Life's a Pie

Man oh man....

2017-01-03T23:28:00.001+11:00

Men....yes us men...yeah you and you and even you...come gather around, let's form a circle, let's have a chat. No no we will keep it short and simple...yeah I just wanted to say - for the love of Humanity will you please stop molesting women! Okay okay before everyone one of "us" gets offended yeah I realise we all aren't Neanderthals and go out harassing women but geez there's enough of us doing it and we need to shut this shit down! I mean it's 2017 and women all around the world are still feeling unsafe and our best response (by our I mean the ones who don't go harassing and molesting women) is #NotAllMen. Okay seriously what in the world is that even trying to achieve apart from saying "oh well I don't do it so it's not my problem..." well buddy it is our problem....I mean we are the problem.....yes even the ones who are civilised and cultured because we are not actively clamping this uncouth filthy behaviour down as fast as any idiot shouts "hey babe" to a woman minding her own business walking down the street. I read someone tweet that blaming all men for the actions of a few was like reverse sexism. Say what? Now I will say this out once and it should make it clear....reverse sexism is just like reverse racism IT DOES NOT EXIST! It's not a thing...no you may keep repeating it till pigs start flying but even then it will not be a genuine thing.

Oh and while we are at it, let's get our heads out of the 16th century and not use the "but she was dressed this way or that way...." let's come to an understanding that yeah us guys like to impress women, they on the other hand like to live their lives....really not that hard now is it.

Men, compadres, amigos, comrades, buddies, weird people heck even bigoted fellas....it's 2017 and while we are hell bent on destroying the planet with all our other hate can we give the women folk a break...like they have had to deal this shit for a few centuries now am sure a bit of a breather for let's say a century may not be that bad....I mean we do have so many other things to be mean about. I might even throw in let the women run the world for a few years to see what they come up with, I mean we have kinda sorta surely screwed it up for all this time what's a few years of relinquishing power going to do....are we not the stronger something.

All in all...let's stop being an asshole and get our acts together. Let's make the women proud of us for a change. Also anyone who does the whole #NotAllMen need to be told to shut the hell up!

Thank the Lord 2016 is over (almost)

2016-12-24T15:30:00.001+11:00

The year was 2016 and the world was full of shit.....yep it's been that sort of year where switching on the movie made you depressed and anxiety was a just a norm. It was the year Kanye did a Brittany and in hindsight the bald Ms. Spears seemed way more normal. The world however can now say "Oops we did it again...." by supporting decisions based more on hate than common sense. We also finally shaked off the cover of pretending to have any sort of originality and rebooted reboots and tormenting everyone by reminding them that their favourite movie was actually pretty bad if you saw it again today.

Yes we have never been fortunate to live in a world so bright that....ooh wait that's still the missing ozone later and no no no global warming is a myth coz it's snowing in Sahara you all....warming shmarming..bleh! We finally have people in power almost all around the world who will now put an end to this whole climate change......discussion because screw you science!

Yes 2016 was a year we will all remember....till we get to December 2017 and then remember 2016 wasn't that bad just like the previous governments around the world unless you live in a dictatorship run country coz then it's just Groundhog Day for you buddy and we are all gaining closer to your feelings as time passes by.

Until 2017....have a Happy Holiday season and if you do happen to shave off your head remember someone else will outdo you in due time! 🙃

Random Ramblings

2016-01-29T11:23:00.002+11:00

So its almost the end of January and the point where we all start our conversations with...."Where did this month go??"...with that expressionless look on our faces ensuring that the other person gets the hint that it is but just a rhetoric question and you do not in any situation want a further discussion on it. Yes, the first month of the year is almost over and by now so should your obsession with your resolutions, if you have still stuck to it full credit to you and remember if you can carry it past March you can rave about it on all the social media platforms but till then please refrain.
If you haven't been following what's happening in the world or some parts of it well you may learn a thing or two in the next five minutes, any longer and you need to enroll in those speed reading courses, any less and you haven't given a damn about what I wrote and are wondering why you even click on the link.
So firstly no I won't be giving out what's wrong with this world and the celebrity deaths, you can read about that on google, I just talk about weird little things and that's where I will stick to with this. Now that, that is over.....over the last few days twitter went into a bit of entertaining frenzy when a rapper named B.o.B had a little bit of a realization and channeled into the 15th century notion (or it could have been before or after...I don't do that good with anything before the last 35 years) that the earth is flat and how we have been hoodwinked into believing that it isn't. This out of this world notion was picked up by none other than the very own Pluto hating astro-celeb Neil DeGrasse Tyson (naah he's pretty cool though) and after a bit of back and forth we ended up with a couple of rap songs and that was that.....the good news is that unlike the middle ages or before (again you can google stuff) this time no one was tortured and killed for holding different views.
While all this happened, Kanye did something strange, had a twitter beef with Wiz Khalifa....actually listed 17 points or more of what needs to happen and when, all normal things considering Kanye is involved. The Oscar nominations were announced and the theme for this year was the same as the policy that Australia had between the 50s to the early 70s in terms of its immigration. Here's to Leonardo winning at least this time.
There was a snow storm in NYC which could not be termed a record breaking storm because it fell short of an inch, talk about snow storm teases. The lamb advertisement for this year's Australia Day was pretty hilarious and pissed off the vegans and vegetarians who really give these ads way more attention than the rest of Australia who watches it laughs and goes and gets a steak or fried chicken. The automobile ads are still shit as ever, if you haven't noticed, these are one of my pet peeves.

And that friends was the month of January. If the rest of the year goes the same way, we might as well call it the ground hog year. Until next time...keep smiling. :)

Ho Ho H......Hopey New Year

2015-12-31T05:58:00.001+11:00

Its that time of the year again, the time when you are still squeamish at the sight of food, the time when that piece of chocolate that once looked tempting now makes you gag, that time when the post festivity tummy just keeps telling you to stop and have a look at yourself....in the mirror preferably.

Its that time of the year when you start telling things to yourself....no I am not talking about the voices in the head...that is very normal and happens all round the year. Now before you start the whole self-realization-y (yes I did use the z instead of the s because this new continent has ruined my English but fret not my Oxford linguists this is but just a slight aberration from the normal) thingy, please note that there is another day left to enjoy before the whole madness of making a list to enhance (I could have used the word "better" but screw you I just used the word aberration and I don't even know what that means but it sounds really fancy) yourself starts and you get lost in the motivational posters plastered all across the social media sites you frequently visit. You would have effectively blown away your first resolution that to limit your time on the social media sites because how else would you let your friends and random strangers know that you have resolutions for this new coming year! Where will you post these amazing motivational memes that you worked so hard to find to state "That the time spent with your close friends far outweigh that spent in front of the monitor".

If you did in fact go and look in the mirror you might want to join the gym, yes this is perhaps the best time to own/run/scam a gym and then you can close it around April by paying out those two annoying sign-ups who persist on coming out to work out inspite of the honeymoon period being over. This will also be a time when the vegetable stocks will be bullish (wait bull is the the good upward one and bear is the snoozey falling one right?) and we will all go on this Paleo/Clean Eating/Juicing/Hunter Gatherer stuff and after a week of eating non fried fast foods will hate themselves and everyone around them because if it was not for people why would I even want to look good? By the way liking more people will still not figure on this list because no one likes people anyways....all they do is complain and shout and yell and wallow. No liking people is not going to be on the list and deservedly so.

Now before you feel all dejected and dastardly.....I swear I did not just buy a dictionary and these words are just coming through my head by itself....don't lose hope, for hope is what makes the world go round...yes hope and money because I am not even remotely going to challenge Liza Minnelli on this. So here's hoping that in the New Year we set out and achieve what we want (terms and conditions apply), that we do start to like people and cut down on the hate; that we do strive to be healthy and fit but do it for ourselves than to show it to others, that we do love the things that are important to us and ensure we get them. That this new year will have (profanity alert) has a lot more of "fuck yeahs!" and a lot less of "fuck this!" and that common sense prevails over the rabid hatred.

I hope you all have had a great holiday season and have a great year coming ahead and keep smiling. :)

P.S: I do know what aberration means but then that could be an aberration in itself.

The Day of the "Man"

2015-11-21T04:16:00.003+11:00

So I just found out that, we have an International Day of the Man. Oh yeah baby, just so we didn't feel like we were being left behind, we went and got ourselves a whole day to celebrate our gender. Finally a day where we can celebrate being what we are.....Men! A day where we tell the world that we have had enough of all these discrimination we face day in and day out just because we have a XY chromosome. Discrimination such as......errrr.....gimme a minute.......how we can't play video games without being harassed or how throwing the garbage is somehow our responsibility or how no one appreciates all that catcalling in the streets. Does anyone even realise how much effort, courage and creativity it takes to scream at random women walking down the street minding their own business.
We finally have a day where we can rejoice spending that little extra cash we earn without having to be reminded that we earn more than that other gender. We can celebrate in the fact that the meninist or mennist or however that is spelt, have been a discriminated section who just wanted to show a girl who macho they were/are by bullying them into being loved.
How we can......ermmm.....Okay I am out of ideas of what else can be celebrated and I belong to the XY chromosome crew. So ladies, if you can just appreciate us for one day that would be great.

By the way I don't know if it is just coincidence or if the women were up to this or because its like we love spending way too much time there but the day that we celebrate being a man also happens to be "World Toilet Day", the latter actually has a bigger purpose though. I "shit" you not!

A cup of controversy.......

2015-11-13T12:26:00.002+11:00

So a few days ago, my spidey senses (super power does not actually exist and is overstated here) started to tingle, I knew there was some sort of ridiculous commotion going on but what was it this time? So I log on to twitter, my most trusted source of public rants and on occasions the news, please note that the news it more credible than whatever you would find on Fox news unless of course you are on the Fox news account but if you are you're probably an insane lunatic anyways. Twitter then directed me critical information that the latest controversy was but because of a cup....and not just any cup but it was the cup. NO we are not talking about the chalice so keep those Dan Brown books back on the shelves. No the source of the controversy was Starbucks and not because of their distasteful coffee or the fact that you can never get your name right on the cup....even if you spell it out for them....and your name only consists of four letters. No the culprit here was a red cup....a red cup which had no design on it whatsoever. A cup so plain that some of the public started to forget that Christmas was but on its way. Oh Starbucks how could you do this, for we the people can put up with the inconsistent taste of the black water you throw our way.....we can take our wrong spelled names...to the point where I at times don't know if there was a real Arthur who's order has been coming my way. What was I talking about.....oh yes, how could you give us a cup where there is no hint of celebration, and then use the colour red....the official colour of Satan in all his/her glory. The comments found online were varied from hilarious to downright dumb with a Presidential candidate actually throwing his opinion on the very subject and ending up in the downright dumb pile. There will be no points given for guessing the names. Also I am not going to be stating any of those comments here because reading some of them actually dropped my IQ levels a few notch, I suspect if I went looking for it again I might reach that time space continuum (I totally googled the time space continuum bit and apparently its space-time or whatever) and go back to being a neanderthal.

Anyways so the next time you go over to a Starbucks to order that Peppermint Mocha (I have not been paid by Starbucks to write this but all generous donations are welcomes), when they ask for your name....just say your name is "Christmas". If they for some reason get it right then my friend you have won. Now if you excuse me I need to go rant about how I missed watching the latest episode of the Big Bang Theory because of that wretched red cup.

The Wandering Mind

2015-11-02T10:25:00.002+11:00

So I woke up this morning at 5:30 and that was partly due to Daylight Savings kicking in and ruining my already volatile sleeping habit but then at some point during the point where I was trying to go back to sleep and contemplating things, as you do when you wake up at these weird hours, and my mind wandered off to a series of things happening on social media. I have tried to keep my time on Facebook at the minimum these days because if it is not inundated with game requests, there's always someone feeling mighty ticked off about something or the other and while it actually does not bother me much, I have started to notice that there seems to be a lot of polarization going on which I try and ignore because as most mother's almost all across the world have taught their children at one point or the other that if you cannot say a good thing about someone, do not say anything (I am guilty of breaking this rule only when it gets to the right wing idiots, stupid extremist bigots and false nationalists who have done nothing good for their nations...and there I go again but I do believe that exception is valid).
Now I do realise it is the internet and there is no stopping anyone and for most parts it is a free world where people have free speech. The first time that notion hit you was when you first saw the comments section of any website. Yes that is when you knew when given an opportunity some section of the human race will bear their inner most animal out and use the choicest words ever. Heck, I have seen two random strangers fighting on a YouTube video over something inane and it basically was a refresher course in swearing.
Any how the way things stand today or the way it seems it does, is either you stand with one section or automatically get associated with the other, there isn't that little space where you are just in your own corner judging everyone for being so judgmental...you just aren't give that choice.
So what is my point here, well my point is that whatever happens, don't take things for granted even if it means breaking that polite etiquette mum taught us but the most important point is that Daylight Saving still is irrelevant and all its good for is messing up your body clock and making the next 6 months of your evenings a depressing mess and that if you do wake up at 5:30 am, probably do some breathing exercise to go back to sleep rather than think about random things.

Guess who's back...back again

2015-10-19T07:09:00.002+11:00

Yes yes yes...it is I and I am back to pen a few more thoughts after a massive hiatus. It really has been quite some time but then a lot of things have been happening that made things chaotic to take out and ramble about stuff online. I moved countries and decided it was apt to go right to the other side of the world where day becomes night night becomes day, the weather follows weird norms like being hot in July and cold in December and all that.

Anyways I am back and this time I am going to try and be a little more consistent till that thing called life takes over again and throws the spanner in the works, but for now lets be positive.

So what have I missed giving my two cents on in the last one year and some......a lot really....we have had a lot of screw ups by the elected governments around the world most of them making us realise we are as dumb as......we as dumb as the Politicians thought we would be to elect them. We have a display of how less we care about "humanity" on show throughout the world and then you hear some good stories and that hope that possibility of things turning good still remains.

I did miss writing on a few things that happened and just jotting down my take of it, like when that douche of a creature who raised the prices of a medicine from $6 to something ridiculous and then was trying to be smug about being good at business....well hopefully karma gets him sooner in life and he realises how much of a burden he is to mankind.

Any how be tuned in for there is going to be things coming up.....

Stay happy and keep smiling :)

140 Character Dilemma

2014-08-05T18:44:00.000+10:00

Hello Hello! Yes, I am back from my hiatus and maybe gone again, but while we are here....I thought I would type some words in and get to waste not only my time, but if you have clicked on the link and got here and are reading this, yours as well.

I have to admit, that when you have the option to describe the weirdity (yes that is not a real word and neither is most of the words in Game of Thrones, so stop correcting this in your head) of the world in 140 characters, who would read what in the world of Twitter would seem like a big novel. But hey...where's the satisfaction? No that is an actual question, everyone passes it off like its rhetoric.

So how did I resist writing about the man who remodeled his face like the Ken doll, or worse like Bieber or how people are now getting liposuction surgeries for their dogs, yep their dogs, or how men in monkey costumes were hired to scare away "monkeys" near the Indian parliament, or that Australia scrapped its Carbon Tax, or kids lighting themselves on fire in what is called a "Fire Challenge". You get where I am going with this right? There's just too many stupidity going on around the world and too few characters to write it in and thus I am here. I am here so I can tell you all that whatever you do today or tomorrow or even a year from now is not going to be as stupid as the next person who will beat you to it. Wow, that was intense, I am sorry, and this apology is probably more sincere than United Airlines insincere apology, missed that just type in those four words in Google and you will have learnt something new today and also appreciate my apology.

In other news, I really have run out of characters and have used my word limit for the next 45 days, so while I ponder over that, take this opportunity as a cue to hit that "x" on the top right side of your browser and clear your history too as all your metadata will be stored to look into your online activity very soon.....or it may have already begun...who knows. Until next time....keep smiling! :)

P.S: Why have I not mentioned Facebook, coz they most probably are offline, has happened three times in the last 4 months.

P.P.S: Maybe only two but who was counting....or on it?!

P.P.P.S: I hate post scripts!

Mad Men and Cars Adverts

2013-10-07T22:06:00.000+11:00

There was once a time I actually thought I would get into the world of advertisements, be that creative individual who brought products to life. Before you jump to conclusions and start going "must be a wanna be Don Draper", I would like to add that Mad Men was not made then and it was not for glamor. Turns out I am more functional than creative and looking at the current scene of advertisement that we currently are subjected to makes me glad I didn't go that so assumed "creative" lane.

It was not long ago that you saw commercials both TV and print and chances was you would be entertained, amused and had a feel good factor after watching it. Yeah sure there were those annoying ads which had a voice screaming at you and the balloons shaped people asking you to come down and get the bargain of your life, yes there were even some with men wearing skirts selling flowers and the annoying jingles selling carpets and curtains. Yes, they were still ads that made you cringe but then all of a sudden, you started watching short clips which made you, the consumer, feel like an idiot, it was like all the Ad men really did start thinking of themselves as Don Draper and took everyone including the consumer of the piece they were creating for granted. Some how in the whole realm of things the majority of these ad men seem to have landed up doing jigs for the automobile industry and maybe someone needs to tell the executives in these companies that they are investing their money creating commercials which are putting people off their cars. I have been asking the one question that no one ever seems to answer for me - Does getting a Kia automatically make a guy an asshole who starts to insult the girl he picks up for his first date? Or that car which you miss more than your family when you are stuck on a spaceship in outer space (can I say the way that dude acts, I think it was more of an insult to the spaceship program where ever that was than the actual audience). Or does getting a car of a certain brand , which in this case, is not even yours make you deny its a car but an Alfa Romeo......last I checked lady even an Alfa Romeo had 4 wheels, an engine and a steering wheel and did the same a bloody car does. Then most recently came another gem, which questioned if you in fact were a "yes" man and said yes to your boss, your wife, your work and how about saying No and buying a car....yeah coz in the dramatic financial market, a car is thing to help you with everything considering it depreciates almost 30% as it hits the road from the showroom.

All in all, if you are considering to buy a product and especially if that product happens to be car, don't rely on TV advertisement to sell the best option, it really does seem that the used car salesmen have become wannabe Don Drapers and we are now being subjected to dodgy sales everywhere we look.

Until next time, don't fall prey and keep smiling. :)

Hello There......

2013-07-12T20:27:00.001+10:00

So its been quite some time since I have last updated this space. Yes, I have become busy with that thing called life and in the scheme of all things irrelevant, some things that matter get forgotten. The very few, and I mean very few of the people who actually read what I write have sent me a nudge saying why I had not posted anything new. Well to them I say "Thank You" and the rest who just forgot me, well no hard feelings coz I didn't really remember you either.

So what did we miss while we were on a sabbatical? Oh yes, the end of the world was a dud affair and the only claim to fame for the Mayans is still the chocolate, yes the Mayans were one of the first to bring us the tasty treats (there were also the Aztecs, but Mel Gibson chose the Mayans for Apocalypto and well bad luck Aztecs) so all is forgiven.

There were quite a few things that happened which may not have directly affected us but always leave a mark on us all and no I am not talking about me having to move my apartment although that was one of the things that shook some of us....mainly me...OK only me. I had to move from my ocean view from the 25th floor to an ocean view from the 10th floor in a totally different building. Although the last three false fire alarms in the last 6 weeks has made me feel good about this little shift of floors.

The other things to happen is now I kind of know how twitter works, or so I try to tell myself having been on it for over a year now and it basically is..........you know expressing yourself briefly...very briefly....140 characters to be precise. I could make the excuse of it distracting me from writing but then it would be just that...an excuse. Sometimes, it always good to take a break and come back fresh apart from it being some what of a habit of mine here.

But now I am back I will stay...at least for a couple of months before that thing called life takes over. I don't know about you all, but I have missed you. Until next time, keep smiling. :)

Where is the Love?

2012-09-15T19:27:00.003+10:00

OK not much has changed since I had last written stuff, the time is still ticking, December 2012 is still approaching (not that I care but it seems to rile a few people so why not do it and enjoy the show), Harry is still making news with his costumes or the lack of it this time followed by his sister-in-law being snapped by the French paparazzi who really need stop referring telling the world that they are "Journalists" coz hey every monkey behind a SLR camera is then a photographer (and yes I do not own one of them..as yet), the mother nature throwing up surprises and the general unrest which seems to plague us continuously.
So the other day I was asked the question or well the discussion veered in the following direction -

Person A : "So Asif, being a Muslim, what do you think about all the violence caused by these protest your people are causing the world over...they even killed people in Libya."

So now all of a sudden I have become a spokesperson for about say 1.6 billion of the world's population roughly in that instant where anything I say will be judged on for not only would this reflect my inclination to jump to support "my" people who if I really tally up and my maths ain't the best but I would put it to know about .01% of that number I threw up there somewhere. So anyways I went something like this -

Asif : "Well being a Muslim, I condemn the violence (cause I do and was raised up being taught you don't hurt anyone let alone bring harm to them) but being an avid cinema watcher, documentaries, I can really say that more than being anti-Islamic what that film or if we may even call it that, is nothing but a torture to the human race and these people who are going around being uncivil may just have been victims and prefer going to Guantanamo and being water boarded than be shown whatever it was that was actually produced there."

Now before you turn your judgement in on me and go that violence is not something to joke about, you need to realise a few things and these you need to take in without prejudice, a clear head and calmly -
1. These people who are going violent do not even constituent to the 1% of the total population of "us" Muslims.
2. Most of us, with all our beliefs and what not DO NOT condone violence in any manner or situation but who likes to listen to us as we do not make breaking news, mainly as we remain calm while we go about explaining why we are not a terrorist to deaf ears.
3. We sorta, kinda, maybe did say this but were left unheard when we went "Stop meddling in other people's country and affairs." The whole Gaddafi killing shenanigan seems like mistake in hindsight now with that the whole country taking things for granted. A bit of our own undoing is it not.

Which then leads me to the point - has anyone even completely watched this movie in question because I tried to catch the trailer just to know what it was that riled "us" to the point of going and rioting and I could not go through the complete a minute something long video which apart from its hate inciting message was a complete insult on the medium of film making with frigid actors, bad visuals, dialogue writing which even a three year old could do a better work on and a concept which was meant to cause the very thing it eventually did, create tension, disharmony and violence. It also has two different voices coming from the same person which sort of goes to the whole concept of possessions but this would be crediting a bit of smartness to this production crew which it obviously lacked.

This whole matter is obviously not gone to rest and it does not matter what one person says or does, the whole concept of labelling us as violent is not going to go away soon and while we sit here and cop that abuse for what a small portion of our community does, the fact is that as long as Religion mixes with Politics we will never see calm and peace and that is how it lies.

Also the next time you ask such questions, I may just be tempted to emulate Harry's act from Vegas which would probably only get me arrested and not famous. If we could vote on this (oxymoron) I would totally vote him in to be the next in line to the throne, the world needs an entertaining King at the moment to save....the....errr...humanity...probably not that but something for sure. Until next time, keep smiling! :)

God's Particle Creates Mass....Dispels the Mermaid Theory

2012-07-04T21:41:00.003+10:00

So its has been some time since I have last updated this space but today has been a day full of events and one cannot help but jot down a few words. There has been ground breaking news where in one corner of the world, a group of lab coats almost soiled their pants when they discovered a new particle which kinda sorta, maybe, we really hope it does, resemble the characteristics of the much elusive Higgs-Boson particle also known as the God's particle. The legend has it that this discovery would uncover that mystery of the origin of mass and understand how the universe works. Now I have no idea about the later part but one thing I can tell you is that the origin of mass can pretty much be attributed to deep fried delicacies especially if you add sugar to it, the mass created from these foods are substantial and the evidence is pretty noticeable too.

So as the world of the scientists take the time off and celebrate, I would have said party yet am not sure how those lot do it as my only insight to this group has been the actors on The Big Bang Theory and they sure as hell do not give a wild impression on their partying style.

So as the lab junkies go crazy there was however another news that came across to the shores of the land down under this morning and it has moved the floor beneath the most of us, it has been such a shocking revelation that the US government agency itself had to come and make this announcement - Mermaids are not real. Yes, you read that right, mermaids, those half fish, hot hotties that swam around the oceans around the world are in fact just a figment of our imagination and we have been tricked by a very cruel joke. Something which started with Santa not being real (that obviously is as fake a story coz where else would all those presents come from?) to zombies not existing, something that had to be officially announced also after someone high on bath salts went around trying to bite off people's faces, who had a shocked look after sighting a mad naked man running around with bubble effervescing presumably from his mouth (there is no recorded fact of that last bit but am sure the bath salts would have that reaction once it started mixing with the liquids within).

So while we had a ground breaking discovery which most of us have no clue of, in terms of its effect and importance, we have had years of illusion also shattered by a government agency which deemed it was necessary to let its citizen know in case someone actually started to believe it. While I take some time to digest this fact I am just dreading if there may be any more announcements by these government agencies to discredit the existence of Iron Man and Spider Man and if the world would be safe anymore.

Parallel Universe Vs. Present Plight

2012-05-17T19:38:00.001+10:00

Its been long overdue and if you happen to be following me on Facebook and Twitter....I would firstly like to say a big Thank You for not only suffering me on those channels but also having the courage to come and read my blabber more on this platform, and secondly point out my latest obsession on Parallel Universe. Now, if you are confused about or want to know what parallel universe is, this is definitely not the place where you will find that information. So the poor people who Google'd parallel universe and skipped 70 pages of results to land here are going to be slightly disappointed and well for them I suggest a quick course on "Google for Idiots". So the parallel universe.....in short its the universe which exists where everything you screw up here goes smoothly there, where there are no Monday blues and everyday is a weekend. Where the sun shines and things go as they should.....as they were supposed to go - Perfectly! Yes, it is that fantasy world you wish that existed yet know that all its ever going to be is that thought in your head. So, why am I going on about this you ask.....well for one I can and secondly I have to get over this obsession and so this is where I get rid of all things.....watch that step.
Now lets just account on some of the things which we know would and would not happen in the parallel universe. In the parallel universe the weekends would definitely last longer and Mondays would be the fun day not the mourn day. Your wishes would be granted faster than Aladdin could rub the magic lamp to prompt the Genie. The Genie in the parallel universe would still be as cool.....you can't mess with him coz like it or not you'll never ever get a friend like him. There would be no waiting for hours to receive a reply to a simple text and a "Hey! How are you?" would mean and be taken as "Hey! How are you?". Where life wouldn't be so complicated to the point where your mind just wants to shut down and kill you and where happiness is actually something widespread. Where you can eat any amount of chocolate and sweets without a care in the world and dentists would only exists in fairy tales. Where you wouldn't have to sell your soul to make some cash which ultimately goes back to the entity you sold the soul to.
So this is the point where I am brought back to reality with the whole "But Asif...what would be the point of it all if everything was hunky dory...we would not appreciate it if we had everything....blaah blaah blaah blaah blaah". Seriously in the parallel universe people who say that would be kicked up their backside for being too realistic, for its only a realm of thoughts in our heads and if we can't think of all the positive things without bringing in the exceptions then what's the point of having a parallel universe at all.
So to bring a bit of your parallel universe into this one....do keep smiling! :)

How Stupid is Stupid?

2012-05-08T22:18:00.000+10:00

Now none of us can ever say we haven't done anything stupid but lets just ask the question for its out there in the open anyways - How much stupidity does it actually take to make something stupid actually very stupid? I mean getting into a dare at the age of six where you ring some random neighbours door bell at midnight and run like a wild dog is chasing you is kinda stupid but fun. Jumping off a height and thinking you can make it to the ground without a scratch is going a bit further but less fun in hindsight. Getting drunk and trying to steal a penguin from a theme park on the other hand is plain old stupid and that is exactly what two British lads from tried to do and actually succeeded. Now, I have done pretty stupid things and will continue on doing them as time goes on, but the thought of stealing a penguin or any animal would never ever cross my mind.

Stupidity is a word that made its way into the English language in 1541, yes we have been officially being termed stupid for quite a few centuries now and have done ourselves no favour whatsoever as time has passed. In fact we may have lowered the standards even more with each century passing by and have come to the era where common sense is more of a privilege skill than an inbuilt functionality. I have never met anyone who hasn't ever tried to touch their tongue on the tip of a battery even though we have seen someone else try it and wince. The fact that reality shows now play such a big factor in our lives is all but a statement depicting our lack of intelligence - how can people making themselves look like idiots become celebrity is a thought that keeps me wondering where the human race is headed. The fact that these shows have insane followers who believe everything that happens on the show and would argue with you if you ever criticised it is what makes me believe that if the Aliens ever invaded our planet they would either -

a. Kill themselves for making such a long and labour-intensive trip to conquer a planet that is full of batter licking, penguin stealing, scripted reality shows watching people who would probably kill themselves if you gave them a good spiel about how it would help cure them of something made up on the fly.

b. Go back to their planet and kill the person who came up with the idea of them travelling all the way to planet earth which is inhabited by loonies who would pay to watch people knock themselves out and go circles in a car going at about 300kmph without a reason.

So the next time you see something stupid, hold up, pay attention, laugh at it, laugh at the person who is doing it and walk on for who knows while you are doing it there may be and the chances are pretty high that someone else would be looking at you laughing.

Till next keep doing stupid things and keep smiling! :)

The Insane Institution called Earth

2012-05-01T20:42:00.001+10:00

So the world has got crazier as the years have gone by. This thought has been troubling me since a couple of years and no it doesn't come out like this any given time in my head, no there is always a build up which brings me to this line that "Shit! The world has become a crazier place!". So why am I going on about this you may ask and that is a very valid question since you have made it all the way here to go through another 10 minutes of my verbal distress, and that is not just from me misplacing my verbs and using the adverbs incorrectly. No, I have very valid reasons to start scribbling this thought over digitally (I did previously did the old school method of writing it on a notepad and then reading it and then copying the whole thing here but then I have started to feel a bit ashamed of my abusing those trees that went into creating papers....a sign of growing up I guess....and a lot of other hope) as it affects us all and am sure there have been several instances where you have thought of the same thing but haven't said it out aloud just in case people start looking at you as that lunatic who shouts about the world coming to an end and I mean in the non-hollywood style. Naah man things have become insane, parents have gone soft on their kids, kids are manipulating their parents, companies are throwing random shit at us and we are lapping it up with open arms, we are more excited about reality shows and ignore documentaries that show how we are killing ourselves by killing the environment. We have companies throwing insane marketing campaigns at us like just recently I saw a promotion where Kleenex allows you to send 12 tissues to a friend with personalised messages, yeah you can get your shitty message written on tissues and gift it to a friend coz that the thing that any friend would like. Can you imagine how much advantage it gives the douchebags who break up over a text? They can now send a crappy message on a pack of tissues and think its alright, don't believe me....what n watch. Gone are the days when people got excited about buy 1 get 1 free stuff, no sir today its all about buy something get a totally random shit for free which in all probability you won't use and the only reason they are giving it away is because no one bought it in the first place yet we feel happy. We live in an isolated shelter where people are getting bullied online....yes online..go figure! We are living off prescribed medicines and take advice from magazine columns. Something goes slightly wrong in our lives and we let the whole world know yet have a problem making a phone call to a close friend or family to say hello. We have a fight with someone and you know its a big one when one goes on to unfriend/unfollow the other on a social networking site. There are kids aged 12 who are putting their relationship status as complicated on their facebook page....yeah kid you think its complicated at that age you have no clue what you have coming!

So yeah I think the world has gone all looney all of sudden or perhaps it really wasn't that sudden and I was busy with something else and all of sudden I have come to face this insanity and don't get me wrong I thrive on insane shit, the thoughts in my head...were it to be released out all at once, I would surely be taken to the institution but that's besides the point, I still think in comparison my craziness pales when I look at the kids of today and wonder where they are headed with the tantrums, the spoilt attitude and the protected sheltering of their parents. There is still hope though, and that is for me to lead the world.

Till next time.....keep smiling! :)

The Chiro, the X-Ray and the Wrongly Tied Gown

2012-04-16T21:15:00.000+10:00

A couple of weeks ago, in another out of the blue moment, aided with the campaign that my workplace was doing along with this chiropractic company, I decided to register to see a chiropractor. Now lets admit it I am growing a bit old and the fact that I twist and turn a few of my joints now and then had me thinking that why not get a check and see how the other joints along with my spine is doing. So, I turned up at the their office on the day of the appointment where after a few resistant exercise I was told that there "may be" a few knots spread around the base of my neck, lower back and the hip region and needed to get a full spinal x-ray before the actual assessment began. Now, the last time I remember getting an x-ray done was about 10 years back and that was for the hand and fingers none of which was broken and the whole process took all but 10 minutes. Taking this as a cue, I waltzed to the place where the radiologist very spiritedly told me that the full spinal x-ray consists of getting at least 7 shots taken starting from the neck all the way down to the hips and threw me one of the apron/gown thingies to wear, now I have been to the hospital a couple of times but what puzzles me is do these things go from the front back or do they go back to front? They are definitely not robes so they wouldn't be wrapped to the front but how can one wrap it backwards and ensure they are wrapped properly, anyhow I managed to wrap it around and then was asked to stand in front of an instrument with another instrument beaming light at me which in fact was dividing my body into different parts, something which kinda creeped me a bit. The other discerning aspect was being told to stay still, a thing that when instructed always makes me move a lot more than I usually do. Then came the final blow, I was asked to stand sideways for them to take the shot of the spine from the side I am assuming, but it finally dawned on me that, even though I have never ever made it there, this would be how criminals are photographed when they are sentenced (albeit I was missing the board with the number) and I then started to wonder if this chiropractor visit is worth it or is it just leading me on to things that I should stay away from.....like committing crime. For why would I have to experience flashing lights at me in different directions (no I definitely did not feel like a model in a blue gown, most likely tied up the wrong way). Now, before I decide to give up on this chiropractic experience I may end up going for at least one more visit to view these x-rays if not anything, and probably with a serious face and sombre expression ask the chiropractor "So tell me, what is wrong with me?" to which I shall receive the usual spiel of the knots in the muscles surrounding the spine which shall go away with the right exercise.

Why do I do these things? Just for the love of something different to do! :)

Voicemail - The Annoying Voice of Technology

2012-03-22T21:06:00.000+11:00

I was watching a movie from the 90s a couple of days back and noticed how the mobile phone in one scene resembled a brick and carrying one in a hand looked heavier than holding a pistol and wondered how far we have come in terms of mobile technology. There was a time when we had to use pay phones...(yeah remember them? you used coins to make phone calls....) to call someone when we were outside but then things changed, there was suddenly a mobile on everyone and we all became connected, the spiders had to suffer another setback after we started calling the internet web we entangled another mesh of networks and used their designs (good thing they can't sue the human race.....as yet) and made another web of communication and as time went on we progressed on this and got the "web" on the mobile phones and were suddenly hit with the smart phones. These phones did everything, helped make calls, text people, listen to music, browse the net, check mails, turned into a clock, an alarm clock, a personal organiser and now even has an assistant. I love all these functionality except, yes there is always an exception to everything, the world came up with the word "but" for a reason and that was whatever we do or happens, there will always be something which is going to piss us off, its in our nature. So keeping in check with the norm (a feat in itself in my case if you know me) I will say that I have a problem with the smart phones and no its not the network, that does not irk me but what does is that silly feature called "Voicemail". Yes, I had never liked the concept of message-banks on the land-line and when it turned into voicemail on the mobile platform it remained my pet peeve. I do not see any productive use of listening to a message which:

a. is usually left with a tone that is either rushed up as if you only have 30 seconds left to live and the information

you give out will solve your murder mystery or is mumbled across leading to the next point

b. is soo incomprehensible that you wonder if a 2 year old was talking in the phone

c. has nothing but a person breathing through the phone, kind of like someone trying to stalk you...just that hello

your number shows up and if I have you on my contact list so does your name = FAIL

e. there is silence and not like the one of the lambs........

The other thing you realise is that not only are you left disappointed going through retrieving these messages, the service provider actually charges you to access these lame messages adding up to the cost of making those "dropped" calls that the network issues very conveniently address. In a world where every person who has a mobile phone is efficient enough to use the SMS functionality why do we still stick with this utter rubbish function which the majority of public hate. I mean I have never heard someone get excited and go "Wow!! I have got a voicemail!!!", not one and anyone you ask always goes "I HATE IT!! Send me a freakin text instead!!".

So the next time you hit my recorded message, please don't go on what I am saying there, all I mean is "I really don't care about if you leave a message or not, just send me a text and I will reply, if I already haven't after looking at the missed call." Until next time, keep smiling! :)

Early to Bed Early to Rise........keeps you out of mindless shit!

2012-03-07T18:13:00.000+11:00

There is an old saying that nothing good ever happens late at night or wait was it nothing good ever happens after midnight. Well its an old saying and so pinpointing the exact hour of the lateness of the night can be lost in the era but the fact remains that if you want to do anything you should probably do it by 10 pm and after that just don't bother. Now, as everyone I learn a lot of these things by making the mistake of committing the mistake and then learning and then forgetting I had already come across that learning and re-learning it all over again. Yeah when man must have made fire it wouldn't have been burn and learn, it probably was burn and learn and burn more and learn...well pretty much the same thing that it stings worse if not dealt with quickly. So why the sudden preaching of going to bed early from a person who is a self confessed late night owl and over the years gone has for some reason got the symptoms of insomnia. Well it so happens that the weekend gone by I made the mistake of calling up home late at night (2 am to be precise) and during the conversation use a few words (no not bad ones) which were not very distinguished and could have insulted the said parties (and no they were not to my family members) and in the next 24 hours all hell had broken loose. There had been suggestions that I was turning arrogant and that I should grow up and be mature and responsible, something which I have no clue as to why it is thrown at me for I am usually good at being mature and responsible and living on my own for the last 10 years have not really done anything that can be labelled a "crisis" or even a "catastrophe", so it amuses me when I am told that I need to grow up coming from my parents, sisters, friends or the ones that got away (left me due to my childish behaviour apparently). So, why is it that people get too serious, if someone who's awake at 2 am which he/she shouldn't be and talking on the phone which again should be a no-no, and hold the words said at that time in a way that it means a decision has been taken? Anything said after midnight should be not be taken at face value unless or until a disclaimer has been issued saying that the person has taken an oath to say the truth, nothing but the truth and if that the words uttered then can be used in the court of law or any argument or debate going forward, only and only if the disclaimer comes first followed by the statement otherwise all is void. Actually that seems like an idea that should be passed through the parliament and made into a law so then no one can ever get into trouble over something that happened late at night. The amount of stupid on the spur of the moment drunk marriages in Vegas and else where would be solved without being a legal nightmare, why I use that example I have no idea, its not like I am remotely interested in doing anything of the sort (marriage being another reason why I get told to grow up and be mature and responsible....a theory which looking at a number of people can be proved to be a myth). So the next time you are up late and up to no good, look at the time and if it is past midnight remember the shoe thing only happens in fairy tales and in real life you will just have a mess to clean up. Until next time, keep smiling and sleep early! :)

Taming the Train of Thoughts

2012-02-26T17:53:00.001+11:00

So, as usual, there has been a zillion things going through my head most of which has no head or tail, now before you run you imaginations wild let me be clear that it is only thoughts I am talking about and there are no parasitic bodies swimming through my head, not that I am aware of anyways.

So along with all these mindless thoughts, that keep you awake, you come across things that make you wonder even more, for instance has anyone wondered how that 0.1% of germ never gets killed by any of the cleaning products and yet no one has still come up with the 100% formula. OK so you may think I am being pedantic so lets move on to another example, why do people over-complicate things which then makes it harder for them to think and then all hell breaks loose, where am I going with this? Read on, and it shall be clear. So what is it that makes us complicate a simple such as a simple text and then make it to be a one wrong word and your dead game? Why does a text have to mean a million things when it simply is a "Whatcha doin" one? Now, last I checked the answer to that question was usually a "nothing much" or if you wanted to be more specific you answered with that and not "hmmmm....why does he/she want to do know what I am doing? Does he/she like me or is this just to check if I have a social life or not?". The fact that it took you two days to answer that makes it awkward for the person sending the message and now he/she is confused to as what happened and if the whole message was taken out of context (which it in fact was and how) and if it should be something which should ever be repeated. There are many of us who just like to be friendly and connect with people and in times like these it is sadly taken in a wrong way and you doubt if being friendly is such a good thing after all. Then comes the notion that if someone replies to your text or for that matter even mail after so and so time you shall not reply immediately for that would make you seem desperate........desperate for what exactly is my question. The last I checked if I wanted to date someone, I would ask them out on a date and most likely physically present or at least on the phone and not on text. Has the whole realm of dating changed and I am not privy to it or am I the reading things wrong. In this age of social networking where a man was asked to apologise daily for a month to his estranged wife for posting comments about her on his Facebook profile or go to jail suggests that not only are we taking our problems to the public even our justice system is being ridiculed. The fact that Willi Wonka was termed eccentric is coming back to haunt us and prove that there is that bit of eccentricity in all of us. How that was relevant to my argument does not concern you. So, are we losing the plot of forming relationships even the basic ones of friendship and causing us more anxiety than is needed. Are we in this age to instant everything from food to messaging gone so impatient that we can't wait for things to happen? That we are so consumed with ourselves that we can't see anything as just being nice and simple and that it means just what it says nothing more nothing less?

So the questions becomes endless and the answer far and few, yet one thing I am sure of, is that whatever the answers may be the foundation of any relationship is built on trust and loyalty and if I have offered you a hand in friendship these two things would have come along with it, test it at any given time. Till the next time, keep smiling. :)

Back to the Future.....Advice

2012-02-20T22:39:00.000+11:00

The internet is full of entertainment, full of mystery, full of things which you come across and it makes you wonder. Yeah, this is going to be a change from my usual ramblings, where I drift off on a tangent....wait that might still happen, I can't guarantee that, but this might make more sense to most of us than my other pieces do, which may or may not entertain you if you really come here for the ramblings.
So any how, a few weeks ago I stumbled upon a podcast posted on twitter (which is awesome if you want to keep blabbering without anyone judging you...its like screaming out in the dark with no fear of who's listening) and I usually don't listen to podcasts which are not music related but somehow the topic interested me, it piqued my curiosity and it was refreshingly fresh to listen to it. The topic was letters and I really wanted to hear out what the content was for letters have always been something which have intrigued me, the whole emotions when you receive it to the reading of it to reading it once more is just something which we have lost over the years, and then there it was, the most intriguing part of the podcast, where you write to a younger you and give some advice.

So it got me thinking (yes this is my space and mostly everything is about me!), why are blue M&Ms not that common and I don't really like the yellow ones, wait that is not what we were talking about....why did the chicken cross the road? No, I am just playing with you, what it really got me thinking was what would I write to the 20 year old me, what would my advice to the younger me be? I have always believed that every thing we do is an experience, something which makes us stronger, shapes our character and hopefully in the process makes us a bit wiser (going by this blog am sure that is doubtful). So then, what would I say.....it would definitely be that keep doing what you are doing, that don't give up on anything, your work, your life, your relationships, that there are going to be ups and downs but giving up should not be an option. I would tell my younger self that things change, people come and people go and that holding on to thoughts might not be such a good idea but hey I think that is something the younger me has to learn by experience. I would tell him not to stop believing in hope, even though the current me gets sceptical about a lot of things, that somehow things will fall in place. I am bit unsure of miracles happening now, but I might add it just to keep the hope up, I mean the kid has to look forward to things. The last thing I would tell the younger me is that don't be afraid to live life, that go out and do whatever it is that you feel like as life has to be experienced at its fullest.

The blog I am talking about is written by Reena Mumbai and has many interesting entries and can be found at http://www.reena.me/. The mentioned podcast http://www.reena.me/2012/01/mumbai-talkies-podcast-episode-1.html.

I know this is a slight deviation from my regular ramblings but it was an idea that kept resounding in my head to not write about. I do promise to get back to my random ramblings soon. In the meantime, please do share your views on what you would write to your younger self and what you feel about the whole thing. Till next time....keep smiling! :)

The stare down and what's wrong with it

2012-02-19T01:03:00.000+11:00

So men will be men and this was just shown by the First Gentlemen, the husband of the Finnish President who was caught by Princess Mary looking down her cleavage. Yes, the "First Gentlemen" is actually his title and yet by nature he was caught on camera looking at things which are deemed very un-gentlemanly! So, does that mean that the line "All men are bastards" that women keep saying is true? Well, it isn't but the way we display things, and some of it on the camera, you can't help but accept it that the women folks might have a point. So, what is it about staring at that area of women that gets most of the men in trouble.....I mean really Princess Mary?? I would have been a bit proud if it was someone hotter such as Miranda Kerr or even Kate Upton, but Mary? Seriously? Things must have been getting bad for that dude to stoop so low. The fact that it beat the new about the lady falling down the stairs while texting caught on national television is another thing which talks about how the whole pervert thing rules, and that inspite of being caught on camera that dude had the balls to act as if nothing had happened. The smug look on his face while pretending to look away was just the thing that women needed to tell all the men everywhere around the world that they were the ones to be blamed as it was the first "Gentlemen" doing it on prime time TV and his action defined that of everyone of us. Now, its not like no one has tried doing what he did, but there is a place and a way of doing something like that and staring outright with a face like that is out of bound and downright being a pervert even in our books. Thou shalt not be caught staring and if thy does then he shalt face the wrath so says the code. I really wonder how awkward the conversation would have become after the incident not only for the said people involved but also the Finnish President, am sure the talks would have "finished" by then and the whole Danish contingent would be looking to get the hell out of Finland, for if not for Nokia what else would they be able to provide them, not butter to say the least or chocolates. Whilst the women had a go at every male being for being the pervert that they probably are.....the men had to take solace that at least being thrown into being important does not affect the pervertedness and that even if you are granted titles such being the "First Gentleman" you are in fact still the brother from the hood who can't resist looking down the blouse and while trying to avoid the situation have a smug face that probably needs to be slapped to get that expression off it. So gentlemen next time if you do intend to stare make sure you are not on national television and ensure that you don't have some lame ass title as First Gentleman coz you are infact just a punk ass senior citizen who is going to be called a pervert for the rest of your existence. And ladies, if Princess Mary is going to be the victim of such absurdity, its time you all start feeling good about yourselves, there is in fact a God and you do indeed have a chance.

The Grinch who stole Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T20:49:00.002+11:00

Ok, so after I posted my last entry there was an eerie silence, now don't get me wrong I am not implying that my posts create a buzz abuzz but still I get a few comments from random methods of communication letting me know that I had done a decent job or that I should go back to school and learn how to write again or the odd are you serious you wrote that and lets not forget the...what are you smoking these days and why have.....well you get the drift. So when there was a bit of silence it had me wondering if people really appreciated it that much that I had somehow left them awe-stricken dumbfounded state where words could not explain how brilliant the piece was.....and then I remembered I had written it and check the visitors graph thingy page which helps me track the 5 people who visit this page.....a few months ago there was about 50 hits on the page which had me a little awe-stricken and dumbfounded till I was informed how this friend of mine had to jump back in about 10 times to read one entry coz he/she (yes I will keep everyone guessing) read like they were in kindergarten (and then there was one...less visitor here). Anyhow I digress, as usual, so I checked and saw that there were quite a few hits so people had most likely out of sheer curiosity come to the blog (and then regretted it) and would have read a few lines if not the whole thing and then it happened, I got a mail from a friend asking me if I was fine and if being single was affecting me, a question that made me laugh for ages (no seriously it did) and then there was a whatsapp message telling me how they liked the article yet my humour seems to be depreciating like the polar caps and I should probably go find my mojo (sic)....which obviously reminded me of Austin Powers and I had another round of laughter session. I also got a couple of genuine compliments (again it was written ones and I being the nice person seem to take people on their word...which reminded me of Bee Gees and their version of the song "words" and made me smile) and now after all this I really have no idea what I started with. Wait...yeah, that's right.....so one of the feedback I got and this was actually in person, was about how the whole thing is way out of proportion (not my words) and that he (lets face it you would have expected it to be a he anyways) totally agrees that its all about commercialisation and has nothing to do with love and then gave me a spiel on the whole love being shallow and all the while I could just imagine that person being a Grinch....and wondered if the Grinch ever got bored of stealing Christmas and started hijacking other occasions. What would happen if Grinch stole valentine's day? I guess all the flowers would somehow just disappear on the day, the restaurants close due to unforeseen reasons, the chocolates....ok lets not mess with the chocolates. What would happen to the cheesiness of the situations that are played out on the day, the spoiling your loved one would have to happen on another day (kinda works out as why would you limit it to one day if you really do love them and want to spoil them) and what else.....it's been sometime since I have done this as is evident and regret it I do not even once. So what do you think would happen if the Grinch ever stole valentine's day and what would you do to get it back? Share your thoughts.....and you can be expressive, no one is judging. :)

V-Day Voodoo

2012-02-10T19:15:00.001+11:00

So it's that time of the year where people go all mushy and weird and pretend to bring on their rom-game on. Apparently also the time where the break-ups go flying through the roof coz the stress of keeping up with the trend just doesn't hold up for some. Yes, its that time of the year that was meant to celebrate Saint Valentine but we now celebrate the love of commercialism in form of flowers, sweets, gifts and fancy dinners. Now, before you go ahead and group me with the cynical lot, may I add that I have no qualms with people celebrating love and contrary to my single status I do believe that love should be celebrated but only when there is love. What started as a day to celebrate love has now become a whole week, with people coming up with days like propose day, chocolate day, teddy bear day, hug day, kiss day leading to the the final day itself (I could have missed something but that is because twitter is my sources for this particular thing). So now Hallmark has not one but quite a few days to cash in on the emotions of people who when have an extra dollar are happy to spend that dollar and a half just to prove that they can out do that next person. Gone are the days when a mix-tape and a box of chocolates would make be an ideal gift.....no apparently these days its all about that chic perfume or the designer accessories or that little piece of expensive cloth (no one really knows what purpose it serves) from Hermes. That followed by a nice dinner at a fancy place which you probably need to book at least a month in advance or spend the evening and probably the next few months listening to how so and so took so and so to the so and so place. If only this was the case, nowadays things have changed and even the guys expect the shabangg on the day, they want some fancy gift and love showered on them and behave in a way that Chuck Norris would and should definitely get upset and pulverise half the universe. Actually now I am beginning to wonder if Chuck Norris celebrate Valentine's Day or if Saint Valentine actually celebrated Chuck Norris day when he walked the earth? Some questions, I reckon, are better left unanswered. So ladies and gents, my two cent advice to you is, enjoy the day, celebrate the love you have, don't go overboard with the fancy stuff coz true love is being true to yourself.
Keep Smiling :)

Play it like its Angry Birds

2012-01-12T20:54:00.000+11:00

Angry Birds, the two words which brings in the chill and the urge to relapse to the most addictive game invented for the phone after snakes. The fact that a theme park was opened up last year based on the concept indicates how viral it went and what impact it had on the general masses all round the world. The money just keep rolling in and the addicts keep growing even now and we live in a world where the trends pass over faster than you could say twitter. So what is it about the game that has got people so hooked in, it is nothing but a game which uses violence and is a "me" against "them" theme where me are the birds (who are pretty angry) and them are the pigs (who probably are just pigs) and you just need to smash 'em pigs by launching yourself into them like kamikaze pilots. So what is it about the kamikaze birds and the evil grinning pigs that has made people into zombies playing on it day and night, draining their batteries quicker than the electric companies can say coal? Well its simple really, people like the whole me against them and smashing things. If we had the opportunity to do that in the real world with actual people (without serious consequences) I bet it would be money spinner. I mean just imagine launching yourself and head butting that annoying fella talking to the girl you like or launching yourself and kicking that girl who's been trying to come on to your boyfriend or smashing the person who thinks they know everything and annoy you with information you would not want to know even if your life depended on it coz it was boring as shit or those uninvited guest who not only show up but overstay their visit yet would not help you in anything and complain that they are not being looked after. Yeah, tell me you have never got the urge to smash someone in a situation like that with no repercussion and I shall anoint you the next Gandhi or something to that effect, if someone doesn't smash you for being that annoying that is. Let's face it, with the ever growing stress and the ever decreasing patience nowadays, we need to let off some steam and the game gives us that outlet, boxing would be a better option but you would actually have to get your backside off the couch/chair and go to a gym for that and that requires energy which you don't have and can't waste so you stick with the game. There may be several reasons to keep playing the game but as long as it keep you happy that's what counts and also it keeps you away from punching people in real life and getting arrested for assault so that makes it a win-win situation. So play away, stay happy and keep smiling! :)