It's Serious This Time

Sometimes It's Good to be Single

2013-06-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

Foster Child Visit - Five Year Olds Are The Best!

2013-06-08T21:49:00.000-07:00

I had a new foster child this weekend. Another five year old girl - which is turning out to be one of my favorite types of house guest.

Five year olds are old enough to be able to follow most directions, while able to figure out some things on their own. They aren't a helpless age like the pathetic 3&4-year olds, but they aren't super-independent "I can do this on my own stop trying to help me attitude" that you get with 8&9-year olds.
Five is still easy enough to impress with super easy crafts or just a box of craft supplies in general.
Five is silly enough to laugh at easy things.
Five is not yet old enough to be completely stubborn about things and you can sometimes sway them to just do what you say.
Five is still young enough that you can sometimes convince them to take a wonderful-for-you afternoon nap.
Five year olds are still young enough to want to take bubble baths, but can do it alone without the constant fear of them drowning.
And five year olds say some really funny things.

My new five year old girl and I were talking about going to some event at a horse farm where kids can paint a horse - which is the most absurd thing I've ever heard, in addition, they provide lunch and horse rides for the $5 entry fee. I was explaining to her what to expect, as kids in therapeutic foster care really need to have a sense of what to expect as much as possible,and I told her they are even giving us free lunch! And this is how the conversation went:

Me: They will be serving hot dogs tomorrow.
Girl: Hot dogs?

Me: Yes, hot dogs.

Girl: Oh, I'm not hungry there.

It just made me laugh...she doesn't like hot dogs. Instead of just saying she doesn't like the food, she was going to just declare that she's not hungry in the future. And she could predict that if someone tried to feed her a hot dog, her appetite would be gone. Smart girl!!!

Hold On To Your Hats,Folks - I'm Headed to Asia!!!

2013-06-05T22:17:00.002-07:00

I've been in my new role for close to three months now and I am loving it!

I love working from home.
I love the work I'm doing.
I love the organization I work with.
I love the software I work with (Workday).
I love not having to get up, rush to get ready only to then sit in my car for 20 minutes to commute to work.
I love wearing anything I want every day of the week.
I love all the money I'm saving on gas and parking and eating out.
I love having my cats as officemates.
I love the low stress lifestyle I now live.

Lovin it all.

And I love the day I had yesterday - planning a trip to Asia! I'm spending 12-13 days in Bangkok, Thailand, and then 8 days in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

In a short time, I will be visiting new worlds, seeing new sites, tasting new foods, drinking new drinks, learning new cultures, and loving being out in the world.

I'll have a watermelon half, a papaya and 3 fresh pears please.
via.

I think a river tour is a great idea!
via.

I'm certain they will arrange fireworks just for me!
via.

Baby monkeys with orange fur? Yes, please!
via.

On the way back from my travels, I'll be flying through Amsterdam. No matter how I plan it, it looks like I will have a ridiculous layover-over 4 hours-and so I figure if I'm going to be stuck there...I should be stuck there! So I'm considering spending the weekend in that city.

My only concern is how exhausted I will be...3 cities in 3.5 weeks is a long time to be away from home!

I will miss my home. My cats will miss me like crazy...Andrew might miss me a tiny bit.

Love of a Furball

2013-05-29T19:51:00.002-07:00

I am not a dog person. Nobody would ever mistake me for one.

But there's this one little doggy who I LOVE above all others.

My friend Reggie is the only dog I will pet and hold and walk and feed and even *gasp* willingly let run free in my home.

And that means it's true love right?

Arrested Development Returns!!!

2013-05-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

I don't have Netflix....so I will have to figure out a way to watch it. Oh, if only there were a way for people to share shows via the internet. Oh...if ONLY there were a way...

Chill OUT, Comcast/Xfinity/US Govt - I don't download movies.

But I will find a way to watch it, don't you worry. Cause Arrested Development is ridiculously funny.

At first I was like, meh, it's just goofy funny.

But then I was like, omg, this is pretty intense funny.

And then I was convinced about it-how does the entire world not watch this ALL THE TIME? Like how do birds sing and bees buzz and people just go about their bizness day in and day out without knowing about this comedy genius??

If you're not watching it but ever have the chance, DO IT or forever be a lost soul.

The Return of Andrew!

2013-05-21T23:45:00.000-07:00

I no longer live alone!

Young Andrew is home for the summer from college.

I'm happy to have him here, he's been my little buddy for almost my entire life so it's strange not to have him around all the time. But when he's home, he's still not around all the time because apparently my little buddy has other friends and is super busy with THEM.

He makes pit stops to be around the house with me though, pieces of each day and night are for us, and sometimes it feels like he never left.

His presence is very much felt in the house though.
There is definitely a manly smell in certain rooms.
The sink always has more dishes.
Noise levels have doubled.
My laundry has tripled in the last week.
My food bill has quadrupled.

And my heart is full.

Racism Makes Me Sad

2013-05-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes our country saddens me.
I recently had a discussion with a relative of mine about race and equality (after a racist facebook post sparked the topic) and it just makes me sad.

We don't have equality. Is it even possible? Will I be around to see it?
With the history of slavery and oppression in America, how can we move forward?

My cousin was coming from another view of: if we all treat each other fairly, then we will all be equal. A great idea...but unrealistic maybe?

I'm not black. I don't have any black family members in my immediate family. I don't claim to be a specialist when it comes to matters of race.

But what I do know and firmly believe - is that racism is alive, not because the black community wants to keep a division or just because of bitterness and resentment from slavery, but because there are many, MANY, too many racist people in our country.

Racial profiling is real - RIP Trayvon Martin.
Ignorance runs rampant - look at all the ridiculous emails that are forwarded every day by people who don't take the time to verify truth vs fiction.
And then you have social media....ugh, the facebook posts I mentioned earlier - and they came from one of my own relatives, who I have now blocked (I have little to no contact with that person anyway but now I will be sure to keep it that way).

It's just disgusting and disheartening.
It makes me ashamed of our country.
It makes me sad for our youth.
It makes me scared for our future.

A really interesting study was done by Humboldt University - here are the locations of racial tweets produced in a 10 month period of time:

It's a really interesting study - check out the map itself here: http://users.humboldt.edu/mstephens/hate/hate_map.html#

We'll save the discussion about homophobia for another day, but you can also look at homophobic tweets, or disability ones, on the map as well by clicking on the headers once you go to the link.

worth doing...

2013-05-03T23:44:00.003-07:00

"Looks like the Gershwins were booked last night!"

I must do this someday (minus the toilet paper which is just silly).

Working From Home Ain't So Bad!

2013-05-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

Well happy May day everyone!
This is the day when we celebrate...something about labor. And, if you live in Portland, it's the day to protest and spend hours shutting down the streets to raise awareness to a multitude of issues - immigration, labor union rights, homelessness, etc.
And for some, it's the day to celebrate just being alive and free and having nice weather.

I am in a job right now, and at least for the next 16 months, where I get the luxury of working from home. Full-time working from home!!
It's been pretty glorious so far. I slightly miss having an office to go to, and having to get dressed in some kind of work attire, and just being out and about a lot...however, I really really LOVE just being at home!!! I love not having to worry about what to wear and how it looks and if it's appropriate for whoever I might be seeing that day. I love not having to commute for 25-45 minutes before starting a long day of work and then repeating it at the end of my day. I love having the opportunity to take a break and throw some clothes in the washer; or just reading on my bed over my lunch. And I especially love having furry coworkers who sleep next to me wherever I might be working. If I'm in the sunroom, they are on the couch next to me. If I'm at the desk, one is on the back of the chair and one is on the floor by my feet. If I'm at my treadmill desk, they are on the bed. Working from home has been fabulous thus far!!!

Also wonderful - the cost savings! I rarely get Starbucks anymore. I used to eat out about 4x a week (at almost $10 each time!). And I used to fill up my gas tank every Sunday - I've only filled it up two times in the last seven weeks!! And I used to have to pay about $50 out of pocket for parking - and now I sometimes don't take my car out of my garage the entire day.

LOVING this!!!

Eff You, Pollen!

2013-04-25T16:22:00.001-07:00

Hey Pollen,
Eff you. Eff you and all your effing pollen-y goodness that is NO GOOD for ANYONE.
I am so sick of allergies. I'm sick of the runny nose, the scratchy throat, the itchy eyes. I'm definitely sick of the stupid allergy pill that if I skip for more than one night suddenly causes me to be a nose-blowing, eye-watering disaster of a human.

Every year around this time-when the weather FINALLY starts getting nice (i.e. stops raining for more than 4 hours and the sun makes a glorious appearance), my eyes get swollen and red, and my eyelids get really dry and disgusting looking. Within a matter of half a day, I go from this:

to this:

I'm not kidding.

When it first started, I bought some allergy eye drops. Those didn't work, so I bought two more kinds. Those didn't work. So I bought three more kinds. I only opened two of them and smartened up and realized that I needed something stronger and went to the eye doctor. Where I got two prescription eye drops-a steroid for temporary immediate relief, and an ongoing type to use for the next 6-8 weeks to prevent the flare ups.

Total spent on all this: approximately $169.00 (not counting the eye drops I can return because I didn't open them).
Worth it? Most definitely!! It sucks when the sun is shining, the sky is beautiful blue, birds are chirping, wild animals come up and let you pet them, butterflies land on your nose - and I can't stand to leave the house because my eyes burn during the daylight and they water like I'm crying and are swollen like I've been crying for hours and hours. And I can't wear makeup, obviously, as it ends up on my hands, my cheeks, the side of my face, etc - everywhere except my nasty swollen eyes.

And so, in conclusion....eff you pollen. I win this battle.

I Love You Back!

2013-04-21T15:23:00.000-07:00

photos via

omg, his face...SO serious!! He means this more than anything in the entire world!!

It seems most of my family and a few of my friends range from slightly dislike to extreme hatred of this man - but can we all acknowledge that it is pretty cool that when someone yells "I love you" from the crowd, he takes on the most serious expression possible and lets that person know in no uncertain terms-"I love you back." Leader of the free world, acknowledging random people in the crowd.

There's actually a website about it even: http://obamalovesyouback.com/ - which the white house site actually responded to...love it.

Love is underrated. Spread the love people.

I love you back. All of you who are reading this. All three of you. You are loved by me!

Happy Birthday to My Pops! (aka The Return to Iowa)

2013-04-15T21:38:00.000-07:00

A couple months ago, my aunt sent out an email to everyone in the family except my parents declaring that a surprise birthday breakfast party was being planned for my dad - and my sisters and I set in motion: Operation Iowa Birthday Surprise.

One sister and her daughter were flying out from Seattle.
Myself and her son were flying from Portland.
Our other sister was driving from South Carolina with her husband and two sons.

We all converged on this tiny little town in Iowa on Friday night and spread out at some of the relatives homes (we have a lot of relatives in Iowa). And then Saturday morning-BAM-surprise surprise surprise!

This is a brilliant idea for any birthday that sucks (i.e. 40+).

It worked out perfectly! Here's a video of our surprise party:

And some random wonderful photos.

It has been years and years since this group has been together.
(and sadly this group photo is missing the two boys who are away at college)

This is an Iowa back porch.

Its fun taking photos of ourselves...there were 8 people standing nearby who could have taken this photo with her camera.

My beloved niece and my beloved Uncle Jerry - he's like a big teddy bear. Kinda like Ted....

Wanna know what Iowa looks like? It's this view. Everywhere. Flat flat flat. Lots of farms and fields. And flat.

Photobombing dog.

Not just one time either!

SO pretty!

This is my favorite 2 yr old right now. All round things are apples. I fed her an orange and called it an apple. I also wanted to hear her cry and some people thought that was mean....I didn't want her to be hurt, I just wanted to see how she cries cause it's kinda cute (for the first 30 seconds). On our last night, she cried for me when her mom wouldn't let her pick up the 8lb bowling ball. She came to me for comfort and it was perfect.

I haven't seen my cousin Michelle since 1990. She's WAY older now, with a husband, three kids AND a grandbaby. Yikes!

We worked on this puzzle for about an hour. The baby destroyed it in about 90 seconds.

LOTS of laughs were had by all!

Unrelated to the party completely - my parents house has an unused attic space that has these super steep stairs to get up to it. They don't plan on using the space and the stairway is too steep for anything, so my mom uses it as a bookshelf! GENIUS!!!!

Foster Parenting Adventures: When Children Lose Control

2013-04-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

When you have a child who has trauma in the past, you just never know what is going to spark a memory or a thought that will spark something within them that causes them to lose the ability to maintain composure. As a certified therapeutic foster parent, I’ve been through a lot of training, during which I was introduced to the idea that you will be attacked, your house will be trashed, you may have a need to call 9-1-1, you may have a false claim of child abuse of some sort filed against you, etc. The training was intense. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed at the real-life examples the various trainers were sharing, and couldn't comprehend how I could possibly remember all the information I needed to know to be a successful foster parent. You just have to hope that the worst-case scenarios don't happen to you

I have been a foster parent for exactly one year. In that time, I have had seven or eight different kiddos in my house for respite care and had two “incidents” where a child tantrumed to the point of needing to be put in a hold.

The first one was with a boy who has a history of tantruming daily, so his was not a surprise. The second one was last month, by a girl I’ve had about twelve successful visits with in the past few months. Unfortunately, it was a doozy of a tantrum that involved quite a bit of non-essential damage-ripping papers, throwing books and clothes, and a little over-the-top ridiculousness –she dumped a bag of cat food in the middle of the room and then threw handfuls of it at me across the room, repeatedly.

The thing about the therapeutic kids is that they just can’t necessarily control themselves. There is just something not connecting correctly in their brain and, as such, there’s not really much you can do for them when they cross into tantrum mode.

This tantrum went on for a couple hours in the am. At some point, she was in the bedroom, had already torn up everything she could- there was nothing left in the room, the bedding was in a pile in the corner, she had broken a piece of the bed frame (by jumping on it in just the right spot) and she was just exhausted. Containing her to the room was the best thing that I did that morning. She was great after she cried and we hugged and I assured her I wasn’t mad and wasn't going to punish her and we talked about what was right and wrong. She cleaned up the room with my direction and then we went to the kitchen and made lunch together. Life was just fine...

Lunch was great, we watched a short cartoon, cleaned up our plates and got comfy on the couch to watch a movie and take a rest as we had discussed. Unfortunately, she still wasn’t quite right….and she started another tantrum. This one was throughout the house, I couldn’t quite get her contained to one room and the whole house took a bit of a beating. The training I was provided tells us that we don’t ever unnecessarily touch the kids in the program. We don’t hug without permission, and then it’s a side hug only. We don’t grab their arm if they are preparing to strike at us, we just deflect or step away. There’s just so many rules!

I feel like I did a stellar job of following the things I learned in training. It went on for hours and hours...But at some point, I reached my limit and had to call the emergency hot line. I was told later that I did an excellent job, very calm and soothing voice reinforcing that everything was okay and I wasn’t going to be mad. One of the quotes they told me later that made them feel really confident that I was doing well was that I was heard saying something like, “ it’s okay if you hit the TV with that plastic wand (a cat toy) because I know you are not going to hurt yourself doing that and I just want you to feel safe. I won’t be mad at you if you continue but I’d really like you to stop and use your words.”

Patience was mine that day!!

Eventually I had to put her in a therapeutic hold as she was getting to the point where she was nearly hurting herself running from room to room, sliding under the coffee table, throwing sharp things, etc. After a few minutes, she stopped struggling (but not before getting the chance to bite my arm) and just broke into tears. And from there, she took a nap and was fairly normal the rest of the evening and into the next day.

At some point, she made some comments to me that I had to report to her case worker– and that led to me testifying in court last month. Such a sad, crazy experience that I hope I don’t have to repeat anytime soon. It’s just heartbreaking to see kids going through such a traumatizing and scary event. I don’t think this is anything they can control or understand. It’s just a part of their life. And we think we have it rough...

New York, New York - Nuthin But Pictures

2013-03-26T21:28:00.000-07:00

Lookin good in Times Square!

Touring

I kissed Stephen Colbert in Times Square - via an iPad.

We don't need to pay $22 for room service dessert!

Eating. Lots of eating.

No Sleep Til Brooklyn!

2013-03-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

I'm unemployed again!!!
I LOVE taking a week off. Some of you might not know, but I just worked a million hours a week for the last 6 months straight, barely taking a day off here and there (aside from the kickass safari in South Africa in early September). I worked nearly every single weekend. Even on the few days off, I still checked mail and did little things first thing in the morning.

And now I'm preparing to move on to the next great work adventure, but before I do - I must take a week off and rejuvenate and recover and rediscover life away from the computer.

So far this is what I've done:

Slept 10 hours, two days in a row!
Went shopping for more-professional clothes and spent over $600. I NEVER EVER do that. I don't like it, it didn't' feel good, I'm still a bit in shock over it. Let's never discuss it again, k?
Discovered you can buy a garbage can for $199. A GARBAGE CAN. That just holds your trash-it doesn't take it out to the street on Thursday night. It doesn't clear out any smells produced by your garbage. It doesn't talk to you or tell you that you look pretty today. Just sits in one spot and HOLDS YOUR TRASH. Rich people are ridiculous. (note that you have to buy special garbage bags at 67cents each)

Played games with friends.
Read two books -which is one more than I read in last 5 months.
Started the process of removing the moss that was taking over my roof. I didn't do it myself, mind you, climbing on the roof terrifies me.

Got my hair cut and colored.
Gone out to bingo at the bar, where my friend won (the prizes are things you would find if evacuating a nursing home).

Got recertified as a therapeutic foster parent.
Did a bit of yardwork (I swear I could hear all the neighbors cheering).
Hung out in Portland with a couple friends, where we drove to random places, had no agenda, and just enjoyed the sunshine.

FREE HUGS!!!! Get em while they last!

Father and son band at the Saturday Market? Looks a bit like Ted "anarchy forever" Kaczynski...

Food Cart Love

PB&J Fries: yummy fries dripping in a killer peanut sauce with a raspberry compote (it was decided that we would have preferred no J on ours). It's uniquely Portland.

With less than a week to go - I am feeling more relaxed and at a good point to start my new job - with my orientation in New York very soon, and then hopefully off to Asia in the next few months!

And like the Beastie Boys: I'm on location, touring across the nation - Beastie Boys always on vacation (for 6 more days anyway).

I've been singing this song ALL DAY:

Portland is the Place to Be for Me

2013-03-04T22:55:00.002-08:00

I remember when I was living in South Korea and the kid and I returned to the states for the holidays. I visited with friends in Portland and told them - after living in the countryside for the last 10 months, I can't imagine living back in this city. There's just so much...CONCRETE. And buildings EVERYWHERE. And all these people just sitting in their cars every day. But then I ended up back here by the roll of the dice. And now I can't imagine living elsewhere.

We have these amazing trees!!!

And SO MANY parks to run and play in!!!

And you'll randomly come across someone walking their pet goats!

And we have views like this from just about ten minutes from anywhere you happen to be.

There are some really amazing Portland-esque things to see - in North Portland, there is this house that has a paper-mache 4-d face created on the front of it that they then painted to look like a puzzle!

This tv is out front of a convenience store, chained to the bike rack and all painted and grafitti'd. And it just lives out front like this always.

The wildlife is all around us! I always see squirrels running along my fence - and one day this monster raccoon just rambled on by like it was no big thang.

A toilet. On a street corner. Doing no harm.

Big flowing cloth curtains OUTSIDE the house! Love it!!

Chickens are abundant in Portland. They live a happy carefree life in peoples yards, even in the city limits.

Birthday Party Fun. So Much Fun, There's Nothing to Share

2013-02-17T22:23:00.000-08:00

It's time for my Birthday Party again? I'm yet another year older...how does this keep happening?!

Regardless, I'm always happy to have my friends over and this year for my birthday party, we had a special guest in attendance - my sister Jenny came to town to join us. About 16 people stopped by and we all ate lots, drank a bit, opened some sweet gifts and played games, amongst the night of laughter and friendship.

And I took a bunch of crappy photos, nothing even worth sharing. Evidence:

As in the last few years, I held a shampoo collection for charity for my birthday and have about 90 bottles of hair care products to donate, thanks to the generosity of my friends and family. Getting older...earning karma points...living the good life.

Yet Another Job, Kaylen? Yes, Yes, I Think So!

2013-02-09T21:39:00.000-08:00

I guess I am in the best spot ever of my career. I've got quite a lot of training under my belt for a particular HRIS software and have two implementations under my belt, both global. And so it is that I have come to find myself in a position where I am free to be happy with my life choices.

I just started my current job early summer last year, however, I'm not 100% happy with the company for a few reasons. But who ever is? Is that even possible? I am still new at my company so I don't even know if I would be able to stay there long-term, but sometimes, even though you aren't looking for something better - it just happens to be made available to you. So it wasn't really a plan of mine to leave my current job, certainly not so soon - until I saw an opening by an NGO.

An NGO is basically a nonprofit. This one is funded by multiple government agencies, amongst other groups, but has no leadership from the government, it's completely independently run. The most common definition of an NGO: a framework that includes orientation and level of operation. An NGO's orientation refers to the type of activities it takes on. These activities might include human rights, environmental, or development work. An NGO's level of operation indicates the scale at which an organization works, such as local, international or national.

I will be working for an international NGO that works in many countries helping refugees. Doing amazing work all over the world. This is where I need to be.

And with the software system that I love working with...and it includes international travel, which I crave. How could I walk away from this love trifecta?

It is but a dream.....and yet it is real. And it is happening soon. Stay tuned for amazing pictures from my travels - starting with a jaunt to New York next month!!

Finding A Lost Pet - Drastic Measures Are Necessary Sometimes

2013-02-03T21:00:00.001-08:00

We have indoor cats. Very skittish indoor cats.
Twice now, Whiskers has made a great escape. And then a month ago, he did it again.

For some reason though, this time was fatalistic to me. I woke up and he wasn't on my bed. Andrew was home and had friends sleeping over, so I knew Whiskers would have to be in a few key areas. He ALWAYS comes running when he hears me wake up, if he doesn't actually wake me up himself. I have a bathroom connected to my bedroom and each morning, I use the loo while he rolls around stretching on the bathroom floor. Then I turn on a slow stream of water in the bathtub for him while I brush my teeth. It's our daily routine.

Except for this one particular morning in early January. No sign of Whiskers. I called and called...no Whiskers. I looked in his normal sleeping spots that he thinks are hidden. No Whiskers. I checked the sunroom where Andrew and friend were sleeping - no Whiskers. And then I immediately started thinking - Whiskers has died. He's curled up in a spot somewhere in this house and just gone into a deep slumber from which he would never awaken.

Depressing, right? And totally uncalled for. Whiskers wasn't sick, he wasn't acting strange, nothing to indicate he was going to pass away in the night.

We do have a kitty door that leads into the garage, and another that leads into the world at large. The garage-to-the-world door has been sealed since we moved into this house, so it's not really a huge threat of him escaping that way. And he doesn't really hang out in the garage that I know of. If I'm out doing the laundry, he'll cry at the cat door until I call him and convince him to come through, and then he stays close to me, crying the entire time, as if he is trying to convince me to go back inside the house.

Andrew was certain he hadn't left the garage door open for any length of time, so this further convinced me that Whiskers was in some tiny crack in the house, curled up, asleep forever.
Dramatic much?

Totally an indoor cat!

So I searched the house high and low, made Andrew do the same, and finally, I was convinced he was not dead in the house. But then I was convinced he was dead in the garage....

And so I searched the garage high and low. Andrew had given up on my craziness by this point and had gone about his life. As if life just goes on when your cat is missing??? He's learning some ridiculous things in college, isn't he?

Luckily it was my work from home day and I could spend all day taking breaks and wandering outside calling for Whiskers. Not that it did any good. I was convinced he was dead somewhere anywhere. I ran into my neighbor, this older man who most likely has Alzheimer's, and he told me a horrific stories about cats being killed.

Didn't matter. I was already convinced Whiskers was dead anyway.

I called my friend at the cat shelter, my local cat expert. She insisted that she has heard miracle stories of cats returning from this one solution. And she told me it sounded crazy...but assured me it would work.

By this point, Whiskers was gone about 18 hours. Much too long for my scaredy, indoor cat to be out in the big scary world. So I was open to any suggestion.

Ready?

The magic solution to helping your lost pet come home: pee in a spray bottle, walk around the blocks surrounding your house and spray your urine about. The pet will smell the urine scent and follow it until it finds it has turned up at a familiar home, where it will wait for your undying affection and handfuls of treats.

Totally logical, right?
I sent Andrew a message explaining that I needed him to pee in a bottle to help Whiskers get home. Being the good son he is, he agreed to come home in a bit and do so. And he proceeded to drink lots and lots of something, he claims it was soda, and then he came home and peed in a spray bottle and then walked the block with me, marking his territory as we went.
Totally normal, right?

However, about 27 hours after the last Whiskers sighting - he came home!!!! With some sticky stuff on his paws, a twig stuck to his tail, and big scared eyes - but he made it back!!!

Did the magic solution work? Was Whiskers going to slink in once it got dark and quiet outside anyway? We'll never know....but when your beloved pet gets away from you, you really have to do what you can, right?

Fun with Five-Year Olds!

2013-01-30T21:28:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget my little foster girl is in therapeutic foster care. She's just so NORMAL!!!

Recently, she's started saying "of course." Not in a snotty way, just a very matter-of-fact way.

I'll say, "do you want to watch this movie?"
She'll respond, "well of course I do."

"Did you see bubbles when you washed your hands?"
"Of course I did"

"Do you think Whiskers needs water?"
"Of course he does."

"Did you see that big dog on the corner?"
"Yes, of course, he's so big."

It's adorable. I love it.

My friend and I went to Ikea with her last Saturday. Early on in the maze-that-is-Ikealand, my girl picks up a kitchen dish scrubber. She used it to brush her hair, my coat, the cart, and everything in front of her for about an hour. Just quietly walking along, brushing things. And then she put it back before we left as if it was totally normal.

It's amazing how kids don't want a sandwich...until you let them use a cookie cutter on it, and suddenly sandwiches aren't so boring.

I got a new desk chair a week ago (FINALLY-the old one was possibly the same one that Fred Flintstone had, like the actual one he used) and it took me about 20 minutes to put it together and then I had to try it out while catching up on some bill-paying and email cleaning-up. For about two hours that day, she played with the box, a dry paintbrush and some colorful plastic plates we got from Ikea. She "painted" the box, "painted" all over a piece of cardboard from inside it, made a desk out of it, pretended it was a wall blocking her from the other room, "painted" her face and mine, just played....like a "normal" child.

And she SO appreciates having a book read to her. She can be the grumpiest grump-a-lump, but then you offer to read her a book while she thinks about what good choices she wants to make, and she's the sweetest little girl agan. She just loves taking a trip to the library and is great about having soft feet and quiet voices.

It's easy to forget she's seeing a counselor for PTSD and her and her 5 siblings aren't allowed to live at home with their parents due to reasons you really don't want to know about. Or that she intentionally flooded her foster parents home just last month.

What if she's really meant to be with me and my house is the only place where she is free to be normal?
What if I just don't take her home and stop answering my phone?
What if we live happily ever after?

In real life, her situation is going to change in March and I probably won't have her anymore. And I will probably be pretty heart-broken.

Introducing The Treadmill Desk - A Work From Home Necessity

2013-01-25T23:42:00.000-08:00

I have had a Fitbit for maybe about a year now.

It sits very subtley on the edge of my pants pocket almost every day, minus a few days here and there where I have forgotten it on its charger. If you don't know about it, it's a fancy schmancy pedometer, but more than that. It also has a calories burned feature, a stair counter (mine is frequently at zero because I have no stairs in my house), it syncs wirelessly to your computer OR your phone, and has a sleep function to track how much sleep you're getting and how efficient your sleep is, based on your frequent movements. I've found that it's not completely accurate on that though.

Last night for instance, I recorded 7 hours of sleep, but I woke up 17 times and it is telling me my sleep efficiency is 91%. Really? I woke up exhausted and miserable and I would have put my efficiency more at 19%. Slight flaw...but interesting to see how restless I am, so if I didn't think I had moved around a lot in the night, this would validate why I'm a wretched, cranky monster.

It gives me fun little encouraging comments on its little reader board when I pick it up, like "Way to go K-Dizzle." Or "Faster K-Dizzle!" Or "Woot! K-Dizzle!" Or my favorite: "Hold Me K-Dizzle." I really like the size of it-it's very discrete and it's not clunky on my arm like some of the trackers are these days. You can't cheat with it either. If I swing it around, it magically recognizes I'm not moving.

sidenote: I don't usually go by that name, but I got a new computer and I wanted to test the setup and see immediately if it would sync up and the name change felt like it was the easiest way to do that...so now I am k-dizzle.

Ideally, we should all be getting 10,000 steps a day to be healthy. That's about 4.5 miles. When you work on a computer all day and work 12hrs at a time, it's really hard to find time to walk 10,000 steps. And when you do that 10 hour shift from home, it's actually sometimes hard to walk 3000 steps. It's a wee bit embarrassing, but it's really easy to walk so little when you MUST GET your work done to meet a very tight deadline (or the entire world will explode).

Here are my last two weeks - note that I forgot to wear it a few days. Note the first 7 bars on the graph and see how low they are? Sad. Sad, sad fitbit.

I have been struggling lately to feel healthy and don't feel like I have time to invest in being healthy. but this is my job and it's not going to change and so I needed to find something to make both my health and my work come together like unicorns and rainbows.

Enter the Treadmill Desk.

The last two days was a total success. I got to sit on the couch in the morning while working and calling into a few meetings. After lunch each day, I walked for an hour. WHILE working!! It actually was very easy to do and the first day, I walked again before dinner-while working!! And for the first time in a long time, I was able to make my 10000 steps goal. I almost made it again today, but my foster girl showed up early and it just wasn't possible to be on the treadmill tonight. It's literally 5 feet from where she sleeps and it might sound a bit like a pack of rhinos when I walk on it.

Regardless - I think I have found a new way to live life right!

Here is how I created my desk. It took A LONG TIME (at least 2 minutes) and was A TON OF WORK (not in the least).

The biggest thing is safety, of course. It couldn't be in the way of my body in it's natural walking state - and by natural, I mean the only possible way you can walk while having your fingers attached to a keyboard.
The second biggest thing (unless you are my employer, in which case it's the first) is the safety of the laptop.

I happen to have bought a shelf last year that turned out to be a perfect length to lay across my treadmill cross bars. I hadn't opened the shelf, so although it's a glossy type of faux wood, it's still wrapped in plastic, still has the cardboard pieces over the ends. I think the cardboard and the plastic might be critical to this working as they don't allow any slipping around. The cardboard may even act as a bit of a shock to help absorb any of the movement from the treadmill (there definitely is movement).

Originally, I just had the one shelf, but I found that the laptop was low and it was killing my weak wrists to type that way. So I knew I needed to raise it up and went to the garage to look for a box which I could use to raise it up a good 2 inches or so. I somehow forgot I had ANOTHER shelf, just a bit shorter, still wrapped in plastic with its cardboard edges...and it worked PERFECT!!! The plastic stops any slipping around and the cardboard helps buffer (maybe) AND it raised it up the exact perfect amount to make my keyboard in a great spot ergonomically. And because the shelf is short, it leaves room on the side to allow my mouse on one side and my phone on the other. My treadmill has cup holders, but to put anything in there would require me to have to reach across the shelves/laptop and that ruins my safety factor.

The laptop fits perfectly on the shelf, barely hanging over in front and back. It doesn't have any kind of slip to it-it's pretty snug on bottom. And if I were to bump it, it would fall against the front of the treadmill, which has a very nice incline for holding books and whatnot and I think given the speed I'm going, I probably wouldn't knock over both shelves, in which case the laptop would trap itself between the shelf and the treadmill front-shelf-readerboard-thing.

Here's a couple really horribly-taken photos of my setup:

WINNER!!!

The trick here - you can't walk fast. Just a bit slower than your normal walking pace, as you have to be able to work while moving. I've read from other bloggers who type and walk that 1.5mph is the fastest you should go-and I found that to be a nice pace. I didn't feel like I was going too slow that it was awkward, but I felt like I could very easily type and read my screen.

Hopefully, I can stay motivated to continue - otherwise working at home is going to cause more harm than good.

*note that I have tried this once before and didn't have the much needed height to it, and wasn't very committed to walking slowly while on my laptop so I dismissed the idea. However, after barely moving the last month while working such long hours, I've definitely become fond of the idea. Even walking at such a slow pace is a gazillion times better for you than sitting on a couch bent over a laptop all day and night.

Sunday Musings - Winning Wars, New Stuff, Old Kittens

2013-01-20T19:02:00.001-08:00

I have a jumble of thoughts this morning. Bear with me and my more-random-than-usual-ness.

My foster girl is here through Monday at lunch. She has a nasty cold though, so we're not really doing a whole lot. Also-the foster parents she lives with can't get her to take cold medicine because she doesn't like the taste, so they only have been giving her something for the low fever. I successfully got her to take the cold medicine twice now and I felt like I won an award. When this girl doesn't want to do something, it's a full-on-raging-war to get her to follow your direction.

For instance, last night, she was sleepy and she isn't feeling good, but on the way to bed she needs to stop and brush her teeth. She didn't want to and made it clear. I got her into the bathroom, was able to get her to hold the toothbrush, but then she just stood there with her head down, arm out in front for a FULL SIX MINUTES, completely catatonic. Just standing there, not moving, not speaking, nothing. Six minutes is a LONG TIME to just stand still and look down. Keep in mind that she has some horrible past and in her 5.75 years has been through more than most of us will have to. But still - SIX MINUTES?! I stood out in the hall just out of her eyesight and watched to see if that outstretched arm would move, just waiting (thank god for smartphones) and eventually, I won the battle and the teeth did get brushed. Probably not well, but something is better than nothing.

My dad made me this picture for Presents Day. It's an etching, where apparently you scratch out the picture and test your overall patience and ability to focus for long periods of time. My dad won at that game fo sho:

I visited this store in Portland that I've never been to but will for sure go to monthly now. It's called ZimZim and has all kinds of random things. I bought this really cool wall calendar, small and simple like I like:

I also bought some earrings which are completely lost but will hopefully show up again someday since I never took them off their packaging and certainly never got to wear. And some stickers from Dre Day, which such wonderful quotes from his raps, like:

I don't really know what I will do with them. I originally was going to randomly give them out to people, but I don't want to give any away. You just can't come up with these things on your own-they are classic.

Remember last summer when Andrew and I fostered kittens and fell in love with a little sassy-pants we named Pippa? My friend adopted Pippa and another kitten we fostered, Ella (who is now Emma). We were able to go and visit young Pippa, who is still a bit sassy, but who is def not so little anymore. Emma/Ella was there, but is still a bit shy/skittish so we got to see her, but not really love on her.

Here's Pippa back in the day:

And here's Pippa now-much more grown up!

She's so big and cute and I love her so much!! If she would only stay little, I would have kept her forever. I am happy she has a really great home though, and especially happy that it's a home where we can go visit her!

My Mom Comes to Town...Moose and Falls and Squirrels and Lions and Penis Donuts, oh my!

2013-01-13T22:46:00.001-08:00

I had a day off!!! It's a rarity these days. Even more rare - seeing my mom!!!!

She moved from Washington state 1,447 miles away to Iowa state. And I have not seen her since May of last year. She is spending a week out in the pacific northwest, so I took off work on Friday and Saturday and I spent some good quality time with my mom and sister and a tiny bit of quality time with the-oh-so-busy Andrew.

The winter weather held out and the three of us girls headed out to Multnomah Falls - one of the top ten waterfalls not named Niagara. It's just about an hour from my house and includes a lovely scenic drive for part of it.

Pretty sure this is a cabbage field - with rows and rows, including purple cabbage?!

Driving through a small town, we saw a giant moose statue. The rules of any road trip dictate that anytime you see a giant moose statue, you MUST get a picture with it. So we did.

Rules also dictate that if possible, always take a picture of you riding the moose.

Random contemplating cowboy with dog shot.

A little stream we crossed to get to the base of the falls.

You can climb all the way to the top - it's only a mile, but it's steep and it's nothing but switchbacks the entire way. There are warnings at the visitors house about dangerous wet and icy conditions, but even without, I'm not sure I was up for the climb and my moms knees were definitely not. You can climb up .25 miles and get to a nice bridge for photo ops. On the way up - there are speed bumps. For out of control wheelchairs maybe? Runaway strollers? Crazy elders racing on scooters?

The view from the bridge.

The majestic Multnomah Falls!

Hiking up a short ways to take more pictures.

We did a bit of shopping at some random cool Portland shops, and ate at the Doug Fir Lounge.

Note the wood bar-it's like a giant log split in half. And the squirrel card at our table.

We played a game called Telestrations with Andrew and a friend, where we laughed and laughed over the fun interpretations. If you like to draw and have a group of friends who like that type of game, I highly recommend Telestrations as a party option!

This is very clearly "Lion Kill" - right??

And no trip to Portland would be complete without a trip to our favorite Thai restaurant, Beau Thai, and the ever-famous Voodoo Donuts. We waited in line for 15 minutes to buy overpriced novelty donuts and were disappointed that my sister couldn't go home with a "cock-n-balls" donut...but luckily we were driving by the other Voodoo location and Andrew played the hero and ran in and got his Aunt Jenny a special penis-shaped donut, just like she wanted. He's a good boy!

Not awkward at all.

And then all too quickly, our time came to an end. My mom had to leave, and so did my darling Andrew. He is now safely back in the dorms at USC, excited to start his sophomore year (he started in Spring so has just completed one full year).

And I miss them both.

2012 Year in Review - Here's to a Better Blogging Year in 2013!

2013-01-06T15:37:00.001-08:00

I have the grumpiest little foster girl in the ENTIRE WORLD staying with me this weekend.
And I have a ton of work to do...but then I discovered popurls a few months ago and that's the easiest distraction in the entire world.
And when I caught up with that site, I did about ten minutes of work again...but then Pinterest happened.
And then I got back to work again...but then there's facebook.

And this is how my day is going. And the grumpiest girl in the world is fighting a nap as if I was trying to poison her.

So since I have nothing to do today....let's post on my poor, neglected blog! The first post of 2013. Don't get your hopes up.

2012 was the slowest year ever for me as a blogger. I used to be really connected and involved, but this last year I have just pulled away. Mostly due to time constraints because of the new job. Slightly because I have a boring life. A tiny bit is because I have a horrible memory-in the old days, I would think of something to blog about during work or on the way home, and then later that night, I'd write it up. In the last year, my memory has been failing me and when I think of something (something really awesome every time I'm sure) while driving home, it completely disappears from thought by the time I get a chance to type it up. Let's hope this memory loss thing is not long-lasting.

Here's a quick recap of 2012:

January - I became an empty-nester as my young amazing Andrew went off to face the trials and tribulations of being a grown-up and enduring college life.
February - I became CPR certified and I can now save the life of my fellow human. Also, I turned 38 (yikes) and collected over 100 bottles of shampoo for my annual birthday shampoo drive.
March - I became certified as a therapeutic foster parent!! It is by far one of the best things I will probably ever do in my life, aside from raising the amazing Andrew. And this is the month that Andrew went to India(!!) for a business class trip!
April - Las Vegas, Baby!!! ..with the elders.
May - Mothers Day visit with my momma.
June - A new job for Kaylen!!!
July - I decided that just fostering humans wasn't enough...and Andrew and I had a summer of fostering kittens! We love having tiny little kitties in the house, but we discovered that it's not all fun and games. Tiny little kittens don't always survive. It was hard...but they don't all pass away, some thrive and grow to be wonderful and are adopted by wonderful people and have wonderful lives.
August - This is the month when I hold my annual backpack drive-a HUGE success again this year, and also the month where Andrew goes back to college.
September - omfg- I WAS IN SOUTH AFRICA!!!!!
October - Nothing really exciting, I worked a gazillion hours and got back into foster parenting 2-3 weekends a month.
November - This is the month where Andrew flew out of his teen years and entered his roarin' twenties!! It's still a bit shocking to believe.
December - Lots of fostering, crafting, and Presents Day! I worked a gazillion hours, but still managed to balance it with things that keep me sane and happy.

Presents Day 2012 - Done!

2012-12-30T08:52:00.003-08:00

Another Christmas, aka Presents Day, behind us. It was a fairly nice one, aside from the amount of time I spent looking at excel documents for work. It's hard to have deadlines during the holidays, but such is life...

We had a mini Xmas at home with my foster girl, a big one at my sisters and then a small one at home with just Andrew and I. Then an extra one at his cousins house, where I completely forgot to take any pictures, but that doesn't indicate that it was any less special.