side of the road, having a roadside snack. Since they are both wearing souvenir Savannah, Georgia T-shirts, it is safe to say that their pit stop is taking place there in Savannah or just somewhat north. They are at a picnic table, eating Herr’s Kettle Chips and drinking from soda cans that I don’t recognize. The labels on the soda are partially hidden, but the gold cans with the diagonal color patterns are distinctive, and probably a local house-brand. I googled “supermarkets in Savannah,” and the dominant store in town is “Piggly-Wiggly.” So that soda might be Piggly-Wiggly pop. It would be nice if anyone reading this could confirm that, or otherwise identify the mystery soda. By the way, “Piggly-Wiggly,” founded in Memphis, Tennessee, is the first self-service grocery store in the US of A, and a treasured icon of the south. I’ve never been in one, but I love the logo of a pert ‘n perky porker with a jaunty paper hat. As their website says “I dig Mr. Pig.”

I’m pleased to report that the background scenery out the car window looks very east coast-y, and not Californ-ee-ish. There is not a palm tree or a barren scrub-brush hillside to be seen, which is comforting. And the woods surrounding the bachelorette-party cabin look appropriately Pennsylvania-like. Unfortunately, the writers chose to only identify the cabin’s location as “southern Pennsylvania.” It would have been more fun to have named a real place like Yogi Bear’s Jellystone Park Resort in Lancaster County, Pa, instead of going so generic. Well, more fun for me, anyway.

When Jim and Dwight are moving Nellie’s belongings into her new apartment, I saw a label on a box marked “Archfield Moving Company.” I googled that name, thinking it might be an actual business from Tallahassee. Imagine my surprise when I found that it is a real moving company, but from Woolwich, South East London, England. That is so cool, that the prop department cares that much. Jim and Dwight find a shoebox, marked “Nellie, don’t open, stupid.” On the side of the shoebox is a label identifying the brand of the shoes, which are Clark’s Artisans. I thought I’d throw that in for those of you who are into ladies’ footwear.

Finally, Jim and Pam are leaving Dunder-Mifflin for the day, and they confront crack security guard Hank at his “office/snack bar counter.” Hank is so engrossed in his “World View” magazine, that he didn’t notice the magician coming or going. His other choices of reading materials include “Global Intelligence,” and “Trucker’s Monthly.” Behind Hank is a display of old-time-y coffee cans, including “Hills Brothers,” “Maxwell House,” “Folgers,” and “Surefine.” “Surefine” is a house brand sold locally in Gerrity’s Supermarkets. Also visible is a sticker for radio station KRZ, 98.5. I visited the radio station’s website to see what song was playing at that exact moment; so I leave you with Lou Bega, crooning “Mambo #5.” (In a “Hot Girl” deleted scene, Jim informed Pam that Michael Scott’s ring tone was “Mambo #5.”  Also, today, Friday the 13th of April, happens to be Lou Bega’s 37th birthday, which is, of course, apropos of nothing.)

~ Bob

-Kevin

Ryan thinks a good place to look for Andy would be the morgue, it’s a real thing:

Kevin steals a scene from Good Will Hunting, sort of:

Andy takes a page from Michael’s book and decides to never give up. That or become a long-haul trucker:

As usual lately… not much. Not since “The Office” story arc has much of the action taking place down in Florida. But I figure that’s OK. Out of necessity, this column has morphed into somewhat of a celebration of the show’s writers and prop department, who work overtime to make this series something special; because of them, there’s a “there” there, that isn’t present in most other TV shows. And I enjoy finding the “there” that they put “there,” wherever that may be; Scranton, Tallahassee, Stamford, New York… it’s all good. Besides, Scrantonicity’s mission statement always did include, along with what they got right, the things they got wrong, and there are a few of those to report.

If an Office episode has one clear Scranton reference these days, I count my blessings and run with it. At the beginning of “Get The Girl,” Nellie Bertram waltzes in to the Dunder-Mifflin Scranton branch, and Jim Halpert incredulously asks “What brings you here?” Nellie sarcastically retorts “Well, it isn’t the Harry Houdini Museum, that’s for sure.” She then goes on an irreverent comic rant about “some Hungarian who found his way out of a sack, so let’s build a shrine to him.” This seems like the perfect lead-in for me to research this baffling mystery: Why the heck is there a museum dedicated to Harry Houdini in Scranton, Pa?

Harry Houdini was born Eric Weisz, indeed in Hungary. He grew up in Appleton, Wisconsin, and lived primarily in New York City where he was a mainstay performing magic tricks and escapist acts on the vaudeville stage. He traveled extensively across the United States and in Europe doing his illusionist show, and he died in Detroit, Michigan. Where does Scranton come in? According to Wikipedia, Houdini once escaped from a beer barrel filled with, uh… what else, beer… on stage in Scranton. So, that’s why the only museum in the world dedicated to Houdini is located there! I knew there had to be a good reason. Actually, the real answer is complicated, and if you are interested, please check out the Wikipedia entry for the museum, and the Harry Houdini Museum itself. It appears the museum is there because of the love of some local magicians. It is located on North Main in Scranton, just a beer-barrel roll away from where my mother grew up on Mount Vernon Avenue.

Nellie is addressing the Dunder-Mifflin troops in the conference room, and Pam is shown drinking a soda. What makes this interesting is that the soda can doesn’t appear to be any of the usual suspects: Wegman’s, or Crystal Club, or even a national name brand. I’m not entirely sure, but from what I can see of the can’s design, Pam is drinking  a Diet Shasta Grapefuit Soda. Which would make some sense from this perspective: In a recent episode, a bratty young girl referred to Pam as the “chubby lady.” Rightfully flustered, Pam countered with “Hey, I just had a baby.” So, that could possibly explain the new “diet” soft drink in her hand. Please, somebody, correct me if I’m wrong about the brand name or the flavor. “Diet Grapefruit” soda doesn’t sound too tasty to me.

While Erin is serving up hot dogs in Tallahassee, there is a house brand ketchup squeeze bottle sitting upside down on the table. I can’t recognize the label, but I loved seeing the ketchup bottle “flip” right-side up in the blink of an eye. Just a li’l ol’ continuity error, that the vigilant Office film crew is almost never guilty of.

Almost never… until a later scene, when Andy thoughtlessly tosses a prepackaged eggplant parmesan sandwich out his car window. Erin calls out for him to stop so she can profess her undying love, and the vehicle travels about one car length before stopping. The camera then pulls back on the scene, revealing much more of the surrounding street… and no eggplant parmesan sandwich. Did an animal snatch it that quickly? Was it an opportunistic alligator, sunning itself in a nearby Florida yard? Hmm…

Well, a Florida gator sure isn’t guilty this time. Because I was able to read three different street signs visible in the background in this outdoor scene: Stroud Street, Stagg Street, and Cherrystone Avenue. A quick Google map search reveals this neighborhood to be a, um… little ways removed from Tallahassee. In fact, this filming took place just a few blocks from 13928 Saticoy Street, Los Angeles, California, which is where the “Scranton Business Park” building is located. I think it is A-OK that the LA suburbs can substitute just fine for Florida, with the tropical foliage and such. Ecologically speaking, it is a lot better for the environment to travel a few thousand feet to film rather than a few thousand miles. That way, all that is needed is a few Florida license plates, and then the magic happens. That’s probably what Houdini would say, if he ever returns to Scranton during the yearly seances at Halloween.

One last observation: Andy is shown standing in the surf (supposedly) at the tip of Florida, shaving in the waters of the Atlantic Ocean. In the, uh… very salty waters of the Atlantic Ocean. Wouldn’t that sting terribly? I’ve never shaved with salt water, so I guess I’m just guessing here.

~ Bob