Many of us who create for the web wear a lot of hats; most of the time this causes us to spread ourselves too thin. Occasionally, someone comes along who manages to balance so many of these skills while maintaining a level of quality that is intimidating. It seems as if they can do everything and that everything they do is exceptional. If you need an example, look no farther than designer, author, podcaster, product creator “general advocate of common sense,” Aaron Mahnke.

You wonder if people like Aaron have a secret, something that lets him do what we can’t. It turns out he does and it seems he’s finally sharing it with us all with his latest project, Frictionless. His new, free manifesto along with Capture Cards, offers a path towards a life without friction. A path that lets you do more and helps you do better.

Without any further ado, here’s some insight into how Aaron Mahnke manages to do so much while making it all look far too easy.

Creativity

Have you always considered yourself a creative person?

Creative? Sure. Talented? Not so much. I’m a problem solver by nature, and that’s basically a creative quality. I really enjoy taking rough, broken processes and ideas and retooling them until they work better.

At the same time, I suppose I fit the stereotypical notion of what a creative person is supposed to be like. I’m an artist and a writer. I’ve willingly taken pottery classes and sketched models. I’m at home with a palette of color and a blank canvas. And if I had the time (or a time machine), I would be learning an instrument of some sort. Probably drums.

What mediums and inspirations do you gravitate toward to realize your creative goals?

I’m far from being a pioneer, so I need to be around people and inspiration in order to pump up my creativity. You are what you eat, they say. So for me, time in conversation is a huge deal. My wife and I talk constantly, and it is in conversation that I verbally talk through problems, realize the absurdity of ideas and find encouragement in my latest pursuits.

Seeing other people do amazing things also gives me a kick in the pants. I’m capable of anything you throw at me. I believe this at the deepest level of my soul. I just happen to get in the way of myself too often. When I see others overcome the friction in their own life, it makes me want to do the same. It gives me permission to try.

If you had to point to one thing, what specific posts or creations are you most proud of and why?

Oh man. Just one thing? I have two kids; do you want to know which one I love more than the other? Just kidding!

I’m an idea guy, and there’s always something new brewing in my head. So sometimes what is most relevant at the moment feels like the most important. That’s not true, but it feels like it. A core idea in Scott Belsky’s book, Making Ideas Happen, is that the newness of ideas has a tendency to pull our attention away from the ideas that need seen through to the end. I’m proud of my books, and my design work, the Read & Trust Network, the Home Work podcast, and my brand new Frictionless project — all of it, really. But what I’m most proud of is the fact that I shipped them. Period.

Any suggestions for those who feel they may not be creative enough to unlock their inner artist?

Join the narrative. Find people who are doing what you would love to do and read their stories. Mine deep and far for the inspiration, and use it as fuel on your journey. And figure out what things or people or systems are keeping you from reaching your goals (that’s the “friction” I keep talking about) and remove them from your path.

Then, go create.

Productivity

Can you describe your current personal and professional responsibilities?

First and foremost I’m a husband and the father of two amazing and gorgeous little girls. So I’m responsible for making sure they have a place to live, food to eat and clothes to wear. Real-world responsibilities.

I manage all that by taking on a set of secondary responsibilities: I’m business owner, a logo designer, marketing designer, writer and business consultant. I spend my week helping people and businesses figure out how to communicate who they are and what they have to offer. I do this full-time, for pay, and with a glad heart. I love my job.

How do you go about balancing the personal, professional and digital?

I have the benefit of having a home office that is removed from the rest of the house about as far as it could be without being in the shed out back. So it has been really important to me over the years to treat the threshold of my office with honor and sanctity. When I step into my office, I’m at work. My family doesn’t disturb me, and I don’t wander out and do personal things.

But when my day is over, I walk out of the room and shut the door and work is left behind. Your calls and emails? I’ll get to them tomorrow. I have an amazing wife and two eager kids waiting to see me downstairs, and they get 100% of me.

Digital is tough. It’s like a stowaway rat in my pocket when I leave my office; a little bit of work is always right there with me. And I have a laptop that I bring down each night, just in case something massively important crops up. But yeah, the battle to keep the digital from encroaching into my family time is a constant one.

The rule in our house is that during normal family hours (basically whenever the kids are up and in need of attention), our phones are for emergencies only. My wife is better at obeying that rule than I am, but I’m getting there.

What tools and techniques do you find yourself counting on to get through your workload?

Planning. I plan everything. Go read David Allen’s Getting Things Done book and put some of those habits into practice. I don’t follow it to the letter, but I employ enough of it that I have removed a ton of friction from my productivity system.

One big thing is to always be ready to capture ideas or tasks. I use OmniFocus on my Macs and iOS devices, and that’s the central nervous system for my tasks. Everything I need to do gets tossed into there and organized by area of life (personal, work, side-projects), and given a context regarding how long it will take me to do it. I capture things on the computer, but also on index cards when I’m out and about. For that I keep a few Capture Cards cards in my back pocket, with a Fischer Space Pen (because you can sit on them all day and they’ll never leak).

And every night (Sunday through Thursday, really), I sit down with OmniFocus and a notebook and map out the next day. I plan everything out hour-by-hour, giving tasks 30- or 60-minute blocks of time. This does a couple of things for me. It helps me to go into my day with realistic expectations (I can’t overload a day if I’ve added up how many hours everything will take), and it helps me stay on track when the day gets crazy.

Plan to succeed, or you can plan on failing.

What is the best starting point for the unproductive amongst us, who are looking to get more organized?

Just stick a small notebook in your back pocket and start writing down things you need to do the moment you think of them. And then use that notebook to guide your choices. Most of us only accomplish 50% of what we’d really like simply because we never remember to do the rest. Don’t give yourself an excuse to forget. Write it down and keep it handy.

Oh, and the more complicated the tool, the more friction it adds. Find the basic, simple tools that work for you, like scraps of paper, index cards or a notebook.

Capture. Plan. Do.

Michael Schechter is a Mac geek who rambles about how technology impacts our productivity, our creativity and our lives. You can connect with him over on his blog Schechter or as @MSchechter on Twitter.

It is very easy to relax around other people’s children, but not so much around your own young ones — and by “young” I am speaking between the ages of 3 and 6 years old.

If you are a parent at a playground brimming with kids, and you suddenly hear a shrieking cry or the sound of an almighty temper tantrum, nothing is more relaxing at that precarious moment to find that the culprit is not your child.

But what if it is your child?

Are you the kind of parent who just freaks out? Are you constantly on a knife’s edge with merely the thought of your child potentially misbehaving, getting into accidents or creating an ungodly mess?

I certainly am.

However, I have gotten a lot better over the years by following these general guidelines:

Get Off Your Helicopter

It seems that the “helicopter” school of parenting has garnered a tremendous following in recent years. This style of parenting involves constantly hovering above your children, closely supervising every bit of their activities. While I understand the preciousness with which all parents regard their off-springs, such a modus operandi is not only suffocating for the kids, but can produce insufferable stress for the parents.

Having started out as a severe practitioner of this parenting method, I have gradually learnt that my two boys (aged 3 and 5) are actually much more resilient than they appear, that they do not need constant encouragement or positive sideline commentary when playing, and that the messes they create (whether on their bodies or around the house/car) are rarely irreversible.

More importantly, by getting off my “helicopter”, I have realised how much more I enjoy being around my children, and how less often my shoulders and neck strain from the anxiety of surveying their every move.

Respect the Kids’ Clocks

Some parents expect their children to promptly respond to commands. Unfortunately, children do not usually respond to a request the first few times (if at all). This naturally leads to the parent repeating the request (“brush your teeth”, “cleaning up your toys”, “turn off the TV”) again and again, with each iteration accompanied by increasing irritation. It has taken this long for me to realise, however, that my children are not deliberately defying me in such situations but are merely following their own internal clocks.

While I count the Greenwich-Meridian-based seconds after each request, ruminating as to why they are not responding, my boys usually hear the request but decide to attend to it after whatever it is they are doing at that time, be it assembling a Transformer kit, trying to cram a teddy bear into the kitchen drawer or playing an iPad app that I never knew I had. The point is, eventually, they do respond, just not in the timeframe that I autocratically expect. On the other hand, their tendency to respond markedly deteriorates the more I repeat the request because the repetition then becomes white background noise.

So, tell your kids what to do in firm fashion—contrary to some new-age thinking, I believe you have the right to do that as a parent. However, give the little ones a chance to respond in their own time. This will not only eliminate much angst but will help you avoid that dreaded “nagging parent” perception in your children’s eyes.

Breathe and Smile

Beyond their clocks, parents need to respect that children are little people with their own personalities and idiosyncrasies. Consequently, it is rare (in my experience anyway) that they will behave in a way that perfectly meshes with your own standard or emotional state. Once you accept that, the only way to relax around your children is to set the broad, non-negotiable limits and then allow your kids a free rein within those limits.

Of course, they will still do things within those boundaries that make you uneasy or anxious. However, that is where the “breathe & smile” technique comes in handy—a crude but powerful technique that invariably puts things in their proper context and makes you feel blessed to have children of your own.

Young children between the ages of 3 and 6 are, by their very nature, excitable creatures foreign to the concept of being “relaxed”—that glorious state in which they are so agreeable and malleable. One way they learn is by watching how their parents behave. So, instead of inadvertently having your agitated emotional state rub off on them, learn to relax around your children. It is good for them developmentally, great for their perception of your persona, and downright invaluable for your own emotional well-being.

(Photo credit: FAther and Young Son Fishing via Shutterstock)

I recently delivered a keynote at a conference on modern entrepreneurship. A new entrepreneur asked me, “What three things do you think I should do to start a successful business?”

While there are a million pieces of advice to give to any budding entrepreneur starting with a laundry list of books to read and people to speak with, and ending with  getting used to eating ramen for a year or two, below are the three essential actions that any new entrepreneur will need to truly flourish.

Doing one of these things will help you succeed. Doing all three will turbo-charge your new business and set you on the path to success.

1. Burn your ships

Imagine for a second that you are a warrior and that you have just sailed to enemy territory. Moments before you begin your attack your commander says, “before we attack we must burn our ships!”

How would you feel?

If you’re anything like me you would feel terrified. And motivated. Suddenly, the only way you would return home safely was through victory.

As a new entrepreneur, if you really want to succeed, then burn your ships. Resolve yourself to succeeding and eliminate all possible alternatives. Do not contact your old boss to see if you can come back. Do not toy with the idea of going back to school if you’re not cash flow positive after 6 months. Do not take a part time job that will make ends meet to relieve pressure. Instead take a loan and let the fear motivate you.

Commit to your own success by burning all of your ships.

2. Get a mentor

Now that you have burnt your ships, add an essential person to your team: a mentor. A good mentor will show you how to navigate failure and speed up your success.

How do you get a mentor? Think about where you want to be 10-20 years from now. Find someone who is there right now in your city and email him or her. Ask if you can take them out for coffee, lunch, breakfast, or anything that would be convenient for them for 15 minutes.

Once you setup the meeting spend 80% of the time listening. Contact them again a few months later giving them an update on your work and ask for another meeting. Continue repeating this process until you have developed a stable relationship.

3. Stay playful

It’s trendy to tell new entrepreneurs that life is easy if you’re passionate and committed to your success. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s true. While entrepreneurship is incredibly rewarding, it’s also an uphill battle for the first year or so.

The trick to surviving the turbulent start-up phase of business is to ensure that your life outside of your business is still playful and fun. Make sure that each week has at least one personal activity that you are truly looking forward to. This will revitalize you and give you more energy to channel into your startup.

Besides, life is too short not to have fun along the way.

Starting up is tough. In fact, most businesses bust before they ever even have the chance to become successful. Leverage the odds in your favor by burning your ships, getting a great mentor, and staying playful along the way.

Good luck!

(Photo credit: lamp head male writing something via Shutterstock)

As a lifelong fitness enthusiast, I know the great importance of proper nutrition. Still being able to maintain a 30 inch waistline in my middle age, I think that I should have enough proven credibility to give you a few tips on how to build healthy eating habits and make them stick.

Physical activity is only 50% of the overall health equation. The other 50% is nutrition. And without healthy eating habits, one will not be able to achieve good health and fitness.

So it does depend on what you eat, and in this modern age of convenience and rushed daytime schedules, it’s easy to eat unhealthy. So here are some areas to consider that will help keep you on the right health track.

Educate Yourself On Food And Healthy Eating Habits

In order to eat healthy, you have to understand which foods are actually healthy and which ones are not. Learn from reading nutrition books and websites. Maybe even consult a dietician to get you started.

Quite often, convenient foods are laced with too much salt, sugar and other ingredients, which are not considered healthy. These ingredients can often be hidden, so it is important as part of your education to learn to read food labels while at the grocer.

Learn what ingredients to avoid, as major components are usually listed first in the food labels. Also verify and compare fat contents since many food items — which are promoted as ‘low fat’ or ‘low calorie’ — might very well still be quite high in fat. Being educated on what is contained within various types of food will help you weed out much of the unhealthy food you otherwise might end up eating.

Learn To Substitute Foods And Ingredients

In the old days, healthy eating meant a diet of bland-tasting food. I still remember that veggie burger that tasted like cardboard.

Those days are thankfully gone as food technology has improved significantly. Many of the lower fat versions of food items (like cheese and frozen yogurt) taste just as good as their standard “full-fat” versions.

One can also still cook great tasting food at home by simply substituting some of the ingredients. For example, use olive oil instead of butter for frying. Reduce salt by adding spices instead. Choose leaner cuts of meat and trim off visible fat before cooking. Something that I’ve done over the years is to drastically cut down on red meats at home and increase my intake of fish and poultry. By learning some great recipes with fish and poultry, I really don’t miss red meat all that much.

One of the big areas to substitute is in snacking. Instead of candy bars or potato chips (or other junk food), try nuts or fruit. During the hot summers, I keep a supply of frozen grapes and if I feel the urge to nibble on something, I just grab one or two frozen grapes. Not only are these healthy, they are also refreshing during hot temperatures.

Keep Related Goals In Mind

In order to help you stick to healthy eating habits once you plan them, I find that it helps to keep related goals in mind. For example, each time I look in the mirror I make a point of looking at the condition of my abs. I want to maintain a half decent physical shape so what I see in the mirror is a constant reminder that I have to keep eating well.

When I see other people around my age group or even younger than me who are out of shape, I always observe that they are not eating healthy. They usually eat foods that are high in fat. Keeping observant with this helps me even more to keep away from bad eating habits since I don’t want to end up like those poor folks who have let themselves go in that department.

Another goal that is more specific is that I want to be able to perform well on the ski slope during the winter and maintain my martial arts all year round. I can generally tie in my overall performance levels in these sports back to my diet as one of the elements required. See if there are any related activities that you want to do well that you can somehow relate back to nutrition. Then keeping this top of mind will help you steer clear of bad foods.

After all, you don’t want to blame poor performance in your favorite activities partly on bad diet.

Be Around Others Who Eat Healthy

This last point is related to having others help you in your goals. Sometimes it’s hard to eat right when all of your friends, family members and co-workers eat unhealthy. So make sure that you spend time with other people who already eat well. This will help inspire you to eat healthy as well. You’re basically using teamwork to help you achieve the goal of eating healthy.

There’s really no magic in how to build healthy eating habits and make them stick. Good health is long term and the only way to achieve it is through all the little successes that add up when you have another healthy meal and finish another workout.

Follow the above tips — as I do each and every day — during your meals and snack periods to ensure optimum health.

(Photo credit: Woman Feeding Fresh Vegetables to Kids via Shutterstock)

Clint Cora is a motivational speaker, author & Karate World Champion based near Toronto, Canada. Get his FREE 3-part Personal Development Video Series on how to expand your comfort zone and finally conquer even your most daunting goals in life.

“I want to ban Facebook.”

This was the statement posed to me by my project manager at my new job. He personally doesn’t like the use of Facebook at work. His opinion is that it’s a time-sink, that employees aren’t being paid to surf on Facebook.

While one survey has shown the drop in focus and productivity with being on Facebook , there is a flip side to the coin. If you have a social media presence on Facebook, then yes, it is your job to be on Facebook. If you work with volunteers, then perhaps you need to be on Facebook during working hours to assist in coordinating schedules. Likewise if you’re in the marketing or sales departments.

Solving the wrong problem?

Even if these scenarios don’t fit your situation, some people will argue that it’s a management issue, not a technology issue.

“If you don’t want your people on Facebook during working hours, then tell them. If they can’t seem to follow that rule, then find somebody else who can.”

True, except for the cost and time of training them. Here’s the thing. If you block it on their computers, then they will simply access it on their phones. The time sink won’t go away, but simply move to another device. True, it’ll be easier to spot, but the core problem is still there.

Security Concerns

From an IT Security manager’s perspective, there are some valid reasons to block Facebook at work. Compromised Facebook (and Twitter) accounts are a current form of malware distribution. Today’s users know to not open email attachments from strangers, but a link that your friend sent to you via a Facebook message or direct message in your Twitter account? Well…that’s safe because you know that person.

Except it’s not.

I got caught with this one. It was in an email from my wife, who sends me links all the time. I opened it and my Yahoo account got compromised.

These things happen. People will argue that it doesn’t matter whether it’s Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus or some other site. You can still get compromised. The thing is, it’s a valid argument. SO we just block the entire Internet? Or do we load up the computers on the network with ten different anti-virus and anti-malware products and hope for the best, while our machines slow down to a crawl?

Is it a good thing that your employee may be banning Facebook? Possibly. There are some people who have lost their jobs over posting things to Facebook. This could also be because of comments like “I’m so bored.” Some managers will take that as a challenge and either bury you in work so that you won’t be bored anymore, or worse, they’ll simply fire you because you can’t seem to find something productive to do on your own. Both possibilities are bad. It’s similar to only sending funny jokes via email to your co-workers. The occasional funny joke is fine, but when it’s all you ever send them, it sends the wrong message. The one that says “You don’t have enough to do.”

So where do we stand?

The interesting thing is, the discussion is far from over on this issue. On the one hand, there’s the loss of productivity and the possible leakage of trade secrets, along with the infection vector for malware and viruses. On the other hand, employees aren’t children. They should be smart enough to know that they aren’t being paid to be on Facebook or any other social media site. However, sometimes they need a break from the task at hand, and a little dip into Farmville may do the trick. It’s not any different than walking around the block.

Ultimately, I’m going to do what my boss tells me to do. Personally? I think that if we ban it, I will get a tremendous increase in the amount of calls and emails that I get, reporting that “they can’t get on Facebook”. Then they will be mad at me and go find another way to do it, either via their phones or by screwing up their work computers (that I have to fix). Do I agree that it’s an issue? Sure, but I don’t think that banning Facebook (or any other site) is the answer.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments.

(Photo credit: Woman Signing Into Facebook on Tablet via Shutterstock)

Brian K. Vagnini is a musician, designer, engineer and writer of fiction and technical topics. He was a technical trainer for five years and learned about almost every class of software. His additional writing can be found at Grey Matter Ideas and "a href="http://www.wicketbang.com">Wicketbang.com.

At Lifehack we talk a lot about happiness, and (in my opinion) general happiness is the accumulation of many days of contentment with one’s circumstances.  Therefore, being happier isn’t necessarily a matter of making massive changes in your life.  In fact, it’s often more about minor adjustments.  Here are eight small things you can do so that you feel better about yourself at the end of the day.

1. Cut the Fat

Where you can, eliminate parties from your work who don’t really need to be involved.  The more cooks, the less likelihood there is that anything delicious will be made in the kitchen, and this inevitably leads to frustration.  Instead of spending every day in consensus-building meetings, strive to gain greater control over your work responsibilities  – consulting managers or mentors when YOU feel it will be helpful.

2. Set an Aggressive Deadline

Most people work more efficiently under pressure, and short-term deadlines ensure that you will actually have something tangible accomplished at the end of each day.  It’s better than spending chunks of time surfing the web, which may feel good in the moment but won’t put a smile on your face on the train ride home.

3. Jot Down Your Accomplishments

Meeting several tough deadlines in a row, and achieving quantifiable results while you’re at it, is something of which to be proud.  Don’t sweep it under the rug.  Keep a running list of what you’ve achieved this week and look at it frequently, especially every time your thinking turns dark (e.g. “I’m wasting my life”, “I’ll never get promoted”).

4. Have a Focused Conversation

No matter how busy you are, make an effort to stop multi-tasking so that you can spend a few quality minutes with the people who matter.  This means actively listening, contributing as appropriate, and ignoring potential interruptions.  When all of your attention is on the discussion at hand, it’s much easier to build relationships, collaborate effectively and resolve conflicts.

5. Help a Colleague

One of the most attractive aspects of volunteerism is that it helps the giver feel good about herself in addition to providing a service to society.  A non-profit related activity will obviously fit the bill in terms of increasing your positivity each day, but you can achieve the same effect by going out of your way to assist a colleague who is struggling.  You might take a project off his plate, show him how to use a new application, or offer to run his broken smartphone to the repair shop while out to lunch.

6. Walk Outside

Our energy peaks and flags at different times of the day depending on our natural body rhythms.  When you feel like you need a boost, grab your jacket and take a walk around the building or block.  Not only will the fresh air perk up your mood, but it will also remind you that you live in a world that extends beyond the sterile office environment.  And getting exercise, even when it’s of the light variety, will improve your overall health and well-being.

7. Eat a Colorful Plate

Many of us make the mistake of thinking that we’ll be more productive if we forego lunch and eat a candy bar at our desks, but this is not the case.  Skipping meals regularly leads to increased fatigue and depression, and decreased mental acuity.   You’ll feel so much better when 6PM arrives if you stop, go down to the cafeteria, and eat a hearty lunch comprised of at least two-thirds fruits and vegetables.  As a general rule, the more colorful your plate is, the more nutritious.

8. Don’t Compromise Your Values

Don’t let anyone, senior executives or otherwise, talk you into doing something you feel is morally wrong.  You may get caught or you may not, but committing ethical violations is a fast way to destroy your sense of self-worth.  Tell the person asking that you don’t feel comfortable in an assertive but non-judgmental tone.  If you are pressed or the situation becomes otherwise intolerable, consider speaking to your HR representative.

(Photo credit: Time Card via Shutterstock)

Alexandra Levit is a career and workplace expert at the Intuit Quickbase Blog , a daily source for advice on how to be exceptional at your job. You can follow her on Twitter at @alevit.

We are all busy. Hopping or jumping or running around from task to project. Fitting everything in is a task only organisational gurus can manage to do. We are bred with a belief that we must work hard — that the only route to success is sweat and toil.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way?

What if we could do half of the work and achieve all our goals and dreams in half the time?

It’s easier than you think; it just involves a little bit of planning and a lot of common sense.

In Work

Do you ever start out the day at work without planning what you want to achieve? I’m sure you have done it, but you know that you shouldn’t. You spend the day reacting to things that come your way rather than taking the lead. If you work in this manner — allowing your emails and the people around you to dictate your task list and your schedule — you will never be effective in work. You know that by setting the agenda ahead of time you are much more likely to get the important things done…and done more quickly. You should be in control of your work day.

Of course there are times when you have to react and do work that was not previously scheduled. But if the work that you are putting aside is scheduled, you can reschedule for the following day and ensure that it will all get done.

In Life

It is just as important to be clear about what you want to achieve in your personal life. If you know what you want (and have a clear picture of it in your head) it’s pretty obvious you are going to achieve it more quickly than if you let the ideas float around in your mind.

Here is a list of what you need to do to get clear about what you want and how to start moving towards achieving it:

1. Spend time on your goals. Don’t just have a vague idea of what you want to achieve. Take some quiet time to identify what it is you want. Even if you are not 100% sure, start by taking some action. The only bad decision is indecision. You need to start walking down a road to see if it is the right road for you.
2. Plan your time and prioritize what’s important. If you have lofty goals and dreams the easiest way to achieve them is to work towards them bit by bit. Ensure that everything that you do daily is helping you towards their attainment. Don’t waste your time doing things that aren’t going to help you fulfill your dreams. By having clear goals you can regularly check that the work you are busy with everyday is in alignment with them.
3. Eliminate time-wasting activities. Life is too short to drink cheap wine — and it is also too short to waste time on aimless social media and browsing the Internet aimlessly. Get with it; there is work to be done, grand things to achieve and dreams to fulfill. I’ve heard some people say that Facebook is their way to relax, mindlessly moving from post to post, page to page. There are much more powerful ways to relax than that. Meditation, yoga, mindfulness – these are ways to relax the body and still the mind. Social media is not.

Get clear about your goals, write them down and use them as a gauge to check if the work you do daily is supporting your bigger picture. When you start to do these things, you will find that your goals will begin to manifest more quickly than expected.

(Photo credit: Businessman Winning a Race via Shutterstock)

Ciara Conlon is a Personal Productivity Coach and author. Her mission is to help people achieve their best through working efficiently and being positive and present. “With Productivity and Positivity there is little you can’t achieve” Find out more about Ciara and sign up for her tips, articles and links at Productivity & Positivity

When I last wrote about Alfred (and how amazing it is)—10 Awesome Alfred Actions to Speed Up Your Day—the first item in my top 10 was:

Powerpack Alfred App – Powerpack. Yes, the free version of Alfred is great, more than half of my favorite things to do with it are core to the free version. The thing is that some of the most useful shortcuts come with the Powerpack.

Right, getting the Alfred Powerpack. Now beyond unlocking a ton of amazing new abilities (scripting, send commands to Terminal, extra actions) with the Powerpack you can install Alfred Extensions which takes all the cool things you can do with Alfred and dials it up to an 11.

Right now there are hundreds of extensions that you can get—Alfred Extensions & Scripts – Alfred Support—and more being added all the time. So with that kind of selection, where do you start?

Exactly.

So, here are my top 5 Alfred Extensions to start with:

1. Create a Task in Things: My task manager of choice is Things, but yours might be OmniFocus or whatever. Regardless, having a action to quickly create a to do item just rocks. Oh, and if Things isn’t your thing, there are extensions for pretty much any to do manager.
2. Note taking extensions (like Evernote): I’m a big Evernote fan and pretty much everything I save in Instapaper goes right into Evernote, but there are times you just need to create a note. These extensions let you add notes, search notes, and add tags to Evernote with a few keystrokes.
3. Extension Updater for Alfred: This extension, well, the name says it all. Extensions in Alfred, like a lot of other plugin-type systems, get updated now and then. Maybe there was a bug, maybe a new feature is added, maybe a system update borked something. In any case this extension automatically checks for updates to your extensions and updates them.
4. iTunes now playing: It might not be sexy, but it sure is useful! Yeah, yeah — you know – all the songs in your iTunes library. Well…I have so many operas, concertos, symphonies, and such that I can’t keep all the tracks straight, so I like to use to figure out what part of a longer piece is playing.
5. Open AirDrop: A place I worked recently, we used AirDrop a lot to quickly move files around. Stuff like, “Hey, is that updated header ready?”. The thing was often we forgot to keep an AirDrop window open so the person could just drop the file. This fixes that. No switching to the Finder and opening…just tappity-tap and done.

Now that you’ve read my top 5 extensions, I have a confession. Most of the time—and believe me I use Alfred all the time—I don’t use the extra capabilities in the extensions. It’s like this post today—Why Complicated Productivity Tools Will Get You Stuck—don’t sweat if you’re getting everything out of an app if you’re getting what you need out of an app. So, no, I don’t use a lot of Alfred extensions and I don’t use them very often. I have them installed, I like them, but most of the time I use the tools that come with the Powerpack.

That, I think, really says the most about an app, doesn’t it? You can adapt it to what you need and only what you need and still have it be an essential part of your workflow.

Tris Hussey is a technologist, author, teacher, and Canada’s first professional blogger. He has written several books on social media and technology including Create Your Own Blog (1st and 2nd editions), Using WordPress, Sam’s Teach Yourself Foursquare in 10 Minutes, WordPress Essentials (video lessons), and Sam’s Teach Yourself WordPress Themes in 24 Hours (forthcoming in late 2012 with Catherine Winters). You can read Tris’ posts on TrisHussey.com, the FutureShop Tech blog, and other sites around the Internet.

Everyone always seems to be looking for an easy way out when it comes to making a living. We would all rather work as little as possible and make our money easily. It’s no wonder why Google searches for “easy ways to make money” yield a ton of get-rich-quick-plans, pyramid schemes, and courses from “marketing gurus” who have finally found the secret to making massive amounts of money online and doing it with as little effort as possible.

The sad reality is that if you want to make a living online (or even offline), it takes hard work, especially if it is something that you want to do and it isn’t something you should shy away from. Easy ways to make money won’t making you money and won’t fulfill you. Here’s why.

Challenges are fun

Challenging yourself day-in and day-out is extremely important. It’s one of the only ways that you can grow as a human and especially as a worker in your profession. If making money and a living wasn’t challenging, at least to some degree, the chances of you being bored and unhappy would be higher than that of a challenging lifestyle.

Not only that, it’s also fun to face a challenge and defeat it. There is nothing like planning a project, working through it (sometimes even struggling), and seeing it through to the end.

Easy money will go away

Unless you found something that is impossible to duplicate and you live in a world where there is no internet or social networks, your “scheme” to make easy money will be duplicated by others, improved upon, and you will inevitably be weeded out of your market. It’s impossible to stay in an easy-money-making-market forever and think that the money will keep rolling in.

You will have to put some work in eventually as your market disappears, so why not just skip the easy ways to make money and challenge yourself to make a living?

Where’s your legacy?

Another thing about taking the easy way out; you have very little chance of leaving a legacy, that is, a positive one. Do you think that Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerburg, or Sergey and Larry would have a legacy if they were looking for the easy way out?

These people are exceptions, but the point still stands. If you concentrate too much on easy ways to make money, you will miss the the idea that could define your life’s work, the work that will create your own legacy.

“Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact, and that is, everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you.”

-Steve Jobs

Okay, everything doesn’t have to be difficult

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that you have to struggle your entire life to make a living so you don’t get bored or forget to create your own legacy. I’m saying that we all need to make sure that the work we do has purpose and that it helps define us as a person. Many people say that “you are not your work”, but I beg to differ. There isn’t anything wrong with your work helping to define who you are in life.

There are many great people in the world that I wouldn’t have known were so great if they didn’t work hard to create cool things that I use everyday. While their work doesn’t entirely define who they are, it helps to create a portion of who they are.

There will inevitably be some easy ways to make money here and there on your journey, but you may want to make sure that these ways of making money are related to, as Merlin Mann like to put it, your platform (basically the culmination of all of your important work). Making easy money related to your life’s work isn’t a bad thing and will definitely come up. But, chasing easy money isn’t something to shoot for.

Back to practicality

Taking this back to something practical; rather than concentrating on easy ways to make money, sit down and list the things that you want to do to make money. Think of your dream jobs and write them down. Next, write down the things that you are good at. If you find a correlation between a dream job and something you are good at, then that is the work that you should be chasing, regardless of how difficult it may be.

It’s much more fulfilling to chase your dreams than chase easy money. If you are aligning your skills with your dream jobs, working hard, then money and a living will come to you.

(Photo credit: Money falling, isolated on white background via Shutterstock)

If you are annoyed and distracted by the people around you, chances are you are missing out. Communication and connection are just a few of the things that you miss when you are deep in disapproval. There are serious issues that can get in the way, but let’s explore some of the common annoyances on the lighter side.

The Unloveables

Cell Yell Man
Just because he can’t hear his call clearly (usually in a busy, public place), he responds by yelling into his cell phone as if he’s announcing a fire. You get to hear every detail of his sometimes very personal conversation, and completely forget what you were doing.

Mrs. Broken Blinker
Using the directional signal when turning seems simple enough, but this Mrs. can’t find the time, energy or courtesy to use it. Even better, when she occasionally does decide to let you know she is turning, she forgets to turn it off.

The Guru Guy
He knows everything and is determined to let you know about how much he knows. He won’t teach you anything, but is happy to remind you about his vast wealth of knowledge.

Last Word Lady
You know her. She is always right and always has to wrap up every conversation.

iMan
Oh man, iMan is either checking email on his iPhone, Skyping on his iPad or trying to hold a conversation while blogging on his iMac. Otherwise he is hanging at the Genius Bar, or talking about the new IOS whatever.

Fast Forward Girl
If you have to cull the following messages from your email, then this girl is in your life. “It’s national best friends day” “Forward this to 10 people for good luck” “Don’t delete if you love me”.

While these references are in good fun, the point is that we can be more loving to the unlovables in our life with a few simple shifts in attitude and approach.

• Humanize. Remember that everyone has similar struggles. Your unloveable probably has a family, a job, self-esteem issues, an illness or something else that makes them who they are. They are dealing with all that life has to offer just like you. Ask them about their life instead of focusing on their bad habit.
• Pity Story. Make up a sad story to make the situation less stressful. For instance, if you feel road rage building up when the person in front of you forgets to use their signal, make up a story about how he just lost his job and can’t afford to replace his tail light. Slow down and let empathy replace anger.
• Stop trying to fix everything. We are all different and while it would be great if everyone were as wonderful as you, that’s not going to happen. Lighten up and let it be.
• Celebrate imperfection. We aren’t perfect. None of us. Not even you. It is your imperfections that make you unique. Your flaws are a part of who you are. Celebrate that in yourself and others.
• Laugh. Sometimes all you can do is smile, nod and laugh inside.
• Be Kind. You don’t have to agree to be kind.

There may be people in your life like the unloveables, or maybe other things get in the way of love. Remember that everyone has something to offer. If you can find a way to step around the one thing that is getting in the way of a closer relationship, there might be something wonderful on the other side.

(Photo credit: Heart of Grass via Shutterstock)

Courtney Carver is an artist and consultant specializing in simplicity for life and business. Read more from Courtney at her blog, Be More with Less and follow her on Twitter.

“There is time enough for everything in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once, but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time.” ~ Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield, April 1747

Everybody I know has too much to do and too little time to get it done. Overstuffed schedules and overlong to-do lists mean many people live those “lives of quiet desperation” where at any given time we’re trying to do several things at once. The infamous ability to multitask.

Sure, I can cook dinner and help the kids with their homework.

I can read a magazine and eat dinner while watching the TV shows I’ve recorded on my DVR.

I can reply to text messages while I drive? (Wait, no I can’t. That’s illegal.) But I can do it at the dinner table.

I can monitor emails during that business meeting.

When tasks-to-be-done exceed time-in-the-day, it seems reasonable and efficient to double up on activities. It’s the only way to get it all done, right?

Right?

Maybe not.

Human multitasking, meaning the ability to do more than one task simultaneously, is a myth. Don’t take my word for it. Check out this NPR story and this piece in The New Atlantis. Numerous scientific studies have shown that when we think we’re multitasking, what our brain is actually doing is rapidly switching its focus back and forth among the various tasks. That hyperspeed switching has been found to actually impair productivity and even to temporarily (we hope) lower the multitasker’s IQ.

But just as important as these is how the ability to multitask impairs the quality of life. Habitual multitasking eventually leads to an inability to relax, to turn off, or to focus on anything for very long. It’s virtually impossible to be at peace if your mind is perpetually jumping among multiple attention-takers. Over time you realize you’re always tense, you don’t sleep well, and–maybe worst of all–the people in your life feel that you’re disconnected and even uncaring.

While sometimes it’s appropriate, and even necessary, to handle more than one task at a time, it is crucially important to your mental health to create some space in your life when you’re not being pulled in multiple directions. Space for quiet, for peace.

How? A few things come to mind:

• For some portion of every day, disconnect from the internet. Completely. Don’t check your email, or Facebook, or Twitter. Don’t play online games. Watch an entire movie without once checking your smart phone. Start with an hour a day and build up your tolerance level until you can stay offline for a full day.
• Turn off your phone at night or leave it in a different room. I struggle with this one. I have a busy legal practice, with clients who expect to be able to reach me pretty much 24/7. I used to keep my BlackBerry on my nightstand while I slept, and would awaken in the night to check and respond to emails. I’ve abandoned that practice, and now leave my iPhone down the hall, in my home office, at night.
• Take the weekends off. Although it seems that in my profession we’re never really off-duty, we can safely disconnect from work at appropriate times. On the weekends, I leave my iPhone in my home office while I do other things, checking a few times a day for urgent messages. I no longer keep it within reach at all times. And I haven’t yet lost a single client because of it.
• Take regular breaks. Read this article for great ideas on how and when.
• Don’t take your phone to dinner. Put your phone in another room at dinner time, and just spend those few minutes talking with the people at the table.
• Drive in silence. I have a long daily commute, and I like to use that time to listen to audiobooks or podcasts. But sometimes, I turn everything off and drive in silence, with nothing to listen to but my own thoughts.
• Spend some time every day, or at least every week, outdoors, with no electronic devices. Sometimes, run without an iPod. Walk without your smart phone. Just you and the birds.
• Read a book with no music and no TV in the background.
• Don’t check emails during business meetings. Leave your smart phone or iPad in your office. Unless people’s actual, physical lives depend on reaching you at a moment’s notice (probably only true if you are a doctor or the President of the United States), the world won’t come to an end if you are out of the loop for an hour. So pay attention to what’s being said in the meeting. Take notes on paper if you need to. This is one that I need to work on this week.

The idea is to be a little more in the moment, and a little less distracted. You will find that as you make it a priority to focus more and “multitask” less, several benefits will accrue.

First, things that really don’t matter will fall off your to-do list.

Second, you’ll actually accomplish more (and more high-quality) work on the tasks that have your undivided attention.

Third, the people you interact with will begin to feel more valued and more “heard.”

Fourth, you will begin to feel less stressed and more at peace with yourself.

What do you think? Could your life be improved by focusing on one task at a time? Do you have any tips that you’d add to the list above? I’d love to see your thoughts in the comments below.

(Photo credit: Working from Home via Shutterstock)

Laura McClellan is a lawyer, a writer, a productivity fanatic, and a tech geek. Married for 30+ years to her high school sweetheart, with whom she's raised five amazing kids, she's passionate about encouraging women in their individual journeys as people, wives, mothers, citizens. While she prepares to launch her new website, Laura blogs at I Was Just Thinking . . . and Real Estate Law Blog and is working on her first novel. Connect with Laura on Twitter as @LauraMcMom.

Modern technology really is a wonderful thing. It gives us all manner of affordable gizmos and gadgets to help us manage every element of our lives and get more stuff done.

Yet when it comes to getting more stuff done effectively and to the best standard possible, there’s one set of tools we often over-look; the humble pen and paper.

In praise of paper

It goes without saying that paper is much cheaper, doesn’t suffer too much damage should you drop it on the concrete and doesn’t require batteries or chargers, but they present less obvious advantages too:

Sure, technology provides us with lots of useful, productive tools, but it also provides e-mail, social networks, oh-so-hilarious videos of piano-playing felines and a host of other distractions that otherwise keep us from creating our best work.

The only thing a notepad ever gave us was a blank canvas on which to store thoughts, make notes and create masterpieces.

Distraction free

This very article began life as a basic idea scrawled in a pocket-sized notebook en route home from dinner one evening before being expanded, tweaked and crafted into two rough drafts on a legal pad back at the dining table.

Eventually, when all thoughts were nearly organised and I had an article I was happy with, I typed it up and here it sits before you.

Saving time

Was that more work than heading straight to the computer and hacking at the keyboard until I had something close to a competent piece?

Yes and no.

Okay, so my drafts took me longer to write than if I’d typed them, fully-formed and almost perfect into a word processor, but the honest truth is that had I been at the computer during first-draft, I would have spent just as much time browsing through blogs, tweeting and generally wasting time on unproductive things as I would actual writing.

In the long run then, I saved myself some time and found it easier to enter a state where I was completely focussed on producing the best possible work I could.

“Sometimes I would rather hang upside down in a bucket than write.” - Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

No matter how much we try to tell ourselves that we’re 100% motivated and productive 100% of the time, we all have those days when, just like Douglas Adams, the last thing in the whole world that we feel like doing is the task at hand.

No matter how disciplined we may think ourselves, technology offers such an abundance of distractions that it’s sometimes too much to resist temptation and indulge in those distractions.

Even when we’re motivated enough to get on with the job, sometimes the very process of working at a computer, nothing more than hitting a buttons and inputting data, can thwart the creative process.

Because of this, ideas don’t come as freely, and that completely productive state of working takes a little while longer to reach.

Before we go any further, it’s probably worth pointing out that what you’re reading isn’t the inane ramblings of an out-of-touch old man with a gripe against ‘all this newfangled cyberspace stuff’ just because he doesn’t understand it.

I adore technology. I adore it because it’s portable, convinient, accessible. I adore it because it lets me work from anywhere in the world, and I adore it for all the many wonderful things I can’t do without it.

Though the one thing I can’t do with technology, is think, brainstorm and create half as well as I can when faced with a blank sheet of paper.

Flow states

There’s something about that blank canvas, devoid of distractions and ready to be filled with ideas, that enables a faster entry into what psychologists call the Flow state; that feeling of being fully absorbed in your work, completely energized and so focused on the task at hand that nothing can take you from what you’re doing until you’ve achieved what you set out to do.

You may not call it Flow, you may call it ‘being in the zone’ or use some other term entirely, but the point is that you’re likely to reach that most productive and satisfying state much faster as you feed off the energy created by dragging your pen across a blank sheet of paper than you are simply inputting data into a machine.

You don’t even have to be doing anything particularly creative either.

Having experimented with both technology and paper-based products for all areas of my life, including creating to-do lists, planning projects, personal finance work and just about anything that requires me to get stuff out of my head and onto some form of page, I’ve found that the ideas I have come quicker, and are more inspired and defined than I ever had bashing buttons on a keyboard.

Of course, it would be quite absurd to encourage you to replace your Ipad with a notepad forever more; we wouldn’t be talking right now were it not for technology. Though if you want to create your best work in an environment free from distractions that allows you to quickly and effortlessly reach your Flow state, laying the laptop aside and picking up a sheet of paper may just be what you need.

(Photo credit: Notebooks via Shutterstock)

When you don’t take action to live your dreams, someone somewhere else in the world will.

Take the risk. Put in the practice. Be willing to pay the price. Get it done no matter what it takes or how long it takes. You are responsible for the results you get. There is no time for excuses.

The following tips can help you on the path to live your dreams.

1. Fear is no excuse; we’re all afraid.

It’s part of being human. It’s what you do in spite of your fear that matters. Look your fear in the eye. Tell it to back down. You have work to do, people to see, and connections to make.

2. Make a choice

We make hundreds of choices every day. Become aware of the choices you make and the consequences of your choices. Choose to get up an hour early. Choose to use your gifts and talents. Choose to go the extra mile. Choose to ask for help. Choose to leave your mark on the world. It’s all about choices.

3. Talk to yourself

Use encouraging words. I’m 58 years old. Saturday night I ran a five mile road race for charity. It was 93 degrees and we ran on the black pavement at 8 p.m. There were no water stations. I used the mantra, “I am a fighter.” I talked myself across the finish line. Why did I do it? Because I could!

4. Minimize your number of regrets

Do what you need to do today to live your dreams. Don’t hesitate, delay, or isolate. Apologize, take the high road, and accept responsibility for all that you do and all that you don’t do. Life is messy. So what! Learn from your mistakes and move on.

5. Don’t be afraid of hard work

Be willing to do what it takes. Put in the hours. Network. Become an expert. Don’t back down and don’t give in. Dream big! Sometimes life will demand that you crawl one more inch and sometimes life will allow you to soar. Continue to advance forward. Enjoy it all.

6. Live the part

What does success feel like? Get into the feeling. What does success smell like? Wear the perfume. What does success look like? Dress the part. Go where successful people go and do what successful people do.

7. Kick down the doors

When things go wrong, get back up. When doors don’t open, kick them down. When there’s a detour, climb a fence. When somebody tells you, “no”, ask again. Keep going back and keep moving forward until you get what you want. Each “no” is a step closer to a “yes”.

8. Make yourself stand out

Tell the truth. Keep your promises. Make others aware of your strengths. Be persistent. Be yourself. Listen to your heart. Follow your dreams with integrity and love.

9. Share your gifts

Do it in small and big ways. Help, server, and surprise others. Yesterday, my husband went into the gas station for a few minutes as I waited in the car. I noticed a man standing on the sidewalk. He was old, worn, and was missing an arm. His other arm didn’t look very good either. I phoned my husband and asked him to pick up a bottled water and a sandwich. I asked him to give it to the guy on the sidewalk when he came out. The man smiled, accepted it, and walked away. It’s that simple. Are you willing to share your time, talent, wisdom, or money today?

We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, so we need to create and live our dreams today!

(Photo credit: Businessman in cloud via Shutterstock)

Tess Marshall of The Bold Life has a master's degree in counseling psychology and has recently released a new course, "Take Your Fear and Shove It!". Download her free ebook, "How to Be Bold."

We all have read a lot of articles on how to find your passion in life. From personality tests and questionnaires to life experiences and career advice, even I left no avenue untouched.

They say to look for hints around you, ask your friends and family for advice and put yourself out there, open to new experiences that take you outside your comfort zone and I’ve got to admit, I’ve done it all. I’ve even managed to dissect my personality into numerous letter codes like INFP and INTP, but even these weren’t good enough to satisfy my hunger to know it all.

For the most of us, discovering our passions isn’t as easy as getting a degree or finding a job. It’s a rather tiring and patience enduring process, with absolutely no assurance that you’ll get somewhere, or anywhere as a matter of fact.

Though what struck me the other day was the fact that for all these years I’ve been searching for my passion. I’ve been trying to find clues and road maps, how to guides or even a magic wand that gives me all the directions I need. Somehow the present me has been trying to find the future me, not create it.

But how can I find something that doesn’t exist yet?

It’s like having all the colors on your palette and a blank canvas in front of you while you simply sit still, waiting for the painting to appear.

Sounds silly doesn’t it? But that’s the rut a lot of us are stuck in. We are constantly in search of something not realizing that all the pieces of the puzzle are within us. We can choose to put them together how ever our hearts desire, for the first time, there are no wrong answers.

Different colors on our palette are simply the things we love vs. the things we absolutely despise. We know what makes us smile and what makes our heart ache instead. Our blank canvas is our entire life ahead of us starting from this very moment, simply waiting for us to fill it with our favourite colors making it what ever we want it to be.

Therefore after years of running around in circles and being disheartened over and over again, it finally hit me: I can be whoever I want to be. A magician, dancer, research scientist, barista, graffiti artist or a bear hugger — anything. Anything at all.

Yes, we all have limitations. And we have responsibilities to fulfill. But where’s the challenge and the thrill of accomplishment if the road is too easy, right? The problem arises when we feel stuck within and are unable to identify what it is that our heart truly desires.

Here are 3 quick and simple ways to overcome the self critique and the endless chatter in your mind and start listening to your true self. You don’t have to do them all, just pick one or alternate from one to another.

Write Everyday

It’s called garbage writing by some and that’s precisely what it really is. This is a simple way to let the clutter out of your overworked mind once a day. There are no magical revelations to be looked for or some mind boggling truth about the world. Think of it as a mind cleanse, something you do to get rid of the old…and get ready for the new.

Date Yourself

Everyone needs a timeout and so do you. Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy a fabulous meal with yourself or a walk by the beach at least once a week. The only rule is that you can not take anyone along. No friends, no acquaintances, only unfamiliar faces are allowed: maybe try something new like a salsa class or a martial art lesson. Its all about doing something you enjoy and having a great time.

Be Still

Spend 10 minutes everyday to just be. You don’t have to meditate or pray or do anything for that matter. Don’t even try to control your thoughts, but accept them the way they are. Don’t evaluate, don’t analyse, don’t create and nor should you try to erase them, just let them float through your mind, appearing and disappearing into thin air.

These are some fabulous techniques to open the communication channel between the worldly you and soulful you, two of which are also suggested by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way. All you need to do is pay closer attention to yourself and what is innately you will emerge from in between all the clutter.

Just like wizards, magic exists in our fingertips. What colors are you going to add to your canvas today?

(Photo credit: Empty Treasure Chest via Shutterstock)

You have a deadline coming up. It might be for a blog post, an article, or even a book. Unfortunately you have that dreaded disease of what they call writer’s block. You have a topic, but you have no idea about how to present it.

No worries. Writing doesn’t have to be hard. Writing is really just about applying a template and filling in the blanks. Here are 10 great ways that you can apply to just about any topic and get your writing done quickly and easily.

1. How-To Tutorial

This is the classic “how-to” tutorial. It is organized in a systematic, step-by-step approach to accomplishing a task. The steps are most commonly organized in chronological order (i.e. Step One is…, Step Two is…, etc.). These are generally known as “systems”, “formulas”, “checklists” or “blueprints”.

2. Frequently Asked Questions.

Another style is what I call “frequently asked questions”. In this model, you would take 10-20 of the most asked questions about a particular topic and answer them in your content. This is one of the easiest writings to create because outlining is simple due to the Q&A style:

1. List the question.
2. Answer it.

3. Interview

Moving from questions that you answer to questions that someone else answers is another way to write. An “interview” is, not surprisingly, a series of questions that you pose to one or more qualified experts to create your content. (Reasons why experts would do this for you include:  free publicity for their web site or business, rights to the completed report or paid compensation.)

4. List

Another writing template is what I’ve labeled the “list”. It is simply a listing of ways, strategies, tips, secrets, tactics, techniques, habits, exercises, principles, etc. with a detailed description of each entry to the list.

5. Case Study

Next is the “case study” model. This would consist of you profiling different successful examples of accomplishing a common task. In other words, you’d show how several different people (including or not including yourself) have achieved the desired result. The great thing about this style of writing is the variety of different methods people use in attaining similar results. Your readers will likely “connect” with one or more of the examples and get a sense of motivation and empowerment to reach their goal as well. Bottom line:  you’ve got a satisfied reader.

6. Resource Directory

Next is the “resource directory”. With this you include a group of related entries of resources (usually indexed categorically and then alphabetically), along with their contact information such as web site, phone number and or mailing/physical address. You might think of a campground directory or a listing of hotels that a certain niche might enjoy.

7. Idea Generators

Up next we have the “idea generators.” This particular style of template is a best described as “a series of prompts to help the reader brainstorm ideas”.

Here are a few different examples:

• Idea Prompts for Fiction Writers
• 75 Starter Questions for Small Group Discussion
• 97 Winning Ad Headlines For Your Sales Letter Swipe File
• 101 Best Prayer Starters For New Christians
• 101 Fill-In-The-Blank Internet Auction Templates
• The Ultimate Book of Ideas for Home-Schoolers

8. The First Year

Up next is what I’ve labeled “the first year”. In this kind of template, you’d walk a newcomer through the first 12 months of a particular endeavor. What beginner standing on the threshold of something completely new to them wouldn’t want the wisdom of what to expect and how to successfully navigate through the foundation period?

You could chronicle the first year with a calendar of milestones and guideposts, pitfalls to avoid, shortcuts to take and so forth. Some examples are:

• The First Year of Parenting
• The First Year of Home-schooling
• The First Year of College
• The First Year of Internet Business
• The First Year of Life After Loss of Loved One
• The First Year of Teaching
• The First Year of Youth Ministry
• The First Year of Living With M.S.

9. Niche Business

One of the biggest mistakes that most “Internet marketers” make is trying to create information products to sell to other Internet marketers. It’s a cycle that just loops over and over again. Fortunately for you, while everyone else is competing with each other, you have an opportunity to teach “niches” how to market.  Instead of selling marketing information to other marketers, teach niche business owners how to market.  All business owners, regardless of what their business is, need more customers.

Note: What’s interesting about this “kind” of small report is the fact that you can make a few changes and “niche it” for numerous different topics (i.e. “Bookstore Owner’s Guide to Marketing”, “Real Estate Agent’s Guide to Marketing”, “Hair Salon Owner’s Guide to Marketing”, etc.).

Some examples are:

• The Christian Bookstore Owner’s Guide To Marketing
• The Pet Store Owner’s Guide To Marketing
• The Personal Trainer’s Guide To Getting More Clients
• How To Quickly And Easily Get More Real Estate Referrals
• A Crash Course In Free Publicity For Independent Singers
• A 10-Day Plan For Promoting Your Craft Show

10.  The Bridge

I’ve labeled this kind of writing “the bridge”. The idea is to combine two unrelated topics into one small report.  Think of it this way: there are universal wants and needs (i.e. To lose weight and get in shape) that are applicable to virtually all markets. Most people want to make more money, be successful, live happily, have great relationships, etc. These are universal pursuits. The idea here is to bring those universal pursuits into the arena of your specific field of interest or expertise.

Some examples are:

• Time Management For Single Parents
• The Internet Marketer’s Diet
• The Educator’s Guide to Becoming A High-Paid Public Speaker
• Success Secrets For Small Business Owners
• The Home-Schoolers Guide To Working At Home

Remember writing is like anything else. You don’t have to get it perfect, just get it started. Use these ideas and you are off to a good start!

(Photo credit: Man Using Laptop with Lightbulb via Shutterstock)

For 20 years, Michael Martel was a Green Beret in the US Army. He now works with people to put Special Forces like effectiveness into their lives and businesses.  Go to Achieve The Green Beret Way and learn about his book Get ER Done: The Green Beret Guide to Productivity and other tools for achieving outstanding results.

There’s no question that the school of hard knocks can be, well, hard.

When life becomes tough, many of us stop chasing our dreams and retreat under a big ugly flannel security blanket. Let’s face it: we’re terrified of failure.

We’re afraid that we might not succeed, that our dreams are only pipe-dreams, that “reality” has to be hard because it is for every body else.

Though we enter the world with a sense of youthful optimism: excitement about opportunity, a willingness to risk it all, and a belief that everything will turn out our way (In one survey, 96% of 18-24 year-olds agreed with the statement, “I am very sure that someday I will get to where I want to be in life”).*

This is the time in life when we think that we can change rule the world.

And…then at least one of two things happens:

1. You fail at something on your first, second, and/or third try.
2. You spend too much time around uninspired people who view the world as a competitive place full of struggles, competition, and tears.

And…after a few years, when you haven’t miraculously reached your dreams, you start to get discouraged. You start thinking:

“Maybe they’re right.”

“Maybe I’m just being a lazy optimist. I should settle down and do what is expected of me.”

You do what you think is called, “growing up”.

I won’t sugar coat it, you’re becoming a coward.

In his book, Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, Harvard psychology professor Tal Ben-Shahar writes:

“When we fail to attain a desire outcome, we often extrapolate from that experience the belief that we have no control over our lives or over certain parts of it. Such thinking leads to despair.”

Thus, overcoming this feeling of defeat is your ultimate goal.

To do so, you need one thing…and one thing only: Perseverance.

Here’s a true story about how this plays out in the real world…

When she was a child, my grandma knew that she wanted to become a chemist. She was of the first generation of an Italian immigrant family living in the Bronx. Her father died when she was two-years-old. Her mother wanted her to become a piano teacher.

In order to beat the odds, she had to work odd jobs for mean nuns, graduate high school at 16, and endure constant questioning from her mother: “when will you stop all of this nonsense?”

It was not okay for a woman to become a chemist, and the world tried to make sure that she knew it.

But instead of giving up, she persevered.

Instead of hanging around people who didn’t support her, she surrounded her self with likeminded scientists (like my grandfather, whom she met at Columba while earning their PhDs).

Her story inspires me every time I hear it.

The thing is, my grandmother never made excuses.

Some of the excuses we tell ourselves are:

1. I don’t know anyone who has done it before/ too many people are already trying.
2. I don’t have enough (money, power, skills, education, time)
3. If I was going to do it, I would have done it already.
4. I have too many responsibilities.
5. I am too old or young.
6. I will never be the best. Too many people are ahead of me.
7. It’s not the right time.

But, what if we simply rephrased these excuses into empowering beliefs?

1. It doesn’t matter what other people are doing, this is my dream.
2. I have more than enough resources to get started.
3. There’s no time like the present!
4. My number one priority is living passionately.
5. My age gives me a unique perspective, and is only a number.
6. There will always be someone to learn from.
7. It will never be perfect, so I might as well stop stalling and start now.

Can I get a “hellz yeah” for youthful optimism?

Look, I’m not saying that you should ignore the lessons that you’ve learned from your experiences. You’ve earned those. Instead, my suggestion is to learn learn to perfect your skills and become an even better person without losing that inspired-to-be-alive feeling.

Think you can do it?

I know you can.

Take action right now to write down the empowering phrases that will benefit you the most and put them somewhere where you will see them every day.

*Survey mentioned comes from Horbblower, M. (1997, June 9). Great Xpectations. Time, pp. 58-68.

Courtney Johnston is a lifestyle writer and the creator of The Rule Breaker's Club, a slice of the web all about sticking it to the status quo. She has spent 2 years in Paris and is passionate about happiness and cheap wine (the two often go hand in hand). You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Do you find that when you’re pressed for time it becomes easier to skip a workout? Is it a hassle for you to drive to the gym before or after work? After reading this article you won’t feel this way again, no matter how busy your schedule. That’s because I will show you a great muscle building, calorie burning workout that only takes 15-20 minutes to complete. You can do it anywhere too, even your office or backyard.

The workouts are referred to as complexes by strength coaches. Despite the name, they are anything but complex with regard to the equipment, space, skill, or time they require to complete. Keep reading to learn what complexes are along with why and how to do them any time or place.

Complexes – 20 Minute Muscle Building Workouts

Basically speaking, complexes are 3 or more exercises done using the same barbell, dumbbell, or kettlebell with no rest between each movement. The exercises you use typically alternate between upper and lower body in focus. They’re most often done while standing. When performed properly you will move fluidly from one exercise to the other.

Complexes are the brainchild of strength coach Istvan Javorek. He uses them to help athletes quickly build muscle and improve their overall fitness in the off-season. The results Coach Javorek reports speak for themselves. After 3-6 months of training this way men and women he coaches often gain more than 30 pounds and more than doubled their strength. People I train achieve similar results and often lose as much weight and body fat in as little time too.

You don’t have to be an elite athlete to do them or achieve similar results. Anyone can do complexes. If you’re willing to put forth maximum effort and make sure you eat enough protein to build muscle you too can achieve similar results.

The list below details the several benefits of complexes.

• Complexes are convenient. You don’t have to deal with the hassle of changing weights or moving from one piece of equipment to another.
• Complexes save you time. Since you rest so little and don’t have to change equipment or machines each workout only takes 15-20 minutes.
• Complexes don’t require much equipment. All you need to perform this workout is a dumbbell or kettlebell.
• Complexes don’t require a lot of room. You can do this workout in a spare room of your house or backyard.
• Complexes improve your overall fitness. This workout won’t simply make you bigger or stronger. Doing them regularly will help you build muscle, increase your strength, and even increase your flexibility.

The 20 Minute Workout Explained

The exercises in this complex workout are: 1 arm snatches, squats, and shoulder press. Performing a complex with these exercises trains practically every muscle in your body. Your legs, core (abs/lower back), upper back, and shoulders get an especially good workout. You’ll even feel it in your biceps and triceps. My arms got significantly bigger after doing this complex 2-3 times a week for a month. I wasn’t doing any exercises for my arms like curls or triceps push downs either.

Below are descriptions for each exercise. I recommend learning how to do each exercise by itself first. Once you have the movement mastered you can do them as a complex.

1 Arm Snatch

1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart and hold a dumbbell or kettlebell in one hand with your palm facing away from you. The weight should be between your legs.
2. Bend your knees and waist as if you are performing a kettlebell swing. The weight should swing back and between your legs.
3. Once the weight has swung between your legs, pull it forward explosively. Push from your heels onto your toes. Keep your arm straight and extended throughout the movement. You should be on your toes as the weight approaches chest height.
4. Driving with your hips, pull the weight up until your arm is fully extended and you’re holding the weight above your head.
5. Lower the weight to shoulder height and prepare to perform the squat segment of the complex.

Kettlebell Squat

1. Stand holding a dumbbell or kettlebell at shoulder height. Your feet should still be apart at shoulder width.
2. Perform a squat by bending your knees and moving your but back. Your weight should be over your heels.
3. Continue to squat down until your thighs are parallel with the ground. Your heels should never come off the ground.
4. Return to the standing position. Push up from your heels.
5. You’ll finish in the same position from which you started this portion of the exercise. You’re now ready to perform the 1 arm shoulder press.

1 Arm Shoulder Press

1. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart holding a dumbbell or kettlebell at shoulder height. If you’re using a kettlebell it will rest against the back of your hand.
2. Tighten your abs, breath in and press the weight overhead until your arm is completely extended.
3. Lower the weight back to the starting position of the exercise.
4. Return the weight to the starting position of the 1 arm snatch.

Sets, Reps and Rest Periods

Begin with 5 sets of 3 repetitions per arm for each exercise. Add 1 repetition per set every other workout until you can do 5 sets of 8 reps. Once you have achieved this goal you can decrease the amount of rest you take between complexes to make them more challenging and further improve your fitness.

When you can easily do 5 sets of 8 reps with 60 seconds or less rest between each complex it’s time to move only more challenging variations. This can include performing reverse lunges instead of squats and holding the weight overhead as you perform the squatting segment of the exercise. You can also add an additional movement such as the kettlebell swing to the complex.

When You Should Do This 20 Minute Workout

You can do this workout about as often as you like. Doing it 3-5 days a week is most effective.

Another way to add it to your overall workout routine is to perform it on your days off from the gym. This is a great way to consistently train and improve your overall fitness. When doing it with this goal in mind, perform 3-5 sets of 5 reps with a weight you can actually perform 10 reps with so you don’t train too heavy and compromise your ability to recover before your next workout.

On days I have a little more time to train, I like to do this complex as the first exercise of my workout. Then, all I have to do is perform 3-5 sets of plyometric push ups, pull ups, and farmer’s walks and I’m done. I’ll have trained every major muscle group in my body in about 30 minutes tops.

Conclusion

You now have a great workout that enables you to get in a great total body workout in very little time. Since it only requires 1 piece of equipment it’s super convenient too. Even if you are stuck in your office all day long, take a dumbbell or kettlebell to work with you and perform a couple of sets on during a break. Before you know it you’ll find you’re getting results faster than you ever thought possible.

(Photo credit: Workout Time via Shutterstock)

Curt is the founder of Stayfitcentral.com, a website which features reviews, guides, and other information to help people buy the right nutritional supplements and fitness products for their specific needs. Curt has published numerous fitness, nutrition, and health related articles online at leading online publications including: eDiets, iVillage, and Askmen.

Lifehack has been expanding its number of posts per week over the past few months, and we’re looking to add more and more to the site to enhance the overall reader experience. Today marks another of these enhancements — the first being Lifehack Deals — as we are pleased to announce the launch of Lifehack Apps, a destination where you can discover apps that fall into what we talk about here at Lifehack.

What is Lifehack Apps?

Powered by Appstores, Lifehack Apps features apps from all of the major platforms sorted into categories that are based on our blog post categories (Productivity, Money, Management, Technology, Lifestyle and Communication). Lifehack Apps can be viewed in a variety of ways, as you can look at apps based on rating, price, popularity and more. Each app entry will feature a description, and as the store continues to populate, we will be adding editorial reviews as well. Lifehack Apps allows us to conduct more reviews for apps within a portal dedicated to just that — allowing us to focus on using the Lifehack blog for articles that aren’t so much review-based. Whenever we touch on an app, it will bring you — the reader — to Lifehack Apps so that you can read a more comprehensive entry on the app itself. You’ll get a better sense of what the app is about, our thoughts on it (as well as the thoughts of other readers), and be able to decide whether it is right for you.

Lifehack Apps will also be curated by our editors so that we can offer the best experience possible. That means you’ll get the lowdown on all kinds of apps that fit in with what we do here at Lifehack, and you’ll be able to add you own two cents with the commenting system that Appstores serves up at the portal. That makes our Lifehack Apps portal not only a great place to discover apps, but a place where you can discuss those discoveries as well.

We’re just getting started with Lifehack Apps as there is a lot more to it than meets the eye. We’re sorting through the various apps already mentioned and fine-tuning the experience in the process. We’d love to hear your feedback in the comments below. And remember — this is just another of the ways we’re looking to enhance the Lifehack experience for you, our readers. Let us know how we’re doing…and thanks for reading!

(Photo credit: Apps via Shutterstock)

Mike Vardy is the Managing Editor at Lifehack. An independent writer, speaker, podcaster and "productivityist", you can read more of his writing at Vardy.me. He is @mikevardy on Twitter.

Have you ever felt at a loss when you needed to draw the line with someone?

Have you put yourself at a disadvantage when you failed to draw the line because you couldn’t think of a way to do it ?

Have you ever felt mistreated when someone drew a line to your disadvantage?

Setting boundaries is one of the most important parts of relationships. It is more important to satisfactory relationships that just about everything else, since without agreeable boundaries, most relationships cannot function well. The expression, “Good fences make good neighbors,” is true.

At the same time we all have had experience with poor boundaries, boundaries that are too loose or too strict, boundaries that are self-serving and boundaries that feel abusive.

So what can we do about this?

Step 1: Know Yourself And Your Needs

This first step in setting boundaries is to make an appointment with yourself. Make yourself comfortable with a notebook so that you can brainstorm your ideas.

You need to create a map in your mind that enables you to confidently respond to boundary conflicts. When you have that map in your mind, you will feel more relaxed and will be able to handle conflict in a way that works for you and the other person.

This is what you have to come to terms with:

1. What are my most important values? Being clear about your values helps you identify good compromises. Values are the core of your boundary strategy and what you most need to honor.
2. What are my most important priorities? It is easier to say yes or no, when you are honoring your most important priorities.
3. What is non-negotiable for me? Non-negotiable items are related to your values or conditions in your life like your health. It could be family time, diet requirements particularly if you are ill, or values related to doing harm to yourself or others.
4. What can I be somewhat flexible about? Scheduling issues typically fall in this category. An example: “I can work between 7AM-6PM but have to leave no later than 6PM to pick up my children.”
5. What can I always be flexible about? The answer could include family emergencies, activities that are important to a family member, where I jog, and where I live.
6. How do I typically handle trade-offs? Do they usually work for me or not? There is nothing wrong with making sacrifices, but if they are too frequent they can leave you feeling resentful.

When thinking about setting boundaries and making compromises, you are considering the totality of your values, your limits in terms of time and energy and your desire and ability to sacrifice. These are all important issues to understand. Getting a handle on them keeps you from making commitments in a soft moment when your time will not really allow it, causing you to neglect a more important priority.

Since boundary situations are often unique and complex, it is worth purchasing some books on the subject. Here are two that can help:

1. Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and
2. Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries by Anne Katherine, M.A.

Step 2: Planning For Problem Situations

We all have difficult boundary situations. Some will involve a bossy person, a passive person or someone who has different values. Whatever the difficult boundary problems you face, you can help yourself a lot if you plan for them. These are some planning considerations:

1. Identify the boundary situations that are most difficult for you.
2. For each difficult situation imagine a time when a conflict was resolved poorly and one that was resolved to your satisfaction.
3. can you identify when conflict causes problems for you? For example: a passive person might sigh or complain as a way to get your attention and take care of their problems. If you give in to the pressure, you have taken on a problem that is not really yours to solve. Sometimes we do not see boundary issues for what they are because they come disguised as something else or because we like to be helpful.
4. Try to identify when you start to feel manipulated. Is it when someone is unhappy? or complaining? Is it when someone makes decisions for you? or has expectations that are never discussed or explicitly agreed to? Does someone take your things without asking? These situations usually exist because someone has successfully made themselves more important than you.
5. Identify when you are uncomfortable taking action. Is it when someone is very sarcastic, dismissive, or contemptuous? Is it when someone has power within your group or social approval for their behavior that makes them hard to challenge?
6. Identify whether the challenging situation is one that lends itself to the direct one-on-one approach or a longer perhaps more indirect strategy where you need to have a group on your side to effect change.
7. Identify when you need to treat yourself as important as everyone else.

Step 3: Develop Your Strategy

As a general rule, most people want good boundaries as much as you do. Most people are not looking for unnecessary problems.

If you respect others and treat their concerns as valid, they will likely do the same since reciprocity is an ancient rule in human relationships. Therefore when you are willing to listen the another person, it is common courtesy that do the same. It is not unreasonable to want to be listened to as well.

It also helps to be in a problem solving frame of mind. If you ask questions to find out where the other person has some flexibility you can then offer solutions in the form of suggestions, alternatives or even substitutes for what is being asked of you. Since not everyone understands boundaries, you may have to be a leader on finding an agreeable solution.

If I were to create a formula for a boundary setting process it would be:

1. Establish a positive intent. “I love how my blouse looks on you…”
2. State a concern. “That blouse was a gift and is important to me.”
3. Ask questions if necessary. “We need to figure out a holiday schedule. What is your situation and do you have any ideas?”
4. Ask for what you need in a way that respects the other person. “I like to help when I can but I need for you to ask if you want to borrow my things.”
5. Get agreement. “Does that work for you?”

Successful problem-solving is a combination of respect and creativity. When you combine both, your chances of a positive outcome increase.

Step 4: The Tough Cases

The first thing you have to do in tough cases is to give yourself permission to have the problem. If you feel bad about it you will be less effective in solving the problem.

You also need to give yourself permission to fail, because only then will you be loose enough to come up with solutions. Not everyone is cooperative and if you can accept that with good grace, it will help you to relax about conflict. It also helps to know that walking away from a conflict is sometimes necessary and not a sign of failure.

When you have a difficult or stubborn situation, it can help to come up with way to change the existing dynamic.

Here are some ideas:

1. Change the other person’s perception of your value so that you are perceived as important to the other party.
2. Change the social dynamic. You could refuse to interact when someone is unreasonable or use humor to loosen people up when they have dug in their heels. Charm works wonders.
3. If necessary, throw in the towel. You may have heard the story about the villagers who caught a monkey by putting peanuts inside a coconut shell. The monkey found and grabbed the peanuts in the shell. However, he could not hold on to the peanuts and run away from the villagers at the same time. All he had to do was let go and he would have escaped. Sometime letting go is the best way to solve a problem.

Step 5: Implementing Your Strategy

Your experience and comfort level should guide how you decide to implement your boundary implementation strategies. You can start with minor situations with people you know or a boundary that is very important to you.

Step 6: The Key

I believe that the key to setting boundaries and good relationships lies in being in a constructive frame of mind. When the people around you know that you see the good in them, they will be in a positive frame of mind when working with you.

It also helps to have a sense of humor and to be creative.

Good relationships are challenging because we are all both alike and different at the same time. Just making the effort to work on boundaries is something for you to feel proud of. You are creating a better world with each positive step. Every time you find positive interpersonal solutions you essentially help reduce some of the fear and unhappiness in the world. That is a great gift to yourself and others.

Photo Credit: Sourcecon.com

1. Stop waiting for things to change – change yourself NOW! 

Most often that means changing your attitude! Too many times people have preconditions to happiness, only to find even if they reach that goal, there are even more pre-conditions to happiness. Aside for a temporary “high” when we attain our goal, we very quickly go back to a general baseline mood unless we change our thinking habits. If you tend to be a pessimist, you will continue to be no matter what happens on the outside, unless you change from the inside. Real attitude change is an inside job!  

2. Build on your regrets, rather than let them keep you stuck in the past.  

All too often, we use the past as a hitching post rather than a guide post. What’s done is done, and you can’t change it now. Use lessons from the past to improve your life NOW!  See even failure as feedback, not as a referendum of your self worth. Regrets can propel you forward, make you wiser and help you develop empathy for others. Regrets give us many useful lessons to build upon if you do not let them weigh you down. Forgive yourself for now knowing everything when you were six! We are all works in progress. Use your regrets as stepping stones towards a better future, rather than rocks in your emotional backpack.

3. Learn something every day.

 The end of school does not mean the end of learning. We are learning all the time, even if we are not aware of it. Life gives the best lessons of all, and it constantly teaches us lessons no one ever could. If you open up to the wonder of growing and learning, even if the lessons are something you never wanted to learn, you will keep moving in a forward direction.

4. Stop lying to yourself! 

People who are the most honest to others are often the biggest liars to themselves. They feed themselves all sorts of fiction that they are not good enough, not smart enough, not attractive enough, to the extent that they feel at times like “failures”. The critical inner voice is hard to quell, especially if you learned early on those messages that were judgmental and critical.  People who lie to themselves treat fact like fiction.  Change your self talk from statements like “I should be further along in my life than now” to “I am disappointed at where I am in my life, and I have learned many lessons to build on to make different decisions now.”  

5. Forgive…for goodness sake!

Forgiveness does not mean condoning behavior – it means you give up the bitterness you harbor that eats at you and robs you out of happiness in life.  People who wrong us are not inherently evil, but rather more likely unhealthy and maybe very very, very unhealthy. Switching from seeing from being “bad” to being “unhealthy” can free you of the resentment and bitterness. Whether it is your parents, coworkers, friends, or as a result of a love relationship gone sour, forgiveness will help you open up your heart to try again.  Of course, the most important person to forgive is yourself, and keep in mind you are a work in progress.

6. Think straight to feel great! 

Irrational thinking lays the foundation for a lot of unhappiness and helplessness. Irrational thinking can be so automatic, that it is hard to catch, as our thoughts become solidified into “truths.” Our perceptions shape our reality, and that is what determines our attitude. As you become more aware of irrational patterns of thinking and change them into more rational thoughts, you will be empowered to change your attitude to change your life. “I can’t stand this” is irrational – nothing makes you melt into the ground! A more rational perspective is, “I am having a hard time with this”. The less you immobilize yourself with judgmental thoughts, the more you will feel empowered and optimistic.

7. Try to change what is in your control, not what is out of your control.  

Who is the only person we can change? Ourselves!  Who do we often try to change? Others!  Even trying to change someone else’s mind, however well meaning, can lead to frustration as people do not change just because you want them too – they need to want to! If you find yourself trying to change others, you will tend to be aggressive rather than assertive.  Bossiness and insensitivity will limit your ability to be accepting of others, flaws and all.  Of course, accepting people does not give them a “carte blanche” to say or do anything they want – it is up to us to set limits on how much we let them into our inner world. People who tend to be negative and focus on changing others rather than themselves are more likely to be dissatisfied with their lives.

8. Make peace with the fact that life is not fair.

We all know that life is not fair, but all too often we still expect it to be!  Expecting that life and people in it should be fair is the source of countless pain. Life gets quite tedious with that type of entitled mentality. Life is really more like Swiss Cheese with all its holes. It is not smooth and predictable like cream cheese or American.  It is actually the holes in our lives that offer us challenges that make us stronger and develop depth of character.  If we embrace the holes in our lives and grow through them, we become healthier in mind and spirit. Try as hard as you can to make life fair, and accept the rest and work around it.

9. Let yourself smile from within.

   People who are grateful for what they have instead of comparing themselves to others, feeling bitter about what they do not have, tend to feel less hacked by life. Pre-conditions to gratefulness is like pre-conditions to happiness – gratefulness will never happen unless we learn to be grateful for things in our life now.  Life can be tough and it is easier to find faults with it, but it will be an easier journey if we stop to smell the roses, slow down, and enjoy beauty in your world today.   Immerse yourself in nature, breath in the fresh air, slow down and savor each bite of food, and stop to lovingly gaze on those close to you.  Don’t take them for granted.  Are you too busy for that?  Let yourself be a human being instead of a human doing. 

10. Don’t wait to change your life – do it today!  Start right now!

You want your life to change?  Don’t wait!  Tomorrow is forever put off, and today is the day to start.  You can empower yourself by using “victor” language instead of “victim” language.  Replace “I should” with “I will”  and “I hate to” with “I don’t like”. The more flexible your self talk, the more you feel empowered and will be proactive.  Proactivity is one of the 7 habits of highly effective people according to Stephen Covey. Those who are proactive are more likely to be masters of their destiny, as opposed to those who are reactive, who allow others to control their moods. Make an action list of things you want to accomplish, and start today!  You do not have to do things all at once, and breaking large goals such as losing weight, can be broken down into little sub-goals.  The important thing is to begin today!

Each day that you choose to remind yourself of these ten skills to hack life rather than let life hack you, you will increase your sense of self-mastery and enjoy life more.

I welcome ideas of how you hack life!

(Photo credit: A Better Life Sign via Shutterstock)