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Sexy Soccer Studs

2009-11-10T11:54:00.013-06:00

Anybody else stoked for the 2010 World Cup??

Living Longer, But Aging Faster - Yeah, AIDS is "manageable"

2009-11-10T09:30:00.001-06:00

The introduction of protease inhibitors and drug cocktails in the 1990s meant that AIDS patients could live longer than ever thought.

Before 1996, when new drugs were rolled out, life expectancy was 18 months post-diagnosis. Now, AIDS patients regularly live decades with the disease. But as these patients live longer, unanticipated side effects — caused by the disease itself, medications to treat it or both — introduce a new set of maladies.

David France, a contributing editor at New York Magazine, was motivated to write a story on AIDS-related aging after noticing that a number of his friends with the disease were having what he describes as cognitive issues.

"[They were] forgetting things, forgetting appointments, forgetting whole conversations," France told NPR's Steve Inskeep.

Researchers are finding that patients who live longer with AIDS also begin to suffer from osteoporosis, various forms of cancer, kidney disease and cardiovascular disease.

Read the rest (and listen to the audio.)

Can a Boy Wear a Skirt to School?

2009-11-10T08:32:00.000-06:00

“It was terrible!” said Ms. Sturgis, an honors student, band president and soccer goalie, who has been openly gay since 10th grade. “If you put a boy in a drape, that’s me! I have big shoulders and ooh, it didn’t look like me! I said, ‘I can’t do this!’ So my mom said, ‘Try on the tux.’ And that looked normal.”

via New York Times, by Jan Hoffman

By now, most high school dress codes have just about done away with the guesswork.

Girls: no midriff-baring blouses, stiletto heels, miniskirts.

Boys: no sagging pants, muscle shirts.

But do the math.

“Rules” + “teenager” = “challenges.”

If the skirt is an acceptable length, can a boy wear it?

Can a girl attend her prom in a tuxedo?

In recent years, a growing number of teenagers have been dressing to articulate — or confound — gender identity and sexual orientation. Certainly they have been confounding school officials, whose responses have ranged from indifference to applause to bans.

Last week, a cross-dressing Houston senior was sent home because his wig violated the school’s dress code rule that a boy’s hair may not be “longer than the bottom of a regular shirt collar.” In October, officials at a high school in Cobb County, Ga., sent home a boy who favored wigs, makeup and skinny jeans. In August, a Mississippi student’s senior portrait was barred from her yearbook because she had posed in a tuxedo.

Other schools are more accepting of unconventional gender expression. In September, a freshman girl at Rincon High School in Tucson who identifies as male was nominated for homecoming prince. Last May, a gay male student at a Los Angeles high school was crowned prom queen.

Dress code conflicts often reflect a generational divide, with students coming of age in a culture that is more accepting of ambiguity and difference than that of the adults who make the rules.

“This generation is really challenging the gender norms we grew up with,” said Diane Ehrensaft, an Oakland psychologist who writes about gender. “A lot of youths say they won’t be bound by boys having to wear this or girls wearing that. For them, gender is a creative playing field.” Adults, she added, “become the gender police through dress codes.”

Dress is always code, particularly for teenagers eager to telegraph evolving identities. Each year, schools hope to quell disruption by prohibiting the latest styles that signify a gang affiliation, a sexual act or drug use.
But when officials want to discipline a student whose wardrobe expresses sexual orientation or gender variance, they must consider antidiscrimination policies, mental health factors, community standards and classroom distractions.

And safety is a critical concern. In February 2008, Lawrence King, an eighth-grader from Oxnard, Calif., who occasionally wore high-heeled boots and makeup, was shot to death in class by another student.

Read the rest.

FOCUS GROUP - Attitudes Towards Couples-Based HIV Testing

2009-11-09T19:00:00.001-06:00

Attitudes Towards Couples-Based HIV Testing among

Gay and Bisexual Men

To sign-up, please call 773.388.8892

On the Biomedical Question - Are We Set for PrEP?

2009-11-09T15:17:00.040-06:00

Charles Stephens wonders what oral prevention and rectal microbicides might mean for prevention and pleasure, risk and taboo.

Condom-centric HIV prevention created the “cum pig.” No one back then in the 80s, could have known that, but here we are.

There has been a considerable amount of discussion, debate, and exploration around the scientific and ethical implications of biomedical HIV prevention. This I believe has been useful. However, moving forward, it’s imperative that we consider the implications such advances might have for our community and sexual practices for gay men.

So far, especially as it relates to PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis, or oral prevention), I’ve mostly heard things like “it will just mean more gay men will have sex without condoms.” And usually, I’m the one in the room that says, “maybe that’s not a bad thing.”

These discussions are important, even if they are limited and frustrating, because we have to think ahead. We have to imagine how these shifts in prevention technologies and strategies today, will influence our sexual practices, inform our identities, and shape our communities tomorrow.

Essentially, we have to question what these advances will mean for the future of gay men. How rectal microbicides, for example, might influence how we as gay men experience anal sex. How we think about anal sex. And how the potential meanings we attach to both anal sex and our anuses will evolve, along with our sexual landscapes and fantasies. The strategies we develop around prevention, can’t only be for the present, but also for the future.

Read more »

The condom-centric approach to gay men’s HIV prevention, influenced the rise of barebacking, if not created it. Condom-centric HIV prevention created the “cum pig.” No one back then in the 80s, could have known that, but here we are.

Certainly “raw” sex has always existed, and the exchange of bodily fluids, and so forth. There can be books and books on top of books written about gay men and their relationship to semen. The meanings they attach to it. Hell, classic gay porn is as much historical documentation as entertainment.

But as our semen started to be seen as lethal and deadly, in the HIV prevention discourse, and the centralization of the condom, the taboo was created. A taboo that created heightened awareness and eroticization of cum. Essex Hemphill’s poem “Now We Think,” comes to mind.

These days individual identities and tribal affinities seem to be increasingly informed by one’s desire to bareback or not. A proliferation of new identities and personas have emerged around the decision to go it raw or not. More consequences of early and arguably current prevention strategies. Of course no one imagined that telling people to use condoms in the 80s would later mean J.C. Carter giving his brilliantly raunchy performance in Nasty Men in the 2000s.

And we certainly cannot look into a crystal ball and see what the introduction of biomedical prevention strategies will mean for gay men’s sexuality 50 years from now. But that does not mean we should not try. And not only in the context of more virus or less virus. But also the types of communities and affinity groups that might be created, the kinds of identities that might be formed, the new sexual practices and categories that might arise. All through biomedical prevention.

I make this point, not to suggest we should build some time machine and go back to the past to prevent the eroticization of semen and the development around condom-less sex as a taboo. Nor do I raise these points as a cautionary tale. What I hope that our reading of the past will do is show that our communities are dynamic, that pleasure is complex, and that there are always unintended results of our efforts.

With our best intentions, and our best efforts to control behavior, we have opened up a Pandora’s Box of pleasures, desires and practices we did not imagine. And as we inject biomedical science deeper into prevention, we have to be prepared for the litany of meanings and practices that will be opened up. This is not to condemn or encourage barebacking or any other kind of sex, nor prevent it. Rather to understand and better grasp the slippery terrain of desire, the complexities of sex, and the resilience of pleasure, to ensure that gay men’s health strategies can keep up with our ever evolving sexual cultures.

Peter, I feel depressed and can’t seem to shake the sense of “who cares anyway?” Any advice?

2009-11-09T13:34:00.001-06:00

[Peter Pointers is here 4 YOU, as a service to LifeLube readers - whatever question you may have regarding sexual health, physical health, mental/emotional and spiritual health - ask him. He will find the answers you are looking 4. from a team of experts Below is a recent Q&A you may be interested to read.]

Question: There have been some challenges in my life lately, and I have been feeling really down. Even since some of them have been resolved, I still feel depressed and can’t seem to shake the sense of “who cares anyway?” Any advice? I saw a therapist a long time ago – in college – around coming out issues, but didn’t find it all that helpful.

Answer: First of all, thank you for reaching out and sending me an e-mail. I am sorry to hear you’re not feeling so great these days, but I think it’s a very good thing you are willing to share this with someone else.

Importantly, if you are experiencing a desire to hurt yourself or someone else, or feel like you are overwhelmed with these emotions or do not have hope, please call one of the many wonderful resources available to people in a time of need or crisis:

LGBT Crisis Hotline (24 hours)
773.871.CARE
773.871.2273

Hopeline (24 hours)
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-TALK
1-800-273-8255

Even though I don’t have all the information about what you are going through, it sounds like your life is being effected heavily by the way you are feeling. Reaching out to someone for information and support is a very important step to helping yourself cope with what you are going through.

However, I would strongly suggest that you seek out someone that you can speak with personally and with greater detail about what is going on and how it is impacting you. Talking with someone about what you’re going through can be really comforting, and they hopefully can help you get back to feeling good. I’d like to go ahead and give you some referrals of places and people with whom you can talk. Talking with a professional is important to tap into the guidance and expertise that they have.

In Chicago, one good place to start is the Howard Brown Health Center, which provides mental health services specifically tailored for the LGBT community, with counseling and psychotherapy available in the Behavioral Health Services department.
         4525 N. Sheridan Rd., Chicago, IL, 60613
         773- 388-1600

Another place is the Center on Halsted, Chicago’s community center dedicated to the LGBT community. They offer a variety of mental health services, including counseling, which are available on a sliding scale basis and a number of insurance plans are accepted as well.
        3656 N. Halsted, Chicago, IL, 60613
        773.472.6643

Also, Psychology Today has a searching tool where you can locate therapists near you. This site allows you to read the therapists profiles, which will tell you about their perspectives, specializations, and service fees:

I hope you can find one of these referrals to be of use to you. Again I think that a first good step is to give it another try and speak with someone. Please feel free to contact me with any other questions, or to let me know how things are going for you.

Be Well,
Peter
Peter Pointers on LifeLube, E-mail Peter
Friend Peter on Facebook

High prevalence of anal chlamydia in Swiss HIV-positive gay men

2009-11-06T11:00:00.002-06:00

via Aidsmap, by Michael Carter

A large proportion of HIV-positive gay men in Switzerland have anorectal infection with chlamydia, investigators report in the November 15th edition of Clinical Infectious Diseases. The researchers suggest that undiagnosed anal chlamydia infections could be contributing to the continued spread of HIV amongst gay men in Switzerland.

Gay and other men who have sex with men remain the group most affected by HIV in many industrialised countries, including Switzerland. Sexually transmitted infections also disproportionately affect gay men. If left untreated these infections, including chlamydia, can significantly increase the risk of acquiring HIV. As reported on aidsmap.com UK investigators found that many chlamydia infections in gay men were in the rectum, and that HIV-positive gay men were disproportionately affected by rectal chlamydia

Investigators from the Swiss HIV cohort therefore postulated that anorectal chlaymdia infection could be contributing to the ongoing HIV epidemic amongst gay men in the country.

They therefore screened 147 HIV-positive men who reported unprotected receptive anal sex in the previous two years for the infection. The aims of their study were to determine the prevalence and symptoms of anorectal chlamydia, and to see if they could identify any risk factors associated with the infection.

Read the rest.

Feel the Love... Sister Glo channels William Sloane Coffin

2009-11-06T08:00:00.001-06:00

The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love.

~William Sloane Coffin

Sister Glo shares her glittery gems of love with LifeLube each Friday.

Friday is for Faeries

2009-11-06T07:00:00.001-06:00

Refusing to Have Sex With HIV-Positive People: Why It's Not a Prevention Strategy

2009-11-05T14:00:00.000-06:00

Reposted from Trevor Hoppe's Trevorade Blog

I was having drinks with a friend of mine -- we'll call him Patrick here -- this weekend when the subject of having sex with HIV-positive men came up. "Oh, I would never have sex with an HIV-positive guy," he casually remarked -- as if such a thing were already obvious. I was shocked not just by Patrick's statement, but also by the categorical bravado in his delivery. To have sex with HIV-positive men, as he went on to explain, was to expose himself to unnecessary risk of infection. I've been replaying this conversation again and again in my head. How could he be so outrageously calculating in his cooly expressed exclusionary strategy? Today I want to spend a few moments reflecting on these kinds of statements, because I think many people would uncritically read them as legitimate prevention strategies. I will argue here, however, that in reality that these kinds of strategies that are totally bankrupt in terms of actual risk reduction. Moreover, what I think this kind of statement actually tends to do is not actually promote any real reduction in risk, but rather to reinforce and reproduce harmful stigma against HIV-positive people.

Read the rest...

In Search of a Cure: Working to Turn On HIV

2009-11-05T13:00:00.000-06:00

via amfAR, by Rowena Johnston, Ph.D., and Jeffrey Laurence, M.D.

Much of the research aimed at developing new therapeutic strategies for HIV deals with finding ways to limit the ability of the virus to make copies of itself. But in some situations, turning on the virus—activating its growth from silent or latent reservoirs resistant to antiretroviral drug attack—may be just as important, particularly in the search for strategies to eradicate the last vestiges of HIV. Two amfAR-funded scientists, Dr. David Margolis of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Dr. Miranda Shehu-Xhilaga of Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, addressed this concept in separate articles published this September in two issues of AIDS.

As paradoxical as it might seem, dialing up the growth of the virus may be a valid strategy in HIV-infected individuals who have been successfully treated with antiretroviral drugs.

Read the rest.

The "Work-In" - The "I" Word

2009-11-05T09:00:00.000-06:00

by Ed Negron, a former drug user, turned gangbanger, turned drug dealer, turned own best customer, turned addict, turned recovering addict (still there), turned activist, turned business manager, turned student, turned Substance Abuse Counselor, turned better and happier person, turned someone who can love and be loved (Love you Patrick), turned blogger. Check out Ed's own blog here.

Featured (almost) Every Thursday on LifeLube --- check out all of Ed's "Work-In's" here.

Intimacy was a topic of the night with of a group for men I facilitate. I was surprised at what I heard and saw that night. There was a big charge in the room. The conversation got heated up, no pun intended, as each man gave their interpretation of intimacy. One man said it doesn’t exist in the gay community because all men are dogs and just want to fuck like they’re in a porn video. Another man said after being married for 4 years the intimacy is gone. One thing that all the interpretations had in common was they were all about sex.

Today, the word intimacy has taken on sexual connotations. But it is much more than that. It includes all the different aspects of our lives - the physical, emotional, mental, sexual, but also the social and spiritual aspects as well. Intimacy means sharing of one’s total self, firm commitment with another person, mutually supportive, understanding and accepting of each other. Yes it does take some work. It involves trusting someone else, being vulnerable, selflessness, and honesty just to name a few things. This is why it is easier for most people to be physically or sexually intimate with someone than to be intimate in any of the other areas. So let’s move away from the physical and sexual for a while.

I’m not going to get into why it is difficult for gay and bi men to be intimate because that’s all we hear and see. You can Google it and find all the negative stuff out there. I want to continue to keep it on the positive side. Because being gay or bi does not always lead to a life of gloom and doom. My blog is about reclaiming who we are and dispelling what society would have us believe about ourselves.

Let’s talk about social intimacy. Some of your close friends will reach this level. The people you spend time with, go to the movies, shopping or share common interests form social intimacy. We all need this from time to time, especially if you are in a relationship. It helps you keep your own unique identity. Social intimacy in your relationship also means to find enough in common with the other person so that you will enjoy your time together.

Reaching mental or intellectual intimacy is the first true test of a relationship and where you first begin to trust your partner with your deeper self. This is where you share your hopes, fears, opinions and beliefs without fear of being judged or chastised. This is where trust, vulnerability and honesty are put the test. Your closest friendships will also achieve this level of intimacy. Intellectual intimacy will tell you more about the real person in front of you and give you a solid insight to the person behind the public image they portray.

Now we get into one of the most critical ingredients to a long-term healthy relationship, emotional intimacy. Lots of couples never make it to emotional intimacy because it’s here where we must accept the person for whom he or she is without reservation, flaws, irrationality and all. At this level, you feel comfortable sharing yourself without fear of repercussions. You both feel comfortable expressing and sharing their anger, happiness, secrets, sensual side and sexual feelings with each other. You know you are loved and love your partner no matter how either of you feel or act. It's about trust and letting another see us at our worst and our best. Who do you first call or go to when something exciting or bad happens to you? For me the first person I call is my partner Patrick. This may steer you into the direction of spiritual intimacy.

Spiritual intimacy is where you find your soul mate. This is where we look beyond the physical and mental being of a person. It means loving the other person as you love yourself, becoming one spirit. You will now have an unconditional love for your partner. C.S. Lewis, author of The Chronicles of Narnia, describes it as a deep bond involving the experience of another person which he calls a “kindred soul.” He suggests that kindred souls are people that see the same truth or better yet, care about the same truth. C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves. We can also experience this with a friend who follows our same journey. Finally we can get back to physical and sexual intimacy.

First let’s talk about physical intimacy. Physical intimacy in the relationship is also a very important component of your happiness in that relationship. Many people think that physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are one in the same, but they are not. Physical intimacy can occur when two people hold hands or just setting on the couch together watching a good movie. Because intimacy is when two people become one with each physical intimacy can also happen when you gaze into each others eyes from across a crowd room. At that moment when the world doesn’t seem to matter it’s just about you and the other person.

Now to the most popular form of intimacies - sexual intimacy. Sexual intimacy and fulfillment is something we all long for, yes having sex like you are in a porn video is fun but it can still leave you feeling unfilled. Sexual intimacy involves the full range of sensual awareness including touch, kiss, looks, expressions of endearment, communication, and of course, sex and orgasm. To get here you look inward and explore your attitudes and habits related to sexual intimacy - and let go of old constrictions about sex. Become aware of each other feelings around sex including fear, wants and needs. Communication and awareness are the keys to bringing pleasure to a relationship.

We don’t have to be afraid of the “I” word any more. We are all capable of being intimate. Let yourself experience it and sharing it. One way to get over the fear is to talk about it.

Next week, Wednesday, Nov. 11th, the wonderful folks at LifeLube.org, Project CRYSP, and the Feast of Fun are hosting a special gay men’s health forum (and live podcast) at the Center on Halsted.

We're Taking Pleasure Back

When did gay sex automatically equate to penetration?

Why do our conversations about gay men's sexuality consistently focus on disease and risk?

Join us to discuss ways gay men can explore our desires and be intimate, sexual, sensual, lusty and loving with each other - without any worries of risk and/or disease. Let's think creatively and expansively - and learn about some research on pleasure as well.

Featured panelists include Gary Harper from DePaul University, activist and spoken word artist Keith Green (also Project PrEP director) and Samuel R. Galloway, a sex educator from Tulip Toy Gallery (also from the University of Chicago.)

As always, Fausto Fernos and Marc Felion of the Feast of Fun will host the proceedings, and will be recording the event for a podcast.

Doors open for nibbles at 6:00p, program begins promptly at 7p.

The event is FREE, but RSVP's are required. Please RSVP today.

(Usual disclaimer applies, with emphasis: The suggestions on this blog are just that “SUGGESTIONS.” My words cannot heal your pain and or addictions. Nor can I change your life. Only you can.)

Visit my blog at thework-in.blogspot.com or to read daily motivations visit http://backtothebasicsplease.com/wordpress

If you are not sure how to begin your work-in or need some guidance please feel free to post a comment or email me directly at thework-in@hotmail.com, I will response as soon as I can.

“Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness." -- Shakti Gawain

Who's That Queer

2009-11-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

Brought to you by Pistol Pete

Cole Porter remains one of America's all-time greatest composers and songwriters. His work is characterized by witty and sophisticated lyrics with complex and clever use of rhythm and rhyme.

The 1930s were the golden period for Porter as he enjoyed a string of hit songs, Broadway shows and, eventually, Hollywood musicals. Porter had a gift for self-promotion and attracting and writing for the brightest talents of the age and many songs and shows were written specifically with stars such as Fred Astaire, Ethel Merman and Fanny Brice in mind.

Porter was plainly and openly homosexual, which was not a concern for his almost a decade older wife, Linda Lee Thomas. They both got what they wanted from each other. Linda was no longer interested in sex and was the glamorous wife of a world famous songwriter, who would never physically mistreat her as her first husband is reputed to have done; Cole had a beautiful woman on his arm when the situation warranted it. In those days, it was not uncommon for wealthy gay men to marry wealthy socialtes. Cole and Linda did separate in the early 1930s when Porter's sexuality became more and open during their time living in Hollywood.

He had affairs with Ballet Russes star Boris Kochnon 1925, and reportedly had a long relationship with his constant companion Howard Sturges, a Boston socialite, as well as architect Ed Tauch (for whom Porter wrote Easy To Love) , choreographer Nelson Barclift (who inspired Night and Day), director John Wilson and longtime friend Ray Kelly, whose children still receive half of Porter`s royalties. When in Hollywood, Porter was also a regular at George Cukor's Sunday pool parties - men-only affairs populated by young Hollywood hopefuls and their admirers.

In 1937, Porter was thrown from a horse and his legs badly crushed, effectively crippling him. He endured more than 40 operations on his legs and the constant pain left him with terrible depression for which he received brutal experimental electric shock therapy, although he continued to write. Eventually, ulceration led to his right leg being amputated, and he spent the rest of his long life with an artificial limb.

If you ever see the Hollywood biopic of Porter's life Night & Day (1946) starring Cary Grant and Alexis Smith as Cole and Linda, enjoy it for the music, but the story is so sanitized and romanticized as to be practically fiction.

Source: Gay for Today

Anus Designed for Exit: Wacko Doctor Tells DC Council No Gay Marriage

2009-11-04T14:27:00.002-06:00

''The immediate action of passing the same-sex marriage bill, 18 40 82, is to normalize predominantly homosexual activity such as anal sex and require the promotion in the schools as a legal, normal activity and part of the sex education.... Who will protect the children? There are more HIV infections among young black men who have sex with men, aged 13-29, than among any other age group.... I am aware that students are terrified to be taken out of sex ed. They get on their knees and beg to their parents to be included. Because, to be outside is to be labeled the conservative. To go to the library while everyone else is in class having sex ed, means that you then --. When you refuse to go to sex ed, you then become the group that is discriminated against.... The anus was designed for exit, not entrance.... [Lesbian marriages] are not my argument.''

Read more of this crazy shit at Metro Weekly.

What about single people? Huh?

2009-11-04T11:00:00.001-06:00

Advocacy on Behalf of All Unmarried Americans -- Single or Coupled, Gay or Straight

via Huffington Post, by Bella DePaulo

Think for a moment or two, and you can probably come up with the names of GLBT advocacy groups, and even the names of leaders who pursue same-sex marriage rights and broader social justice on behalf of the GLBT community. But if, for example, same-sex marriage became legal nationwide, that would still leave millions of Americans of every sexual orientation left out of the protections that come only from being legally married. Not every gay or straight person is married or wants to be, and that will never change.

So who is advocating for the rights of all unmarried Americans -- single or coupled, gay or straight?

At the forefront of the movement to create a more just society for all single people is Nicky Grist, Executive Director of the Alternatives to Marriage Project (AtMP). AtMP is a national nonprofit organization dedicated to the goals of erasing marital status discrimination from our laws and policies. Its members come from all 50 states as well as Canada.

She agreed to discuss her work with me. Here is our interview.

Woof Wednesday

2009-11-04T07:00:00.001-06:00

How is Samuel Galloway healthy?

2009-11-03T14:00:00.002-06:00

Samuel is a featured panelist on our last gay men's health forum of they year - "We're Taking Pleasure Back" - November 11 at the Center on Halsted. Click here for more info and to RSVP for this free, fantastic forum.

I realized I am a healthy gay man when I realized there is a difference between gay concepts of health and straight concepts of gay health.

For my parents, for instance, living a "gay lifestyle" was tantamount to a death-sentence, whether because some homophobe thug would beat me to death (Matthew Shepard's murder had recently been seared into the collective unconscious) or because, quite simply, every sexual encounter with another gay man bore the seal of death. For my parents, health meant monogamy, and abstinence until then. It meant avoiding nightclubs and bars, and "passing" when on the streets. It meant, in other words, "health" meant living in constant fear of sickness or danger.

For a long time I allowed myself to be governed by this bizarre view of health, but increasingly it didn't match-up with the lives of my friends, the ways they lived and loved, and cared for themselves and one another. It became quite clear that "health" wasn't the absence of sickness, but rather an active practice of living.

I am very lucky to have such stellar exemplars of living a healthy life in my friends--some of whom are positive, but who refuse to see their status as a death-sentence. They gave me the courage to discover inventive ways of staying physically active, practicing safe-sex practices while also avoiding the almost endemic awkwardness that usually goes hand-in-hand it "the question," and to simply view my life through a different lens.

It wasn't easy--learning to live as a gay man without being haunted by the specters of standards past is a process that takes time and devotion. I had to "unlearn" the guilt that was so deeply ingrained in my mind and struck so pointedly whenever I went out to dance with friends, or would go on a date with a charming stranger. Yet, strange as it may sound, I don't blame my parents--quite the opposite! I can see their reactions as symptomatic of a general social understanding of gay culture.

And, as I've had to struggle against such views, I've become empowered. I trust my own judgments like never before, and I've learned to trust my friends and their judgments, too. Learning to think and judge for myself, ironically, put me in exactly the position my parents always wanted: healthy, affirmative, and proud. Over time, they've come to see this, too, and their own understanding of "health" has changed in the process.

There are real dangers out there--that is not in dispute. But, learning how to navigate those straits is intimately bound-up in claiming one's own healthy body anew, and to fashion practices that affirm, rather than repress, the life we want to live.

There is no "universal law" that governs and orders what health is or isn't; instead, health is a personal and communal process of life, and this means always committing ourselves to the ideals we cherish. As a community, we are well underway in this process, and so many young queers are able to look to us as exemplars of healthy gay life--a gift of a new tradition and culture of health we should happily embody.

-- Samuel Galloway
Chicago

How are you healthy?
Join in the conversation.
Tell us HERE. Send a pic to the same place.
And we'll blog it, right here.
Read past posts.
Learn more about the campaign.

Report: Gay couples similar to straight spouses

2009-11-03T09:00:00.000-06:00

via AP, by Lisa Leff

Same-sex couples who identify as married are similar to straight spouses in terms of age and income, and nearly one-third of them are raising children, according to Census data released Monday that provides a demographic snapshot of gay families in America.

The study released by a think tank based at UCLA also found that Utah and Wyoming were among the states with the highest percentages of gay spouses in 2008, despite being heavily conservative states with no laws providing legal recognition of gay relationships.

The data from the annual American Community Survey showed that nearly 150,000 same-sex couples in the U.S., or more than one in four, referred to one another as "husband" or "wife," although UCLA researchers estimate that no more than 32,000 of the couples were legally married.

The couples had an average age of 52 and household incomes of $91,558, while 31 percent were raising children. That compares with an average age of 50, household income of $95,075 and 43 percent raising children for married heterosexual couples.

Aspirational masculine health - Chinese style

2009-11-03T08:00:00.000-06:00

This large inflatable has been, um, erected in Hangzhou, in China's Zhejiang Province, to promote the upcoming 'Masculine Health Day'.

Laura Ricketts Is First Openly Gay MLB Owner

2009-11-02T13:02:00.003-06:00

The Chicago Cubs have reached a baseball milestone and it has nothing to do with their century-plus World Series drought.

With the team's purchase by the Ricketts Family, the Cubs are the first Major League Baseball team to have an openly gay owner.

Among the new owners is Laura Ricketts, an out lesbian who is also on the board of the gay rights organization Lambda Legal, the Windy City Times reports.

Read the rest at HuffPo.

My What a Lovely, Masculine Mug You Have

2009-11-02T13:00:00.002-06:00

For gay and straight men, facial attraction operates similarly - via Science Blog

A new study from a researcher at Harvard University finds that gay men are most attracted to the most masculine-faced men, while straight men prefer the most feminine-faced women.

The findings suggest that regardless of sexual orientation, men's brains are wired for attraction to sexually dimorphic faces -- those with facial features that are most synonymous with their gender.

Read the rest.

Postexposure Prophylaxis (PEP) for HIV Infection - Evaluation and Treatment

2009-11-02T11:00:00.001-06:00

via The New England Journal of Medicine, by Raphael J. Landovitz, M.D., and Judith S. Currier, M.D.

This Journal feature begins with a case vignette highlighting a common clinical problem. Evidence supporting various strategies is then presented, followed by a review of formal guidelines, when they exist. The article ends with the authors' clinical recommendations.

A 24-year-old man presents to an outpatient clinic, reporting that 36 hours previously he had receptive anal intercourse without the use of a condom with an anonymous male partner who was known to have had sex with other men. The patient is known to the clinical practice and has had several negative tests for human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) infection, most recently 6 months previously. How should he be evaluated and treated?

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Learn more about PEP on LifeLube (less clinical, more keepin it real.)

Monday Morning Perk-Up

2009-11-02T07:00:00.000-06:00

Brought to you by Pistol Pete

Is that a stimulus package in your pants?

2009-10-31T15:00:00.001-05:00

More Awkward Boners

The End is Near - Obama and the HIV Travel Ban

2009-10-30T08:08:00.002-05:00

UPDATE - The ban has been lifted!!!

President Obama announced today that his administration is lifting travel restrictions into the country for those with HIV/AIDS.

"If we want to be a global leader on HIV/AIDS, we have to act like it," he declared, before signing a bill extending the HIV/AIDS treatment act named for Ryan White, who was diagnosed with AIDS at 13 and died in 1984. The bill provides medical care, medication, and support services to about 500,000, mostly poor, people.

The travel ban, imposed 22 years ago, will be lifted in January, according to a final regulation that will be published Monday, Obama said.

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via Advocate, by Kerry Eleveld

President Barack Obama is expected Friday to announce an end to the HIV Travel and Immigration Ban during a signing ceremony for the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment Extension Act scheduled for 11:50 a.m., according to a source at an agency that works closely with the Administration.

"My understanding was that this would be announced the same day as the Ryan White Act was signed into law," said the source, who spoke to The Advocate on the condition of anonymity. "The White House wanted to be out in front on this."

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Read the official rule.