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Vote for Specialised Kinesiology, Vote for Health

Juliet du Preez — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:13:36 GMT

Hi everybody,

I am exceptionally, so, incredibly excited. Why? Well, there are two reasons actually. Because:

One of my articles has been put forward for voting up the ranks at Hub Pages
This article happens to be about Specialized Kinesiology - a passion of mine - that I now get to promote shamelessly and to a big audience.

Actually, come to think of it, I feel my second reason brings me the most joy!

Anyway, I'd love for you to join me in promoting my article and this holistic therapy. If you don't know much about Specialized Kinesiology, well, that is what the article covers.

So, to vote, here's where you go:

Voting for Articles

Scroll down and down and you'll get to the voting block. My article is "Specialized Kinesiology: Let Your Body Heal You".

Also, here's a link to my article - you'll see that at the bottom of the article there is a rating option but this has nothing to do with the voting. You have to go to voting link above to cast your ballot.

Specialized Kinesiology: Let Your Body Heal You

Of course this is a free world and Specialized Kinesiology is all about freedom, so, no pressure to vote for me! And, feel free to pass along.

Cheers,
Juliet

P.S. More of my articles on Hub Pages

Socrates: The Test of Three

Juliet du Preez — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 10:56:29 GMT

This is an old story that I came across again today. Somehow it touched me deeply - yet again - and I thought I would share it. Perhaps it will also serve as a reminder to you, perhaps it is something new...

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students....?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."

"Test of Three?"

"That's correct," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to test what you're going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man replied, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates.. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued, "You may still pass though, because there is a third test - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and ashamed and said no more.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

Coping With Praise

Juliet du Preez — Tue, 12 May 2009 05:02:29 GMT

A few month's ago, for the first time, I published a poem of mine on the web. Writing online has been a big step for me, and adding a poem to my collection has been another step.

I have been overwhelmed by the positive response. It seems that my poetry has touched people's lives. That, for me, is a dream come true. To bring enjoyment or encouragement or relief or thought or ideas or inspiration to a person's life, is the ultimate for me.

But, alongside this wonderful experience, I have realized that I have difficulty with being praised, with positive feedback. So I have been thinking about why one struggles to accept, or even believe, praise or accolades or positive comments. And I would like to share my thoughts with you here.

Breaking down beliefs

For me, positive comments on my poetry go against my (very self-limiting) beliefs that I don't have any skills or capabilities in this area. It is a colossal task to break down such beliefs and having positive commentary staring at me, can be like facing a battlefield.

I'd say that most of the difficulties that I am experiencing with respect to praise for my writing stem from the process of changing beliefs.

Pressure of expectations and fear of failure

With praise seem to come expectations. One can feel as if one is expected to achieve certain standards in the future, perform similar tasks etc. Whatever it is: do it again, and possibly even do it better next time. (These expectations could be self-imposed as well as external)

Here come all of the "what if" scenarios: "What if" I fail next time? "What if" that particular person doesn't like it? "What if" I can't live up to it? etc.

Talk about setting oneself up for stunted creativity, frustration and anxiety. This is exactly what I do. And not only in the writing arena.

But, the other day, Cornel said to me: "You've been doing this for a while now, it's not your first poem."
It's true, I've written numerous others and this one turned out successful, why shouldn't the next, or if not that one, another one in the future?

Fear of criticism

Criticism is another big "fear-friend" of mine. If you put yourself out there for praise, you put yourself out there for criticism. Everyone's tastes differ. Some will like your work and some won't (even if they usually do enjoy it). Some will say it (and some won't). At the end of the day, it's about learning to handle criticism and use it productively. It's a lesson I need.

And another lesson I need is to not take other people's words and actions so personally. As they say, it doesn't matter what other people think.

Being shy

I am shy. Praise puts one in the lime-light. Even if it is just one person's lime-light. That is stressful. What should I do? If I want the praise, I need to accept the spotlight as being part of it and embrace it. It is easier behind the keyboard I think ;)

Deserving it

I think that sometimes one can feel as if one hasn't worked hard enough for the achievement or the praise is too much etc. It can even evoke feelings of guilt. I think the answer is to accept the praise. Whatever you have done, someone finds value in it. Accept praise as a gift; simply say "thank you". And remember to give yourself praise! Recognize your own achievements or success.

Fear of change

When we receive praise, we have taken an action which will have resulted in some sort of change (no matter how small). It could be a change in your life or it could be a change in your being or a change in other's perceptions of you. Change is difficult. Change is risky. This action may alter the course of one's life - again, no matter how small. But, change and risk (even a little of it) is what gives the spark of life. The future can be a scary beast.

Fear of success

Accolades can also mean we are succeeding and sometimes success can be daunting. If you are achieving what you want, finding a way to your dream, with the thrill can come disbelief and discomfort. Success can mean changing jobs, or becoming wealthy or letting go etc. Sometimes, and it may seem strange, but we have some uncertainties or limiting beliefs around the implications of success.

So, at the end of the day, what to do with praise? Accept it. Accept it graciously and with humility. Never become blas� or arrogant, keep in the present and remember to acknowledge your own achievements.

Love Beyond Valentines

Juliet du Preez — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 11:14:14 GMT

Today I went into a card shop to find an I-love-you-type card for Cornel. I walked up and down the isles. Nothing. I saw Birthday cards, sympathy, wedding, congratulations, baby, thank you etc. But, nothing about Love.

(Did I mention it was a CARD shop? I mean a shop that sells mainly only cards. Some party goods and little gifty key-rings and the like, but, mainly cards.)

At the back of the store I found a small area with remnants of the Valentines Day items - a couple of mugs with hearts on them, cuddly Valentines bears, hand-cuffs (I'm serious, toy ones though), but, no cards.

OK, so there were a few (very few) blank cards (and I was going to write something myself anyway and not rely on the typical shop-text), but they were not particularly attractive. Besides, I wanted something that at least held some notion of "love" in the picture - not a lonesome chair, or a squiggled sketch of a bullterrier.

Eventually, knowing that I can be as blind as a bat when searching a store, I asked the assistant. She looked at me as if she did not know the word "Love". I was wondering if I needed to go into an explanation, but somehow I didn't think that that would be efficient, or fruitful. I rather lamely asked about cards saying "I love you" and the "colour red" and I ventured into the word "hearts", but still, her face was as blank as those cards I mentioned above.

So, the Valentines wares get shelved in the back. (When they disappear altogether, I don't know.) It seems people simply don't buy "love-cards" - well, certainly not from this shop - out of 14th February season.

Sure, a card isn't a reflection of everything, but, to what extent is love (our appreciation of it, or recognition of it and our display of it) actually shelved in our world today?

An Interview with Tom Volkar from Delightful Work

Juliet du Preez — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:12:23 GMT

I am sure that many of you are familiar with Life and Career Coach, Tom Volkar, author at Delightful Work. His articles and ideas certainly have assisted me in my self-growth, as I'm sure they have supported others. Tom is generous with his time and knowledge, not only on his blog where he also gives commenters further suggestions, but also through open phone classes that he leads periodically. However, Tom's enthusiasm for personal development extends beyond this, into his work as a coach. Tom's passion is to help others find freedom and happiness.

It is wonderful to have him here today, sharing some of his insights and providing inspiration.
Welcome, Tom.

Tom: Hi Juliet, it's a pleasure to be here.

Juliet: Your theme for this year is "Prosperity through Authenticity".
Can you elaborate on what this means to you and what led you to this theme?

Tom: My work is all about inspiring the leap to the freedom of self-employment because the employed just don't enjoy the same autonomy. I deeply believe in honouring our authentic uniqueness. It's extremely challenging to find a job where we are totally free to express who we are. I've talked with hundreds of folks and surveyed hundreds more about what keeps them from this freedom. The number one reason is fear around the lack of earning enough money.

Yet the only true route to right livelihood is authentic expression, thus my focus on "Prosperity through Authenticity". Prosperity is reached most readily by simply doing what we can do now. Being authentic focuses your entire being to do what you can in the way that only you can.

Juliet: You have been coaching for ten years. What is the most important thing that you have learned from this career?

Tom: Everyone is always more ready and equipped to create the life they want, than they think they are. The supportive and encouraging environment of coaching, provides a launching pad that allows clients to see their glorious capacity for greatness.

Juliet: What are some of the areas that you find are most challenging for people going the self-employed route?

Tom: Getting the spouse on board is most challenging when one partner fears the loss of income that an entrepreneurial effort temporarily brings. I've been specializing lately coaching the bolder spouse on how to gain support and encouragement from the more cautious partner.

The other big challenge is the illusionary need many would be entrepreneurs have to know all the details before acting. They mistakenly think that when the time is right or when they know "how to do" something then they will act. But the lack of "how-to" or right timing is not what stops them from acting. It's the lack of committed "want-to" that really stops them.

Let me tell you a story about Bob. We coached for three months and he danced all around this issue while he gradually came to grips with his courage. But it took him being laid off to really find the guts to make his move. Once he'd already lost his job there was nothing left to fear. Then the coaching successfully moved him into self-employment because the illusion of security smacked him right in the face.

Juliet: You frequently offer complimentary group coaching experiences by phone. This medium may deter some potential clients. How do you experience telephonic coaching? Do you think that it hampers, enhances or has no bearing on the process for your clients?

Tom: I coach by phone for a number of reasons. 1). I have an international practice so it's a necessity for at least half my clients. 2). We're all busy these days and it's more convenient for everyone to schedule phone sessions. 3). Many clients enjoy the anonymity that the phone provides; they actually find it more confidential than face-to-face. 4). The most important reason is my intuition is much sharper when I'm free to listen without visual distractions. My intuitive hunches often lead to major client epiphanies that we would not have arrived at in person.

Juliet: Before moving on, I'd like to add that I have attended one of Tom's phone coaching sessions and was very impressed. I felt such a sense of connection that I could have been sitting in the room with him. Now that he mentions his intuition, I can understand why it was such a successful experience. He walked us through a very useful process for taking action and moving forward with one's life and desired path. What I found really beneficial is that the process included self-discovery and not only the identification of obstacles, but also the factors behind these obstacles. He gives simple, yet very effective exercises for diving into some of the deeper issues that need to be uncovered. I find his ideas inspiring. For example: I was very stuck at the time of the seminar, and one suggestion he has for times like this is:" If you don't know what to do, guess." That, for me, was relieving, because it's easy to do, and exciting, because it can be rather fun and creative. It got me going and I'll use it in the future. Another simple tool is, every time one berates oneself, to change "I can't do x" to "up until now, I haven't been able to do x." (Or some similar phrase and wording.)
I could go on with tips and insights, but, let's continue with our interview:

I find that many who are self-employed struggle with the marketing side - especially in terms of confidence levels, personality styles etc. Do you have any tips to share on how to approach this side of one's business?

Tom: Fear of marketing or of selling oneself usually comes from two false assumptions. 1). That receiving a "no thank you" from a prospect is personal rejection. It isn't. No is simply the other side of yes, like night is to day. Without no, yes would not be possible. 2). They have found their true calling. If you are truly in work that brings you alive, marketing simply becomes a natural by-product of your enthusiasm. If you have to force yourself to market, I would dig deeper and see if perhaps you have compromised on your dream by attempting less than you might be capable of. It's nearly impossible to be enthusiastic about a second or third place dream.

Juliet: You have been blogging now since late 2007. What has been your experience? How do you wish to take it further?

Tom: There are many benefits of blogging and the warmth of community building with fellow bloggers has been a pleasant surprise. The main benefit is that my writing has gotten better because of frequency. Also my coaching practice has grown to the point that some folks can't even recall if they found me first on my coaching website or my blog.

As for what the future holds I really don't know. I'm here for the wild ride like many of you and I'll make that decision as the opportunities arise. The growth of social media and accompanying interconnections has made us all pioneers but I'm guessing that our blogs will always serve us as the home base.

Juliet: I think that we all battle, at some stage in life, with motivation. What advice can you provide on sparking inspiration and the energy to focus and move forward?

Tom: Understanding what motivates us is one of my passions so my advice would be to get a coach and dig into your hesitation. It really depends on what you think is stopping you. The good news is that we make it all up. So what's really stopping you is simply a thought.

My thesaurus has 37 different synonyms for motivation. Here they are: action, actuation, angle, catalyst, desire, disposition, drive, encouragement, fire, get up and go, gimmick, goose, hunger, impetus, impulse, impulsion, incentive, incitation, incitement, inclination, inducement, inspiration, instigation, interest, kick, motive, persuasion, predetermination, predisposition, provocation, push, reason, right stuff, spur, stimulus, suggestion and wish. At times, I bet I've resorted to using tools, concepts or strategies that have used each of these to get a client moving. This link will take your readers to 24 different blog posts each with a different tool or strategy and this one has 11 different posts on getting unstuck. Happy reading!

Juliet: We all have blind spots. Are there any methods that one can use to uncover these?

Tom: Blind spots by nature, are illusive and cannot often be seen working solo. They require collaboration and conversation because our conscious mind (ego) is always on alert to keep us safe and unchanging. I have worked with clients using one very effective technique that I learned from Nathaniel Branden. It's called sentence stem completion and he uses the tool in a way that tricks the conscious mind into silence so that inner wisdom may emerge. That wisdom often leads to huge epiphanies around blind spot obstacles. A good place to start is Branden's book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.

Juliet: Your intent is to assist people pursue work life freedom and you believe that self-employment is the answer. Do you feel that the current economic state is an advantage for this purpose?

Tom: No more or less than anytime. We spend far too much time putting off what's good for us. Business success does not depend on good or bad economies. There are business successes and failures in both. Our advantage is our willingness to authentically express. That's the only edge that we all have in the marketplace. Operate the business that you were born to create and your struggles will be less.

Juliet: I could continue, but you have already given us much food for thought. Thank you for joining us.

Tom: It's my been my honour and I'm more than willing to answer your reader's questions particularly around making the leap to the freedom of self-employment, as well as questions about life and business coaching.

Well, readers. I encourage you to head on over to Tom's site, Delightful Work and learn from his writings. Also, for inspired action, sign-up for his free 5-day e-mail Project Blastoff. What I further recommend is joining Tom's next phone coaching experience on Wednesday April 15: Creating the Life & Business You Most Want - A Bold Process for Authoring Your Own Life Now!

Perhaps you have some questions for Tom. Ask away in the comments below.