Life of Red

Moving

2007-10-31T03:25:00.000+00:00

I've gotten my own url LifeofRed.com.

Make a note of it!

The Skull still rolls

2007-10-26T13:31:00.000+00:00

My buddy Hammer asked for a skull update.

The skull is holding up well even in this rain. The rain makes it glisten which makes it look even cooler. I often look around to see if anyone has noticed and oddly enough there aren’t many that have but here are a few of the reactions that I’ve caught:

While at a stoplight a car to my right looked over and noticed it and kept inching up to get a better look.

Ra's son, who’s almost 3, did just what I expected and walked up to the parked car and poked at it. Her older son, who’s 5, wanted to me to pick him up from school so his friends could see it.

When dropping Mini Red off at school some of the kids noticed. They were poking each other and pointing at my car. It was fun to watch their reactions.

Several people in my apartment building have mentioned it. They all say the same thing, “Do you have a… skull… on your car?”

At Family Dinner Night this week Mom said, “What is your fascination with skulls? I can’t believe you put one on your car!”

“People put wreaths on their cars for Christmas… I decided to put a skull on my car for Halloween.”

“Oh! It’s for Halloween?”

Evidently, she thought it was a permanent fixture.

The best so far is when I was driving into a high security facility. I noticed the guard was laughing as I pulled up so I said, “Hey, are you checkin out my decoration?”

He laughed and said, “That’s cool!”

I replied with a straight face and somewhat of a low voice, “It’s my ex husband.”

I fear I’m on a list somewhere now.

His Phoenix was Flaming

2007-10-25T18:11:00.000+00:00

An article in the LA Times states J.K Rowling “had always imagined one of the main characters in the "Harry Potter" series -- Albus Dumbledore -- to be gay.”

WTF?!?!

Does his sexual orientation really matter? It sounds to me like the LA Times was in need of something to fill space on their pages and latched onto something Rowling might have said in passing. They go into great detail pulling out all the clues in the series confirming that Rowling wrote Dumbledore with his homosexuality in mind.

They interviewed the Head of the Harry Potter Alliance. I can’t believe such an organization exists. This head guy, Andrew Slack, point out seven clues that indicate Dumbledore’s sexual orientation. I find them a bit far fetched but I think my favorite is when they said, “Albus Dumbledore" is an anagram of "Male bods rule, bud!"

Well that’s a bit of a reach wouldn’t you say?

For the full article: Seven clues that 'Potter's' Dumbledore was gay

Blaze of Devastation: A chance to help

2007-10-24T13:27:00.000+00:00

I’m back! Everything is crazy busy lately and I have pictures from the Taste of Georgetown and this past weekend in Chicago. I will get to it eventually but Mini Red, work and school have to come first.

While in Chicago I kept my ear to the ground about these fires in San Diego. My company has an office there and one person has been on my mind… Danean. I remember one year when the fires were blazing and she said she could see them from her back door. So naturally I was concerned she might be in the way of these fires.

Unfortunately, she was in the way but her family is safe. She sent a message yesterday:

“The kids, my mom and I are staying with friends in a kid friendly place and Lance and the dogs are staying in a dog friendly place. We will reunite when we moved into our "temporary" housing for the next year while we rebuild.

The insurance company is being really responsive so far and so many of our friends in town have given us housing options. Having so much local support really makes everything seem manageable. I just make my list each night and check off the items during the day as I finish them.

Thanks for all the support and the kind words.”

Brace yourselves the photos are devastating.
Before: After:When she evacuated, she had to leave her house with almost nothing. Because they have to stay off the roads, she is not really able to shop. Below is a list of items that she needs.

Clothes for her son, size 4T

Clothes for her daughter, size 2T or 3T

Toys (they especially like plastic animals)

DVD's

If you would like to help out please email me so we can coordinate something.

The head has been mounted!

2007-10-12T13:04:00.001+00:00

No I'm not talking about porn! The skull has been mounted on the car. I love it since it's kinda subtle.

I first took photos in the garage but it may have been too dark.

I forgot my camera this morning so I used my cell to take photos in the daylight when I was dropping Mini Red off at her bus stop this morning. You can even see her in the car.

As you can tell I took a schlew of pictures to, hopefully, get the idea.

If you see me in your travels around the Metro area drop me an email and let me know. No one seemed to notice the skull on my travels home yesterday or in to work today.

I gots to go

2007-10-11T15:04:00.000+00:00

I can't live in this building for much longer. The new manager is bullheaded and sits in her office like an Ice Queen, perched slothlike like on her throne, and helps no one. I swear she is there to keep us tenants miserable and everytime we go to her she throws up her hands as if they are a wall and tells us she can't help. I have been a good tenant and have gotten nothing but crap for it.

Everytime a new person moves into an apartment on my floor comcast unplugs my cable. When I called them they tell me they can't come out til Saturday but I just found out the office in my building is no longer open on Saturday. WTF! Now I have to wait til Monday for them to plug the fucker in.

Plus the evil building manager won't let me have access to the room to plug it back in myself. I don't normally raise my voice with people but this woman brings it out in me. Living there is becoming torture.

My only option for the TV is comcast. Direct TV won't work because of the trees and Verizon tells me that when FIOS was coming around the neighborhood my building must have said no. My only other option for internet is DSL and I can't go from highspeed to DSL. Ugh!

Comcast SUCKS!!!! Plus I am stuck in the middle of this fucking monarchy they have in Montgomery County.

Montgomery County needs Cox!

I'm going to either need to buy a place (that I can't afford) or move to Denver for this new project.

This redhead is currently PISSED OFF!

How to save money when traveling

2007-10-05T15:07:00.000+00:00

I have a wedding to go to this weekend and it's gonna be fun.

This is the wedding of a former co-worker, Tran, and he's the one that showed me Blogger and got me blogging. He is also the first person to refer to me as a MILF.

All the young'uns were gathered in the office one day and I said something, I don't remember what. I think he was suprised at my age I would say whatever it is I said. He turned around and said, "Red! You're a MILF aren't you?"

He and his Wife-To-Be have been together for a long time and they suit each other perfectly. Tran is always doing funny videos and even got WTB into it.

Here comes the Bride:

Expect to see more of "The Tran Files" in future posts.

It's been five years and look at how we've changed

2007-10-03T02:35:00.001+00:00

The other day I was pumping gas when I saw this car move from the gas pump over to vacuuming her car. I get gas at this station all the time and have no problem with that but I could never bring myself to vacuum my car here. I would rather go two blocks down and do it.

Why?

Because five years ago, October 3rd, at 9:58 am, in what was to be the fourth killing of the morning, 25-year-old Lori Ann Lewis-Rivera was fatally shot while vacuuming her mini van. The rampage didn’t subside til later that evening leaving 5 dead and thus begins the terror of the Beltway Sniper. In realty it wasn’t the beginning but it was the deadliest day of this reign of terror.

Fear struck so many around the Beltway and even further out. By the end of the day I couldn’t help but think this was like a bad movie profiling some serial killer on the loose. It was all so surreal and I just had that thought a year prior during 9/11. Wasn’t 9/11 enough?

People were terrified. The schools were locked down and the kids couldn’t play outside. Instead they were inside practicing what to do for code blue and code red alerts. When did our lives become like the move “Red Dawn”? These things didn’t happen here, especially around DC. It wasn’t really IN DC but all around it in the rural areas and primarily at gas stations. It changed the way we lived our lives and not just for those three weeks of terror but forever.

During those three weeks we all became very aware of our surroundings and every step was carefully planned out. One night I was coming back from a friend’s house in Frederick. Gas was getting low but I didn’t want to stop anywhere unfamiliar or rural. I was living in Bethesda at the time and there were two gas stations near me. As I was driving home I reviewed all the logistics of each gas station in my mind. I decided on the gas station that was surrounded by tall buildings since the other one had easy view of one rural street where someone could hide. People would weave when getting gas so as not to be a sitting duck.

White vans/cargo trucks became a thing to be feared. Whenever I would see one I would look for the orange sticker on the back indicating this white van/truck had been checked and cleared. How crazy is that? There was even a day that traffic got bad and people feared putting children on their school buses for fear of being picked off by the sniper while sitting in traffic. Mini Red’s Dad and I even discussed all of this and feared her red hair would make her a target on the play ground. We knew our thoughts were crazy but we had to be sure to keep her safe no matter what. Underneath, though, we all thought it would never be directed at a child until that day the 13 year old was shot walking into school. That was the most fearful day out of those three weeks because this meant they would stop at nothing not even a child. Thank goodness that child was being watched over by his aunt who saved his life.

At the time I was working on a base that was secured and I hated going to work and having to trust the bus and the school to keep Mini Red safe. The buses changed their routine and how they dropped the kids off. The kid’s route from the bus to the school was blocked and all schools were surrounded by police.

I think we all just wanted to hide inside but that would have given them more power. I hid one day… I just couldn’t bear it and I couldn’t let Mini Red out of my sight. I used that day to gather my wits to then forge forward.

There came a day when I needed gas again. I couldn’t leave Mini Red home alone since she was too young and I didn’t dare take her to a gas station with me. I called my Mom and she suggested I have Mini Red lay down on the floor in the back of the car while I pumped gas. I just couldn’t have Mini Red do that and feared that would scare her so Mom offered to keep her and I ran an errand for her in return. As I headed down the road I saw The Guardian Angels pumping gas at the Shell Station where Lori Ann Lewis-Rivera was shot. I decided that is where I would go for gas after running Mom’s errand. By the time I got back and was heading to that gas station I saw The Guardian Angels leaving. Damn! I couldn’t cross three lanes in time to go to the other station so I went to that Shell. I was terrified but collected myself with the theory that “lightening never strikes twice…” I pulled up to the pump facing the vacuum machine where it all happened. I got out and started the gas pumping and quickly got back in the car and slumped down. I was looking straight ahead into the darkness from where the shot came that kill Lori Ann. Suddenly, the pumping of the gas stopped with a big CLUNK and scared the crap outta me. I was lucky I didn’t pee my pants.

A few days later John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo were captured at a rest stop up in Middletown, MD. I swear you could feel the pressure lift off the DC Metro area and there was a collective sigh of relief from us all. It was over! But was it really? We were scared to let our guard down even after finding out how they did it with the hole in the trunk of the car. Even after figuring out how many they had killed across the country. It took quite some time to let our guard down and to this day I can’t even think about vacuuming my car at that Shell station.

First through third grade for Mini Red began with traumatic events and we saw the world change and more than just Mini Red growing up. First grade there was 9/11, Second grade was The Sniper and Third grade was Hurricane Isabella. By the time she started fourth grade I was holding my breath for fear of what would happen that year.

Those three weeks felt more like three months and it’s hard to believe that was five years ago. The world is a much different place now. The war has been fought here and we have felt terror on our own turf. We have felt it from an enemy abroad and the enemy within and both are equally terrifying. Our guards are still up and our skin is thicker but it doesn’t seem to be over yet and each day brings something new to guard against and a new way to protect ourselves.

For the life of me I just can’t seem to microwave popcorn

2007-09-30T19:35:00.000+00:00

It always ends up burnt so in my household Mini Red does the microwaving of popcorn.

On Saturday as I was walking into Bloom a little boy chased after me.

“Excuse me, excuse me. You wanna buy some popcorn?”

Here is where I would normally say politely, “Not today thank you.”

I don’t know why I didn't stick with my usual. Maybe it was because he was so cute and working so hard to sell his popcorn for his Cub Scout troop. Maybe I was just surprised they were selling popcorn. So I told him I would check it out on my way out.

I am a woman of my word and I was regretting telling him I would stop on my way out. I briefly debated walking out the other door and ditching him but I gave my word. So when I walked out I went right over to their table. It was two little boys and their Moms were standing behind them directing them.

When he said popcorn I didn’t think it would be microwave popcorn but I bought a box because it was for a good cause and Mini Red loves popcorn. The box was $15 so I handed the little boy a $20 but first he had to write it down on his list. His Mom was in the back telling him to take the money and write it down later. She then prodded him to give me my change of $5. You could see the wheels turning in his head as he contemplated this and didn’t want to give me change. After about the third prodding by his mother to give me the five he handed it to me and I thanked them for the popcorn and headed off.

I’m not a big microwave popcorn person but I was glad to help them out. I probably would never have even bought the popcorn if the boy hadn’t been forthright and approached me. I have to admire him for that.

So today, Sunday, I have been working all day… Again. I decided to try popping up some pop corn. I now remember the other thing I don’t like about it… It smells up the whole place. I only burned a little of it and the day is so nice that my windows are all open. The popcorn was good and Mini Red would be so proud. At least some of it was edible but in the future I think I will leave it to her.

Just a regular Fall Saturday

2007-09-30T03:44:00.000+00:00

This is the first weekend in a long time that I don’t have anything to do. Summer is over so no beach trips and I needed to do some grocery shopping but that’s about it… No plans and Mini Red is off at her Dad’s

Friday, I put in a 14 hour work day and by the time I left I just wanted a beer so I headed home, had a beer and went to sleep. I wanted to sleep in but as soon as the sun comes up I tend to be up too. So I chilled out before heading out to drop off items at the donation site and then off to the grocery store.

The grocery store seemed to be busy but not crazy and carts were even available. I headed towards the berries, which are a must for my morning oatmeal. There was a dude stacking fresh berries. I stepped up an apologized for messing up his great stacking job as I leaned in for some blackberries. He said, “No! Not those! Take these, they’re better.”

I leaned in again to grab some raspberries and again he took what I had grabbed and gave me what he called better ones. He then said, “You gotta look WOMAN! Maybe you need someone to help you shop.” Ya gotta love the crazy berry stacking dude.

This was a great way to start this trip and I couldn’t help but smile as I saw this guy interact with other passing people. I took my time and moseyed through the store marking off items on my list. It was nice to be able to just take my time and not rush. When I got in line a manager came up and moved me to an open line but it was the express line and I had more than 15 items. I pointed it out to him but he said it was ok. I like this calm taking my time stuff I think it makes my aura much happier and affects people around me.

Now that I think about it everyone was happy and chatty today. Even the dude at the donation drop off place but then again maybe he was just happy I didn’t run him over, which I could have done. When I moved to the express line at the grocery store I offered to let this elderly couple go in front of me but they waved me on. The elderly woman even helped out by handing me items from my cart to put on the belt. After I paid I leaned over and thanked her for her help and she had a great big smile.

My plan was to head home and put the groceries away and I was trying to decide if I was gonna go see The Kingdom or go get a manicure/pedicure but Ra called. So I whipped up a broccoli salad and headed over to the Ra household.

They had other friends over and hanging out too. This was a couple they had recently met at Temple and they have a 5 year old daughter. When I arrived the kids were playing on the trampoline. We were a bit nervous about the kids getting too close to the edge so I suggested they do “Ring Around the Rosie” in the center. They sand and then all fell down and giggled. Ra’s youngest popped up and said he wanted to do it again. Well he said it in his own way and the new friend was surprised I knew what he said because she didn’t understand him. I love that I know him well enough to know what he is saying.

Ra’s hubby Gurp cooked and we opened a bottle of Fat Bastard and we all hung out as we casually ate. It was so nice, not-to-mention rare, to feel so comfortable with new people.

I was the first to leave and hated to go but I could feel how tired I was from my toes to my head. I got hugs from everyone even the little girl. Ra walked me out and I told her how much I liked this family.

On my drive home I was thinking about my friendship with Ra and her family. She and I have had our moments where we have gone months without talking due to some disagreement but that doesn’t happen anymore. We are both stubborn and hard headed and our friendship just keeps getting stronger. I have learned so much from her and I’m so glad to have her and her family. They have taught me to open up and trust. Gurp has become a really good friend too and he even brought back a little something for Mini Red and me from his trip to Bahrain. The boys look up to Mini Red like a big sister and I love that they call me Auntie.

It turned out to be a great day and I learned to just sit back and chill out, which was desperately needed. I can’t wait to do it again but next time I’m getting a turn on the trampoline.

Ever just feel like Cod?

2007-09-27T00:08:00.000+00:00

Last night Mini Red had swimming and I had work to do so once we got home neither of us felt like making our lunches for Wednesday. I didn’t let on but I was more than happy to oblige since I’ve been having a hankering for Cod and Chips from Eamonn’s.
I just love this place! The food is good, inexpensive, they have beer and their fried snickers will cure what ails you as I proved to a few stressed girls in the office just the other week.

There was a time when I would go out to lunch everyday but it hurt my wallet and I wasn’t appreciating what's around me here in Old Town Alexandria. Plus all I was eating were salads from Cosi and I was there so often that they would start making my salad as I walked through the door. I guess I’m a creature of habit. My first visit to Eamonn’s was quite a bit after it had opened and when I walked in the Hot Young’un behind the counter said “Ohhh you’re cheating on Cosi!” That's because he used to work there.

For some reason this dude always remembers me and always asks where I've been. I guess the red hair makes me stick out like a sore thumb. I do have to say that the hot young’uns all patronize this place so I don’t mind placing my order and hanging out to wait. It’s well worth it.

So if you’re in Old Town you need to stop by Eamonn’s and try some Cod. The Chesapeake Tartar is the best one and tell 'em Red sent ya.

This is what I love about Maryland

2007-09-26T21:08:00.000+00:00

Chase (Sis's dude) sent me this ad from You Tube.

Right to the point.

This isn't how Martha Stewart would do it

2007-09-26T03:53:00.000+00:00

During the holidays, and I’m talkin Christmas, you’ll see people go and put wreaths on the grille of their vehicles. This isn’t something I tend to get into. I don’t even like to put stickers of any kind on my car cause I like it just the way it is.

Well... the holidays are approaching, and I’m talkin Halloween. I got a bug up my butt to put a decoration on my car but I want to make sure it won’t hurt my car in any way and I’m not sure how to do this. I’m gonna need some help but before I could make the call my buddy Wes called to tell me he’s been re-hired after the layoffs we had.

Wes is a handy dude to be friends with since fun for him is converting vehicles to run on used vegetable oil or anything that requires use of a backhoe. Thank goodness is wife doesn’t mind lending him out now and again.

After chatting about him coming back to "The Company" I tell him my idea. How Mini Red and I were hanging in Rite Aid checking out all the Halloween stuff and a styrofoam skull caught my attention. That’s when it hit me and I decided I want to affix a skull to the hood or grille of my car in celebration of Halloween. He’s laughing so I’m getting the vibe he loves my idea. I figure this skull might help me out driving through D.C. and maybe everyone will get outta my way for fear of their skulls joining the one already on my hood. I probably need one on the rear of the car too and maybe the tailgaters will stop riding my ass. Especially around National Airport where the speed limit is 40 mph and everyone goes at least 60 mph so I tend to just move to the right and let them pass.

So I digressed… We discuss if styrofoam is the best option and able to withstand the elements and how are we gonna affix this without leaving any marks or scratches on my car. Plus I’m concerned the skull could come loose and fly up into my windshield. He said he would come by and check out the skull and we can plan how we’re gonna achieve this.

In the meantime, a/k/a the weekend, I found a better skull at Target that’s made for indoor/outdoor use. This one is plastic and looks more realistic too!
Tuesday, Wes stopped by the office and we went to the garage with the skull. The original idea of cutting off the back for a better fit will work with this skull too and all we need are some nylon ties to hook it in the center of the front grilles right over the Pontiac symbol. He was gonna take the skull so he can use the equipment at his other job to cut off the back of the skull and holes will need to be made in the side for the nylon straps. I’m still concerned about possible scratching from where the skull will be cut so he’s gonna soften the edges with some sort of tape unless he comes up with a better idea.

When the holiday is over I just need to snip the straps and store the skull away for next year. Ahh next year… Maybe we can make the eyes light up by then?

The skull should be in place by next week so keep and eye out for me and if ya see me honk and wave.

The Ray Lewis Photoshop Challenge

2007-09-25T13:15:00.000+00:00

Hammer from Throwing Hammers had another Photoshop Challenge.

This time I participated. I can't match the imagination of these dudes but at least I gave it a shot. I think next time I need to throw down a few beers to chill me out before sitting down to put something together.

I think my favorite is Ray Lewis with the Civil War Reenactors. Great Job you guys I have a lot to learn from you

Check out the results.

The devil was cast out and it was FM!

2007-09-24T02:15:00.000+00:00

Last weekend was a big weekend, Little Man was baptized therefore cleansing his soul and casting the devil out.

Sil had a bunch of relatives trek down from Connecticut for the big event. Her cousin Kate is one of my favorite people and always has a funny story of the odd things that happen to her.

My favorite story was Kate’s trip to the post office when she was living in Long Island several years ago. Sil’s brother, The Officer, is often overseas due to his job in the military. Kate had gone to mail him a package and at the time she was about 8 months pregnant with her third child.

She got to the counter and as the clerk was processing her package she put two and two together, or so she thought, and suddenly was loudly saying “Ohh maa Gawd!”

Kate was startled and didn’t understand what was going on. Until the clerk continued (in a thick Long Island accent), “He’s gonna miss the berth of the baby. Ohh maa Gawd!”

Kate didn’t know how to get a word in to even stop her as the clerk continued, “I’m gonna pray fer you. I’m gonna pray fer you and I’m gonna pray fer da baaby and I’m pray fer da faather. Ohhh maa Gawd!”

She then hollered to another clerk, “SYLVIA! Look at dis. She’s pregnant and da faather is fightin fer our country and gonna miss the berth. I’m gonna pray fer dem. I’m gonna pray fer hur and I’m gonna pray fer da baby and I’m gonna pray fer da faather. Ohh maa Gawd!”

Then Sylvia chimed in and pointing to Kate and her belly and the package, “Ohh maa Gawd! Don’t worry dear I’m gonna pray fer you too! I’m gonna pray fer you and I’m gonna pray fer da baby and I’m gonna pray fer da faather. It's gonna be OK.”

At this point if Kate could even get a word in she was afraid to burst their bubble. She knew immediately she could never go in that post office again let alone send any packages to The Officer from there.

One of the best things about Kate’s stories is how animated she gets and her impersonations of these Long Island women. She had us in stitches for most of the weekend.

Sunday morning was the baptism and I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many in attendance for a baptism. We were all a little surprised how the priest explained one set of prayers which are prayers used in exorcisms. He said, “Exorcisms do happen and baptism is the first step in protecting our souls from the devil. It’s very likely a baby could have the devil in him so we need to cast it out as part of the baptism.” I could see Sil and Brotha Man look at each other a little surprised and Brotha Man even mentioned it later when we were all back at The Folks for a bite to eat.

After the baptism we all were hanging around in the church chatting before heading to The Folks. I was talking to Cousin P and his parents, Uncle P and Aunt D. Cousin P was telling us about this google text thing where you send a question to 466453, e.g. for directions or movie times, and you get a text back with the information. He had used it the night before to get directions and was glad he had it. He then said, “It was FM!”

Uncle P and Aunt D were nodding in agreement and turned to me and said, “Do you know what FM is?”

“Nope.”

Aunt D tells me when she first met Uncle P she had sold him a computer. This was way back when computers used those 8 inch floppy drives and you had to format them before you could use them. So Aunt D types in FM at the prompt and Uncle P says, “What does FM stand for?”

Aunt D replied, “Fucking Magic!”

Uncle P and Aunt D soon started dating, got married and had three kids that are now grown… FM!

FM has become a staple phrase in their family and those around them. This is an easy phrase to adopt and can fit so many situations, but maybe we shouldn't be using this language in the house of God. We all looked around to see if anyone had overheard our conversation and we moved on out of there.

Eileen was complaining Friday at the HH that I need to post more often and she has been looking for a new post all week. See Eileen I have finally posted. FM!

Deciphering the photos on Match.com

2007-09-15T16:10:00.000+00:00

The summer’s over and Mini Red is off at her Dad’s. I did some happy hour time with a few friends Friday in Old Town. I guess these types of weekends are the ones that can make you feel lonely. You know… no one to hang out with. So I found myself perusing Match.com. This is something I could never do again after all the scary dates I got from there.

All these men say such similar things but you can’t help but look at the photo and just move on. The plethora of photos is amazing and no one realizes there is a rule to this type of thing. I see the same thing over and over. Don’t they realize the message they’re sending with these photos?

No Shirt: Please cover it up I would rather find out for myself.
With Kids: You are exploiting your kids or someone else’s. Do you think you’re some politician?
With Women: I don’t want to see every woman you have slept with or not slept with. This just tells me you won’t be real and you're just a player.
With Old People: Ok so these may be your parents or just some old people you rented but again you are exploiting them too and again you're not a politician.
Scenery: WTF? I’m trying to find out what you look like and if we might look good together or even make good looking kids. What is the point of these photos? Does this mean you bring the camera to the bedroom too? Kinky!
With a Group: Which one are you? I guess this means you have lots of friends/family or is it just a cult? Hey your friend is hot maybe you can introduce me to him.
Possessions: Ok so you have a nice Car/Motorcycle/Boat are you trying to use that as a ploy to nab a chick? “Pick me I have money and toys” but do you really have them? I don’t see you in some of these photos either.
Travel shots: This isn’t shutterfly and you don’t need to post ALL your photos from your most recent trip 10 years ago.

Women can be very similar in how they post. I went and checked them out too cause I’m curious as to who is posting out there.

In Bikini: Yeah I know the dudes love this kinda stuff and because they love it this must be why they post themselves shirtless. I think I just screams “I’m horney have sex with me NOW!” Ok so there’s nothing wrong with that but have some tack ladies.

The Poses: This can be comical e.g. the poses that are set up to look natural, the hair flipped and the coy looks, straddling a motorcycle.

Glamour Shots: Hello! You took those ten years ago when you were 50 lbs lighter. When you see that look of surprise on the dude’s face when you meet for the first time it isn’t because you look hot.

With Kids: If a woman poses with kids or more likely a baby it means she wants one bad. Her clock is ticking and she is looking for a clock repair man.

The men and women both posts similarly and because they know if the picture is good then maybe someone will read what they have to say, which is all the same too. “Oh I’ve never done this online thing before”, “I can’t believe I’m doing this” or “I finally decided to try this match thing”.

It’s not easy putting yourself out there for possible ridicule or through awful dates. Kudos for those of you who keep trying online and find something out there, Mini Red’s Dad met his wife on there. I’ve found it’s just not for me.

The Tooth Fairy Goofed

2007-09-12T15:45:00.000+00:00

I was cleaning and organizing my email and came across this email:

From : Tooth Fairy
Sent : Wednesday, September 8, 2004 4:55 PM
To : reddudette@hotmail.com
Subject : Mini Red's Tooth Transportation

Dear Ms. Dudette,

Thank you for your email concerning Mini Red’s Tooth Pickup. We are sorry the tooth wasn't picked up last night. We understand that this caused Mini Red some distress this morning. We are happy to hear she at least found her money.

The Tooth Fairy for your area had a busy night last night and every time she came to pick up the tooth Mini Red was still awake. This in turn made for a speedy drop off of her money and The Fairy missed picking up the tooth.

At this point we ask that Mini Red place the tooth under her pillow again this evening at bedtime. Please ask Mini Red to try and get to sleep as early as possible since for some reason this is a busy time for us.

Thank you for your patience at this busy time.

-Southern Montgomery County Tooth Fairy Division

Obviously, I had goofed up one night and had to do something to help her keep the faith. So I created the yahoo account and sent this email. Mini Red read it and read it again before asking where the email was that I had written to them since she didn’t see it below this one. I played it off well and that was out of selfishness.

See once I was old enough not to partake in such events along came Brotha-Man and Sis. I took over many of the duties of setting things up to look like we were visited in the night by one fairy or another. At Easter I even bit off part of the napkin and Brotha-Man had gotten such a kick out of it think the Easter Bunny was so hungry that he ate some of the napkin. As Brotha-Man and Sis became old enough not to partake I had Mini Red and this became even more fun with her. So at the time I goofed up this situation with the Tooth Fairy Mini Red was questioning me heavily and with a spotlight in my face. I wasn’t ready to give this up so I needed to get inventive.

Now here we are three years later and I know Mini Red doesn’t believe like when she was little but it goes without saying that she must keep up the façade for Mamma Red.

Just a regular evening at home with The Reds

2007-09-12T01:34:00.000+00:00

Somehow the TV ended up on the show The Power of 10 with Drew Carey.

The questions are great and some are very thought provoking.

Some of the questions:

What percentage of American women wear a thong on a regular basis? 12%

What percentage of Americans have left work for some “afternoon delight”? 25%

What percentage of Americans believe they have found their soul mate? 62%

I'm suprised at these percentages.

Next week one of the questions is:

What percentage of Americans would admit they are a homosapien? Or something to that effect. I turned that question to Mini Red and she had no idea what a homosapien is. I suggested she google it.

She came back and said she still didn’t know what it was so I went to the computer and googled it and clicked on wikipedia and that just gave you two choices: Homosapien or Human. When I clicked on Human Mini Red threw her arms up blocking the screen and screamed, “OH! It’s a PENIS! Jeeze Mom!” I nearly fell over laughing.

What’s your 9/11 story?

2007-09-11T12:44:00.000+00:00

Everyone has their own 9/11 story to tell. Last year I told mine. I sat down to read it again last night and no matter how much I would like that day to be put behind us I realize we must never forget. Every American’s life was changed that day. Lugi did a post remembering 9/10, which reminded me how different our lives are now. We can never again let our guard down and the smallest things we would have never noticed before are now alerts to grave possibilities.

I’ve found I’m fascinated hear people’s stories. If you’ve posted your story leave me the link in the comments so I can read it.

The Mammas escaped for a night out on the town

2007-09-11T01:41:00.000+00:00

Friday was an evening of several Blogger Happy Hours. Gunfighter was hosting one in Arlington and I’m sorry I missed it but location and timing was not on my side. I was able to make the other Blogger HH thanks to Ra and her Hubby.

Before I get to that I promised Ra that I would give an update. Not too long ago I was upset with her and blogged about it. We have been good friends for some time and so I went to her because I decided that I didn’t want to lose the friendship. Seems we had a series of misunderstandings one of which was when I thought she hung up on me when in reality she was dealing with a screwy airline and at the counter at the time. Ra and I have had our differences over the years and we have both had our moments of stubbornness but I think that is what defines true friends. True friends can have misunderstandings and disagreements and still come together and discuss it openly.

So after work Mini Red and I headed to Columbia. Mini Red was gonna hang with Mr. Ra and help him with the boys who are 5 and 2. Ra hadn’t been out like this in quite some time. We arrived at Mad Hatters and I was pleasantly surprised to recognize quite a few people. Before diving in I decided to grab a drink especially since diving into such a social situation can be a bit difficult for me. As my beer was arriving Kassy saw me and came over. She has been taking some time off to pursue her dream of writing and let me tell ya I don’t think I’ve ever seen this chick seem so happy and content at where she is in her life at this moment. If you’re read this Chef… You’re a good man!

Then VK saw me from the other end of the bar and threw me a sexy look. Yes, the old MILF is representing and I love the new look of your blog. I soon noticed I-66 had appeared and we caught up before he was off to grab Arjewtino and help settle a question of mine. Now I’m not one to ask for a link but I had to wonder if Arjewtino was mad at me since he hadn’t linked to me when he moved to his new url. He just hugged me a few more times and promised to fix it Monday. He fixed it and also gave me a blogger report card grade of a C+. I think that should be upped considering his oversight caused me so much heartache plus the law (and common sense) keeps me from bringing Mini Red to a bar.

I met so many new people too: INPY was telling me of his favorite post of mine and how Mini Red flipped me off. I didn’t have the heart to tell him she didn’t. Plus she would have been in deep doo doo if she had. I also got to finally meet VVK and that is one tall dude. I have also found some new blogs to check out… Starting Today… and Just Going with It

As always it was good to see Pat from DC Blogs before he snuck out of there since the crowd was getting rowdy. As I was chatting it up there were some drums being played on my back by none other than Throwing Hammers. I promptly asked for the jacket that was promised since I was now in the Photoshop Club. He has promised an upcoming Photoshop challenge and I’m game to see what he comes up with. The night was topped of with an appearance by Joe, who is one of my favorite bloggers to hang out with.

The night was a blast and it was great to see everyone. Thanks for a great time and I’m anxiously awaiting the date of the next one in hopes I can make it.

What is this world coming to? Everyone should just go naked

2007-09-07T19:34:00.000+00:00

Southwest pulled Kyla Ebbert off a flight because ONE passenger complained of her skirt being too short! WTF!

The Story from CNN.

I fear our country is forgetting that we are "Land of the Free" when crap like this happens.

I'm flying to Chicago next month and maybe I should just fly naked! At least I won't be flying Southwest.

Labor Day weekend at the Beach

2007-09-06T02:20:00.000+00:00

The end of last week had me grumpy and I even had second thoughts about going to the beach. I couldn’t stay home though because it would have been depressing. I was down, partly, because it seemed there was no way I could make it in time for happy hour. So in an attempt to get to the beach as soon as possible I offered to drop Mini Red at her Dad’s. The drive to her Dad’s seemed to have the most traffic and in total I spent over four hours trying to get to the beach. My saving grace was The Folks got a bushel of crabs and it was ready and waiting for me when I got there. I took a pull from the kegerator and copped a squat to enjoy the feast.

After crabs I put fresh sheets on the beds and climbed in with Harry Potter… The book not the boy. I was near the end and dying to finish so I could be an all knowing Harry Potter reader. The problem is I couldn’t keep my eyes open but I fought it until I could fight no more. When I finally turned the lights out I could feel my eyes shaking due to fighting to keep them open.

Saturday, we were all up at a reasonable time. Dad and I made egg sandwiches for everyone and we needed to be across the street by 10 for our 10:30 appointment to rent wave runners. The last time I did this I drove and Dad was on the back. This time Mom was driving and I was on the back. Plus this time we didn’t have to make our way through the channel, which was a bit frightening for a first timer. We got out to the marked area for our hour of fun. Mom would take off but then stop rather quickly because she couldn’t see a thing due to all the water in her face. So I took her sunglasses and put them on so she could try without the sunglasses but that was worse and her eyes were burning from the bay water. We decided to trade places and let me have a shot at driving. The switch was a bit scary when Ma stood up but we made the switch without her falling in. It took some getting used to especially with all the water splashing in my face. At first I think Ma was a bit scared because I would turn my head to protect my face from the oncoming water. This way I would have at least one good eye at all times but the water was so choppy I had to just shake it off and keep going knowing that as we went faster we would skim the top of the waves and there would be less water in the face. I mean talk about multitasking: Water in the face, oncoming boats and various water vehicles, making sure Ma didn’t fly off oh and the buoys. We had to stay within these four buoys that were our parameters, which seemed to be a large area at first but when you get going you had to stop because you reached the end. It didn’t take me long to get the hang of it and I would take off because I wanted to see how fast I could get this thing going. The problem is Ma would start laughing so hard, which would get me laughing and a wave would hit and I would swallow a ton of water which would make me laugh more. Or we would just get laughing so hard I would have to stop. I was so determined to get up to at least 40mph that I would lean forward and grit my teeth and hold on tight and just push it. Meanwhile, Mom was hanging on for dear life and when we would go flying we would both lift off the seat and she would scream for me to stop. Oh my, I have tears running down my face as I type this.

Knowing that there wasn’t much time left Ma and I switched so she could have a whirl in the drivers seat again. I was nervous with her driving and I tried not to be an annoying backseat driver. When time was up Ma drove us back in and as they helped us park the wave runner Ma hollered to Dad that she was ready to buy one. When we got on dry land all four of us realized how sore we were and we were shaking. Every muscle was used from the hands and arms to drive and steer as well as legs and hips for just holding on.

We got back to the condo and decided to pull out the left over crabs for lunch but first I had to finish Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It didn’t take me long to finish and I was able to enjoy the end without having heard any spoilers. When I sat down to eat crabs it wasn’t as easy as usual because I was so sore right down to my fingertips.

Ma headed off to the craft show at the Convention Center but the walk back proved difficult after the day’s events. Dad needed to get a new cable box because the one he had was acting up and it was a weekend of football. Dad was in heaven: beach, football, beer and family. Only something was missing… Brotha Man, Sil and Little Man. I guess that makes three things missing. Brotha Man and Sil haven’t made it to the beach at all this summer but they had something better going on… they have been having fun with their new Little Man.

So as Ma and Dad headed off to do their own thing Sis, Chase and I headed to Seacrets. Instead of sitting at or near the water we were able to procure some seats at one of the bars and smack dab in front of a couple of TV’s so we could watch the VA Tech / ECU game. Seal, a friend of Brotha Man and Godfather to Little Man, showed up carrying his version of a man purse and not like a beach bag either. We teased him but he took it well because he had necessities to carry like his inhaler, which is very important and you would understand if you saw all the hot chicks in bikinis. Seacrets was crazy busy and there was so much going on and each of us were doing our own thing.

Sis and I ventured around and found Teacher had arrived and he quickly got going to the tune of “Dude looks like a Lady” while wearing a woman’s top/dress no less. The women, the drunken women, just flock to him. We once saw an older, wrinkly drunk woman in a bikini attacking him and he had to have his boys help save him from the Cougar.
The great thing about Seacrets is you will find all kinds of interesting people and they tend to loose their inhibitions. Let’s take for example the dude who looks like he had portions of his chest waxed just like in “The Forty Year Old Virgin”. I think he noticed me taking pictures and that’s when he put his shirt on. I didn’t feel bad because if you put it out there then you need to deal with it or else don’t put it out there.
Back at the bar a dude came up to asking the bartender a question and he got all pissy when the bartender said he couldn’t hear him because the blender was running. It wasn’t long before the guy was back and standing behind me still being a jack ass to the bartender. This time the bartender said something and the pissy dude finally understood and apologized. The third time the guy came back he said something to me and asked why I was giving him the eye. I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about but when he mentioned the rift between him and the bartender I said, “Oh you’re the one being a jack ass to the bartender. Beware cause I’m his body guard.” He took my ribbing well and we chatted for a bit. I found out he is Sam the Palestinian from Bethesda and he had this booger in his nose. The booger was still there when he came back later but there is no way I could have said anything. I hate when that shit happens and you can’t help but just stare at it with a fear he might laugh and shoot it on you.

More friends of Sis showed up and Seal and friend left. It was interesting to watch the people sitting around the bar since they seemed older. I found it interesting that some of these women would get so done up to sit at a bar in the afternoon when so many are nearly naked. It must be their age, which is right around my age I would guess. I was so opposite of them because I think I had all of mascara on. I had taken a shower after the wave runners but didn’t wash my hair which was up in a ponytail and I had my visor on. I wore some of my shorter shorts and a tank top and Sis and Chase tell me I was hit on a lot. Chase said I was the flame and they were the moths. I didn’t remember it being like that but there was this other man who was sitting next to us and joining in on our conversations. He made comments on my pink toes and I think he even asked for my number a few times. He was a nice enough guy but since I had been drinking it was easier to thwart his advances.

I had reached my limit of alcohol so I got some water and ventured around Seacrets on my own. This is when I came upon the Sexual Position Competition. The rules were: two people of the opposite sex were to link arms back-to-back. They had to dance like this and when the music stopped they had to find another person of the opposite sex and get in a sexual position. The better the creativity the longer you lasted in the competition. The winners got t-shirts and maybe a little turned on and I got some great photos.

I headed back to where Sis and Chase were and they were surprised to see me. Sis thought for sure I had left since I was gone so long. At this point I was done and I wasn’t gonna drink anymore so I left and headed back to the Condo. The Folks weren’t there and I figured they were at Macky’s. So as I was trying to decide my next move I sent a drunk text before I headed off to bed. When in doubt catch up with your sleep… right?

I woke up around 11:30pm with a nice headache and Sis and Chase walked in shortly thereafter from their night out at another bar after Seacrets. I was wishing I hadn’t sent that text message so I made sure I deleted all traces of that phone number. I’m not such a hard ass not to believe in second chances but if he’s interested he will let me know because recent events show he still has my number. Anyhow, an inebriated Chase and I sat down and he got all serious talking about the attention I seemed to attract today and what is it with guys. He hit the nail on the head when he asked if I thought dudes get put off because I’m a Mom. At this point I changed the subject because last year at the beach after an evening at one of the bars Chase was telling me what a great job I’m doing with Mini Red and he Sis and I had the drunk tears going on. I wasn’t about to let that happen again so instead my thoughts turned to another kind of sadness: the summer at the beach was over and this is the first summer in quite a few years that I didn’t get thrown in the pool by YDH.

It was a beautiful weekend and I'm sad to see the summer go.

I know it's a school night but I went out anyway

2007-09-05T04:39:00.000+00:00

Tonight I had the opportunity to go out to the 9:30 Club. I hadn't been there in way too many years and I won't let it be that long again.

Some friends had an extra ticket to check out The Editors and lemme tell ya I'm digging this band.

Three bands played tonight and we missed Ra Ra Riot but we caught Biffy Clyro. Biffy Clyro's first song caught me off guard since they are more of a bang your head type group but they quickly grew on me.

We thought for sure we would be the oldest ones in the place but found we fit in perfectly.

Labor Day Parade in Kensington

2007-09-03T19:03:00.000+00:00

2007 marks the 40th anniversary of the Labor Day Parade in Kensington. It has definitely grown since then and my family has it traditional corner where they sit on Connecticut Avenue. As Mini Red and I headed to the family spot we picked up a friend of hers… a BOY! Oye!

When we got to the corner I bumped into a lot of old friends and family and family friends. I love seeing everyone since this is the only time I see some of them.

The parade was great and had a little bit of everything:

After the parade everyone headed into town to get something cold to drink or a bite to eat. There was the usual fanfare and I headed straight for the crab cakes. As I walked further down I noticed the parade was still going and making its way back into town. I was heading right into the thick of things. Once the parade was over there were a lot of people and I was unsure I could fight through them so I waited until the majority had passed. I couldn’t imagine the center of town getting any more crowded then it was when I was there and I was glad I was on my way out.

I don’t think I have ever seen so many people at the Labor Day Parade. Maybe the route of the parade was changed to make it longer. Plus the day it about perfect for a parade no wonder there were so many people.

Ok so I need to do some catch up here…

2007-08-28T03:33:00.000+00:00

After posting “Yeah I got a Name for this type of Dude” Sis, Mini Red and I headed to the White Marlin Open where I bumped into Boating Man. He was shocked to see me and found out we had friends in common. Meanwhile, the winning Blue Marlin was brought in weighing 632.5 lbs.

Mini Red had three surfing lessons during our vacation. She was amazing and by the third lesson she rode a wave in. I enjoyed sitting on the beach drinking my coffee and taking photos not only Mini Red surfing but all the surfers. It was beautiful.

Mini Red stayed at the beach with Ma while I headed back for a week of work. I was so jealous but I was back the next Friday and I made it in time for Happy Hour at Macky's. That weekend Mini Red and I had a lot of fun digging a big hole on the beach and playing Pirate Golf. I thought I might have captured our Christmas photo but Mini Red’s face is obscured by her hair.

That Sunday I had to take her to her Dad’s where she would stay for another week away. We spoke every day and it seems she didn’t do a whole lot but then again it was her last week of Summer Holiday.

Finally, this past Friday Mini Red came home and to top it off she presented me with a beautiful silver heart necklace for my birthday. I spent the evening working til late while she got unpacked and organized so we could have a fun weekend before school started.

First thing, Saturday, we were off to get school supplies and Target was crazy town. We got our errands completed in time for the pool party and we couldn’t have asked for a better time. Everyone was playing in the pool and got out just as the food was being brought off the grill and a big storm blew in. We met lots of new people and even tried goat meat kabobs. One of the families has a goat farm and the goat meat was awesome.

Sunday, we relaxed, caught the movie The Nanny Diaries and got ready for the first day of school. The movie was great but Mini Red and I had a tough time sleeping Sunday night. Mini Red and I were both a little nervous about the first day of school plus I had the beginning of three days of training I have to do. It’s always a little nerve wracking standing up in front of a bunch of people teaching them a few things to help them do their job better.

Monday, Mini Red and I headed out with dark circles under our eyes but our fears of the day proved unfounded. She has reconnected with some friends and my training preparation day proved I’m ready to teach for the next two days.

Next weekend I am back at the beach and the plans call for Seacrets and some Pain in De Asses. I can’t wait!