Life in Recovery through God

The Generational Curse

2013-01-30T07:21:00.002-08:00

The bible says "the sins of the father will be visited upon the children unto the seventh generation". What an awful scripture! I have been thinking about this topic and how awful it is to think that seven generations could pay the price of one person.

When I think back on my childhood days, my parents did not drink, smoke and our lives centered around God and the church. My Father played in the Church band and he taught me about the word of God from a very young age. I clearly remember my two brothers and sister sitting in the front of the church watching my Dad play the guitar and sing and praise.

My father had a terrible childhood, his Mother (my Grandmother) had been divorced a number of times and had to put her children in an orphanage until she could find her feet again. He landed up at a young age with rheumatic fever, which left him with a heart condition; and as a young teenager he was in a car accident which left him with a brain injury that left him epileptic. He spent 20 years searching for his biological father. He eventually tracked him down and when he met him, his father rejected him outright.

As things unfold, my Mother also had a traumatic childhood. Her Father was very abusive verbally and physically and she married my father at just 16! She had me at 17, which was followed by my three siblings two brothers and a sister.

Looking back, I think our strong family strong involvement in our church kept our family on track. It kept the dysfunctional beast at bay. In recovery I have learnt that the beast never goes away, instead it will patiently wait for some excuse to rear it's ugly head. It will use any excuse possible, like an argument, a wrong doing and any other emotion. It will then lash out and leave a in it's wake a trail of emotional damage.

When I was about 11 my parents were (I now know) trapped by this dysfunctional beast. The church life slid, and the droon of constant arguments, slaming doors became a way of life. I found a coping mechanisim called "ESCAPE".

To Be Contined....

A Blast From the Past (Part 1)

2013-01-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

Has anyone from the past, just popped out of know where?

Well, out of know where, someone from my past appeared in my life after absolute no contact for over 12 years! When I saw this person I was not even sure who she was, then she reminded me who she was. At first it was a feeling of ok....then and no interest from my side at all. I mean the past is in the past surely? But addiction is a cunning thing, soon the friendship started to blossom once more, at first flattering and so friendly in boxes on Face Book the next thing a face to face meeting and then the spark burst, before I knew it I was living in the past 12 years ago, the ego boosted, the feeling of "butterflies flying around" in my stomach...the sudden awakening of the addict had arisen.

However, I knew better and so did she, her life had changed (apparently) she was now reborn and had left the drugs long ago. But, as for the disease it was not in slumber no more unbeknown to me or her I am sure. She was in dire circumstances, her husband had passed away a year or more ago and left no finances for his 7 year old son or her. I could feel her silent cry for help and of course like a fly to a trap, with all the best intentions (or so I thought) started a rescue plan and assisted her with an immediate sum of cash and a position in my company.

I reasoned this person will make a huge success due to her need to make a success of her life. While, from there she became a companion, and enjoyed conversations about the future. Every one in my family got to adore her little son and the rescue plan escalated to dentistry and medication which she could not afford.

In the corner of my mind a old foe had emerged the first step of dysfunction the RESCUER and she had pulled out a card played in life the VICTIM. This "cat and mouse" game started to unfold. For some strange reason I could see the events unfolding, yet it was like free falling faster and faster.

Thanks to previous experience and knowing the outcome which is the drama triangle, I knew my Victim would become my Persecutor and I would soon fall victim to this sticky relationship. So, with lots of restless thought and stress I offloaded and spoke the words enough!

End Part 1

God at work...

2010-09-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Stevi,

I think last night was such an amazing meeting,,,,,when u felt you couldn’t say how bad your week was gave me the confidence to say how I felt cuz I realised we all human and we all have bad times whether you a leader or not and I think you rock as a leader and make it so comfortable for us to just be ourselves and I love you so much stevie,,,,never change your strategy of our meetings becuz when things flow like it did last night is when frieks like me can have their eyes opened and maybe get a kick up the ass from God,which clearly happened.....it was a good release for me to say that I want to annialate my body by cutting it up or overdosing,,,,,,and last night for the first time while praying when I got home I felt more connected to God than I have in a long time,,,,,,,,,,I love you and never change the man that u are,,,,we cant do this without you stevi,,,,,,x

A vision I recieved today...

2010-09-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

“I see the dawning of a new age, an age when humanity will suddenly see their commonalities; the sun shall set on our differences and we shall soon see the face of our Creator that we were previously to blind to see.” Stephen L (19/09/10)

Just for Today

2010-08-29T12:03:00.000-07:00

Just for Today

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem

at once.

I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today, I will be happy.

This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that

"most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.

I will study. I will learn something useful.

I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.

I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways:

I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out.

I will do at least two things I don't want to--just for exercise.

I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it

Just for today, I will be agreeable.

I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit,

not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.

I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax.

During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today, I will be unafraid.

Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe

that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

The Promises of Recovery

2010-08-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

The 12 Promises of Recovery:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.

(1) We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
(2) We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
(3) We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
(4) No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
(5) That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
(6) We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
(7) Self-seeking will slip away.
(8) Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
(9) Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
(10) We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
(11) We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
(12) Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Reminder to meet at Life Church Tonight

2010-08-12T07:23:00.000-07:00

Hi All, we meet at Life Church (Kids Church) behind the church at 6:45 pm tonight, great coffee and snacks to be served as we share another great evening with one another spreading the good news in the light of recovery. Look forward to seeing you all there...

New Venue For Life Recovery Group

2010-07-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

God has blessed our Life Recovery Group meeting since it's humble beginnings a couple of months ago. We have had new comers attending our meeting almost every week, like any other recovery group not every one attends each meeting especially during winter!

It is clear that our home is no longer satiable for hosting the meetings, especially with the amount of children that need to be accommodated as well. I have been praying and given much thought about moving our meeting to a larger venue, many have resisted the idea of moving the meeting from our home. However, I feel that it would not be in the best of interest of the group to keep the meeting at our home and if we kept the meeting as is it would restrict the growth of the meeting . The disturbances are becoming a bigger issue especially with people becoming more open in our meetings as well.

There were some offers to use other members of the group's home and I feel the best suitable venue would be the "kids church" at Life Church, the venue has a cosy atmosphere and small kitchen as well as a games room for kids and plenty of other space for kids to amuse themselves. I have spoken to our pastor Chris and he has given us permission to use the venue from August onwards. I shall be discussing this with you on Thursday and look forward to moving our meeting to this venue. God Bless Stephen

This Too Shall Pass

2010-07-18T00:54:00.000-07:00

Let nothing Disturb thee,

Let nothing Dismay thee -

all things Pass.

God never Changes

Patience allains

all that it strives for,

He who has God

finds he lacks nothing.

God alone suffices!

The Power of the Holy Spirit

2010-06-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

Our latest topic is "The Power of the Holy Spirit"

In recovery we have learnt that we could not recover by our power alone we found a power a greater than ourselves God. God gives us access to his power through the Holy Spirit, as Christians in recovery we know that God transforms our lives from the inside out through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Over the next few months we will learn how to access the power of the Holy Spirit and study the book of Acts.

God is great....

2010-06-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Just, some news about the Life Recovery group. When the group was formed a few months back, there was a lot of uncertainty and insecurity as to the group's survival. At one stage, I questioned if it was God's will for the group to continue. Then I stumbled upon a video on "you tube" about Reformers Unanimous (this is on the about us page).

God showed me this vision for our humble Life Recovery Group. Since then we have had all sorts of personality problems and disruptive events, yet these have failed to derail the group. Instead they have helped us to grow stronger.

I have continued to pray and surrender the group to God. I pray before each meeting God if it is your will, my home is open to you and so are we (Linda & I). It has been amazing to watch God bringing new people to the group. At every meeting new members arrive, it seems that we have now outgrown our home. Soon we will need to find a larger venue. I trust as we continue to surrender our lives and the group over to God, his Holy Spirit will come upon us and he will do for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Praise be to God!

Bondage to the Past (Part 8)

2010-05-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

Part 8: Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: Ephesians Chapter 6:13-18

Topic: The Whole Armour of God

Outcome: To protect ourselves using the armour of God from spiritual forces that wish to
destroy us.

Introduction:

In active addiction we could not manage our own lives our whole life was centered around the use of drugs or the person using drugs or alcohol. We knew that we were committing suicide slowly, yet we lacked the willpower to do anything about it. Addiction enslaved us and we became prisoners of our own minds plagued by guilt and fear. In recovery we learnt that we suffer from a progressive disease that is cunning baffling powerful and without help from a power greater than ourselves there was no hope and the ends were always the same jails, institutions or death. As Christians in recovery we have come to realize that the power greater than ourselves is God and through Christ is our hope and salvation. He frees us from the chains of our past.

This scripture 1 Peter 5:6-11 really means a lot to me about the battle we face.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know your brothers (and sisters) through out the world are undergoing the same sort of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in a while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever Amen

Points to bear in mind from this scripture:

1. That we must be humble (many of us were humbled by experiencing a rock bottom)
2. We need to cast all our worries onto him (Step 3)
3. We need to be self controlled and alert (by living a program of recovery)
4. We need to realize that our disease (or devil) wants to destroy us
5. We know that we are not alone and need to support one another
6. That God will in time restore our lives if we stand in faith
7. That we do not have the power to recover on our own. Only God has the power to
Free us from the bondage in our lives.

We know that our battle is not against flesh and blood but against unseen powers as described in Ephesians 6:11-12. To protect ourselves from these spiritual forces God gives us the tools to defend ourselves the Whole Armor of God – Ephesians 6:13.

The Armor of God:

1. The Belt of Truth (Honesty)
2. The Breast Plate of Righteousness (Living a life right with God)
3. Shoes of Peace (Serenity that comes from God’s Word)
4. The Shield of Faith (Confidence of what we hope will happen) Heb.11
5. The Helmet of Salvation (Accepting Jesus as your personal Savior)
6. The Sword of the Spirit (The word of God)

Bondage to the Past (Part 7)

2010-05-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

Part 7: Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: Ephesians Chapter 5:21-33 and 6:1-9

Topic: Spirit Guided Relationships

Outcomes: Develop functional relationships in our families, church and others

God created perfect order in the universe and on earth. The earth rotates at a set speed giving us day and night. The earths orbit gives us four perfect seasons all necessary to sustain life. Everything in creation lives according to God’s order. God in a sense stands for Good Orderly Direction. God intended us to have order in our relationships too. Rebelling against God’s order in our relationships brings dysfunction which is handed down to the next generation. We must understand that the enemy wants to destroy families. In the 21st Century it is the family that is under attack. There are more divorces now than ever before, and tragedy in the family leaves behind victims who often find relief in addiction later on in life. Dysfunctional families breed dysfunctional children.

1. Go back to your childhood. What was the relationship like between your parents? Did they live
their lives according to God’s order?

God’s Family Order:

God is the centre
Christ is the head of the church (Eph.5:24)
Husbands are the head of the family (Eph. 5:23)
Wives (Eph.5:22)
Children (Eph. 6:1-3)

(all of the above is interwoven with love)

If we adopt God’s order in our relationships we will create functional loving relationships which will break the chains of bondage that we carry into our relationships.

2. Discuss God’s order in our personal lives and how we can adopt his order into our lives.

Bondage to the Past (Part 6)

2010-03-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

Life Recovery Group

Topic:

Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: The Book of Ephesians

God desires recovery for us, and He has a plan for each of us since the beginning of time. His plan does not include bondage to sin or the past

(Please ensure your Cell Phone is switched off)

Part 6: Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: Ephesians Chapter 5:15-20

Living by the Spirits Power

What we are going to cover:

1. Think, Think, Think
2. Understand what God wants
3. Tapping into the Holy Spirit’s power
4. Attitude of Gratitude

1. Think, Think, Think (Eph.5:15,16)

Compulsion is one of our biggest defects. We seem to do things without thinking and then have to pay the price later. Paul urges us to be careful the way we live and not to live like fools. Normally what causes foolish behaviour is doing things without thinking first. The slogan “Think, Think, Think” can be applied before we act. This could save us from slipping or doing things we will regret later.

What are some of the foolish things you did this week without thinking?

2. Understanding what God wants (Eph.5:17)

God loves us and only wants the best for us when we act thoughtlessly we disregard what God wants.

How can we understand what go wants us to do?

3. Tapping into the Holy Spirit’s Power (Eph. 5:18,19)

Paul says do not get drunk as this will ruin your life. Many of us have learnt that these words are true even though they were written almost 2000 years ago. Paul says rather full your life with the Holy Sprit (not alcohol spiritsJ).

How can we tap into the Holy Spirit power?

4. Attitude of Gratitude (Eph. 5:20)

Bondage to the Past (Part 5)

2010-03-11T07:59:00.000-08:00

Life Recovery Group

Topic:

Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: The Book of Ephesians

God desires recovery for us, and He has a plan for each of us since the beginning of time. His plan does not include bondage to sin or the past

Part 5: Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: Ephesians Chapter 5:1-14

Living in the Light

What we are going to cover tonight:

1. Eph. 5:1 – Imitating God in everything we do
2. Eph. 5:2 – Living without sin and excusing sin in our lives

Read and discuss footnote Life Recovery Bible 5:1-7 (page 1514)

In recovery we are told to follow God’s example in all we do. God wants us to be like Jesus in the way we live our life. Paul says that we should avoid sin in our lives and live according to the scriptures. This is a tall order and it is impossible to do this with out God’s power.

By living the twelve steps and taking the necessary effort we can begin our journey in striving to become more like Christ. Baggage from the past will get in our way therefore we need to rebuild broken relationships, avoid destructive behavior, admit our wrongs, make amends and stay in relationship with our Father in Heaven.

Step 11 – Gods Power

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for his will for us and the power to carry that out.

Without God’s power in our lives it is impossible to live in the Light.

Next week….

Living by the Spirit’s Power Eph.5:15-19

Part 4: Bondage to the Past

2010-03-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

Life Recovery Group

Theme for the month of February:

Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: The Book of Ephesians

God desires recovery for us, and He has a plan for each of us since the beginning of time. His plan does not include bondage to sin or the past

Part 4: Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: Ephesians 4:17 – 31 “Living as Children of Light”

“Children who have been victimized by “Poisonous Parenting” identify with their abusing parents and re-enact the same abuse on their children by adhering to their parent’s way of parenting. Traumatic bonding and identification with the abuser explain the multi generational carrying of diseased attitudes.”

The Bible says the sins of the parents shall be handed down to the next generation.

1. The root cause, for the majority of people who suffer from addictions, alcoholism, eating disorders, and
     co-dependency is a result of the Poisonous Pedagogy handed down to us through dysfunctional families.

How can you identify with this?

This bondage carried in our adult life causes us to behave in the same way Paul describes the Gentiles.
                                                                   (Eph. 4:17-19)

2. To break the bondage we need to (Ephesians 4:22) throw off our old sinful nature and our former way of
     life. Instead we need to (Ephesians 4:23-24) change our old way of living. We need to practice the
     twelve steps, stay away from old friends, places and things, and instead find a new way of life, putting
     God first and using our gifts to serve Him.

3. Honesty – (Eph. 4:25-29)

The bondage in our lives caused us to be dishonest about the way we felt, what we did or did not do, and denial about our problems. When we find recovery and throw off our old sinful natures we learn to become honest with ourselves and the people around us.

4. Continued to live a life in recovery by practicing these truths in all our affairs and living in the light of
    recovery as children in the light. (Eph. 4:30)

5. Resentment is the number offender! (Eph.4:31) This is a luxury that we cannot afford. It leads to our
    destruction and old way of life.

Attendance: 5 & 2 apologies

Life Recovery Group, Bondage to the Past (Part 3)

2010-02-18T11:35:00.000-08:00

Life Recovery Group

Theme for the month of February:

Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: The Book of Ephesians

God desires recovery for us and has a plan for each of us since the beginning of time. His plan does not include bondage to sin or the past

Part 3: Bondage to the Past

Ephesians 4:1 - 16

Paul, at the time of writing this letter is sitting in Jail. Notice his concern is not his suffering but for the Christian faith. Addicts in any shape or form always have one thing in common and that is “self centeredness”. We are normally so wrapped up in what is going on in our lives that we become totally blind to the people around us. In Ephesians 4:1 Paul begged that you live a life worthy of your calling. (Philippians 1:7-13)

1. Do you know what your calling is?

In our addictions we were not only self centred but many of us were arrogant, loud, judgemental, dishonest and full of bitterness and anger. It felt like the world was against us including God. Many of us only changed our attitudes by hitting rock bottom, in a sense being humbled by God.

Paul then pleads that we will always be humble, gentle, and patient and make allowances for others faults. When we focus outwards we can easily place principles before personalities and show love for one another.

2. Have you been gentle, humble, patient and forgiving with people around you this week?

In Ephesians 4:7 Paul speaks about the special gifts God has given us.

(Romans 12:3 and 1 Corinthians 12:7)

Further (Ephesians 16) Paul refers to the Body and the parts that fit together perfectly.
The Body Paul is referring to is The Church (Colossians 2:19) and the parts are the believers. Each believer needs to use the unique gifts that God gave to them to serve in the body of Christ, which is the Church.

In recovery there is a saying service keeps you clean.

3. In what ways are you using your gifts to serve God?

Home Work: Find where you can be of service by using the gifts that God gave you.

Present: 5

Bondage to the Past (Part Two)

2010-02-18T05:09:00.000-08:00

Life Recovery Group

Theme for the month of February:

Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: The Book of Ephesians

God desires recovery for us and has a plan for each of us since the beginning of time. His plan does not include bondage to sin or the past

Part 2: Bondage to the Past

Bondage to our past lives, habits, addictions can only be broken through the "gift" God has for us. We covered this gift last week (Ephesians 2:8).

1. Paul in Ephesians 3:12 says through Christ and Faith can we boldly come into God’s presence.
What do you think Paul means by “boldly come into God’s presence”?

2. Spiritual Growth Not Spiritual Perfection…

Many people are put off by “perfect” Christians. The reality is no one is perfect! As Christians in recovery we need to humbly seek God’s resources to grow us in our relationship with him on a daily basis. Paul’s prayer is for God’s spirit to empower us (Ephesians 3:16). This means that in recovery we can’t find the strength to cope with our bondage. Only through God can we find our strength to cope with our lives.

In what ways has God’s spirit given you the strength to recover?

3. Who will make his home in you? (Ephesians 3:17)

We do not like to wait for things. We want things now and if something does not happen now, it causes us to be angry or depressed. Our relationship with Christ needs time grow and with this growth we can begin to understand God’s love for us.

Is Christ living in your heart?

In what ways are you learning to trust God?

3. In our bondage we were constantly seeking fulfillment, we tried many things to fill our lives with. Some of us used food, drugs or alcohol others money, sex or controlling relationships.

What can make us complete without this feeling in our lives? (Ephesians 3:19)

Total Attendance: 9

Theme for Febuary

2010-02-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

Bondage to the Past

Scripture Study: The Book of Ephesians

God desires recovery for us and has a plan for each of us since the beginning of time. His plan does not include bondage to sin or the past.

Reading: Ephesians 1-3

1. Since when did God love us and what is his plan for us? (Eph 1:4-6)

It is overwhelming to think God had a plan for each and every one of us before creation. Many of us come from homes that used God in a negative manner, or we may have just gone off track running from God's love for us. It is important to realize that God planned each one of us and he has a plan for our lives which does not include bondage to addiction or sin.

2. What is God’s mysterious plan? (Eph 1;9-11)

God's mysterious plan was sending his Son to live a life on this earth. Jesus represents God in a human form. Jesus lived a life on earth were he was tempted by sin by Lucifier himself. He faced many trials and hardships yet he remained focused on God. By his blood shed for us we are able to be seen without fault in God's eyes when we accept Jesus Christ to be our personal saviour and allow him to wash our sins away and following his will for us. God's mysterious plan was to send his son to die for us so that we may have access to God our Father.

3. What do you think Paul meant by his prayer “flooded with light”? (Eph.1:16)

Paul's wish in his prayer was that the Church could be enlightned by God's plan for us. We have often heard someone say "when is he going to see the light?". In bondage we cannot see the "light" as we are dead in spirit. We are blinded by the layers of denial that keep us in bondage. When we accept Jesus into our lives our spirit becomes renewed and all of sudden we can see the "light" that Paul is praying for and the light is the hope of this world without there is no light.

4. When we are bound to sin or the past we are what according to God? (Eph.2:1-3)

According to this scripture we were dead, not physically (yet) but spirutually dead. In recovery we know that the bondage in our lives causes us to die. We've heard our ends are always the same Jails, Institutions and Death. Most of us were close to death in body before we came into recovery and for certain we were spiritually dead.

5. What can save us from our sin and past? (Eph.2:8-10)

Accepting Jesus Christ into our lives and confessing our sin and asking his forgiveness. Through the blood of Jesus we are saved and set free from our past sins by repentance and His grace. It is only through God's Grace that we are saved and this cannot be done by us or our will power. It is a gift from God and all we need to do is accept it.