Life Wrapped In Lace

A gravel path to finding my way.

2012-01-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

It never dawned on me until recently. I just always beat myself up for not understanding or remembering basic things. Directions. Board game rules. Material for an exam.

I will read about photography until my eyes descend into a weary sleep. When I awake or put it into practice, I can't remember what I've read. Michael will say to me, you've been doing this for a year, how can you not know this yet?

Before you go thinking you shouldn't hire me for your wedding, be aware that I always find a way to get to the finish line. It just seems that I take the long and hard route to get there.

It never entered my mind that I could have a learning disability. I've never really spoke about it to anyone, just sat in frustration when I couldn't understand something. I would lock myself in a corner at my University library reading the same bloody sentence, over and over again and not understanding what I was reading. So, I would do whatever I could to survive those challenging years. I made up poems and rhymes to help me remember content for an upcoming test. I got my degree. Most of my high marks came from my writing assignments as I excelled in that department but when it came time to recite back what I had learned in the form of an exam, I froze. I remember after our exams, my friends chirping about how easy it was and I silently cried inside: I so failed that exam. I would smile back and agree about how simple it was! When I think back to those days, even school marks were a competition with women.

Michael says it's not so much that I don't understand. He says that my mind never stops and so instead of absorbing the present, I am thinking ahead to what will happen next. This bodes well for me on a wedding day, as I am always prepared for what events are about to unfold.

Photography is a lot of numbers. I'm not a math person at all, yet oddly enough when I was younger, I excelled. Until Grade 13 Finite math entered my world. That quickly ruined my love of numbers and I dropped the course. I find myself frustrated when I am not understanding why the camera does what it does. A friend of mine asked me...is it necessary to know when you produce gorgeous photos, despite being unsure of the fill flash, ISO, shutter speed and aperture equation? It is necessary for me to know, to get it, to have an a-ha moment. I've had so many of those in my life. I will do something until I am blue in the face until one day it sinks in.

Sometimes it never sinks in. I always find myself directionally challenged, although living in Toronto certainly surprised me, I was rocking the north south east and west like I was born there. When you grow up in a small town, everything is left or right at landmarks. So I have come quite far. Until you put me in a new city and ask me which direction west is. I still don't know. But as my mom said, this is why God created GPS!

I once had a nasty relative tell me that it was discussed that it was a good thing I was cute, because I didn't have a brain in my head because I always got lost. And yet at the time, I lived on my own in Toronto, headed up an ISO 9001 2 year project for our company to become certified, landed a $60,000 a year job in the financial district, and still was the only one in my family to have a University degree.

My younger cousins are now graduating with degrees and I am so proud of them as I know the dedication and hard work it takes to obtain it. To this date, my degree is something I am most proud of (besides my marriage). I worked hard at it and it hangs on my wall. It gets me places I would have otherwise been turned away from and it's something that can't be taken away. I earned it, I worked hard, I had many sleepless nights fearing I would fail...and yet 15 years later, I have the same fears with my new business.

I remember a scene with Cameron Diaz in the movie In her shoes. She was working in retail and being yelled at because she couldn't understand the cash or the amount of change to give someone. She was so frustrated and sought a life working as a stylist with older people in a retirement community. That was something she was good at.

In a way, we all find ways to survive in life. Some of us are not social creatures yet find a way to survive at office parties, family events and social functions. Some of us are not creative and yet we find a way to help our children with a school project. Some don't do well at school and yet go on to run successful companies. Some of us are directionally challenged and yet we find our way.

I second shot a wedding in Owen Sound this past summer. My worst fear happened. I was left alone on a massive golf course, to find my way to the 15th hole where the 12 guys were. I literally wanted to cry as the main photographer drove off with her friend to photograph the girls. There I sat on the golf cart with my camera gear and a fast beating heart. I took a breath and told myself that I could do it. I was yelled at by someone for driving by when they were teeing off. Woops. I didn't know the rules. I've golfed once in my life.

I cursed every four letter word you can imagine when I found myself driving on a gravel road with dumpsters along the way. This can't be right, I thought to myself. Fuck. I was off the golf course and on the main road. I am chuckling about it now because somehow I found my way, but it felt like my world was caving in. The photographer reminded me that this was something I would have to do if I wanted to be a photographer. Anything can happen and you have to find your way. And I did.

When I was small, I was at a restaurant with my family. I went to the washroom and walked into the kitchen instead of the bathroom. The kitchen staff laughed and this is something silly I have always carried with me. To this date, in a restaurant, I need to find where the washroom is before I will go. We all have our idiosyncrasies and it strikes me as odd that I can stand up and be in charge of an entire wedding, yet a memory so tiny from my past haunts me. On my first date with Michael, when I left the washroom, he was waiting for me outside to walk me back to our table. I knew he was a keeper.

When I start to panic in a situation, I find ways to survive. One of the first weddings I second shot, I was having issues with my camera. It was not in my best interest to ask another photographer for help, as it made me appear that I didn't have a clue about what I was doing. He offered me a piece of advice that I held onto for dear life. The shutter speed must be at least the maximum length of the lens. I stored that information in the front of my brain and shot at 1/200th of a second for most of the ceremony without any camera shake. I survived my first ceremony and it was because I found a way. When I get lost, I quickly remember landmarks to find my way back. When I'm in a situation that I'm not familiar,
I find a way to blend into the crowd, whether it's making rude jokes with the groomsmen, or talking nails and fashion with the bridesmaids, or listening intently to a grandparent recount their story.

I may not be a traditionally smart person. I can't remember what I study. I suck at math. I don't understand rules to a board game until I've played a few times. And I certainly still get lost from time to time.

But one thing you can be assured of. I will always find my way. Even if I take the long and difficult gravel path to get there.

Believe in yourself.

Love,

Wendy

A week in pictures.

2012-01-27T09:14:00.000-08:00

A daily run down.

2012-01-24T09:04:00.000-08:00

This is usually the run down of my day: check facebook, email, pinterest, edit, get distracted by facebook updates, think how much I suck, then get a wedding request and think how far I've come, facebook, check wedding photography sites, talk to my dog, save inspiration albums, check out tutorials, laundry, compare myself to photographers, think how much i suck, get sweet texts from my friends telling me i don't suck, eat, edit, read, stress, make lists, check off lists, check bank account, cry, check facebook and email, worry about the future, hug my husband, go to sleep and then repeat.

This morning I awoke to four wedding requests for 2012. Today I feel I suck a bit less, but there is still laundry. Always laundry.

Every day I'm shufflin'.

Chirping birds.

2012-01-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

My old friend Jordan and I used to joke that there were some people we could only hang around if there were three people. Do you ever find some relationships easy and free flowing yet others, when trying to converse are like getting water from wood? Impossible?

I'm naturally an introvert which surprises many but the definition is not how social you are, it's how you recharge your batteries in your down time. Extroverts recharge by being around people constantly. Introverts recharge a little more low key. After a weekend of events, my inner introvert emerges and I spend some time alone, at home or just with my family. It's where I am at peace.

I'm not sure what it is about me that feels the need to make everyone feel comfortable. When there are awkward silences, I feel it is my job to quip a goofy remark, just to fill the sound of the imaginary chirping birds in the room. Why is that? Others are quite comfortable with one word answers and then silence and eventually, my energy gets so low that the old expression 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em' kicks in.

When I am the person in the room that knows nobody, I walk around and find a way to fit in. This does not come easily for me but it's something I'm good at. My girlfriends and I always find it strange when others are not inviting. We are so inviting and welcoming when someone new comes to a party or is invited into our circle. It is never easy being the new person. I somehow feel it is my role to bridge any awkward silences, and it usually comes with a nervous joke at my own expense.

Laughing at myself usually seems to ease people. Yesterday, I photographed some successful and well to do women. I posed them for a group shot and there was a silence in the room.

Chirp chirp chirp.

I felt the need to let them all know I hate when people look at me and here I was, telling them all to stare straight at me and smile. This resulted in fits of laughter and I got the candid shot I was looking for.

Do people naturally take on social roles? Do some humans feel responsible for everyone and everything, including their mood and comfort level and others just naturally are not as affected?

I wonder.

Baby Kennedy has arrived!

2012-01-22T05:24:00.000-08:00

Shiny little gem.

2012-01-20T07:21:00.000-08:00

I received this beautiful note and necklace in the mail yesterday from a woman who I've yet to photograph. We don't know each other but have become familiar through a mutual friend. It is random acts of kindness such as these that inspire me and allow me to believe that good outweighs evil in life.

A few photographs to summarize my week.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love,

Wendy

2012 Calendar

2012-01-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

I have decided this year to limit the amount of weddings and events I am shooting. Last year, I said yes to every opportunity and that was amazing but sometimes it's just as important to find out what it is you don't want as it is what you do want.

In between courses, projects with other photography teams and consultations/follow up meetings/rehearsal dinners, here is my schedule so far. My goal is to take on 10 to 12 weddings per year. There are 6 booked and 6 in the midst of deciding to book.

As always, I feel that less is certainly more. By booking less, I will be able to spend more time with the entire creative process. It is my goal to give my clients an unbelievable experience from beginning to end; not just showing up on their wedding day and mailing a disk of images months later.

Time is passing. Minutes are fleeting. Book your date soon. Spots are limited.

Love,

Wendy

Decoding life.

2012-01-19T07:56:00.000-08:00

Someone yesterday told me they think I have decoded life. In a world full of confusion and wonder, we sometimes find ourselves asking: what's the point of it all?

What's the password to figuring it out?

I've hardly got it figured out. I have a lot to still learn and live. But to my friends who have endured past hardships, I always say to them, be thankful for where we are and what we've been through. It only makes us thankful for the present.

I know at this very time in my life, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It all happened as it should have. I didn't understand so many times but I understand now. And I'm grateful.

Stop trying to figure out the point of it all and just live in the now. Sometimes, we can't see a point unless it's in reflection. It's only when we look in the rear view mirror that we understand why things happened the way they did.

This is why I write. And photograph. Life swiftly moves from one day to the next and we forget.
But it's only when looking back on where we've been that we realize how far we've come.

Life. Decoded.

Love,

Wendy

xo

Luca's Baptism.

2012-01-18T16:06:00.000-08:00

Keep breathing.

2012-01-17T06:12:00.000-08:00

We proceed, curiously but cautious. Whether we are 15 and on our first date, or 70 and trying to find companionship.

All afraid of the same thing: a broken heart.

Yesterday I found myself giving advice to three completely different demographics, all going through the same thing. Trying feverishly to get over the pain of an ex boyfriend, husband or deceased spouse. Trying to figure out the mystery of dating, who pays for what, when to call, deciphering the cryptic messages that are left....even though they claim they don't play games but we find ourselves wondering, what did he mean by that?

It's all so exhausting, painful, frustrating. All in hopes that we find that love we read about, dream about, long for. All we can do is keep breathing.

And never give up. No matter what.

A beautiful Mrs.

2012-01-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

Mrs. K called me 3 months ago to schedule a boudoir shoot. You just never know who is going to show up to your door. Clearly, she made my job easy. A few tame shots from her shoot yesterday and the rest will be private memories for her and her lucky husband.

Enjoy!

Strive and struggle.

2012-01-13T07:05:00.000-08:00

Our anniversary came and went without much celebration. We have both been sick for the past couple of weeks. I knew the rest of this month was going to be busy so we worked furiously at getting better, getting well, getting strong.

This weekend brings two wedding consultations, a baptism shoot and a boudoir session. Much thought and preparation go into all of these areas of photography. I have inspiration folders and notes for each client and although the shoots themselves usually are quite spontaneous, it makes me feel better to be well prepared. Luck favours the well prepared, right?

Recently, I had a bride direct me to several photos I had taken and ask if we could do that for her wedding. I found this so interesting, as the photographs she had pointed out, were literally taken without any foreshadowing; like the bride by the toilet stalls, the cat on the wedding shoes and the grooms dancing in their underwear.

As much as it is important to plan, it's also equally important to not overthink the moment and just shoot it. Sometimes I find that although technically incorrect, my earlier work showed more creativity, as I didn't really have a clue about the technical side of photography when I first bought my camera.

A year into this beautiful circus of photography, I have found a way to intertwine my creative soul with my compulsive need to plan and learn. I still strive and struggle, but isn't that the nature of an artist? To always improve, want better, create different?

Through strive and struggle, I never quit. And that's something I'm proud of.

I'll be waiting.

2012-01-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

Love this chick.

I'll be waiting.

Be still.

2012-01-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find yourself, in the deep and dark hours of the wee morning, lost in a cesspool of negative thoughts? What is it about that time of night/morning that makes everything so scary? We don't have those same thoughts or fears at 9 in the morning. Or do we? Are our thoughts burrowing deep within our subconscious, only to emerge when we've finally allowed ourselves to be still? As we lay our weary heads down in exhaustion, it is the negative thoughts that keep us awake at night. I play a mental game of ping pong, where the thought pops up and I try to squash it down, telling myself if I want to get some much needed rest, I will have to rest my mind. And be still.

It's harder than it seems. Oddly enough, last night I awoke at 3 am. I reached for my phone as if in familiar habit. You know, to check if the world had ended or something extraordinary that would cause me to rise from the warm snuggles of my husband. This had better be good I say to myself as the screen lit up with emails and text messages.

I discovered my girlfriend was also awake and also thinking similar thoughts. She mused to me: I wonder....is everyone truly forgettable? Are there not people in your life that you're like NO!! I really need this person in my life and I can't just forget them.

I recently read an article on teenage girls and Facebook, and how even if nothing detrimental was written about them, their mood became very unstable when looking at it. I'm 35 years old and still developing a sense of self so how could a 14 year old possibly know the difference between the sincere and the bullshit?

It is my opinion that our gadgets are turning us into emotionless, over-sensitized robots, never allowing us to sit still....to just be....to reflect.

Our minds are constantly cluttered and distracted. We are not allowing ourselves to really feel, to miss someone, to ponder, to take accountability....in place of that time it takes to do such things, are our phones, emails, texts, tweets which fill in the time, and I guess essentially keep us company.

If this is true, and we are never truly alone, if at the press of a button we have someone to respond to our question or need, then why are so many of us walking around lost and empty?

Social media is very addicting, but as one teenager said to her mother, she is glad she has time restrictions on it....because it's a waste of a life.

Take time and reflect. Quiet your thoughts. Rest. You'd be surprised how much truth you can seek when not distracted.

Be still.

Love,

Wendy

What do you get.....

2012-01-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

What do you get when you put two husband and wife photography teams together in a room; one specializing in food and blogging, one I.T. guru and two perfection-seeking photographers?

You get a variety of opinions, knowledge-sharing and ideas.

This was the case yesterday when Geminie Photography came to our home to discuss some exciting upcoming projects.

Stay tuned. It's going to be a fabulous year.

Be my valentine.

2012-01-06T18:49:00.000-08:00

This was an unplanned boudoir shoot and sort of just happened in between wardrobe change of my new years eve photo shoot with my girlfriends. It was all very unglamorous on a portable set just thrown up in my kitchen but when you book a boudoir shoot, it is totally the opposite. It is comfortable, fun and comes complete with some of Michael's gourmet snacks, (he does not stay for the boudoir shoot...just cooks and leaves lol), unlimited poses and wardrobe changes and a fully edited disk for you to print at your leisure. I have a few planned for January as there are some ladies that want tasteful and beautiful photos for either themselves or a spouse. The last woman who booked one of these, let me know that the entire experience was one of the best of her life. She was going through some life changing events and needed these photos as a reminder of how fabulous she was. Contact me if you would like to book your session!

Love,

Wendy

Untitled.

2012-01-06T07:26:00.000-08:00

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love,

Wendy

Spring Fever

2012-01-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

I think being cooped up this winter has made everyone lately all go a little stir crazy! Too much time to think is not usually a good thing. I'm looking forward to my first weddings in the spring season in a few short months. Until then, I will soon be unveiling some projects with an upcoming team of four photographers, as well as a few small surprises.

I'm missing the pastel beauty of the spring. The countdown is on.

Love,

Wendy

The power of two.

2012-01-04T08:39:00.000-08:00

Michael always says things always happen in three's and told me to leave the oven off last night, as I was hastily trying to put something on for dinner. He called me from the side of the road and had let me know he had hit a huge pot hole and ruined his tire and rim. The night before, we had an oven fire and he just felt that we shouldn't use the stove since it hadn't yet been checked or serviced.

I called CAA last night, only to find out, oh shoot, they said, our membership had just expired. Fortunately, Michael's dad was nearby, came to help him with the tire (made him watch and learn how to change a tire, thanks John!) and he made it home safely.

Last night, I had the wickedest case of stomach flu. You know when you feel like death has hit you and at that moment, you have a conversation with God, begging and pleading to never worry about the small things and just please please make you feel better? Yeah. That was me. I awoke this morning groggy and weak, but feeling a bit better.

The plan was to drive Michael over to drop his car off to get fixed. He's in sales and on the road for a living so it needs to be attended to immediately. He can't take my car as I have a meeting with a future bride and her mom a little later today. We got in our cars, he drove away with the dummy tire on and I sat shivering in confusion as my cold car wouldn't start. Of course the CAA membership that I had reactivated last night, wasn't valid for 48 f***ing hours.

No worries. I know how to use jumper cables. Black on negative, Red on positive. Too bad the cables were stuck in the trunk of my car, which was frozen shut. No worries. I got the old hairdryer out on an extension cord and Macgyver'ed my way to getting the cables. I have a hatchback car. I suppose I could have simply leaned in, pushed the seat forward and got in that way. That would have been too easy to think of. I guess I like taking the hard way around?

All is fine, all worked out. It always does. I'm just thankful I have someone to call or help. So many things like this would happen when I lived in Toronto and I used to pray that my life would get easier. Like the time my appendix almost burst and I went in surgery alone. Then my car got snowed in and I wasn't allowed to park on that side of the street, nor was I allowed to lift anything heavy (snow) for six weeks.
Or the time the tree fell on the live wire during the rain/ice storm right over my apartment. Like the time my sticker had expired, my car broke down, the landlords went away and shut the heat off on me, I had bronchitis, and the tow truck wouldn't tow my car because the sticker was expired. Not only that, he started to call me and show up to my apartment because he knew the landlords were not home. The time my fan caught on fire and I slept in that smoke filled place anyways. The time that huge bird flew in my window and knocked everything over, shitting all over everything it could find. The time my drunk ex boyfriend put the kitten on the roof and then peed in his laundry basket. The three years I spent in court, never so much as having a speeding ticket but not properly screening a crazy roommate with a wicked temper. The power outage, having no gas to get to my moms, no money, and nowhere to go. My ex boyfriend's girlfriend going missing and then, found dead and the investigators wanting to speak to me. It just went on and on. The dramas and the horrors.

My poor mother.

With my past behind me, but just far enough in sight for me to remember, I am thankful that a silly flat tire can be tended to so easily. Although a minor headache, I have someone to share those bumps in the road with. Someone who will never leave me stranded. Someone I can always call.

I am thankful there are two. I waited so long for two. The power of two.

Michael has saved me in so many ways. He saved me from loneliness, from pain and has helped me to deal with my inner demons and let me shine the way I'm meant to. It's still a battle, but with him in my corner, I surely can't lose. It's so comforting to know that you are not alone. Never alone again.

I love you Michael. We are approaching our two year wedding anniversary this Saturday and I still maintain that it was the happiest day of my entire life. So thankful for you and our life together. There will always be struggles on this journey but with you by my side, we will make it through. Together.

Love,

Wendy

Is it a crime?

2012-01-03T06:29:00.000-08:00

The amazing J* said she would never call someone out on copying them, because it happened to her and it was mortifying. Would you say anything?

I know we are all guilty of being inspired and all photographers keep an inspiration album with their favourite images, to do exactly what the name suggests: inspire.

At what point though, do we take that inspiration and make it our own? Is it possible to look at other's work and not blatantly copy it? Do we better develop our style when we don't view someone else's photos and style?

Is imitation really flattering? I suppose so early in the game I should be flattered that someone is emulating my style and at first I didn't really notice until a few pointed it out. But when your poses, your words, your editing style and right down to the font in your logo and client thank you cards are the same, it starts to irk a nerve. Sometimes it's as if this person has my photo up on the screen while editing their own work because if you did a side by side comparison, you can't help but cringe from discomfort.

A very young and talented photographer once said that her boss was doing everything to recreate an award winning shot she created, from scouting the location, to the pose, to the outfits. It's one thing to be inspired. It's totally another scenario to downright steal the entire shot.

Do we as artists continue to change our brand to shake off the copycats, striving always to be one step ahead? Or do we hope that our fans will recognize an original from a fake? Or does it even matter?

I was shooting with another photographer this past year. I wouldn't say either of us were first or second shooters. We were both hired for different purposes as main shooters. When he would set up a shot, I so badly wanted to come up behind and take a photo but I honestly felt like I was stealing his moment that he thought of, set up and posed. So I trudged along and waited for them to finish while I planned my next shot; a little out of respect but mostly about pride.

I used to look to everyone else's work and go mad with envy. I wanted to be like them, shoot like them, edit like them, own their fancy gear. I just found it frustrated me and I couldn't get their ideas out of my head. I would shoot with them in mind, stifling and squashing any of my own creative ideas.

It's not a crime to copy, but it is a crime to steal. Where is the dividing line in the artistic world?

What are your thoughts?

Photo credit: People Magazine.

A New Year's Day kitchen fire, and a dog named Jack.

2012-01-02T10:39:00.000-08:00

I never nap. I always feel guilty that there is too much to do and can always find a way to make better use of my time. Yesterday was an exception. We vowed to sleep in after a late night on New Year's Eve, but I awoke early and cleaned up a bit. For the first time during Michael's holidays, he was able to sleep without an alarm going off. Noon approached and he awoke to do what he loves to do....make food, photograph it and write about it. It was maybe 3pm and my eyes were feeling heavy. Everything was done, the sheets freshly laundered, the day miserable outside.

I crawled into my clean sheets, glanced out my window at the fiercely blowing trees in the forest behind our home. I sighed a sigh of contentment. And then I remembered in our drunken stupor the night before, we had forgot to say a goodnight prayer. I lay in bed at 3pm, belly full and thankful for this lovely home of ours. I said a little prayer to God and thanked him for giving us so much and as always, asked for protection for our loved ones from any harm.

I was lost in the sea of warm and heavy duvet and awoken rather abruptly. Jack, my normally skittish yorkie poo who never jumps on the bed or comes to us when called, was whimpering on my chest, his wet nose nudging my chin awake. I groggily opened my eyes, surprised and wondered what he was doing. Michael then called up to me and I could hear the smoke alarm sounding as it often does when I cook, but rarely when Michael has the kitchen reins.

I came downstairs to see him on the phone, looked over to our oven and saw an inferno inside the glass window. In the same calm tone that Michael had when he called me to tell me he was in a bad car accident, I could hear him methodically explaining to the fire department that we had a fire. I am so the opposite of calm. I screamed at him: WHY ARE YOU SO CALM?? TELL THEM IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!!!

The house was filling with smoke, the cat ran outside, the alarms were going off and having been through this before, I knew we had to GET OUT. In a moment of panic, you literally are thinking to yourself, OH MY GOD, did I grab everything of value? My animals? My memory album my mom made me? I had visions of the house exploding. Michael was standing in front of the stove and I was bawling that we had to leave. Do you know what that feels like to leave your house but knowing there is a fire inside? Jack was shaking and wouldn't come to us when we called him. He rarely lets us pick him up without growling but Michael scooped him up, jumped into the car and drove me to my friend's house up the street. I flung the door open and exclaimed that my oven was on fire. I was shaking and scared and my calm friend soothed me and said: You have insurance. Then she said it again but almost in a question form: You have insurance right? I came outside to see four fire trucks parked in front of my other friend's home. I yelled at them: YOU'RE AT THE WRONG HOUSE!!!!!

Michael came down the street and said they were inside and that the firemen told him the best case scenario was that he did not open the oven door. The oven itself acted like a woodburning stove, where the lack of oxygen eventually extinguished the fire inside.

I had a fire at my old apartment. I came home to find the entire 500 square feet engulfed in smoke. My fan had caught fire and I was alone. It was not safe to stay there but I had nowhere else to go so I slept in that stinky apartment for days like that.

All I kept thinking yesterday was that I had prayed hours before for protection. In this world where our brains are so full of clutter, stimuli and fleeting garbage, basic knowledge floats to the surface in an emergency. What to do differently when there is a black bear or a brown bear. What to do when your car is sinking in water. How to put out a fire depending if it's electrical or grease.

We naturally think of water and fire, right? Sometimes we need a reminder of what not to do so that basic information floats to the forefront of your decision when in a panic-stricken emergency.

I hope this video will help if you are ever in this situation. I received so many emails already when I posted this on Facebook that people automatically would think to throw water on this type of fire.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3r7cRl6kc4

We ordered takeout last night, and marvelled today at the burnt remnants of bread that had caused such an inferno. My friends joked they will buy us a toaster. My mom said she may even buy Jack the wonder dog (not her favourite animal) a treat for Christmas next year. He stayed close to me all night, as if his animal instinct knew that I was shook up. Or maybe he was afraid.

I find it amazing that our pets are not only companions, but often times life savers.
They intrinsically try to warn us of danger and are loyal even in the scariest of situations.

Michael often teases me when I check, double check and triple check things like candles, hair straighteners and the coffee machine being plugged in. After yesterday's scare, I doubt this will change. I'll continue to pray at night for protection. I'll continue to praise our animals when they do something good. And I'll be damn sure to be thankful that we live 2 minutes from the fire and police departments.

Stay safe,

Love,

Wendy

Happy New Year!!!

2012-01-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

I ended 2011 off with a photoshoot of my girlfriends, a lobster dinner with my husband and a party with friends. I hope whatever you did and whomever you spent it with was enjoyable, memorable and filled with laughter, photographs and love.

Cheers to an amazing year ahead.

Love,

Wendy

Make it count.

2011-12-30T11:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it takes a while to find your groove. Everything new has it's bumps, whether it's a relationship, a change in career, a blended family and in my case, all of the above. When I was a child, there seemed to be nobody in my class that had divorced parents. Kids would ask me in confusion why I was packed to stay with my dad on a weekend. My family tree had 8 grandparents. Today, it's more the norm than not that parents are divorced, remarried and blended.

I remember as a child, coming home and telling my mom how pretty and cool my stepmom Sue was. Later in life I would learn that this woman had an affair with my dad; my dad who broke my mother's heart, and I think to myself how I as an adult would handle my child telling me how fun and cool my ex's mistress was. It couldn't have been easy for her. My father went on to remarry. And remarry again. And then again. But that's a different story and this story is not about him.

My mom met someone who we lived with for 20 years. I never really looked to him as a father and he never tried to be one. My mom made it perfectly clear that she was the boss of me, not him, and I think these are the struggles and disciplinary boundaries that stepparents face. He had two boys as well and it was just all so confusing for all of us.

Years later, my mom remarried. I was ecstatic as she had been alone for several years and I could tell she was struggling with the loneliness. I was living in Toronto and tried to come home as often as I could, but I was also dealing with my own life issues and struggles.

When my mom met Vern, it was an adaptation for all of us, but mostly I believe the hardest on his daughter. His wife had passed away of cancer, his son lived out west and here he was marrying this new woman and in tow came her daughter and family. I was single at the time and we all spent our first Thanksgiving together before they were married at Vern's family cottage. I was in heaven. I finally had the sister I never had. We were all cooking together and spending time at a beautiful cottage. I guess I never realized that 32 years of tradition in a family must be hard on someone who is thrown into a new family and new customs and traditions.

Years have passed and we've been together as a family for 7 years. It has had it's trying moments. I had to adapt to a strong and opinionated man who also had to adapt to someone with a mind of her own. He came into a brand new family, much different than his own. Michael came into the picture and tried to smooth over family issues. My mom was trying to make everyone happy and Vern's daughter was just trying to accept all these changes. It's been difficult. Michael too has a blended family with a stepdad who has been in the picture for years. There was no doubt in our minds when we asked our parents, because that's what they are whether blood or not, to stand up for us at our wedding in Mexico.

When my aunt passed away last year, something hit me like a thud. My entire life changed and I vowed for it to change. Too many wasted and bitter years arguing about nonsense and I realized that I may only have limited time with my own mother and family. My life has changed for the better this past year, but only because I took hold of it and discarded the bullshit, took accountability for my own actions and surged onward and upward to greater things.

This Christmas morning, the five of us sat in my mom's living room. We always exchange cards, stockings and then gifts, followed by a breakfast and then a dinner. Every year has been different with traditions. Sometimes we've gone to different churches, we've gone to Vern's side of the family, which was awkward for my mom and I since it was his deceased wife's family.....but they opened their arms, hearts and home and welcomed my mom and I in, even more so than some of our blood family. When Michael came into the picture, we had to alternate Christmas Eve and day with his mom and mine....as only children we have to be fair and take turns.

My step sister Christine opened the card I gave her and started to cry. I put pen to paper and let her know that it has been an absolute pleasure to spend the past years with her, and during the holidays especially. I let her know that I know all these changes must have been the hardest on her. After all, I had everything to gain from this new family, but she had lost so much.

She let us all know, that this was the first time she had looked forward to Christmas. We all started to choke up and I think this was the first time we were all in the same room at the same time, on the same page, with the very same feelings. My mom announced to us all that it has been hard on everyone, but that we are a family and this was our family. My mom had made Christine a memory album of her and her mom and there were more tears.

It hasn't been easy for any of us. Family dynamics are so complex as is, but when you add people into the mix who are not related but forced to behave like a family, it can sometimes be overwhelmingly difficult. I truly am thankful for everyone.....for my husband, for my mom, her family, her husband and his family, Michael's family, our friends, colleagues and neighbours. It's been a hell of a ride this year and let's face it, every year has it's challenges, but as the new year rings in and we are at the dawn of new beginnings, it's important to take stock of those that you love and whether related or not, we must always make time for our family.

Without family, what's the point really? We're all we've got.

Happy new year to all of you, and from my family to yours, make this year count.

Love always,

Wendy

xo

A meeting of urgency.

2011-12-29T09:31:00.000-08:00

I got a text message that had somewhat of an urgent tone in it, or at least that's how I read it, because how can a text have any tone at all? My girlfriends and I try to have weekly tea. Two are stay at home moms, one works shifts and I'm usually home during the day editing. It's also convenient that we all live beside and across the street from each other. How it happened that our homes form a perfect square and we all became great friends, I can only leave that to lady luck.

Usually, if we set a time for tea, there is at least one of us who can't make, it. Too much editing, too many kids, too much work to do, not enough time during shifts. This time, the text message instructed us to all find a way to be there. And we did. There is something endearing about having a set time to meet. Michael and I often comment on the show Blue Bloods and how no matter what is going on in their busy law enforcing lives, they are to meet at family dinner every Sunday. And this is how it should be. We need to find and make time for important gatherings.

So, yesterday, the four of us girls found a way to get together. Kids hanging off our legs, tears about spatting spouses and freak outs from crashing computers. We were all there. I awaited a big announcement. Surely she wasn't pregnant again, the enitre two years I have known this friend, she has been pregnant. She wasn't moving and hadn't won the lottery she confirmed while I tried to guess the monumental reason we were all to meet up with no excuses.

Four gift boxes were presented to us at the same time with a neatly hand written note inside. The note explained a new way to try out high end cosmetic products and directed us to activate an account. My girlfriend then explained to us that she had bought us all a subscription to Luxe Box and that every month, we would each get a box in the mail of cosmetic samples to try. Based on a questionnaire we all filled out, we will all be sent different products to match our taste, skin, budget and style.

We all squealed in excitement. Who doesn't love receiving parcels in the mail, and makeup samples at that? This Luxe Box, my friend mentioned to us, was exciting but not the point of our meeting. A monthly parcel she quipped, was a way for us to all get together. We are not permitted to open our box until the four of us meet for tea (or wine). This way, we can share, exchange and ensure that there are no excuses to not meet up.

Life is not easy. We all know that's for damn certain. But my girlfriends and I have vowed to get through it together. We are all busy. There's always something more important that needs to be tended to. But when all is said and done, it is our loved ones and the time with them that truly warms our hearts, gives us memories and the strength to carry on in these crazy, crazy times.

Sandie, thank you for such a thoughtful gift. My friends have always been number one in my life. This past year, the only thing that was number one was my growing photography business. The new year brings new change, goals and resolutions. Some of us don't believe in resolutions as it's a surefire way to set ourselves up to fail. Others strive for unattainable goals. Whatever the case, whatever life may bring, we can always make time, at least once a month, for our girlfriends.

Love,

Wendy

Verses from my kitchen......

2011-12-24T09:49:00.000-08:00

......will be switching to Wordpress soon and hoping that the ads generated to Michael's 80,000 monthly viewers will make us a little extra income. Michael and I dream of photographing, writing, cooking for a living and buying a rustic farmhouse one day.

Merry Christmas to my husband Michael! I am looking forward to spending the holidays with our families and doing what we do best: laughing, eating, drinking, and marvelling in the love and joy we share with those dearest to us.

Check out some holiday recipes on Michael's blog. He has become quite the food photographer, writer and of course chef this past year. I'm so proud of him.

Verses From My Kitchen

From our kitchen to yours, Happy Holidays!

Love,

Wendy