Light and Salt: Sisters Blog

- Women in the Bible Series -

2013-10-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

27/10/2013
Mary - mary and martha loved the Lord, though in different ways.
They called Him, "Lord".

Mary showed thru actions, no words except when Lazarus died.

First incident: she sat at Jesus feet The Lord must've shared things from His heart before her while she was at His feet.

Second incident: Lazarus' death When mary saw Jesus she fell before His feet in grief. Jesus waited when He heard the news of Lazarus death... "God's delay is not His denial."

He wants the best for us, He knows what is ahead. It is often harder for the one who makes the wait than the one who is waiting. Time is the best test of faith.
Isa 40:31 Jesus love was very personal to Mary.
He called for Mary when He arrived to see Lazarus. Mary and martha already had faith on Jesus even before He came. They said if You had been here Lazarus would not have died.
Jesus response was so full of compassion. He groaned in His spirit seeing Mary and Marthas grief.

Mary was so close to God but she still went thru hardships. He gives us the test of faith because He loves us. He is never far when we go through difficulties.
Psalm 71:21
Before you even go thru the trials He is already there for you, ready to catch you.
He wants all of you even when you are bitter while going thru trials.

Third incident: mary offering her costly oil to Jesus feet She was at His feet again.
Before His death on the cross He visited mary and martha. Mary gave her most valuable gift to Him. Hoe did she know? He must have told her when she was at His feet.
The Lord must have felt comfortable enough to share with her. She was so close to the Lord. Some ppl say she was the woman after God' s heart.
Her pouring of the costly oil is her showing of how much she loved Him.

However the Lord was touched not because of her costly sacrifice but because of her heart towards Him. He does not desire sacrifice from us but only wants our heart. If the things you do for Him is not out of love, He'd rather not have it.

He wants us to be the lover of His heart.
Let us be the modern Mary of this world, the woman after God's heart, be His lover.

When Life feels empty

2012-05-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you wonder why life is so unfair. You look all around you and you see people enjoying life with their friends, family, and loved ones and you're walking all alone to school/work. You see pictures on billboards with people living what seems to be a life of wealth, pleasures, and other superficial things, without being aware that the person walking in front of you is still struggling with drug addiction and family problems.

There are times when you're bored with nothing to do. Your path ahead appears to be a field. You think about other things to do, like drawing and running, and you wonder if it's worth it. You don't really have much of a choice except for DNTG-ing, or take the wasteful path of browsing things on the internet and checking Facebook every hour. Sometimes you even wonder why your non-believer classmates and friends have a lot of blessings in their packed lives and you don't have much. You get jealous when one of your friends talk and post nothing except for how much they're in love with their significant other or house or whatever. You ask God "How come my life is so boring compared to (inserts name of person)?"

There are times when it's the Lord's will that you have an unsatisfying life so you can fly back to Him. He wants your full attention toward Him because He loves you so much. The Lord wants to hold authority over you so you can have a best life He desires you to have. If we search for a life that doesn't match God's plan, thinking only about ourselves, then we would find ourselves empty, no matter how many things we have.

"For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." James 4:14

Recalling yesterday's group meeting we were talking about how we care so much about worldly matter we forget about the Best. We should be blessed that no matter how busy or bored we are we should treasure every moment with the Lord, because you never know what happens tomorrow according to His plan. The same goes for non-believers who seem satisfied with their lives. One day they could lose everything, like Job. They need God just as much as we do because only He can mould our lives perfectly.

If you feel that your life needs a little kick, you can pray to God for yourself "Lord, I know that You cause all things to work for Your good. Let me know what You want me to do with my life."

Who Am I?

2012-05-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I attended a distant relative's wedding luncheon with my family (it was my dad's cousin from my grandma's sister's family). My grandma's sister's family, if you recall, are Catholics. However, my uncle, who was getting married, is a Christian. His decision to convert to Christianity was difficult to everyone (as Catholics and Protestants did not have a very nice history in the past). This marriage of his was not fully accepted by his own family members, not because he chose to have a Christian ceremony, but because this was also his second marriage (after his first one failed). Besides the awkward giant elephant in the room during the wedding luncheon, I got to meet the newest member of the family, my baby second-cousin. I also caught up with some of my other second-cousins who were much smaller the last time I saw them, but has started to grow up. My grandma's side of the family are young and has mostly children.

During this time I realized that this family was growing by numbers and that God's presence was in it--and at the same time, Satan was using his full strength to also tear this family apart. Back at home after the wedding, I began to think about my own immediate family, my grandparents on my mom's side who has not been saved yet, my aunts and uncles, and my youngest cousin... I suddenly felt this surge of energy through my veins, something inside me screamed, "GO BRING THEM BACK TO CHRIST!" I felt myself talking back through this energy doubting, "Who--me?!" This energy replied, "YES YOU!" I replied hesitantly, "who am I?"

I felt myself being instantly reminded of Moses when he encountered God's voice talking to him through this burning bush--I'm not saying this "energy" I felt was God's voice.. I'm not sure what it was. Perhaps it was the Holy Spirit stirring my soul to an epiphany to realize how much my family needs God. So here I was, in the bathroom, debating with this energy. "Look," I continued, "I already tore my family apart in the past, look at all the mess I've made. How am I supposed to put it all back together and fix this?" Patiently and reassuringly this energy told me, "With God, all things are possible." With that, I felt this energy fade away to the back of my mind echoing those last words. With God, all things are possible. This family needs God, this family needs revival!

This story sounded all too familiar; in Exodus 3:11-12 as Moses questioned his credibility, "who am I...?" and God responded to him, "I will certainly be with you..." Moses must have been so scared and doubtful of himself. Bringing the children of Israel out of Egypt into freedom is ambitious--and daunting. I also felt nervous about myself, doubting my spiritual strength. I don't know how to do this. I must pray more earnestly for my family than ever before. But with my past mistakes, how can they possibly see me as a Christian? How would they ever take me seriously? How can I possibly glorify God when my past failed judgements and mistakes clouded their impression of me? This is going to be difficult, I thought to myself. Then again, it's never that easy. But just like Moses, I was reminded that with God all things are possible and that "[He] will certainly be with you".

It's Mother's Day today, and while this post started off being about famous mothers in the Bible, it took a turn towards my own struggle with myself; my struggle to fix what I did wrong, and to glorify God with a stain on my reputation as a Christian in my family. Alas, we are just human and mistakes are all made; we are all growing up in Christ so sometimes mistakes are made--but we must learn from them instead of dwelling on them, this is how we grow even more.

I know most of you sisters still have mothers (and family alike) whom we want to be saved. Sometimes language barriers make it difficult for us to preach the gospel, or cultural differences make it harder for them to be open-minded to Christianity because they are so firm with their current beliefs. Or perhaps, our past mistakes are making it harder for us to glorify God in our families because our family has clouded their thinking still dwelling on our mistakes. But whatever the difficulty we must break through these barriers! We must work harder, and pray harder than ever before. The Lord is coming soon! Let us not forget that, and feel the urgency in this.

May we glorify God in this generation. May God greatly use us in our own households to bring our family members back to Christ and be saved. Whatever difficulties caused by Satan or personal problems, may we remember that God is always with us; with Him, all things are possible! We must have faith and be strong in our spirits. May God be the head of our household, may His presence be greatly with our families. May the Holy Spirit be poured down upon our family members and have them open their spiritual eyes to see Christ living through us--and past whatever barrier that is preventing them from seeing that.

It seems fitting for today being Mother's Day, that we should pray for our Mothers tonight. Whether you have a good relationship, bad relationship, or none at all--may we pray for their soul. I hope we can work harder towards this and bring our families to Christ, or bring them closer to Christ. Tonight I have started praying for my family members again. I was reminded of a post I made earlier on this blog about trying to bring my family closer to God again--I think it is time I revived that goal of mine.

Most importantly, I have to pray for myself. It's been a difficult year for me as I tried cleaning up my past woes. I've been battling with myself, my wants, desires and ignored what I needed. I feel as if I am spiritually unfit and easy to Satan's attacks, accusations and temptations. Recently I have been disciplining myself physically and spiritually but I doubt my own spiritual strength. So this energy echoes deep within my heart, "With God, all things are possible."

Karen's Life Journey- The University Years

2012-05-10T17:28:00.001-07:00

It's been so long since I've posted something on Blogger. I've been very busy in school. Now everything's settled now that I've officially graduated the program yesterday.

For those of you who have done University/College/etc. You've probably experience something similar.

First of all I feel so thankful that the Lord has put me into East District two years ago, even though I've popped into meetings every now and then before then. I've made very great relationships with sisters (and some brothers?) that I never thought I could share and spend time with before. <3 The Lord really understands my needs for company. But best of all, I've gained spiritually and find the relationship with Abba and the Lord more enjoyable. :)

You see, the years in university isn't always a smooth ride. Throughout the years I've had my ups and downs.
During the first couple years it has been good that I've lived on my own and had good roommates. Though my relationships with them aren't as close as I wanted to, but I still thank the Lord that I was surrounded by nice and caring people.
By third year I've experienced a downturn in life where I've gotten very depressed. I started to become more distant with friends since I've moved back with parents and had a huge load of homework from a disorganized curriculum. I've also been spiritually disobedient at the time. Listening to stuff that I shouldn't be listening to, hurting my own body to ease the pain. Even Christians have their angsty times, but the Lord never gives up because He loves and needs me so much.
During the summer while my job searching didn't succeed, and I was having a difficult time spending time with friends, I joined summer day camp. It was the Lord calling on me to be more closer to Him. Not only did I start experiencing spiritual renewal but I've also felt closer with sisters.
It was during the end of 2011 that I've experienced a turning point in my spiritual life. By fourth year it has been very tough when I felt so unwanted and unimportant to people in my classes. The Lord really saw me distressed and lonely from school and shone a light on me. I truly give thanks that during that time I was able to seek more sisters and be more committed to the Lord. If it wasn't for His glory I would've keep falling and won't be able to overcome personal issues.
I thank the Lord for putting me through and helping me stay alive, both physically and spiritually. (I believe I haven't pulled more than 10 all nighters in the entirety of the program, compared to most other people). Now that school's over I really need to continue to treasure His love and blessings.

It's important to know that no matter what we have to face, if we rely on God for everything and letting Him involve Himself in our (even mundane) lives, then He will surely bless us. Be thankful and treasure whatever blessings He gave you.

Response to Sunday's Message, &, When Should You End a Friendship?

2012-05-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

I was just reading an article online, and it showed a part (just a part, not the entirety of the article) that related similarly to the message last Sunday. Here is an excerpt:

When Jesus’ friend and disciple Peter tried to talk Jesus out of giving His life, Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns” (Matt. 16:23). No one could distract Jesus from God’s agenda, not even His followers.

When I read this verse, I never understood it in this context. It was a little confusing for me--why did Jesus call Peter 'Satan'? Now, coupling it with last Sunday's message I understand what Jesus was saying to Peter more clearly now.

There was this moment when I just went, "OHHHHH I get it now!" when I read this article. I always enjoy getting a good kick out of things that relate to something else I heard about earlier or recently. I can't ever tell if it is a coincidence or because I'm noticing this one specific thing more so everything that relates to it will stand out more than before. Pretty sure it's the latter.

Click here for the link to the article. It's titled "When Should You End a Friendship?". Although this is irrelevant to my short response to Sunday's message, I think it is important for us to understand the 'toxic' people and habits in our lives. This is especially when we graduate high school.. unfortunately some friendships will break or become more distant, or you will meet new people in University/College. But know that if a friendship starts to wane, it may be in God's plan for you to go from the past and move on; or if you make a new friendship that is dangerous for your spiritual health, know and recognize that you must leave it!

May we treasure our blessings and keep these teachings in our hearts.

-Kay

update

2012-05-04T10:07:00.001-07:00

Hi sisters Here's a brief update on my mom. A couple days ago (thurs) i went with her to the doctors, they wanted to explore the option of bone marrow transplant for her because they think she has a 60% of leukemia relapsing, but then again, the transplant has its high risks also.. they said 2/3 people don't make it in her case (age group.. etc) so it was a very scary and tough decision to make... Please pray for her and my dad, they must be pretty shocked and worried. My mom's thinking of just doing the transplant. Either road seems so.. unclear. dont do - somewhere along the road, it'll relapse and she'll be even sicker.. do - chance of not making it really high, but its a chance of survival/cure of leukemia... i don't know what to do. i've been praying a lot for her. yesterday i talked to her again about God, just like a reminder if she still rmbs accepting Jesus, and she said yes :), the thing is... her concept is still pretty questionable, she says she believes in Jesus, but also in her old religion, all gods kind of thing .. :S i was like, you can't believe in all gods, there can only be one, but she insisted that she believes Jesus, but also the other... (i asked her why... she said mainly because she was brought up in it, and if she doesn't she'd feel like she's betraying her parents, its like being dutiful to her parents/honouring them.. i didn't what to say, except, ok... but i told her bro/sis will be praying for her, so if everything works out, i hope she knows that Jesus was the one working the miracles. hehe...) Anyways... yea... tough stuff ahead for my family and i think it's sorta affecting me also. of course i want her to be fine, have successful process of transplant, but it's always the unknown, i just hope she really does believe in God/Jesus :) sometimes, i feel like we're the israelites... God performed miracles for them, but when things are going ok, they forgot Him... (my mom is fine after her super sick stage, something i'll always give thanks for) but now, we're like asking for another miracle.. we cry out to Him when we need deliverance, and i know it shouldn't be like that, but should always praise and give thanks, it's something i'm still working on, i need to have greatest faith in Him :) I also need to know how to help my mom be like that too... ok that's all. again, please pray for my mom and dad :) thank yous!

Sleep

2012-04-25T12:05:00.001-07:00

It seems surreal to say it: I had my last exam yesterday! I am officially moving on to third year university and hoping to graduate within another two years. One baby step at a time, and each year I'll celebrate each step. And during the past three weeks, I have neglected sleep, nutrition, and overall health (including my mental health) as I worked hard for these exams and other planning stuff. After my last exam was over at noon, I wanted to just go home and sleep but my friend wanted to go out and 'celebrate'. As tired as he knew I was, he insisted that we go and 'celebrate'. So after movies and dessert, I rushed home late that night. All I could think about was diving into bed and falling straight to sleep, but instead I found myself taking my time in the shower, slowly getting ready to go to bed, and just sitting on the edge of my bed for at least a good fifteen minutes. I didn't even check Facebook or my email during that time either. I just sat there. I pulled out my notebook and wrote this:

That moment of surrender right before you go to sleep after a long and tiring day--you finally allow yourself to stop and rest. Vulnerable, yet at a complete peace. You are almost afraid to fall asleep right away because you want to enjoy this moment--this moment when you can actually feel your body relax...fall from the edge of stress and into the arms of sleep.

Then I closed my Moleskin-wannabe-notebook, said my grace, so vaguely gave thanks for everything, and laid down on my pillow. I didn't even get to put my covers on yet. I wanted to slowly go to sleep and just take in every moment and step of falling asleep. I treasure sleep so much, others say I over-analyze sleep. As you see, when I was a kid, I had trouble sleeping and this developed over time into my teenage years where my lack of sleep caused a lot of problems. Sleep is so important to me, that I even plan meticulously the details of my bed (one extra-long twin sized bed frame with a stiff mattress and a medium-stiff memory foam on top, two king-sized pillows, down-feather duvet, with 800 thread-count comforter cover...), my mom helps me with this too as she also loves sleep. Notice that I said "sleep" in it's noun form and not "to sleep" in it's verb form. I love sleep.

However, during the past few weeks, not only did I purposely force myself awake to study, and even when I did manage to have a night off, I would wake up violently in the middle of the night--my body felt extremely weak. I cannot ever "over-sleep", for instance, today I tried to sleep in til' noon and I ended up waking up at 9am instead. Close enough, I suppose, just a few hours later than what I normally wake up to. So last night's sleep was the best sleep I had in months, not because of the hours of sleep I had but the feeling of going to sleep..drifting away into slumber.

I think I may have over-meditated on sleep a bit as I began to think, even the Lord had no place to lay his head! I thought of His tiring journey to the cross, and I instantly felt tired from even thinking about it. After a day's physical hard work, your body would normally just crave sleep. I found myself trying to feel what it must have felt like for the Lord to finally "give in" to death (if only for temporary). It must have felt so wonderful to "sleep" (when I was a kid I imagined Jesus just sleeping in the tomb for three days, although that might not be the fully correct term of what happened to Jesus afterwards). "Sleep" must have been the best thing that happened to Him all day after being ridiculed, spat on, tortured...

Very similar to what I wrote in my notebook: I meditated on why didn't He just choose to die quickly while He was on the cross? He technically could have "finished" His mission and not endure it any longer. And so I thought to myself, maybe it was the same satisfaction as I had felt..slowing the time before tiredness and sleep. Although I would exactly describe it as "satisfaction"--which is why it makes what He did so romantic and...well, words just can't describe.

My mom jokingly said, "I love sleep so much, I would go take a nap in heaven even if I didn't have to!"

Valentine's Day in the eyes of the Lord

2012-02-14T16:53:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's that time of year where lalala... love is in the air. A day to celebrate with loved ones, and for some, a day to cringe about how unfair life is.

Actually, the truth behind Valentine's day is quite heartbreaking. It is dedicated to a saint who was martyred for bringing Christians to marry. It reminds us about the Christians who have been persecuted for glory the Lord, just like how He was persecuted that we may glorify Him. It's so precious that today we could celebrate because the Lord is with us, from now until eternity.

So yesterday I bought three roses (before I realized the school's selling roses at a better deal) and put them in my living room. Then I remembered and thought about the Lord's love for me. I imagined what it would be like to have a Valentine's Day conversation with Him.
I say. "Beloved, these roses are truly beautiful."
He says "Darling, not only have I given to you, but I created them to remind you of how beautiful and precious you are in My heart, and that nothing should take away your beauty."

It's so amazing that God speaks to us by the things He created on Earth. How precious that the rose is so wonderfully made. Its thorns help protect the rose from being touched and damaged by animals.

And a quote from Songs of Solomon to keep the love flowing.

Shulamite: I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys.
Beloved: Like a lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters.
- Songs of Solomon 2:1-2

So if you're that kind of person who gets jealous on that day, think about how much the Lord desires you. Jealousy will only make your heart harden and you'll be missing out on so much love He intended to offer. So, enjoy the rest of your day, or rather, eternity, in the love of the Beloved.

-Karen

Morning Glory

2012-02-13T23:15:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day! <3 - From the plant in my room

This is a 'morning glory'. I grow this in my room every year. It's a climbing plant that climbs up and twirls itself around some fishing wire I've attached to the ceiling--so it keeps growing up to the ceiling until winter; it creates this curtain of flowers. It's messy to clean up every winter when it dies. The vines are all over the place, the leaves get crushed and goes all over my room, the dried up flowers fall and litter my floor, and I eventually end up getting soil all over my desk. So my friend asked me, why do I still grow this in my room at the end of every winter?

Well, I explained to her, that morning glories are a special kind of plant. It blooms a new flower every single day, in the morning. When the flower closes and fades in the evening, it starts to grow seeds where it bloomed.

Still, she didn't see the appeal. So I explained again from a spiritual perspective. This plant, reminds me of the Lord's love. Every morning He gives me flowers. The vines are like the Lord's encouragement to me, He tells me to keep climbing! Even when the plant reaches the ceiling, it keeps growing, it doesn't stop--the Lord has so much planned for us, it seems limitless. Sometimes when I trim the plant by cutting the vines, more vines will grow up to replace where I've cut. Never give up, even when you've been 'cut down'. The plant is very tall when it reaches up to the ceiling which means I have to give it lots of water for the water to reach up there--this reminds me to be rooted in His love, to drink His blessings, fight 'gravity' to bring it throughout my entire life, to reach every 'leaf'.

She then looked troubled and said that being a morning glory must be a really horrible life (if morning glories had personalities). She explained, every day you labor to produce flowers, only to have the flowers wither away at the end of the day and for your entire self to wither away at the end of the year. Labor until death.

And so I replied to comfort her, at the end of the day when the flower withers away, the stem in which the flower bloomed from still remains attached to the plant. From there, seeds are produced in the bud. At the end of the season when all the seeds have been collected, more morning glory plants can be planted at 20x the original amount! I said, the Lord will never forget your labors and toils and you will be rewarded for it. Your labor will never be in vain!

So she found peace in this plant, just as I have. I love receiving flowers from the Lord through this plant, especially during the winter time. Knowing God is in the Small Things is really encouraging! You don't have to look too big or too far, He will always find a way to tell you He loves you. So, I thought I would share this with you! Hope to lift some February Blues.

Respond in the comments below:

What kind of 'small' daily blessings do you find yourself receiving from the Lord?

Devalued

2012-02-01T14:17:00.000-08:00

A picture I took when I went to survey the Distillery District. It's a rather bad image due to my low quality of a camera--but when I stood there in that spot as I looked towards the colourful city, I thought, it's a shame that this place was left to ruins as the city progressed. It's almost as if the rest of the city had abandoned this district so it could grow faster; as if the Distillery District was dead weight... but it came back. The district is growing again.

Just a short sharing.. it's amazing how the Lord speaks to each one of us. If we keep our eyes and ears open, the Lord will chose the right moment to speak words to us, and in the most unexpected places, as well. Why, just last week while sitting in lecture, my professor said something that really sparked an epiphany. He said, "If we think of Algonquin Park as a place to escape from the city, then we have devalued the city--we have created this 'other', this exotic image of what nature should appear to be, as a pleasant place to go, that we have completely abandoned the idea of transforming our neighbourhood to be just as pleasant a place to be."

I sat in my Perspective of the Environment class stunned in awe at what he said. I thought to myself, this is exactly what I needed to hear! In order to have revival, it is not just going away from something to find something new, but to go back to the old and transform it. Have I devalued what I already had so quickly to the point where I already want something new? Is what I have gained a toy where I have played with it enough where I want a new one? And thus caused me to wander off to search for the 'other'--a place, or something, or someone, that I can escape to?

May we not devalue what we have gained, because what we have gained is so beautiful. Let us transform it together! :)

Be blessed, and be a blessing

2012-02-01T12:44:00.000-08:00

Life is becoming a burden these days. Nowadays the world demands of things that don't seem to matter because it will perish one day. Let's say for example: Sometimes I wonder why I'm learning stuff like how to design Green Buildings so they can last for a long time, or consider renewable energy instead of oil so the world will be a better place. Well, going green may help improve the environment, but in the end it won't matter because the world will perish. (sorry for being a pessimist) I'm not saying keep using your cars and pollute all you want, because you don't want to make this place worse to live in either. Remember that a clean, healthy environment is a blessing the Lord had made, and He will greatly involve Himself in every aspect of life.

...celebrate the dedication with gladness, both with thanksgivings and singing... - Nehemiah 12:27

It's so precious that the Lord revealed Himself more to me about His will of joy and His desire to share it with me. Even though I'm still battling the wrong concept of thinking that you can't enjoy anything anymore because everything's so fruitless or will perish, I do hope that He will bring me joy from His blessings.

Speaking of which, I do have prayer requests for myself and my friends from university. Even though I'm not that 'close' to them, I care about them very much. I saw that their hearts are saddened by the wrong concepts of this world and I really want the Lord to reveal Himself to them. Pray for me also that I may reconnect with them, because my contacts with them are becoming more distant. I really want Him to greatly use me in this generation.
Give me a call if you want me to talk more about this.

-Karen

Born in the wrong generation?

2012-01-23T17:45:00.000-08:00

Something came to my mind earlier. Yesterday a bunch of brothers shared about the difficulties people are facing today. More people who get married end up being divorced, people don't marry until they're in the 30s because of jobs, or not waste their effort in marrying at all. Nowadays, I ask myself, why do we have to suffer so much to earn a good living?

Sometimes I wish that I was born 10, or 20 years earlier, when things seem to be much simpler. Back in the days people spend more time hanging out and socialize instead of sitting in front of the computer all day. People seem to be much happier back then, don't they?

But we have to remember that God has chosen when and where I was born. He did so with a purpose and a meaningful plan.

Acts 17:26- And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings.
Also, God didn't create us so we could suffer in this world, but to enjoy it abundantly.
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

When I think again, I realized that I am very blessed to be here now. We live in a wealthy country with luxuries that we tend to neglect (some places still don't have access to clean water and people live next to factories) and it's sad that a lot of us still whine about not having the trendiest clothes or not getting good grades in school. Sure, some b/s complain about the world being more corrupt, but we have to realize it always has been corrupt in Biblical times as it is today. It's just that things are different because we are more educated with rules to prevent us from hurting ourselves and others. Also remember that spiritual blessings like the Bible and missionary trips are becoming more accessible in this generation. Hundreds of years ago very few people have access to the Truth because of burdens from the government/society, and they even get killed for doing so!

So, enjoy your blessings He gave you today, and rejoice!

-Karen

building 429 - Walls are coming down

2012-01-23T13:01:00.000-08:00

break through sisters! :)
LYRICS:

I'm where I don't wanna stay
Close enough but far away
There is just too much at stake
I don't want to miss the moment of embrace, yeah,

I don't wanna stand at an arm's length
From the hands that are reaching to save me
Right here right now His hands are reaching out
I don't wanna stand at an arm's length
From the hands that are reaching to hold me
Right here right now my walls are coming down

I keep waiting for the sign
But maybe I'm the one that's blind
Let my fear and faith collide
Cause I don't want to miss the reason I'm alive, yeah

I don't wanna stand at an arm's length
From the hands that are reaching to save me
Right here right now His hands are reaching out
I don't wanna stand at an arm's length
From the hands that are reaching to hold me
Right here right now my walls are coming down

And I spend all my life holding back, holding back
And now I wonder, what for? I won't hold back any more

I don't wanna stand at an arm's length
From the hands that are reaching to save me
Right here right now His hands are reaching out
I don't wanna stand at an arm's length
From the hands that are reaching to hold me
Right here right now my walls are coming down
[x2]

big dreams lead to big prayers which lead to big things (in the Lord)

2012-01-21T05:58:00.000-08:00

Why hello there :)

just wanted to briefly share what i gained from yesterday's gta tpt.
one thing was...
our value: we are worth more than an eternity to the Lord :) He redeemed us by His blood so that we can have eternity with Him. He'd rather do whatever it takes to gain us than to spend eternity without us. :)

The second thing was... if we DREAM BIG for Him, we should PRAY BIG, and this will lead to BIG THINGS HAPPENING :)
This is related to having the spiritual CAR (connect to Him, align vision to His, and respond to Him)
The core of the commission is for us to... LIVE WITH HIM. We were created in His image for one reason alone to be in this love fellowship with Him
let's live it out! :)

dream big for Him, pray about it and He will do great things :)
ps.. now I gotta go look for the book "The prayer of Jabez" and read 8-)

strive on!
-jennt

Count Your Blessings

2012-01-11T06:44:00.000-08:00

Couple months ago I got my brother an Xbox 360. Initially it was supposed to be a surprise gift for his graduation. I tried my best to hide it in my room...but if you've been in my room, you will know that my room is small and where could I honestly hide an Xbox in there? So he found out. And instead of an ecstatic 14 year old I was expecting, he went, "oh. An Xbox. Who plays with an Xbox anymore? This is garbage." And then I told him it was for him. His eyes opened a little wider, in my head I was counting down for the happy smile, three, two, one... and he replied with, "ew" and walked away.

I'm left standing there hurt and confused. I wanted to throw him the "Back-in-my-Day" speech. BACK IN MY DAY, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A GAME CONSOLE. BACK IN MY DAY WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A LAPTOP. BACK IN MY DAY...

I was so hurt. This level of ungratefulness was stabbing. I have an apathetic 14 year old brother, I thought. It's not my parent's fault that the age difference between my brother and I is so big, but sometimes I ask, why, Lord? So the Lord reminds me that the most important times of my childhood I get to spend alone with my parents and when I got lonely, I remember me, the 7 year-old Kay, praying for a little brother or sister. The prayer is still so clear in my mind, the Lord never let me forget it.

"God please give me a brother or sister--doesn't matter which one, I don't care...I just want someone to play with."

Cute, eh? He never let me forget it so that I will never be ungrateful for this blessing for a little brother. Sometimes I may be mad at him, and I remember going through an age where I was mad at my family members. I remember saying hurtful things to him (and to make it worse, at that time he was even younger than now), saying that I didn't want a brother anymore. Ouch, right? But the Lord puts this prayer in my memory so that I could remember why Anson is in my life. If I could go back in time and take back all that I said, I would. But I can't change the feelings he has for me right now. It's probably full of despise and loathe.

Trying to make up for my mistakes is difficult. My brother is hard to read. He complains I don't spend enough time with him, so I spend time with him. He then complains I'm interrupting him during his online gaming on the PC--so I ask if I could play with him on my laptop in the other room (he does that with his cousin when he comes over to visit. It's strange to see two kids on the laptop in two separate rooms playing online games together. Back in my day ...) and he says he doesn't want me to play online with him or I'll 'kill his high score'. And then when I give up, he starts complaining again that I never hang out with him. The level of confusion is too great for my head to bear. I don't remember being this complicated when I was 14 years old... or maybe I was.

There was a part of a sharing on Sunday that stuck in my mind. I'm having an epiphany right now. It went something like, "take your blessings the Lord gives you and use it". So I am reminded, have I counted my blessings? Sure my brother may be an ungrateful generation Y and I am an aging generation X--but he is a blessing to me. I cannot undo the things I have said, but I can change now to be a better role model for my brother. Hopefully he sees me as not just a public enemy, but as a human being with real memories of the past, with real emotions and feelings. That's how I saw my parents after my many years of accusations against them. And when I saw them in that light, I was more appreciative of them. Like one of my professors said, "you can never know a biography of a person without knowing the history of their ancestors."

So that also reminds me of Nehemiah. "Remember me, Oh my God." I find this theme coming up a lot in my week. May we continue to count our blessings, recognize them, and use them to glorify God.

flawed.

2012-01-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: Jennt is ranting and releasing stuff that's on her mind.. very emo.
Not for the faint of heart.

-------------------

|
|
|
V

jennt is flawed.
jennt needs to be considerate
jennt needs to be hard-working
jennt needs to stop complaining
jennt needs to stop talking so much
jennt needs to stop being obnoxious
jennt needs to mature up
jennt needs to ...
jennt is flawed.

but He still loves jennt...
stop accusing yourself,jennt.
jennt can confuse herself easily.
jennt can be frustrated with self.
jennt can beat self up
jennt will get nowhere by doing so.
regardless of how jennt is,
He loves jennt the same.

yes,
i talk to myself sometimes...
i judge myself sometimes...
jennt is emo,
but she will feel better soon.
=)

The Power of Giving (Part 2)

2011-12-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

Continuing from Part one of The Power of Giving Series.

In the last part, I mentioned about Christmas being a holiday of giving, rather than receiving. It's also a day that we remembered the true purpose of Christmas: Abba's gift of the Lord Jesus to us. Today, people enjoy Christmas because they have a time to give presents to loved ones (not necessarily romantically, but all kinds).

Unfortunately, a lot of us are struggling Scrooges, even as Christians. I happen to be one of them. Not being about to freely show love to others is one of my weaknesses, partly due to my difficulties establishing close friendships and my own selfishness and cynicism. I remember during one year in high school I would complain that everyone gets presents except for me, and because of that I feel sad and uncared for. It gets depressing in Christmas because everyone else around me was able to show each other love, and I would end up like this.

That's pretty sad, eh? But it's so precious that the Lord, who loves us all with His highest, unconditional love, gave Himself as the most precious gift to us. As members of Christ we have already received so much, unfortunately because of our unsatisfied nature of our flesh we don't realize that what we'ved gained by Him is outpouring. Also, even the small gifts we give to Him, whether it is a short prayer, or a song, or a non-believer, makes Him truly happy.

I bring in another example of a comic a sister in Scarborough shared years ago. She mentioned about a rich dog and his cat best friend. One Christmas the cat couldn't decide on a gift because his dog friend has everything, so for that day, he planned on giving him Nothing. Later, when the dog received the gift with an empty box, he asked the cat "How come you didn't give me anything for Christmas?" (not sure if this was part of the comic) The cat answered "Actually, I gave you Nothing!" At the end they both have a happy time.

I was touched by the story, and also gave me a little laugh. As one of the sisters pointed out in the comments, the reason why we worry about what to give is because we don't know if it will satisfy the people you give the present to. Sometimes material things we receive don't always satisfied us, but the most important thing is that the thought matters. We give because we have a heart of love, and that will always make the person satisfied.

I hope that in this Christmas I can retrieve my soft heart of God to change my ways and be a more giving person. I don't mind receiving Nothing this year, but whatever I gained, I should be satisfied. I also shouldn't be worried about what to give either, because there are more ways to give than to physically give them a present that they might not like.

And for all you Scrooges out there (you might be one of them!) Remember to soften your heart and pour our your love for the holidays, and the rest of your life, and until eternity! If you need help pray to the Lord that He will be sure to help. That is also a gift to Him too and He will gladly give back!

So that concludes the Power of Giving Series. Wish you all a happy, loving holiday!
-Karen

The Power of Giving (Part 1)

2011-12-22T13:45:00.000-08:00

Hello, sisters! How are you all doing?

It's that time of the year. Christmas, holiday break. I'm sure that a lot of you have already bought presents for your friends and loved ones. (except me -_-, because I'm still not sure what to buy and give yet) If you've given away your presents, that's good. If you don't, that's okay. Have you received anything yet? Did you receive anything that you didn't like? Are you upset or mad that you did?

Unfortunately in this world many people suffer from holiday blues because of false concepts like how Christmas is based on materialism, money, glitter, and self gain. People want to receive rather than give, and that's truly what makes them unhappy and unsatisfied.

I watched a movie on Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol and that movie has taught me important lessons. If you don't know the story already it's about an unsociable miser named Scrooge, who, after an encounter with three Christmas Spirits. Each one reveals to him about the past, the present, and the undesirable future if he remains a selfish, heartless cynic. Because of the foreseen consequences of his old ways of wanting to be rich and well educated rather than loving others, Scrooge changed and became a giving person.

This movie has reminded me that giving is important and it makes you a better person. If all we want is to get things for OUR own benefit and not for others, then we will eventually become like Scrooge and be unsatisfied, and unlovable. If we only desire our own needs of this flesh, then we would go nowhere. Also the Lord also encourages us to give and have a good heart, and that's what He wants from us. We need to be reminded that we are most like Him and that He has a heart of giving, and so can you.

Actually, the truth is that Christmas is supposed to be a happy holiday about giving with a generous heart. And why? That's because God chose this day 2000 years ago to gave us His Beloved Son to this earth, and he is so joyful that He did. It is truly Abba's greatest gift to us that we may have a living way back to Him. And this holiday we find this purpose to give back to the Lord by our Gospel Party. Whether or not you're inviting anyone, be joyful that whoever you can bring, they can truly be the most special gift to the Lord for His 'birthday'.

" I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

If we have a heart of love and giving, it truly makes God happy and He will bless you.

So, what if you're that kind of person who wants to change his/her Scroogely ways? Stay tuned for Part 2!

Women, Stop Submitting to Men

2011-12-15T13:51:00.000-08:00

Hello sisters,

This is an article by an online magazine, Relevant. It really draws out the difference of submitting to men, and submitting to your husband. I know the majority of us here are not married--but it is important to know the difference. Most women in society are still being treated with inferiority, or allowing themselves to fall into 'ownership' or submitting to men when going down a bad path of broken relationships.

The mistake of misunderstanding the verses in the Bible in some churches back in the ages brought a lot of wrong teachings--such as women are not allowed to pray out loud. I'm really glad that now we can find more truths in the Bible and live out to that being fulfilled in truth. Even in society before the women's movement, the misunderstanding that the woman's place is in the kitchen, or at home, is so degrading and untrue, thus sparking a generation of feminist who not only manage to "un-submit" themselves to men in general--but also to their husbands. A downward spiral of unfaithfulness, disregard to respect for one another in relationships, and painful divorces ensued.

This article is really encouraging for women everywhere. It makes the word "submit" seem less of an ownership word and gives more meaning toward a loyal and faithful relationship. Understanding in relationships go both ways, so it doesn't mean that when a wife finds herself in a broken and abusive relationship, she should suffer through it because she needs to submit. This is why the article points that "boyfriends" and "lovers" are not in the Biblical category of relationships. As quoted by the article, "There is no biblical category for “boyfriend” or “lover,” and we owe such designation no submission. In fact, to be submissive to her future husband, a woman must stand back and evaluate, with rigid scrutiny, “Is this the one who is to come, or is there another?” That requires an emotional and physical distance until there is a lifelong covenant made, until she stands before one who is her “own husband.”"

I hope you find this informative and inspirational. The link to the article can be found below.

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/features/27577-women-stop-submitting-to-men

Our God will fight for us - Nehemiah 4:20

2011-12-05T14:17:00.000-08:00

Hi sisters,

Don't know if you noticed, but i've been sick the entire past week and still a little bit today. But i am feeling a lot better after taking my benylin pill (albeit, had to be chopped down into little bits so that i can finally swallow them -.-)

anyways, i feel that this past week i've been suffering (physically) i felt so down in the dumps, it's insane how i can feel like that... i prayed a lot to God to help relieve me of my symptoms... and i guess i was impatient and began to drown in my own misery and thoughts... i kept the Lord at a distance, i guess you can say...

But today, i decided to open up the bible and continue where i left off in Nehemiah (PS. we're suppose to read it for reunion! :P)
so yea, when i read "Our God will fight for us", i was touched. Didn't fully meditate on it til later on.

Then i realised that the entire time, in our whole life, our Beloved has always been fighting for us.

We are not in this battle alone (though i admit, sometimes i feel like that) but He has always been there with me. I'm not fighting this battle of sickness alone, He is with me. When i feel like i can't do this anymore, He will stand up for me, to fight this battle for me. It's like He is that unquenchable flame within all of us. :)

So sisters, whatever we go through, may we always remember He is with us, He lives in us! When we are weak and we feel like giving up, when we find it too hard, just know He will fight for us. He will help us through, just go to Him :)

Like this week, for me, i feel like i've let the Lord down, our relationship-wise, cause like i said, i was drowning in my own misery and complaints.... but when i went back to Him to read His words, He reminded me, when i didn't seem to care as much about my relationship with Him, He cares. And He will fight for us (our relationship) He won't give in, He won't give us up :)
He loves us sooo muchh!! hehehe
^^ so blessed to have such a beautiful beloved!!! =D

I hope that we can always see how much He loves us, and how much we affect Him, to the point that He will always fight for us. He will lure us back to Him because He needs us most <3

(wow.. what a romantic/lovey dovey post) LOLLLLL Well, can't help it! Our Beloved is soo romantic and passionate ;)

love,
jennt

Here's a song for you :)
Lyrics:
You don't have to stay here, You can't deny
Every single heartaches, Written in your eyes
Memories that haunt you, Memories they got you
Looking for a place to hide, Oh, the anger,
Reaching like a cancer, Like a paralyzing fear.
Can you even hear me, When I whisper
Can you see Me through your tears?

Chorus:
Cuz I... I'm on your side, We'll win this fight,
So rest to-night, Cuz love is on the rise,
The darkness blinds, I'm on your side
Oh, I'm on your side.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/l/luminate/on_your_side.html ]
I know my love can shine through, Bitterness that hides you
Deep inside a world, With no hope
Letting go of history, We can start a journey
You don't have to do this alone, You're not alone
Chorus:

When you hope is lost, And the flames burn high
When your weakness fuels, What you feel inside
Oh, don't look back, Your past is back
You're still alive, You're still alive

Chorus:
Cuz I... I'm on your side, We'll win this fight
You can rest to-night, Cuz love is on the rise
The darkness blinds, I'm on your side
Oh, I'm on your side.

You can rest tonight
I'm on your side. Repeat.

A rant about my work environment

2011-12-03T09:40:00.000-08:00

There is one thing in my studio life that is bugging me a lot lately. Yes, I have a lot of projects that involve a lot of teamwork and model building. But what's really bothering me is the teammates I'm working with.
I don't want to put them down or anything, but the things they say really hurt my feelings. As someone who wishes her social skills were a lot better, they would treat me like an alien (no, not that kind, but alien as if someone unfamiliar to them.) Sure, I've been treated like that very often wherever I go or whoever I'm with, but there's one other thing that I'm not happy about.
Lately I've been noticing that a lot of people I'm surrounding with in studio would utter "Jesus Christ!" in frustration. Not only does it annoy me, but it breaks my heart. The Lord Jesus is my true beloved, and so is yours. How would you feel if a person says your lover's name in a hateful way? Not very nice, right? Not only does it break your hear but it also breaks the Lord's heart. I feel that people are becoming more harsh with everything. But it's so precious that because of the Lord we try to stay out of this heartless world. (yes, sorry if I'm being all cynical here)
I really hoped that by the end of the semester I would be around nice people that won't say things that hurt my Beloved.

Quick Post: Shopping with Mom

2011-12-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

As sisters, this may seem important to understand: the connection with your mom. Whether you knew her when you were young, or still know her today, this connection and relationship with this mother figure is important. She is the woman you may (or may not) become, depending on the choices you make. Whether you are close to her, almost as a friend, or feel distant as she is like a figure to be respected--this is all important.

When I think about the relationships with mothers, I think about Jesus's relationship with His earthly mother, Mary. How He loved her to make sure that even when He is gone, He's making sure she is taken care of. He knows and felt the pain that she went through seeing Him on the cross. Anyways, I won't go into detail of what I reflected upon that image, I am in the rush to go out.

But anyways, this post seems more appropriate for Mother's Day actually lol

As I said, I'm in a rush to leave the house. It's mother-daughter day with my mom! We're going shopping. I find that the only time I am ever close with my mom, is when we go shopping. Or is talking about shopping. She gets very excited. Personally, I am not a huge fan of the 'recreation'. Shopping isn't my forte. But when I'm shopping with my mom, I feel a connected bond with her. Yesterday, I found out why.

When my mom was a child, my grandma would take her out to go shopping downtown, mostly at Kensington Market for groceries. When they walk around Spadina, they occasionally went inside stores to look at clothes and fabrics. I know my grandma. She was a very busy woman. She in fact, was the breadwinner of the household. My grandpa didn't earn as much income as she did. Because of that, both my grandparents spent fairly little time with their daughters. All four of them. Not that my grandma didn't like children--she babysat at a part-time job. So whenever my grandma would take my mom out to go shopping, that may have been the only time for them to really bond. Plus, my grandma really likes shopping. As a child who wants her mother's affection, she will most likely adopt the same interest to connect.

Lately, I understand my mom more. I learned that when you understand a person's past more, you can sorta piece out their present state. I see my mom growing old exactly like my grandma one day. This makes me wonder, how will I turn out? Am I looking at my mom's life like a mirror, or am I look at her life a fascinating story I should tell my own pets one day--I mean, kids.

With love,

-Kay.

Letting Go

2011-11-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

Hello! This is Karen. It's my first post on this blog.

If you know me, I study Architecture at Ryerson. Currently I'm on my fourth, and final year. It is a very intense program. Practically everyone pulls an all nighter at least a few times per semester.

Recently my emotions have gone downhill, even to the point that it becomes in the way of school. I have broken down in tears during class at least twice this semester. Being a person with AS, I struggled to fit in since school, and I would feel very lonely because of the lack of close friendships I have in my life.

But this past week, approaching end-of-semester deadline where the workload is the most intense, I was so down that I couldn't focus on school and turned to the Lord and His truth. It was though I was going through a Paul episode where he was blinded by the Lord's light, not noticing the matters around him. Then I thought to myself: What should I do and treasure in my earthly life before His Second Coming? Will I be spiritually prepared? Will everything I do be meaningless in the future? How will the Lord reveal His heart to me in my life journey on this earth?

I feel so blessed that the Lord has spoken so much to me this week, and that I was able to draw closer to Him more than I could. Although my schedule is pretty packed for the upcoming weeks, I was still able to attend today's meeting and meet loving B/S, because I know that they are God's prepared family. And I do regret that I did not spent enough time with B/S because of my overindependence and social anxieties. And this week the Lord has told me to let go, from the stress and matters of this world, and seek Him.

I know that it gets stressful when you don't have much time to complete deadlines, if you trust the Lord and enjoy His delight, he will help you overcome difficulties in life.

Psalm 37:4- Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.

-Karen

Tattoos

2011-11-25T16:13:00.000-08:00

(Continuing this series of 'Protecting our Bodies for our Spirits')

I was walking downtown and noticed how society has changed, especially in the context of tattoos. When I was younger (I still am, btw), I remember a friend of mine got a tattoo on her arm. She figured it was "cool" and "rebellious", but others in our group of friends didn't think so and eventually stopped talking to her. Nowadays, a lot of people are accepting that tattooing is an art and not an act of rebellion. Some people I know have deeper meanings with each tattoo they have. Some of these tattoos are personal (i.e. to honour a dead family member), and for me to look at them and think, "what a mistake you've made" seems rather offensive--so I keep that thought to myself.

Despite tattoos now being slowly accepted by society, doesn't mean that as Christians we need to "keep up our image" by also thinking it is acceptable to get a tattoo. By not getting a tattoo isn't something Christians have made up just so that we can prove to society we are "good" not "bad". The arguments against tattooing are much more symbolic and spiritual (let alone a written commandment!), than it is just skin-deep. This also pointed out the symbolic meaning of wearing the cross. I realize that I wear a cross necklace. But why? And so I went deeper into understanding why we shouldn't really need to wear the cross around our necks to let others know we are Christian. In some other post, I will explain...

I was going to write a post about tattoos myself, but I didn't have the time to research and collect verses so I Googled for an article that was helpful in understanding why this trend isn't worth following. This article is useful and provides enough information without being boring, not in a condemning tone of voice to read in, and has relevant verses. I hope you find the time to read this, whether you may be thinking of tattooing or to use this to strengthen your foundation against it (from peer pressure and what-not). I highlighted what I think are some important points (if you don't have the time to read it fully, take a look at these).

It seems important these days to talk about our bodies as being something we should protect not because of just health issues, but because of the spiritual importance as well. May we honor this fact, and protect our bodies from temptation and wrong doings so we can pursue the Lord all together!

With love,
Kay (article is after the jump break--not included in this notification email.)
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Keeping Physical and Mental Health in Shape

2011-11-21T08:44:00.000-08:00

I shared this with a sister and thought I'd share this with you all too. Lately I've been under quite some stress, And because of this stress, hours of sleep were impossible to achieve. Socializing with friends also increased last week, and so eating out and drinking happened quite frequently. I also stopped exercising to make more time to study. And worst of all of these, I haven't kept a balanced diet; my diet consisted mostly of grains rather than vegetables, protein, and iron. So finally, yesterday, I felt as if my body was a broken down 95' Dodge Caravan. My liver felt sore, my head was pounding, my legs were unable to stand from all the walking I did on Saturday, and the need for sleep was weighing me down. This was greatly affecting my school work; with not enough sleep I wasn't able to pay attention in class--and most importantly, it was affecting how I would pursue the Lord!
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