Life's Little Observations

Skip Walker's Response to the State of the Union Address

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Mon, 13 Feb 2006 18:55:00 -0500

Like you, Skip watched the State of the Union address last week. He decided to respond in a big way. Watch to hear what Skip has to say!

Click here to watch the video

USPS Delivers Poor Customer Service for the Holidays!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Mon, 19 Dec 2005 00:42:00 -0500

Yep, the USPS failed the customer service test when they delivered an arrogant message to me last week. Just when you think this quasi-public organization learned how to deal with the public, they treat their customers with like they are the only game in town. You would think the USPS would have learned a lesson about losing business to UPS, FedEx and email. Let's stamp out rude behavior by our postal service.

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Technical Troubles

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 01:19:00 -0500

Just as soon as I get the technical troubles straightened out, we'll get another post. Thanks everyone for your patience.

We're Comin' After Ya!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Tue, 11 Oct 2005 19:30:00 -0400

Pretty soon you'll need a doctor's note so you can earn those extra airline miles. You know how some people carry a card with them to restaurants to figure out how much to tip their waiters? Soon waiters are going to have a height/weight chart to tell their customers how many miles they can earn. Too short for your weight? Sorry, you can't earn full mileage.

Click here to watch the video

Steroids, Breakfast of Champions

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Wed, 10 Aug 2005 20:05:00 -0400

Congress wants all of the test records of Rafael Palmeiro's steroids test. Should they really be able to do that? Did congress forget about HIPPA? Pretty soon we'll be paying a Lincoln for a gallon of gas. How about gathering some of those records?

Click here to watch the video

Here's Your Employee Discounts!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 22:14:00 -0400

The new rage is for companies to offer “Employee Discounts” in order to improve revenues. While companies are in the mood to let us save a little bit of money, I have a few suggestions that might just help out! Do you want to know who should be offering the next “employee discounts?”

Click here to watch the video

I Need A Crash Course in Grocery Shopping

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 23:41:00 -0400

I can't shop now and I couldn't shop then. When I got my driver's license my mom sent me to the store for a head of lettuce. I came home with a cabbage. I think food stores close their doors when they see me coming.

Click here to watch the video

The Supreme Court Plays Real Life Monopoly With Your Property

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Mon, 27 Jun 2005 13:00:00 -0400

Look out! It appears that your economic security isn't quite as important as the economic security of builders and developers. That's what the United States Supreme Court told us in a ruling this week. Now your property can be taken and given to people so they can build office complexes. Don't they know that if the little guy doesn't have anything, the big guy won't either? I guess taxing citizens to raise money didn't work fast enough, let's just take their property, too!

Click here to watch the video

Michael Jackson's Puzzling Future

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 19:13:00 -0400

It's been quite a while for the jurors in the Michael Jackson case. Are they trying to earn as much money as possible by prolonging their deliberations? Or are they honing their skills to become professional jurors? Could they possibly earn credits towards a law school degree by listing their experience on their resume? Perhaps we should look at his music to determine his fate.

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Manly Makeover or Maniacal Malarkey?

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Wed, 1 Jun 2005 19:06:00 -0400

When this picture hit the press, a lot of folks were up in arms. I'm not sure why they felt that way but the story seemed to have legs for a couple of weeks. Some people thougt this was such a bad thing they didn't have the stomach to look at it. People, we have to keep our heads about ourselves and really take a look and eye up the situation.

Click here to watch the video

Do We Really Need Another Way to Lose Weight?

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Thu, 12 May 2005 18:50:00 -0400

With all the specialty channels on television, it only stands to reason the we should have an "All Diet" channel. Go figure that Jack La Lanne was way ahead of the curve. So what do you think the all diet channel would look like? You can find out here.

Isn't neat that that they want you to lose weight by watching the very thing that helped you put on weight?

Click here to watch the video

The "New and Improved, Better Tasting Food Pyramid"

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Thu, 28 Apr 2005 19:50:00 -0400

The Federal Government in an effort to help it's citizens eat in a more healty manner unvieled the "new and improved, better tasting food pyramid." From all accounts, you wouldn't know it had anything to do with food. If I didn't know better I thought it was an advertisement for a step exercise running up and down thingy.

Click here to watch the video

A Soldier's Ingenuity

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Wed, 13 Apr 2005 22:06:00 -0400

The pentagon tries to give our soldiers whatever they need to fight the war. With everything that our soldiers carry into battle, they are bound to be missing just the right tool for the job. Thanks to the ingenuity of "a few good men," they use the wrong tool at the right time to save a soldier.

Click here to watch the video

Sandy Berger Suddenly Knows Right From Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sun, 3 Apr 2005 22:26:00 -0400

President Clinton's National Security Advisor, Sandy Berger, admitted in court this week that he did take classified documents from the National Archives. He took them and destroyed them. Of all people in the world that should know about committing such a crime, he receives no, I repeat, NO jail time! He will however pay a $10,000 fine.

Click here to watch the video

Wendy's Secret Ingredient

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Fri, 25 Mar 2005 23:39:00 -0500

Some of the fast food chains have a "secret ingredient" or a "special sauce." But according to one woman who ordered a bowl chili at a Wendy's in San Jose, California, the secret ingredient was a little to easy to figure out.

Click here to watch the video

Blake is Back in Business!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Thu, 17 Mar 2005 12:38:00 -0500

I'm not a prosecutor and I don't play one on TV (although I may play one soon on the internet.) If I were the prosecutor in the Robert Blake case I would have gone in a different direction. I would have proven that Bonnie Lee, Blake's deceased wife, was pregnant.

We learned in the Scott Peterson case that if someone kills his pregnant wife, then that person gets the death penalty. I'm sure the prosecutor could have found enough evidence, somewhere, wink, wink, to show that she was pregnant. If it could be proven that Bonnie Lee was pregnant at the time of her death, Robert Blake would have an adjoining cell with Scott Peterson.

Now, Mr. Blake has 10:15 tee time at the golf course with O.J. Simpson where they will continue to search for the killers of their wives.

The Newest Olympic Sport

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sun, 13 Mar 2005 18:49:00 -0500

It seems as though there are many female teachers trying out for this new emerging Olympic sport. As it turns out, everyone trying out for this sport are all losers!

What sport is it? Take a look. Click here to watch the video

As Dick Vitale would say, "This is a pressure-packed sport baaaabyyyyy!"

Restaurant Critic

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Thu, 3 Mar 2005 08:16:00 -0500

Here is my suggestion when eating in New York Restaurants that don't have "dress codes."

Click here to watch the video

They Say Everyone Has A Double!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sun, 27 Feb 2005 20:58:00 -0500

George, Is that you?

What do you do if you are very involved with the Boy Scouts? What do you do if you are a long time member of your church? What do you do if you are a leader in the community? What you do if you are accused of killing eight to 10 people over the course of 20 years?

That's easy, you move to Wichita, Kansas, and hide out in a George Costanza costume with a moustache.

What Do Paris Hilton's Cell Phone List and Me Have In Common?

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Thu, 24 Feb 2005 07:37:00 -0500

It's been reported that Paris Hilton's cell phone was hacked. For those of you who don't know what hacking is, here is the short course. Hacking when someone enters your computer system without authorization.

It seems that a hacker gained entry to Paris Hilton's cell phone and copied the names and telephone numbers and posted them on the internet for all to see.

I went on the internet to look at the list. I looked at the list and checked it again and again. Paris! Where is my name? All of the time we spent together at your family's hotel. All the time that we talked. How about our videos?

I'm dumbfounded, deranged and disappointed that I didn't see my name on the list.

Well Ms. Hotel Girl, here's what I'm going to do. I'm taking your name out of my little black book. I'm taking your name out of my cell phone. And if my cell phone gets hacked, I hope you experience the same level of rage that I felt when I realized I wasn't on your cell phone list.

That's it Paris. I can't live like this anymore. Don't bother calling me anymore. I'll send your call right to voicemail hell! We're done!

Oh, Paris, if you should see Nicole, tell her to hit me up on the cell.

Steroids For Everyone!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sun, 13 Feb 2005 21:05:00 -0500

We watched with awe as Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hit aspirins out of the baseball park each and every day. Jose Canseco says that a lot of players were involved in taking steroids to improve their ability to hit homeruns, make them faster and be more competitive.

What would it be like if people in other walks of life were taking steroids.

How about if your tax preparer was on steroids? Can you see staff accountants in the computer server room shooting up. What's the proof? These accountants were getting refunds for clients that are thousands of dollars more than the average client of their firm.

Corporate research attorneys on steroids! What's the proof? They filed for more patents than any other attorney in the firm.

Convience store clerks have been known to be on steroids. These guys are making 18 foot subs instead of the normal 6 foot subs for Superbowl parties.

You know your favorite musician is on steroids when he can play "Stairway to Heaven" in 3 minutes and 18 seconds.

How about when the self-proclaimed office stud talks about the how long he maintains.... oh wait a minute, that's Levitra, a different type of male enhancement drug. So if Jose Canseco starts talking about his Louisville Slugger, pray, just pray that he his talking about something that is authorized by Major League Baseball.

Looking Forward To Iraqi Elections

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Sat, 29 Jan 2005 23:31:00 -0500

Iraqi polling centers are set to open in about an hour from now.

I have exclusively obtained information about events in Iraq that I would like to share it with you.

Several of the people running for election to draw up Iraq's constitution have been observed by members of news media on this day prior to the election. Their reports are being shared here so that in case you don't see any of the major network broadcasts, you will have the most up-to-date information. Keep in mind that this information has not been verified, because, frankly, I have it on good authority that everything being reported here is blatantly made up.

Ahmed Al bin Algoore has been spotted at the Supreme Court of Iraq asking that every vote be counted.

Another Iraqi running for election, Ahmed Al bin Keeray was making a long speech. His supporters were desperately pleading with him to explain just what he was saying. Reporters again are working on this translation. Their initial assessment was that he was for the elections before he was against them.

Ahmed Al bin Ahareddean was speaking with some supporters. It wasn't readily apparent what he was saying, but the first attempt at the translation was something like "We're going to Basra, we're going to Baghdad, we're going to Kirkuk, Karbala, Ramadi, we're going to Mosul and Fallujah." There was some sort of unintelligible yell or scream right after that. Reporters are still trying to discern its meaning.

And finally, Ahmed Al bin Gebuushii promised to bring all the competing factions together. There is some concern in Iraq if he will be able to rule because he doesn't have a firm grasp on the Iraqi language.

This has been a Life's Little Observer Alert!

Dressing and Driving

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 10:45:00 -0500

I went online to get directions the other day to a place that was about an hour away from where I live. The results page gave me 11 instructions regarding turns to get to my location. Interestingly, the first two lines of the instructions got me 80 percent of the way there. Then the other nine steps of the directions required a greater attention to detail. A left turn here, put the light on to read, a right turn there, put the light back on, another left, put the light on, etc. etc. etc.

I finished my swim this morning and I was getting dressed after my shower. I put my pants and shirt on and realized that I was 80 percent dressed. The other items I had to put on required a greater attention to detail. The left sock goes on, then the right sock. The left shoe goes on, then the right shoe. Then the necktie has to be tied selecting the proper knot to match the collar of the shirt. And finally, the goop has to be applied so the hair is perfectly coiffed.

I'm not sure whether driving is like getting dressed or getting dressed is like driving, but I do know one thing. Friends don't let friends drive naked.

No More Late Fees, No More Late Fees!

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Fri, 7 Jan 2005 22:57:00 -0500

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Do I remember where I was when Blockbuster announced the end of late fees? No. But I am thankful for their permanent moratorium on late fees for overdue DVDs and VHS movies.

Blockbuster calls it a momentus announcement. I call it a way to supplement my 401K plan. The way I pay late fees I can fund a pretty good annuity plan. Or I could start a college fund or maybe buy a new car just from money I'm going to save in late fees.

For anyone who returned a movie or DVD and had to pay late fees, it can put a small strain on your wallet, especially if you watch five or six movies a week.

And there are the times when you are on your way back to return movies and you almost run into the car ahead of you. All of the DVDs sail onto the floor and one invariably slides under the seat and never makes it back into the store. That is followed by the letters you receive from the collection agencies stating if you don't return the DVD by midnight you will be harrasssed, your credit rating will be permanently stained and you won't be able to purchase the real movie popcorn with your next rental. I can see it now. "I'm sorry Mr. Observer, you can't buy this brand new Jaguar because you had one too many late fees."

Maybe even worse than that you will be relegated to borrowing DVDs from your local public library.

But this is a new era for cinema renters. I have the opportunity to return a DVD without late fees that I've had for a very long time. It is a Charlie Chaplin movie. There is something wrong with it though. When I play it there are no voices. So here is what I'm going to do. I'm going to put this DVD in the night drop box and maybe they'll never know it was me who returned it and that way they won't charge me for ruining one of their DVDs.

Happy New Year, I Think???

noreply@blogger.com (Life's Little Observer) — Fri, 31 Dec 2004 23:18:00 -0500

Here it is an hour and a half before New Year's. It's time to come up with some resolutions for 2005.

Last year, coming into 2004 (meaning December 31, 2003,) I made a resolution that I would come up with my 2005 resolutions much, much, MUCH earlier. This way I would have plenty of time to write and review my mission statement, set my goals and begin to implement my action plan right on January 1, 2005. After all, I would have had a whole year to get my stuff together, right? One of the things I do best is procrastinate. So here I am with less than 90 minutes to go and I don't have a clue. No mission statement, no goals, no action plan.

But I did come up with a few ideas that I can get started on tomorrow:

1. I'm going to get the oil changed in my car so it will run more smoothly;

2. I will send away for a mail order self-paced charisma course from Brian Dunkelman; and

3. I wll get an adapter for my 8-Track player so I can play my brand new Andy Williams cassette tapes.

That should keep me going until at least May. So if I can count on you guys to help me out, I would appreciate it. Can you send me an email around July or August reminding me that New Year's 2006 will be here soon and that I should get started preparing my resolutions? I would really appreciate your help. That way we will all be better prepared for this time next year!