Life with a dream

Photography Fun

2014-09-15T08:27:00.003-04:00

I've always loved photos. In fact, Im a huge scrapbooker. Even though the last 2 years my scrapbooking has been minimum due the fact that time is just so hard to get around the house these days. I plan to go to digital scrapbooking, and make year books, because it'll just be less time involved, and honestly, when I'm behind on my scrapbooking, I GET STRESSED OUT. So.. anyway.

Photos.. I take LOTS of them, I document everything I can.. I just love to look back at them.

I do some mini photoshoots here and there for friends/family.. not much. I just enjoy doing them, because I love doing them for myself too.

Heres a peek at the shoot I did yesterday with this lovely mama to be!

Low Carb Flax Bread

2014-08-11T08:23:00.000-04:00

Morning all,

I'm back with a recipe I think anyone with a low carb diet is going to love. I'm a bread person... so naturally when I decided to go low carb, the thought of not having bread or pasta has been devastating. I look at the loaf of yummy bread and think.. damn I'd like to smother you with some good butter and jam. No no no Amber...

I decided to find a replacement.. and this next recipe is one step in that direction! It's fairly simple, and the end results were pretty pleasing. I would describe this bread as a dense bread, fairly heavy of the sort, but to me tasting some what like wheat bread or a whole grain bread. I ate it last night with a veggie burger and it hit the spot perfect. I hope you enjoy it! It could be modified and add ingredients such as different seasoning.. I added a few sunflower seeds to the top of mine (which would differ the nutrition value adding a little bit more of carbs - but good carbs!)

My input on this recipe... I substituted the 1-2 tablespoons of artificial sweetener with 2 tablespoons of honey.. I felt it was more natural, Im not big on artificial sweetener. Also, it definitely took some working to flatten this dough out - so don't feel you did it wrong, it was pretty stiff for me but I got it flatten out. I also used a 9x13 inch pan - If it would have been 10x15 I'm not sure if I would have actually gotten it completely squared and flatten.

You can see my changes in red on this recipe. Feel free to do whatever works best for you, this is what worked for me.

Flax Bread

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 35 minutes

Ingredients:

2 cups flax seed meal
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1-2 Tablespoons sugar equivalent from artificial sweetener OR 2 Tablespoons of honey
5 beaten eggs
1/2 cup water
1/3 cup oil

Preparation:

Flattened Dough

Preheat oven to 350 F. Prepare pan (a 10X15 pan with sides works best) with oiled parchment paper or asilicone mat. I set my oven to 375 convect and used a 9x13 inch pan.

1) Mix dry ingredients well -- a whisk works well.

2) Add wet to dry, and combine well. Make sure there aren't obvious strings of egg white hanging out in the batter. I actually just mixed my wet ingredients and then added one dry ingredient at a time leaving the flax meal for last. Its one less pan you have to dirty, and makes mixing less time. Works fine.

3) Let batter set for 2 to 3 minutes to thicken up some (leave it too long and it gets past the point where it's easy to spread.) I did let this sit while I oiled up my pan and got everything ready to go in.

4) Pour batter onto pan. Because it's going to tend to mound in the middle, you'll get a more even thickness if you spread it away from the center somewhat, in roughly a rectangle an inch or two from the sides of the pan (you can go all the way to the edge, but it will be thinner). There is no "pouring" with this batter for me.. it was like a dough and I had to work it to the corners with my hands and a spatula, took about 5 minutes I swear, but I got the deed done.

5) Bake for about 20 minutes, until it springs back when you touch the top and/or is visibly browning even more than flax already is. It took exactly 20 minutes for me when the edges started browning, it was perfectly done.

6) Cool and cut into whatever size slices you want. You don't need a sharp knife; I usually just cut it with a spatula. For a 9x13 inch pan this made about 12 slices around 3-4 inches big.

Nutritional Information: Each of 12 servings has less than a gram of effective carbohydrate (.7 grams to be exact) plus 5 grams fiber, 6 grams protein, and 185 calories.

The end result.. YUM

Be sure to check in next week, I'll be trying something out a little sweeter!

Using a passion for great use...

2014-08-10T12:20:00.002-04:00

Today as I am looking over all the things I want to make/bake for my new low carb low sugar diet.. it dawned on me. Why don't I share my recipes? Share my experiences... I know so many other women out there going through the same struggles I am. It's called PCOS.. and its a bummer. You can read about my story here.

Baking, cooking, gardening, and all of the above are passions of mine. Of course.. haven PCOS carbs, sugars, and all the yummy stuff really get cut out of the equation. I LOVE CARBS AND SUGARS. Like, seriously... bread at every meal.. ice cream could be an all day snack. But, this just doesn't work for me.. and with having PCOS weight tends to just come out of no where, even when you're not eating "bad"per say.. more like I normal person might eat. Being married to someone who can eat anything in sight and not gain a pound can be hard in the house.. He eats, and I gain it for him. That's fun right?

Luckily, my husband is all for clean and healthy eating. We do tons of gardening, canning, and growing our own food. We try to keep our meats as organic as possible and even grow our own meats too. In today's society.. you just can't trust where your stuff comes from anymore! That doesn't mean were perfect.. you'll find a frozen processed food in our freezer.. some snacks that I don't know any of the ingredients on. Were definitely not perfect, but we try to be on our best behavior as we can.

Plus.. eating healthy.. equals $$$$. WHY, why is is so expensive for the good stuff? You'd think in todays age with so many people over weight, they might push to lower the price on the good stuff. And being a young couple just starting in this world, with an almost 10 month old baby.. well money is definitely an issue.

These past few weeks my husband and I have really kicked it into high gear. Im trying to lose weight.. and were trying to be healthier for our little boy. He deserves that right? We've been eating great and working out almost EVERYDAY.. I also signed up for a 5k.. (yikes!) You can read about that here...

So.. being a baker.. I decided to put it to good use. Not only just for me.. but for all the other women out there who like me just try so so hard to be healthy, but its just that much harder for us compared.

Today I start with a pretty darn simple recipe. It just doesn't get more simple then this..

Parmesan Crisps
If you like cheez-its and cheese flavored crackers. I promise this will help your cravings. Just want some crunch on that salad without the croutons? Try these! Dip them anything your heart desires. They are low carb, and no sugars. BUT.. the fat is a little higher, so if you are trying to watch fat intake too, just eat in moderation.

Ingredients:
1 Bag of Shredded Parmesan Cheese (you could also use Romano or Asiago - just stick to hard cheeses)

Thats is folks. 1 ingredient.

Take a good baking pan, and coat it with some spray. You could also put on parchment paper if you have old baking sheets. Put about dollar coin size mound on there. You could really do any size that you want, you could even get creative and make shapes!

They don't spread too much, you can keep about an inch or inch and half distance between them. Pop them in the oven at 350 degrees, and bake for about 8-10 minutes. Really depending on your oven (mine tends to heat things up a bit quicker) you bake them until they are all golden.. or getting slightly brown. Don't over do them too much. Take them out, let them cool and there you go! YUM

Depending on the size of the bag you get depends on the how much you will get out. I used a 6 oz bag, and it made approximately 25-30 Crisps

Mounds Of Cheese

The After effect

I hope you enjoy them. They're so simple. Keep coming back to check out my endeavors!

Parmesan Crisps Nutrition: (This can vary on how big you make your crisps, to get an accurate nutrition value, weigh your cheese when you put it your baking sheets)

Serving Size: 1/3 cup (28g) - 6 Servings per 6 oz bag

Per Serving: Calories 110, Total Fat 7g, Saturated Fat 4g - Trans Fat 0g, Cholesterol 20mg, Sodium 340 mg, Potassium 30mg, Protein 10g

Total Carbs: 1g

Total Sugars: 0g

Nutrition Bonus: Calcium 30% daily value

Did I really just sign up for my first 5k?

2014-08-05T16:28:00.000-04:00

Yes, you read that title right.. I signed up for a 5k.

You may not be gasping, but I am.

I have never, let me repeat, never been any sort of runner. Even in my most fit days of my life was I not a runner of any sort. Short distance? Yep, I could do those just fine, and was even sort of speedy.. (sort of)... but long distance running? Kill me now.

After having Kayden, I felt great.. I had lost 20 pounds out of the hospital.. and then gained some back.. and then realized.. I still have so much more weight to lose that I needed to do something.

So while in the midst of discussing my plan to my best friend.. we got the bright idea to do a 5k. She's also been working out and trying to get into shape too. Just two moms here that are dreaming of better, skinnier days ahead.

We grew up together doing sports, and spent many of many nights and weekends together working out. So.. we're not new to each others strengths and weaknesses. We know each other works, what we can and can't do.. and we're pushing each other to go further.

That's when you know you've truly got a best friend there. They aren't competing with you, they aren't trying to be better.. they're trying to help you too. They're there for you, and they're there when you send them a snap chat saying... I hate dieting - and they know exactly how you feel. They are right beside you through the whole journey, and you can talk to them about every fail and slip up you've done, and then you can also laugh at each other when you just know you are being so ridiculous in this journey to become better fit people. If you can't laugh with your friends, and you can't be honest with them... then what are they there for?

So.. Ive got 2 months to train, to lose some more of this weight that I have been struggling to lose for years. Goodbye sugars and carbs.. I will miss you so.

I really am trying to not just diet.. but change my lifestyle. Be healthier, eat cleaner, workout and stay in shape. I want to set an example for Kayden - and luckily my husband is on board. Although, he can just about eat anything his heart desires, because I gain it for him.

We signed up for the almighty Color Run. So, we're getting all decked out and going to KICK this Color Run's royal butt.

For my first run, I'll be happy to walk half and jog half. I aint about to try and kill myself, but this sure has helped some motivation. If I'm going to pay $40 to run (I could so use that on much better things) then damn, Im going to work for it.

Wish me luck!

I'm missing an organ..

2014-07-27T11:30:00.000-04:00

So.. if you recall my writing a few months back about having gallbladder stones.. after I had Kayden I had to get my gall bladder removed.

It sucked.

It was like, as soon as Kayden came out.. my gallbladder THREW a fit. I was having attack after attack, and they kept getting worse. And being home alone with a new born and being unable to move, heaving over a toilet just wasn't going to work anymore. I was even watching my diet - trying to keep attacks at bay, well it didn't work.

So at the end of November, only 3 short weeks after having my baby via c-section, my stomach was AGAIN cut up.

I looked like I was in a knife fight. The surgery went well, except after the fact they ended up giving me a DOUBLE dose of Tylenol. To which the DR had to come in and tell me what happen, and that they weren't too concerned - that in Europe they give this high of a dose, but its not really done in the US. Great.

So, here I was at home with an infant, hardly able to move. Not taking ANY pain medication, because it totally looped me out, let alone I was breastfeeding and didn't want to pass any to Kayden.

So yes, I had a c-section and a gall bladder removal and did not use any pain meds. So, it sucked, it hurt, but I lived.

It was nice being able to eat like a normal person again afterwards, so no I don't miss my gallbladder.

At times though I still get pain in that area, but i think its due to the cutting - Im not sure if its 100% healed or what, but doing anything strenuous or twisting certain ways makes it pull that muscle or something in there - I don't know what it is, but it still hurts and feels like a pulled muscle that hurts when I breath.

You win some you lose some.

Either way, I am missing an organ. And, the next time I have a baby, it will be great NOT to have to worry about that problem again!

Adios Gallbladder!

My 9 month old crazy boy

2014-07-25T10:00:00.000-04:00

Oh Kayden,

How BIG YOU ARE GETTING.

9 months old, where has this year gone?! How is it possible that I am planning your 1 year birthday party already, and already stressing about it?

You are a piece of work. Unique in so many ways. You have a personality that makes me laugh every day. Your facial expressions, your eye brow moves, and the way you give that little grin under your binky.

You have an attitude, and you know it. Sometimes I can't help but laugh even when Im trying to have that "stern" voice. You really don't know what NO means, but one day you will. You're starting to test your boundaries with me. Whether its smacking me and looking straight into my eyes to see what I do.. or pulling certain things you really shouldn't be. (ouch) OR.. screaming and grunting when you are mad, to only smile when I look at you. And don't forget my favorite, when you are being "bad" and mommy says No, you find it very appropriate to laugh in her face.

I'm going to have my hands full with you boy, I just know it.

Your crawling everywhere. You're getting into everything. You must stand up at all places, and try and climb the gates and the stairs. You don't want your toys on the floor, no you'd rather have the dogs. And you have an obsession with licking shoes, and usually the bottom. (gag)... I can't keep my eye off you for not even one second.

You liked to be chased now.. and find it funny when daddy runs after you. You love our puppies, and will sit and watch them play and giggle forever. You also love your Spongebob. When the show starts and the song comes on, ALL MUST STOP and watch.

You're sleeping pretty good, although there are nights you like to stay up a few hours and make sure the only way you'll stop crying is when Mommy is holding you. I don't mind, just wish you would do this during the day when I am NOT so tired.

These past 9 months have been a whirlwind of learning, playing, stressing, and loving. My life with you is 100x better. The love I have for you is unbelievable and I can't wait to see how the rest of our lives together will go. You are my perfect little boy - and Mommy LOVES YOU SO!

Life of a pumper...

2014-07-24T10:11:00.000-04:00

This post may not be appropriate for younger audience..

Or men... Read at your free will.

I just got done pumping... it won't be the last time today, I will have at least 3 more pumps today.

After pumping for 6 months, I am not ashamed to say, I CANT WAIT TO BE DONE.

Don't get me wrong.. I LOVE breastfeeding. It's the greatest bond I could have with my son, and I enjoy it thoroughly. Even though lately he seems to busy to want to nurse.. he's getting so big. I am so happy that I was able to have this opportunity to nourish my baby. It was one of the BIGGEST things that I wanted to do, and I stuck to it, and I am so happy that I did.

But pumping? It can shove it. I spend at minimum and hour of my day pumping..

and lately, its been so much work, for so little produced!

Its actually getting depressing, but I am so close to hitting that 1 year mark. Yes, dear lord my baby will be one in just 3 months. That was my goal, make it to a year. I know I will make it to that year, but unfortunately, my supply just doesn't want to support the 3 a day bottles my little piggy is wanting.

Decisions, decisions. Not that I have anything against formula, I just personally didn't want to go there. I have some milk stashed away from the beginning when i was a walking cow... so I know I have a few weeks left to use for fillers.

One year, One year.. just have to make it to one year.

BUT - I am so ready to stop being that pumping mom.. who at work has to close her office door so many times a day... sit and have my ladies feel like they are being pulled for one lousy bottle these days.

Oh the things we do for our babies!

One day Ill be able to look back on this and be proud though, and say, yes I did it.. and yes, I miss it.

Until then... I HATE YOU PUMPING.

Oh hey, I forgot I had a blog.

2014-07-11T09:38:00.003-04:00

Hello again there blog.

Its been quite some time.

And lets just start by me making a lot of excuses as to why i have not wrote in such a long time... here it goes.

Ive been busy, not just your normal busy, like so super busy with an 8 month old, new puppy, summer gardens, full time working, and then some other work, oh and cleaning in between the tornado that goes through my house everyday busy.

But.. life is great actually. I am enjoying being a mommy to such a wonderful little man. I'm enjoying doing lots of house updates, and enjoying getting ready for our first beach trip this year.

Yes, Ive been busy, but guess what? I'm going to make some time for you again, I think i need it.

So... lets do this..

to be continued...

Tis the Season..

2013-12-16T09:07:00.000-05:00

Tis the season to be crazy ass busy.

I'm sitting here thinking of my next two weeks and my head is spinning. SO much to squeeze into such a short amount of time.

I love it though. All the fun things we have planned, the get togethers with friends and family, tis the season!

Last night Kayden had his star role in the play at our church as Baby Jesus. He did great, was a perfect baby and everyone LOVED him. Of course his hair attracts a lot of attention too.

and yes, if you caught that I said "our church"… now, granted we've only went twice.. and would have been 3 yesterday if I wasn't worried how icy the roads were. Ryan and I had been wanting to start going to church, not just for Kayden, but for us. We went to a few other churches, but nothing seem to fit right. So, we decided to visit the church I use to go to as a little girl up the road (1 mile away) and I think it's going to work out pretty good for us. And, I'm excited. We need this in our lives, and I hope that it will continue to work for us.. only time will tell I guess.

Today my sister in law from California who is in visiting for the holidays will be coming over to make some special stuff! I can't elaborate since they are Christmas gifts, but it will be fun and I'm excited! Tomorrow we plan to make a CRAP load of cookies… mmhm. My belly is excited for that.

So much planned… are you doing anything YOU are excited for?!

Snowed in..

2013-12-10T10:26:00.001-05:00

It's snowing its butt off.. so I'm snowed in.

Who am I kidding, I'm at home everyday! But, it is nice to be able to stay in and enjoy the beauty outside in the comfort of my own home, and with this little man…

He's too cute.

And such a GOOD baby. Seriously though. I know every mom says that, but I've been around babies.. I know how they're suppose to be, and this little guy is not the "Average" baby. And there is nothing wrong with the average baby, because THAT is how babies are, and I was totally prepared for that. You know, the crying, the fussing, the whatever else.

Not this guy. Now, he does fuss… when his diaper is dirty and he's hungry. His fussing? Squirming and making grunts. Very rarely does this baby full on cry. The only time I've really heard him cry cry was when he got his shot at his 1 month appointment. Broke my heart.

Otherwise, this baby… constantly has a smile on his face, since week one. This baby can keep himself occupied by himself for over an hour, just starring and taking everything in. This baby can be put in his crib (most nights) fall asleep on his own and sleep for 5-7 hours. YAY for me!

I hate to say it, but I've been spoiled with this one and I will brag about it everyday. (Knock on wood)

Which makes me scared for our next kid.. even though that's years away. Everyone be like, "oh that just means your next one will be a terror!" Hmm.. thanks for making me NOT want to have any more kids (hah!) I'm not worried about that yet… and if the kid is a terror, well they'll just have to deal with hearing the rest of their life.."but your brother was…" You get the point. ;)

Anyway, back to snow. We've got a lot so far, and it makes me wonder what is in store for us the rest of the Winter. I love the snow. Not going out in it.. just the look of it. I hope we have a white Christmas this year, it would be great. And the fact that I am home on Maternity leave is awesome that I get to spend the holidays at home. I have so much planned this month. This is a great time of the year to have a baby that is for sure!

I'm going to enjoy snuggling with my baby now… be safe everyone if you go out!

Hello again… Here's the story

2013-12-09T10:28:00.001-05:00

So.. its been.. awhile.

Weeks to be exact since the last time I wrote. And let me tell you the last 7 weeks have been the most amazing, crazy, blurred, sleepless weeks, because yes, I HAD my baby.

I don't know why I stopped writing, but it could be the fact I have been busy getting back into a routine with this little guy. I think I'm there… to my best ability, to OUR best ability.

I wanted to share with you his story.. his birthday. I know some of you know it, but some don't. So sit back and enjoy.. it's bound to be a long one.

It was October 21st, and I went in for one of my scheduled weekly appointments, just the checkup I was 39 weeks. They did their normal routine checkup and to no surprise my blood pressure was high. I had been dealing with high blood pressure and border line pre-eclampsia for awhile ( I think I spelled that right)… so, they were worried of course, and didn't want me to get sick, so off to triage I went and spent the next 5 hours in there, ALONE. It sucked, but by the end they had schedule me to be induced THE NEXT EVENING. holy crap. Was I ready? My head was spinning. My bags had been packed for weeks, the house was deep cleaned and organized and while everything physical was ready, my anxiety began to go through the roof! Emotionally, I wasn't sure if I was ready. I was excited, scared, nervous and every emotion under the book, and so was my husband. BUT.. I did like that I knew when he was coming, I didn't have to wait around not knowing if every pain I felt was the possibility of him coming. No, I knew. I was able to prepare myself as best as I could.

Tuesday night rolled around, we packed up the car and headed to hospital around 7 pm.

Last prego photo, right before we left.

We got there and got settled into our room, and began the medicine process. We finally fell asleep, which was so hard with our excitement and nerves going, but we managed to get some rest before 9 am rolled around when they started me on the pitocin (to get my labor going). A few hours past and my contractions were getting stronger and closer, they even backed the medicine down because I was doing great on my own. At 11:50 am, my water broke on its own. Talk about a weird thing. I thought I had peed myself (seriously) because we were sitting there and my mom was there too, and we were talking and laughing, so I naturally thought I peed myself because I was laughing pretty hard. Until the gush of water, then I knew, nope my water just broke.

After that, things picked up.. and fast. By time I was 5 cm, I had had enough… GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL. Luckily, the anesthesiologist wasn't busy and came right in. The process on the other hand didn't go so quickly. I have a mild case of scoliosis, so my back is not perfectly straight. It took him SIX tries to get that bad boy in. OUCH. Trying to hold still through contractions and him pricking me OVER and OVER.. not easy. He finally got it in, and wow, instant relief. The next few hours were a breeze and by 6 pm I was fully dilated and ready to push.

Two hours later (still pushing) there wasn't much progress. I was pushing fine, so the nurse told me, he just didn't want to come out. They only let first time moms push up to 3 hours I was told.. and I was getting to that cut off point.

But then, his heart rate started to go up and it wasn't coming down. The nurse didn't wait at all to call the doctor. As the doctor walked in with a sad look on her face, I knew what was coming. She told me she hated this part, especially after I had been laboring all day, but it was time to take him via c-section.

I cried… and cried.

I'm not sure if it was more scared then anything, or the fact I felt like I had failed. But it sucked. That was at 8:30 pm on October 23, 2013.

I was rushed in, dosed up, and laid on the table with oxygen and probably 10 nurses and doctors in the room. Ryan was put in his awesome outfit, and was feeling the nerves as well. I didn't feel a thing.. I felt like a rock to be honest. Couldn't move or feel anything.. it was a strange feeling. There was one thing I did feel though, when my son was born as they were pulling him out.

It was 9:04 pm. Happy Birthday Kayden Douglas Hudler.

He came out screaming and was 8 pounds and 7 ounces, with a head full of hair, and his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck 3 times. He was perfect though and passed his tests great, he was one healthy boy.

The rest of our 3 day stay went great. We were learning all we could and getting prepared to be parents on our own.

As much as I wanted that perfect birth, I didn't get… it didn't matter. I had a perfect baby boy. Yes, the pain sucked, I have a scar, but I would take all the pain in the world again and again for this little guy who has filled my heart with so much love.

I love this boy.

The Wait.

2013-10-15T08:38:00.000-04:00

After my doctor appointment yesterday confirmed that everything is going great, and that I WON'T need to be induced anytime soon, or hopefully at all, I was happy about that. My blood pressure is good, proteins are good, non-stress tests are showing baby boy is doing just fine. It's all the wait now...

wait... wait... wait..

I'm down to less then 2 weeks.. but it seems forever, but then it doesn't. It doesn't seem that long at all. I'm all for waiting, as long as he appears in the month of October. Call it dumb, but I want an October baby. Maybe because I was an October baby, and I loved when my birthday was, and I want that for Kayden... but he could totally hate it for all I know.

wait.. wait... wait.

Overall, I feel ok. Yes, puffy, large, and waddling... but I'm really not that bad. I can handle another 2 weeks... we'll see how I feel after that.

**********

Yesterday was my birthday... 24 years old, and I don't feel a day older. I went out with my mom shopping and we had lunch.. got some good stuff and after my last Doctor appointment went home and took a nap. (ahhh) it was nice, and I am totally not a nap person.

The husband was awesome enough to make me some birthday dinner, and even a birthday cake. Got to love him, he loves to make me happy (most of the time ;) And it was a darn good dinner too... a light garlic/lemon pasta with salad and chocolate cake for dessert. Yum. I can't wait for lunch now to eat my leftovers.

It was a nice birthday.. but I know my best gift is coming soon.

Just got to wait for him, everything is on his time of course :)

The Final Weeks

2013-10-08T09:01:00.002-04:00

This last week or so has been hectic....

My mind has been everywhere and I think I even lost it a few times.

These final weeks are horrible.. not in a "I'm so uncomfortable way" because although I am sometimes, I'm really not that bad as everyone made it out to seem.. it's more of a going to the Doctor a million times more then planned, and having a scare of "You might need to be induced early" due to some blood pressure problems...

Now, I am under watch. Baby is great, he checks out perfect, so I am SO thankful for that. They are just keeping an eye on me these last few weeks just in case.

As much as I DONT want to be induced, and that I really want to my first time as natural as possible, having a I know when you are coming date sounds kind of nice. Takes away the HOLY CRAP ITS TIME date. Which, can be fun? (Notice question mark)

It's all so real now, that my baby.. this new little human being I have been carrying for over 9 months now will be here soon. The anxiety and excitement can be unbearable.

Let us also not forget the craziness of trying to get things done before he comes. My husband probably wants to run away at this point.. but he'll get over it. Our list of to-dos is definitely down to the last final items... I'm finally starting to be able to relax a little and know that everything is ready... he can come at anytime.

These last final weeks are full of emotions and craziness... so forgive me if I am absent more then usual.. I promise at one point (I hope) I will be back and not sound so out there.

My little brag post...

2013-09-27T10:35:00.000-04:00

Today I'm going to have a little brag post... because people can have those every once in awhile right?

I don't talk about it often, so some of you may not even know what I do for a living.. I am currently a Marketing Manager (with some Graphic Design on the side, just not in the title). I went to school for business, and always loved Marketing. It's my thang. Got out of college and was so lucky to end up working for a great company in their Marketing department, where I started to get more into design as well.

I've always been an artsy one.. loved making flyers and invites and such, but as I got more and more into design work, I just started to love it more. I didn't go to school for graphic design.. I am pretty much (besides a few basics classes I've taken here and there) a self-taught designer.. with some help from a few friends who DID go to school for just design.

Anyway, fast forward... I am now working for a new company as their Marketing Manager/Graphic Designer.. and my first BIG project here was re-doing their whole website.

And it's finally done. It's been launched for a few weeks now, but it's going great, and I'm ready to show it off a bit.

Those of you who have done websites know how much time, effort and serious shit goes into creating a BRAND new website... and not a simple one either. This was months of work, months of stressful work! BUT... I am so proud of my first website launch...

So.. if you're bored.. take a look!

www.agindustrial.com

My first official website launch.

A Small snapshot of the website

And yes, I do currently do work on the side (Rates are determined on the job). So, if you're in need of a designer for web, personal invites/announcements/ weddings/showers/birthday parties, blogs WHATEVER... you can check out my Design section here.

Its a mushy one, I won't lie.

2013-09-24T10:19:00.001-04:00

Today is my husband and I's 2nd anniversary. Two years seems so short... but it's gone so fast. Everything about that day was just magical and full of love. It's a day I wish I could relive over and over... without all the stress of course.

Ryan and I have been together for 6 1/2 years... we met randomly one night, and since then it's just been ever growing love. I knew the moment I met him that one day I would marry this man, I just knew it. I'm so glad it came true.

Ryan is one special guy. I don't say that JUST because he is my husband, of course every wife thinks their husband is one of a kind and the best out there. That's why we marry who we do. But, with Ryan there is so much more to him then meets the eye. He's not perfect, no one is.. he has habits that truly make me want to bang my head in a wall... but overlooking that.. he is one special guy.

He's the guy that makes me laugh.. EVERYDAY. I'm talking huge belly laughs, or to the point he puts me in a laughing fit that I just can't stop laughing... he's hysterical. He's the guy that would rather stay home and cuddle on the couch all night, and doesn't complain when I just don't feel like making dinner. Instead, he's the guy that tells me to sit down and relax, he'll make dinner tonight. He's a family man, and cares so much about the ones he loves, he would do anything for them. He's the guy that would jump over mountains to make me happy, or try his absolute best... he always has my interest in mind. He's the guy that randomly tells me he loves me, and means it from the bottom of his heart... he's the one that tells me such cute remarks about "us", that it's just one more silent I love you.

He's the guy I love so very much. I'm so glad he's my forever.

It's such a great feeling waking up everyday and having so much love for someone... I thank God that he sent him my way, I have no doubt in my mind that I truly have found my soul-mate. Something, not very many people can say.

Happy 2nd anniversary to my favorite person in the world..

I can't wait for many many more.

I love this man with every part of me, body mind and soul!

He's so handsome =)

Its cold, and I love it

2013-09-17T08:21:00.001-04:00

We left our windows in the bedroom open last night, and I woke up freezing.... YES!

Fall is my favorite season, it always has been and always will. My birthday falls what I consider in the middle of Fall (October 14th!) and has always made Fall that extra special. My Fall season is from September 1st through end of November. That's Fall to me, because once you hit December, that is all about Christmas, that's Winter.

Fall just makes me happy, and I totally need that right now. I've decorated, and started preparing the gardens for the season, and thinking about wearing sweatshirts and boots just makes me smile. The only downside this Fall is no camping... we love to go camping in the Fall and at 8-9 months pregnant, I just don't know if I could handle it. There is always next year.

BUT THIS FALL... is the best of any Falls, I will get to meet my sweet boy.. less then 6 weeks til my due date now... and I'm getting more and more excited. I'm hoping to have an early birthday present! A girl can hope!

****

Nights are beginning to be harder and harder to get some good sleep. I don't wake up every hour to pee like some women, just once between 2 and 4 am sometime... but my bones... oh my bones how they hurt. My lower back and hips and all those joints around there are hating me. Getting up at night and in the morning... shit, anytime I sit for an extended period of time makes me want to cry. OK.. not cry, but DAMN IT HURTS. I swear one of these days my legs are just going to give out underneath me.

The belly is definitely starting to get in the way... of everything.

Also... people keep telling me that he will stop moving as much as he is getting less and less room. Well, he hasn't yet. I think he's got a shit ton of room in there, because he still moves like he is doing gymnastics or something. And as much as I enjoy feeling him move, and just sitting here wondering what he is possibly doing in there.... OUCH. He's under my hip bone, pushing out my belly button, and he is low.. oh so low that I think he could stick a hand out and wave.

Don't get me wrong, I love it.. and as a million and one people have told me that I will miss it... sometimes depending on what he is doing in there, I don't think I will miss is that much... especially when he's down there pinching on my bladder sending pain the whole way out... well you get it. Miss that? Probably not.

****

You know what I love? My husband. (big surprise right?) But seriously, I have to give a little credit to him in the fact that he's totally awesome. He has been the best through this whole pregnancy... listening to my every "hey, babe he's moving, come feel!" (probably ten times a day) to my every complaint, and whine of "can you help me" (he's hearing that ALOT more these days). But after everything, he still makes me feel great. Those developing stretch marks that I finally saw and pointed out to him, he just laughed and said "All I see is beauty marks." To this morning when finding clothes is becoming harder and harder, without wearing the SAME maternity shirts I have over and over again, he looks at me and smiles and says how cute I look.

Gosh... he's great. I won't say perfect, because NO ONE is perfect, and I hate when people say that, but he's pretty darn awesome, and I'm pretty darn lucky to have him. It's the little things that count people. He's going to be a great father.

The diagnosis

2013-09-12T08:19:00.001-04:00

Tuesday morning, bright and early I rolled into the hospital, hungry and thirsty (because I had to fast) in order to get my abdominal scan.

I'm not sure if I had mentioned before, but my bloodwork came back for my possible gallbladder issues fine... there were no indications that I had any liver, gallbladder or kidney problems. Yet, my doctor still wanted me to get an ultrasound just to make sure.

I figured that since the bloodwork was fine, that it was pointless to do this ultrasound, that I was in fact being a huge baby and complaining about what probably was just "heartburn"... Great.

As I laid on the table, the technicians explained all she was going to do and started scanning around, all the mean while, Kayden was rolling and kicking up a storm, and hitting her arm multiple times. She laughed, and told me he was a little active one. Yep, this I already knew.

She finally got around to my gallbladder... why do they save the thing you are looking for, for last? She then looked at me and said, "Oh yes, you have some gallstones."

REALLY!?

Ugh.

My gallbladder was half full with stones and "sludge", such an attractive word that sludge is. THIS is where my pains had been coming from, those awful, awful attacks I have been having. Even though I was upset to find this out, I am relieved to at least know the cause of these pains. It's going to suck, because I'll have to get it removed at some point I'm sure. Gallstones just don't go away on there own, they are always there, always ready to give you the fright of your life.

I'll be discussing my options more with my doctor on Monday who I believe will be referring me to someone who obviously does these types of surgeries and stuff.

The fun part now is figuring out when. Obviously, I'm not able to have surgery while pregnant, although some women who have it really bad do. I've been keeping a good eye on my diet and keeping away from anything that could remotely "inflame" my gallbladder as they call it. So far it seems to be working, so I know I can hold out a bit longer. After I have the baby though, I'm just not sure when I will want to do this.

So many questions to figure out...
Do I want to have it removed while on maternity leave?
Do I want to wait awhile and then take off MORE work later next year when I really don't want to have to take off more work? (You can be out 1-2 weeks I've read)
What if I'm breastfeeding, will that effect it in anyway?
What about taking care of the baby after the surgery?

and.. more.

Questions I will no doubt discuss with my doctor.. it's just a lot to take in and consider. Let alone add the surgery bill to my already huge pile of bills. I hate bills.

So... this all sucks.. but at least I know what is causing the problem, and that there IS a solution. Maybe not one I am particularly fond of, but there is.

ONE good thing that has come out of this and will also help after I have the baby was my sudden HUGE diet change. I've stayed away from pretty much anything that has any grams of fat, whole diary, and food with lots of cholesterol. It's help me keep pretty healthy this last trimester, and will no doubt help me make good choices after I have the baby, and help me lose some of that baby weight I hope!

See.. there is always a positive somewhere amidst the negative.

Here is what a pic of some gallstones looks like.. I tried to find the least graphic image. They sersiouly just look like a handful of rocks you pick up outside. They can also range from small to like golfball size (or more!) rocks. MINE, are not that big, but still... ew.

The Maternity Shoot

2013-09-10T09:55:00.000-04:00

Our Maternity Shoot pictures have finally arrived, and I am SO SO pleased with them. I am just in love with out great they turned out. There is just something fun about having a photo shoot and seeing yourself all dolled up and looking great, even with a big old belly. Luckily, I have a husband that is pretty photogenic. He always looks good in his pictures, and only complained a few times about the hundred photos we took, he's pretty awesome.

I wanted to share a few of my favorites from the day...

We just had a blast taking these photos, everything turned out exactly how I wanted, and it was all right in our back yard!

I just absolutely love this one. (I made those little banners) but the background and colors are just great, so simple yet so fantastic!

This has such a calming feel to it, we just can't wait for you to enter the world!

Ok, beside having a "sexy" feel, my boobs look huge people, and I can thank pregnancy for that.

I loved the photos in the field, definitely my kind of scene. So relaxing.

Having one handsome husband always make the photos look better!

Ryan just loved taking photos in front of his old Ford truck.. definitely a man's type of photo.

This is what I get everyday, so much love from that man, and this photo reminds me of how much he gives every single day. Got to love him!

Weekend Review: Birthing Class

2013-09-09T08:37:00.000-04:00

We had our birthing class Saturday... and while it was a great learning experience, it was a longggg day.

We got there at 8:30 (the hospital is 45 minutes away mind you) and got our giant stack of papers, made our name tags, and prepared to sit for the next 8 hours.

I liked our instructor, she was funny, and really knowledgeable (I would hope) about everything, so that made the class enjoyable. Yes, there were a few things I did know.. I mean, I would hope no one would go into that class NOT knowing how a baby comes out, but I guess that is possible.

What I took most out of it was... YOU, as the momma that is about to push out this baby needs to be happy with the birth of your baby. Everyone goes into their labor with expectations and birth plans. I won't lie, I have mine written down. BUT.. that doesn't mean it will be exactly how you want it to be. Shit comes up. This helped my mind come to the conclusion that, even though I would REALLY like to be able to have this baby, all-natural... it just might not happen. So, with that being said.. I'm much more educated on the next steps if that just isn't going to happen... and I'm OK with that.

We learned a lot on ways to cope with the pains, and contractions and everything else, in hopes that I can try and do this all-natural... and I really, really do hope that they work for us. At least, I want to try... that's my goal, to try. I'm not going to go in there saying "I WANT THE MEDS BEFORE IT HURTS"... no.. I'm much more educated that the meds have risks.. that the meds aren't what GOD put into our bodies to help make this happen.. that my body CAN do this, and that is what I'm going to try. Don't get me wrong, if you had meds for your births, like most women do, that is ALL you, and 100% fine, everyone has their own experience and ways of coping.. and there is nothing wrong with that. I just hope that I can get through this birth without intervention and meds, but who knows, I could come out of this thing with having everything in the book... and that is where I have to be OK with the fact that I didn't have my "exact" birth plan.

Happy Mom, Happy Baby. Healthy Mom, Healthy Baby.... is the goal.

Overall, I did enjoy the class. It makes me feel a bit more ready for this, about as ready as anyone can be that has never given birth that is. I also think Ryan is a bit more prepared, learning ways to help me get through it, and the best ways to be there to support me. I really think that was valuable.

I know nothing will be perfect, but I want this experience to be the best that it can be... I mean, you only give birth a few times in your life, wouldn't you want it to go the best it can?

Leaving from the class Saturday gave me some peace of mind on some items and of course some anxiety. BUT.. everyday I'm bringing those together to try and remind myself that it will be here soon, and be over before I know it. IT does have an end.

I'm just ready to hold my little boy... so however he comes into this world, however we get him here... THAT will make me happy.

Weekend Review: Our new house guests

2013-09-03T08:24:00.000-04:00

This weekend seemed to fly by. It was a long, relaxing one. I honestly didn't think I did alot, but I did. I just didn't over do myself, like I tend to do. I got a lot done around the house, so I'm pleased with that.

Friday we had our ultrasound, and baby boy is weighing in at 4 pounds and 11 ounces, 83% tile if I remember correctly. He went down a little in %, which was good the doctor said, but he is still bigger then normal. Overall though, he is perfectly healthy, and "is a great looking baby" as the doctor said. Now that I pretty much feel that the nursery is complete, I AM READY FOR THIS BABY.

Yep, I said it... I am about as ready as I can be. Maybe, just excited to see him and meet him, and well, lets be frank, NOT be pregnant anymore. 32 weeks this week, and it still feels like an eternity, but is only 7 weeks until 40... (gasp)

We didn't many good pictures of little man, he was being super stubborn (just like his dad already) and wouldn't move, he had his face buried and hands cover his face. We did get one picture that you can see his cute little nose and lips.

I just love looking at my baby boy!

Side profile of him (he is looking down the left)

Kayden at 19 weeks compared to 31 1/2 weeks

Saturday my husband came home with some new house guests. He was over at a friends who recently cut down a tree and happen to find a nest of baby... wait... ok... squirrels.

Yes, baby squirrels. We started with 4, but unfortunately, are down to 3, and more then likely will be down to 2. Two of the babies fell out of the nest inside the tree when the tree fell, we believe they suffered some internal injuries, they just aren't as lively as the other two who were still in side the tree. We figured out they are about 5 weeks old. They are JUST opening their eyes, so we have to still hand feed them. They are cute I must say. It's not everyday that you can hold a baby squirrel. I am interested to see how they turn out when they get older. We haven't decided 100% what will be done with them, whether we release them or not... I mean, how cool would it be to have a pet squirrel?! BUT... they are wild animals, so at this point, were just trying to make sure they live and grow. Hopefully, we can get the other one (who we think is hurt) to begin to eat more, but it is a struggle. We can't say that we haven't tried for them.

Aren't they just the cutest?!

What a week!

2013-08-30T10:28:00.004-04:00

This week has been... busy. To say the least. I have alot going on at work, and just alot going on at home. Stress is my word of the week.

Good news is, I have MOST of the baby stuff put away, and clothes are washed, but they are not put away, they are just laying in the crib. A whole crib full of clothes, piling over. This kid has plenty of clothes that is for sure.

I will be one happy camper when all those clothes are put away, and the nursery is complete. It's just not there yet. We also need to put his pack n plays and other items together. One thing at a time I suppose. I need 6 hands. We should have been made with 6 hands.

EVEN BETTER NEWS THOUGH...

Today I have half a day.. leaving at lunch to go get an ultrasound! Yippe! I am super excited to see the little man again, and see how much he as grown. I'll of course post pictures then. I hope that everything is going well with him, and he is growing how he should... oh the worries of becoming a mom! I know they will never end.

Well.. lots to do today... I'm out!

Baby Shower Highlights

2013-08-27T08:32:00.003-04:00

Some of the great pictures that describe my shower so perfectly...

Many, Many Cute baby clothes.

Awesome Koozies for the guys I designed.

Tons of great guests of family and friends who came to celebrate with us!

My love and I enjoying our day.

Tons of belly grabbing, to which I don't mind.

A gift from my husband, who is so sweet. The Willow Tree "Our Gift"

And many more noteworthy pictures displaying the total cuteness of my shower!

Weekend Review: Photoshoot & Shower!

2013-08-26T10:19:00.000-04:00

Saturday was one busy day for this momma to be. It started out with a maternity shoot with the hubs. That was a lot of fun. We did tons of pictures around the house, and I can't wait to see how they turn out. I have a few that I will post as teasers, because that's all I have right now! My friend Rebecca is our photographer and she just does fantastic pictures, I know they will come out awesome. (EEEk, can't wait)

I had my shower as well, which was amazing. I am so thankful for all our friends and family who came out to celebrate us bringing to the world this little boy! We got so much great stuff, that is going to help out so much. We played some games, opened up TONS of gifts, and had some awesome food. It was a relaxing day, and I couldn't have pictured it any other way. I will be getting the pictures from that up on my computer soon and will post some of the highlights in the next coming days. Stay tuned for that!

Now that I have had my shower, my living room looks like a tornado of cute stuff has gone through it. I've been organizing one thing at a time, and as of last night it actually started to look like my living room again. I started going through the clothes and preparing them for their first wash so I can organize and put them away then. THIS child will NOT need anymore clothes for awhile, that's for sure. HOLY CRAP he got alot of clothes. Just looking at the tiny little outfits and cuteness of it all makes me so so so excited. His room is coming alot great, and hopefully should have it completely finished within the next 2 weeks. That is my goal!

Reality has struck now that I have 9 weeks left. Yep, double digits now, wow. It's going to go so fast, and at times I'm ready for it to go fast, and yet, I'm scared to death. I guess that is an emotion every mom to be has, so much change is ahead of us.

BUT.... I know we have tons of great family and friends that will be there for us to help us out, that I know I can count on, and helps ease my anxiety on the whole, HOLY CRAP WE HAVE TO CARE FOR THIS TINY HUMAN BEING. No one ever knows what they are doing at first, and I think all parents STILL learn even as their children grow into adults. We do what we can, how we can, and that's what I keep telling myself. "You'll be a great mom, don't worry."

I can say that I am excited for Fall now though. Fall is my favorite season, and THIS Fall I have a lot to look forward to, BRING IT ON.

My sneak peak of some of our maternity shoot.

Update...It's FRIDAY!

2013-08-23T14:09:00.000-04:00

Woo hoo, we have reach Friday people.

**Quick update on my OB apt yesterday. Dr said that more then likely my problems are indeed my gallbladder and that is sounds VERY likely it is the cause of all my pain. The solution? Pretty much what I figured she would say, "there is not much we can do at this time." OK, so I knew that, I knew that I wasn't going to ask to have emergency surgery to have it removed that instant... but still, I just want to figure out WHAT these pains are. I will get some bloodwork done next week, and if I have another attack will then get an ultrasound. So, at this point... it's just continuing with this strict diet.

TOMORROW TOMORROW TOMORROW

Tomorrow is a big, exciting, fun filled day for me and the hubs. I will start tomorrow morning out by having a maternity shoot, and I am super stoked. I have my outfits picked out, hopefully they look ok.. if not oh well. I have a few spots in mind to take some pictures, and couple props. I can't wait to see how they turn out. I just LOVE pictures.

THEN, tomorrow afternoon is my BABY SHOWER! Yes, super super excited. I know it's just going to be a kick-ass one. Perfect weather, bbq, family, friends, and super cute baby stuff... and of course the guys (and probably some of the gals) will have beer on their list. It's just going to be a kick back time to celebrate this joyful time in our lives. I wouldn't say we like to do things big, but we like to do them on the bigger side then normal =)

My mom informed me it would be my last party she's throwing me (jokingly of course). No more graduations, showers, weddings... it kind of made me sad to think about it. Made me think how old I am now, that although every kid we have will be a big milestone, this is my last BIG MILESTONE in the sense of growing up. Unless I think about my 25 year anniversary or 50 etc, but what else really is there?

I love me some parties, so I will just have to think of a reason to have a big party in the future. I guess that's where I take over as Mom and begin throwing big parties for Kayden. His first birthday I am sure will be one to remember. I love to entertain, and not to brag, I think I'm pretty darn good at it from the food to the decorations to it all. It's just my thing.

Updates and photos will of course be shared then...

Going to relax tonight, in preps for a busy day tomorrow for this prego.

Enjoy your weekends everyone!

Tisk Task...

2013-08-22T08:39:00.002-04:00

A little bit here and there for you today....

Last night I spent most of my evening cleaning my house... and finally shredding up the zucchini thats been sitting on my counter forever now. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having our garden, but it's definitely a lot of work, and the vegetables always seem to come in and ripen at the WORST times. The times when I have a million other things to do. That's life.

I have my OB apt today. It's usually not that big of a deal for me, I mean they are quick 15 minute checkups that I do get to hear that precious heartbeat every time. Today though I will talk to her about the pains I have been having and see what they say. It kind of has me nervous, hopefully though it really isn't anything bad and I can laugh at myself after all of this. I'll keep ya up to date.

I had a dream last night that the baby was stretching in my stomach (nothing new, I was probably dreaming that because he has been just stretching my belly like crazy past couple days) anyway.. he stretched SO MUCH that his face was popping out of my belly! I could see every feature of his face. I screamed to Ryan to quickly come look. And the baby yawned and stretched and we could see all his cuteness, yes in my skin on my belly. Kinda creepy if you really think about it, but I think it was just me being so excited to see what he is going to look like. I just can't wait to hold his little self.

THIS Saturday is my baby shower, and I am SO SO SO SOOOOO excited! It's going to be a perfect day, with the weather going to be beautiful and being able to spend the day with all my family and friends. It's going to be a fun time, I can't wait to share about it afterwards.

Before my shower I am having a Maternity photo shoot! I am also, very excited for this! We are having photos done by my friend Rebecca who also did our 1 Year Anniversary photos last year. I just LOVED those photos and I knew she would do a spectacular job with my maternity shoot. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. I also have a few things up my sleeve for it too. I know they will turn out great, hopefully she'll get my good side, you know, my belly, not my growing ass ;)

So much going on this week has my anxiety (in a good way) going up! Just got to finish cleaning up my house tonight and I'll feel better!