Psychotic Reaction

To Book Sign or Not to Book Sign

2009-05-25T05:28:00.001-06:00

I believe it was Jodi Picoult who once said that while book signings benefit certain authors, there are other authors who it actually hurts. I believe I would fall into the second category. I'm extremely shy by nature (which is the reason I used to get seriously smashed at any kind of social event) and my voice has a tendency to shake when I get too nervous. Also, I'm not much to look at, so I don't like having my picture taken.

Sometime this summer I'm signed up to do a "blog tour." Even that makes me kind of nervous. I've been so tired for such a long time and under so much stress that I don't know if I can muster what it takes to sound excited about my project. I hope I can pull it from somewhere. There's nothing like having people say "well, she doesn't sound very intense about what she's doing, why should we be?"

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Crown of Creation Chats

2009-04-17T08:47:00.001-06:00

http://www.friendfeed.com/…f-creation

Two Crown of Creation meetings planned. Sunday April 26 from 6-7 PM and Monday April 27 from 5-6 PM. Both times are US Mountain (UTC-7)

The Crown of Creation is a chat room for creative spirits. Discussions of favorite authors/artists/movies, our creative processes, busting through writers' block, whatever floats your artistic boat!

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Meet Me in the Rest Room

2009-04-17T08:40:00.001-06:00

http://www.friendfeed.com/…-rest-room

Chat planned for Tuesday April 21 from 5-6 PM US Mountain Time. (UTC-7)

The Rest Room is a general topics chat room. You can bring up anything you want, from the book to affiliate marketing to ??? It's a free-for-all! The only rule is courtesy.

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Psychotic Reaction

2009-03-17T04:28:00.001-06:00

just posted "Jesus Hates Zombies/Lincoln Hates Werewolves Second Printing" :

http://ping.fm/QeRKu

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Psychotic Reaction

2009-03-15T21:05:00.001-06:00

http://ping.fm/i5mrU

I will be in the Haunted Outhouse for the next hour if anyone cares to join me.

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Psychotic Reaction

2009-03-14T19:00:00.001-06:00

http://ping.fm/i5mrU Chat room for open minded types interested in the paranormal. Open 1hr tomorrow 6 PM MST.

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Psychotic Reaction

2009-02-25T14:27:00.001-07:00

http://ping.fm/3fKnW Got something interesting and informative to say? Trade your intelligence for back links at Qassia!

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Great Modern Comedy Performers

2009-02-01T18:34:00.001-07:00

In my next life I want to be #Anna Faris. She gets to play such fun parts.

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Carrie: The Remake

2009-01-09T16:31:00.003-07:00

This helpful list of the differences between the 1976 Brian DePalma film and the 2002 remake was compiled by Ricky says Hi at IMDB.
I just learned that the 2002 film was supposed to be a pilot for a series wherein Carrie was a counselor helping young people who had telekinesis. The series never went further than the pilot. It explains why Carrie survives at the end. The moment in the 1976 film when Sue dreams of visiting Carrie's grave and Carrie's hand reaches out and grabs Sue's ankle was one that made me jump out of my seat when I first saw the movie in 1978. It was the late night Halloween horror movie and I sneaked up and watched with the sound turned way down so my parents wouldn't catch me. When that hand reached up, they almost caught me. I damn near had a coronary and had to slap my hand over my mouth to stop myself from screaming. When the TV was turned off everything was pitch black. I was looking over my shoulder every few seconds for the blood-stained Carrie to come out of the shadows.
To be honest, it has been years since I read Carrie and I don't have time to re-read it right now. Several people have noted that except for Carrie surviving, the remake was more true to the book than the '76 movie, and for the time being, I'll take their word for it.
I was always able to relate to Carrie. No, my mother wasn't a religious zealot. My parents were very religious (Catholic) but my mother sat me down and told me what to expect as far as my period was concerned (except she didn't tell me about the fucking cramps from hell) so I didn't have an anxiety attack when it came. Fortunately I didn't get my first one at school. It was a weekend and I was at home. And I very quickly learned about the cramps from hell.
What I was able to relate to was the maltreatment by the fucking assholes that Carrie went to school with. Partway through high school I had become a hard case with a "fuck with me and you'll get a boot to the kneecap" attitude. But in junior high I was still a sweet kid that couldn't understand why people were so mean to me. I was awkward as hell. I grew to all but an inch of my full height by the time I was twelve. I was clumsy because of my suddenly long legs--never quite got over the clumsy part--heh! I realize now that my bipolar disorder onset with puberty. I made my first suicide attempt at 14, swallowing a bottle of aspirin. I started cutting myself in secret.
Not only were my hormones out of control, so was the oil that seemed to cover every square inch of my body. I had tremendously oily skin. I washed my hair every day, but it still looked oily. I didn't have the worst case of acne, but I was very self-conscious about what I did have. And to add insult to injury, I had to wear that horrible, horrible Martian headgear to correct for my severe buck teeth. If ever I wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there, junior high was the time. And to make matters worse, there were assholes to the left and assholes to the right.
A fine example of what I endured at the hands of these fuckers comes in these two anecdotes.
I had a hell of a time with the people in math class picking on me. They'd say things like "are you playing with yourself?" and "I bet you'd play with your tits if you had any." The teacher did nothing. To this day that blows me away. If I'd ever heard such remarks from one student to another, as a teacher, I would have hauled the offenders to the principal's office toot sweet, recommending suspension. One day the other students started acting nice and telling me that one of the boys, "Grant," wanted to take me out. I refused to believe them until this had gone on for about a week, them telling me that "Grant" really liked me but was just shy. Finally I said "all right," and "Grant" proceeded to say that he'd rather die than go out with an ugly thing like me. After that I never trusted it again when a guy said he wanted to go out with me. Turns out that there were some that were actually interested but I always rebuffed them with smart ass remarks. I wish impotence, anal fissures, and being caught in a dungeon with a dominatrix on "Grant" and his chums. That was a really shitty thing to do. The only one I give a pass to is "Tim," who after a couple of years started acting more mature and actually behaved like a decent guy, saying "hey, howya doing?" when he'd see me and not dogging me when others did. We never became great friends or anything, but there was peace between us.
The other incident had to do with a few horrible, bitchy girls. One of them I'll call "Buffy" and the other I'll call "Gwen." I actually came to understand later that "Gwen's" problem was jealousy of a sort. "Gwen" was an easy girl, one might say. She must have lost her virginity at around age 12. That's a problem. But at the time I didn't realize it. All I knew was that I was going to be friends with "Gwen" anyway, and we were friends for a while. Until the day that "Gwen" asked me if I was a virgin. Like most 14 year olds (at least I think most of us still were) I said I was. "Gwen" then asked if I was "some kind of a prude." I said no, I just hadn't met the right boy yet. She sneered at my idea of "meeting the right boy" and from there on out proceeded to make my life miserable. She teamed up with "Buffy," who was by far the bigger bitch. "Buffy" made my life hell in a variety of ways, but the most humiliating one was writing a note that was ostensibly from the art teacher's assistant and sticking it in my locker. It said all kinds of disgusting, explicitly sexual things. I was horrified and hysterical. I knew that "Mr. Powell" had not written the note and I was pretty sure I knew who had. I went to the principal's office and ratted out "Buffy" and her cohorts. "Buffy" was suspended for a week and had several special privileges that had been granted her as an "outstanding student" removed. But when she returned my life became an even greater hell and remained so until well into my first year in high school. By the time the second year rolled around I had a reputation as a lot of different things. Hard ass. Satan worshipper. (Came from wearing metal band t-shirts, and I rolled with it. I was actually still a devout Catholic at the time--just a devout Catholic that loved heavy metal. I didn't dabble in the dark arts until I was 16--but that's a story for another time.) Slut. (Of course--I was still a virgin, actually, unless you count untoward acts by pervy relatives at a very young age. But I'd had the 'slut' reputation since junior high when the unholy bitches in my life covered me in proverbial pig's blood by spreading the rumor that I had eight abortions by the time I was fourteen. I didn't even know what a blow job was, for cryin' in a bucket! I thought it was blowing in someone's ear!)
Watching Carrie always brings back memories of those awful years. The best years of your life, my ass. I couldn't wait to get out of that Peyton Place that was my school experience.
Those years do, however, affect a person long after they've gone away from the site of the brutality.
I once read in Readers' Digest where a woman who was seventy-some years old was recalling how she was not a very popular child. One Valentine's day all the other students exchanged bunches of Valentines with each other. She had not received a single one. At the end of the day when she got home, she opened her lunch pail and found a card. She was thrilled until she opened it, and found one of those cruel anti-valentines that were popular in the early part of the twentieth century. She said that the memory of that card still brought tears to her eyes, and here she was in the twilight of her life. This story appeared more than twenty years ago. This lady is probably gone to her reward by now. But tears come to my eyes for her.
Our actions affect people more than we know. That's the lesson of Carrie, and a lesson we could all do well to learn.

My New Social Network

2008-12-05T02:13:00.001-07:00

Are you the open-minded sort? Have you ever been described as left of center? Are you possibly creative, potentially psychic, or maybe just psycho? Then come join my new fellowship! I created it especially for freaks like you and me.

Visit New Strange World

Reclusive AND Hermity

2008-11-05T03:43:00.001-07:00

What Fantasy Archetype Are you?

The Weird Guy In The Hut In The Swamp
You are The Weird guy In the Hut In the Swamp. In addition to talking funny, you're like Tom Bombadil (LoTR), The Lady of the Lake (Arthurian Legend), Yoda (Star Wars), The Beavers (Narnia), Old Bailey (Neverwhere), Hagrid (Harry Potter) and Adie (Wizard's First Rule). you are weird and strange. You isolated yourself from the world among your own private powers/library/artifacts. You usually have something important to teach or give the Unlikely Hero that will enable him to defeat the Totally Wicked Villain. When he comes, remember that young people are impatient and will never see the connection between their goals and crotchety old people.

Myspace Quizzes

1986 called, they want their hair back

2008-10-29T01:27:00.002-06:00

What is the symbol of your nightmares

vampire
you could have an illness thAt will kill you painfully and slowly you will fell blood draing from your body

Pain-Gore-Death Quizzes

All right, why did they have to send the B movie vampire wench? Seeing that hovering over me would both scare and disappoint. I want the hot dude vampire from Fright Night! If I'm going to be turned into an Undead, I might as well get something good first.

So Old It Feels New

2008-10-03T22:26:00.004-06:00

Old time horror radio shows are back from the grave on horror.fm

I was a bit of an oddity in that there was no television in my house until I was 12 years old. I watched television at friends' houses. My parents bought records (those big black vinyl CD's, for you young whippersnappers) with the old radio programs on them, and there was a station that had the Old Time Radio Hour.

The great thing about these spoken word programs is that your own imagination often conjures the most terrifying images. For instance, while the television production of The Stand was pretty true to the story, and while Jamey Sheridan did a fantastic job as Randall Flagg, nothing conjured more looking around corners and racing to the bathroom than Stephen King's written descriptions of the Walking Dude Without A Face. Likewise, the written description of the undead Gage Creed in Pet Semetary was far more terrifying than the movie version, although the little fellow playing the part did a fine job. There was just no way that the special effects department, however good a job they did, could match my imagination.

One movie that managed to strike terror into my brain on a visual level was the original Alien. I was seeing the alien in the shadows for years! Alien was frightening both visually and psychologically. While Aliens was more ass-kicking than scary, it is still one of my all-time favorite movies. The following two Aliens movies, I'm sorry to say, are from a different universe--one that sucks. I did not care for them at all.

I've had this dream to have a revival movie house that plays the classics on the big screen. I certainly don't know how I'd fund it, but it would be great to be sitting in a dark theatre getting the hell scared out of me by the Alien again, or watching the big battle cruiser in the original Star Wars pass over the screen and feel almost like it was passing through the theatre. Some things just kick way more ass on the big screen!

Poison Ivy II: Lily

2008-08-06T13:10:00.004-06:00

Break out the calamine lotion! This film will make you itch--to watch something that doesn't suck.

I can assure you that my pen name was NOT inspired by this stinker of a film. It was actually inspired by the fact that my co-author called me Lily when he first met me, and the Strange part is obvious. As to the film, the church should canonize it because it actually proves that miracles do happen. The fact that Alyssa Milano was ever given a legitimate acting job again after appearing in this travesty is all the proof you could ever need.
The premise of this film is based around art geek Lily finding the diary of Ivy from the first Poison Ivy film and deciding that she wants to become like her, because acting like a psychotic slut is the way to get great things in life, such as STD's. One of her instructors takes an interest in her above and beyond the call of teaching her how to paint like Bob Ross. This leads to a lot of gratuitous sex and an apparent tragedy. This seeming tragedy, however, is actually proof that there is indeed a benevolent god.
When the professor's young daughter walks in on Pops trying to get into Lily's pants while Moms is getting plastered right in the next room, she cannot bear the thought that her father is in fact a lecherous self-absorbed ass rather than simply a pompous self-absorbed ass. The unhappy child wanders out into the night and is struck by a car. In a moment of horror we see her teddy bear lying on the asphalt. But instead of being sad, we should all take a moment and rejoice for this sweet and innocent youngster being released from this ghastly excuse for a movie.
God's newest angel's nutball of a father does not see the glory in his daughter's release from Celluloid Hell, and instead chooses to blame Lily for the untimely demise of his child, because after all, it isn't as if he was behaving like a conscience-impaired skank too. But because God does not want conscience-impaired skanks dirtying up his Heaven, Lily is allowed to escape the clutches of Senor Psychopath, and tries to patch things up with her boyfriend. Not surprisingly, said boyfriend has had enough of both Lily and this movie and rides off into the sunset on his motorcycle, hopefully to better things, such as working at the local 7-11 or cleaning toilets.
(Fortunately, it would seem that being in this stinker did not entirely destroy actor Jonathan Schaech's career. Here is a list of credits for him at Wikipedia.)
To make a bad thing worse, if that's possible, add garish makekup and a hideous soundtrack. This is truly a cringeworthy film, yet, horrifyingly, not the worst I've ever seen.
I need to come up with a rating system. Stars have been done. Tomatoes have been done. But I don't think that undead zombie turkeys have been done. This film rates two and a half out of five possible undead zombie turkeys. If you ever saw Return of the Living Dead, you will recall that zombie half-animals are really disturbing. It was the soundtrack of this movie and the cheesy death scene of the child obviously beloved by a benevolent god that added the half turkey to the rating. I do hope that the film-makers would be proud!

Words from Heaven

2008-08-03T20:38:00.002-06:00

This poem is by a woman named Maria aka Dobro whom I never knew in life. She recently passed away. She endured bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder. She spoke from the heart and it is apparent to me that she had a beautiful soul. Her work may not deserve to be in my garden of horrors because it is too beautiful, but I want it here.

Friday, July 27, 2007
Prince Alfred
While your'e there eating your Big Mac
Sipping your Coke and munching on cookies
We'll come alongside to relieve the pain
Of the loneliness that comes from being
Different
Disabled
Broken

Strength and nobility arise from your soul.
Laughter is a part of your everyday.
The will to live has not been damaged
Although your body has
Shine on
Alfred
Shine on

Read more by Maria here

Satan's School for Girls

2008-05-14T03:41:00.004-06:00

While not as downright dreadful as I anticipated, this 1973 made-for-TV movie definitly rates a Double Cheesy Deluxe. When doe-eyed Nancy Drew-esque Elizabeth's sister Martha hangs herself in Elizabeth's apartment, Elizabeth is convinced that Martha's death was not actually suicide but murder and decides to investigate the school that Elizabeth was attending.

During art class, Elizabeth views a painting of her dead sister which was created by a nervous girl named Debbie. The obviously horrified expression on Martha's face lends extra cheesiness to the overall effect of the movie, as does Debbie's exaggerated jittery behavior.

Crazy Professor Delacroix the science teacher's behavior leads you to believe that he may be behind the deaths. He picks on Debbie and blathers on about mind control. But he ends up being a red herring when he meets his demise at the hands of several of the students, who then pack his body into Elizabeth's car.

In the end, it's rather obvious who Satan actually is. It's always the ones that are too good to be true.

This flick is chock-full of lightning bursts, people (mostly Elizabeth) acting appropriately stupid as they explore potentally hazardous places alone, and predictable dialog. Other than the having to sell your soul to Satan part, I think I might have enjoyed going to that school. The students and faculty both seem to always be finding excuses to tip back one or more drinks. Party on!

If cheesy horror flicks are your thing, you can watch this and other B movies anytime at B-movies.com

This site also features cheesy sci-fi, westerns and Kung Fu flicks. Have fun!

Apocalyptic Postulations

2008-03-18T13:45:00.004-06:00

I watched the National Geographic show Apocalypse: Population Zero. I have some sort of morbid need to watch these disaster shows where comets, super-volcanos, solar radiation and all matter of devastation is wreaked upon the earth. Some days I think "shit, I hope that doesn't happen, but there ain't a whole lot I could do if it did" and other times I think "bring it the fuck on--humanity sucks and I've had enough already!"

In Aftermath: Population Zero, the human race suddenly and very neatly and cleanly disappears. Although I enjoyed watching the postulations of disaster stemming from nuclear power plants and dams breaking down, and the eventual rebirth of nature that came afterwards, I found this approach to be a bit of a cop-out. Barring there actually being space aliens that for some reason would WANT to bring humans to their home world (or maybe drop them off on their enemy's home world so we could fuck it up) it would be more realistic to depict a scenario wherein some sort of super-microbe or virus wipes out the human race. This would mean that there would be rotting corpses lying around. Aside from the potential for a cool zombie movie to rise from this idea, it would be much more realistic. Come on, humans would never be so polite as to simply wink out of existence a la Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda, leaving no messy, smelly, bacteria factory of a corpse to lie there festering and contaminating the world! I guess the filmmakers didn't want to deal with such ugly realities as starving dogs eating the corpses. They preferred to confine themselves to depicting the breakdown of humanity's constructs and the eventual triumph of nature over her oppressors. Which is cool. After all, it's their film, they can dowhuttheylike.

Personally, I never would have passed up the chance to give a good, ghoulish scenario of rotting corpses littering the landscape. But that's just me.

The special effects were stellar and the finished product was very polished. All in all if disaster scenarios float your boat, then Aftermath is worth a watch.

Lily's Psychotic Reaction to: The Demon Seed

2008-01-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

What do Cocoa Krispies and the Demon Seed have in common? Read on and find out!

*For those who have never seen the Demon Seed, there are spoilers.*

When I was twelve years old, I ate Cocoa Krispies for the first time at wilderness camp. My parents wouldn't buy such cereals, so I vowed that when I was an adult I would buy Cocoa Krispies and eat them for breakfast any time I pleased.
When I was thirteen years old, I saw the movie "The Demon Seed." My assessment was "Cool! Scary! Intense!" I thought it was great.
At the age of nineteen I was living away from my parents. I bought my first box of Cocoa Krispies. I poured myself a bowl, expecting the intense chocolatey goodness that I had experienced at age 12. But my taste buds had matured. I now craved a different chocolate sensation, such as the one present in chocolate mousse, or at least a Hershey bar. I don't think I even finished my box of Cocoa Krispies before it went stale. It was kind of like finding out that there was no Santa Claus.
I forgot all about the Demon Seed until, at nearly 43 years of age, I had fallen asleep on the couch while the Chiller channel was on. For some people this would surely lead to nightmares, but the truth is that most horror movies don't scare me, particularly since I started writing the genre myself. Watching what unfolded before me, my reaction was "What the fuck? This is totally stupid!" But there was something familiar about that stupidity. I hit the "Info" button on the remote. The Demon Seed--I remembered that title from somewhere. I reached into the fog of my mind and accessed that dark, long-ago past when I was a dumb, naive kid who wanted to be an actress and star in quality movies like the Demon Seed. I was suddenly very glad to be a crotchety old bat--who would still get a kick out of acting a script like that, but because it was bad, not because it was good. It's a real testament to my lack of taste in my adolescence that I actually thought this was a good movie.
Clear the cobwebs from your own minds and take a trip down memory lane with me.
The Demon Seed was based on a book written by Dean Koontz. It stars Fritz Weaver as Dr. Alex Harris, the creator of the Proteus IV, an artificial intelligence system that he has installed in his home. His wife, Susan, (played by Julie Christie) wants a divorce because Alex is married to his work, and their relationship has been strained since their daughter died of leukemia. As well as taking care of all sorts of household tasks, the Proteus is working on a cure for leukemia.
Dr. Harris moves out of the house, leaving Susan alone in the house with the Proteus. The Proteus is shut down but manages to start up again. It refuses to allow Susan to leave the house. When she tries to get out, it delivers an electric shock via the doorknob, knocking her unconscious. It carries Susan to the bed using a mobile robot arm. When she regains consciousness, to her horror, the machine is giving her a complete physical exam. It explains that it is going to impregnate her and proceeds to do so.
Dr. Harris' colleague Walter (played by Gerrit Graham) realizes that something is wrong. He manages to break into the Harris' house. The Proteus does away with him, enveloping him in something that resembles a 20-sided gaming dice.
After 28 days, Susan delivers the offspring, which turns out to be a combination of the genes of the Harris' daughter and the Proteus' structural code. The movie ends with the little monster croaking "I'm alive!"

The taglines for the movie show the dated perspective on rape.

Never was a woman violated so profanely... Never was a woman subjected to inhuman love like this... Never was a woman prepared for a more perverse destiny...

Julie Christie carries the "Demon Seed" Fear for Her.

Let's hope, at any rate, that equating rape with "love" in any sense of the word is a dated perspective.

On the positive side, there are metaphors in The Demon Seed for the way women might perceive the lives they were supposed to live. Women were expected to have children (be incubators to babies) and to quite possibly give up their own aspirations for their husbands and children (Susan's entrapment in the house.) More and more women were seeing these edicts as enslaving, not allowing them their own choice in the matter. As well, there was more of a trend, though it was still in its infancy, towards seeing rape as an act of violence towards the victim rather than an act of lust on the part of the perpetrator, and therefore somehow excusable and not a "real" crime. There is no lust on the part of the Proteus, save to preserve itself in its offspring. It's actions are more akin to a really nasty gynecological exam than forced sex. I think most women will know what I'm talking about. No woman likes these damn exams and if any of y'all do, you need to be talking to your shrink, not to me.
Thus, though many things about the Demon Seed as a movie are ridiculous, the story behind the Demon Seed does have redeeming value.

If you like cheesy 70's era sci-fi/horror flicks, you'll want the Demon Seed in your collection.

Shrinking Pains?

2007-12-13T05:48:00.000-07:00

The Fearsome Blog Blob strikes!

(Say that ten times fast--I triple dog dare ya!)

Or, as my spirit guides lovingly screamed at me: "SIMPLIFY, SHITHEAD!!!"

In the interest of de-cluttering (if not my house, at least my cyber-house) the long-dormant Movie Review Blog written under the Cheesemeister screen name has been absorbed by this blog like the Blog Blob absorbing other smaller and more helpless blogs. Since the original intent of this blog was to share stories and poems that inspired me, I'm wondering if I should also absorb the long-neglected Mythos Encyclopedia. Has the Mythos Encyclopedia starved to death or is it merely dormant? Does it still serve a purpose? I'd enjoy finding another Mythos geek or two who could help me maintain it, so I could triumphantly cry "IT'S ALIVE!!!!"

If you know anybody fitting that description, have them email lilystrange@q.com, or post a comment for me here.

Thanks to everyone who's subscribed to this and any of my other blogs. I really do appreciate it. I don't really understand how Feedburner works because I'm kind of a dunce when it comes to that stuff, but I do think it's pretty cool!

Blessings,

Lily

Technorati Ranking

2007-12-10T02:26:00.000-07:00

According to Technorati, this is the most popular of my blogs, with a ranking of a blazing 1,644,723. Booyah! Eat your heart out!

Honestly, I'm not sure why this blog ranks best. I don't update it all that often. I would think the Lost Beneath the Surface blog would have the best rating but it ranks a puny 2,124,856. And Creative Crabbing is crawling along at the back of the pack like a quadruple amputee turtle with its ranking of 8,911,336.

I really don't understand Technorati, but supposedly being listed on it will improve my popularity, get me a date with Keanu Reeves, and make everybody love me. So I'm listing my blogs on it and waiting for the wave of success, prosperity and making everybody in the world totally jealous and wishing they were me!

(For those that don't recognize sarcasm, that was a joke. It happens so often that people take me seriously when I'm joking that I need to come up with some sort of easily insertable graphic code that makes a little arrow that says JOKING!)

Don't you just wish you were as hot, cool and amazing as me, #1,644,723! Take that, #1,644,724!

Couldn't Agree More

2007-11-29T03:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Ambrose Bierce and Doug for these gems. I stole the post directly from Doug. I hope he doesn't mind.

EXISTENCE, n.

A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,
Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:
From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge
Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"

2007 Update: Rusted eternity.

"To be or not to be?" asked he,
Answered the Danish ghosts' lobby:
"Living is without holiday,
To the dead being is more of a hobby."

Get To Know Your Beloved Author

2007-11-26T01:30:00.000-07:00

I do these damn things when I can't think of anything else to do. I stole this from a friend named Austin. You can steal it from me if you want.

• Full Name (or screen name) - Lily Strange. My real name is a beeg seeecret.

• Birthdate: February 1965
• Birthplace: Colorado
• Current Residence: USA
• Eye Color: Green
• Hair Color: It's actually gray but it's been dyed burgundy. It's growing out right now.
• Righty or Lefty: righty.

—————–DESCRIBE——————
• The Clothes you wore today: They are very sexy. Oatmeal sweats, white t-shirt with the logo of the place where I work. Too hot, Baby!
• The shoes you wore today: Brown crocs
• Your fears: I am a walking collection of phobias.

—————–WHAT IS——————
• Your most overused phrase: "I hate Google."

"Whose dick do I have to suck to get readers?"

"Ah, FUCK!!!!"
• Your thoughts first waking up: “Oh shit, do I have to?” I wish I was joking but I’m not.
• Your bedtime: Usually between 8 and 10 AM

—————–YOU PREFER——————
• Pepsi or coke: Both suck the wad! They give me horrible abdominal cramps.
• McDonald’s or Burger King: I like making fun of their mascots. Other than that, they're both bad for you and the food kinda sucks but it'll do in a pinch. McDonald's tends to give me the trots. You did want to know that right?
• Single or group dates: I like going out with friends
• Adidas or Nike: Whatever's comfortable and on sale
• Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
• Cappuccino or coffee: I need crappuccino for my bunghole!

————-DO (DID) YOU——————
• Smoke: Yes.
• Cuss: Fuck yeah!
• Take a shower everyday: No. Usually every other day. I'm usually too tired to do it every day. Want to smell my armpits?
• Want to go to college: Fuck no, but I am.
• Like high school: I liked cutting class and getting high
• Want to get married: Uh, no. Been there, done that refused to pay for the T-shirt
• Type fingers on the right keys?: Yup
• Believe in yourself: Depends on how hypomanic I am
• Get motion sickness: Holy crap yes. Give me the damn air sickness bag, Motherfucker!
• Think you’re attractive: If I'm hypomanic I think I'm not hideous. If I'm depressed I think I'm one ugly old witch.
• Think you’re a health freak: I probably should be more of one but no, I'm not. And it shows!

• Get along with your parents: I try.

• Like thunderstorms: I do. I like to sleep to the sound of the rain.
• Play an instrument: Several, all badly.

————IN THE PAST MONTH DID:/:HAVE YOU————–
• Go to the mall: Fuck no!
• Eaten sushi: No way. I like my fish cooked!
• Been on stage: Yes
• Gone skating: Yes
• Made homemade cookies: I have, but these days I use those pre-made ones that you put in the oven however many you want at a time. They're good!

• Dyed your hair: Yes
• Stolen anything: Your soul

————-HAVE YOU EVER——————
Flown on a plane: yes
Told a guy/girl that you liked them?: Yes. The most embarrassing time was when I was wasted on hallucinogens and called a classmate and told him I was in love with him.
Cried during a Movie? Oh fuck yeah.

Cried during a song? Yes. I'm a big wuss.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Oh holy shit yeah. Many a time. Not in the past 7 years, though. I have made a real ass of myself on more than one occasion. And have puked in a gutter and behind a seven eleven and woken up curled around a toilet. Just to name a few of my more glorious drunken episodes.
Been in a fight: A few times in my younger days and once with my ex-husband when we really weren't getting along.

—————-THE FUTURE——————
What do you want to do as a career if money was no object: Write, duh!
What country would you most like to visit?: Iraq sounds like a blast. But seriously, I've only been to Canada and Mexico. There are a number of places in Europe I'd like to visit. I could stay at your house!

—————– NUMBER OF—————–
• Number of people I could trust with my life: My son, my father, my brother and, believe it or not, my ex-husband. There are a few friends that I think I could. I would say that I could trust the spooky guy with my life, but he's dead. So he has kind of a different perspective on the whole life and death thing. I trust him not to sell my soul while I'm not looking.
• Number of CDs that I own: About 200
• Number of piercings: Pierced ears. I thought I was really rad when I pierced the left one twice. I was eighteen, give me a break!

The places that people get pierced these days, I'd kick someone in the nether regions if they came at me with a needle anywhere near there!
• Number of tattoos: None yet. I've never had the money to justify it.
• Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? 5, I think
• Number of scars on my body: A few small ones, and one big one from my cesarean section.
• Number of things in my past that I regret: Too numerous to mention

—————-RIGHT NOW——————
• Wearing: Same thing I said earlier
• Drinking: Water with a little grape juice added for flavor
• Thinking about: I should quit fucking around and write something
• Listening to: "Sour Girl" by Stone Temple Pilots

———IN THE LAST 24 HRS——————
• Cried: No
• Worn jeans: No
• Met someone new online: No
• Done laundry: Yes.
• Drove a car: Yes
• Talked on the phone: No

—————DO YOU BELIEVE IN————–
Yourself: I already told ya, it depends on how hypomanic I am.
Your friends: Generally. It depends on how paranoid I am.
Santa Claus: Yes, and the fucker better bring me some good presents this year!
Destiny/Fate: To an extent. I believe we are given certain gifts at birth and we have karma to clear up. But we also make our own choices.
God: I believe in a creative force, multiple deities, angels and demons. I worship the creative force, multiple deities, and angels. I maintain a healthy level of respect for demons and try to avoid contact with them. There are forces that are best left unfucked with.

——–FRIENDS AND LIFE——————
• Do you ever wish you had another name?: Well, I chose this one. I've never much liked my given name.

• Who have you known the longest of your friends? I have one friend that I've known for nearly 25 years.
• Are you close to any family member?: Sometimes I think I am sometimes I don't. I'm actually reasonably close to my son but I try not to get too close because I don't want him to feel like I'm smothering him. When we were kids my brother and I were very close.
• When have you cried the most?: I've cried a lot over numerous things. Usually tragic things like a beloved pet or family member or friend dying. It's kind of personal to talk about it.
• What’s the best feeling in the world?: When something you worked really hard on gets the acclaim it fucking deserves! Like a book that you worked on for a bunch of years. AHEM!!!
• Worst Feeling?: 1) the horror of finding out someone you love has died.

2)When someone takes a shit on you and tells you that you're not good enough for them.

——–FAVORITE/LEAST FAVORITE——————
• Book – I love the classic horror masters

• Board Game – There are several of these that I love. A fun one based on H.P. Lovecraft's stories is Arkham Horror
• Least favorite smell – When one of the residents where I work has a big shitty accident.
• Favorite smell – A chocolate cake cooking--fuck! I just made myself hungry!
• Color – Blue and purple
• Least favorite color – that shitty mustard yellow

NOW IT'S YOUR TURN! DO IT! NOW!

SAD and other Screwed Up Brain Things

2007-11-19T23:56:00.000-07:00

At this time of year, many people experience SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. The change in light causes certain folks to become depressed and lethargic, sometimes even suicidal. There are therapeutic lamps and "Sun Boxes" that can be helpful. These can be found by doing an online search. I can't recommend any particular one as I really haven't tried them myself.

I actually experience something of a "reverse SAD," where my seasonal depression comes in the spring rather than the winter. This is more common than people think. Several studies have shown that April is actually the month that holds the dubious distinction of being the time when the greatest number of people commit suicide, and I must say, if I were going to do it, April would be the time because that's when I feel my absolute worst. My seasonal depresion starts in March and I don't come out of it till May.

In the winter there's sometimes a cruddy lethargy, but usually not an out and out depression. I just feel generally like crap most of the time, so it's hard to tell the difference. I'm feeling ok right now. But if I don't quit gaining weight I'm going to be the size of a house. Between the low thyroid levels, taking Lithium, working nights, being an olde phart over 40, stressed out as hell and then there's that pesky wanting to actually eat solid food sometimes rather than meal replacement shakes always--I guess I'm doomed to be large. If I could at least be large and in charge I'd feel better about it!

Taking vitamin D has been helpful for me because working nights I don't get much sun. I still experience depression, which is worst around that certain unlovely time of the month, but the suicidal thoughts have been greatly reduced. Not that I don't have them any more, but I seem to have mellowed them out quite a bit. Maybe vitamin D is like pot for suicidal thoughts. They're still there but they're too busy vegging out to be as much of a bother to me. Whatever works, I say!

Perhaps folks with SAD would benefit from a bit of extra vitamin D. It's very safe and very inexpensive. The recommended dosage is 2000 units per day. Give it a try. It can't hurt and it might just help.

And it may sound trite, but try to remember--it's just your brain chemistry fucking with you. You don't really want to off yourself.

Best wishes and hope for happiness,

Lily

My Report Card

2007-11-18T01:11:00.001-07:00

Get a Cash Advance

A Letter from my School Daze:

Dear Mrs. Strange,
We are concerned about Lily. She appears to actually be losing intelligence.
Sincerely
Ima Butthole
Netherworld High School Principal
Midterm Report, Fall 1982

Beavis and Butthead made me what I am today!

The Fruitcake Club and Potential Story Contest

2007-11-13T22:35:00.001-07:00

Get thee hence to the Creative Crabbing blog where there is an exciting discussion about the true nature of fruitcake and a brainstorm (or brain fart) about the idea of a holiday horror story contest. At any rate, we're having more fun over there than we are here!

Don't forget, freaky stories about ghosts and the weirdos who love them make great gifts for the off-center types on your list. And I know just the person you should buy said stories from!

Click here for some samples. Or here to find out more. Guaranteed fruitcake-free, but not nut free by any means.