Senator Richard Burr
217 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Senator Kay Hagan
521 Dirksen Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

Representative David Price
U.S. House of Representatives
2162 Rayburn Building
Washington, DC 20515

Dear Senator Burr, Senator Hagan and Representative Price:

I understand that you all are in the midst of important budgetary discussions for continuing this fiscal year and for the next one. I do not want you take this letter as a call for the status quo, or for a call for us not to reexamine the way we fund defense, other agencies and how we fund and what cuts are needed to entitlement programs. These are important discussions we need to have, and while difficult, they need to be addressed rationally. At the same time, there are many policy riders and issues that should not be a part of this debate as their importance to actual budgetary problems is miniscule there are a few things that I would like you, my elected representatives to know my stance on as these items come up for debate again.

1) Planned Parenthood

Planned Parenthood, whose name is culturally tied to the abortion debate, offers a lot more then low cost abortions.

While the abortion debate may not be able to be solved today, as there is little to know middle ground on the extremes on either side, most Americas stand in favor of some constraints on extremely late term abortion unless the life of the mother is at stake. Most of us realize this is a complex issue, one that will not be solved easily. There are health reasons to get abortions, there are religious reasons not to. Abortions, in some form or another have been around since the beginning of time, and they will continue to be, even if they were made illegal they would continue and we would return to conditions where people desperate for this risk their lives. It is a private decision.

Regardless, no federal money goes to fund abortions done at Planned Parenthood. It goes to education. To screen women’s health (and men’s) for those who either can’t afford insurance, don’t have access to reproductive health insurance, or don’t have doctors available to them on their plan or in their locality. It teaches reproductive issues, health issues, and educates, it covers contraception for teens scared to see their parents. In short it addresses a need in society, and the federal dollars don’t support the controversial portion of the mission (for better written information see this site).

To claim that all money is fungible opens up a lot of other issues for debate. For example – we fund certain religiously affiliated institutions for charities, school lunches, scientific research, etc. The money is specifically not to be used for religious teaching, but if all money is fungible isn’t it being done so; doesn’t’ this raise issues. All sides can, I am sure, point to a many examples like this, why not avoid the argument in the future, acknowledge the good Planned Parenthood does, and continue to fund it, with the restriction on abortion in place for years remaining in place.

2) Funding for the Arts and NPR

Studies have shown that the arts enrich us, they lead to innovation, and I even recall one that said that countries that stop funding the arts in support of defense are on the road to collapse (I believe it was focused on Rome). All of this may be true. It may also be true that promotion of the arts leads to tourism, and other forms of spending money that lead to other economic gains (For example see here for a piece on arts and crime rates see here). Even so there are other reasons to support the arts.

The arts, and arts education, enrich and reflect us. By this I mean contemporary arts preserve our culture for the future, while exposing it back to others and ourselves around the world. They reflect the communities we live in the, the people we are and our values as well as our challenges. Arts offer tangible rallying points in times of hardships, as people look to symbols of ourselves to cling to, and and they challenge us to live up to the values we aspire to and to examine what those values are. As one professor I had in college put it, when describing how art can move us, Norman Rockwell a sentimental painter who depicted our values as we wanted them to be, also challenges us and reflected problems back to us in ways that make avoiding issues no longer possible (see for example his Murder in Mississippi (Sothern Justice) done after the murders of three civil rights workers in 1965 or his The Problem We all Live With a picture, unlike many contemporaneous photographs, told from the height of the six year old girl being escorted to school in New Orleans by police due to fears of violence as desegregation was ordered).

Arts challenge us and they open us to new perspectives. A play by Shakespeare, a poetry slam, modern music they all tell who we are, who we were, and expose us to new viewpoints. Without the arts this dialogue may be lost, and without arts education it surely will be. While I agree that arts funding should go to all forms of political dialogue, it should not be limited to just those, or to just high art or just to the NEA, promoting and supporting the arts is important to a vibrant society, and this should be done federally, state wide, locally, corporately and individually. An active arts scene is paramount to have a functioning democracy.

As for NPR – it provides more in-depth reporting then most private news organizations can afford to. Its arts and cultural reporting are vital, and local coverage for weather, traffic and news is unbiased and necessary. I have driven through areas of the South where NPR is only news radio I can find, and without federal funding, those communities would lose it entirely. Thus losing access to great, mostly unbiased reporting (regardless of their private opinions) and access to the world. This is a service, like the arts that is promotes our culture to ourselves and to the world – and one which we must support.

3) Cuts in Environmental Regulations

Unlike the previous two examples, I am not going to go to far in depth here. The environment is being harmed; science has proven this. Businesses, to their credit, are typically out to maximize their own profit, but sometimes this maximization comes at the harm of future generations. Regulation helps to check this, allowing them to maximize profits while hurting us less. This is good for all. Without the EPA and its air quality regulations, I for one would be unable to breathe as I learned during a trip abroad to a city without similar air regulations. All individuals deserve the right to breathe, drink clean water and go outside without being harmed by pollutants. Right now we mostly can let’s keep it that way.

This is an issue that affects us, and affects the world. We need incentives to
reduce consumption; we need to work with other countries for standards and protocols and to help the whole world thrive in harmony. Part of this includes eliminating our current farm subsidy program, cutting back on major agriculture fertilizers, and increasing mileage per gallon. Other parts are retrofitting older homes, reducing and reusing. All agencies of the government have work to do.

There are areas here that, I am sure are redundant; others that may be right for budget cuts, but hamstringing the EPA when it works to counterbalance problems that harm the health and safety of us all I s not the solution. This one is pure common sense – regulate to help the future.

4) Foreign Aid

Foreign aid comprises a tiny portion of the budget – and yet its affect is massive. We promote humanitarian causes that save lives and promote basic health and hygiene aboard. We respond, as most people in America want us to, to disasters abroad like the Haitian Earthquake or the Japanese Tsunami. Not only do these reflect our values of aiding others and promoting human rights around the world and respecting our common humanity but also these programs help to build good will. This good will is sorely needed when we face so much turbulence abroad. The aid work we do in areas like Pakistan and Afghanistan aids our military mission there and good will around the world in general aids our national security.

Again, of course there are bureaucratic inefficiencies, redundancies and the like, and these should be rooted out – but the overall funding should not be reduced. The money can be used to father the mission, our values, and safety and promote our culture and good name worldwide.

5) A Balanced Budget Amendment

This is an issue that sounds great in a sound bite but is unrealistic. While I know we need to respond to the current crisis, and reduce spending while increasing revenue (hard for someone who thinks taxation is high already to admit, though there are many, many corporate loopholes) a balanced budget amendment hamstrings us too much in the future (for more on the current budget proposals see here). We do not know what, if any crisis will arise in the future – but we need to have the flexibility to respond to it, and unfortunately that may mean debts. That may mean we spend more then we take in, while also having to pay off old debts and fund other areas of government. We should work to reduce the deficit, pay as we go, and all but do so without a modification to the Constitution in this instance.

6) A Taxpayer Receipt.

I recently used the Third Way’s taxpayer receipt, which attempts to show how much various federal programs and agencies get of what I paid this year per dollar. This was enlightening, to me, and I follow politics closely. I think that if people had a sense of the proportional spending, it may make the debate more about the real problems and issues and less about these small policy programs, like NPR, foreign aid, and Planned Parenthood who make up a minuscule portion of the budget (for more on this see here).

Recently, amidst all of the Martin Luther King Day tributes on Facebook, I came across one that purported to be in the spirit of this man’s wishes.  It was one of the more disturbing things I have ever read, full of half trust and misunderstood facts causing the person and her research to sound believable to those not informed on this particular issue.  Predictably, this status update, and the comments that followed it, touched on race, and less predictably on abortion.  Unlike Rick Santorum, this person did not try to appeal to reason, however flawed his argument.[2] Instead this person, much like Sarah Palin apparently did with feminist authors in her latest book, distorted historical quotes and facts, in order to back her opinion (for a great take down of Palin’s misunderstanding of the early Feminists see “How Palin Flunks Feminism” by Michelle Goldberg on The Daily Beast here).  As Goldberg notes, Palin, and many others look Margaret Sanger as a proponent of eugenics, and extrapolate from that that her creation, Planned Parenthood is part of a plot to rid America of African Americans.

This status update starts and concludes with a bunch of facts and attributions, which in her mind go to prove that abortion toady is linked closely to eugenics.  These facts, which for the purpose of this piece I will accept, without doing my own research include the idea that school based Planned parenthoods are only in minority schools, that African-Americans are 12% of the population but 38% of the abortions, that blacks are three times more likely to have abortions then whites, and finally that 15 million blacks have been aborted and 1300 are aborted daily, that 78% of Planned parenthoods are in black communities. Mixed in are three fact not related to race – namely that 80% of babies with down syndrome are aborted, that the drug company that invited Zyklon B a drug used by Nazis to gas Jews invented RU-486 the abortion pill and that there are 45% more sterilizations among African Americans then among white women.  [3]

Daniel Patrick Moynihan has a great quote attributed to him “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.”  There should be a corollary – the facts have to be understood in context and cannot be pulled out of the blue to support opinions without regards to reality.  This was a tactic employed in the past with some success by participants of both parties, and it is sad to see conservatives are still attempting to pull the wool over peoples’ eyes by using statistics and quotes to give untenable statements a veneer of authority.

Given this quote – let’s examine these same facts from a different perspective, one that does not seek to prove that Planned Parenthood is part of a eugenic plot to get rid of African – Americans.  What if instead these statics, again operating under the assumption that they are true, reflect a variety of socio-economic realities?  For example, not as many people in poorer communities have access to the excellent health insurance that I do that allows me to prevent pregnancy.  Therefore there is a greater chance that an unplanned pregnancy will happen.  Planned Parenthood, which offers affordable abortions without insurance, or an appointment with an OBGYN, makes sense for those whose insurance does not cover the procedure, or who may not have insurance at all.  A person who has insurance may be more likely to go to their doctor and may have less need of a clinic like Planned Parenthood.

If this theory is correct the status quoted have less to do with eugenics, then where the service is needed, my guess is statically there are more Planned Parenthoods in depressed urban areas and poor rural ones then upper class suburbs.  If this is true, then may the stats have less to do with perceived race, but economic realties, and therefore might then the stats simply reflect placing a clinic where it is most likely to be used in obtaining a legal service.

More troubling then these stats are the quotations attributed to Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, and therefore carry the tacit implication that those who advocate for abortion rights today agree with the statements.  First of all, while Sanger did advocate for a type of eugenics, as did many of her time, she also advocated for all races, and partnered with W.E.B. DuBuois to open Planned Parenthood in Harlem.  This does not ameliorate her call for eugenically actions against those less intelligent, but her position while nauseating today was not unique in its time and we cannot expect historical figures to complete be uninflected by the times they lived in, even as they help them progress towards the society we have today.  Sanger was admired by those who worked for Civil Rights and against Poverty in the 1960s, including the Rev. Martin Luther King.

Yet even if Sanger were, as is implied in the updates, creating Planned Parenthood to rid the world of minorities this makes two assumptions that seem ludicrous.  It implies that those who work at and run Planed Parenthood today are racists who are following this same path, generations after Sanger’s death.  In going to the Planned Parenthood website today, the Vice President of Medical Affairs is an African American woman, it does not seem likely she is advocating for the destruction of her people, as opposed to safe medical procedures for those who take advantage of a legal service. (As opposed to back ally abortions, or the horrific unsterile clinics such as the one recently in the news from PA).  IT also makes the assumption that it will be successful – and therefore that eventually for Planned Parenthood to succeed in its mission, and minorities, especially African-Americans, will eventually undergo abortions rather then reproduce.  When no one is being forced to have abortions, many chose, as evidenced by the stats quoted, to have their baby. This may be for moral or religious reasons, others, shocking as it may sound may have planned and wanted the baby.  In other words, many if not most people will chose to have their children.

Additionally we all must remember in this debate that Planned Parenthood does much more then provide abortions. According to a Politico article “Planned Parenthood estimates it received a quarter of the $317 million in Title X funds appropriated last year. They use the money for pelvic exams, breast exams, safer-sex counseling and basic infertility counseling, among other things.” These health tests, including annual physicals, are affordable and available to those who may not have insurance or a doctor. To imply that all Planned Parenthood does is offer abortions is wrong. It’s mission also includes advocacy about sexual health and educational outreach.

I am trying hard to not judge either side of the abortion debate as I write this.  It is hard, as I am firmly pro-choice, but I respect that this woman has a right to believe that abortion should not be legal, and while I am dismayed that abortion is becoming the topic detour of the Right again, I hope that it can be based on facts, not on misleading science on fetus and pain, life out of the womb or wrongful interoperation of history.[4]

What she does not have a right to do is use facts to create impressions of racism in current abortion providers.  She does not have the right to mistake socio-economic causes for the abolition increase in minorities with a desire for eugenics.  She does not have the right to conflate the implied thoughts of people who lived decades ago with those who run organizations today, otherwise we would have to assume that all who run institutions today believe in all the ideals of its founders, regardless of their statements to the contrary or the changing of the times.

What she, Palin (at least according to the implication in Goldberg’s piece) and Santorum in a different way are attempting to do is link the pro-life side with the cause of civil rights, making all others racists.  This is dissentious and morally wrong.  It conflates to unrelated issues, and inflames tempers.  By using coloring facts and shading arguments, conflating timelines, she creates a situation in which the lazy or uneducated become soldiers in a cause, but only because they were feed untruths.

Racial issues and abortion are two political issues almost guaranteed to have inflamed debates.  The abortion issues is one where people are philosophically unlikely to ever come to a consensus – hopefully we will one day agree to disagree, but if one side truly sees it as murder this is unlikely.

Today, we can barely have a civil dialogue on how much racism is part of today’s society as opposed to a socio-economic culture of oppression on lower classes.  What we have seemed to agree on is it is irresponsible to call someone a racist who is not one.  Similarly to make issues about race and eugenics when it is not makes it impossible to have an honest discussion about the facts and issues that lead people to seek abortions in the first place.  Instead, it will make the issues more heated, more incendiary and cause those on each side of the issue to feel to conflate already heated issues into a cultural war of the highest order.  The debate is bad enough now – but can you imagine it when it is racist baby-killers vs. illiterate and crazy religious freaks?

And here is another Congresswoman, Rep. Gwen Moore D-WI, powerfully and personally describing why Planned Parenthood is necessary after having an unplanned baby at age 18 as part of the same debate.

Hopefully these two women, along with those from Wyoming shown in footnote four can help us have a more open and honest debate about Planned Parenthood, abortion, women’s health and family planning.

[2] Santorum, for those who aren’t obsessed with news, argued that President Obama, as a black American should not support abortion as African-Americans understand better then most the implications of one group deciding what is and what is not a life. While I personally disagree with this, as I do not believe that a child who has not been born is alive, I concede it has merit as an argument, is based on some facts, and is a valid opinion to hold.

[3] To take just one of these facts and dispute it.  According to Wikipedia, Zylkon B was disturbed by a company called Degussa and made by one called Degesch.  Degesch was a partly owned by a German Pharmaceutical company called IG Farben, this company in 1997 bought the French company that created and first sold RU-486 years earlier.  So yes there is a link – though the machinations of corporate buyouts.  The creators of Zyklon B in the 20 did not authorize its use on Jews in World War II and then push to create a drug to induce abortions, in the 90s thereby furthering their Eugenic goals without War.  Neither the timeline nor logic make this possible.

[4] For a great take down on the divisions within conservatism regarding fiscal and social conservatives and where and when government can be allowed to regulate a person’s private life see this Rachel Maddow piece from 2/8/11 in which small government conservatives (those who oppose the government’s intrusion into our public life) argued on the floor of the state house of Wyoming with social conservatives who sought to put pseudo-scientific restrictions on abortion.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Breakfast is a meal I both love and am not interested in. I love eggs, and grits, toasts, jams, and sausage bacon. But those are not daily meals. I love grapefruit, but can’t eat it daily for lack of variety, even though my version of Heaven is not complete without fresh squeezed orange or orange/grapefruit juice. I have little to no interest in cereal. This most likely stems from my dislike of all dairy products (except small amounts of butter), and my hatred of hearing other or myself people chewing combined with a dislike of mushy foods thus making it impossible to eat all but hot cereals without hearing chewing, and therefore I eat it only a handful (literally) of times a year. So most days I don’t eat much more then a piece of whole wheat toast, a piece of fruit or have more then a coke zero (odd choice I know for one looking at starting a coffee shop). Hell pancakes and waffles are actually more of a dinner for breakfast thing to me then an actual breakfast meal. I mean who really wants to clean a kitchen first thing in the morning.

But I love eggs, and probably have some version of an egg breakfast without or without toast once a week. My go-tos and lifetime favorites are baked eggs, poached; low heat slow cooked scrambled, French toast, or soft boiled (with the first two eaten most frequently). On rare occasions at a brunch I will venture into Eggs Benedict, cheeseless omelets, or fried eggs. Maybe once a year I make a large frittata with spinach, tomato, and onions and eat it over a week. But now I have found, or more accurately been given something that is filling, rich, healthy. It may not be as easy poached eggs and toast, and more savory then good French Toast (which I love).

This dish is my interoperation of a birthday gift from my brother. Currently stationed in Afghanistan, he, through his 40-year-old translator, has been reaching out a lot to local people there and learning a lot about their foods, customs and culture. Being in the midst of the war, and often on the move leading convoys, I am amazed he remembered at all, but he did remember and he knew of my love of different cultures, cooking and food. Thus he sent me two recipes from his translator, I assume, for my birthday (I am still trying to work out the kinks on the lamb dish – hopefully will post on that later). But here is what he sent, word for word, after which I will explain how I interpreted it.

“Please imagine this is dictated with a soft afghan accent a little broken English” (I can try and make it more intelligible)

Breakfast:
Put oil in pan
When warm
2 onion (slived) when yellow/red
Tomato on top
Green pepper (very spicy and they are called goat horns here no idea where you would get these)
Leave it melted/mixed water be dried
Become like grilled
Add eggs scrambled
Cover it/shake it until sticky
Serve with naan (buy from Arabian or Iranian store)”

Having recently been to a Chinese market, I knew they were likely to have the Goat Horn pepper (though I have made it since with Serrano pepper), along with some good brown rice, Kim Chi. I also knew that whole foods had a passable whole wheat naan that came in four packets, which while not the best it would do. The rest of the ingredients seemed fairly basic pantry items so I felt good to go.

Goat Horn Peppers

On medium heat, I put about a tablespoon of olive oil into a flat pan. While that was heating I sliced a 1 yellow onion and ¾ of a large white onion (I did not want the sweet or red onions but I think they would work well). I put the onion slices into the heated oil, and stirred. While the onion bits started to cook I cut a tomato into eight parts. After placing the tomato onto of the onion and I tackled the pepper, of which I used the red variety. After first removing the seeds I chopped the pepper into little bits and through them onto the onion mix.

This was then allowed to caramelize (melt) and I continued to cook it until most of the released moisture had evaporated and grill charring began to appear on the onion. While I did stir this occasionally, I also cracked the eggs into a ramekin and scrambled them. Once the char marks appeared I threw the eggs in added the eggs and cooked until the eggs were done and all had been stirred (shaken) together and it appeared not wet or dry but done (I assume this is what they meant by stick).

I did not find this mixture needed much – maybe a dash of salt or pepper could be added to taste, but the caramelized onions and fresh tomatoes and peppers add a lot of flavor to the dish, making it hot and savory while still tasting richly seasoned and fresh. Serving it with warmed up naan was a treat, only topped today when I made hot Hibiscus Tea (or Karkaday as it is called in Egypt) with some honey – truly richly flavored nectar of the gods. It kept me full well beyond lunch without being too much food, was flavorful, spicy, and just plain good. And guess what, the eggs, tomato, and onion were local.

Thanks brother, appreciate your thinking of me, and sharing this – hope you don’t mind I passed it on!

Video Subtitles courtesy Alive in Egypt

Video Subtitles courtesy Alive in Egypt

Video Subtitles courtesy Alive in Egypt

Video Subtitles courtesy Alive in Egypt
Video Subtitles courtesy Alive in Egypt

Here is an Al Jazeera English article on the piece and one from the Christian Science Monitor‘s reporter on the ground in Cairo.   Even NPR and ForeignPolicy (a great piece on the complexity of the movement) are in on the action.  Finally here is a piece and blog (including the same video links I used) from the New York Times on today’s protests and the impact of this interview on the populace.

UPDATED: The Wall Street Journal has two pieces on today’s protest that are nice as well here and here.

I am still waiting. I have contacted people re my potential business had meetings and as recently as last Friday was told we are making decisions and will be back to you soon. It feels a lot like college.

In the mean time, I have been applying to jobs, and even had some interviews set up which is nice.

All of this is a great improvement over last year, which ended on down swing.

Two days before Christmas my house was broken into, somehow hitting the one defective (but now reminded) portion of my alarm, allowing thieves to take my television, a netbook and my checks before triggering the motion detector. This involved three sleepless nights dealing with police calls at 4 am, and 2 am, leading to me breaking down in my mothers Florida house at 4am on the 23rd as the initial reports came (which lead to three hours of phone calls with the alarm company and police and very little shopping done) and a 2am call from the police on the 24, as they thought they had recovered my TV in the thief’s attic (they had) and wanted me to give them the serial number form Florida at 2am.  They were not polite about either waking me up, or understanding of my not carrying my electronic serial number around with me over vacation, but the daytime staff I spoke to and the initial officers on the scene were polite, professional, and seem ot have found the robber. Probably this lack of sleep is what trigger the stomach flu I got right after Christmas. (On an up-note my family all got a long and we had nice updates from my brother in Afghanistan).

After returning to Durham, I waited around for the police for three days before and after new years, as they recovered the TV, dealt with the broken window, the alarm, and a busted pipe. During this period I was averaging about three hours straight sleep night.

In fact it was not until Sunday that I had slept 7 hours straight two nights in a row. A fact, which helps explain why I have felt exhausted and out of it for weeks. That and as anyone who follows me on facebook or twitter knows, I have been watching the news out of the Middle East round the clock as should we all be.

I had a great couple of days around my birthday earlier this month, and some great times with a friend who was here a few days before returning to Cairo (she has since been evacuated out again). So it has been busy. Things are looking up and I am rested and job stuff seems to be moving forward. After the way last year ended this year has no choice but to be better. And thus far it has been.

Hopefully, I will put together a normal post soon, as I am almost recovered from anxiety and sleeplessness. until then pray for Egypt.

This has come to a head this week with the fight over the tax bill.  This bill would help a lot of people – unemployed benefits, payroll tax cuts etc, the extension of lower tax rates in a time of poor economy.  This all sounds good as we need to increase personal and corporate capital in order to help stimulate our economy.  Yet the extremists on both sides, spurred on by 24-hour channels, are complaining.  Some for spending in the deficit.  Others for continuing current tax rates for the rich, and the estate tax extensions.

Nothing in this bill is permanent – it is designed as a compromise to help people who need it.  Some things in it may bother both sides, but sometimes principle matters less then reality.  And sometimes just because you believe in something does not mean it is right or that others agree.  No one party or ideology is right all the time or has all the solutions or a majority.  Stop being an idiot – we all have to compromise in all aspects of our life.  Realize that politics is the art of the possible, not the perfect.

For all who espouse Take no prisoners politics especially those willing to scrap real aid to unemployed and middle class over the Estate Tax, whose underlying theory is dubious (encourage charitable giving) and most whom would be affected have planned around it…this piece is great counterbalance.  Remember this, Obama was not running as a progressive, but as a pragmatic slightly left of center politician. The guy espousing true progressivism was a) routed and b) John Edwards. http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-12-11/obama-tax-cut-deal-john-avlon-applauds-presidential-act/

Finally – I am very intrigued by this group, and wish we could all actually talk like they do.   Its founding leaders include a few journalists/talking heads who almost always respect even when I disagree with it.  please check it out No Labels.

As anyone who knows me can attest, I hate the cold. My favorite season is summer, with late spring a close second.   But I think in terms of cooking, my favorite might be fall – with the fresh root vegetables and the allowance given to stewed and roasted dishes, not to mention what may be my favorite meal of all time, SOUP.  Of course this is a toss up, as I love the local produce in the spring and summer, and salivate at the sight of a fresh berry or peach.  But once the weather looks like it is turning to colder times I stop craving these goods and thinking of dishes that warm the soul, and other foods, like oranges, which I associate with colder weather.   The key to that sentence is the word looks.  If tomorrow it is bright and sunny, the leaves are still green it may not matter what the temperature is, my brain will call out for fresh tomatoes, and other foods that are light, clean tasting and associated with summer (or home).  But so long as it is grey, and the leaves are given the slightest hint that they may change, my cravings switch to fall foods.

After having spent all day either discussing my business plans with outside suppliers eager for me to start up and pay them and packaging boxes for my brother’s platoon, I was tired.  The weather, being dreadful, left me uninspired to do anything but continue reading in bed with Algy curled up between the comforter and the sheet as is his want at my feet and Peebes making a pillow for himself out of the pillow supporting my back and purring contentedly in my ear.  These moments are few and far between, but they are in their own way perfect.  But an empty refrigerator, and lack of any vegetables but a butternut squash, meant that a trip to the store was in order.

After deciding on meats for the next few days, my attention turned to produce, and while I did get some stock vegetables (local tomato, turnips, eggplant, okra, a squash, onion) and the first sweet potatoes of the season, I was abnormally excited by a non-local vegetable that many people despise Brussels Sprouts.

Yummy!

I did not grow up eating these; in fact I don’t remember my mother serving them until recently.  She may have tried, I just don’t remember it.  Most of my association with Brussels sprouts growing up was that you were supposed to hate them; they like Lima beans were the but of sit-com jokes.   And yet once I tried them in law school, I grew quickly to love them.

I typically roast them in olive oil and salt and pepper, sometimes I quarter them first and add vinegar and pancetta stirring them all together so all are coated with the contrasting sweet bacnoy vinegar goodness.  Last night I simply halved them, and put them on a cookie she with sweet potato wedges.  I sprinkled both with a bit of pepper and olive oil, added some rosemary to the sweet potatoes and some heirloom vinegar I got at the farmer’s market in Florida (as I have said repeatedly these markets are in Florida are only minimally about local produce) and roasted them both for 20 minutes at 425.

They both came out perfectly.   I could not stop eating the Brussels sprouts – they were crunchy, nutty and a bit sweet at the same time.  Their woody flavor stirred up memories of fall, thanksgiving.  Their appearance as cut in half cabbages stained with burn and vinegar was amusing.  But mostly they were just good, comforting, and warming without being heavy or a stew.  The perfect fall dish for a day that looked like soup weather, and felt like fall, even if the temperature was 70, and will remain just as perfect as a side (or ingredient in) a hearty stew or potluck.  I can’t say anything for boiled Brussels sprouts, I don’t like many boiled vegetables, but for those of you not eating roasted ones, let me say thanks, as that means more for me.  Finish the  rainy evening with Ken Burns’ 10th inning, the fabulous next step in his Baseball documentary on the era from the Strike through the present (steroids, home runs, great pitching, the Braves, the Yankees, the Red Sox) and it makes for a perfect ending to a gloomy looking Eeyore of a day.

[2] That smell is truly one of the great smells of nature its only real rival in terms of my appreciation of it is that of fresh cut grass.  Both these smells tell me about the weather, the season, and are lovely in a way that cannot be replicated in a factory.

It instead reflects the fact that I was “staring into the void” as old employer told me I should do when I left his firm.  Some of that time, say much of July was devoted to family, with my brother spending much of leave with us and then traveling to Colorado for his deployment.  But more of it was spent focusing on my next steps.  While I don’t want to rock the apple cart by saying that I am definitively headed down one road, I can say that I have spent a lot of time, and some money exploring starting a business (namely a coffee shop/tea house) here in Durham.  I have been meeting with Realtors, insurance people, and consultants in order to get numbers to finalize the plan, reading books on the specific industry and business in general and networking.  People seem interested in my idea, and I am hoping to be firmly started down the path in the next few weeks.

Now that I feel I know which I am headed, I once again feel the need to write, returning both back to this blog and to other projects I have been working on  and having this creative energy feels good, in fact it feels healthy.  Lets hope it continues.

As an olive branch – please accept this video – which for some reason makes me smile.

On July 4, 2009, I took a hike with Algy, one of my mother’s dog, and one of three friends who had joined my mother and I for the long weekend in the Mountains.   While on that hike, with the dogs, and my dear friend who is a little afraid of them, Algy pulled me down a mountain.    I can honestly say, that I sometimes look at that moment, when I went ankle over and ankle severely spraining the tendons and ligaments in my ankles and the top of my feet as the start of a year long fall that I am only now starting to see myself to crawl out of.

All four of the youngish adults in the mountains had graduated law school in 2007, (though not from the same school as the friend who went hiking with me actually was a very good friend from college), and were just beginning to admit how unhappy we were.  At that particular point – we were all employed, though one of us was just finishing a clerkship.  Today, the one who was at the clerkship has since returned to his firm, the others have, like me, been removed from their previous employer (mutually or otherwise) or are actively looking to change jobs.   The only other female there, the friend from college, is currently on a fellowship in Germany for the year.  I, of course, was the first in that position formally as over the course of many discussions my employer and I parted ways

Algy is not normally leashed on hikes, this day, due to the numerous numbers of people in Pantertown Valley he was.  We had already crossed down through the valley, up the mountain, and were headed down into the waterfall, when Algy’s prey instincts caused him to yank.  Admittedly, he does sometimes pull, but this was not like anything he has done before or since, and the ankle recovery took months of physical therapy, and a lack of heels for almost a full calendar year.

While many good things happened in the ensuing months, they were also trying.  Stopping work at a time when jobs are scarce is a difficult enough.  But add to that freak blizzards, dogs who keep getting injured and requiring Elizabethan collars, overall malaise, and the like.  Couple this spring with the hand surgery and the lingering effects of the chronic bronchitis I developed in Egypt that seems to have retriggered my childhood asthma (as much as I loved Egypt, I doubt I will visit any more extremely polluted cities in the future) and sometimes, especially this spring it has felt like every time I overcome one obstacle life hands up another.

At other moments I have been acutely aware of the mountains I have set up for myself.  By not staring off on the standard track for people coming from a big time law school, I have made it highly unlikely that I will ever be hired as an attorney again, at the firms or major corporations my peers are at.

At moments, it seems the outside world is colluding in these feelings.  Earthquakes, storms, heat waves, blizzards are naturally occurring events that seem outsized this year.  Oil is corrupting the Gulf, and of course we are fighting wars in two places, with family members and family friends fighting for us.

Yet, I as much as I feel this year has piled onto me, I can’t help but think things are improving.  I have ideas about my next steps, and really trying to think these things through.  I have started planning moving forward, and travelled to see all of my immediate and extended family in the past few weeks.  As exhausting as all of that was it was also exhilarating, and is really helping me to keep things in perspective.

What I know for sure – as long as I have goals and fight for them, I am moving.  It may not work out but it will at a minimum open doors.  As such I keep applying to things as I also looking into starting my own projects.  In the mean time this year on the Fourth the same two dogs and my father and I hiked the same trail.  This time no one fell and the scenery was even more beautiful then last year.  Hopefully that means I am headed the right direction.