I noticed recently that this site no longer connects to Instagram to show my latest posts. It isn’t a huge deal since there aren’t many posts to see, but it is irritating to find the plugin not working. Especially when I don’t have the patience to mess around trying to fix it.

Though I don’t have the patience for much of anything lately it seems.
Perhaps there have been too many changes in the past few months and I’m feeling off-kilter, or maybe we only have a finite amount of patience in life and mine is almost drained. Either way, I seem to find myself on the verge of snapping at people or just in general.

So is this necessary, no, but I do find it helpful to type out my thoughts and throw them into the ether, which means it serves a purpose.

How is the year over? How is 2025 just hours away? How does time go by so fast?

It has been a weird year all around, which if you’ve been following along, you know. I think, in truth, we all can agree it has been numerous weird years in a row.

Will 2025 be better? I doubt anyone could say with certainty, on a global scale it is all a bit terrifying. A scale that is hard to comprehend from our perspective. Which makes it all the more unnerving.

Instead, we focus on our own little lives since that is where we have a smidgen of control. Though it hasn’t felt that way for me for a while.

So what does that mean for my 2025? Will there be big changes? At my age there seems to be fewer of those available – work, life, it all starts to feel pretty set.

I did choose to switch jobs, a huge change for me. (It is still early days, but I’m hoping it is going well. Some days I think it is, others less so.)

Life? I do not foresee changes. I’m not going to pretend I’ll get healthier just because January rolled around again (frankly I’ll probably become less healthy, some one find me some cake!). I don’t think I’ll start any new hobbies. I’d like to be less stressed, though it is kind of my personality so that would be weird if I wasn’t.

At the end of the year, I guess we’ll just keep doing what we’re doing and hoping for the best. The sun rises and sets, at least that is something lovely to see.

I spent the first half trying to exit my old job, we went back and forth a bit with them trying to keep me on staff but in the end I just had to walk away.

In the latter half, I was overwhelmed and exhausted by the new job. It includes a longer commute (nothing really, but it changes your day when you have to add that time) and, frankly, an insane amount of paper, er, information to take in. My brain is trying to learn all new things at a fast pace, and by the end of two weeks, I am honestly wondering if I have made a poor choice in taking this new job.

I know this change is something I’ll get used to, and I’ll learn what I need to as time goes on, but after being in the same job for 20 years, I was very comfortable in my knowledge, and my job was, if not easy, straightforward.

As well as having to learn all this new information I also have to hang out with all new people, which may be more exhausting than the work itself. I’m an introvert at heart, and while I can extrovert when necessary, it drains so much energy. The combination of these factors is leaving me feeling fatigued by the end of the day and completely burned out by the end of the week. I’m looking forward to a time when things start to feel easy again but I fear that may take a while.

Is it too late to start my life over again as the heir to some immense generational wealth?

I think October passed me by so quickly because there were added stressors, elections (here in BC, though the one in the US was equally as stressful and ended in utter disappointment frankly) and I was offered a job that would change my career for the first time in almost two decades.

I tried to make something work with my current employer and the new offer, but in the end, we couldn’t reach an accord, so I’ll be moving on to this new challenge very soon.

I am both excited and worried about this. I hope I’m up to the challenge, and believe my experience from the last two decades in public practice accounting has given me the skills I need for the new job, but I still worry that perhaps I’m making the wrong choice. Maybe I’ll dislike the job or overestimate my ability and won’t be good at it. No one likes failure, but to do so at this point in my life would feel extra stressful.

Either way, I am trying to look at this as a new start to carry into the new year. Wish me luck!

Time is just ticking by, days on a calendar with nothing really changing enough to notice.

I’ve probably said all of this before which should give me cause for, well if not concern, then reason to pause and question that my life has become repetitive and dull.

Everything is still feeling…grumpy…but this cutie makes me smile.

And I do mean everything.

Normally, despite my cynical opinions, I am (secretly?) optimistic about things but lately (noticeable in previous posts) I’m disappointed, grumpy and there is nothing hidden about it.

I’m feeling negative about everything from work to the future to life in general.

This isn’t a great feeling. I’m working just to survive, no excitement just work/sleep/repeat and that current scenario doesn’t seem worth it frankly.

I’m not saying I want my life to be like something you’d associate with a movie montage but maybe a percentage of that would be nice.

A whole lot less stress would be amazing too.

Though I am wondering if those things are possible without significant changes. Changes I would never have considered in the past but now are looking quite tempting.

It might be time to start travelling a whole new road since I seem to have reached a dead end on this current one.

My hope that at this halfway point in the year life would feel more settled was dashed and it is the opposite, I’m feeling more stressed and unsettled than ever.

Things that I hoped would be resolved aren’t moving forward at all, and I would swear they have lost all forward momentum entirely.

I’m bored too, which isn’t helping, it’s like nothing is happening and I’m just stuck in a loop that I didn’t choose for myself.

I don’t care about anything.

And yet…I care that I don’t care, which essentially feels like caring about everything and that seems so much worse.

I have no idea how to change things, not without throwing my entire life into a blender, which while there is some appeal to that, I’ve worked really hard to get where I am, regardless if it isn’t feeling like where I’m supposed to be right now and don’t just want to blow up my life.

Cross your fingers, pray to your Gods/Fates/Universe of choice that the start of the second half of the year bring some reprieve. Who knows, it probably won’t help, but it sure would be nice…

I am still waiting to settle into my new routine, the new job and just life as it is now.

The last few years have been an upheaval for many and I’m no different. Family deaths, work changes, life stress and strain plus let’s do it all during a global pandemic!

It isn’t exactly a recipe for calm and serenity is it?

I’m giving June a chance to turn this year around, to kick the rest of 2024 onto a new path, preferably one without as many twists and turns – I could use a good straight away for a bit of a change.