Lifestyle and Love

How to Marry the Wrong Person

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 13:03:00 +0000

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.

You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake! NEVER MARRY POTENTIAL!! The Golden Rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!" So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:

Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?

Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?

Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?

Happiness: Does this person like her/himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable? Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goal and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person: a) Chemistry and compatibility, b) share common interests, c) share common life goal. Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're living for while you are single-and then find someone who has come to the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate. A soul mate is a goal mate....two people who ultimately share the same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same priorities, values and goals.

You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper emotional connection. To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" We are impressed by a Mercedes. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. Yes, you should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc but do you actually respect and admire this person who possesses these qualities? Also ask: "Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way? Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it. If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference between "controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made for your benefit; a control statement is made for their benefit.

You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person. If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything, marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.

You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too quickly. This can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues. Intimate involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if a couple are sexually compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry about intimate compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, intimate incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. Tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved, to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in the approach to intimate intimacy. Tradition obligates the husband to meet the intimate needs of his wife. Intimate intimacy is always on the woman's terms. Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. As a wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. When the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife pleasure, amazing things will happen.

You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle. http://www.milanoo.com/anime-merchandise-c1543 To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship. A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you. You'll not be their number one priority. And that's not basis for a marriage.

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Dating

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:47:00 +0000

Dating relationships can be a fun and exciting part of your life. They can also be confusing, especially if dating is new to you. Once you know that the person that you like also likes you, you may not know what to do next. You can start by learning about what makes a dating relationship healthy and safe.

WHEN DO TEENS START DATING?

There is no best age for teens to start dating. Every person will be ready for a dating relationship at a different time. Different families may have their own rules about dating, too. When you decide to start a dating relationship, it should be because you care about someone and not because other people are dating. A dating relationship is a special chance to get to know someone, and it should happen only when you are really ready and your parents/guardians are okay with it.

WHAT IS A HEALTHY DATING RELATIONSHIP?

Healthy dating relationships should start with the same things that healthy friendships start with: good communication, honesty, and respect. Dating relationships are a little different because they may include physical ways of showing you care, like hugging, kissing, or holding hands. You may find yourself wanting to spend all of your time with your crush, but it is important to spend some time apart, too. This will let you have a healthy relationship with your crush and with your friends and family at the same time.

WHY SHOULD I DATE SOMEONE CLOSE TO MY AGE?

It may not seem like a big deal to date someone more than 2 years older than you, but it can be. It’s possible that someone older than you might want a more physical relationship than you do.

WHAT IF I FEEL PRESSURE TO DO SOMETHING I DO NOT WANT TO DO?

Respecting your right to say no means that your date will stop if you say “no.”

You should NEVER feel pressured to do something that you don't want to do. Your crush should always respect your right to say no to anything that doesn’t feel right. Talk to your crush ahead of time about what you will and will not do.

Tips for having healthy and safe relationships top

*. Get to know a person by talking on the phone or at school before you go out for the first time.

*. Go out with a group of friends to a public place the first few times you go out.

*. Plan fun activities like going to the movies or the mall, on a picnic or for a walk.

*. Tell the other person what you feel okay doing. Also, tell the person what time your parents/guardians want you to be home.

*. Tell at least one friend and your parents/guardians who you are going out with and where you are going. Also tell them how to reach you.

Communication, trust, and respect are key to healthy relationships. Healthy relationships make you feel good about who YOU are and SAFE with the other person. Feel good about yourself and get to know what makes you happy. The more you love yourself, the easier it will be to find healthy relationships.

Desperate Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 19:03:00 +0000

In the dating world, a desperate man is one who is over-eager, anxious, presumptuous and willing to be with any woman to avoid being alone. Women can spot desperation in a man from miles away, and if you suffer from it, you’ll never stand a chance at getting any girl. A man who is desperate may have a strong want and desire to have a relationship; however, his behaviors can indicate low-self esteem and a host of other issues that turn women off and can actually be viewed as creepy and disturbing.

Here are 10 warning signs that can help you determine if you fit under the portrait of a desperate man:

1. Dropping your standards: Desperate men are prepared to drop their dating standards to fill the huge emotional void in their life. Whether they want children or intimacy the desperate man will date who they have too to avoid being alone. They will be with any woman just for the sake of being attached while failing to realize that it’s better to be single and wait for the girl who is their type.

2. Constantly fishing for compliments: The desperate man has low self-esteem, a poor self-image and needs to constantly hear how great he is and be assured of things. It doesn’t take long for women to get tired of constantly stroking your ego.

3. Overly Calling/Emailing/Texting Her: If you want to run a woman off quickly, one of the best ways to do it is to overly call, email or send text messages early in a relationship, especially when she hasn’t returned any of your messages. The desperate man makes the fatal mistake of calling the woman he’s dating and asking “Did you just call me?” after receiving a call from an unrecognized number.

4. You’re always available: Always being available makes women think that you don’t have a life of your own and actually lessens your own attractiveness, making you far less desirable. Being a challenge to women makes you more desirable.

5. You move too fast in relationships: The desperate man will spend every single day with a new girl for weeks and never know basic information about her that normally should have been covered in the first few dates. Although finding love is based on each individual relationship and some people move quicker than others, the desperate man will move so quickly with things like intimacy and s*x that he will turn a woman off with his frantic desire for a relationship.

6. You’re constantly buying her gifts: A desperate man constantly showers a woman with gifts without realizing that eventually she will become less thrilled and even annoyed receiving them. Even though the thought is nice, after a while the concept will begin to lose its meaning and she is going to get tired of always getting something.

7. Not giving her enough time and space: Desperate men tend to be a bit on the invasive side when they always need to hang out at a woman’s home for hours on end, not respecting the fact that she has a life of her own life. Women don’t always want to hang out with you day in and day out and will quickly end relationships with guys not respecting their need for space.

8. You’re in constant agreement with everything she says: Desperate men just sit there and agree with everything a woman says, thinking that’s what she wants. In reality, women want someone who is going to stimulate their minds and are not turned on by men they can completely control has no backbone.

9. You make her the center of your life too fast: Desperate men tend to make the first woman that will go out with them the only person in their life and not take the time to continue dating and getting to know other women. Telling a woman “You’re the only woman in the world for me” before the three-week period will have her running for the hills.

10. Being overly nice all the time: If a guy is too nice, too accommodating and tries to be the most giving person to a woman, she will begin to think he’s being insincere and will lose romantic interest quickly. She’ll also think that he’s only trying to achieve one thing: to get into her pants

How To Cope with Unrequited Love (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 16:13:00 +0000

Sometimes the person you're in love with doesn't love you back. Believe it or not, it happens to almost everybody. In any case, unrequited love is painful: It can even feel like torture. Find out how to make the best of it with these tips.

Limit the amount of time you spend with the person who doesn't love you. If you can, don't see them for a while.

Come to terms with the fact that they don't share your romantic feelings. You need to accept that it's just not meant to be so you can move on with your life.

Try writing a mantra such as "It's time to move on" on a slip of paper and placing it somewhere you can easily see it. Every time you see this slip, recite the words in your mind. This will help reinforce your commitment to getting on with the rest of your life.

Stay busy. Take up a new hobby such as playing the drums. Join a sports team or work your frustrations out through exercise. It doesn't matter whether it's running, swimming or squash: Find something you like and commit yourself to it. Both your body and your heart will feel better.

Surround yourself with those who do love you. This could be your parents, grandparents, siblings, other friends or even pets. Don't be afraid to ask them for a little bit of extra moral support.

Hang around with friends who make you laugh. Chances are, at least one of your friends is brilliant at getting your mind off of the person who's causing you pain. Let them help you not take life too seriously.

Take some time each day to focus on a few of your good qualities. Remind yourself that you're a great person even if someone out there doesn't like you in a romantic way. Think about what other qualities you'd like to have -- more confidence, better taste in music, better dance skills, etc. -- and set some goals about attaining them.

Remind yourself that it would not be any fun to be with someone who didn't feel as strongly about you as you did about them. Think about what love should like and notice how equality plays a big part. You deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated!

Take a little time to nurture yourself, whether it's with a good few good books or movies, some extra time with friends or simply getting a bit more sleep.

When you're ready, start hanging out with other people you'd consider dating. Give yourself the chance to fall in love again and you undoubtedly will.

How can I tell I’m in Love?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:46:00 +0000

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If this signs below are applicable to you, Buddy! You are probably in love.

You're scared to death...

of losing her, of keeping her, of never being with another woman... the list goes on and on. Are you ready for all this? What if it crashes and burns like your last relationship? Wait, how did you let this happen again? Yet deep down, you know you’re going for it anyway.

You'll do whatever it takes to impress her.

“You want to go for salsa dance? Sure." "And eat at the vegetarian restaurant afterward? Why not?” When you’re willing to bend your own rules, try new things, and go the extra mile for her - like walking her fluffy, little dog when she’s sick or helping her move when you should be watching the game - chances are, it’s that crazy little thing called love.

She's on your mind, she's on your mind...

She comes into your thoughts constantly: “Sally would love this restaurant,” “I wonder what she’s doing?” or “What can I text her without sounding too sprung?” You want her to be thinking of you too, of course, so you make up little excuses to call and say hi. Thinking about her while hoping and praying she’s thinking about you? Yeah, you’re a goner.

She makes you want to be a better man.

The stakes are high when you meet a woman that blows your mind. You become more serious and focused about getting your act together and fixing your money situation or hitting the gym. Things that used to dominate your mind just aren't as important anymore. Yes, your favourite team just lost, but the sting isn’t quite as bad with her sitting next to you. Besides, her rubbing your shoulder might even make it worth it.

You just want her to be happy.

It’s not just about you anymore. When her boss is working her to death, you help her figure out what to say. If she’s sick, you’re at the store buying soup and crackers. After she gets in a fight with her sister - even though you may have no idea what the fight was really about - you distract her so she can get back to her usual self. Because when she’s happy and laughing and so alive… there’s just nothing else like it.

You can't wait to share the good news.

Your friends know her name, her dog’s name, how she likes her eggs... Because when you’re head over heels, you talk about her. A lot. You hold her hand in public and keep your arm around her so no one gets any funny ideas about moving in. She’s pretty special, after all - how exactly did you get her again? - and you want the world to know.

You just can't resist anymore.

Believe me, you’ve tried. You swore after your last relationship that you were done - it's just not worth it - but all attempts to cease and desist have proven futile. There’s no such thing as too much of this woman; you want her there when you’re happy, sad, tired, sick. You know practically all there is to know about her, and most of it is pretty great. Yep, it's official. You, my friend, are in love.

So proceed, get ideas on how to SAY I LOVE YOU

Anger Management

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:30:00 +0000

Everybody gets mad at one time or another! Hey, even God gets mad. Let’s face it! Anger is a normal human emotion and it is the way that your subconscious mind releases mental and emotional pressure but sometimes this normal psychological function can run amok and lead you astray. Getting angry is normal, letting anger get the best of you is not. So how do you know if your anger is getting out of control and what can you do about it if you’re raging? Surprisingly enough recognizing and managing anger is relatively easy,

Your anger is out of control if…

You find yourself getting angry at everything that inconveniences you, annoys you or otherwise gets in the way of what you want to be doing,

It leads you to act out aggressively or violently as in yelling, ranting, hitting, shoving or plotting revenge,

It consumes you long after the event has passed, if you dwell on the things that make you angry then you’re in trouble because normal anger is only a temporary emotional response to unsettling eternal stimuli,

Things that didn’t used to make you angry are suddenly major issues worthy of a rant, this does not apply to times when you have suppressed normal anger only to times that anger really isn’t merited, for example when somebody gets a higher grade than you or when a person is taking too long in the bathroom,

You find yourself doing self destructive things to cope with your angry feelings, such as reckless driving, hazardous recreational activities, physical fighting, drugs and alcohol.

You can manage that anger by…

Recognizing the difference between an annoyance or inconvenience and a bona fide reason to get mad - somebody hurting you, hurting somebody you care for or damaging your property are all good reasons to get mad; somebody “disrespecting” you, getting in your way, slowing you down, being luckier than you, or doing something better than you do it are not reasonable causes of anger,

taking a deep breath, stepping away from the situation and asking yourself “Why am I really mad?”, often people misdirect anger caused by a valid yet bigger issue on to everyday annoyances and inconveniences,

know your triggers, if there are certain things that you know bother you or that you can’t accept know what they are, take steps to avoid them, and play out an appropriate reaction in your head when you're feeling calm to train your mind to react that way when the problem arises in real life,

plan your time wisely, one of the most common anger stressors is poor time management, when you’re in a rush and something slows you down even more you are very likely to react in anger, the simplest way to avoid this is to exercise effective time management,

exercising regularly, it’s true that exercise is an excellent way to de-stress body and mind, people who exercise regularly are less likely to overreact to annoyances and inconveniences,

talk it out, reacting in anger often causes the reasoning center of the brain to shut off for a time and the way you can turn it back on is to talk rather than act out when anger takes hold, it may sound crazy but taking a few minutes to gather your thoughts and speaking them out loud can do wonders to diffuse an angry situation.

Lastly:

Find something that relaxes you (music, skateboarding, drawing, etc.) and do it regularly.

If you've got a problem with someone, don't hold it inside, let him/her know about it.

Did you find this helpful? Let’s here your thought!

How To Know If Someone Likes You (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:05:00 +0000

Other people can be really confusing, especially when it comes to crushes and dating. He may IM you constantly but never ask you on a date. S/he might stare at you throughout English class then ignore you during break-time. Maybe you've got a sneaking suspicion that your best friend has the hots for you. How can you tell for sure if he or she likes you? Here are a few signs that he or she is probably into you.

Your Gut Says "Yes!"

This may be a frustrating piece of advice for people who are still learning how to recognize and trust their intuition especially teens. However, if you have a feeling that someone's falling for you -- even if you can't put your finger on why -- it's probably true. With time you'll learn how to recognize this feeling better, so don't sweat it.

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They Can't Take Their Eyes Off You

Like a moth to a flame, s/he won't be able to avoid staring at you. S/he may look into your eyes for a long time, or s/he might glance at you compulsively then look away, but one way or another, his gaze is constantly headed in your direction. This is one example of body language -- a great clue about whether someone likes you.

They Want To Be Near You

If s/he likes you, s/he's likely to put him/herself near you whenever possible. Maybe s/he finds a way to pass you each afternoon in the hall, or maybe s/he keeps showing up everywhere you are. S/he might not say anything to you, but s/he wants to learn more about you. If s/he's brave, s/he might enter your personal space to hug you, pat your arm or tickle you. If s/he does these sorts of things, she's probably into you big time.

They Remember Things You Say

Two weeks ago you mentioned that you've always wanted to learn how to swim, and s/he brings it up when you're chatting. Maybe he remembers that your favorite color is green or that you're deathly afraid of heights. In any case, if he's paying attention to little details like this, s/he's probably into you.

They Think You're Hilarious -- Even If You Totally Aren't

You told the worst the other day, and s/he was the only one who laughed. Maybe you made a pun that caused everyone else to groan, but s/he held her tongue. Perhaps s/he giggles at everything you say. If any of these situations sound like yours, there's a good chance that s/he likes you.

They Smile Like It's Going Out of Style

When you walk into the room, his/her face lights up. You raise your hand in class, and s/he grins like s/he's just won the lottery. When you talk to each other, s/he's smiling big and paying attention. Now ask him/her out already!

They Tell Someone They Like You

S/he might tell one of her/his friends that s/he likes you, or s/he might be a little more subtle and say something like "Wow, Sam is a really great dancer" or "Don't you think Paul is the nicest guy ever?" In either case, she thinks you're pretty great and would probably be thrilled if you asked her out.

They Ask For Your Opinion

S/he asks what you think about something that's important to him/her, whether it's his blog or his new pair of sunglasses. He wants to know your take on global warming or your predictions about which team is going to win the world cup. S/he's probably pretty keen on you, and this is a great opportunity to strike up a conversation -- and maybe more

How to Ask Someone Out

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 15:50:00 +0000

Maybe you just met the guy or girl you want to ask out or maybe you've had a crush on them for a while. Either way, you'll never get together if one of you doesn't make the first move. Here are a few tips on how to ask that special someone on a date.

Take a deep breath and try to stay calm. You want to seem interested in the other person but not desperate for attention.

Think about why you like them. In your head, make a list of a few things you could talk about with this person -- or a question you've been wanting to ask them.

Give them a call or find them online via facebook, twitter etc. Or, if you're brave, get them alone after school, work or somewhere that you often see each other.

Ask them if they can talk for a couple of minutes. If it's not a good time to talk, ask them when a better time might be.

When you find a good time to talk, have a conversation about something you have in common: a class, a neighborhood, a favorite band or sports team, etc.

Once again, relax. Laugh when the other person says something funny. Listen to what they have to say. Be yourself.

Tell them that something they just said is really great and ask them if they'd like to hang out sometime.

If they say yes, make plans about when and how you want to get together. Good for you!

If they say no, give yourself a pat on the back for trying. Everyone gets turned down sometimes, and you'll have plenty of chances to use this technique in the future.

Last Line

If you get "no" for an answer, don't dwell on it. You're just as great as you were five minutes ago, but with a bit more dating experience. Above all else, be yourself. You want the other person to like you for you, not some phony version of you.

Love Spells - Does it really Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 17:10:00 +0000

When it comes to the belief in modern day magic and spells, there are two camps; the believers and the skeptics. The skeptics do not believe in the hocus pocus and practices of today’s pagans and witches. In turn, the pagans and witches accept magic as readily as we accept the belief that gas prices will be higher in another month.

Spells for love, success, luck, and a number of others that are beneficial are still performed by witches, although they claim that their spells are harmless. Love spells are as popular as ever and are some of the easier spells one can cast. Beginners can do it or you can pay a professional witch to do it for you. But do love spells really work? Or are they just as the skeptics claim; a lot of mumbo-jumbo? If you are seeking love and you want some additional help in that department, here is some information you might find helpful before you get your chalk and candles.

What Love Spells Don’t Do

The days of spells that specifically target a person to bind them to the spell-caster’s will are over. Today’s spells do not twist another’s willpower and freedom. They do not put the target in a trance or force them to do anything that would normally be against their better judgment.

So love spells do not target individuals. That would be in violation of one of the rules in witch etiquette. The rule states: Do not bind another being unless you are willing to be bound. So you cannot use a spell to get that hot guy in the office next to you to fall in love with you.

Why Love Spells Don’t Work

Even witches and magic practitioners agree that spells do not always work. Sometimes they may not work they way that you want them to. One of the main reasons that spells don’t work is because of belief. Do you really believe in magic? Belief is very important for anything to work. If you have to do a project at work, it is much harder if you do not believe that you can do it. If you are playing a round of golf and you do not believe that you are very good, you will likely play a lousy game. Belief is essential if you want something to work.

So let’s say that you do believe in magic or are at least willing to give it a shot. Why won’t a spell work? It could be several things. One of them is concentration. It takes practice and experience to attain the level of concentration needed to enable a spell to work. Spells have to have energy built up in them and then released at just the right time. If you do not have the proper frame of mind, you can’t do it.

Motivation is another cause for love spells not working. You need to do some deep inner thinking before casting a love spell. Ask yourself why you are casting it. Are you seeking to hurt someone else? Are you trying to bind someone to you? Or is it truly to find love? Only when your motivation is true will the spell succeed. Selfish, greedy, or hurtful motivations are counter-productive to love spells and are a sure-fire way to get them to fail.

Timing and energy are other reasons for the failure of a love spell. Cycles of the moon play a big factor in practicing magic, particularly love spells. When the moon is waning, it is at its least power which means there is less power to draw on for the spell. If you want to cast a powerful love spell, you should wait until the moon is full and at its peak.

In love spells, part of the energy also comes from within you. You need to feel vibrant and full of energy when casting love spells. If you are sick, tired, or just don’t feel like you have much energy, then the spell will be a very weak one (if it works at all).

Why Love Spells Work

Practitioners of magic swear that if done properly using positive energy, love spells do work. When the witch or caster has enough energy, the moon is in the right phase, and their motivation is good, the spell has a likely chance of success.

One thing to help a love spell is to make a list of what type of person you are looking for. Without naming a specific someone, give details with pros and cons, likes and dislikes. This narrows down the focus of the spell and allows the energy to find someone that matches what you are looking for.

Now if you do not really believe in magic but are seeking love and willing to give it a shot, there are some things you need to keep in mind. The first is that love comes naturally. Everyone, at some point in their life, will likely find love. But first you have to love yourself. If you do not like yourself, this creates negative energy that disrupts what you are trying to accomplish.

Witches say that love spells work for those who really want to find love. If you are just messing around, you won’t get the best results. But if you are really sincere about finding love, and think about how much you want it when you cast the spell, then it will likely be successful.

Lastly, you need to prepare yourself for love. This means that you have to do some of the work. You can’t expect a spell to do everything. Clean yourself up some. Pay attention to your appearance. Buy some new clothes that will catch someone’s attention. If your hair is a mess, go get it styled. Start wearing a different perfume. If you want to have people over to your place, make sure it is clean so it will impress them. It is hard to find a soulmate if you live in a dump. Do yourself a favor and get yourself together in order to make the love spell work easier.

Is Love at First Sight a Real Thing?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 17:08:00 +0000

Romeo and Juliet fell in love at first sight. But then again, should you be getting your love advice from a 450-year old dead guy? No!

Listen to enough pop songs and watch enough romantic movies, and you're bound to start believing that love at first sight happens all the time. But does it exist in the real world, between real people?

Like so much about love, the question of love at first sight can't be answered objectively. But I'll do my best to answer it here in the most helpful way.

Is Your Mind Playing Tricks on You?

Have you ever seen someone and instantly felt attracted to every part of them, including their personality (even though you haven't even talked to them yet)? You might be quick to call it love at first sight, but it's probably what psychologists call the attractiveness halo effect. When you see someone who looks great, your brain sometimes jumps to the conclusion that their personality must be great, too.

We all know that not everyone's looks and personalities match up. Some attractive people are total jerks, and some of the best people in the world aren't what you'd necessarily think of as hot. So the halo effect is really just an illusion. Your sudden feelings of love might go away as soon as you get to know the person better.

Love: More than Just Looks

Everyone's got a different take on what love is, but few people believe that's made out of stuff you can find just by looking at someone. Love (at least if you ask me) is made up of compromise, empathy and patience. You can't give or get those sorts of things at first sight.

That doesn't mean that your initial feelings can't turn into love. When you first see someone, you might instantly know that you want to get close to them and learn about them. As your relationship progresses, those feelings might eventually grow into love. But is "love" really the word for your gut reaction? Not unless your definition of love is kinda superficial.

When Couples "Just Know"

You might meet couples who say that when they saw each other for the first time, they "just knew." What did they really know? Probably that they liked how the other person looked and acted, and that they wanted to take things to the next step and get to know each other better.

If they want to call it "love at first sight," that's okay by me. But keep in mind that there are lots of other couples who get the same feeling when they meet each other, and it ends badly or doesn't go anywhere at all. It's not the first glance that makes it love. It's the stuff that comes later - the commitment and caring that makes a relationship last.

The Danger of Believing Too Strongly in Love at First Sight

You might be wondering why I'm giving love at first sight such a bad rap. It's not that I don't think the idea is sweet, or that I don't love some romantic movies. (My favorite love at first sight scene's got to be this one from Romeo and Juliet.)

But it's wrong to think that if you don't have intense feelings right away, it could never be love. Some of the best and strongest relationships started out in totally unromantic ways.

More importantly, though, the halo effect can be dangerous. If you see someone hot and assume that what you feel is love, you'll overlook qualities in them that could end up hurting you. You might let them get away with abusive behavior because your heart has taken over your better judgment.

So What's the Answer?

Whether or not you want to believe in love at first sight is up to you. Just don't go out there expecting to find it and get upset when you don't.

And when you meet someone you instantly swoon over, be aware that there's a whole lot about them you haven't seen yet - including some stuff that might not be so deserving of your love.

How Do You Handle a Jealous Girlfriend?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 17:04:00 +0000

So let’s say that you have met this really great girl. You like being with her, you have a lot of fun together, everything appears to be going well. Then she sees you talking to another girl and whammo! The green-eyed monster rears its head. Congratulations, dude, you have a jealous girlfriend. Jealousy has been ruining relationships since the beginning of civilization (and maybe even before).

There are numerous stories, movies, and plays that center on this destructive emotion. It is a part of being human and at some point in their life everyone feels the stab. But what do you do if you have a wonderful girl but her jealousy causes all sorts of problems? You can’t go out with your friends because she is jealous that you will meet someone else. You can’t have any friends who are women nor can you talk to a woman because your girlfriend is jealous. You don’t want to lose this great girlfriend but you don’t know how much more you can take. How do you handle a jealous girlfriend? Let’s first look at what makes girls jealous.

Why Are Girlfriends Jealous

The main reason most girls are jealous is low self-esteem, insecurities, and lack of trust. Anyone can experience jealousy. Your girl may be smart and beautiful and seem to have everything going for her yet still have insecurities about your relationship. Maybe she had a bad experience with a past boyfriend. Perhaps he cheated on her and she was really hurt over it. That would certainly cause problems of self-esteem.

One main reason girls tend to get jealous is over other girls, particularly ex girlfriends. They are worried that other girls might have something that they do not. Your girlfriend may feel that you could find other girls prettier, funnier, or smarter than she is. She may also be wondering if you still have feelings for your ex. All of these thoughts will lead to the fear that she could lose you. So if you and your ex have remained friends, then this can be a big problem with a jealous girlfriend.

Handle a Jealous Girlfriend

Girls who have had a difficult time growing up tend to have insecurities about relationships. Most of our insecurities are leftovers from our childhood years anyway. If she was picked on, made fun of, or teased a lot, that is enough to leave a few emotional scars. If she was ever betrayed by anyone she really trusted (like a best friend suddenly turning on her) that would certainly cause problems of self-esteem.

Another reason for relationship insecurities could stem from her parents if they had a troubled marriage. Sometimes as girls grow up and their father cheats on their mother, it can make a negative impression on them about men and trust. As a child they think that if their father, who is suppose to fill a protective role, could cheat, then any guy is capable of it. Irrational, yes, but that is the human psyche for you.

So once you can figure out why she is jealous, you can understand where she is coming from. If you understand it, then you can better deal with it.

What You Can Do To Make a Girlfriend Less Jealous

Dealing with a jealous girlfriend can be pretty tough so you should try not to give her any excuse to be jealous. One big thing is not to look at other girls. Sure, there is no harm in looking. Everybody does it. But if you are walking along with your girlfriend on your arm and you give another lovely lady ‘the eye’ then you are just causing trouble for yourself. At the very least, be discreet and respect your girlfriend enough not to do it when they are around.

If you have several friends who happen to be women, you might need to spend less time with them until you and your girlfriend can manage to get over the jealousy issues. This can be a tough call and your friends may not like it but if you feel that your girlfriend is worth the effort, then you should try to make her happy. Just don’t let it be permanent. True friends are hard to find and you risk hurting them by suddenly excluding them.

Don’t Lie To Your Girlfriend!

Unless you want to destroy any trust that you might have built up with her, always be honest. If you lie to her about having lunch with some friends or co-workers (a couple of whom happen to be women) and she catches you at it, there is going to be you-know-what to pay. Always tell her the truth, even if it gets you in trouble. It is better to get in trouble with the truth than a lie.

Be patient with your girlfriend. Don’t get mad and yell or berate her every time she gets jealous. This compounds the problem. When you get mad at her jealousy, then it makes her insecurities worse and thus her fears of losing you get worse. So what happens? It fuels the jealousy. Remember, this is a human emotion that is hard to control. No one likes to be jealous. It is not a good feeling. So be patient with her and let her know that you understand her problem.

Talk Things Over

I have said this before and it applies here as well. The key to any healthy relationship is communication. Keep those lines open between you and your girlfriend. You need to be able to talk openly about her problem. If she refuses to talk about it, then you will never find a solution to deal with it and it will continue to cast a shadow over your relationship. By talking about it, you can acknowledge that you know she cannot help it and she can understand how her jealousy makes you feel. Communication can reinforce to her that you are being faithful and that you are not doing anything that she should be jealous about.

Help Your Girlfriend With Her Self-Esteem

If you have a jealous girlfriend, one thing you can do to help her overcome the problem is to help her with her insecurities and self-esteem. You can do this by being affectionate towards her and giving her positive attention. Compliment her whenever you can to help build her self-esteem. Show her that you appreciate her and that she is special to you. Over time, she may come to realize that she has your loyalty and that you are serious about staying in this relationship. When she has had time to work on her confidence and self-esteem, you may find that she is no longer as jealous as she once was.

Are You About to be Dumped?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 08:00:00 +0000

Signs that the end is near.

Getting dumped -- it happens to the best of us and nothing feels worse. Losing love is hard enough but add rejection to the mix and it can be devastating. When you've been dumped it feels like your world is closing in to smother you and you wonder if you will ever feel happy again. The good news is "yes" one day you will feel happy again, you will love again and the loss will become nothing more than a life experience. But when you are in the middle of it, caught in those end days of a once blossoming relationship, it can feel like the confusion will never end.

Relationships don't just end. It doesn't play that one day you are part of a happy couple floating around blissopolis only to find that the next day you are flying solo and moving in to dumpsville. Like it or not you can always see a break up coming. There are always clues. When we sense a looming break up we often retreat in to denial and this is why actually being dumped seems like such a shock. But the reality is that anybody who is willing to look can see the writing on the wall long before the relationship actually ends. What kind of things signal that the relationship is coming to a close? Here are the 12 most common signs that the end is near.

S/he is suddenly busy all the time, and never seems to have time to spend with you. When you find yourself becoming less and less of a time priority, even if the reasons for the distance seem logical, it is never a good thing.

You find that only your fingers do any walking. If you are the only one who ever picks up the phone, especially if the phone calling used to be split pretty equally, break up bells should start ringing.

When you call, more often than not you call is not answered. Better still, somebody else always seems to answer the phone and take a message; you are probably being screened, and we don't screen people we want to talk to!

S/he says s/he is one place but is really another. People do not tend to lie for no reason, if s/he is not being honest about where s/he is or who s/he is with there is rarely a noble reason for the deception.

You don't seem to connect anymore. Remember how when you were first getting together you would run into each other in unexpected places, like between classes or at the mall? If these "accidental" meetings become less common place it may be no accident at all.

Her/his friends seem distant. When somebody wants out of a relationship they often let their friends in on the secret well ahead of time. If your steady's friends seem less friendly it is a good indicator that they know something you don't and that it probably isn't good.

The lovin' is gone! When affection and PDAs (public displays of affection) start to dwindle it could mean the fire of love is also going out.

You just can't seem to do ANYTHING right. Be it the style of your hair or the way you walk, if your steady suddenly finds fault with everything you do s/he is probably trying to push you away.

S/he starts introducing you to new people as "a friend". If s/he is calling you a friend that is all s/he sees you as -- bottom line.

You seem to be fighting a lot about little things. Lots of little fights often mean much bigger things are really at issue.

Kissing and telling. Respect is a relationship essential, once it has been compromised the relationship often follows suit.

You avoid any conversation that begins with "we have to talk" or "I don't know how to say this." If your steady is using these opening lines a break up speech usually follows. If you are avoiding conversations that start like this it is probably because you sense that a break up is near and think that if you avoid the talk it won't happen. You are wrong. If a person wants out of a relationship they will get out whether you let them tell you or not. Avoiding this talk is just prolonging the inevitable.

Break ups can be harsh but they hurt less if you face facts rather than hide from the truth.

How to Deal with Jealousy in Relationships

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 18:10:00 +0000

Bothered by the attention that your boyfriend or girlfriend gets from other people? Can't stand it when your sweetie's ex is around? Sounds like you've got a jealous streak.

If you do something foolish about it - like blame your boyfriend or girlfriend, or lash out at the ex - you're going to drive your sweetie away. Here are 5 ways to ward off those jealous thoughts.

Recognize Why You're Jealous

People will rarely go out of their ways to make you feel jealous. Instead, jealousy in relationships usually comes from insecurity that you feel about yourself or about your relationship. When you feel a pang of jealousy, try to figure out what's really at the root of it. You'll probably find that solving the problem involves changing something about you rather than changing the way your girlfriend or the people around her act.

Build Up Your Self-Esteem

Confident people aren't jealous because they know they don't have a reason to be. Take a little time every day to do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself. When insecure thoughts enter your head, try to push them out. Little by little, your confidence will build, and you'll care less about what other people think.

Quit Comparing

You're probably tempted to compare yourself to the other girls in your boyfriend's life, and to keep double-checking to make sure your boyfriend thinks you're prettier and cooler than they are. Snap out of it! When it comes to dating, people can't be compared like that. No matter what your boyfriend's exes and female friends are like, he likes you for you.

Put Yourself in Other People's Shoes

If your girlfriend has an ex-boyfriend who wants her back, think about how you'd feel if you were him: probably pretty hopeless and depressed. You have more reason to feel bad for him than to be angry at him.

Remember that Acting Jealous Doesn't Help Anything

In fact, jealousy in relationships only makes things worse - especially if it changes the way you act around your boyfriend or girlfriend. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with negative thoughts? Get positive!

Understanding Jealousy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:49:00 +0000

Is Jealousy a Wasted Emotion or a Healthy Response?

The Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines jealousy as, “intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness, disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness.” It sounds simple but jealousy is a very complex emotion.

Understanding Jealousy

Jealousy is a reactionary emotion so by its very nature it has a reason. Jealousy is a very natural and normal emotional response to a perceived threat. Getting jealous is not necessarily bad. Problems arise when your jealousy gets unmanageable and your behaviors get out of control.

Irrational Jealousy

This is a type of jealousy brought on by imagined or misperceived events. Irrational jealousy is never healthy. It is based on paranoia and insecurity not in reality. People suffering from an irrational jealousy rely heavily on their feelings that something is wrong even though there are no real signs that these feelings have merit.

Without reliable external validation of their jealousy irrationally jealous individuals often sink in to a depression based on paranoia. They are convinced that they are right to be jealous even when the evidence does not support their beliefs. It is very difficult to show them the truth.

Irrational jealousy is best treated by therapy. If you find yourself feeling jealous often and can’t calm yourself with rationalization consider seeking professional help.

Destructive Jealousy

Destructive jealousy is based in reality. The emotional threat that is provoking the jealousy is real and can be backed up with external evidence. The reasons for the jealousy are valid. The way this jealousy plays out is the problem.

When feeling a destructive jealousy people usually lash out at the person or people who have caused them harm. It is an angry jealousy that is based in revenge. It is not an effective protection mechanism because the focus is on hurting back not reaching a solution.

The best way to manage a destructive jealousy is by getting counseling. In counseling you will be able to talk through the situation with an impartial third party. You will get to vent in a safe environment. In counseling you will likely learn anger management techniques to help you control your need for revenge.

Proactive Jealousy

Proactive jealousy is a jealousy that is based on a real threat to ones emotional security. The purpose of any jealousy is to avoid being hurt or to lessen hurt that has already happened but sometimes jealousy makes people do crazy things. A proactive jealousy rarely manifests as violence or self harm. While anger is a part of this type of jealousy it never takes control of actions.

This type of jealousy works as a protection mechanism. The jealous feelings lead to productive actions, like ending a bad relationship or getting out of an unhealthy friendship. The primary concern of this type of jealousy is self preservation not revenge or retribution.

Controlling Jealousy

Jealousy is a form of anger brought on by a fear of loss. Controlling jealousy is very much like controlling anger. When you feel yourself growing jealous the first thing you must do is calm down. Take some deep breaths, try to relax and then take an honest look at the situation.

Never allow yourself to go off in a jealous rage, it takes away from any validity to your feelings and makes it very easy for others to dismiss you. Approach the situation in a calm but stern fashion. State your point of view without throwing around accusations and keep the emphasis on how what is happening makes you feel.

Avoid pointing the finger or calling out others on their behaviors. Own the jealousy for what it is, your reaction, and try to reach a real solution rather than just vent your hurt feelings. A little venting is healthy but try to keep the focus on the real problem.

Learn From Jealousy

Listen to what the other people have to say about the situation that has provoked a jealous response from you. Their perspective may be very different from yours and it is possible that you don’t have the full story about what is going on. There are many innocent situations that can be misinterpreted as something sinister. Make sure you know as much as possible before getting jealous.

Jealousy exists to protect you from harm, not to control the behavior of others. It is an emotion that can get out of control if you let it. Your can never control another person but you can help yourself when that person is hurting you. Healthy jealousy can help you identify and deal with some of life’s more unpleasant lessons.

What Men Find Sexy About Women

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:28:00 +0000

The Top List

She’s Playful

Women who take themselves too seriously are seriously not sexy. There’s something about a woman who is comfortable enough to be playful, flirty, and not worry that she is risking her reputation. Please don’t confuse playful with silly. Silly women who are clowning for attention are vexing. In fact, playfulness is a great sign of maturity – a woman who loves life and isn’t ashamed to show it.

She's Beautiful

Almost every man agreed that a beautiful woman: (a) dresses in a way that flatters her figure (b) puts effort into grooming and (c) cares how men perceive her, even if the end result is very laid back and simple. There were few absolutes, except to say that a woman who thinks that going to the effort to look nice is somehow beneath her probably won’t be sexy to our test group.

She Likes and Understands Men

You might say, “Don’t all women who are dating like men?” Not really! Women who know how men function and love them for it are very sexy. There’s something about giving a man the rope he needs to pursue his passions that makes a woman irresistible.

She's Affectionate

It is hard to overestimate the impact of a physical connection to most men. A woman who understands this and gives affection freely is very sexy.

She Knows How to Say "Thank You"

Whatever your personal policies, early dating for most men is a time when they are spending money and making plans to arrange a nice outing. Men greatly valued a woman who was able to say, “That outing was fantastic”. A woman who has a spirit of gratitude signals to a man, “You can make me happy,” which is a primal component to attraction.

She's Willing to Bend the Rules

A woman who has rules, respects the rules and can still say, “This weekend the rules don’t matter,” is very sexy, and rarer than you might think according to most men. It’s this “partner in crime” mentality that men seem to find irresistible.

She's Willing to Set Aside Her Fear

It isn’t being fearless that is sexy. It’s having the fear, feeling the fear, and saying, “I’m going to set this aside and go forward anyway.” That woman is sexy. She is truly living life. She is going to suffer some failures along the way, but men will be chasing her and asking for her number the whole way.

She's a Great Kisser

Every guy considers himself putty in the hands of a woman who knows how to give a great kiss. It can take a woman’s sex appeal from 0 to 10 in 30 seconds.

She Likes to Laugh at your Jokes

Humor often comes up as a valuable trait, but it can be misleading. Men aren’t interested in women who crack jokes every other sentence. In fact, when he says he wants a woman with a great sense of humor he’s usually saying “I want a woman who thinks I’m funny.” Not surprisingly, when she does think he’s funny and laughs out loud he finds that very sexy.

Ten Things you need to know about the Person you’re Dating

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 17:06:00 +0000

Seeing someone new? Date intentionally. As you laugh at the same movies and share decadent desserts, make sure you’re getting to know important details of each other’s lives, too. Here are 10 things you need to know about the person you’re dating and some good questions to ask

Faith and/or value system

Compatible values are essential in developing a healthy relationship. Discuss faith systems, both those from childhood and any current beliefs. What does he value most in life? Does she pray? What does happiness look like to your date? What factors does she evaluate when trying to make tough decisions?

Family of origin

Talk about your families. Is she close to her parents? Does he respect his brother’s life choices? Family, both immediate and extended, play an important role in who we’ve been and who we are. Some people aspire to having a love story like their parents, others want to avoid their parents’ mistakes. Talking about upbringing can reveal a lot about how your date sees the world and what he/she believes a healthy relationship looks like

Physical expectations

If you’re ready to have sex after date ten and your date is waiting for an “I love you” first — or maybe even marriage — things will get awkward if these physical-relationship expectations aren’t outlined before one of you rejects the other. As awkward as these conversations may be, negotiate appropriate boundaries early on. Some relationships can’t withstand differing views on physical contact, so discuss this early and often.

Definition of relationship

Sure, you’re having a great time together a few times a month, but do you really know where you stand, relationship-wise? Is one of you hoping it will turn into marriage and kids while the other is commitment-phobic and enjoys seeing more than one person at a time? After a few dates, sit down to discuss your thoughts on relationships, commitment, and how you’d define where you currently are — and where you might be headed.

Conflict-resolving skills

It can be hard to assess how someone deals with conflict until you’ve had your first fight, but discussing previous conflicts and their subsequent resolutions can help you both understand how each of you deals with arguments. When you do have your first fight, debrief after it. Was your partner aggressive? Was he quick to apologize? To walk out the door? Did she respond to conflict with insecurity? With cruelty? As conflict is an avoidable part of life, discovering how your date deals with it is an important part of getting to know him/her better.

Passions

What makes your date feel most alive? What does he daydream about during board meetings? What hobby or side project keeps her up late at night? Can your date share these passions with you? Can you support these passions and projects and get excited for them? Are your own passions compatible with his/hers?

Closest friends

Don’t just meet friends in a large group setting; intentionally get to know your date’s best pals. Who does she go to for advice on a bad day? Whose phone calls does he never fail to return? Do you fit in with the group? Can you respect the people he loves? Do you feel included and respected when thrown into the group as the new person? Can you see yourself becoming friends with them, too?

Social life

If you and your significant other are not spending every night together, how do you each spend those nights apart? While introverts and extroverts can definitely make it work, being honest about your social life — how often you go out, how late you party, how many quiet nights in you crave — can help you both navigate busy, merging schedules. Speak up about what you need. If you need to be doing something project-based or social to feel invigorated, share that. If your date needs a night on the couch to feel energized and rejuvenated, try to respect that, too.

Money matters

Is your date a spender or a saver? Is the pursuit of wealth important to her? Does he aspire to living well below his means, giving most of his income away to charity? How does your date make decisions regarding big-ticket items? Money and sex are two driving forces behind divorce. Be transparent about your own spending habits and talk about your respective relationships with money. You don’t need to disclose financial details early on in a relationship, but be aware of how you both approach payday, splurges and saving for a rainy day.

Dreams and goals

Are you heading in the same direction? Can you become your partner’s greatest cheerleader and champion? Ask about your date’s dreams for his/her future. Does she have a five-year plan for herself? Does he secretly dream of starting his own business? Is parenthood, financial success, creative pursuits or travel on the wish list? When you’re dating someone, you’re both determining whether or not you fit into one another’s presents and futures. Sharing dreams and goals can better help you assess if you can partner with each other in a way that enables you both to thrive.

Does this about cover it? What else do you think is crucial to know about someone you are dating?

What’s Your Real Dating Age?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 16:58:00 +0000

“Age is just a number.” We may roll our eyes at the adage, but it’s easy to see there’s some truth in it. A youthful energy is attractive, defying age. Case in point: Some 48-year-old men look like cartoon professors. Others look like Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp.

We’ve heard the term “real age” thrown around by some people, but it’s a concept worth considering: Does your health and appearance reflect a woman much younger than your biological age? Do you defy time or fall victim to it? What’s your real dating age? It’s an important question to ask yourself as you start your dating adventure.

Don’t lie.

You take care of your body. You eat well, get plenty of rest, and exercise daily. Just because you can fit into your jeans from high school doesn’t give you permission to shave a decade or two off your age when dating. Dishonesty is never an effective dating strategy, especially when looking for a long-term relationship built on trust. Still, this doesn’t mean you can’t redefine what your age looks like. Besides, Demi Moore doesn’t lie about her age.

How young do you feel?

Fifty can be the new 30 if you’re intentional about living life to the fullest. It’s easy to complain that men are interested in much younger women, but it’s often women’s vibrancy that’s attractive, not the dates on their birth certificates. Seek out things that you’re passionate about, get your beauty rest and surround yourself with positivity. Take any symptoms of poor health seriously, and treat your body well.

How young do you look?

Just because you’re not lying about your age doesn’t mean you have to look it. Don’t dress like a teenager, but don’t fall victim to “older” fashions, either. Dress appropriately for your “real age.” Choose a hair and makeup routine that enhances your natural beauty rather than competes with it.

How do you date?

Let dating be fun. Go out for ice cream or take a dance class together. Dating in middle age doesn’t mean that you’re beyond laughter-filled adventures with your prospective partner. Let the thrill of romance make you feel young together.

Use your age to your advantage.

Your age can be an asset. You’re likely more confident in your skin than you were in your 20s. You know what you want. You don’t take life — or your Pilates-toned legs — for granted. You’re ready for a commitment, you know what you have to offer, and you’re already committed to a healthy lifestyle.

Embrace your age. And then defy it a little.

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How to End a Date

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 15:15:00 +0000

Create a Deadline

You'll know in seconds if you're interested, so if you're not feeling it, or just realized he's totally weird, set a deadline at the start of the date with an excuse. Try saying something like, "I'm so sorry. I can only stay a half hour. I completely forgot that I promised my friend I would let her dog out by 8pm.

Plant a Phone Call

It's an old trick, but it works. Have a friend call you 30-40 minutes into the date. lf the date is going badly, pretend that they need your help immediately (with a work crisis, relationship issue, etc.).

Play Sick

He's not going to know you're faking it if you suddenly feel "nauseous." Excuse yourself to the bathroom, spend about 10 minutes in there, and return to tell him you need to head home.

Offer to Set Him Up

Nothing lets your date know there's no future for the two of you faster than playing matchmaker. So, let him know you think you have a friend he'd probably hit it off with and get out of there. You're just being honest—and saving both of you time.

Make it a Threesome

Have one of your girlfriends in the area who's willing to swoop in and save you by crashing the date. Have her call 30-40 minutes in and create a code so she knows it's time for her to come to the rescue. Try, "You should try this cocktail!" Or, take it to the bathroom and give her a call or text. When she shows up, give your date a what can you do? smile and act normal

Develop an Allergy

"That pasta has pesto in it? I'm allergic!" Apologize, but let him know you left your EpiPen at home and just leave—fast

Friend Zone Him

Not feeling the spark? Let your date know that you think the two of you could be great "friends." Nothing will kill the mood faster than the F word.

Source How to end a date

How To Get a Good Night's Sleep

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 16:56:00 +0000

The importance of a good night's sleep can't be underestimated. Sleeping well can improve your concentration, your mood and your overall health. Read these tips on how to get a good night's sleep, and you'll be on your way to better sleep in no time.

Make a bedtime routine.

Try to do the same things each night before you go to bed. This could include the usual activities, such as brushing your teeth, plus a few relaxing extras such as watching a TV show or taking a warm bath. The more regular your routine the better: When you start doing these activities, your body will tell itself that it's time to get ready for sleep.

Go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning.

This isn't always possible, but the more consistent you can be about your bedtime and your wake-up time -- weekends included -- the easier it will be to get a good night's sleep.

Why? Your body operates on circadian rhythms, which are related to patterns of waking and sleeping. When these rhythms are disrupted, so is your sleep. In other words, when you sleep in one morning because you didn't sleep well the night before, your cycle will change: You'll get tired later every day and want to wake up later, too.

Avoid naps.

Naps are useful if you're feeling sick, but avoid using them when you're simply feeling drowsy. They can disrupt your body's clock and make you less tired at your regular bedtime. Instead, wake yourself up by making yourself laugh or by getting some exercise.

Try warm milk and whole wheat bread.

Warm milk contains tryptophan, an amino acid that kicks a brain chemical called serotonin into high gear. Researchers have found that serotonin plays an important role in helping people sleep. Adding a slice of whole wheat bread, a source of carbohydrates, enhances the effect of the tryptophan naturally -- and it's good for you, too.

If warm milk and bread doesn't work, avoid eating and drinking before bedtime.

Sometimes drinking too many liquids before bed can keep you awake at night. An active digestive system -- one that's grinding and grumbling as it breaks down your most recent meal -- can keep you awake, too. Try to stop your eating and drinking for the day three or four hours before you go to bed: It may help you fall asleep faster and sleep better.

Avoid caffeine, cheese and certain meats before bedtime.

Caffeine is great at jolting people awake; it's also great at keeping them awake past their bedtime and making them tired the next morning. Avoid food and drinks containing caffeine -- soda, coffee, tea, chocolate, for instance -- after 2 or 3 p.m.

Exercise in the afternoon.

Exercise at just about any time of the day is good for you, but exercising in the afternoon seems to have the biggest benefits for your sleep patterns. Playing tennis or basketball, swimming, jogging, aerobics or even walking after school can help you sleep much better at night.

Try stretching before bed.

Stretching or an exercise that includes lots of stretching, such as yoga, can help ease your body into sleep mode. Try some gentle arm, leg and neck stretches -- or a full relaxation routine -- before you hit the hay and see if it helps.

Breathe deeply.

Slowing down your breathing can help you relax and get your body into sleep mode. Try it before you crawl into bed and once you're settled in your blankets and pillows.

Relax, relax, relax.

When you're in bed, think of things that are calming and comforting. Some people use a recording of rolling waves or a playlist of their favorite chillout music to ease themselves into Sleep Land as well.

Banish stressful thoughts from your mind -- for now.

Stressed out about a friend, a test or something your mom said? Write it down in a notebook, put the notebook next to your bed, and don't think about it until the next day.

Sleep-ify your room.

Lots of things in and around your room can disrupt your sleep. Is there a lot of intermittent noise? Try a source of white noise, such as a fan, or use earplugs.

Is your room too hot or too cold? Sleep researchers have found that a room that's about 60 degrees is ideal for a good night's sleep. Try opening a window or adjusting the thermostat if your room's too hot.

A room that's too dry can keep you from sleeping well, too, and give you a scratchy throat in the morning. Try placing a humidifier in your room, and you may find that you sleep better.

Dating a Single Dad

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 15:04:00 +0000

Dating a man with children can be tricky. Scheduling time alone together, getting along with the kids and learning not to offer parenting advice can be difficult. As a couple, many times you will not be free to do as you wish and you have to be mature enough to understand this. Dating a guy with kids is not for the faint-of-heart, although if you truly love him and his kids, it can have a multitude of rewards. Here are a few things you should know about dating a guy with kids.

Learn to ignore the naysayers

When you first start dating a guy with kids, you will probably hear a lot of negative comments from friends and family. They will discourage you from becoming involved with him and tell you things like the kids may not like you, you may have trouble with his ex, you'll never have fun again or you are flat-out ruining your life. Listen, but don't let their advice change your mind if you are truly committed to the relationship. If all works out, his kids can bring great joy to your life.

Suggest not meeting his kids for at least 6 months

When you get involved with a man with children, you are involved with him and the children. Waiting to meet the children until after your relationship together is strong is best. That way, if you both decide to call it quits, the children haven't already become attached to you and won't feel the pain of the breakup, too.

Be flexible about your time together

When kids are involved, you never know when an emergency will arise, so you can't always expect plans to go perfectly. Kids get sick, babysitters aren't always available or school projects are suddenly due tomorrow and dad has to help. If the mother is in the picture, there's always the chance she can't take the kids as planned. Try to be flexible about scheduling dates and understand that you won't always come first because your guy has other responsibilities, too.

Bite your tongue about parenting advice

You may have different ideas on parenting than your man but unless he asks for your advice, try to keep it to yourself. He and his ex are responsible for raising their children and you could cause friction between everyone if you tell him how to parent. Until you are involved in the day-to-day raising of his children, keep your advice to yourself unless asked.

Stay on friendly terms with his ex

If you interact at all with the children's mother, be cordial and try to stay on good terms with her. You don't have to become best friends, just be polite when you see her. If your relationship with him and the children continues to grow, you will have to deal with the ex often so staying on good terms will make life easier. If she dislikes you anyway, just ignore her. Never talk about her in a negative way to the children and just stay out of her way, if possible, to keep the peace.

Don't take it personally if his child dislikes you

You can be the nicest, coolest person on the planet, but if a child decides he isn't going to like you, there is little you can do. Your guy's child has probably experienced either the breakup of his parents or of one or more of his father's girlfriends, so he may not want to get close to you for a long time. Or he may see you as competition for his own mother. Whatever the problem is, it is something the child needs to resolve in his own time. Be polite to the child, don't get caught up in his anger and just wait it out. He will probably come around eventually.

When to take your friendship to the next level

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 14:56:00 +0000

Often, people are friends before they are officially a couple. You may hang out in a group of friends together, know each other from college, or even meet at work and go out with a group every weekend. The tricky part about transforming from friends to an actual couple is finding out if he is as romantically interested in you as you are in him. Here are a few signs that your friendship has slowly progressed to a deeper relationship.

Your friends are making comments

Friends generally notice changes in a relationship long before you do. Your friends may be making comments to you about what a cute couple you are, that you are spending a lot of time together outside of the group or that you both seem a lot closer than you did before. This may be a sign that your friends are seeing something that you haven't noticed yet.

Woman whispering

You are putting each other first

When two people begin choosing to spend time with each other over going out with other friends or with the group, it may be a sign that your relationship is getting closer. Does your friend always call to ask you what you are doing before he makes plans for the night or weekend? Are you both planning nights out together for movies, coffee, drinks or dinner, and not involving other friends? This may be a sign that you are moving from friendship into a relationship.

You are touching more often

Are you finding that you are linking arms, holding hands or hugging much more than you ever did before? Is he initiating it as much as you are? You may notice what used to be casual touching, like high-fives or pats on the back, have now changed into more physical contact. If you both seem to be touching each other more often, your relationship is definitely changing from casual to intimate.

He actually enjoys spending time with your family

Not only is your friend willing to go to your family gatherings, weddings and holiday celebrations, but he actually enjoys it. He doesn't mind your goofy brother, enjoys playing with your nieces and nephews, and talks sports with your dad like an old friend. Getting along well with your family is winning half the battle of any relationship and may be sign he is ready, and eager, to take it to the next level.

You make future plans together

A guy who isn't interested in a relationship generally doesn't plan vacations together, commit to concert tickets six months in advance, or asks your opinion on the new car or bigger apartment he is considering purchasing. Being interested in long-term plans together is a good sign that it's time to step things up and go to the next level.

How to Get a Guy to Notice You

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 15:01:00 +0000

If you want to get a guy to notice you, you can't just close your eyes and hope he walks up to you. You've got to put some effort into it. Here's how.

Get to know him. How can he notice you if he doesn't know you exist? Walk up to him and start a conversation about something that makes sense - like a class you're both in, a holiday that's coming up, or something nice that he's wearing.

Make eye contact. Don't stare him down or anything - just make sure you catch his eye when he's talking to you. (Yes, you're allowed to blink.)

Smile. When you smile, it invites him to be open and friendly with you. Plus, it'll make you way more memorable than someone who looks all grumpy.

Don't be a jerk. You might be inclined to make fun of your crush or roll your eyes at him to hide your feelings. Don't do that stuff - it'll send him the wrong signal. Instead, play it friendly and sweet. But not too sweet. You're allowed to be a little mysterious, too.

Don't stop there. You can't expect him to do all the work, so make sure you keep up your friendship by chatting with him often. But if he gives you major stay-away-from-me vibes, you've gone too far, so back off.

Above all, you Need

A good smile

A good attitude

Some self-confidence

When Your Parents Hate the One You Love

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 14:17:00 +0000

How to Cope When Your Parents Don't Like the Person You Love

It will probably happen to you at least once in your life. You'll fall for somebody that your parents don't like. Sometimes their disapproval will be valid, other times it will be irrational, but no matter what it will be hard for you to deal with.

What do you do when your parents can't stand the person you’re dating? Before taking on the role of diplomat, or even worse the role of family agitator, there are some things that you need to examine. You need to take an honest look at your romantic motivations and the reasons for your parents' objections.

Examining Your Motivations

Why are you dating this person? Be brutally honest. Are you crazy in love or loving driving your parents crazy? If you are motivated by rebellion the simplest and right thing to do is end the relationship.

It isn't fair for you to use somebody else to get to your parents. With the relationship out of the way you will be able to focus on the real issue of why you feel the need to resort to such drastic rebellion in the first place.

Do you have real and deep feelings for this person, or do you have less heart felt reasons for the relationship? Are you dating this person because of pressure from friends or in the name of popularity?

If your feelings are based on your reputation rather than your heart you are being unfair to the person you're dating and your parents. Take a step back and ask yourself if the relationship is really worth all the drama it is causing. Chances are good the answer will be no and your problem will solve itself.

What if It's Love?

Love doesn’t always make sense. People fall in love for many different reasons. Opposites can attract and people can find themselves in relationships that look weird to the outside world. When you find love it can make anything seem possible.

When your parents object to your love it can feel like they just don’t understand. It can be confusing and upsetting. You love your parents but your relationship is important to you as well. If you are in a good and loving relationship you will do whatever it takes to protect it, even go against your parents.

Examining Your Parents' Objections

Sometimes you have to fight for love. If your parents don’t like the person you love you will definitely have a fight on your hands. It is important for you understand where your parents are coming from and why they disapprove of the relationship. When you know why they object to your relationship you will be better able to reason with them and stand up for your love.

Some of the reasons your parents disapprove may seem silly, others may seem wrong and some may actually have merit. It is up to you to look at the whole situation and see if your parents are seeing something you aren't or if they are acting from a place of ignorance.

When Your Parents Are Wrong

Parents are not always right. Objections based on racism, classism, religious bias or homophobias are not acceptable. While your parents may have the best of intentions with these types of objections you need to hold your ground and not give in to their bigotry.

Your parents are likely objecting because they fear for you. They are probably worried about how the world will react to your relationship. Being in an unconventional relationship can be difficult. The world can be a cruel place. Your parents are probably worried about seeing you struggle. Their reaction is wrong but it is based on their love for you and their desire to see you get the best out of life.

Sometimes parents cling to outdated social attitudes. They hold on to ideas that are not shared by your generation. If this is the case, if your parents are trying to get you to conform to their biases, you need to stand your ground. You need to tell them that in this situation you will never see things their way. Suggest that in this case you should agree to disagree. They probably won’t like this but they don’t have to. Objections based on bigotry are wrong even when they come from your parents.

When Your Parents Are Right

When you are in love you may be blind to your partner’s flaws. Your parents aren’t so easily fooled. They can often see things in your relationship that you are unwilling or unable to see. They love you and want what is best for you and seeing you in a bad relationship is hard. Of course they will disapprove!

When your parents see something in your relationship that they don’t like you need to listen to what they have to say. You may not agree with them after you hear their point of view but it is important that you hear them out.

If your parents have heard bad things about your partner, if they have seen behaviors they don’t like or if they are worried that you are being hurt, they are going to object to your relationship. You need to try to listen to them without getting defensive. They may be right.

If you have started doing harmful things because of your partner, like alcohol or drugs, your parents have a valid concern. Your parents have a right to speak up if your grades are dropping, if you’re losing friends or if you have stopped doing the things you used to love to do. Listen to them. It is not healthy for any relationship to consume your life. Your parents may be able to see that this is happening when you can not.

Finding Peace

Love can feel very good. It can change you in some very positive ways. If your love has a positive influence in your life it is worth holding on to even if your parents object.

When love gets shady you need to rethink the relationship. You should never lose your life when you fall in love. Friends, family, hobbies and school are all still important. Being in love should not mean you give these things up. If your love is making you lose yourself it's time for a change.

Your parents only want to see you happy. They don’t want to see you struggling or making decisions that will complicate your life. Understand that they have your best interests at heart and keep the lines of communication open. Be honest with them about how you feel. They may never like your partner but they can come to accept your relationship.

How to Find/Know a True Friend

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 14:12:00 +0000

What are the qualities of a good friend? True friendships can start instantly but they take time to build. Below are few qualities to look for when making friends.

A good friend is honest.

A good friend may not share every detail of every second of their life, but they do try to be clear about their intentions. This means that they try to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations. When something doesn't seem right, they let you know.

A good friend is fun, unique and interesting.

Well, this is a given, and probably the reason you became friends in the first place. But there's a lot to be said for chemistry and shared interests.

As for fun, it depends how you define it: Some friends are fun because they're the life of the party, others are fun because they notice every strange little detail about a situation. Some people are fun simply because they see life like no one else does.

A good friend is attentive and adaptable.

A good friend is at least a fairly good listener and notices how little, day-to-day things affect you. They can't read your mind, but chances are they can usually tell when you're happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. If they're aware that they're doing something that annoys you, they try to change their ways or at least talk to you about it.

A good friend is supportive of you and your goals.

Sure, your friend may think you're cool, but are they on the same page as you? Do they know what you want most out of life? A really good friend will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable or put you at risk of losing something that matters to you.

A good friend is a friend you can trust.

A true friend won't try to steal your girlfriend or boyfriend, your job or your personality. They won't gossip about you constantly or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble.

A good friend makes it clear that they care about you.

Different people may have different ways of letting you know that they care about you. One person may give you a big hug whereas another person might gently tease you. A big clue that someone cares is that they talk to you fairly often and, in general, know what's going on in your life and act interested about it.

A good friend sticks with you in good times and bad.

Loyalty is a quality almost everyone lists when asked what they look for in a friend. A loyal friend will stick with you when things isn’t right with you. If you move or switch schools, they'll do their best to stay in touch with you.

A good friend accepts you for who you are.

In friendship, being accepting goes hand in hand with being loyal. A true friend rolls with the punches as you grow and change and know how to deal with your quirks and faults.

They are also patient with you when you make mistakes -- even big ones -- and learn how to forgive you when you hurt them. In other words, they treat you as you'd like to be treated, even when you aren't at your best.

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THINGS A MAN SHOULD THINK AND KNOW ABOUT HIS WOMAN

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 15:24:00 +0000

If a woman wants you, nothing can keep her away. If she doesn't want you, nothing can make her stay.
Stop making excuses for a woman's behavior.
If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a woman's character, let her go.
Allow your intuition to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change her or yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Don't force an attraction.
Don't let a woman push you into a relationship you don’t want to be in.
A woman wants to be with a man she can be proud of at all times. Don’t be a fool.
It takes a second to lose her trust, and a lifetime to gain it back.
If you feel like she is stringing you along, then she probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid women who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different men.
Maintain boundaries in how a woman treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Don’t be with a mean-spirited person. Being “mad at the time” is not a good excuse.
Be with a woman you admire and trust.
Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let her figure things out (but don't wait for her, move on).
There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If she causes any of them...flee.
You cannot change a woman's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't let her place rules on you that she is not willing to follow herself -- double-standard.
Don’t worry about what your friends say, think about how you feel.
Be with someone who shows kindness... to everyone.
Don't EVER make her feel she is more important than you are...even if she has more education or in a better job.
Do not make her into a goddess. She is a woman, nothing more, nothing less.
Don’t be superficial, remember 25 years from now its not going to matter “who’s cuter”.
Actions speak louder than words. Don't play games.
If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on you.
Just because she says she loves you, doesn't mean that you are meant to be.
Love is a verb.
Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
If you don't love yourself...you can't love anyone else.
You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing attractive about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Never become your woman's "therapist".
When actions and words conflict, believe the actions.
Be with a woman who respects herself.
Give her space...let her go out with the girls, don't pressure her to spend time with you, You can't force a woman to hang out with you.
Never let a woman know everything. She will use it against you later.
Never co-sign for a woman or let her mess-up your credit.
Sex is a small part of a real relationship. Find someone you can talk to.
When it's time to let go; let go.
Good women should be treated like good women.
Good women do want good men.
Never date a girl who looks fake or acts fake.
If you want out, get out. Don’t be complacent or lazy.
Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
There is someone out there worthy to be in your life. Let out the trash, so she can come in.