Life is not a game to lose!

The Old Man's Pond

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:09:43 PST

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast...

Japanese rape games invade Indian computers

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:55:08 PST

If you are worried about the effect of violent computer games on your child, here's a shocker: sex games with graphic visuals, including those which test the player's 'raping skills', are making their way here, mostly from Japan.

Rapelay, a 3D game created by a Japanese firm, Illusion, with a storyline' prodding the player to rape a woman and her two teenaged daughters in a moving train, a park and a restroom, is among the hot picks' in the grey market. A source involved in direct marketing of foreign goods with suppliers in Chennai's Parrys and Burma Bazaar markets told TOI that he sold 20 copies of Rapelay last week to customers who had placed orders in advance and that 50 more copies are expected in a fortnight. The game is available in grey markets in other metros too including Palika Bazaar in Delhi, he added.

These are mostly pirated copies made from an original smuggled in from Japan or ordered through online shopping websites earlier. Several websites like Amazon.com had removed Rapelay from its virtual shelves after protests in July.

Gamers say several such hentai (Japanese porn) games are also available on the net and can be downloaded on to mobile phones as well. "Young people addicted to these games may start seeing violence as an integral part of sex. While films make children emulate characters, such games where the player is the character can make them act it out," warns sexologist D Narayana Reddy.

The authorities appear to be either oblivious to the danger or just helpless. The central crime branch police said it has not come across such games during its raids. The Computer Emergency Reaction Team (Cert-In) of the IT ministry, which has the mandate to ensure cyber safety, says its focus is elsewhere. "Our primary job is to prevent cyber crimes that threaten the national security. When such offensive websites are hosted in other countries, there is little we can do," says Cert-In senior director BJ Srinath.

This puts the onus on families to install parental control software to block access to such sites from computers and playstations, say counsellors.

It all started with a pop-up. Gautham Rao, a Class XI student in Hyderabad was surfing the net last October when the window showed a beautiful woman and prompted him to 'dress her up' using a variety of attires displayed on the screen. Rao spent hours dressing her, and later, undressing her. A list of similar sites took him down a dark virtual tunnel lined with bizarre games, where the player takes scores of avatars to undress and grope women of all ages, profiles and ethnicities. It took a few months before Rao's parents discovered the boy's horrible pastime and got him counselled by an expert.

A year later, the internet is today littered with games that allow players not just to undress and grope women characters, but to tie them up, torture and rape them. While violent sex games are getting more real with 3D animation and special effects, the authorities seem to be either ignorant or helpless. "We have not come across any such game CDs during our raids," says C Sridhar, superintendent of police, central crime branch. What he does not say is that the police, while seizing CDs of pirated movies and porn films, seldom look for game CDs.

Cyber Society of India, which works in the area of internet security, is also yet to study the matter in detail. "We are an NGO with no criminal jurisdiction. We mostly deal with online credit card frauds and cyber crime, but now we think we need to look at online safety from the angle of such offensive games too. In fact, this was in the agenda of a meeting of the society on October 23," says society secretary V Rajendran, who adds that the new IT Act which came into effect on October 27 has empowered the Computer Emergency Reaction Team- India (Cert-In) under the IT ministry to monitor and block offensive content.

However, Cert-In says it does not have the resources to monitor and block the scores of websites that offer rape and other violent games. "Only if there is a specific complaint about, say child pornography, can we step in," says a senior official. "We are aware of websites with violent sex as content accessible from India, but it is technically unfeasible to block all these sites. When the servers of these websites are situated outside the country, we cannot do much. Pursuing cases against offenders is also a long-winding process."

That puts the onus on parents. Says Bhavani K Raman, founder of Chennaimoms.com, an online community of mothers that discusses internet safety: "Parents must be aware that many phones and gaming consoles like PSP and playstations have built-in wireless access. So it is wise to install parental control software to restrict access." The control software allows you to block certain sites or make only some sites accessible for children and tells you the sites visited and the duration.

Another concern is about browsing centres making all kinds of websites accessible to children. Despite guidelines issued by the police, net cafes do not run an age check on visitors nor do they have firewalls. "The most important thing," Raman says, "is to create awareness in the child. Talk to your child about the danger and downside of using these games and sites. An informed child is a safe child."

Advisory for parents
* Use Parental control software that helps you select the sites your child can visit and set duration
* Use kid safe browsers like Kidzui and Kidrocket
* Search engines have settings which exclude adult material from search results.
* Upgrade your browser as the latest versions have better security settings
* Keep the computer in a place where everyone could see the monitor
* In the computer, create one account for each child without administrative privileges
* Check browser history after your kid used the computer
* Monitor their computer usage in browsing centres which are becoming hot spots for gaming and adult material
* Talk to your child about the danger of using adult sites.

Wife Vs Husband

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:50:56 PST

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument andneither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Sacred Chants - Volume 7 - For Seeking Forgiveness and To Experience Unconditional Love

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:38:02 PST

Sacred Chants - Volume 7
For Seeking Forgiveness and To Experience Unconditional Love

Voices : Gayathri Devi, S Saindhavi, Shruthi
Music : Stephen Devassy

Contents

01 Ganesha Bhujanga Prayatham

02 Subramanya Ashtakam

03 Shri Durgadevi Dhyanam

04 Aarayaadurga Ashtakam

05 Mahaamuneeshvara Mantra

06 Shaastha Ashtakam

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Sacred Chants - Volume 6 - For Offering oneself at the feet of divine

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:35:54 PST

Sacred Chants - Volume 6
For Offering oneself at the feet of divine

Voices : Gayathri Devi, S Saindhavi
Music : Stephen Devassy

Contents:

01 Guru Stotram
02 Daaridryadahana Shiva Stotram
03 Suvarnamaala Sthuthi
04 Shri Hari Sharanaashtakam
05 Aapadudharaashtakam
06 Venkatesha Karaavalamba Stotram
07 Kurai Ondrum Illai

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Sacred Chants - Volume 5 - For Attaining Enlightenment Through Devotion

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 22:14:51 PDT

Sacred Chants - Volume 5 - For Attaining Enlightenment Through Devotion

The Sanskrit literature goes on about the experience of Oneness with the Divine as much as it humbly brings out devotion. This connection or unity with Divinity, in the Hindu tradition, is referred as Enlightenment or Mukti. The Sacred Chants contained in this album bring out this timeless quest, that only through devotion is Enlightenment possible.

Contents

01 Ganesha Shodasha Namaani.
02 Shivashadakshara Stotram.
03 Bhavani Ashtakam.
04 Madhurashtakam.
05 Ashtalakshmi Stotram.
06 Sri Madana Mohan Ashtakam.
07 Brahmanandameemaamsa from Traittiriya Upanishad.
08 Musical Interlude.

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Sacred Chants - Volume 4 - Knowledge and Success Audio CD

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:49:31 PDT

Sacred Chants Vol 4 - Knowledge and Success Audio CD

Voices : Vijay Yesudas, Gayathri Devi, S Saindhavi, Priya, Shruthi, Vidhya Shankar, Kuldeep, Goutham, Baradwaj, Kedarnath, Jayaram

Music : Stephen Devassy

Contents

01. Ganapathy Sthavaha

02. Dakshinamurthy Stotram

03. Durga Devi Stuti

04. Sri Mahaganesha Pancharathna Stotram

05. Rajarajeshwari Ashtakam

06. Rudrashtakam - Vijay Yesudas

07. Manglam

Download Album - 128 kbps

Download Album - 320 kbps

Sacred Chants - Volume 3 - For Stress Relief, Immunity & Longevity

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:28:58 PDT

Sacred Chants Volume 3 For Stress Relief, Immunity & Longevity

Contents

01 Vishnu Stuti.
02 Totakashtakam.
03 Vaidhyanath Ashtakam.
04 Mahishasura mardhini Stotram.
05 Sivamanasa Pooja.
06 Mrita sanjeevani Strotram.
07 Mrityunjaya Astotram.
08 Mangala charan.

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Sacred Chants - Volume 2 - For Courage Confidence and Limitless Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:29:41 PDT

This album features timeless compositions of eminent saints and sages like Sri Sankracharya, Sri Indra, Sri Shiva Proktham, Sri Veda Vyasa and Sri Machankaracharya.

These Timeless compositions have been able to transfer altered states in consciousness. The states have been experienced by them, while composing these vibrant and stimulating verses designed to create a contact with the Supremely Sacred.

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The CD features following tracks:

01 Invocation - Sri Rudram Lagunyasam
02 Gurupaduka Stotram
03 Suryashtakam
04 Mahalakshmi Ashtakam
05 Shivashtakam
06 Viswnathashtakam
07 Kalabairavashtakam
08 Krishnashtakam
09 Lingashtakam
10 Annapoorna Stotram
11 Adamarshana Suktham

It is a phenomenal experience to feel the cosmic presence everywhere and to comprehend that the different forms of God are merely, a part or an aspect of the whole. The Invocation is part of "Sri Rudram" Lagunyasam.

The Gurupaduka Stotram - emphasizes on surrender and faith to the cosmic presence which serve as a vessel to carry us through this tumultuous existence, making it possible to 'live' life to its fullest - possessing an enlightened mind overflowing with passion, courage and intuituve discretion.

Shuryashtakam - evokes the strength from within. It is a request to this divine energy to extinguish our negativities just as it expels darkness and disease. Being the source of life and existence itself, the sun is indeed our first physical experience of the Supreme Creator.

Mahalakshmi Ashtakam - creates a feeling of confidence and prosperity since it generates vibrations to remove apathy and dispair. It helps to awaken the divine and auspicious nature of man, making him in control of all situation, be it worldly or at the spiritual and mystical dimensions.

Shivashtakam - The joy of silence is certainly a benediction. We praise the 'controller' of all existence, to give us 'His state'. of eternal joy, and, the prosperity and enrichment of the soul - The joy of being at ease with ones own "self".

Vishwanathashtakam - We relate to the omipotent being, as part of Him and we sing to Him to bless us with His mature of boundless bliss. Flowing like the Ganges, let us experience.... this Sacred endless flow of life.

Kalabhairavastakam - delivers one from sorrow, lust, proverty, greed, anger and pain, channelsing action in the path of truth and love, which bestows unexpected rewards and joy.

Krishnashtakam - of all great experiences, that of spiritual joy is most appeasing to our conciousness. Describing the omnipresent is equivalent to describing His manifestation. It oozes in tremendous emotion and makes one enjoy the ecstacy - relating one to creation itself.

Lingashtakam - The feeling of gratitude is what brings great Love and Peace. The lingastakam praises, describing the Supreme who is the cause and end of this Cosmos. "The eternal nothingness", that manifests with every creation, is asked to accept our joyous physical appreciation of His marvelous work.

The Annapoorna Stotram - awakens tremendous spiritual strength, which would in turn reinforce psychological and physical energies. It enriches our being eternally, feeding our body, mind and soul with the nourishment of health, fearlessness and compassion.

The feeling of being a part of the cosmic self is a thought that makes man's mind limitless, beyond conditioning, time and space. This experience, has never failed in giving us peace joy and freedom. An excerpt from the Adhamarshanasuktham - Mahanarayanaupanishad.

MUSIC ARRANGED BY SEVEN - Franco Simon, Sangeeth and Stephen

RECORDING ENGINEERED AND MASTERED - Manoj Kumar

VOICES - Uma Mohan, Gayatri Devi, Saindhavi, Nirupa, Ramya, Usha Sundaram, Chitra, Usha, Gowri, Krupa, Kruti

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Sacred Chants - Volume 1 - For Peace, Prosperity & Enlightenment

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 02:29:23 PDT

Achieve spiritual and material advancement by allowing these Vedic mantras to evoke specific responses from your inner being. By incorporating non-traditional musical arrangements, the ancient mantras achieve a timeless quality and become accessible to listeners of all generations.

Compositions of eminent Saints like Sri Shankaracharya and Sages from India generate essential vibrations in the human body which allow unlimited access to great knowledge and success and will also transfer the listener to altered states of consciousness experienced by these spiritual leaders themselves.

By feeling one with the cosmic self, the listener's mind is made to feel limitless and bolstered. The Stotras rendered in this album create vibrations in the body, heart, and mind that in turn strengthen the immune system and help relieve stress and feelings of confinement. Take a voyage to the plane of supreme bliss devoid of judgment, disease and suffering, and experience the bliss of sacredness.

The Sanskrit literature goes on about the experience of Oneness with the Divine as much as it humbly brings out devotion. This connection or unity with Divinity, in the Hindu tradition, is referred as Enlightenment or Mukti.

The Sacred Chants contained in this album bring out this timeless quest, that only through devotion is Enlightenment possible.

Volume 1 - For Peace, Prosperity & Enlightenment

Contents

01 Shanthi Mantram,
02 Guru Ashtakam,
03 Medha Suktham,
04 Durga Suktham,
05 Shree Suktham,
06 Gayathri Ghanapatha,
07 Purusha Suktham,
08 Shiva Thandava Stotram,
09 Mantra Pushpam,
10 Shanthi Mantram.

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The bear, the lion and the pig

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:43:22 PDT

A bear, a lion and a pig meet.

The bear says, "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."

The lion says, "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me."

Pig says, "Big deal.... I only have to cough, and the entire planet shits itself.

Recession Time Vaazhakkula/Banana

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:59:21 PDT

AXE effect.

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:51:25 PDT

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products.

No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where the fuck is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

Master Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:19:54 PDT

Funny Error Messages

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 20:48:30 PDT

Who said car names don't have a meaning?

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 08:33:17 PDT

BMW: Brings Me Women

FIAT: Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

FORD: For Only Rough Drivers

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive....

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

KIA: Kills In Accidents

OPEL: Old People Enjoying Life

TOYOTA: The One You Only Trust, Always

GOLF/GTI: Girls Only Love Fun / Get Them Inside

HONDA: Hanged Over, Now Driving Away

Asian Heroin addicts

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 13:17:47 PDT

Two Asian heroin addicts have just injected themselves with curry powder by mistake.

They are now both in intensive care. One has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma!

On a Beach Shack in Goa

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 10:05:33 PDT

Can you tell me?

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:26:06 PDT

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... you don't even know the way to the Post Office."

A Video for all Boys who are in love !!!

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 11:36:35 PDT

Great video and that's the truth for fake love...

Explanation for Cheating on Wife

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:03:04 PDT

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?

Lawyer!

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:20:19 PDT

A very successful lawyer is just getting out of his brand-new BMW when a truck comes along and tears off the driver's door.
A policeman turns up almost immediately, but before he has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically about how his new BMW was now completely ruined.
The policeman shakes his head in disgust and disbelief.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says.
"You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life".
"How can you say such a thing?" asks the lawyer.
The policeman replies: "Don't you even realise that your left arm is missing?
It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!"
"OH, MY GOD!" screams the lawyer. "MY ROLEX!!!"

The elderly couple

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:18:29 PDT

An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, "Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"

Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, "I never suspected.. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?'"

Martha said, "The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?"

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, "I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?"

Martha asked, "And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge."

"I recall that," said Henry. "And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time."

"All right," Martha said. "So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?"

Lets Learn A - Z of Kannada Slangs

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:00:23 PDT

I can tell how a man makes love.

noreply@blogger.com (Raghav) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:20:51 PDT

John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door."

John says, "Well, give me some examples."

Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is, if a guy shoves his key into the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn't for me."

"The second way is if a man fumbles around and can't seem to find the hole, then that means he is inexperienced and that isn't for me either."

Then Jill said, "Honey, how do you unlock your door?"