Life On My Knees, Death On My Feet

Legitimate Dissolution

2015-02-01T18:43:00.001-05:00

I got into an argument on the Internet.

*silence*

Big surprise right?

I wasn't meaning to, in fact I wasn't planning on getting into a lengthy discussion about 'religion' with anyone when I posted a comment on a National news forum. I know putting oneself out there runs a risk for public ridicule, but sometimes the truth if not spoken leaks out of me in other ways and would in fact keep me up at night if I didn't share what I know Scripture says to be true.

I covet sleep.

I also can't ignore a direct challenge. <----- (see that pride?)

An outspoken atheist wrote they wished people would just lose religion altogether and according to them if this happened, the world would be a better place. The atheist went on to say that if more people believed in *fact* more than a supernatural 'experience' peace could be realized globally. I half agreed with the sentiment, but I had to explain my observation of that stance with a simple description.

This is what I said:

"You know your heart is a part of you, beating, doing it's job. You know if it stops doing it's job, you will die. You can't see your heart, but you can feel it, and it's a part of who you are."

I went on to explain that the Christian faith is a relationship with Our Creator that becomes a part of us, that born again believers can't help but feel The Holy Spirit and welcome His mighty work in order to function as Christ followers on a daily basis. We are unable to turn it off. We can no more deny Jesus than deny our beating heart. Knowledge of this brings peace.

The response I received was actually pretty cute:

"I can use an x-ray to see my heart, so YOUR point is invalid."

Chuckling, I wrote back, "Great analogy! Let's use that and take it further. An x-ray is an amazing tool used to see your heart. However, it doesn't show you your actual heart, but an image of your heart. You trust the machine is revealing what you believe to exist in your chest."

I went deeper.

"In the same way you trust an x-ray machine, born again believers trust Scripture. The written Word of God reveals Christ Jesus on every page, every story, every verse. Every. Single. Word. Jesus is as real to us as seeing an image of our heart beating on a screen or still in a picture. We are incapable of ignoring God, even if we tried to!"

That ended the argument publicly, privately I was pm'd a bit more. You know, the usual insults and derogatory accusations, but I gave short responses and Bible verses because at the end of the day, God's Word is so much more powerful than I.

Do I blame this atheist for what they hold so dear as their faith?

No.

Not one bit.

If not for the grace of God, I too would believe (Or disbelieve) the same things. Natural man is incapable of recognizing the Supernatural Nature of Our Heavenly Father. This isn't meant as an insult, it proves thousand year old prophetic writings; only God can open the eyes of the blind, the ears of the deaf, the mouth of the mute, and replace the stone heart of the dead.

Recently I received an inquiry as to the spiritual status of my own children. I really didn't know how to respond appropriately, for I didn't want the conversation to veer off course, as these types of conversations have a bad habit of doing when my mouth is involved.

Thankfully, I know deep in my soul that my parental responsibility is to teach my children from Scripture, to model the call that The Lord designed for me, solely trusting Him and His lead all the while. The last thing I want to do in this life of mine is pressure my children into 'accepting' Christ. They are always eager to please Mommy and if I queried, they would 'ask Jesus into their heart' in order to make me happy. If it turned out to be a false relationship as they move on into adulthood my heart would break!

We make disciples.

God converts.

There are too many fake 'believers' out there, people who talk about Jesus as if he's a free ticket to Paradise, but their lives reflect who is actually on the throne of their heart and it's clearly not He who has died, rose again and is sitting at the Right Hand of The Father as I type this. The world has seen too many instances of 'Christians' who have fallen away, who reject the very man they claim to know by their chosen lifestyle. I want to be intentional about my approach when discussing salvation with my kids. I desperately want them to know accepting Jesus is not an easy road, that reward awaits eternally yes but much pain awaits on this earth, especially the part of dying to oneself. My desire is to give the enemy less ammo to drag our Saviour's name through the mud by way of my five offspring and in turn, their choices. I am praying that true repentance, forgiveness and a view of God's Grace remains the theme in their minds as we grow.

Honestly, I would rather my children say they are atheists than declare Jesus is Lord of their lives but produce no fruit of that claim. That, to me, would be exponentially more painful as a Believing Mother. Call me callous or whatever, it's not that I wish for my children go to Hell, it's that I know I personally deserve to be there! I owe everything, my very breath and beating heart to the Lord Jesus Christ, and I refuse to diminish His ministry even to satisfy my own natural fear as a Mom.

I know for a fact God is LOVE. I know God is GOOD always. I know He is THE just God, with wisdom incomprehensible. I know the cross event has erased all of the sins of His people. I know that I cannot save my children, but they WILL be taught truth while they are in my care. Love will be our banner, mercy our path. No one can convince me otherwise.

Faith is what drives me.

The Spirit sustains me.

Hope is why I carry on.

Moxie Vestige

2015-01-02T18:59:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

It is:

Can you believe that?

As I reflect on the past year I can't help but think of the wonderful gift and freedom which comes from knowing Jesus Christ. I recall being convicted of 'Just Being' me, and that has carried me through changes in my life since I wrote that post, relying on my Saviour and His Grace and Power and Wisdom alone. It's been a challenging battle to say the least, but victory has been achieved at the cross!

What hope we have, dear Christan. <3

Our family sat around the table on New Years Eve discussing our yays and nays about the past year and predictions for 2015. The biggest impact on me as a Mother was that each child expressed a desire to do something fun as a family. A few were thinking of individual goals but ultimately, my kids enjoy each others company. That IS a huge blessing. I think it is the harvest of being at home together, with parents who decline involvement in our kids wars with one another. We are eager to encourage them to 'figure things out' removing ourselves from the conflict because neither of us signed up to be referees!! Equipping our children to come to terms with one another and work through the bullshit has been worth every second of our 'non effort'. I know this will only be a short term solution, because as Spouse and I learn and grow as followers of Christ and our parenting reflects this, in turn our children will grow and need less parenting and more Jesus!
I do pray each of them comes to know Our Saviour personally and that they always tend to their sibling relationships. I also know that in an instant things can change and people can grow apart and those who once played, laughed, loved, learned and lived together, end up enemies. To tear families apart is Satan's will, but even that falls under GOD'S Sovereignty.

As a Mother, it does fill my heart with gratitude to picture my family now, as it is today. My oldest will be perusing more independence as he will get his drivers permit this year. (It's a few months off, but as 2014 and prior has proven, it flies by.) Our second oldest is continuing on with his theatrical education, piano and voice lessons and as his wings spread, we will do our best to fan a strong wind for him.

I ambitiously decided we're learning Spanish this year, and even though I have a full time job, a part time job and a stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom job, I think as long as I wait upon the Lord, He will make our path straight in His time. This knowledge is a result of Christ's imputed wisdom.

Wisdom.

It is a sweet companion when sourced from our Creator. Otherwise I believe wisdom can become stale and artificial, always tainted by our sin because no one but Christ is sinless, no matter the book, Scripture excepted.

It is easy for me to dismiss a famous author/person as it is to sneeze, I place no man in an authority position meant only for Jesus Christ. That being said, I struggle with submission unto my husband as the head of my home, and we are slowly learning what that truly means as a couple, individually and together. My husband endeavors to lead, us to follow, and so for the two of us, simple prayer with reliance on The Lord has helped and supported us to endure whatever may pass and grow stronger in our faith and our commitment to this marriage even more.

There is no such thing as a perfect life.

If you think I have it all, then I apologize because it is never my intent to make you think my life is full of roses and sunshine and bbq's and happiness. There are bits and pieces, glimpses of these things we refer to as 'joy' mixed in no doubt, but to be honest the natural part of me still reels back and would flee in an instant if it weren't for the chains of the cross binding me to this life God called me to live. Wisdom has brought me to this knowledge, along with grace and mercy from The Father.

Wisdom is that soft whisper through the loudest of activities, and the boldest when we take the time to sit in the quiet lost in deep thought and The Word. True God-breathed wisdom is attainable and abundant, like an overflowing river always at hand. It's the healing salve of wounded hearts and minds. It brings grey hair. (Or so I'm told.)

We wrestled with the idea of putting our children in school now that I am running my own business from home plus helping run my Husband's. It was getting very difficult for me as the demand of my time increased ten fold in a few short months. I was concerned that my children would 'feel' neglected to a certain degree, because now they had to share me. With my husband's help I have realized that no matter what I am doing, this is what God has designed perfectly for me, my Spouse and my family, and as soon as I lose sight of His awesome power, that is when I falter and worry and fear seeps in.
My husband is pleased with the kids progress educationally bless his kind heart, and yes they aren't high achievers in an academic sense, but they have incredible gifts and talents in other areas that a public setting could not cultivate. We will continue to struggle with this, but I will continue to follow my husband's lead, however weak an attempt.

So this year, I will try my hardest to do whatever I am called to, and take it day by day, knowing that things change but it is always good and was indeed planned by our great and Wonderful God before the foundations of the earth.

All Play and No Work.

2014-08-08T13:55:00.000-04:00

I recently read somewhere the comment "If it makes you happy it can't be wrong!" The statement itself seems pretty harmless. Who doesn't want to be happy? Happiness is the epitome of life is it not? We are taught even God HIMSELF wants us to be happy.

But, have we got that backwards?

On whose authority are we basing this on?

What does Scripture really say about our personal happiness? Are we to pursue it?

I'm having many health issues again, similar to after I had my last child with 15 month old twins still needing me fully, (tandem nursing 3 was zero fun, trust me). My breasts still fill with milk when I hear a newborn bleat even though I have not nourished a child from them in 4 years, painfully so.
My health has occupied much of my life, because it affects my living so deeply. If Momma is sick, nothing gets done. Sad but true. Anyone who knows me personally can understand my need for organized living. Everything must have a place, and in that place it must return after use. No one in my family is the same. In fact, many of my children just don't SEE the filth they create. Even my oldest, who tends to be the neatest individual of my spawn so far needs to be reminded 'edges are important'. Cleanliness makes me happy. Rooms that look like they could be photographed for a magazine make me happy. Realistically, a home with a family of seven, majority of whom are under 10, plus two currently shedding dogs, clean is tragically short lived. Especially when every single meal and snack must be made completely from scratch, and the outside amasses itself onto clothing every single day.

Why am I obsessed with this neat appearance?

Why do I pursue my own happiness?

I can justify my crazy control freak OCD from the idea that I am teaching my children to respect things and be good stewards of what has been given them/us by God. Yeah, that is true. However, my approach to achieving this is usually anger when they aren't doing the job I've given them (especially in the toy room) and are instead playing quietly amongst the chaos. Anger does not come from righteousness.
As a child I would choose places that were clear of clutter in order to play. Coming from a larger family that fully lived hard in a small space, untidiness was a given. I usually played on top of furniture or on my bed on my side of the room, sometimes even in closets. My mind cannot wrap itself around these kids who can ignore their surroundings.

I want things done now, my way because it's right, yesterday if possible!!

I forget that life IS mess.

Because I no longer have energy to keep up with my regular routine, I get stressed, and my stress worsens my health, and so on. It is a vicious cycle. I want to get healthy and back to my normal self, I seem to be my worst enemy though. Recently I've lashed out at my husband, and it is only by God's perfect Grace that he forgives me.

Last week, I had an epiphany.

In my striving for excellence in domestic duties, I have put less energy into what matters the most.

People.

People matter.

Let that sink in.

I am the first to admit that I am motivated by tasks. I like to DO. God in His wisdom created me this way. I draw my worth from my performance when I'm not drawing it from Jesus, but I have focused more on the wrong things and by slowing me down, The Lord has again gently reminded me to stop. He does this often, but like a spoiled rotten brat I naturally move toward my own way of thinking and doing because that is what I think makes me happy.

Father God, help me to:

Stop striving for self.

Stop striving for perfection.

Remind me that:

Perfection exists only in the Person and Work of Jesus Christ.

Thank you Father for directing my sight to your Word and your Truth.

Will I stop being a neat freak? No. I will always need to live in a orderly home, and I will always enjoy the task of organizing. With help from my King I guess I could live in a home that looks like there are people around enjoying their stay here as I enjoy them. These people are only in my care for a little while longer.

So there is hope.

“Go forth today, by the help of God’s Spirit, vowing and declaring that in life—-come poverty, come wealth, in death—come pain or come what may, you are and ever must be the Lord’s. For this is written on your heart, ‘We love Him because He first loved us.’” ~ Charles H. Spurgeon

Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

Psalm 68:3
But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.

Like A (Security) Blanket

2014-05-27T20:38:00.002-04:00

I was excited to be able to sit down at my computer today in anticipation, knowing I'd be visiting my blog, getting some of these thoughts out that have been banging around in my abnormally tiny skull the last few months. (Although, this type of musing is happening less frequently, I think my mind really does get affected by my health, or by life in general in all it's crazy.)

On that note, it's already almost June 2014, and I am amazed at the continued grace The Lord pours forth abundantly!!

My Husband continues to lead our family, and I continue to try to let him without some sort of crack. I've realized that much of our marital problems emerge when I open my mouth before thinking. (duh right?) My personality will never change, but by The Power of The Holy Spirit my strengths could be used for building up, instead of the opposite. As an A type control freak, I've really been focusing on letting go and letting God. I need not be concerned with the future, I need only be concerned with the tasks I face TODAY.

I was reflecting on the meaning of happiness, and happened upon a fun poll online which asked, "Are Single People Happier Or Are Married People Happier?" The obvious answer came from people, but I had a different perspective altogether.

In my case, my relationship status had no influence on whether I was happy or not. In my life, I've always known about Jesus, and once actually KNOWing him personally, he is the only source of happiness that is truly fulfilling and all I have ever needed. I am thankful for the childhood which pointed me to Christ, and even more so I am grateful that he chose me and made me His. I hope my children learn this. I hope they don't seek after success according to this world. I hope each of them serve The Lord fully and completely, but I also understand that God in His Sovereign grace has already ordained their lives, and HE will be glorified and justice will be done. I know I repeat myself, but it's just so amazing to comprehend this eternal truth, and I am sustained in it, immersed deeply.

My husband thanked me today.

This is actually big news because he's not big on encouraging words, which I lap up like a starving hog. He had a business decision, and in the past I have been quick to give an opinion, but was understood by my spouse more like barking orders, yappy actually, which did damage to our unity. My husband is rich in forgiveness, so when he asked me another life changing question recently I asked him to allow me to have time to think and pray, because I didn't want to fall into the same pattern as times before. This was completely against my character of course. I do know what I know well, and I'm usually eager to share it. (Nothing wrong with being confident right?) But my precious Saviour spoke to my heart.

"Wait."

Wait on His wisdom.

Rest in His love.

Cling to His feet.

Sleep under His wings.

Submitting to the headship of my husband and my King brought so much comfort to me! I kind of kicked myself it took this long for me to realize it! Ever try to kick your own bum? Attractive. No, not really.

As it turned out, after I sought the Lord, then shared with my husband my thoughts, I didn't feel like I was undermining his leadership, or casting his dreams aside. And neither did he. He weighed my words with what He himself has been praying about, and his path became crystal clear to him.

'You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.’ - Acts 2:28

'Our heart shall rejoice in him, because we have trusted in his holy name.' - Psalm 32:21

'These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world.' - John 16:33

I am in awe of God.

To Be Vexed

2013-10-30T16:28:00.001-04:00

Hello my lovely people! I've had an amazing summer, how about you?

It seems every time I have a chance to sit down and type my thoughts out the words I want to say change shape and the message I wanted to get across when I opened my browser isn't at all what I thought I should be talking about, but instead becomes this. :)

It still comes together though.

We moved. AGAIN!

Which is cool.

Because it is.

We stayed in the City, just moved right into the middle of it. It's Uber-Urban awesome.

We now live in a larger home with more square footage. >>>I have my own bathroom!<<<
This came about unexpectedly and was definitely God's perfect timing. He provided all our needs including help from people who have busy lives of their own. The only downfall of this home was tripling our expenses. (Sort of, I'm not a math person but I'm also pretty sure our outgoing increased greatly by a lot.) This financial increase was fine, as we had enough of a cushion to draw from if we did have a breakdown of vehicle or medical emergency or if our kids ate even MORE. *sigh*

Swiftly did we learn that hoping and trusting in money is never the right thing to do! I must mention that we didn't even realize we WERE in fact giving money a throne in our heart, but our Heavenly Father knows us best.

God saw that our security was removed quite suddenly, in fact out income is now 1/4 of what it was, and now we rely solely on Him to provide, in fact my husband and I are both extremely excited to see where the money to pay bills and buy food and rent will come from. This is nothing new, I rejoice that I'm not even worried one bit! This is not of my own will and strength but of Him who works His power through Christ Jesus by The Holy Spirit!

I love it!

I shouldn't say my care meter is broken, but rather I really don't have time to get caught up in the 'bad things' of life. When I hear of another struggling, or even come across my own, I decide quickly if it's worth prayer, worth deeper thought and reflection with prayer, or should it be tossed aside and left behind as I journey on through this Valley called life.

Ultimately God uses all things for His purposes and glory, whether it's 'bad' or good. That's comforting isn't it?

1 Timothy 4:4 For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving,

Romans 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

1 Corinthians 1:9 God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

Do you tend to be concerned when life flips you the bird?

Can you change the outcome of the future?

I hope you're encouraged as you too battle these fears chained to our nature, and rest at the feet of Him who died, was raised from this death and is reigning over His people, yes US, at every moment!

Now I have to think of what I'm feeding these children of mine, because they've appeared.

Moving Forward While Stepping Back

2013-07-29T13:12:00.003-04:00

The Lord has been squeezing me and others close to me, especially in matters that affect my local Church. We live in a free Country, so you'd think oppression or persecution would be long gone as we are a forward-thinking civilization in regards to freedom.

This is true except if the freedom you push is found in Christ Alone.

I want to be careful that I don't share too much, but the background is that we've been meeting in my Pastor's home for several years, taking the burden of keeping a building maintained off the congregant's shoulders. Circumstances led to our Body being forced to stop meeting at this residence, because of blah blah blah blah, and if we don't comply, loss of home would be the only option.

May I remind you we live in North America.

Although the authorities were wrong, we accepted that God was leading our Church to seek fellowship with another local similar-minded Church, which was an entirely different culture/language! It was a complete shock to find ourselves immersed in a new worship service where music was the highlight of the morning and very little was spent being taught from the pulpit. We did very little music and more learning from the Word. That being said, this Body was elbow deep in reaching the community with their own food bank, outreach we as a Body have never achieved. All of us could see the weirdness and the great potential of us working together, two distinct Bodies of Jesus Christ, will two obviously specific callings.

Both Churches lost members because of our fellowship. Some were looking for an excuse to leave regardless, others because something like this was unheard of. Not much has changed service wise, but because we are so different, we being only English speaking, and most of them not speaking English at all, communication is almost impossible. Some have actually come back over time as we've figured out how to do everything in both languages, and really, can Scripture be read too much? Hugs and smiles are not limited by tongue either. *wink*

Our leadership and their Leadership are meeting twice a week, and the glory of Christ is pouring out every Sunday morning. God is glorified! Goes to show that God has a plan and it's never what we think it's going to be.

We'll keep stepping forward and follow The Holy Spirit, continually checking that we stay out of His way as we do so.

Along this journey, we'll see miracles happen.

On Wanting to Punch Somone In The Face

2013-06-14T18:21:00.000-04:00

I know my title isn't very loving, and not reflective of who I'm striving to be at all, but it is the only response that quells my deep seated anger at an individual who is a ravenous wolf, trying to appear like an expert committed in helping others with a lifestyle she clearly knows nothing about. Just reading the Mission and Vision Statement on the About Page causes me to growl. Her name is well known in the Home School Community now but not in a positive light.

She actually wants to control and manipulate what she refers to as a 'system' and make money by doing so.

From "About Us" on the website:

I support regulation (mandatory notification of intent to provide home-schooling) of home-school in Ontario to keep an accurate count of children being home-schooled.

I believe that being a parent is a great responsibility, and an educator, an even greater one. I believe that it was intended for parents to provide for their children in both capacities; however, the responsibility of life and multiple children can lead to anxiety, burn-out, frustration and in some cases, abuse of the child or children . There are also different levels of abuse that can be misrepresented by some groups as gentle discipline.

Parents who are teaching their children at home have the responsibility of providing adequate education to their child or children. Parents teaching more than one child at a time and taking care of other responsibilities in the home can also affect the amount and quality of education a child receives.

I am therefore in support of,

mandatory notification of intent to provide home-schooling for parents of registered and non-registered (with school board) children implemented satisfactory education for home-school initiatives that educate home-school and non-home-school families on child abuse and related issues.

I can't explain her website any other way. I don't fault her for wanting to make money at all. However, the community has been up in arms ever since she was discovered. She's been questioned. She's had official letters written to her by official organisations. She's been offered help, but through it all she has refused and threatened to bring legal action against veterans who have seen and done it all because in her mind if a group doesn't side with and join her that group is harboring abusers.

From "GROUP-CONNECT"

Home-school support groups and organizations should connect with us to ensure the future of home-schooling. Operating separately and independently as most home-school groups do, will significantly decrease our chances of building effective infrastructure that will sustain the home-school industry for generations to come. It has been proven on many occasions that high quality governance (regulation) result in better outcomes and a more sustainable future. We welcome home-school support groups and organizations of all denominations.

She's viscous. She states she welcomes all, but they MUST conform to her business model, no ifs ands or buts.

She's purposefully working towards getting laws changed, laws that many have fought to be established, so that parents understand they are in full control of their child's education no matter what, whether they home educate is irrelevant.

This woman is striking me square in my gut over and over every time I read her statement.

This is her website..http://homeschoolregulation.org/ Since she began it's been edited, changed, and now it's back 'under construction'. It seems someone else is directing her, or she is taking bits and pieces from similar sites and play-d'ohing it together. Clever wordage can masterfully hide the underlying intent.

When my mom first started homeschooling it was unheard of. It caused quite the stir with relatives and neighbours and friends alike. I don't remember much of what happened in the early years but I do know we were under close scrutiny by the board of education, and at one point the CAS was notified. I remember being worried about showing my work to a total stranger, wondering if I was 'smart enough', afraid that I would be forced to go somewhere my parents didn't feel comfortable sending me to. There was also that looming threat of us being taken away, that somehow my parents weren't qualified to teach us so therefore we needed to be removed if our work wasn't satisfactory. I got used to the frequent visits from strangers but my feeling about it never changed. Once the examiner even asked me if I wouldn't rather go to his school, to which I replied, "Why?"

Being constantly watched/interrogated made my early education difficult on an emotional level, and I carry the scars from that to this day. I don't blame my Mom or my Dad, in fact I fully believe they did exactly what they thought would be the best thing for their children, and it was. I know I received a superior education, an education built around my gifts and talents, customized. I had the freedom to do what I wanted. I would be given a short list of tasks Mom required and once I finished them I could pursue other avenues that interested me. My love of writing started very early, and I was able to compose until I had calloused fingers. (I didn't get computer time very often as I had two older siblings who won out most of the time, so pencils became a close friend.)

If we had been regulated, like this woman is pushing, I would not be me. I would not have thrived. I do not do well with formal education, rules, lists, WAITING. I get bored very fast. I'm pretty sure I have ADD but I won't bother to be tested because who cares, I deal, and my approach works. My best is someone else's worst and visa versa. No one is the same, no ones education should be. I'm not bashing public education, in fact I know there are many excellent teachers who truly care about their students. Some may even be able to do things outside of the approved curriculum the government supplies, but for someone like me, with the learning style I have, I would have fallen through the cracks. My mom recognized this and as we grew her method of strict classroom desks/chalkboard/textbook/ changed, and we branched out in whole new territory, especially in my high school years.

As this will be my 7th year of educating my children, I've noticed my own tactics have morphed into more of an unschooling model. I teach my children to read, and we read the bible together, but then everything else is fair game. We run on curiosity, have adventures, and practice living. Math is done on a daily basis, just not in a book. (Mostly) My youngest knows if he has two cars and his brother has 3, they would have five cars together. And what child doesn't recognize a sibling that has more of anything! Kids play card games, the older ones bake, the younger ones help me measure out laundry detergent, I could go on. Education is meant to prepare a child for the rest of their life, and that is exactly what we're doing.

"Unschooling is an acknowledgment that schools and education are in many ways contradictory, that there's an implicit tension between them." says Jason Price, an assistant professor at the University of Victoria.

"People learn by playing, thinking, and amazing themselves. They learn while they're laughing at something surprising, and they learn while they're wondering, 'What the heck IS this?" Sandra Dodd

"Some focus on allowing the child to lead, even if it leads to using textbooks and workbooks and other schoolish materials — unschooling as "child-led learning." Others focus on encouraging the child to learn through real life situations and discoveries rather than textbooks — unschooling as "life learning." Unschooling is also sometimes known as "natural learning," "delight-driven learning," "experience-based learning," "independent learning," "non-coercive parenting," ... Each of these phrases has a slightly different nuance and emphasis, confirming that there are as many ways to manifest unschooling as there are families living it."

My journey this far has been hard, but super rewarding. When I see my child figure something out on their own, the expression on that perfect face makes all the exhaustion of having 5 children home all day seven days a week worth every minute.

That's why when someone comes in with no warning and no humility saying my lifestyle is abusive to children, my she-bear awakens, and the gloves are off.

I've learned to be careful about what I say, but even tact doesn't work sometimes.

I've been blocked from commenting on her facebook page for her website, as have other veteran homeschooling moms and dads, which is all the evidence I need to know her true agenda. If she really did want to help, would she not want to have as much information from those that KNOW what homeschooling is, instead of floundering around in the dark making assumptions and in one case accusing parents of hiding or wanting to diminish actual abuse?

I'm thankful there are groups that will ensure she doesn't get far, and I pray they will shut her down quick. I hope she finds a niche that works for her, without infringing on other people's way of life.

Resources:

http://sandradodd.com/unschooling

http://ontariohomeschool.org/unschooling.shtml

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/education/more-families-are-deciding-that-schools-out---forever/article570684/?page=all

The Antithesis Of Love

2013-06-10T12:03:00.004-04:00

I read an interesting conversation on a social forum, started from a father posting his story about instructing our children, whose son got trapped in prickles, you know, those large green plants like gaping jaws, ripping into your feet and not letting go?
Yeah those.
So the dad took the opportunity to teach his son a lesson, while the son was being pierced by these sharp needles, withholding the son's shoes during his lecture. The child was in pain, and all he wanted was his shoes. The child would have said anything to get what he wanted yet the dad was eager to share his 'teaching opportunity' God provided with the world. The father I'm sure loves his son, I don't doubt this one bit, and the evidence leads me to believe his theology seems very works based so I'm not at all surprised by his response to his child's cries, or his misuse of what we know as grace. He refused to give the child his shoes until the child recited certain things back to him. Sort of like a catechism. At the end of the conversation, my heart was literally torn from my chest in grief, mercy does not exist is some households.

We're taught that life is PAIN. Life is HARD. We're taught to grow a back bone and suck it up and it's just how it is. I'm not against that teaching for the most part, it does no one good to collapse under pressure or hide when things gets tough. My concern with this outlook being the only option is this:

Despair.

If your focus is teaching and preaching despair, who's going to listen after a while? Will this not cause people to lose hope? Will this not breed fear? If a person has no hope, but lots of fear why should they live? This kind of mentality usually ends up in rebellion and and the very worst, suicide. We can open a newspaper and see the devastating result of this message.
"Do or die."
"Only you can help yourself."
"Surround yourself only with people who have the same world view as you."
"No one is worth the effort."
"You deserve everything and it doesn't matter who you hurt in the process of achieving what you want."

See how wily Satan is?

No parent or parenting style is perfect, least of all mine. I'm learning as I go, leaning heavily on my spouse, his leadership and on God's grace and the Power of Christ Jesus, carried out by The Holy Spirit.

I do see the pendulum swinging too far to the other side, families with zero rules, neglecting to teach their children to respect authority, forgetting that children thrive on boundaries and as they mature the parameter of trust widens and spreads until one day they leave the nest...or that is the hope anyway; To grow individuals to maturity and capability of contributing to society? We do see the consequences of being too lenient out there, but we reap what we sow do we not?

We only have our own little ones for a short time. Let's use this time to point them to the love of Christ Jesus, and the beauty and wonder of God's earth and all that it offers. Let's focus our time cultivating the gifts and talents our children were born with, not scaring them into submission. Yes it's a big scary world out there, but teaching our children love and grace actually provides them with the tools desperately needed on this cursed earth. Producing people with the capacity to love no matter what gives hope to the lost!

When God gave His instructions to the Israelite people, it was to show a need for a Saviour, someone who could rescue us from the thorns of life and all that it demands in all it's merciless hateful drudgery. God's instructions for our life as His Creation is to promote love of Him and love of others. Unfortunately many of those who teach and practice Torah or 'Law' or works of any kind miss this beautiful truth. King David is a prime example of a sinner saved by grace and wrote many times of God's law:

Psalm 119:97-100 (ESV)

Mem

97 Oh how I love your law!

    It is my meditation all the day.

98 Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies,

    for it is ever with me.

99 I have more understanding than all my teachers,

    for your testimonies are my meditation.

100 I understand more than the aged,[a]

    for I keep your precepts.

David
 loved God's law with the love only those with the mind of Christ Jesus 
understand. We relish God's Word, we devour it and crave more. We don't
 view Scripture as a puzzle with missing pieces but instead see a complete and breathtaking 
picture of The Lord Jesus Christ who is the expressed nature of God's Law. 

If Christ Jesus is not the focal point the law is the antithesis of love.

We are called to be like Christ, 1 Peter 
2:5, living and breathing testimony of God's abundant grace and mercy. 
Ephesians 2:3-5, 2:8-9, Psalm 45:2, Ex 33:19, Prov 28:13.

I'll leave you with the story, you can decide for yourself whether you agree with the dad's methods or message.

Remember, we are the light of the world, the greatest commandment is to Love God and Love others. Love is an action, saturated with Mercy and Grace. I've seen my own husband react to a similar situation and he was swift to help and heal before any instruction or reminder was given, when the child was clearly able to focus on the lesson instead of reacting through a threshold of pain. Pain offers nothing but more pain.

Hope offers everything.

*names have been changed

>>>>>So my Son's friend comes in and asked where Bobbie's shoes were, so I asked where Bobbie was.

He said "Bobbie is stuck in the yard in some thorns."

I walked outside and said,

"Son, what is wrong?"

He said, "I am stuck in stickers and can't move, get my shoes it hurts."

So I patiently asked him, "How many times have we told you don't walk around outside without your shoes?"

He replied "Alot."

I said, "So the instruction was that you do not walk around in the yard without shoes, what is that?"

He said, "Torah Dad hurry it hurts."

I said, "So do you think you deserve me giving your shoes?"

He said "No Dad, I am sorry."

I said, "What is that when you tell me you are sorry."

He replied, "Repentance dad, I really am sorry, please give me my shoes."

I then gave Him his shoes and asked, "What is that Son?"

He said, "That is Grace dad, I won't do it again."

"Even the simplest of opportunities that may cause the children a little pain will save them from hell, always use every opportunity to instruct your children." -The Father <<<<<

Speechless Seeking

2013-04-19T17:39:00.000-04:00

Oh fear, oh fear my inner self!

This truly hates my love for You!

Wants not Your Will but what it seeks;

Kill that which vapours vainly teach.

No room, no room in this marred heart;

Keep it full of Your Grace and Love.

Fill me up with Your Mercy, Dear Father, and then:

Pour into me more of Yourself.

I deserve not this, nor time, nor view

I would rather have my own desires fed

But though I seek my own demise

My God you plucked me from these lies!

Dear God, dear God you gifted life in Christ.

Oh Lord, oh Lord,

I'm Speechless.

~Rae

Affirming Debt

2013-02-25T16:31:00.000-05:00

I think we let ourselves off too easy as converted human beings. I think we allow our sin nature to take the lead more often than not. It is after all, our auto pilot, and if we're not being intentional and diligent in keeping up with prayer for instance, sin will be killing the desire for it.

There is no empty space in your heart. You are either being filled up with God, or filled up with sin.

We're born into a putrid foul decaying earth. We are rotting from within. I apologize for getting so graphic but we need to understand our place in creation. Certainly we were made in the image of God, (Gen 1) but the point is that we were made, and we remain tainted by sin even after being found in Jesus Christ. Forget this, and one will immediately think they deserve to be treated and respected or acknowledged a certain way, or have obtained a less 'sinful state'. I've fallen prey to my inner sin nature many times. I was angry when I found myself in a predicament where a wedge was slammed between me and those I've known and loved for years. My anger was sin. I didn't like what God was doing and I showed my true colours when He shone His pure light on me. But even though He does this, even though God reveals my true self to me, the self that is continually going to battle for life instead of accepting death in Christ, His Grace is abundant and like a soothing salve to a severe burn I find rest and solace on my face before the cross.

“He can make the dry parched ground of my soul to become a pool and my thirsty barren heart as springs of water. Yes he can make this habitation of dragons this heart which is so full of abominable lusts and fiery temptations to be a place of bounty and fruitfulness unto Himself.”

~John Owen

God provides all. He is the source of all things good, justifiable pure and lovely. When comparing anything to Him, it is but dust, dirt, or like webs of nothing.

Jonathan Edwards wrote:

“Of all the knowledge that we can ever obtain, the knowledge of God, and the knowledge of ourselves, are the most important.”

“If the heart be chiefly and directly fixed on God, and the soul engaged to glorify him, some degree of religious affection will be the effect and attendant of it. But to seek after affection directly and chiefly; to have the heart principally set upon that; is to place it in the room of God and his glory. If it be sought, that others may take notice of it, and admire us for our spirituality and forwardness in religion, it is then damnable pride; if for the sake of feeling the pleasure of being affected, it is then idolatry and self-gratification.”

Edwards words carry as much truth today as they hour he penned them. As soon as we think we need a pat on the back, 'good for me', God has been replaced and self reigns our heart. Even putting that effort into going to Church every week can be a snare to our steps, if the effort we put in is from a place of pride.

It is good to check your personal motive for doing something. Why am I doing this? What am I doing? Who am I doing it for? Where is it taking me? When do I do it, out of convenience or necessity or duty?

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Job 28:28 And he said to man,’Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, and to turn away from evil is understanding.’”

Proverbs 2:10-11 for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you,

James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God,who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Ecclesiastes 7:12 For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it.

When you are confronted with your sin, present it before the throne, asking God to kill it, and if it remains ask Him to kill it again. If it continues to remain, God is using that particular sin to grow you up, to refine you, to build your knowledge and wisdom of His Grace and Love, His Will. Don't ignore the lessons associated with that sin, but own it. I struggled with smoking for several years, I tried to quit time and again but each hour my craving for the taste and feeling of that sweet slow heat in my nose and throat overcame me. I could not die to that desire. I had no strength in me to, even though I hated my addiction. So I cried out to God. I cried out day after day. I resolved myself one day to not light up, believing the power of The Holy Spirit would help me, and any time my hands started to shake I prayed, calling out to my Perfect Redeemer to remove that selfish desire from me. You see it wasn't the smoking that really was the issue. Yes it stinks. Yes it causes oral issues, health issues and affects anyone in close proximity to you. But the underlying sin of smoking is *self*. Gratifying self is our human nature. It was very difficult, I'm not going to lie, but eventually God did what I asked of Him, and I've been smoke free for 7 years. In Matthew 7:7 Jesus says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Life changing truth!

Matthew 21:22 If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

John 15:7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

Be sure to ask for the right thing. Make sure you are asking God.

“Being sensible that I am unable to do any thing without God's help, I do humbly entreat Him, by His grace, to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to His will, for Christ's sake.”

~Johnathan Edwards

Our hope remains in Jesus Christ, that one day we will be free from this flesh and sin, united as one body before the throne of Grace, Mercy and Love. Take heart dear Christian, God's help is Efficient and His Work is Eternal. He is not a hands off Master, but is indeed the only One who can reach into our heart and write His Will on the walls. He owns you, and is faithful. You must own your sin and kill it. This is done by God alone through Christ alone by The Holy Spirit alone. Ask Him.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Rhodonite, Serpentine, Aventurine, and a Zebra.

2013-02-19T21:39:00.000-05:00

I got all scientific today.

Don't expect this to happen again in the near future.

I enjoyed doing experiments growing up, but I am not interested in figuring out stuff. I know the colour wheel, I know that wool can be paired with anything, and Salmon does not do well with a tomato sauce. I'm not interested in why this is true, only that it is. God has gifted me with the ability to find out if necessary but I'd much rather just think I know something then to go looking for proof of it.

This is my struggle. You may have that urge to go out and connect the dots, figuring out why X+U%9=That, which is totally cool and gnarly and I will ooh and ahh over your findings if it at all interests me. It probably won't though.

This past Sunday I missed morning service as I had been struggling all week after being out and (YES) eating out. I'm going to start another blog based on my gluten adventures so stay tuned, it may be awhile because I am a Momma to five children and homeschool and have two dogs and want a clean house and don't have anyone else to cook three squares a day plus snacks so my free time is few and far between. I only have one kid right now interrupting me to ask the same question over and over only in slightly different ways as right now the other four are outside enjoying the snow/slush/muck. Yes it involves food. No I will not give in this close to when I start preparing dinner.
Even though I missed the service my Honey was able to tell me a bit about what our Pastor presented from God's word.

We are stones, in a Tumbler, being tossed around with dirt. The kicker? This is God's design. God uses our filth, our sin, this cursed planet, to refine us, His people. There was more, so much more, about the natural decay of the church, but I'm focusing on what I understand at this point.

Picture this:

There we are, minding our own business, doing whatever it is that we like to do, not aware of our plight or situation. We don't realize that we're dirty, filthy, unwanted, surrounded by a substance when wet is MUD.

But then we are picked up.

No warning.

No conscious decision on our part.

In an instant we are removed from what we were comfortable, happy and secure being in.

What we knew.

What we understood.

We were snatched from our simple rock life and tossed with other stones in a big tumbler that is spinning!

Why did this happen!!??

Being tossed about with other rocks and dirt produce the very best product.

1 Peter 2:5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Matthew 16:18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

1 Kings 7:9 All these were made of costly stone, cut according to measure, sawed with saws, back and front, even from the foundation to the coping, and from the outside to the great court.

Isaiah 28:16 Therefore thus says the Lord God, "Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion, a stone, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone of a sure foundation: 'Whoever believes will not be in haste."

Isaiah 54:11 "O afflicted one, storm tossed and not comforted, behold, I will set your stones in antimony, and lay your foundations with sapphires.

Mathew 24:2 But he answered them, "You see all these, do you not? Truly, I say to you, there will not be left here one stone upon the other that will not be thrown down."

We have a calling dear Christian, one that is painful, foreign, and sometimes upside-down. Isaiah 28:16 prophesies the coming Messiah, Jesus Christ, and he was indeed tested beyond a mere mans ability to endure. He felt the Eternal wrath of God, not something to take lightly. He was put through the unimaginable, but because he endured the life God ordained for him to, we who put our trust and faith in him benefit, by our reconciliation with God!

1 Peter 2:4-8

4As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, 5you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6For it stands in Scripture:

“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone,

a cornerstone chosen and precious,

and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”

7So the honor is for you who believe, but for those who do not believe,

“The stone that the builders rejected

has become the cornerstone,”^a

8and

“A stone of stumbling,

and a rock of offense.”

They stumble because they disobey the word, as they were destined to do.

Take heart dear Christian!

You will be rejected by men!

You will experience pain like never before!

You will endure hardship, it may be physical, financial, mental, or all of the above, but even thought this is the Christian life, The Almighty has already equipped you for every good work. (2 Tim 3:17)

The end result of the filthy chaos we find ourselves in reveals the precious stones we are in Christ Jesus. So put on The Lord's righteousness, and forge ahead, and welcome the beating you will receive.

This is our calling.

This is our end.

Revelation 21:11 Having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal.

Reference Link

And Here.

Scripture

No Hope For The Hopeless Except Those In Christ

2013-01-28T19:15:00.001-05:00

I was told that I would lose my Salvation today, that my place in Heaven was only secure if I did what the Jews of old tried to do, things like keeping Sabbath, and not eating pork, you know, the easy stuff, the stuff we need to guess how best it applies to us today.

Our best guess keeps our place in Heaven.

I'm not the gambling type, so 'best guess' doesn't sound that good at all.

My heart broke for the poor woman who spoke those words to me.

I asked her how often she thinks is required for Christ to be nailed to the cross. I am still waiting for a response, but I doubt I will get one.

This woman's theology matches her belief system: if you think you chose god then of course you can lose god...but the god she chose is of her own making, a weak and insignificant one at that. Her god will lose her because *she* fails.

My sadness was compounded when others agreed with this woman's statement, that God would toss me out of Heaven for bad behaviour...

They have yet to learn the good news of the gospel.

Christ died for me while I still behaved badly!

Romans 5:6-8 ESV

⁶For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—⁸but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Christ did not die for those who had it all together, for those who rejected him and said they had the law so they got it covered.

Galatians 3:10 For all who rely on works of the law are under a curse; for it is written, “Cursed be everyone who does not abide by all things written in the Book of the Law, and do them.”

Genesis 4:11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand.

Deuteronomy 27:26 "Cursed is the man who does not uphold the words of this law by carrying them out." Then all the people shall say, "Amen!"

Jeremiah 11:3 Tell them that this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'Cursed is the man who does not obey the terms of this covenant--

Galatians 3 ESV

By Faith, or by Works of the Law?

1O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. 2Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? 3Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by^a the flesh? 4Did you suffer^b so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain?5Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith— 6just as Abraham “believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”?

7Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham. 8And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify^c the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, “In you shall all the nations be blessed.” 9So then, those who are of faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith....

.....12But the law is not of faith, rather “The one who does them shall live by them.” 13Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree”— 14so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit^e through faith.

......21Is the law then contrary to the promises of God? Certainly not! For if a law had been given that could give life, then righteousness would indeed be by the law. 22But the Scripture imprisoned everything under sin, so that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe.

Galations 3:28

Romans 3:22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,

Romans 3:29 Is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles too? Yes, of Gentiles too,

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

What Good News!

Pass it on!

Gorgeous

2013-01-20T19:44:00.001-05:00

Alright January you've been a little rough. I'll admit, even though my resolution is to just be, I still want to plan my days ahead of time and give myself a check list of to do's to accomplish so that at the end of the day when I sleep I feel like I deserve it.

Silly eh?

I add more to my plate because being a wife, a mom to five kids and all that this entails to my mind is the easy stuff.

I was a working mom at one point in my life. I felt guilty when I was home because I knew my son needed much for his future and I was the only one who was going to provide it, and I felt guilty when I was at work in the few minutes break I had to remember who I was in between clients because I was not with my son. People ask me if I miss working outside the home, and really, the honest answer is still no, that my busy life now is not comparable in the least, however it is fulfilling. A little.

What I miss about being out in the work force is my individuality. I wasn't this mom person. I didn't have people telling me what to do or telling me they hated the meal I prepared, or be put in the position to discipline when all I wanted to do is either fall on the floor in tears, or cackle until they came.
I miss being 'Me'.
The 'me' that was sought out, recommended, referred to. The 'me' that was admired and nothing compares to being handed cash while someone says, "I've never felt this good about myself in my life."

Maybe that's why call girls do what they do. Ahem.

But I digress.

Fortunately the attitude I have is normal, and when I stop to think about it God is merciful to point out my selfishness in desiring this idol called individuality Certainly I'm an individual, that will never change, unless in The Lords providence I end up losing my marbles and become three of myself (horrors!) but even then, my heart and life belongs to Him and instead of wanting to be this 'me' who gets all the glory, my focus should be stepping back and saying:

"To God be The Glory.

Great Things He Hath Done."

And so, being 'Wife' and being 'Mom' is all I need to be because this is where I am in this Season of my life.

It is enough.

Just Be

2013-01-02T13:53:00.001-05:00

New Years Eve came and went, other than us recovering from being sick nothing exciting happened.

Oh there were a few typical messages put out there that Jan 1st isn't the start of the New Year in God's eyes blahblahblahblah but you know what? Who really cares! If you do, cool, that is your business and your conscience before the throne, but don't tell me I need to believe or participate in the same thing as you because my walk is not like yours and that's okay. Besides, the free calendars says what it does and my schedule goes along with it as does the world....

Which brings me to my thought for today. New Years Eve brings on resolutions, people publicly promising themselves that they will do 'better' in the unblemished brand newness an unmarked calendar brings. What they forget, and I do this too, is that there is nothing new under the sun, that the brand new year is already tainted with our sin, and that 'bad things' and 'pain' will continue to happen because that is the nature of this world. Despite this truth, there is hope in Christ, and even though us Christians continue being sinners, we know that upon death Eternity is our reward, an eternity filled with God's glory and nothing else, and so we endure the days, weeks, and months associated with humanity plodding on year after year.

I tend to avoid making resolutions as I know myself. I'm lazy, and if I do say I'm going to do something I do it like a boss and so I'm cautious at what I commit to. (See my pride there?) I don't promise something if I'm not 90% sure I can go through with it. I'm good at saying no, but it had to be learned. I'd like for people to think I'm willing to do anything, but I'm not, I struggle with helping others because it may cause me to say something which can get me into trouble. I get into trouble a lot.

While I'm writing this a thought popped into my head as thoughts tend to do and that is knowing my perspective is so out there, so crazy to other people that I've lost relationships because of it and yet I am not in denial or fretting over it. I know I come off as a know it all, because I am confident in the knowledge I have. Am I open to changing my views? You betcha, because I fully believe a renewal of mind is vital in the Christian walk. Does my openness negate my beliefs right now? Nope. I stand on the rock and my faith is secure, God's got this. Knowing this do I regret 2012 and all that it brought?

Not one bit because God designed it to be exactly how it turned out.

I made chicken soup today. It was delicious. No I am not humble when it comes to my soup because I make good soup, something I learned and thankful I was able to. I had left over chicken bones, some meat and baked and boiled all the flavour out of them. I then added thyme, sage, garlic and pepper, and a pinch of salt, not too much as we don't like terrible salty tasting food, we like the food taste. I added turnip, carrots, baby brussel sprouts and rice. Weird combo but it turned out hearty, filling, and perfect for a cold wintry day. Rice is pretty bland on it's own, and brussel sprouts are an acquired taste. I know people who can not stand turnip and others who avoid carrots. On their own these ingredients are okay, but put together they nourish my body and promote my children's growth. If I just fed them rice, I don't think they'd develop well and I think I would be weak.

My point is that I can learn something on it's own, but if I don't add it to another lesson already learned or in the process of understanding I'm missing out on the fullness of that trial and will not apply it to my life correctly or in the most beneficial way. I need the other ingredients to appreciate the whole thing, this challenging walk we call life. If I only stick to one or two things I like and feel comfortable with, I am totally missing out on the complete package variety produces and the heartiness doing so promotes, whatever that may be.

That is why I can safely claim my resolution for 2013 is to just be...

Be open.

Be vulnerable.

Be loving.

Be weak.

Be humble.

Be quiet.

Be loud.

Be there.

Be me.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

2012-12-25T12:35:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas Day!

Every single person in our household is sick with the flu.

We have a family tradition adopted from my childhood that Dad makes breakfast. I have very fond memories of my father's omelet. My dad didn't cook much, but he made Christmas brunch, which ended up being more like lunch after we got him out of bed, opened presents, and he finally got to work after his usual morning routine. I think it was a nice break for my mom, and us girls certainly enjoyed dad ruling the kitchen in his bathrobe. (Christmas morning we got a rare glimpse of his knobby knees he's generously passed on to me and my daughter as my father is quite tall and my mom had a hard time finding him robes long enough, although I think he secretly liked to show some leg above his black socks and sandals ) As I recall my father only burnt his omelet once in the 25+ years I remember; it was usually light, fluffy and full of yumminess. So Good!

When we were first married, my dear man though ~The Dad~ making Christmas brunch was an excellent idea. He doesn't do an omelet, since we have eggs pretty often and that includes them being chocked full of delicious things, fresh fruit, pancakes or waffles with real maple syrup and bacon tend to be his go-to treat for us. This year Spouse even went to the grocery store on Christmas Eve to make sure everything he purchased was super fresh. Sounded crazy but I appreciated his effort knowing that it was an extreme gesture of love as everyone knows being out and about on the Eve of Christ's 'birthday' is insane because every store will be closed for TWO WHOLE DAYS *gasp* and when that happens human beings go nuts.

Unfortunately, all five of our children woke up a few days ago with high fevers, coughing, some vomiting and others with pink eye. I thought our Christmas would be ruined which was a bit disappointing as I had planned lots of activities and prepared copious amounts of food to be consumed as is the custom of my children.

My plans went out the window.

So glad I know God had ordained this from the foundation of creation and equipped us to handle it.

Even though a few fevers broke and some appetite has returned, our youngest ended up giving back the little breakfast he did try this morning.

Luckily it landed on the kitchen floor.

Even more fortunate was that my dogs love human food so I only had to wash and disinfect the floor after they cleaned it up.

Have a Merry Christmas! :D

You're welcome.

Say Pause

2012-12-18T16:00:00.000-05:00

Nap time is usually a battle in my house.

Because of the brilliant arguing, the manipulation, the promises that these young children will be "really good mommy," I've allowed these 5's and 3 year old to forgo a rest in the afternoon.

I always regret it by 5pm. It's like a bomb drops when 4:59 steps forward, when I'm trying to prepare dinner for my husband who I assume had a very long day and was supposed to be home hours before and yet the clock ticked away with a no show: but a warm, full belly fixes all, except tired kids.

They whine.

They haaaannnnnggggg.

Everything is a natural disaster.

They're hungry NOW. They don't want a vegetable that won't wreck their appetite but sustain their obviously made up esurience. They are dying of thirst. Water clearly won't fix that.

Some days it's all three at the same time, and other days they tag team leaving me no choice but to stop what I'm doing and try to calm the situation down as much as a war zone allows.

Most days I can smooth everyone out, but there are such times that nothing will do except bed, and if it wasn't a terrible explosion yet utter those words and even the devil wouldn't come around the corner to witness the carnage.

That is why naps are still required most days. They don't have to be long, I think my little girl sleeps maybe 45 minutes, but when she wakes up her head is on her shoulders straight and that is good. My youngest boy suggests that I should lay down with him because naps are awesome.

I agree wee man.

Insomnolence

2012-12-14T01:25:00.001-05:00

Hello my poor neglected online presence, how are you? Life has been very busy in the real world, a whirlwind of happenings that I will only remember if I sit down and think really hard about them. Like now. The flurry of activity has been full of good, bad, and not much ugly. (Christmas/Dinner parties + Dress-up = fabudelepicness.) So far through it all I have become more in awe of the Sovereignty of God.

He is perfect.

I must admit now that the holiday season is here, and the world around is bustling, impatiently climbing over one another to get that perfect gift for a loved one...I feel kind of detached from it all. I've still decorated my house, I've still baked delicious, full of carbs and fatty treats. I get exited with my children when we see Santa. My detachment is not with the Season itself, but with what the Season represents to most people. I know I won't be gathering with the regular folk I have celebrated with my entire life for the first time this year.

I feel like there has been a death. Yes, like something died, was laid to rest, and now it's just a memory. Sometimes the reflection brings forth a touch of a smile on my face; sometimes my heart aches so hard for the wasted years of nothingness, I feel like it is shredding itself on my rib cage as it tries to escape my chest. Hard to describe losing something precious. I find it difficult to compute how easy it was for others to cut me off and throw me away.

No one wants to face reality, we just want to keep our head down and move along and be comfortable, not rock the boat or be noticed for fear of what we might lose, or have invested our time in. No one except me.

I accept what has happened and is happening with a joyful heart always because my life is designed perfectly by my Creator. If anyone thinks I could change God's plan then they don't get God's Sovereignty.

What brings you comfort?

For myself, it is the Word of God and The Spirit of my Saviour. Nothing more. There isn't anything more.

We've recently started sponsoring a wee boy, and our seven year old commented about how amazed the child would be to see our local grocery store, it's massive size large enough to give someone a good workout with a step counter. Doing something for a little boy that eventually we might meet someday taught and is teaching my own babies that things aren't what makes a person happy, a person is gifted with happiness, and will make the best of everything no matter what, but this small child knowing that he will eat for another month is just the topping of the cake.

Life isn't about us, and what we can get out of it.

Things break. Things disappoint. Things wear out, or don't work with other things even though they come from the same manufacturer. Things can't challenge you, or if they were designed to the point is to eventually beat the thing. How many times can I count that I have been happy to learn something new only to forget about it once it's old news or something better comes along that replaces the last thing?

I must admit I used to be the type that would enter the New Year in debt, because showering my loved ones with items they wanted, and even needed, satisfied my prideful inner self. I tend to be generous with stuff to appease others because I'm a social freak and not good with words in a face-to-face conversation. I've been known to say things that hurt, or cause pain, which is never my intent except when it is, but no one wants to hear the truth and so to avoid confrontation which inevitably follows suit with most of my interactions I instead bake pie and offer that in lieu of my opinion.

I'm wrong.

I know I'm wrong.

I know The Almighty gave me this voice for His purpose, and that if I neglect to speak His truth I am hiding my light under a bushel. I know this. Abba, help me!

God's Truth is real. It is not a thing. God's truth does not change with the times, nor does His Truth conform to anyone's lifestyle. His Word is spoken, and then He writes it on an individuals heart, in His time, if you belong to Jesus Christ. The message of God's Truth is above all, we love. That's it. Love is an action, a focus on others and something humanity is very bad at, giving a gift doesn't count. Love is calling on a friend and offering whatever that person needs when it's most inconvenient to you. Love is believing the best of people regardless of their actions and forgiving them over and over even when they show no signs of repentance Love is enduring the worst, putting self aside, rolling up the sleeves and doing what seems necessary for another human being regardless of what you may or may not get out of it. Love is warning a person about God's Holy wrath. Love brings about restoration, whether an issue has been sleeping for decades, or just popped up while you are reading this.

What happens if an issue becomes a festering boil hidden under layers of years of practice, a gross pustular bulge called, bitterness? (Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 4:31) I myself have held seeds of this disease, cultivated it's essence and allowed a sprig to root, but The Holy Spirit has destroyed any remnant left from years past and what remains is sweet, a mind full of loving thoughts and a heart full of pity. (Psalm 71:20-21) I am no better than the next guy, no one is. I still struggle with resentment, but it's not my master. I know who I am and I thank God He is slowly showing me my filth in tiny cycles, His mercy is astounding. I am being washed away constantly and what will be left is what God sees Eternally. My gratitude is overwhelming and I want to share it with everybody, but I'm really bad at it.

Forgive my melancholy attitude.

I tried to go to bed early tonight in anticipation for a busy weekend, but because my brain is stupid it will not cease to think and so I thought stupidly I'd see where my blog was.

It was right where I left it.

Evidential Advancement

2012-11-20T10:34:00.004-05:00

“Self-righteousness is much like a spiritual egocentricity.

It constitutes a secular type of love that thrives under conditionality, one in which is only existent after an individual meets the adopted standards of the condemner;

oppositely, unconditional love is a holy love.”

― Criss Jami, Salomé: In Every Inch In Every Mile

I think I come off as a know-it-all.

I don't mean to. In fact, I know I don't know anything really. I know what I know, but is that enough to know better? I believe I could know more. Knowledge however, won't change my heart.

Only one method will change me, and He is doing it in His time.

We (people) are very impatient with one another.

"He should know better."

"She knows, why doesn't she change?"

I say it's impossible for a leopard to change its spots.

The leopard may desire to be a thoroughbred horse. It can cover itself with mud, leaves, grass, hiding its true colours for a time, mimicking a horses whinny, but underneath it all, it's still a big cat.

I think this is an excellent picture of how people behave.

We are raised to think a certain way, influenced by parents, teachers, friends... which molds our character and brings us to a point of maturity until we start to decided what's best for self. We like what we see in a certain group, and we try to fit in. This is true for all aspects of the social sphere.

I liked the idea of Christianity but until God reached in and changed me I was powerless to do anything except what I thought was right, and in so doing actually mocked the very faith I held in high esteem, thinking I followed the 10 commandments pretty well.

I have noticed that human beings like to blame each other for not changing. I have fallen prisoner to this line of thinking in my past. We are born with a sense of right and wrong, but we can not deny our inner being, who we really are. We are able to put on a show, make appearances and act a certain way around certain people, and accept others at face value, but we still remain 'ME' regardless of the influence surrounding us. What I think is right may not necessarily be someone else's sense of it, and my wrong could be way off from another beings attitude about where that line is drawn.

That is why the Gospel is such a joy and delight because in Christ Alone are all things made beautiful.

Only In Him is Purity found.

We add nothing to our sanctification and I find this an amazing and comforting truth.

Anything I do is tainted, but the thing that God is doing is real and permanent.

God is writing His Will on my heart to remain a part of me for eternity! He is doing this to all of His Elect!

I can not change who I am, but slowly my Creator is molding me to be more like His perfect Son, Jesus Christ. I'm learning to accept my spots as they remain, and not worry about wiping myself clean because it will never happen. I will only make it worse, or hide from myself who I truly am, thinking I'm not that bad, or I don't struggle with such'n'such. That kind of thinking leads to self righteousness, Satan's best tool.

My righteousness is as filthy rags, but Christ's Righteousness is imputed to me; not all at once but slowly, in stages, else my soul collapse. This is mercy. This is Grace, that nothing I do helps God in any way, lest I should boast in me.

I will boast in my God, because I know Him.

I will hope in my Saviour, because He sustains me and gives me peace and rest.

For this I am thankful, humbled, and assured that my Heavenly Father is doing the job He begun, I need not take over at any time.

Amen.

Just As It Should Be

2012-11-10T15:53:00.000-05:00

I was without my Spouse for two days and one night. Big deal right?

It could have been any kind of disaster with five children, two dogs and okay weather. The local police did shut down a major through-way which caused City traffic to be a crazy mess but luckily I was warned driving home from our friend's home and was able to avoid the long waits on most side streets. I kept the kids busy in areas I knew wouldn't be affected by the extra volume of commuters the next day.

What could have gone wrong didn't and because of the loving gesture from my friend the time flew for the kids and I.

I like having a man around.

I love that the responsibility of our family lies on his shoulders It's not easy to give him the burden, because I want to do it myself thankyouverymuch. I'm very glad I don't have to. In fact, it was designed by Our Perfect Master that I do hand over the reigns and keep my mouth shut as my Husband leads and guides us.

I'm learning this role as a Christian.

My identity is found in Jesus Christ, not as wife/mother/friend.

My life will mirror my Saviour, and as he was and is attacked so must I be. What a beautiful privilege!

Micah 7:5-7

We are studying the book of Job, and boy oh boy is it seriously wonderful! Job was a man who was confident in His redeemer, Jesus, and even though his so called friends came to talk to him, all ended up reacting to Job with disdain by the end of the book. I recognize this demonic behaviour. Job's friends could not let go of their own self righteousness, and it ticked them off that Job laid everything at the feet of God. They weren't the one responsible, God gave Satan permission to use Job's companions, even his wife, against him to destroy his confidence in His Creator.
BUT see the confidence of God, that His work would not be shaken by a pathetic serpent! A serpent who had to ask permission, who could only do what he wanted within the boundaries set out by a Sovereign God! What Our God has done no man can undo!! Romans 8:31-39. I think some view Job as a battle between good and evil, but evil has no weight, no power, none, unless granted by The One And Only Master.

The book of Job is a great example of the Christian life.

Trails will come.

They are meant for the good of God's Elect.

In my experience this is very true and quite humbling.

My Heavenly Father could have sent a friend to undermine my Spouse while he was away, to question or attack our values as this unit, but instead God provided a sister who is solid in Faith and an encouragement to me, discussing life with her is energizing to say the least! Even knowing this, my hope is not in our friendship, but the person and work of The Lord who is behind it cultivating our relationship and is indeed the focus of it.

Being the only parent for a few days reminded me of how much I rely on my own strength, instead of trusting that all things come from God whether they be a toddler throwing himself on the floor in a temper or a child old enough to know better hiding garbage from his snack in the couch cushions.

Yes, these offspring aggravate me to no end, but they will not be children forever.

I noticed God gave me an abundance of tolerance this week. It hasn't gone away. I still yell, but it takes longer to get there this week than it did last week. My Creator is doing His work in me praise His Holy Name.

As I grow in maturity in a spiritual sense, I hope my example will allow my kids to see the contrast of knowing and living for The Lord instead of living only for self.

This is my prayer anyway. I have faith just as Job knew Jesus would come, I know he has and His ministry is continuing from the Throne Room of God.

Job 19:25

Like Shakespeare

2012-10-29T15:53:00.000-04:00

Ever been betrayed?

I bet you have. I bet someone promised you something but then after a while they either forgot that vow or minimized it, or denied it entirely. Life changes, feelings deplete, bitterness grows until finally someone gives in to their self. It may take years, or only a few minutes. Linguists, Musicians, Producers of Film; pretty evident that all agree betrayal is by far the worst human act besides murder. Having ones confidence shattered takes a moment to realize and sometimes a lifetime to heal from. A person may never return from the reality of unfaithfulness on an intellectual level.

I have been betrayed.

I have had people affirm their love for me, guarantee their loyalty to me or a cause/person I belong to/love only to have them bail at the first sign of trouble.

Trouble comes in all forms.

The worst is the small lie.

God hates liars, and I understand why. Proverbs 6:16-19 states 'Seven things The Almighty Hates', characteristics of Satan himself. Because God can do no wrong, a person should take pause before deliberately choosing to carry one or more of these attributes out. Sometimes the defense of the small lie takes over which snowballs into an avalanche of attacks that otherwise would have been avoided if the individual stopped thinking about self. Self righteousness must lead to these 7 things, or what the Bible warns about is inaccurate.

Am I saying I don't lie? No. Am I saying I've never once responded to another human being with a hateful heart? Certainly not.

I am scum, period.

As I grow in the knowledge of The Word of God His Spirit reveals more and more of my total depravity...a light shone in darkness exposes what's there. I am truly thankful my sin is shown to me in bits and pieces, I think if I saw how I really am my mind could not process it. Somewhere a part of me thinks I am not as bad as that person shooting heroine, or that prostitute turning tricks for the next hit, or the CEO selling out an employee for a bigger paycheck. Honestly, I am as bad or worse than these examples. I betrayed my God by being born into a cursed world that denies it's Designer.

Psalm 51

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.

I have promised myself to another, but did not keep that covenant. I promised my heart to Jesus the day I was baptized, but after a rough time hated the idea of Church which ironically is the manifestation of the expression of the Love I dedicated myself to. I thought my life was to be lived by me and I was doing a good job because I read my bible almost every day, but soon found out my existence is for His glory alone, what a wonderful realization! A gift from my Heavenly Father, one that remains hidden until Jesus Christ is known.

Using my marriage as an example there has been many times I wanted to walk away because I didn't want to humble myself and see my sin. If The Lord had allowed it, I'd be alone, and even though I would be fine ultimately God ordained that I should be in this earthy relationship, one that goes against my nature, and though very trying it has caused me to be closer to my Saviour Jesus Christ. My husband, however wonderful he is, can not fulfill my need: the sanctification of my soul. Spouse fills my earthly desires, most of the time. He works very hard at keeping me happy; necklaces snap, houses wear out and need to be repaired, cars break down, kids cause stress, bills pile up, flowers die....all these which are related to a tangible world mean nothing when compared to Eternity.

I love my kids. I like my clothes, my vehicle...all the creature comforts belonging to a Canadian gals life.

Christ Jesus overshadows all of these.

Proverbs 12:22 I know Christ Jesus keeps his word and enables me to keep mine as long as I continue to gaze Heaven word and not inward. I can not serve myself and Christ. I can not focus on the desires of my heart and expect The Holy Spirit to fight for space.

I am consumed by God's mercy and grace and pray He continues to pour His Word and Spirit out onto His people with the generosity only He can. I understand the lessons God has taught me thus far is to remain ready, be diligent and intentional when serving His Will and keep watch on my own heart, guarding it against the ssslick sssmart foe who detests Yahweh most of all.

It is humbling to appreciate the fact that my heart can be hardened at any time to betray my beautiful Creator, and lie to his people.

His Will.

Not mine.

May it be Lord! May it be!

About Music

2012-10-05T11:53:00.000-04:00

I think music in itself is healing. It's an explosive expression of humanity. It's something we are all touched by. No matter what culture we're from, everyone loves music.
Billy Joel

I love music.

I enjoy multiple genres, including and not limited to a person using garbage cans or tire rims to create a melody. Music sets my mood, or I choose what I listen to based on what I want to feel. One of my most favourite movies captures the emotional response only music can influence.

If left unchecked music will become a fierce master.

What made me think of this?

Historically music has been used for many many things, including worship of God. David the Sheppard boy sang to The Lord, and his Psalms did not cease when he became King. His praise and love for all things godly is reflective in his words, I'll use Psalm 23 as an example:

The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
²    He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.^[a]
³    He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness^[b]
    for his name's sake.

⁴Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,^[c]
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶Surely^[d] goodness and mercy^[e] shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell^[f] in the house of the Lord
    forever.^[g]

Clearly God is the center of David's world, his will is bound to his Creator's through Jesus Christ, as is true of all elect persons. However, is music or words to music enough to worship God? I was one of those people who thought the way songs made me feel brought me closer to my Master. God gifted me with the ability to carry a tune, and for years I sang my heart out thinking the words and the notes I chirped were beautiful and sufficient for worship of God. I didn't pay attention to what was being said for the most part, more the harmony and blending in with those who sang around me. As I got older, the focus became the melodies, a team was created to lead the rest of the congregation, which wasn't bad in itself, but grew into being the core of which the rest of the Church service stemmed from.

Music became the master.

We can not serve more than one. Matthew 6:24

I am not saying instruments shouldn't be played, and that appropriate songs shouldn't be sung in the Church service. I think singing is a tangible way for all in the assembly to lift our voices as one, in rehearsal for the day we are in fact before the throne of God! My concern is if the music and singing become such an intricate part that it takes over someones idea of what worship is, that can be dangerous.

Gathering for Church doesn't necessarily need music. It's nice, but not needed.

You can imagine the culture shock of going from a Church that had incredible music, amazing musicians and a large time slot for singing, to a Church that sang by guitar chords alone, with piano accompaniment sometimes. Our service doesn't have any set number of songs we sing, it varies every week. We have one member that leads the singing, and that's it. There are many beautiful voices in our congregation, but the point is not to focus on their voices, but our voices as one before our King! It has taken me a while to adjust, but no longer is the praise and hymns my concern, but the word of God presented from the pulpit. No longer do I eagerly wait for the songs, although I still enjoy singing, but I wait to feed off the feast The Holy Spirit has prepared for us.

Music is great, but if not kept in it's place it can have power over a humans will, and cause the purpose of it's existence and the distinction therein to be blurred.

Music is a moral law.

It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.
Plato

Dude Looks Like A Lady!

2012-10-02T11:07:00.001-04:00

It's my baby brother's 30th Birthday today.

Man, I cannot quite understand how this is possible since I'm still 26, but whatevs...it's happened and I must pay him tribute because he is important to me, more than he knows I am sure.

We have had a pretty constant relationship since he was born, mainly because Jared has a very patient and steady personality, like an Elephant, and I would recognize this fact because giant pachyderms are my favourite.

No J, I am not calling you a packy. *sigh*

Anyway, not only has he been an amazing brother, but you would be lucky to be his friend. It's taken me a few years to realize this, but it's true.

I found I was more protective of J growing up and more worried about his safety than I was of my other siblings. I fretted when we went to the pier, that he would fall into the water or a fish would swallow him. I was concerned at shopping malls, that we would lose him for good. (Jared had the tendency to be distracted and not pay attention when our family moved on from one shop to the next, so my fears stemmed from actual events.) He was also awkward and clumsy, I think because he grew so fast at times it took him a while to get his brain coordinated with his body so him toppling over was a possibility. My scariest memory was at one time we lived on a farm that had a well house, and for a year I had a recurring nightmare that my Jared fell down into it and we had to feed him down there forever or worse case he actually drowned!

I wanted to keep him around, he was my buddy.

I don't think we ever had any major fights, even though our personalities are eons apart. I was a spazzy control freak and J was himself. Over the years I have calmed down, especially after conversion, and I have grown to admire my brother for his attitude and loving heart.

He has always been there for me. If he could help me with a task, he did. Sometimes I had to motivate him, sometimes I had to get bitchy with him, but growing up with J has given me the tools to deal with my own son who is much like his Uncle.

Family is extremely important to my brother. He was thrilled to be an Uncle, and as each baby was added he was eager to have a peak. I could post 20 photos of him holding each baby as they joined the clan, but you get the idea. He is nervous around newborns, but likes toddlers.

He cleans up good....

...but he prefers to grow a dead thing on his face. (I think he does it because he knows I dislike it.)

I'm thankful to know such a kindhearted, funny, caring and thoughtful man that J has grown to be.

He raids my kitchen every time he visits, and I still like to pinch his nipples.

Who wouldn't want to squeeze these things?

Corporate Dogma

2012-09-26T16:13:00.000-04:00

Well, seems my days have blended together since the start of our homeschooling adventure for the 6th year now, give or take a few years because who wants to remember that far back into their life? Not me. Instead of writing on my lonely lonely blog, I have been practicing phonics, stimulating creative minds, and doing every other menial task that needs to be done in order for this company to run smoothly and efficiently as best I can knowing that my strength comes not from within but from my Saviour.

Yes, I said company. Go back and read it again if you missed that.

That's what a family is.

A family is a group of people working towards a specific goal, united by the vision of that particular goal by the head of that company, and the manager(s) he designates. It's a pretty orderly and awesome system, and if management is healthy, the company thrives.

Each individual brought in (or in the familial case born into) the company has a role to play, a job to do, yes the responsibility of making an effort to participate to the best of their ability. However they are all employees. In the corporate world sometimes people move up in rank, a floor manager may become an executive, and the executive may one day become the Vice President. Each remain under the authority of another no matter what. To become the CEO or President of a familial corporation, one must be grown, leave His parents and establish his own company. He remains under Christ's Authority and the authorities God has established like the government etc. His shiny new company may look like the corporation he came from, but it is an entire separate entity, much like Canadian Tire and Dairy Queen are two large companies but do very dissimilar things and indeed have very distinct purposes other than the general intent of keeping people coming back to spend money in their stores.

As parents, or the CEO and Vice President, it's our job to motivate and grow and nurture our employees, or children, to be able to one day start their own businesses separate from ours, with the ability to sustain itself.

This is the design of the family, this is beautiful.

What about those people who think that their adult children continue to be affiliated with the original familial corporation, or the adult children themselves are unwilling to leave the tit of the parent corp and do their best to implement or pursued the grown children that they indeed still must apply the former familial motto to their new corporation, which makes the newness of the company invalid and in fact undermines the CEO of the new company? In the business world, men can fire other men, they battle over another infringing on their rights or breaking the rules, but in the familial world what should one do? One can't simply say, "You are no longer my parent," because they are and will remain until death, but the relationship has changed to one that is nothing like the prior relationship once extraction and promotion occurs. That is what new means. New completely replaces the old. The old must necessarily be tossed aside for the new to grow.

If Canadian Tire wanted to start selling ice cream, frozen cakes, and burgers with fries, that would be fine, as long as Dairy Queen didn't start sending letters to Canadian Tire on how each item should be made and presented. Also, if Dairy Queen wanted to open a tire shop and serve delicious ice cream to their guests while they got their tires replaced, this does not give Canadian Tire the responsibility or duty to tell Dairy Queen the most efficient way to do the job. Both may have valid and helpful tips, but after a while wouldn't it seem as if they were interfering with the other company?

Sometimes tips, suggestions, what others may deem encouragements etc *are* appreciated from another CEO and/or Vice President, as it's recognized they have had many years of experience in certain areas, but it doesn't mean backs should go up if their help isn't welcomed. Sometimes the boss loses patience with his employees, as well as other bosses. Somebody may even get fired.

Ultimately, we are ALL accountable to the Big Boss, The Perfect Leader, The Almighty Creator, The Everlasting King, Jesus Christ. Service to Him is and should be at the top of the list of every company; to produce disciples for Him, employees that know they are accountable for every action they do and who are unwilling to compromise the Word of God in order to do it.

This is how our company is run.

I am very thankful for this.

10,000 Reasons This Song Rocks

2012-09-06T11:24:00.001-04:00

We sing this song on a regular basis, and I thought I would share it with you today. I hope it encourages you.

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship you holy name

The sun comes up
Its a new day dawning
Its time to sing your song again
What ever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

You're rich in love and you're slow to anger
Your name is great and your heart is kind
For all your goodness i will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul

Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Soon my soul will sing your praise un-ending
10,000 years and there forever more

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name

Bless the lord oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name (repeat 3x)

Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I worship your holy name (repeat 3x)

Here She Comes To Wreck Your Day

2012-08-31T11:07:00.000-04:00

The last long weekend of the summer is here.

The older I get, the faster the days/weeks/months/years seem to pass, building momentum to my inevitable death. Yippee! As each day approaches, I remind myself to look back at the end of it, this helps me to maintain my sanity.

What did I focus on?
What did I want to accomplish when I woke up?
What did I desire God to accomplish in me? What did I ask Him for?

What actually happened?

I joke about surviving this life, but that is precisely what I am doing. On one hand, I wouldn't trade my role or this Season I am in right now for anything...on the other, GET.ME.OUT.OF.HERE!!!. (Please God!)

I love this career, my family, my friends, and the daily struggles that come my way. Some I love less, but it is all from my Heavenly Father, so how could it be bad? Even the stuff that reveals the sin I need to kill, that is good, because I am not sanctified yet, and knowing it is My Lord who is healing me from my flesh is comforting. His power is astounding!

At the beginning of this Summer Holiday I had so many ideas and plans: family vacations and day trips....finally we would be able to do something as Us, instead of waiting another year because money/time/life didn't allow for us to be able to go very far. (Not fun to travel with babies, and since we did four in very quick succession babies were the only thing taking up my head space for a while.)

But.

Funny thing is, I prepared, but then life happened. Husband got busy with more work, kids were invited to various events, one including a boat; sleepovers; our littlest dog broke his leg....all these happened and before I knew it, I am into the week before School starts back up again.

If I was American, I would be behind already!

However, I am not worried because I culled a lot of my books over the Summer, amazing what man centered crap I had been using that I didn't realize was in fact anti Christ until God opened my eyes to it. I took any free moment I had these past few months to really write out what my goals are with our kids education wise. My Darling Hunk is a huge help and support and excellent with spreadsheets, where I could care less, but his talent and leadership have been so comforting to me.

This is the first school year I feel adequately prepared, and by the end of this year Lord Willing I will have my oldest ready for High School. Originally I had planned on homeschooling him all the way through to graduation, but the resources I have at my fingertips are incredible, and the school district I live in offers scholarships into higher education and honestly it would be irresponsible of me to pass that up. My son is excited to work toward a goal, which keeps things positive all around. Does this mean I don't support homeschooling through high school? Nope. I may with other children, as they grow and mature I will be able to tell what their specific needs and learning methods are, not one individual is the same. I can not expect all my children to fit in the same box, this is unreasonable and foolish. Husband and I realize that each child is unique, and as they change and form, we must be intentional and diligent to observe and adapt to this challenge as parents. My oldest will be 13 next month, but he is nearly ready to face the wolves out there in that big nasty world. Some may be ready at a younger age. Others, well, who knows. I want my children to be dependent on God alone, but until He gives them a New Will I must be content with them being independent.

Do I have all the answers? Nope. I do not expect anyone to follow my advice, only to follow where their inner voice is calling them.

Life is a journey.

You can either fight it the whole way or enjoy the ride because the path you walk is not yours to choose.