A Ship of Wind and Tears!

Aladdin Genie

2014-10-03T22:15:00.003+05:30

I never thought anybody would even remember me and here I saw a message. A message which brings smile to my face. A message which I'll always remember. A message which will always endure.

Hope you have a great life and happiness around you. All the best.

Love Bunny.

Meaningless.

2014-06-24T19:29:00.002+05:30

I want to tell you everything.

His leaving was a matter of time

He found a girl, divine.

The boy with half a smile

Didn't understand.

Then the one whom I gave my heart

He discarded

The fourth sung and danced around

And left as well.

And then I lost count

Now I don't tell...

Numbers became meaningless.

Childhood Innocence!

2014-06-09T00:04:00.001+05:30

Dancing around the yard in a pretty little white dress; years before I realized that I am a mess; before I even started to head face first into disaster. How much I wish I could go back and be her again, playing so innocently, dancing in the middle of the rain, living her life, and not in vain. But that part of me is gone, and now the memories begin to fade; the child that was once me begins to drift away before my eyes; and now I have to let her go, let her go and fade away.

Shutting my eyes, pretending that this part of me hasn’t crumbled away and died. Shutting my eyes, pretending she was me again, ignoring the whispers the world gives to me, to forget these childhood dreams, “they only wanna make you bleed in the end…” but we all can’t just sit here and pretend, that everything in this world is fine, when everyone has pain that continues to resides; Innocence can never last forever; intertwined with death so perfectly together, but this secret part of me, the part of me that secretly bleeds when no one is around, wants to keep these childhood dreams, the little girl who I used to be… the childhood innocence that we all lost…

Memories and dust is all I can ever see in this empty room; drowning inside myself and my open wounds; remembering those days, when there never really was such as thing as heartbreak and pain; running around for hours, never fading away, but now the world seems so dark; people always trying to reach out and break your perfect innocent heart; slowly unwinding and falling apart. And don’t you tell me that you don’t remember; those cold, lonely December and Jan, those days when we run around for hours, laying in a field of broken flowers; because you knew it was true, all I needed back then was you.. But now its beginning to flicker and die, the candle fading right before my very eyes…

Shutting my eyes, pretending that this part of me hasn’t crumbled away and died. Shutting my eyes, pretending she was me again, ignoring the whispers the world gives to me, to forget these childhood dreams, “they only wanna make you bleed in the end…” but we all can’t just sit here and pretend, that everything in this world is fine, when everyone has pain that continues to resides; Innocence can never last forever; intertwined with death so perfectly together, but this secret part of me, the part of me that secretly bleeds when no one is around, wants to keep these childhood dreams, the little girl who I used to be… the childhood innocence that we all lost…

Look through the eyes of a child again; pretend that this world isn’t living and indulging themselves in vain; smile and dance in the rain; go back to that place where you were once free, those days when you were still with me; but now all I seem to do, is sit here and bleed, remembering these broken memories, laying on top of bleeding and suicidal dreams, whatever happened to you and me; pretending that we were meant to be, holding hands, our fingers intertwined with each other; now forever and childhood seems so long ago, and now I must forget and let go now… (Forget and let go now… before the world hurts me...)

Shutting my eyes, pretending that this part of me hasn’t crumbled away and died. Shutting my eyes, pretending she was me again, ignoring the whispers the world gives to me, to forget these childhood dreams, “they only wanna make you bleed in the end…” but we all can’t just sit here and pretend, that everything in this world is fine, when everyone has pain that resides; Innocence can never last forever; intertwined with death so perfectly together, but this secret part of me, the part of me that secretly bleeds when no one is around, wants to keep these childhood dreams, the little girl who I used to be… the childhood innocence that we all lost…

- Bunny!

To a certain someone:

2014-03-25T11:51:00.000+05:30

I know your eyes will never see this. That is why I write. The nights is dark and cold. My heart swells with love for my sweet guy with galaxy eyes. But still your eyes make me sad. I know I’ll never know so many things. I know that it is better not to know some. But still… I hope one day you’ll find the joy you deserve in this life. I know I am just one more friend for you. Maybe I’m closer to your heart, maybe I’m one of the best friends you have. Maybe I am. Maybe not. But I believe you when you tell me that I’m close to your heart. I just want to say that you are one of the best friends I’ve had and ever will have. You don’t get close to know what a great friend you can be. I know your life has not been easy. No life ever will be easy, but yours I know is harder than most. Maybe that’s why we grow up so fast.

And yes, there are so many things you know that I know, but then again, I know some that you don’t. Many of them I’ll not be the one to teach, but I do hope you will learn them. And I just want to say that my friendship to you is a life long one. You will always be my friend. And I’ll always be there to help you. And I guess that in long words I’m just trying to tell you (even if you won’t read this) that I’m thankful I met you. I’m thankful for your sweetness. And I do hope that someday I’ll be able to look into your eyes and find more than that shade of sadness and too many tears that have been cried. I do hope you find happiness. Here I’ll be to see you glow

- Bunny!

She who smiles!

2014-02-24T23:57:00.001+05:30

There is plain void and something is slucking her in. The tears doesn't stop and the smile doesn't leaves her face. She is still strong inside and could make anyone kneel before her. The shine in her eyes and the confidence in her auro makes everyone go hush.

They thought she had seen it all. She would always say, "Life throws curveballs at you everyday. How you deal with it says a lot about what you're made of. If you get hit, don't lie down in pain and expect someone to come pick you up. Get back on your feet and smack the next ball out of the park.Cause the world is mean. They need you when they are low but wouldn't be there for you in your shallow times."

If only anyone knew how empty she is inside!

- Bunny!

Happy Married Life.

2014-01-26T21:41:00.002+05:30

As she hears the final words her world torn aparts. She always wanted him to be happy but what is happening to her now? May be she loves him more than she thought she would.

She looked at those beautiful bunch of red roses. So beautiful, she wished those were for her. She then looked at him tearfully. Her one teardrop on his finger now and as her heartbeat was to reconfirm her love. He flicked it away smiling.... am busy now, she is here!

She couldn't live under the shade all her life.
She needed the sun, she needed the rain.
Her desire for these silent feathers were overshadowed by the bird of questions.

As she stood there, watching the one who had pledged his undying love to her in the arms of another woman, she felt a sharp pain. Emotions raged a silent war within her, extracting tears from her eyes and as they rolled down her cheeks, she felt her life slipping away from her and she died a thousand deaths in an instant. She whispered .... Happy Married Life while he walked away...forever!

She is sure she will be okay soon, she has to... but not today.

- Bunny.

Serpent Sky

2014-01-14T16:29:00.000+05:30

Night is black. She wears a velvet gown and a diamond as a moon. The night is silky, smooth, cold and bright. She whispers slow names and decadent wishes to the Earth below. The night is a serpent trapped in her own shadows. She turns around, once or twice in a while. She seeks to surprise her own tail. But she keeps on failing, her only treasure, a blur of stars and vanished hope. She yearns to swim beneath the waves, but all she finds are dead stars and fallen idols of ancient gods. Some times she tries to kill herself. She hangs her head low and red, caught in a noose of starlight and ravenous black holes. But she is a serpent biting her own tail. She cannot scape her fate, her eternal dwelling in the shadows, her eternal velvet darkness. She cannot die, she cannot be killed. For light is ephemeral, light is mayhem, light burns. But darkness and the night are forever quiet, forever there. No one will ever scape her, not even her self. She thinks the sun is lucky, because he will surly die.

Sometimes she tries to hide. She fools us with her diamond necklace and all her bizarre gems. So we stop thinking about her, while we are mesmerized by the insignificant stones that shine with burning light. But there are nights like this, when she unfolds her giant cloak over the Earth, and all shadows melt in a single one, and all hearts beat faster in fear. Music sounds louder, bodies sweat harder when they crash against one another in the dance floor, in the crowded streets, in the empty allies, in the parks, in the bedrooms. Serpents are born under her spell, serpents in our arms, in our heads, in our soil. She is the mother of us all. And we hide in our concrete and glass cubes. We penetrate and desecrate the flesh of another, we melt in pleasure under her never changing smile. We light bonfires, we burn the midnight oil, we make our cities a mirror of the desolated skies. We are so afraid when she is so dark and cold.

She keeps a silent eye over us, she is a serpent sky. We are all doomed to be devoured in her famished eternity. We are just mice, we are her eternal distraction. For she will never die. Darkness is after all, the only thing that has ever been present. Darkness was here before the Big Bang, before God, before there was an universal conscience that make us drift away from our sanity. Darkness will be here when we are all gone. She won the battle even before it started. We have just been too blind or too dumb to realize the truth.

But she knows it. And she doesn’t care about our insignificant hopes of a brighter future. She knows that everything dims after a while. And she does not care about us, what we think or what we do. Why should she? So we are the damned, we are the fools. Stop praying at night kids, stop pretending God will save you. She was here before every god and will be here after all of them. So go sell yourselves to whatever plastic and neon god you worship. Be a whore, be a god, she won’t mind. She will make you suffer no matter ... why?

And that’s why we love her so much.

- Dark Shadow!

Into the golden sky...

2014-01-14T12:10:00.001+05:30

Point me at the sky, let this love die
No more pain, no more tears, now
Lift me up, show me the sky
Into golden sun, into golden sun
Bathing in the haze, Bathing in the haze
Into golden sky, Into golden sky <3

Lying in thou Arms

2013-05-30T21:40:00.000+05:30

It is strange how you start thinking about a person who was a complete stranger till yesterday. Life is strange and we all keep on walking on this strange path of world, meeting strangers over and over.

It felt good, it felt human, it felt normal, it felt REAL for the first time. Flashback, you were deeply into a person who was your everything but you weren't so close to him as you became with - the stranger in this very short period of time. Each and every touch of the stranger felt like fire in your body. All the desires of the lady were getting fulfilled. It was perfection at its purest form. A magical date ending with a liplock. Roaming on an empty street, holding hand in hand. Caressing him while he lays on you. The touch of his fingers on your waist made you shiver. You totally moved into a new dimension when you were with him. Even a boring movie seemed interesting just cause his hands were holding you.

You suddenly starts liking him not for something good or bad or special in him. The likeness builds in for, "Who he is". Suddenly the world seems a better place. Everything is colorful around you. The pain and agony fades away. Are you falling in love again, my lady?

But what about the stranger, my love? Does he feels the same? Or you meant nothing for him?
It is better to be dishearten at once than to be in a one sided love forever. What hurts the more? Being dishearten or being in love with someone who doesn't loves you back?

Well, a big quest to resolve. I don't know where this strange path is going to take my lady. I will just pray for the happiness of both the souls.

Love

Amber Sky

2012-12-14T15:00:00.002+05:30

The last purple sky slowly fades, the last shadows slowly creep into grey. A gentle piano whispers in the silent reverie, just like the song of a Robin lost in the cold morning light. She gasps in her last moments of consciousness, her soft eyes slowly open, a kind smile is drawn in her face. She is tired, she has lost one too many battles, she has had one too many wounds, there is no hope for her. Her eyes find tranquility in the pure white light, no more anguish, no more pain, just eternal manna dew.

Her swords falls from her hand, her fingers climb to her heart, blood drips from her cuts, life flows away from her. Yet she keeps on shining, she keeps her light. Time seems to stop, life seems to stop, all frozen in a pure moment of sorrowful light. No, she does not want to return to the cold world where she will fade and disappear, no, she will be one with the light, she will be everything and be everywhere, she will be the light that shines above us all.

Life takes her last breath within her lungs. It is all over, her mortal life, her pains, her sorrows, her darkness. All that is left is an undying amber sky, a frozen moment of gold and light. She became an amber sky, she dances in the welkin at dusk, dressed in sunlight, humming over the deepest ocean, shining with all the light she ever carried in her heart. No, it is not easy to linger on this Earth, no, it is not easy to recall her face, her name, her kiss. But it is all I have left, my own amber sky.

Years after the accident I found a song by Doro Pesch. It took me over a year to actually be able to accept its meaning. Every sky deserves an anthem, a theme, a melody. All an amber sky can do, is shine. So, shine on Amber, shine on.

Was later that night when I got the news
I couldn't believe what was true

Heard somebody say that you drove that night
An ice cold road, your last ride

With tears in our eyes
We were standing, no one spoke
Now we gotta move on without you

But you'll live in our hearts
And your soul will live on too
And forever it's you shining on
And where you're going
And whatever you might do
Yeah forever it's you

Shining on, shining through
Shining through, shine on
We miss you

It was hard, so hard, so hard to let go
We're standing here, no one knows
The reason why that had to be your last ride
This ice cold road took your life

You live in our hearts
And your soul will live on too
And forever it's you shining on
And where you're going
And whatever you might do
Yeah forever it's you
Shining on, shining through
Forever it's you
Shining on, shining through

Shine on, shine on, shine on
We miss you, shine on through

I know I’ll find my very own sky, my own purple sky. But someday, maybe, I’ll find an amber sky.

- Dark Shadow!

It will be Alright!

2012-09-19T07:51:00.001+05:30

We are standing on top of the end of the world, and all I can see is your eyes. Let me tell you something, I don’t regret it. But come on, we can give it a try. There is no need to call for the rapture already. We can try again and maybe succeed. I won’t assure we will make it, but I promise we can try. Maybe we get something from trying and we can fly away. But if not, well, you don’t get something for nothing. So, at least we will get something. Maybe just a little bit of pride, maybe a life lesson, maybe a new hope. But we can always try again. And maybe we will have to change some things in the world we are living on, but we will always have Friday afternoon’s and we can always escape into the darkness of a theater or an empty night.

We are still standing on top of the world, and we have a lot of things to do and less time to do them. But we can breathe for five minutes and refuel our hearts and minds. Cause we know that two out of three ain’t bad, but we can still aim to all three. And that keeps us going. And we will make it somehow. Remember that a wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age. And we are still painfully young. And we still have the world at our feet. And we can keep it there for a while. So lets do what we need to do, and lets go conquer it. We can always find a way, we can always open a new door. And the night covers us with her gentle touch, and we know we can make it.

The end of the world is every night. But if we have to go now, lets go with a bang. Lets show the world what we are made of before we go. Lets have it all, lets kill it all, lets do it all. Everything louder than everything else. And if we can live that way, if we can live it our way, we will never waste a year of our lives. It is still Tuesday night somewhere in the world, and when we are together, everything will be alright.

- Dark Shadow!

The Waiting

2012-03-25T22:36:00.000+05:30

Sunday afternoon and the drapes fall with grace from my windowpane. I let in the sunshine, but it will not warm my blood. I freeze in blazing light, waiting for an embrace to keep my blood running. Sunday afternoon and a glass is broken somewhere in the corners of my mind. Light shatters with the force of a thousand weeping souls. Light paints my sky in beautiful shades of all colors to be seen. Light is mostly red, and violet for me. Sunday afternoon and the sun begins to sink in my deep ocean. Rays of red and gold pierce through my eyes in solitude, just waiting for sleep. The silver bells begin to chime and soon there will be none.

Sunday night and I’m still here. Winter’s breeze is yet to claim me, and I keep an image on my mind. I see a fairy’s child in veils wrapped, in veils dancing and milky white skin. In memories the stars sing to me their silent song. Sunday night and the cold is here. But I’m still caught in the sweet thought of a gal, and all that once worried me seems to be gone with the fires anew. Sunday night and the smell of dawn creeps into my brain. All the dark seems to float around her golden glow, her pure white light. Sunday night soon to be gone with the fires anew.

Monday morning and the streets are all gray. All the gray people walk to the gray buildings. Monday Morning and I find a rose so frail,so radiant, and beautiful. Monday morning and I think of your lips moist with Spring’s early dew. I think of your sweet eyes when you are sleeping and dreaming of this. Monday morning and my hair is caught in cobwebs left in imagination and dreams. Monday morning and I comb my hair again.

Monday afternoon and shadows seem to close. Sweet Siren’s song tempt me to sleep, but my hands must be kept awake for both our sakes. Monday afternoon and I play a few chords for you. Maybe a blues or a classic tune. Monday afternoon and the sun sinks in my windowpane and I draw your face in every flower I see. I see you when you fall asleep through the windows of my mind. Monday afternoon and night will be here anew. Soon I may see you again. Soon I may kiss you again. Monday afternoon and I am all honey combed dreams.

Monday night and dreams begin to sail away. A soft clock drinks away my seconds while I fake my own sleep. Monday night and I keep close the scent of you. Sweet company in the late ours left undreamed again. Monday night and you are an angel. You are always an angel. Monday night and my door falls down. Shall I kneel, and fix it? Guess I should to keep the cold away. I sometimes need you to warm me. Monday night and the hounds are set loose to play on my grounds. Sweet eyes adorned with iron jaws. Good children of mother moon that howl and sing with me when you are gone. Monday night and I dream of you if I can afford it.

Tuesday morning and I’m awake to see the sun rise. I keep an orchid in my heart, and it fills with purple light with every dusk and every dawn. Tuesday morning and I take a bath. I clean my eyes and my thought under the hot stream. I paint my smile with colors shared underneath a tree, and my hopes with rose and moon. Tuesday morning and I wear an ironed shirt. I whistle my doubts away as I walk down the usual path. I try to spot a nice orchid for you, but it insist on dancing on my garden, where it is so beautiful it breaks my heart to cut her. Tuesday morning and I can taste your perfume in the air.

Tuesday afternoon and I see you.

And all I waited for
And all I hoped for
And all I dreamed for

Seems so insignificant when the touch of you shakes the foundations of my heart.

- Dark Shadow!

Hate to Feel!

2012-03-08T22:22:00.000+05:30

Sleep, why bother? Red lights keep on burning and the bonfires have just begun. Sleep, why sleep? Why succumb to empty promises of joy, when joy dwells so far away. Why sleep, except to maybe forget the pain? But lets face it, pain will not go away. I look through my window and I see the area light burning. Seductive temptation waiting to devour a new prey tonight. Did I ever love you, oh! cruel murderer of mine? Or did we just pretend.. pretend so we could forget how alone we were? But did we ever forget? No, we got lost somewhere else, and I offer you my neck and you took it. And with glee and lust you drank my blood, and you watched me die, and that’s our story. I may presume you never cared for me, nor you pretended to do so. At least I can give you some credit for that.. you never faked anything. You always showed me how much you used me, how much you wanted to hurt me. And I always offered you my neck. All that there is left to ask is, why didn’t you kill me when you had the chance to do so?

But why bother on such stupid topics on a night like this. Shouldn’t we go out and dance? I should not worry with stories left behind, or with the occasional thought of the whereabouts of a particular guy like you. But it is all so quiet and cold and I don’t want to sleep tonight. Why do it? I have lost all meaning. Maybe there was never meaning behind it all, maybe it was all just an excuse, so I could play my little play for a while. It is dark outside. The moon hangs low and contemplates the wastelands of long lost dreams. So, what should I do before the curtain falls? Say that I love you, yes you my love, to the one I tell that I love you everyday? Well,I love you. And I hope you can find light and meaning. And I hope you never have to see some of the things I have seen, even if a little voice in my head says it could make you stronger. But I love you, and I cannot say I want to see you go through the deepest pits of hell. Or to taste the rotten flesh of the damned.

No… there is no point in going to sleep if I can’t hold you close. There is no point in going out tonight if I can’t see you. There is no meaning behind a night like this, but for you. And you so pale and beautiful, so alone but for me. And sometimes I feel you deserve more of my attention, and sometimes I feel I should know the answer to all your questions. But I don’t, I don’t even know the answers to my own questions. There is no time to cry, kid, so better move on. But I don’t want to cry either. I just want to slip into a sweet numbness amidst your arms and forget all the shit that I must chuck everyday.

The sun won’t be here soon, and there is no misery to make me company. Nor there is laughter. Why live on such a night? Maybe there is meaning after all, some confusing meaning behind it all. And maybe that’s why he never took my life. But why bother asking whys that will always be left unanswered, and every attempt will be emptier than the one before? Why choking on whys when all I need is a little because? Maybe one day the pendulum will swing down. Maybe…

Don’t know why I keep on writing. Maybe it stops me from thinking. Maybe it takes away the pain tonight. I’m in Sumerian haze… but there is no trail of the veil that has left me this way. Maybe it is just the silent sigh of death in love. Maybe it is all just the fucking universal conscience, maybe it is nothing, maybe I’m nuts, maybe I just want to kill half of the world and torture, burn, and maim the other half. I just sometimes hate to feel, I wish I couldn’t feel a all. But then, there will be no meaning at all and it all would be so pointless and stupid that I’ll just take my own life. But well, as my favorite guy once said “You gotta chuck a lot of shit in this life. Just be sure you love her. If you ever doubt, get the hell out of there.” And I’m sure I love her.. so I’ll stay.

Good night my love. There are certain demons that need to be faced, and since I wont do too much tonight, I guess I should do so. Here I left my kiss and wishes for you. Maybe I wont return, maybe they will kill me this time. But I can’t go on with this. I need to heal some internal wounds, cause internal wounds do bleed, they do hurt me. They do get infected and rot my soul. And I’m sorry to leave you this way. I’m sorry I can’t say a proper goodnight to you, cause I don’t know if I’ll be here in the morning. I’m sorry that I have not been strong enough to deal with it. I’m sorry if I ever hurt you. If I ever lied, I do apologize. But please be sure I never stopped loving you. And if I do die, don’t cry for me, just leave thirteen black roses under a tree and move on. Do that which still hurts me to do. Let go off the pain. Never suffer my love, never. There is no need to.

But in the spirit of good things to happen, see you in the morning my love. I love you. There are somethings that need to be done, and they can’t wait anymore. Need to face the wall and look beyond it. Need to kill the pain from the root. Please forgive me, I never meant to hurt you. I know this may be hard to your heart, but, don’t you take it so bad. It is just a thing I get sometimes. Sometimes I need to lose everything so I can do what I want to do.

Te Amo

- Dark Shadow!

Respire

2012-02-10T20:29:00.000+05:30

She sat down in front of him. All the mirror collection shattered and all was left was her. Her blackest eyes looked deeply into him. “Who are you?” She asked with dreamy voice. “I am the Zelig” he answered. “I am everyone, I am no one.” She looked down on him with sweetness and tenderness. “Once again life has left you alone in a twister or a storm. Alone in the dark as a child, lost from everyone, left without answers or meaning. Again lost in the depths of your own mind. You got lost and you don’t know how, yet once again.” He looked at her. You were radiant beauty from the days of yore. He sighed.

“Maybe I was catching butterflies or fireflies, maybe I stooped over the rainbow, maybe it was a bolt of lightning and snow. Maybe just for one second I forgot who I was,, and never bothered to check with myself.” That sometimes happens. But if you are not sure you will find yourself, at least be sure to have someone by your side to tell you. Cause we girls, well, we live in your head mostly. The real versions of us are lost in this world as well. And it can take time to reach out and find us. But I’m sure you can always return, you can always be back to be yourself. It is all question of finding your guiding star and your will to continue.

It is all a matter of time.

- Dark Shadow!

2012-01-26T11:58:00.001+05:30

There will be times when it gets hard. When you want to give up. At those times, one of you has to carry the love. It may be a week, it may be a month- sometimes it's years. But there is always someone there carrying that love along and ensuring you stay together. It switches back and forth between the two of you, but someone always does.

But here, I want it just to be me and I don't want you to remember me anymore. Forget me and live your life. Decision is taken and it can't be changed; I won't change it. This was a time for you to choose, for your test and for our life, at least for love's sake you would had been with me, no? You failed and so does our love has to fail.

We say a person who has been in pain knows what it is like and so he would never give anyone that pain but you gave all your pain to me. Thanks for that. Forever you will be in my heart and even after I die.

- Dark Shadow!

Teri Yaadein.....

2012-01-12T14:34:00.000+05:30

So, tell me kid, what’s the price of happiness? Maybe it is loneliness. Cause the years will pass us by, but we will live forever. Cause love is not about change, love is not about climbing down of a cloud, at least not for us. Love is lifting us higher and higher until we fall with grace, beauty, and death.

Cause life maybe all cats in the cradle, or maybe all a ring of fire. And maybe the only company you’ll ever need is yourself. And maybe you are not made to mate, maybe only the silver moon, maybe only you and the world. Or maybe you need to first discover the world and who you are, maybe you need time to mate yourself and me. Maybe you just need to go so so far away. Away from it all. Just go find cats in the cradle, just go and find your space. The world will be still here tomorrow, and if not, well, at least die with a smile and say you enjoyed the ride!

Even though I am mine, I am yours, you are mine, you and I are one, and we can take all over; I miss you for not being here. May be, you are like a bad habit for me, which is impossible to live without. It is ok to live in another reality. It is ok to be you. And you can change, and tomorrow go back to your old self. You are free. This world can’t control you. You are free. And yes, you can experiment, but don’t wait too long.

Tere Khayaalon Me,Khayaalon Me..Bus Tum,

Meri Nigaahon Me,Nigaahon Me..Bus Tum,

Waapas Aa Jaao.....

Mere Paas,Tum Sada,

Waapas Aa Jaao.....

- Dark Shadow!

Asturias

2012-01-02T14:20:00.001+05:30

It was a hot summer afternoon in Asturias when he first saw her. She was sitting in the bar of the hotel they were staying. She was there trying to find herself, while he was there trying to get lost from everybody. She kept writing in an old notebook, as the sun was buried in the horizon. He kept drinking as the moon was rising in the black sky. Maybe it was meant for them to meet that rainy afternoon, perhaps it was a cosmic coincidence, or maybe it was just a glimpse of hope that a cruel fate had given to them. The notebook fell at his feet, and as he rose to return it to her, their dark eyes met and froze. Their hands touched for a second, and the alien touch was so warm and kind that both of them felt electricity running through their veins.

Asturias was strangely silent that night as they walked through the crooked dark alleys. They spoke a lot for the first few hours, but then a comforting silence fell between the two of them. Finally their steps took them back to the hotel and the bar that had seen them write and drink away their afternoons. They held hands as they spoke a little more. They both knew they would end up in a bedroom, but they don’t have any rush to get there. After a few drinks they climbed slowly the stairs to her room. At the door, he looked her into her eyes and kissed her tenderly. It was in that kiss that she was able to find herself, she heard her own voice for the first time. It was in that kiss that he slipped away from reality and faded into her. Suddenly sex had no point at all. It was only that kiss that mattered. They looked into their ayes once again. The darkness that usually clouded them was lifted, and a quiet clarity embraced them.

Time was still frozen as they returned to the bar and sat by the fireplace. There was nothing to talk about. They just wanted do feel the other. The bizarre closeness made them feel good. She fell asleep by his side, resting her head in his shoulder. Time flew by and the sun find them again. They said their goodbyes and left to their rooms. They longed to see each other, but they walked away that night without even seeing each other. He left for Paris, while she headed for New York. Twenty years passed by since, when fate chose for them to return to Asturias. They recognized their faces right away. As if they had loved each other for a century, they kissed and surrendered to their arms. Twenty years suddenly meant nothing and their success and tragedies were suddenly erased. After twenty years they knew their night had come. Maybe there will be nothing tomorrow. But for tonight, tonight was their night.

- Dark Shadow!

About Love

2011-12-09T21:02:00.000+05:30

Sun sets in both red and gold. Life is wonderful sometimes, life is shit sometimes. No one ever got a perfect life. Isn’t sad? Now,what about strength? How do you obtain strength in life. All the strength I have came from tough situations and hard experiences. But it also came from thinking, from loving, from ambition and expectation. Guess I always wanted to be some sort of queen. And I won’t deny it can be hard to always stand your ground for what you believe in. But sometimes that’s all that has hope and meaning in life. That and the hunger for freedom.

I guess I’ll sit down and knit some wings for you. I hope you learn to fly.

I know I’d do anything for love, and I know I’m here for you. Good times, bad times I’m here. I can be human, I may be god, I believe I am the siren, and that I can take you to lands you’ve never seen before and help you heal your heart. I believe we are blessed. And I know I want to see you fly. So come and fly with me. Lets show the world that we are strong too. Lets show the world how amazing we are.

My dearest star, look up to the sky tonight and see the moon and see how much I love you.

I love you. Truly and deeply, I love you. I love you tenderly.

- Dark Shadow!

The Shadow

2011-11-29T20:39:00.001+05:30

Once I dreamt of a shadow so dark it clouded my eyes, and all there was, was a black shield. Once I disguised my eyes with a storm cloud. And I pretended not to care about the people at the edge of night. Once I pretended not to love. Cause love is indeed such an old fashioned word. But well, I’m an old fashion kind of gal. But you know… love it is about caring. It is about caring for others, as well as yourself. Love is about becoming a better person everyday. Love is about setting free, love is about building life long bonds that will never become chains or ropes to tie someone. Love is wings, love is wanting to see a smile in a face. love is about being there when someone needs you. And no matter if it is to laugh or cry, love means that you are not alone.

Maybe that’s why we all need love. Cause no one wants to feel alone. And life without love is utterly pointless. If you don’t love yourself, if you cannot care for someone when the night falls, if you don’t need to be hugged, if you don’t want to hug. Life is utterly pointless that way. Cause we all need to cry and laugh sometimes. And both of them are dreadfully painful to do when you are alone. Well, laughing is not painful, but it may be sad not to share such joy. but there is no point in crying alone. Never. And to whom are you gonna trust your tears? Be glad if there is people who love you, for they will be there to collect them and turn them into laughter.

And no… the world does not turn around love. But it should. At least for me. Cause I care, I may care too much, I know. But I do care, and I do try to draw a smile, and I’ll always be there. And I love you…

And I love you…

And my dearest star, look up to the sky tonight and see the moon and see how much I love you. And it is no Cats in the Cradle, or American Pie.. no it is not just another song. It is not Julia, or If I fall. It is not even All My loving. It is just the oldest song. It is just the most amazing and complicated words ever. It is just what we have always tried to understand, but never managed to. And it might be better this way. It is all about love. But about what else can it be.

- Dark Shadow!

A Sleepless Midnight Punkromance

2011-11-24T09:37:00.000+05:30

And the ghost of a sleepless night creeps into us. But this is no song for lovers. This is me and the mirror. This is me seeking for answers, this is me looking for the truth. And we have hurt, and we have bitten more than we could chew. And we must chuck a giant mountain of shit. But we must chuck it. And it is not easy, it is not easy to move on, it is not easy to fall, to get up and keep walking until you fall. And you need to be capable of getting back in your feet.

And I’m sorry for all the wounds, I’m sorry for all the pain, I know it hurts, but please understand my whole world came crushing down. And I just need to move on. This is not just a midnight punkromance… this is not simple heart moonlighting. This are the vampire punk rockers from hell, and all the monsters in the closet, and all the fears that live on in this world. And I don’t need Bruce Lee to face them. I just need myself. And I need my heart. My mothers are here, and they will always be. I know I do not appreciate the real one as much as I should, but in the depths of my heart, I love her. And my soul mother, well, she is there to advice me. As she has always been. And both of them allow me to make some mistakes and will never blame me for them (btw, both are same).

And both of them know we need to face pain in life, and they both know we need to move on. And friends and family are always there somehow. But I am mine, and I am the only one I’ll have for eternity. And if there is some Luna or anything like that, I know that things will come out alright. And life is a long song, and some verses might be blue. Some will be black.

And I know it is selfish, and I know I am mean. But I need to put my own happiness in a higher priority. But this life was not meant to suffer. There is enough suffering in a regular life to create more. And right now I’m afraid death is whispering a lullaby, but I need to wake up and face my life. I cannot hide or pretend, I am not happy. And I know where and when I have been happy. But the past is written, and it is gone, and all the beautiful moments and all the shit wont come back. They may repeat, but they are not the same. And the future is still too far away to fully know what is best. Some say it is better to safe yourself from all the pain. Some say you need to go and live your life and get the most of it. That pain will teach you, that life teaches you. But Robert Plant was right when he wrote “Stairway to Heaven”.

“Yes, there are two paths you can go by
But in the long run
Theres still time to change the road youre on.”

So I need to find in which road I want to walk.

- Dark Shadow!

I Know it's Over!

2011-11-16T12:45:00.000+05:30

“Cause sometimes love is not enough, and sometimes there is so much joy with someone else.” She was wearing red, he always loved the way she looks in red.

“That is true, funny thing it is how the pain begins to fade away.”

“It is a good thing, guess something are meant to find their end. And the wound in your heart needs to heal, to be cleaned and closed. Cause you’ve suffered enough, and enough is enough. I’m your mother, I know that.”

“Just my vampire mother, dear.”

“I know, but still. I’m older than you, I’m wiser than you. And right now I tell you, keep moving on. Let all wounds be healed, find your joy, find all your joys. Suffer if you must, but do not suffer more than you need to. Guess that should be the lesson of the year now gone. Look kiddo, it won’t be easy, life is seldom easy. But if you can find a drop of joy, drink it down to the last. No regrets.”

“We do not believe in regrets, mother. We just believe in us, in ourselves, in our lives, in our thoughts, in our whispers. Guess I’ll fight when I need to and I’ll laugh and smile everyday. But I know it is over. It is porcupine rain.”

“Point me at the sky, let this love die

Call my name now, call my soul, now
No more pain, no more tears
Lift me up, now; into golden sun, into golden sun
Bathing in the haze, Bathing in the haze
Into golden sky, Into golden sky

When was it ever a dream, When was it ever a dream
When was it ever, it’s over
When was it ever a dream
When was it ever a dream
Was it ever, it’s over;
This love is over

(Counterpoint)

I never thought that these dark clouds would pass over me
Now it’s all over

Point me at the sky, let this love die
No more pain, no more tears, now
Lift me up, show me the sky
Into golden sun, into golden sun
Bathing in the haze, Bathing in the haze

Into golden sky, Into golden sky

When was it ever a dream
When was it ever a dream
When was it ever, it’s over
When was it ever a dream
When was it ever a dream
When was it ever, it’s over
This love is over

(Counterpoint)

I never thought that these dark clouds would pass over me

Now it’s all over end”

“I guess that after all this time, I finally understand this song. Guess this is the result of a Heather night.”

“No, it is the result of the first Heather night. Or the first Luna night. Or the first Emilie night. It is the result of when you run to your fantasies to erase the pain. Porcupine rain my son, porcupine rain.”

- Dark Shadow!

The Sexuality of Bereavement

2011-10-24T10:37:00.001+05:30

And hast thou buried thy uttermost pain deep in the mischievous waters of sin, pleasure and joy? Has not guilt come to haunt you and your dreams? We are like gods of the sun my dear, you and I. Mostly you than I, dare I presume, yet we are both fully gods. A goddess of the sun, is not is a bit pretentious? At least arrogant to the end of it? But you are such, my dear. Arrogant, forever proud, forever strong, forever young. I’m the bloody earth, I am the flesh, the shell in which we both dwell. You are the ghost, it is me the sinner. Forever entwined as rose and thorn, forever departed as red petals and blood stained fangs. We are the rose, we are lust, we are sin. We are beauty, we are desire, we are deception, we are betrayal, we are the ones who feed from this world. Shadows and dreadful hours are yet to come my dear. It is not time to succumb to thine own theatre of tragedy. It is time to rise my dear.

"Art thou my truest love? Art thou a siren or an angel? I’m a child of the sun, just as you are", he keeps on asking.
What is it and what I am doing?

Still praying, but finding no prayer to say. Still wandering, still lost in the sea. For it is the sea where your heat belongs. Not in the warm seas with white sand beaches, but that perilous sea. The sea that is raving, raging, and deceitful. The sea that will haunt thee forever. That deep and cold sea of salty waves. A sea made for the tales of one thousand nights. The sea that feeds on blood, on fear, on you. That is what you are. You are the sailor, you are the sea. And if you really want to know, I am the ship, the ship built with wind and tears. I am the vessel, I am the sails, I am the wood and iron, I am the Sun. I am Dark Shadow, I am you, you are me. I am a serpent sky, I am September, I am the change of seasons, I am all seasons. I am autumn, I am winter. I am thy truest love, for I am yourself. And I know thee better than none, and I play with thee as I please, for it you who rule. As you take me out and play me to your friends, as a facade to this reality which you wish you could scape. For we do not belong here, we are meant somewhere else.

Kill me. No. We are one, one of us dies, so does the other. We were born in ashes, in ashes we will become. But not now. It is not the time to return to the blazing sun. No, not yet. Then kill me. Dare killing me and end the yearning, the universal conscience of us being nothing, nothing at all. But we are not nothing. We are gods of the Sun, and as long as we breathe, the Sun will shine for us. Not for them, but for us. When we die, there shall be no more children of the Sun. When we die, it will be the end. Closure without redemption, a dirge without a requiem. Just a flash of light, and then darkness. And velvet darkness they fear.

- Dark Shadow!

Within My Love (Exquisite Corpse)

2011-10-19T12:47:00.002+05:30

Sometimes we have to return to the same circumstances.
For a thousand mermaids came looking for the sun.
Memories are the spice of life, actions are the essence.
And then he understood the meaning behind it all.
Do you realize that every day we share is meaningful?
Maybe, but then again, all we know is that we can make it in the end.
Well, I love you. And I am grateful for the moments we have had.
Unbelievable, he said. All was clear, all was true; peace and love can last forever.
Who could have guessed that one button would bring that much joy?
I can always find the sun in your smile, I can always feel warmth in your smile.
Sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice all sacrifices.
And when I open up that door and see where we used to roam.
The magic of life is realizing that what doesn’t make sense somehow can be perfectly connected.
In silent whispers I call, for all I can say is I love you.
Oh darling, can you please stop talking about girls?

- Dark Shadow!

A Penguin In Wonderland.

2011-10-17T10:11:00.000+05:30

“Still trapped in wonderland?” She asked. Her voice was distant and shivering. “I am, my dear.” I replied. “Aren’t you afraid of the queen of hearts? Or of the white rabbit? Or the Mad Hatter or the March Hare?” “”Why should I be? They are just soft whispers of a glorious fairy tale. What count are the bodies, hearts, and minds of the ones who inhabit this wonderland. And I guess we will always be afraid of something or someone in this world. But as someone wiser said, “I’m not afraid of dying, I’m afraid of being alive and not being aware of it.” And all I can tell you is that I feel alive. I enjoy every second as the last. When I can live as if each day was the last and the first at the same time. It is hard to explain, but you know, somehow I know I should keep on trying.”

“May I ask why?”

“Because, even if I fail, being in wonderland is not climbing to find something, it is just walking, discovering, learning, enjoying, loving. You are not searching for a dream, you are in the dream. It is just like Alice. She was always in a dream. She never went on looking for something… she just allowed things to come.”

“So, you are Alice.”

“No, I am a Penguin”

- Dark Shadow!

What was that?

2011-10-16T13:58:00.000+05:30

For few things only a force works and you go on without thinking about the way you are moving on and where the path would lead you to, for there is that power which is taking you there and you are ready to risk anything for that.

Now when you turn back, can you answer yourself why the hell have you not been with the same spirit that time when you lost your precious thing? What was that which averted you to go there? Why did you didn’t bother about the darkness and kill your fear to move ahead? Why?

If there is one thing common that is you! Why the rest of the things with you and in you changes? Yes, the reason may be with time you get more confident and mature but hell fuck dude wasn’t that quite achievable?

God or Satan was and is always with you, if you believe in any. But something was missing what was that?

- Dark Shadow!