tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79292592024-01-31T03:36:34.813-05:00How the world looks like in the eyes of one mean, green, testy pea!!!testypeahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1105373951713384172005-01-08T22:37:00.000-05:002005-01-10T11:19:11.713-05:00

It’s my third day in this 54-hole golf resort hotel. I’m already having second thoughts already. This morning one of the rooms in the ground floor called because there was a snake in their bathroom. Don’t ask me how big or what kind it was because I didn’t go. My boss BB (stands for little brown boy) did though. From what I heard, BB walked in and then there was a few seconds of screaming and

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1105373700534037192005-01-07T19:22:00.000-05:002005-01-10T11:22:22.263-05:00

So I’ve started my new job in the Housekeeping Department in an overseas hotel. Honestly I don’t have much experience in this area. What little experience I do have would comprise of cleaning a few student dorm rooms for a couple of weeks (mostly my own) and watching Maid In Manhattan more times than any sane and insane person combined. Bnot that there were a lot of people who watched that film

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1104175611238670552004-12-26T14:16:00.000-05:002004-12-27T14:50:12.353-05:00

I did something curious today. I was helping a friend move to her new flat this afternoon and I’m not sure if it was because of the heating or the exercise or the forty pounds I gained over the weekend, but shortly after we began I started to sweat. So halfway up the stairway I decided to remove my sweater - without stopping of course, and I guess you can now see where this is going… I got it off

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1103728589066309782004-12-22T21:37:00.000-05:002004-12-22T14:42:12.846-05:00

Most camp stories you hear are pleasant and fun, bringing us back to the good old days we all miss. This is not one of those stories. A word of warning, it would be best to skip this post if you are the type of person that’s easily offended – or actually, have ever been offended by anything in your entire life because I'm pretty sure that this will do it for you – not that I derive secret joys in

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1103320371941717462004-12-17T17:47:00.000-05:002004-12-17T16:56:30.713-05:00

So I was telling my friend Edric how impressed I was of his friend Ryan for actually getting out of his car and walking me to the door last night when he dropped me off: me: I wonder if he does that to everyone… Edric: Heck no! me: *feeling all fuzzy and special* Edric: He probably does it as much as I do. me: You?!? You just sit and wait in the car. Edric: Naww, I’ve done the walk. It just

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1103314267241798022004-12-16T21:06:00.000-05:002004-12-17T15:13:10.096-05:00

My cousin has a son. The son's birthday is in five days. Today son asks for a party. Thirty-two hobbits must be invited. I was 'asked' to help. Peer pressure was involved. Testypea is frazzled. Testypea is pissed. I am responsible for the entertainment. Therefore entertainment is this. ...or should I stick with Ronald instead?

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1103136941270144372004-12-15T10:53:00.000-05:002004-12-15T14:05:52.760-05:00

"The smell of his armpits was on her shoulders -- a flower depositing pollen on a hummingbird's forehead..." "Slither slither slither slither went the tongue..." Meet the 2004 winner of The British Bad Sex Award, Tom Wolfe.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1102960306579722432004-12-13T14:36:00.000-05:002004-12-13T14:33:02.486-05:00

I'm not the type of person who's fond of collecting loads and loads of friends. In fact I like to choose my chums with caution and care, screening out the overly hairy ones and weeding out those who are smarter and/or can run faster than me -- the latter for precautionary measures mostly. This easily eliminates most humans and animals - but not entirely of course, thus leaving me with a small

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1102697750115854592004-12-10T11:39:00.000-05:002004-12-11T06:21:48.076-05:00

Have you ever witnessed the true wrath of an angry chicken?

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1102246978581224892004-12-05T09:15:00.000-05:002004-12-05T11:46:41.303-05:00

While I have yet to take any of it's recommendation, I do cherish its snarky tones and caustic humor. Kinda reminds me of Andy Dick actually... if you play with it long enough, it'll eventually grow on you.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1102099826117301292004-12-03T13:28:00.000-05:002004-12-04T04:22:16.936-05:00

Gotcha! Bet that got your complete attention you dirty little pervert. Teeheee! Sorry, couldn't help it, heh - or maybe I could. Hmm... Moving on to a more serious note though. If you're one of my two loyal readers -- okay three, if you count my mom, who's been with me since the beginning, then you would have read a previous post I made about blogging less in the near future. Well, that future

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101899957259340652004-12-01T11:49:00.000-05:002004-12-01T06:23:31.050-05:00

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me... Oooo I'm so excited I can't wait! And as much as I like the variety, I have a feeling I'll only be using three of them - repeatedly.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101804592695406812004-11-30T08:26:00.000-05:002004-11-30T09:30:22.806-05:00

A short documentary on the etymology of FUCK.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101730793201022782004-11-29T14:07:00.000-05:002004-11-29T09:44:15.236-05:00

Seriously though... 1. Does this look tasty? 2. Would you feed it to your kids? 3. Does it look trendy? 4. If you were a straight man, would you be drinking this? ... in public?

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101591842044339332004-11-28T09:54:00.000-05:002004-11-27T16:52:32.506-05:00

It apparently brought this bridge to its knees.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101588446476721902004-11-27T22:23:00.000-05:002004-12-01T13:33:51.116-05:00

This exact day many many years ago was the day I was born. To mark this unfortunate event, my family brought me to this suspiciously ghetto restaurant for dinner. One of the things that bothered right off the bat were the green ‘recycle’ signs proudly emblazoned on the table napkins. I mean, what’s that all about? A reminder for me so that everytime I wipe my mouth and see a dark greenish fleck

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101350868485579132004-11-24T22:12:00.001-05:002004-11-24T23:14:43.206-05:00

Ever wanted to adopt your very own virtual bartender? She comes with a very interesting skill set, try the following commands: do you have a light, fight, kiss, make change, show your thong, pour beer, love, spread, strip and play.

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101347986180953692004-11-23T20:21:00.000-05:002004-11-24T20:59:46.180-05:00

This has got to be the most obscene Santa I've ever met.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1101069573243432112004-11-20T15:14:00.000-05:002004-11-21T15:40:42.900-05:00

Whoa! I've outdone myself this time, didn't know I was worth that much! Do I hear any takers? ...anyone? ...at all? ...no interest! ...please? In case you wanna know how much you're worth yourself, click here.

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1100726133294026402004-11-17T20:39:00.000-05:002004-11-17T16:38:48.850-05:00

My apologies for the lack of posts these days. You see I’ve been busy – trying to escape from chores and work mostly, but apart from that, the mood really hasn’t stiked me of late. I have heard that for some people, ideas come in the shower whilst shampooing those last three strands of hair, scrubbing them spongey butts, and feeling those three boobies for lumps of undigested food. So it’s really

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1100299095275902922004-11-14T23:49:00.000-05:002004-11-13T12:59:43.763-05:00

I’m back posting on the dates of the 7th to the 9th, for two reasons really, firstly, I did intend to post at the time, except all this crap came up and I had to prioritize my time between casting evil dark spells and blog posting. Secondly, this was what I was playing then, so might as well show y’all what I've been up to. But having said that, I do realize that not all my readers -- yeah,

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1100205174763882892004-11-11T22:54:00.000-05:002004-11-11T15:35:50.863-05:00

So recently I've noticed a steady stream of low ratings on my site. I don't need to see the actuall know they are 1's, all coming from the pointy-eared army of little miss whiny and her daddy. Let me just say this. You can give me all the 1's you want, if that makes you feel better, but they really don't mean much to me, just like the pity 10 ratings you're getting out of begging. I am proud to

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1100109165559843322004-11-10T11:34:00.000-05:002004-11-16T11:57:28.933-05:00

I'm currently in a middle of a tiff with another blogger here in BE. If you are coming from her site from a link she has posted then you know who I'm talking about. I have tried my best to restrain myself from writing about this, but it has gone far enough. Recently I rated someone's blog a 1, meaning I found the blog not only boring, but borederline bulimic. I don't usually rate sites - and who

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1100895418368063532004-11-09T22:32:00.000-05:002004-11-20T16:30:00.503-05:00

The following day everyone was up well before five. They’ve burned down all their grillers – including the one they borrowed from the Goths, so today Posy was assigned the task of buying new ones for the operation. While Post made the long drive to Walmart Jacko started making breakfast. Jacko is back on oats. For one brief shining moment this morning he was under 150 lbs, but then he was also

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929259.post-1100457119758568422004-11-08T23:09:00.000-05:002004-11-14T16:58:27.463-05:00

Peepee has been restless the past couple of nights, they think he’s having nightmares, but it’s hard to understand why this would happen considering that he’s doted with limitless attention during the day. In fact, he spent the entire day yesterday with Jacko. In the morning they went to visit the carnival and saw two-headed sheeps and a reptilian-skinned woman, how fun is that! And in the

Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08840387067970691038noreply@blogger.com