Life on Minden

Introducing...

2012-01-06T15:03:00.000-08:00

Our daughter!

She was born on December 12th in a dramatic fashion and is the love of our lives.

In the past three weeks I have been dealing with the recovery from labor (third degree tears are not fun), figuring out breastfeeding and all the associated worry/pain, getting through mastitis (midway through the antibiotics for that), plus the holidays and family, etc. And of course figuring out how to be a mommy to a newborn. There have been a lot of tears (both happy and sad) but so so much love.

I hope to post the birth story soon and start to write here and there. Happy new year to everyone!

Favorite Pregnancy/Parenting Reads

2011-12-05T20:20:00.001-08:00

My due date is today and I'm still pregnant. I am giant and extremely cranky and spend a lot of time begging the baby to come out and whining about how much I'm sick of being pregnant. I really am SO sick of being pregnant. I want to be able to feel my fingers again, to not have to use all my effort to get out of bed, to sleep on my stomach and to finally meet my sweet baby. Oh and finally know if I've been growing a son or a daughter all this time.

Also I'm uber prepared. I've spent the past few weeks organizing, cleaning and buying everything we could possibly need for this baby. I am also now working from home and already wrapped up almost everything last week so really now I'm just bored and anxious. I spent the day sitting on my ass, watching Harry Potter and feeling irritated that nothing was happening. My mom is coming in town tomorrow evening so at least I'll have some company and someone to make me delicious Sri Lankan food.

Anyway, I figured since it has been ages since I wrote a post, I would write some of my favorite reads throughout this pregnancy.

Pregnancy Blogs/Websites:

Pregnant Chicken - hilarious pregnancy blog. My favorite post is Awkward Pregnancy Pictures - so many guns, watermelons and awkward naked/sexual poses
Amalah weekly pregnancy calendar - week by week guide to pregnancy
Babycenter Blog - different posts covering parenthood, pregnancy, celebrity baby gossip, etc
Bee in the Pod - collection of posts from weddingbee girls who are now going through pregnancy/TTC
Hellobee - great new TTC, pregnancy and parenting blog created by Bee Kim of Weddingbee

Newsletters:

Lucie's List - a survival guide for new moms, baby registry basics, plus you can sign up for funny, useful weekly tips and advice.
Baby center, The Bump, What to Expect When Expecting - these sites will all email you weekly about your baby's development, tips, etc. I signed up for all three which is kind of annoying towards the end. Choose 1-2 and go from there.

Mom/Parenting Blogs/Websites:

Amalah
Motherlode - NY times parenting blog
Rookie Moms

Breastfeeding:

Kellymom - awesome advice and information on breastfeeding, sleep and parenting. Highly recommend reading this in your third trimester.
The Zhukeepers - Great advice from a lovely weddingbee mommy

Books:

Guide to Natural Childbirth - Ina May Gaskin. This book wasn't necessarily my cup of tea but then again I am pretty sure I want an epidural and believe in modern medicine. Also I don't really believe that a euphoric/sexual childbirth exists. I mean pushing 5-10lbs through my lady parts just isn't something I think I'll enjoy. That being said, it is useful for giving you lots of birth stories and not spinning birth in such a negative way. Childbirth is something women were made to do and many women don't need a lot of interventions to have a healthy baby. I don't think birth has to be the horrific nightmare that people love go on and on about. Why women like to tell you awful things about their own labors when you are pregnant is beyond me. Yes I know its going to hurt - I don't need to hear about your 4th degree tear and how things just aren't the same down below. I ramble but read this if you are curious about natural childbirth.
What to Expect When Expecting - Heidi Murkoff - This book I found to be really annoying and presents WAY too many scenarios. I don't need to know what to do if I was on crack before I realized I was pregnant thank you.
Brain Rules For Baby - Written by a molecular biologist this book is about scientific research on how to raise a smart and happy child from pregnancy through 5 yrs of age. I listened to this on audiobook and it was interesting and somewhat useful.
Baby Bargains - Great book about necessities for a newborn, and tips to save on all the many many baby related items you will have to purchase.

IPhone App:

Baby Bump - Great iphone app that gives you daily and weekly updates, has some great boards and features like kick counters, contraction timers, baby names, etc

Nursery Inspiration:

Oh and definitely sign up for Amazon Mom - its sweet and you get prime membership for up to 9 months for free!

Those are the blogs, websites and books I can remember for now. I did do a lot of pregnancy reading by going through former weddingbee girls who were TTC, prego or a mom - you can find them listed on Bee in the Pod. Some of my favorites are Geek in Heels, Oh Apostrophe, and OMG...I'm a Mom.

Hope this was somewhat helpful. It helped me focus on something besides going into labor so at least there is that. Also feel free to comment with great blogs, books, etc that I might have missed. :)

My little melon

2011-10-24T10:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've written and honestly the weeks seem to be bleeding into one another. I can't believe its November next week. I feel like yesterday I was thinking, "Shit I can't believe its October next week".

So I'm 34 weeks now and baby weighs about as much as a cantaloupe (4.75lbs). I kind of can't believe that the baby is this big and I'm only 3 weeks away from being considered full term. We went to Nantucket this weekend for a little "babymoon" and it was beyond gorgeous. It is the place you imagine when you think of a seaside New England town. We had gorgeous fall weather all weekend, ate a TON of really ridiculously good food, walked around cobblestone streets, visited the Whaling Museum and went in stores that we couldn't possibly buy a thing. We also watched a lot of Breaking Bad on the laptop - we are completely addicted to the series and will watch 3-4 episodes a night if possible. Netflix streaming is the best.

View from our balcony in Nantucket

And below is what I see when I look down these days. My belly feels enormous to me these days and lately the baby has been going bananas and moving like crazy to the point where it actually hurts sometimes. I also think I've been getting more frequent Braxton Hicks contractions where my stomach feels so tight it feels like it could just burst.

And a side view. Yes I took these while I was at work. I needed a break and figured why not be awkward and try to take belly self portraits in my cubicle. Also my shirt is not a maternity shirt and is struggling to cover my lower stomach. I'm awesome and have totally given up.

My best friend had a baby last week (!!!) and it sort of put me in a panic to get ready for our little one. I'm working on a post of the things I'm doing to prepare before baby arrives so hopefully it'll be up this week. :)

Parvez Taj

2011-09-28T14:25:00.000-07:00

I recently purchased our first piece of art for our new house! I bought one of Parvez Taj's reclaimed wood pieces called Kasbah. I got it for a steal on One Kings Lane and now just have to wait a month for it to arrive in the mail.

It was sort of an impulse buy because I've never seen the artists pieces in person but I just got a great feeling from the piece. The colors and the design are beautiful and it has eastern/Moroccan influence to it without being over the top. Of course art is very personal so this is my opinion. He uses a lot of different mediums and even makes these gorgeous light pieces too that are just stunning. I can't really find any great pictures of the light boxes but if you look at his website you will get the idea.

Acrylic boxes that can illuminate if light is placed under them.

Buying a house is great but I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how to decorate. Hopefully this spices up the blank walls in the house.

Trying to balance it all...

2011-09-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

I'm officially in my third trimester! I looked at the countdown on one of my baby iphone apps and it said I have 71 days until this baby is due! 71 days is not a lot of time. Sometimes I feel like this pregnancy has flown by. Then other times I can't remember not being pregnant. I am starting to really get a little anxious about how labor is going to be, motherhood and the realization that I will forever be responsible for another life.

I thought I'd write a post about some pregnancy symptoms/side effects and some of the things that have been on my mind lately.

Carpel Tunnel: It sucks. Apparently is very common for pregnant women to experience this because of the swelling and fluid retention. I started noticing it in the mornings when I woke up and my fingers were tingly. These days I sleep with wrist guards on and have to ask my husband to massage my arms nightly. I have to say its a really annoying feeling to have tingling, burning and aching hands, wrists and even arms.
Swelling: So far my ankles and face have started to swell a little. Some days are worse than others and I find myself wearing more pants to hide my cankles.
Leg cramps: I haven't had too many of these but they are awful and wake me up in the middle of the night confused and in a lot of pain. No great explanation as to why they happen to pregnant women but when they happen, it helps me to flex my feet or get out of bed and stand up right away.
Belly button: I'm losing the battle to stay an "innie" slowly. I'm hoping to make it all the way to 40 without it popping out but it seems to be getting smaller and smaller and ready to pop any day.
Linea negra: Yup its there. All the way up my belly almost to my chest. Lately a dark circle has formed around my belly button and its not cute. I guess women with darker skin are more prone to this.
Hair: Looking pretty good and full. I guess you tend to lose less hair during pregnancy but post pregnancy apparently a lot falls out. My sister in law lost a ridiculous amount of hair in the two months after she had my nieces and nephew.
Back Pain: I swear as soon as I hit my third trimester back pain set in bad again. I had a bout of sciatica early on in pregnancy but it went away during second trimester. I think its back now because the baby is getting bigger and squishing my insides. Yup squishing. I'm super technical and clinical. If I don't get up every hour or so while I'm at work I get a bad backache and my ass hurts. Back pain also contributes to me not being able to sleep.
Hip pain: Since you can't sleep on your back while prego and my usual spread eagle tummy sleeping doesn't work either, I have to sleep on my sides. This is causing my hips to just ache. So now I wake up multiple times a night to pee, or because my fingers have gone numb from carpel tunnel, or to adjust because my hips/back are killing me.

Another annoying thing about pregnancy is that I feel like I need to rely on my husband a lot more. I know it shouldn't annoy me and I feel so grateful that he takes care of me and really has pampered me this entire pregnancy. That being said I'd really like to be able to lift heavy things (or even things of moderate weight), not be so emotional and not need him to rub my arms and/or back every night. He always does and he is the best but sometimes it feels like I have to rely on him too much and I'm just not used to that feeling.

I'm such a whiner and I didn't mean for this post to go on and on but sometimes I think its helpful to hear about the crappy parts of an otherwise great time in life. Yes I still think its just as incredible that I am growing a life inside me and I know this baby is worth all the pain listed above and much more. It doesn't change the fact that pregnancy is difficult. On top of your body changing, your entire life changes and shifts. Whether you like it or not, you become a different person in some ways. For example, I have had to deal with the frustration of being phased out of work. They no longer put me on important projects and I feel completely out of the loop. I know they are just preparing for me going out but it still bothers me to have to compromise in this area. I have always dedicated a lot of myself to work/school and I hate feeling useless and underutilized.

This makes me think about how hard it is going to be to prioritize everything in my life. I've heard from different working mothers that it can be really frustrating to know that you can't do everything well. You might not/probably won't be the best employee at work or the best mother when you have to juggle it all. I mostly worry about missing out on my child's life while I'm at work. If I'll somehow not bond with my little one as much or be there for them when they really need me. Both my parents worked but my mom ran my dad's office growing up (and still does) so the job was definitely flexible. I never felt neglected when both my parents were at work but my SIL is a stay at home mom (for now) and is able to give so much to her children. I know we will work it out to find some balance that works for our family but these are the things that have been weighing on my mind these days.

Readers, any advice for moms to be on finding a life balance, going back to work or any general advice?

New Favorite Cookies

2011-09-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

I found this recipe on pinterest for chocolate chunk pecan cookies this week and could not wait to try making them. Oh my god these cookies are incredible and SO ridiculously easy to make. You will only need one bowl to mix everything (and of course a measuring cup, teaspoon, spoon, spatula and baking sheets) so it makes clean up very easy. They took me 15 minutes to mix up and I only baked them for 10 minutes so in under 30 minutes I made my favorite cookies to date. Lately all the chocolate chip cookie recipes I try and sort of lackluster so as you can tell I'm a little excited. I also do really love pecans so that might be adding to this enthusiasm.

Picture from Bake or Break

I didn't alter the recipe at all - click here for the full recipe. Make sure you toast the pecans to bring out the flavor - it makes a big difference! Bake or Break is definitely going to be my go to place for recipes now.

Token crappy cell phone picture. Mine aren't as pretty as Bake or Break's but they do taste incredible.

Enjoy your weekend! It's feeling like fall here in Boston which is my favorite season in New England so I'm excited to take a few walks and just relax.

Maternity Dresses are Ugly

2011-09-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

I had a really hard time finding a cute maternity dress for my baby shower my Mom and Sister in Law threw me in California. In my opinion maternity dresses in general just aren't that cute or fashionable. Luckily non maternity clothes can usually work because dresses and tops these days are loose and flowy. But of course when you are looking for a dress, you can never find one. I shopped for dresses for weeks and was pretty frustrated overall throughout the process. In the end it came down to three contenders.

Dress That Launched 1000 Ships from Modcloth (in Storm):

This dress is really beautiful and the print is much better in person. Its a non maternity dress, nice quality fabric and could definitely be worn again. But it just didn't look that great on me. I have big hips and this dress floated over them and made me feel even bigger than I actually am. I think part of it too is that my boobs have decided to grow along with the baby bump and they are just monsters these days. Plus the dress was expensive ($150). So back it went to Modcloth.

The Back View Dress from Anthropologie:

This dress is really vibrant and colorful. I loved the back of this dress so much (its all braided). Plus it has these butterfly sleeves which hid my arms that I am so self conscious of. This was a serious contender for me for a while but my mom just didn't like it. I'm not sure that it was all that flattering because I had this baby bump and then on top of it the butterfly sleeves made everything up top look sort of voluminous. I think someone with really skinny legs could rock this dress with a baby bump though. It is expensive at $168.

I also really debated wearing an Isabella Oliver dress but ultimately decided it might be too sexy for a baby shower with family and family friends everywhere. Tight, red, sexy and worn by Angelina Jolie I realized doesn't exactly scream baby shower and motherhood (not that you can't be a sexy Mom).

So, when I finally got this dress from asos I was thrilled.

I loved the color and I thought the fit could be flattering but I wasn't really all that sure about the fabric. It wasn't that expensive ($69 at the time) and with free shipping I figured why not. This dress ended up being the one that my mom and SIL liked the best. I felt really comfortable in it and the fabric is this soft jersey that feels so soft. Here are a few pictures of me and my fellow prego BFF from my baby shower. I'm 26 weeks in the picture and she is 34 weeks.

I guess the only dress that worked turned out to be a maternity dress so the title of my post is a little aggressive. I've been pretty disappointed with maternity clothes shopping aside from the fact that you get to wear elastic waistband pants everywhere. That seriously is a dream come true. I wonder why they don't make more regular stylish clothes with elastic waistbands. Where are your favorite places to shop for prego friendly clothing?

Video that makes me cry

2011-09-12T08:19:00.000-07:00

This google video has been out for a while but it makes me tear up every single time I watch it. I love watching fathers with their children - something about it just makes my heart just feel like its going to explode. Not sure if I'm just getting more emotional with all the hormones.

Can't wait until we meet this little guy or girl so I can grab their gmail name and maybe start doing the same thing.

Pregosaurus Attacks

2011-08-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

I know its been weeks since I've posted. I really want to get better at consistent blogging but I honestly sometimes just feel boring. I feel sometimes like nothing I am writing or thinking of writing is new or original. It probably has already been written before and more eloquently than I can say it. I guess this is my blog though and I can only write about what I know so here we go....

I'm 24 weeks pregnant today! This is a huge milestone for me - one I honestly wasn't sure that I would make back when I was only in my first trimester. At this point in my pregnancy, my baby is medically viable and if anything bad were to happen, they would try and save this little boy or girl. The lines are a little blurred here and some hospitals have saved babies as early as 21/22 weeks but I'm just happy that I've made it to the well known 24 week mark. Don't get me wrong baby - you stay in there and grow (my early first trimester mantra was "grow baby grow")- but this does bring some kind of relief. After having two miscarriages, I can finally recognize that this pregnancy is different. This is one strong little guy or girl and I believe in the baby and my body. So far, the best feeling in the world has been feeling the little one kick. There is nothing quite so reassuring and wonderful as feeling those little kicks, pokes and turns. I'm sure I'll be singing a different song towards the end of pregnancy when the baby is rearranging my insides and its uncomfortable. But for now, I'm blissfully happy when I feel those movements. It makes me feel like we have a little secret together and are already sharing moments together.

So clearly I am pretty damn happy and grateful for this pregnancy. But oh my god my hormones are insane. I am a mercurial monster and honestly frequently feel like I could laugh, cry and scream with rage all at the same time. Tonight for example, I lost my shit on my husband who brought home a not ripe avocado. Seriously just lost it and basically threw a tantrum. It was sort of integral to our dinner but really did not deserve my reaction. Pregnant bitches be crazy. The funny thing is that at the time I totally recognize that I am being insane but I just cannot get a grip. I call myself pregosaurus because of my hormones and because I eat food with gusto these days.

Plus I feel like a fat monster. I know I'm pregnant and I'm supposed to gain weight blah blah. It is just hard to feel attractive these days. Feeling ugly and laziness have stopped me from taking prego pictures. I really wanted to be one of those cute women that takes weekly pictures and has everything documented. I just can't get it together in the morning since I am perpetually late. And at night the last thing I want to do is take a picture of myself. I did it though at 22 weeks on my iphone so one of my fellow prego friends could see what the bump looked like. Excuse the crappy quality - my husband was on call and I'm not good at taking my own picture.

Sorry for the long boring post. I will try my hardest to keep writing and hopefully it won't all be prego related.

Cravings!

2011-06-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

So this isn't really a post so much as a ode to donuts and churros. Holy crap doesn't this look incredible?

Source: thesetingstaketime.com via Michelle on Pinterest

I don't honestly know if its pregnancy cravings or just that I have a crazy sweet tooth but I could eat all of those churros for breakfast. Daily.

And just to make this more of a pregnancy post and not just a picture of churros here is a picture of me at 15 weeks, 6 days. Excuse the horrible picture and the lack of makeup. I didn't take any belly pics weeks 1-12 out of fear that things wouldn't go well. Now I don't take any because I'm lazy and have been feeling pretty large and in charge these days.

More real and substantive posts to come soon.

Been a little busy...

2011-06-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

Growing this little one!

Baby at 12 weeks, 2 days

I am 15 weeks today and feeling pretty great except for being tired and having allergies. I was blessed with no morning sickness and only some slight nausea. I waited for a long time to announce anything first because we were nervous given our previous miscarriages and then because we had to wait to tell all our family and friends.

Aside from baby growing, we recently moved and I've been working like a mad woman so the blog has definitely fallen to the wayside. I haven't even taken any pictures of my already showing little belly bump. Its starting to look a little less like I've eaten too many donuts so I'm happy about that.

I can't wait to start getting back into blogging more and documenting the my pregnancy. :) Hopefully some of you are still reading and will be here for the journey!

and then she dies...

2011-03-28T08:43:00.001-07:00

Two months ago my husband got me hooked on a TV show on FX called Louie which is a show about the comedian Louie C.K.'s life mixed with his standup routines. He is the funniest comedian I have seen in a long time. His comedy is so so so inappropriate and hilarious and there is nothing safe or "pc" about his comedy. So if you are easily offended don't watch it. I've only seen the first season but I can't wait to catch up and watch the second season. We are going to see him in Newport, RI this summer and I'm already overexcited.

Louie CK standup on Cinnabon

So the title of the post comes from one of my favorite scenes when Louie is talking to his therapist about sex:

THERAPIST: Sex isn't complicated, it's simple. A man gets aroused. He puts his penis inside a woman's vagina. He ejaculates. And then she dies.

LOUIS: What?? And then she dies?

THERAPIST: No. I was thinking of something else.

The scene made me laugh cry hard. I know random post but I needed some cheer this Monday morning. Have a great week!

Definitely on the Right

2011-03-10T06:08:00.000-08:00

Image via Elements of Style Blog

One of my favorite blogs Elements of Style featured the most beautiful Mercedes ad and I couldn't resist re-posting some of the images. I am definitely a right brained girl and love creativity, feeling and art in any shape or form. I feel everything and agonize over everything. I am not practical, in control, or analytical so I don't know how I got into a job that forces me to be more left brained. I think in some ways the need to be more left brained has balanced my free spirited wishy washy ways and pushes me to see and understand different perspectives. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't be more successful and happy if I embraced my natural tendencies.

Visit Erin Gates' original post to see the left brained description. Which one are you? Does your career/life compliment your brain tendencies?

Advice on our New Ride

2011-03-08T07:44:00.000-08:00

So as I mentioned yesterday, we are going to buy a new car between now and May (when we get to move in to our new house!). I grew up with Toyota brand cars but my husband is a Honda person. Right now we have an old Honda Civic that has been good to us and after driving our current car for the past 3 years, I agree that Honda brand cars are solid and reliable. I would also maybe lean towards Honda given the recalls with Toyota as of late. Or should we venture out more from Honda and Toyota? I drive a crap ton of rental cars and have noticed that Hyundai's are really nice cars and a decent amount cheaper.

Our criteria right now is a small SUV that is good on miles like the Honda CRV or Toyota Rav4. Wifeylifey has me seriously considering the Rav4 but I guess consumer reports rates the Honda CRV much higher than any other small SUV.

Honda CRV (image source)

2011 Toyota Rav4 (image source)

Hyundai Tucson (image source)

Hyundai Santa Fe (image source)

So I'd love some car advice. Any brands and models you would suggest? Any car features you think are necessary? I really want in car navigation but husband thinks its a total waste of money....

Where did February go?

2011-03-07T07:06:00.000-08:00

First things first, I suck at keeping up with my blog. Lots has happened in the past month though....

House
We found a house, made an offer and it was accepted!!! Yay. After a few hurdles, we have officially signed a purchase and sale and are on our way to being the owners of an actual home! It will be kind of a shock to have no one living above or below us, more than one bathroom, a garage and for the first time in 10 years not be living in the middle of a big city. Granted, we are only 7 miles from Boston but with the traffic and roads here, that's about a 20 minute drive. Our official move to suburbia won't really change that much because to be honest I drive everywhere and rarely take the train downtown. My husband however can't walk to work anymore which means we have to buy a new car too. This is the most money I've ever spent in my entire life and the first time I will be owning a car (I never needed on in Boston or NYC and the one I drive now is officially my husbands) and property (current condo was my husbands before we got married).

Baby
So now that we've got a 4 bedroom house, its time to fill it with a baby or two. The trying to conceive game continues and I was loving Carly's post on the dreaded two week wait. The husband is in DC for the month so who knows how long this annoying little dance will be. I'm not going to lie, its been tough watching everyone around me get preggers in no time at all. The jealous, frustrated and angry part of me came out for a while and was just bitter about everything. I am getting over it though and realize that things happen for people at different times. You can't rush something as good as a baby and when we do have a baby it'll be extra special for us. Plus I still get to do things like indulge in wine, drink coffee, eat sushi and have some turkey sandwiches while I am at it. I know I'd give up all those things in a heartbeat for a baby but I am trying to stay positive after some very comforting advice from Shortie. Although Our Little Haus is no longer, Shortie recently started a new blog about trying to conceive, how to get pregnant and pregnancy after loss that is already one of my favorite blogs to read.

House, baby and work have been taking over life. Oh and the travel for work is getting OLD. I spent a week in San Diego last month which I know is annoying to complain about. But don't worry, it was rapidly followed up by a week long trip to rural Minnesota. Yup Minnesota in February is just no bueno. Can't switch jobs until we move to the new house though so to try and keep myself more calm and take charge of my health (the scale at the doctors office was a slap in the face!), I took a hot yoga class with my friends last night. It was hot and sweaty but very relaxing. Hey, if my friend's husband can do it and be all flexible then so can I.

Anyway, that's whats been going on with me lately. I've gotta think of a new name for a blog soon and I think make the transition over to wordpress. Any suggestions of names would be great since I don't think I want to start a blog called Life on (new street name).

First There's Sour, Then There's Sweet

2011-02-04T14:19:00.000-08:00

I'd rather just take the sweet I've decided. Its been a crazy week of highs and lows and though I can't get into the details just yet I had a great reminder this week of the things that are actually important in life. Family, friends, and love.

I keep seeing these sour patch kids commercials (hence the title of this post) and this one is my favorite so far .Enjoy and hope you all have great weekends!

Weird Dreams and Random Thoughts

2011-01-27T07:16:00.001-08:00

I'm all in a funk today because I had some weirdo dreams last night. I think most women who are TTC (trying to conceive) feel that the two weeks of wait for your period are agonizing. I start to freak out and think every little thing I feel could be a pregnancy symptom. Clearly pregnancyis on the brain (among other things) because last night I had a dream that I was pregnant and also that Anthony Bourdain and some woman were pregnant too. Oh and we were all hanging out at one of my nieces birthday parties. I think its because I was watching an episode of No Reservations where he goes to Syria that was particularly weird. Either way I need to get a life and get distracted fast because I'm driving myself bananas.

Image

On another note - did you see Clemence Poesy in Marie Claire? Its featured on Who What Wear's Blog and I love the styling and her hair is incredible.

Above three images via Who What Wear

Also, I wish I could make a fishtail braid like Minka Kelly and actually rock it without feeling like I was back in 5th grade. What? Didn't your mom do a fishtail braid that went all the way across your head too? Awesome.

Image via people.com

Women, Leadership and Success

2011-01-25T08:23:00.000-08:00

I just found this video (see below) of Facebook's Chief Operating Office, Sheryl Sandburg, giving a talk on why we have too few women leaders. The statistics she provides on women in leadership positions is disappointing. As a woman in a challenging business environment who is also thinking about having kids soon, this video really hit home and made me feel inspired.

The key thoughts of her speech are:

1. Sit at the Table - She makes the point that women often underestimate themselves, attribute their success to outside factors and aren't as confident and self assured as men. She provides examples such as 57% of men negotiate their first salary out of college, while only 7% of women do the same. I know that I didn't negotiate my salary much with my first job and didn't at all with my second job. After discussions with my male coworkers (I happen to work with mostly men), they all said they really negotiated and weren't afraid to be rejected. A potentially costly lesson learned for myself. She also talks about how women who are driven can often be viewed in a negative light when compared to male counterparts. She references an Harvard Business School case study on a successful venture capitalist who happened be a woman (Heide Roizen) and how when the name was changed from Heide to Howard, the students at HBS perceived the success very differently. While I don't think that women are always perceived in a negative light when they push to be successful and are competitive, I do think it happens fairly often. It may be subconscious on some level, but I've been in many situations over the years where I've seen this type of behavior. Where men and women behave in similar manners and the woman's actions and speech are considered "bitchy" and "pushy" while men are considered "authoritative" and "no nonsense". I put those in quotes because my coworker once actually said those things after a meeting and he's generally a very open and intelligent person. I don't think this is just the male perception either, I think women feel that way towards other women a lot of times.

2. Make Your Partner a Partner - Sandberg speaks of the common theme of women taking on "twice the amount of housework", and "three times the amount of childcare" compared to the man. She doesn't simplify the cause and doesn't deep dive into it but does talk about how as a society we put more pressure on boys to succeed than our girls. Also when men do decide to work from home, Mom's often don't know how to interact with them and tend to shun them. She encourages us to "make it as important a job to work inside the home for both genders if we are going to even things out and have women stay in workforce". I couldn't agree more with that sentiment. We don't even have kids now and I tend to feel pressure (self imposed) to do more of the household duties, to "take care" of my husband and the people around me and to keep a beautiful home. To clarify my husband helps out a lot around the house and I actually came home from work yesterday to find him cooking me a homemade Indian dinner AND he even did the dishes (we usually rotate - if you cook, the other cleans up)! Its honestly all in my head and I have to say that I do take pride and put pressure on myself to be a great cook and to maintain a clean and stylish home. Plus if stress relief weren't enough, Sandberg mentions that people with equal responsibilities and equal earning tend to have half the divorce rate and a better sex life.

3. Don't Leave Before You Leave - This final point emphasizes that women often tend to "lean back" and stop looking for a promotion and ways to get ahead when they think about/have a child. They start to wonder how they can fit taking care of a child into everything else they are doing and so they stop trying to get ahead in their career. I can honestly say that I have thought about that a lot lately. How could I possibly continue with my career when I travel so frequently and work such long hours? How can I scale back instead of how can I get ahead. Sandberg points out that the problem with this is that when you do have children, your job should be rewarding, challenging and make a difference. Otherwise you are less likely to come back or want to leave your kid(s) at home. Essentially the message is to just keep swimming or keep your foot on the gas pedal.

Watch the video below - I promise the 15 minutes is well worth your time...

Life on...

2011-01-24T08:31:00.000-08:00

Lots of things have been happening and I just totally dropped the ball on reverb. No surprise there I guess. As soon as I told my friend, N, that I was gonna do it she couldn't stop laughing. She pointed out that I was traveling to Minnesota for work, coming back and leaving for Hawaii with 19 other family members for a week, then had friends visiting for new years and more friends staying for another week. Not to mention I was already behind a week. New goal - set realistic goals! Haha.

Also a huge thank you to all my readers who left such sweet comments about my last post. It felt strange putting so many personal things out there and all those comments made me feel so loved.

So the long absence was partly due to all the madness I mentioned up there. Hawaii was incredible and the first time my entire family (parents and all 3 brothers) have taken a trip together in about 15 years! New years was perfect and low key. We had our close friends from college over and just hung out, drank and played Spot It. Spot it is the BEST card game ever. It seems really simple and kinda silly but its so much fun to play (especially when drinking). I highly recommend picking it up. Also I made this ridiculous cake and it turned out perfectly! I skipped the raspberry filling and used extra chocolate ganache and topped with fresh raspberries instead.

The rest of January has been consumed with house hunting and after seeing 30-40ish pretty underwhelming houses we were excited to stumble a house we genuinely love. We are thinking about making an offer tonight, its a bit lower than the asking price but we don't think its unreasonable. Hopefully this blog won't be named Life on Minden at some point in the near future. Finding a place also means we need to get on the ball for selling our condo so we spent some of the weekend cleaning up and fixing up little things in our condo. I can't believe how much junk and how many clothes I've bought in the past 3.5 years. I gave away 2 garbage bags of clothes this weekend and a couple items still had tags on them. It made me feel so bad and wasteful! It was also pretty sad to see my itty bitty grad school jeans - I didn't even try to put them on.

I'm hoping for new home, new job and new baby this year! Hopefully 2011 delivers. I figure putting out all your wishes and thinking about them positively is the way to go...at least for now.

Less boring posts to come soon. Thanks again for all the love last month and sorry for my absence.

I'm alive and reverbing (late as always)

2010-12-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

I have completely let this blog die in the past two months. I have no real excuses, just that I got busy with the usual work and travel cycle. Also just lazy. I haven't even sent poor Katie her giveaway that she won in September (!). I suck. But I have both mascaras with me right now while I'm traveling to Ohio (I've had it for almost 2 months now actually) and I promise to send it before I fly back home to Boston on Friday.

So its almost 2011 and I keep seeing people joining the Reverb challenge. The reverb challenge is an online, annual initiative that has you "reflect on your year, manifest what's next...and to send out reverberations for the year ahead." It seems like a good way to get back into blogging and to be a little more thoughtful about life and 2010. So basically there are 31 prompts (each day in December) that I will be writing about. I've got 8 days to catch up so here we go...

December 1 - One Word: Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 = Confused. That seems like a sad word to encapsulate an entire year. I guess in some ways it is but it’s the truth. I’ve been confused about life in general this year and reached an “I’m almost 30”(!) crisis. The big parts in my life I really started to question/wonder about – Marriage/Kids and work.

Marriage is tough and full of compromise. I’ve been married for 2 years now (small beans in the grand scheme of things) and I haven’t been the best spouse. I’ve been selfish, withdrawn and absent at times. Part of this is to blame on my job and it taking me away for a week to two weeks a month. This kind of travel is just not conducive to a healthy, normal life to share with someone. On top of it, I come home exhausted and not really wanting to deal with unpacking, a mountain of laundry, chores and responsibilities. Not to mention making a real, honest and open connection with your husband. On top of that, I can be somewhat withdrawn and in my own head. Although I’m very extroverted, I can be less chatty when it comes to the people I’m really close to. I don’t know if that makes any sense but when I feel like I don’t need to try to open up, I just don’t. I am in my own head a lot and that comes off as secretive and closed. Those two words are not something I want to include as part of my marriage any longer.

We decided to start trying to have kids this year. I wasn’t quite ready but went off birth control in January of 2010, got pregnant right away in February and had a miscarriage by April. I went from not being sure I was ready to have kids, to being pregnant and scared, to being pregnant and excited and to finally being crushed and feeling like less of a woman. I wasn’t ready to share this with many people, much less on my blog (not that there are all that many readers out there). There is enough distance between the miscarriage and now for me to be able to write about it. It was the worst thing I’ve had to grapple with because in some ways I already felt like a mother. It took months for us to get over it and so we didn't start trying again until September/October of this year. It’s been not fruitful thus far which has been incredible disappointing. Its so funny how I spent my life from 2000-early 2010 praying that I didn’t get pregnant. Now I spent the two weeks before my period is supposed to come, absolutely agonizing over how my body feels and willing a baby to be growing inside of me. At least now I feel more ready than ever to have kids which is something I definitely couldn’t have said even a few months ago. I have major baby fever now and hope that we’ll be blessed enough to have kids of our own in 2011.

Work. Reference the travel above in the marriage paragraph. It’s difficult and no longer rewarding (unless you count some sweet airline miles and hotel points). It’s confusing in some ways because my pay is great, I just got promoted and when I interact with clients I am actually very satisfied. But it’s the lifestyle and some of the mindless work that necessitates a shift. Especially given that we want kids and I can’t imagine having a job that would have me traveling while I have young children. When it comes down to asking the question - what is your dream job? – there are crickets in my own head. Seriously I cannot nail down my ideal job description for the life of me. I know I’m not some anomaly and that plenty of people don’t figure out what they want to be when they grow up until they are much older. I do know that I want a job that has heavy interaction with people, no travel/local to Boston and in healthcare. More broadly, I need something that is consistently challenging and pushes me to deeper intellectual and professional pursuits.

2011 = Change. Now that I’ve spent all that time griping, it’s time to make some serious changes in the coming year. I know New Years is all about cliché resolutions about change but I’m going to go ahead and join the masses but hold myself to it. I need to change the way I approach my marriage so I am more open and actively adding and participating in a relationship with my incredible husband. As far as kids, I can’t place that squarely in my lap as something I can change, but I want to try to get myself ready for a kid which means spending less on myself and taking better care of my body. And finally, change jobs and find something that keeps me local, challenged and satisfied.
I'm working on the next 7 reverbs. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking with me. It truly makes me feel lucky to have people who might actually care about what I am thinking, feeling and accomplishing.

Giveaway winner and my color obsession

2010-09-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

Congrats to Katie over at R&T for being my mascara giveaway winner! I'll email you to get your details :)

Also, just stumbled upon this picture and realized how much I'm in love with deep purple. It was one of my main wedding colors and I think the color is so flattering on most skin tones. I would absolutely love to have this sari for two of my newly engaged friend's weddings next year. Oh I'll take her body too.

Sorry for the lame post - work is crazy this week and next week and I think all my creative energy is just gone for now.

Giveaway! Bat those eyelashes...

2010-09-14T07:07:00.000-07:00

I finally got to my 100th post and I'm doing my very first giveaway/present for one lucky reader! From the votes (thanks Katie and Serena!) I'll be giving away Dior Show Mascara. I also will send along my favorite mascara to date - Maybelline Define-A-Lash Lengthening Mascara because its fantastic and in my opinion actually better than Dior Show.

To enter please make a comment below with your favorite makeup/beauty product by September 24th.

For an extra entry - tweet about it (and let me know that you did in your comment).

Thanks to all of you who read my blog - I really love all my e-friends!

Harvest Moon

2010-08-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who wished us a happy anniversary yesterday. I wanted to share what I got for my husband for our anniversary. Since the second anniversary gift is traditionally cotton I got this idea to make something on canvas. I used to paint and draw a lot so my initial idea was to paint something to hang over our bed since our walls in our bedroom have absolutely nothing on them. Then I heard our first dance song on one of my playlists and it reminded me of how special and magical our first dance felt dancing under the stars and surrounded by family and friends.

So I contacted the incredible Kelly of Blush !nk (she did my blog design as well and is uber talented) to design a poster with the lyrics to our first dance song. She dealt with my many annoying changes and was able to get this back to me so fast! It was especially impressive since she is a brand new mommy and has an adorable baby. Here's what she came up with and I absolutely love it!

Design by Kelly @ Blush !nk. Sorry for the kinda crappy image - couldn't figure out how to get it to be not so high resolution :)

The actual print hasn't arrived yet from the company I ordered from but I'll post a picture when it does. In addition to this I got him a ton of new boxers and undershirts. I know random but he was in desperate need, he loves practical gifts and it was cotton. :)

I can't recommend Kelly enough for all your design needs. Oh and her blog is one of my favorites so make sure you head over there too...

Two years ago...

2010-08-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

I married my best friend. Right now its about noon on the west coast and I bet Saddlerock Ranch and the mountains of Malibu are looking just as beautiful (and hot) as they did that day. I can still remember the rush of emotions and how anxious I was about everything. I was overwhelmed with the love and chaos of being surrounded by my closest family and friends. But then I walked down the aisle (the very very long aisle) with my parents on either side, and it all washed away when I saw you beaming at me. Well maybe not all of it washed away, but it certainly diminished. I stopped worrying about the flowers, the heat, our guests and remembered that this day was you and me joining together.

Its been almost 10 years since I've known you. 10 years of us building friendship, love and a life together. We've grown up together and so many of my life defining moments have and will occur with you by my side.

This year has certainly been for better and for worse. We've had many moments of sheer joy, happiness, contentment and that incredible comfortable feeling of knowing that your spouse is now your family. No matter what, they stick by you and there is something so gratifying and safe about that feeling that I would never trade for the butterflies in my stomach I had when I first met you. We've also lost so significantly in this year, have had many to the brink moments where I thought we may never return to normal. But we always do.

I can't thank you enough for being so supportive of me. For pushing me to be a better person and for challenging me to do better every day. You always pick me up and trust me I know there are many of those days when I come home from work cranky, change right into a giant t-shirt and sweats, plop on the couch and pick a fight. Even if I can't be cheered up, you know when to leave me alone and let me do my thing. There are so many days that I take you for granted and so today when I stop to really think about you and us, my heart really fills up with love, my eyes fill with tears and I feel as though I am going to explode.

Especially when we can go from this...

To this (wha wha! haha)...

I am so content to spend the rest of my life with you. You are my lobster and I will always love you.

P.S. - You still do give me butterflies...

I am a Shopping Addict

2010-08-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

I have a shopping obsession. No matter how many shoes and clothes I have, I am never satisfied.

I go through this cycle of wanting, buying, feeling immediate guilt, using my new stuff and feeling happy and then repeat. I forget that I felt guilty and that I *just* bought a bunch of stuff and instantly want more. I'm such a consumer whore. For example, we went to Paris in June and we spent a ton of money on travel, food and shopping. Before we went, I went crazy shopping to prepare for Paris. I swore to my husband that I wouldn't buy anything for two months and eventually caved in a month later and broke my promise.

I think I learned this constant shopping habit from my Mom who is the ultimate shopper. She will travel to remote places with my Dad and still manage to take him on a 12 hour shopping trip in a remote village. I can't blame her though and regardless I need to get myself under control. I get especially tempted in the blogging world where all the fashion bloggers are showing off their new wardrobes, putting up links and being annoyingly cute in their 4" platforms and miniskirts that would never be work appropriate for me.

Any suggestions on how to kick the shopping habit? I'm debating deleting all my shopping (gilt, hautelook, ruelala) emails, not visiting fashion blogs and leaving my credit cards at home when I shop.

I know this is a random post. I'm swamped at work but then I remembered that I promised a giveaway and I'm only 2 posts from 100. So close! So I will be posting more this week I promise.