Well, it’s that time…time for me to close up blog shop for a while so I can pack and prepare for the move into our new house (squee!).  I’ll be in and out on here, and I’ll continue with the Titus 2 series after the move, but I have some fabulous women lined up to keep you enjoying your morning coffee here regularly.  Please welcome them warmly.

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to Wendy, Kirk Cameron’s first wife (okay, so not really, but she was *this* close).  Enjoy!

When I was a kid, I stood in front of the television watching “Fame.” Actually I never stood. I danced around the room non-stop, trying desperately to imitate all the fancy leaps and turns. Another one of my childhood pastimes was making up dance routines to the theme song of “The Facts of Life.” I loved to perform and decided I wanted to be on the other side of that television. So I did what any nine year old would do – looked in the yellow pages and found a talent agency. I called and left a message on their answering machine. My mom was a bit shocked when she received a call back from the agent, “Your daughter left a message on our answering machine and we are calling to set up an interview with her.” My mom and dad were good sports and allowed me to drag them into the entertainment business.

I quickly landed my first national commercial, for the Milk National Advisory Board. I did numerous print jobs and appeared in over 20 commercials. But my acting opportunities were limited in San Francisco so we decided to get an agent in Los Angeles. My mom and I began driving (about a six hour drive) and/or flying down to LA for auditions. After about two years of a lot of callbacks and many rejections, I landed a starring role in the syndicated television show “The New Lassie.” With two weeks notice, I packed up and moved to Hollywood where I lived with friends of the family. My family came down and visited me several times a month and I flew home one or two weekends a month. We filmed the show at Universal Studios on Stage 19 and all around the back lot. I loved it. We filmed 48 episodes (two seasons) before the show was canceled.

During those Hollywood days, I also made guest appearances on “The Wonder Years” and “Growing Pains.” After three months of training, I performed The Russian Swing on “Circus of the Stars” alongside Mark Paul Gosselaar. I was involved in numerous charities and was the national teen spokesperson for Athletes and Entertainers for Kids. I had the opportunity to work with some talented actors and directors including Dee Wallace (who played my mom), Will Estes (who played my brother), Leonardo DiCaprio, Tony Dow (director), and Scott Baio (director).

I have such fond memories of my time spent in Hollywood. I was not a perfect kid, but I didn’t hop around at nightclubs, do drugs, rob dry cleaners or cuss out the paparazzi. And here’s why – Jesus. Prior to heading for Hollywood I made a decision to hand my life over to Jesus Christ. I didn’t grow up in a religious home, but we did go to church on holidays. I believed in God. I was interested in Him. One year I even went to a weekly CCD (Catechism) class after school. A part of me liked hearing about God, but a stronger part of me like the Ding-Dongs and Twinkies they offered at that shindig. Nevertheless seeds were planted.

Then I heard about my cousin, Shane. He had become a “born again Christian” and there was a buzz about it in the family. What was a “born again Christian?” I wondered. I asked some family members. They told me that it was weird. Jesus freaky. So I asked him and he told me it was simply about surrendering your life to Christ. Making Him Lord of your life. At that point I couldn’t quite wrap my young mind around it, but I wanted to. I wasn’t lonely or depressed. My life was not out of control. I was a “good” kid and at that point I was living out my dream of being an actress. I had much success and fulfillment. I didn’t feel empty and yet I still felt God calling me to something more. I knew there was something to this “having a relationship with God.” I began praying, “Lord, I want to invite you into my heart, into my life. But I still have to go to school and work and stuff like that.” I guess I kind of thought I would have to become a nun to truly surrender my life to God and become “born again.” After all, my cousin was a dancer in Vegas and when he became a Christian he gave that up. Would I have to quit taking my jazz classes? I just didn’t quite get it yet.

About a year later a family friend, Denise, shared her new found faith with me. She was a few years older than me and had great excitement when she talked about God’s work in her life. I remember her telling me, “I don’t know even how to explain it that well, but God has given me so much joy. You don’t have to stop taking dance classes (hooray!) or quit school (darn). You just recognize that Jesus has died for your sins. Ask for His forgiveness and tell Him you want to surrender your life to Him.” For some reason (God’s sovereignty), it made more sense to me this time. That night, alone in my bed, I prayed and asked Jesus to take over my life. There were no fireworks, no halos, no tears, no Twinkies. But God heard the prayer of a sincere and seeking 6^th grader and He has been my Rock ever since. That friend left me with a Bible and an Amy Grant tape. “Sing your praise to the Lord,
 Come on everybody,
 Stand up and sing … one more 
Hallelujah!” Anyone? Are you with me?

I began to go to a local church youth group with a friend from my carpool. My faith took off. I grew so much through that youth group and the various activities it provided. The foundation for my faith was laid and when I left my family and friends for Hollywood at fourteen years old my feet were planted on the ground and in the Lord.

While in Hollywood The Lord blessed me with some awesome brothers in Christ who I met at an Academy Awards party. They became like big brothers to me and connected me with “Media Fellowship International,” a ministry that reaches out to Hollywood. I got plugged into a Bible study and although I was by far the youngest one there, I found meaningful fellowship and was encouraged in my faith. God allowed me many opportunities to share my faith in Hollywood – on the set of Lassie, at charity events, when I won a Youth in Film award, with fans and at Media Fellowship outreaches. Before we taped “Growing Pains” I had the blessing of praying with Kirk Cameron and his future wife, Chelsea (although a few years prior I was convinced that I was supposed to be his future wife based on my connection with him via my Teen Beat magazine subscription). In the midst of the darkness, there is a place for Christians in Hollywood. Pray for them because they are few and far between.

I’m still in the entertainment business, but I don’t get paid (not in cash, anyway) and my audience is much smaller. Namely Elijah (my thoughtful, spiritual five year old), Lydia (my spirited three year old) and Jordis (my sweet and active fifteen month old). The episodes are different everyday and I don’t have to memorize any scripts, although I often find myself repeating the same lines over and over: “Eat over your plate. Stop picking your feet at the dinner table. Can you please just sit still and look at me when I am brushing your teeth? Are you going to obey or disobey? Why is there marker on your arm?” A different season of life. Walking with the same faithful God. I am blessed.

Wendy is a child of God, wife of Shiloh, mother of three, watcher of Formula One racing,  lover of baked goods, fan of UCLA sports and former child actress. She loves to blog at Hagen Hoopla about her funny and disastrous tales of motherhood as well as her experiences in Hollywood. In her free time (10-11pm), you can find Wendy working on her book Totally Desperate Mom: Keepin’ it Real in the Motherhood.  Wendy doesn’t sip warm cups of coffee, but as a mother of a 5, 3, and 1 year old there are mornings she wishes she did.  She does love iced blended mocha’s from The Coffee Bean, but unfortunately the closest one is an hour from her house….

You Are My Sunshine…

That’s my song, my favorite childhood song; my dad used to sing it to me.

Now I sing it to my babes, but I replace “sunshine” with their names.

Do you have a favorite childhood song?  Do your kiddos?

Would you tell me for free stuff?

Tommy Nelson, super-cool-Jesus-kiddo-stuff, has something fun up their sleeve this holiday season and they want you to be a part of it…

“One of our favorite things about kids is there lack of any inhibition whatsoever – especially when it comes to singing. Little ones will belt out their favorite song, or whatever pops into their head, whenever they feel it coming on. They have little regard for tone or pitch, but throw their whole hearts into every note! In honor of their fearless vocal stylings, Tommy Nelson is kicking off the Christmas Countdown with a week of singing.”

What’s up for grabs this week?

Each day this week Tommy Nelson is giving away a different Bible story and song book from the Grammy award-winning Stephen Elkins.  On Friday they are giving away a prize pack with an iPod and an Elkins full library!!!

To be entered into this giveaway…

• Leave a comment with your favorite childhood song

For extra entries…

• Follow Tommy Nelson on Twitter
• Become a Facebook Fan

Leave a separate comment for each thing you do!

The low-down: ReTweet @TommyNelson’s daily giveaways to be entered to win a different Elkin’s book with CDs every day this week. Comment here to enter the big Friday giveaway – an iPod and full Elkin’s library.

Let’s see if we can come up with 100 songs! Here’s a start:

1. You Are My Sunshine
2. Jesus Loves Me
3. The Barney Song
4. The songs Grandma always hums
5. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
6. The songs they make up with their friends
7. The Alphabet Song
8. Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes
9. Old MacDonald Had a Farm
10. Your Turn!

What was/is your favorite kid song/songs…

If you want to know where I’m coming from calling family worship a “royal waste of time,” then check out ‘The Joy of Family Worship‘ by R.C. Sproul Jr.  It completely changed my perspective of family worship.

And yes, we do worship together as a family…as an end, not a means.  :)

(This is not an affiliate link, I’m not getting paid and no one asked me to post this, I just want you to hear it.)

…here is what they might say:

My hands are small; please don’t expect perfection whenever I make my bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball.  My legs are short; please slow down so I can keep up with you.

My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely.  Don’t restrict me unnecessarily.

Housework will always be there.  I’m only little for a short time-please take time to explain things to me abou tthis wonderful world, and do so willingly.

My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs.  Don’t nag me all day long…treat me as you would like to be treated.

I am a special gift from God; please treasure me as God intended you to do, by holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and disciplining me in a loving manner.

I need your encouragment to grow.  Please go easy on the criticism; remember you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself.  Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes.  Then someday I’ll be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires of me.

Please don’t do things over for me.  Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure up to your expectations.  I know it’s hard, but please don’t try to compare me with my brother or my sister.

Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together.  Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids.  Besides, it’s a great way to show us kids that your marraige is very special.

-Unknown

I trust today’s post in the hands of my very talented and wise friend Kristi. Kristi has been married to her best friend for seven years. She is on a quest to love Christ more as she makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, kisses boo-boos, irons mountains of shirts, and cleans cheerios out of the vents. She loves to study and teach God’s Word and writes daily at Run the Earth, Watch the Sky. You can also find her on twitter.

************

If this is why I was created, why then is it so hard to fulfill? Why is it so hard to love my husband?

Sometimes I wonder what Adam and Eve’s relationship was like for that brief span of time before they rebelled against God. They were literally made for each other. Both of them awoke into consciousness in the presence of their Creator. They lived in a glorious world, in a beautiful garden designed for them by God. They had no sin, no selfishness, no baggage from their past. Perfect trust, perfect intimacy, perfect unity.

One choice to rebel against God shattered it all.

Shame. “…they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.” Genesis 3:7
Broken intimacy. “…the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God…” Genesis 3:8
Blame. “The man said, ‘The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.’” Genesis 3:12

Sin came crashing into the deepest recesses of their hearts. Sin came crashing into paradise.

Genesis 3:14-19 contains what is known as the curse – God’s judgments on the creation He loved in response to their rebellion. The curse brought physical death which mirrored the spiritual death Adam and Eve had already experienced. It brought thorns and thistles – frustration and futility in man’s God-given work. The woman would suffer increased pain in childbearing. Most pertinent to our discussion, though, is the second half of Genesis 3:16.

“Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”

That word “desire” is very interesting. The word in the Hebrew means “stretching out after, a yearning, a longing, a desire.” It is used only three times in the Old Testament- once in Song of Solomon, once here in Genesis 3:16, and once in Genesis 4:7. When we flip over to Genesis 4:7, we find this word used in the account of Cain killing his brother Abel. God tells him that “sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.” “Desire” here carries the idea of control - sin wants to control you, but you have to master it.

With that deeper understanding of “desire,” this verse becomes vivid to me. Because of the curse, I do not want to be my husband’s loving helper. I want to be my husband’s ruler. Women are constantly struggling to control their husbands, and history has played out the fact that men have responded many times by becoming oppressively dominant or weak and  passive.

Because of that painful history behind us, many of us struggle with the thought of being a loving helper. We struggle with it because we live in a broken world and we battle with our human nature that is bent toward sin. Because of the curse, we constantly find ourselves struggling to dominate. In addition, so many of us have been wounded by perversions of male headship – men who have fought back in the battle for domination and have done so by suppressing, abusing, or neglecting women.

Men are broken and sinful, too.

There is good news, though! God did not abandon us in our sin and brokenness.

One of the most commonly referred to passages regarding the topic of Biblical marriage is Ephesians 5:22-33. If you are familiar with this passage, you know that wives are told to submit to their husbands, and husbands are told to love their wives.

But that’s not all.

I love Ephesians 5:25-27.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”

Christ gave Himself up for us.
In order to sanctify us.
He cleanses us with the Word.
He is preparing us to be His holy and blameless bride.

Are you struggling to love your husband? Are you dealing with sin, shame, broken intimacy, and blame? Do you battle with your own desire to control your husband and resistance to the idea of being his helper?

Being sanctified and cleansed is a process. It is a process that necessitates that we sit in the presence of Jesus, that we let Him cleanse us with the pure water of His Word. Be real with Him. You aren’t able to do this alone.

Lord, cause me to love my husband.
Teach me what it looks like to submit to him out of reverence for You.
I struggle with fear, teach me to trust You.
I feel ashamed – cover me with your righteousness and cleanse me from my sin.
I am in the habit of blaming him – show me where I need to take responsibility, and teach me to forgive him.

I am broken and sinful – and so is my husband.

I have found that when I wrestle with my own deep fears, sin, and desire to control, that God grants me eyes of compassion for my husband. For when I am honest about my own failures, I am more likely to pray for him than to blame him. When I entrust my fears to God, I can be freed to love and help my husband rather than control him.

We still live in a broken world. We still wrestle with our sinful nature. But Jesus will wash away the guilt and shame, and we no longer need to cast blame. He can free us to love.

A new day dawns and offers a freshness…a candid beginning…a simple rejoice.

The blessings given therein are beautiful and abundant.  There eyes aglow, there laughter tickling, there little feet stomping down the hallway.  Life is good for them, and I am heart-filled to be the one in which they find their care.  My children – my family, they are a gift.

But sometimes, I forget…sometimes I have to remind myself to stop my self-flesh from craving more of the me that interferes with the them.  When I remember, I get the good more; more simple, more joy, more rest, more peace, more present.

Read the rest of this article at (in)courage today…

“…train the young women to love their husbands…” Titus 2:4

Marriage is hard, because being a sinner and loving a sinner is hard.  Writing this post is hard because I know that I fail and fall way short when it comes to loving my husband.

But it is the first command in Titus 2:4…it is listed before loving my children, so I know it is important, and therefore I must persevere.

Loving my husband.

So how can I love my husband well?

I looked up love in relation to this passage, and you know what I found?  This is the type of love (Philos) that is a friendly love – a companionship love.

I am to be my husband’s companion…his beloved companion.

It is why I was created.

“But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him…And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man…”  Genesis 2:20,22

I am my husband’s helper-completer.

He was not made for me, I was made for him.  So there it is, my first clue in loving him well – actively being his helper and companion, seeking and supporting his vision as I complete him as a person and in his work.

As his beloved companion, I am committed to giving myself, heart, mind, and body, to him and no other man.  “…your husband is the one to whom your exclusive, intimate fellowship and sexual responses belong.”  Barbara Mouser, Five Aspects of Woman

If this is why I was created, why then is it so hard to fulfill?  Why is it so hard to love my husband?

Friday…the curse.

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Now, I need your advice/thoughts…

I am thinking about joining a new ad network, but I want your thoughts as my readers.  The ad would be one of those big long ones on the sidebar – it would be the first thing you see…the welcome would go below it.

I am having a hard time deciding.  I like the idea of some extra bucks, plus the ad network is going to be very exclusive, which does give my blog more credibility when it comes to leveraging more opportunities.  Those are the upsides…the downsides are that it is a big ad that takes away some of the pretty on my blog.  Big ads can also be kind of obnoxious looking.

Even though I would still write whether I had a significant readership or not, I know I wouldn’t have the ability to make any money on ads if it weren’t for your continued support, so your thoughts matter to me.

Yay or nay on the ad network?

(More Titus tomorrow)

I was going to write today on loving our husbands, but there is something in Titus 2:4 that needs to be examined closer…

“…so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands…”(NASB)

“Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands…” (NIV)

“So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands…” (AMP)

The Greek verb here translated “train” means “to make sane or sober of mind, to moderate, to discipline.” – Marvin Vincent, Word Studies in the New Testament

A little word, easily overlooked, but with abundant meaning.  Train.

Are you disciplined?

Are you of a sober mind?

Are you trainable?

“Now then, my sons, listen to me;
blessed are those who keep my ways.

Listen to my instruction and be wise;
do not ignore it.

Blessed is the man who listens to me,
watching daily at my doors,
waiting at my doorway.

For whoever finds me finds life
and receives favor from the LORD.

But whoever fails to find me harms himself;
all who hate me love death.”  Proverbs 8:32-36

I fear going further in this study because I know that once the Lord lifts the veil from our eyes we can never return it.  Once our eyes are opened life gets seemingly more complicated, because we have to then make choices, hard choices.  Conviction will take hold, or perhaps we will run, either way, we must respond.  Because ultimately it comes down to this: dying…to ourselves.

Think about this today, about what it means to be trainable, what it means to lay down our own lives and pick up counter worldly ones.  A Jesus life.

It is a hard, blessed path.  Don’t take it lightly.

Are you prepared to die?

Titus 2: 3-5, Uncovering the Beauty – An Outline

Uncovering the Beauty – The Titus 2 Older Woman

Photo Credit: The Parable of The Wise and Foolish Virgins

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Why do you worship?