I’m talking about money, money, money….. MONEY! I use to hate money, no joke a physical disdain for it. I felt like I never had enough of it, I felt I could never make enough of it, and I was constantly thinking about how to get more of it. My entire relationship with money and my finances was ass backwards, I thought that in order to get more of it I had to work harder and longer.

• I was afraid of money and if you’re afraid of something you’ll subconsciously do things to avoid it and the pain associated with it.
• My own limiting beliefs: There is never enough, I don’t know how, or can’t make more of it, I can’t afford this, that, or the in-between
• Not willing: I wasn’t willing to step outside my comfort zone to learn and explore opportunities that would improve my knowledge and understanding of how money actually works.
• Giving it away: I only saw money as something I gave away, to bills, debts, other people. I never saw it as something I deserved and was rewarded with.

It wasn’t until I actually decided to start educating myself about personal finance that my entire mind-set changed. Instead of working for money I wanted my money to work for me. Becoming wealthier is much more than just income coming in versus expenses going out, I like to consider money a source of energy and something that we should all be investing time in to learn about and understand. Unfortunately, relationships with money and wealth building are things we are not really exposed to or taught in traditional forms of education, it is more than likely something you will have to develop on your own and experiment with. There is a great quote and I wish I could remember who it is by but it goes like this:

“I know all about the war of 1812 but I’m not sure how to balance my checkbook.”

I’m all for getting a grasp on history but really, what’s more relevant and important in today’s society? So if we’re not going to be taught these sort of things in school it is up to you to spend time educating yourself and I believe with the all mighty dollar it starts with your personal relationship with the green stuff.

You versus your financial circumstances

Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and Bill Gates didn’t or don’t work for their money, they don’t even believe and never have believed that this is how money should operate. The wealthiest men and women ever understand that your money should work for you. While traditional thought would have you believe that in order to make more you have to work more, its people like this that understand that you just have to work smarter and view money a little different from everyone else. Here are a few ways in which the wealthy think a little differently about money then the rest of us:

1. The wealthy: Create their life – The rest of us: Life happens to them
2. The wealthy: Play games to win – The rest of us: Play NOT to lose
3. The wealthy: Think big – The rest of us: Think small
4. The wealthy: Focus on opportunity – The rest of us: Focus on our obstacles
5. The wealthy: Admire, talk to, and are excited for other wealthy people – The rest of us: Resent, are jealous of, and don’t spend time around wealthy people
6. The wealthy: Promote themselves and hold strong opinions – The rest of us: Feel promotion is selfish and straddle the fence
7. The wealthy: Embrace both giving and receiving – The rest of us: Feel receiving is a selfish act and one they’re not worthy of
8. The wealthy: Feel money-making should be based on results – The rest of us: Feel money-making is based on time
9. The wealthy: Think in terms of having it ALL, you can have both a great career and a close connection with your family, you can build wealth and have time for fun and play, you can make a good fortune and do work you love – The rest of us: Think that in order to have one you need to sacrifice another
10. The wealthy: Make decisions and take action despite their fears – The rest of us: Let fears and limiting beliefs affect our decisions and the actions we take…or don’t take.

The wealth mindset

Before we dive in I want to establish the difference between money and wealth. Money is just a number, that’s it. If someone asks you how much money you have you can tell them, “I have twenty bucks.” Wealth on the other hand is the ability to manage balance your time and finances so that you can have the most rewarding experiences.

I know you’ve heard this quote before, “Money is the root of all evil.” If anyone ever says this or anything that might resemble it to you, run from them and run far. Good people do good things with money and bad people will do bad things with money. Those that use this quote are telling the universe that they don’t want money or wealth. If something is evil, chances are you don’t want it, you’ll do anything you can to stay away from it.

Dracula=Evil (do you want to meet Dracula?)
The Joker=Evil (do you want to meet The Joker?)
Dr. Evil=Evil (do you want to meet Dr. Evil?)
This song=Evil (I’m sorry, I can’t stand it

The poor, middle class, millionaires, and billionaires all view money and wealth very differently. Each class has its own unique relationship with wealth and the biggest differences can be seen in each groups mindset.

*Very important: The terms poor, middle class, millionaires, and billionaires are not being used to signify that one is better than the other, smarter, or have more value as a human being. The terms are only used as a way to describe their MINDSET/RELATIONSHIP with money and wealth. The following is adapted from a write-up done by Dane Maxwell after reading the book Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller (note: A great read and one of my 52 in 52).

The poor: Are dependent and rely on a third-party to take care of them, getting wealthy is all a matter of luck and chance.

The middle class: (right now I consider myself here, but I’m working on it) Hard work and being self-sufficient is of primary concern. Safety and security are of the utmost importance when it comes to personal finances and the path to wealth is through exchanging time for money and the way to maximize wealth is by increasing the amount made per hour. Typically have one source of income (their job) and are unsure of or unaware of other ways to produce wealth. They view increases in income as being allowed to spend more on things they want. The middle class often look for a second job as a means to increase wealth.

The millionaire: Just like the middle class, being self-sufficient is a primary concern the only difference is that millionaires stress having multiple streams of income. As stated above the middle class view money as a source of security while millionaires view it as a source of freedom.The millionaire believes that becoming wealthy is a matter of science and predictability and spend their time trying to be the best at one thing while outsourcing or recruiting others to do the things they suck at. The millionaire views time as his greatest asset and considers it more valuable than money.

They are very diligent about sticking to budgets and keep track of every penny in and every penny out. They seek to maximize money-making without sacrificing their time. If they ever exchange time for money it’s because they absolutely love what they do and would essentially do it for free if someone didn’t find value in their work.

The billionaire: The biggest difference when it comes to billionaires is that they spend their lives trying to assemble a team (think Dr. Xavier and the way he put together the X-Men) that can do all the heavy lifting and hard work. They take advantage (not in a bad way, but in a smart way) of other people skills and value others expertise in areas that they might be lacking. As Dane put it, the middle class spends a lifetime trying to impress other people with credentials and proving that they are the smartest while the billionaire puts together a teams of people who is collectively much smarter than them. Billionaires understand that their job has more to do with managing people than it does a business.

J J via Compfight

More, more, more

Have you ever felt that in order for you to be happy your financial situations must change? I know I’ve had battles with that thought many times. If I just had more money I could do this, I could do that, I could be this, I could be that. That’s a mindset that has been ingrained in us for years, to constantly be wanting more. The more we have the better, right? But what happens when you get that “more,” you still want more… that’s what happens. You want more money, you want to lose more weight, you want to buy more clothes, you want more free time, the list goes on.

I don’t want to discourage anyone from trying to improve their current  situation but instead of wanting more what about focusing on getting better? Gradual, steady, and continual improvement on a daily basis. It’s easy to fall prey to short-term thinking; becoming wrapped up in acquiring “good” things now at the expense of great things later. This goes back to that marshmallow study we’ve discusses in previous posts. The kids that were able to resist receiving one marshmallow right now as opposed to two later on were shown to have better life outcomes, measured by SAT scores, body mass index, educational attainment, and other life measurements.

This goes for short-term struggles as well. Seeing mishaps and mistakes as temporary and not dwelling on them as something you are destined to experience over and over again help you to create a life that you are excited and enthusiastic about versus simply maintaining one that you are not.

Can’t dictate your current situation but you have a say in future results

T.Harv Eker in his book Secrets of The Millionaire Mind has a wonderful quote, “You can not change the fruits that are already hanging on a tree but you can change the roots in which they are grown.” Simply put, your current situation is your current situation and you can’t change that but you have complete control over your future and that will be determined by the seeds you start to plant now. Creating a budget, just getting in 5 to 10 minutes of a workout, preparing meals for the next day, telling someone you love them for no reason; those are all seeds and when done consistently enough they lead to big HUGE trees (I apologize for the cheesy analogy).

And don’t think for a second that these things only matter to you. These decisions and choices have a trickle down affect on the people around you. Form your kids, to you friends, to a stranger that might see you buy a cup of coffee for someone else for no reason. These things exponentiate and grow over time, just like your money can earn interest so too can the actions you take on a daily basis.

Becoming wealthy

All our lives we’ve been conditioned to think a certain way, about finances, nutrition, love, how to live, one of the reasons I started writing here at Limitless365 is because I wanted to find out if these ways of thinking were actually my beliefs or someone else’s.

When I think about making money, finding love, getting healthy, or gaining wealth (as defined earlier), I now think more about my experiences within those realms. When I think about making money I’m no longer thinking about the things it can buy me or what I get from it. I consider it a means for me to experience new things and a way to share, connect, and share those experiences with others. The science and research backs this up.

“…The researchers discovered money is indeed a major factor in day-to-day happiness. No surprise there. You need to make a certain amount, on average, to be able to afford food, shelter, clothing, entertainment and the occasional Apple product, but what spun top hats around the country was their finding that beyond a certain point your happiness levels off. The happiness money offers doesn’t keep getting more and more potent – it plateaus. The research showed that a lack of money brings unhappiness, but an overabundance does not have the opposite effect.

According to the research, in modern America the average income required to be happy day-to-day, to experience “emotional well being” is about $75,000 a year. According to the researchers, past that point adding more to your income “does nothing for happiness, enjoyment, sadness, or stress.” A person who makes, on average, $250,000 a year has no greater emotional well-being, no extra day-to-day happiness, than a person making $75,000 a year. In Mississippi it is a bit less, in Chicago a bit more, but the point is there is evidence for the existence of a financiohappiness ceiling. The super-wealthy may believe they are happier, and you may agree, but you both share a delusion.

If you don’t already have it, money can improve your life and make you happier, but once you have enough to go to Red Lobster on Tuesday night without worrying about paying the water bill that month, you’re good to go….” alternet.org

A few years ago I took a trip around the world and guess what, it cost me money but not as much as you would think. I didn’t need to stay in fancy hotels, fly first class, spend on lavish dinners – the greatest experiences were found in walking around aimlessly, mingling with the locals, and embracing different cultures.

“Money is only as valuable as the experiences it brings you. Experiences create happiness. Money is merely a tool used to achieve greater experience.” – Mark Manson

While there is nothing inherently wrong with buying a 100,000 dollar automobile versus a 15,000 dollar one, I suggest asking what the purpose behind that purchase is. Both will get you from point A to point B all the same, scale back a bit and you have yourself 85,000 bucks to go have yourself some amazing experiences with loved ones.

Money more wisely

What are you passionate about, what do you want to learn about, what experiences do you want to have, who do you want to share them with? Those are the places your money should be going. Outside food, shelter, and your health what else do you actually need? T.Harv Eker breaks down personal finance into a formula known as “JARS.” You essentially breakdown your income into six separate jars:

Financial Freedom: 10% of your income used to purchase and acquire passive income (another definition).

Long-Term Savings: 10% of your income used for home, children, etc…

Education: 10% of income used not only on formal education but self-education through courses, seminars, books, etc…

Necessities: 55% of your income on bills, mortgage, food, and necessary expenses for survival (be careful how you classify necessary).

Play: 10% o your income on simply making yourself feel good!

Give: 5% of your income on others, charities, buying someone lunch, etc…

That’s great Justin but what now? Get out a pen and a pad and get to work! Define what each of these things mean to you and if you know how much money is coming in divide it up accordingly. One thing I have done is started to create separate accounts for each category.

Author, psychologist, and holocaust survivor Victor Frankl stated in his book Man’s Search for Meaning that a fundamental element that we are all in search and need for is our life to have purpose. Align your finances more closely with your purpose and you will never feel poor again.

In 30 lessons for living: Tried and true advice from the wisest Americans we learn life long lessons about building wealth:

• Do not stay in a job you dislike
• Focus on intrinsic rewards
• Participate in experiences and take jobs for what you can learn
• Keep searching, no matter what

Are the your actions, decisions, and conduct whether it be related to money, love, health, career/purpose, or creativity serving a greater purpose, one that is bigger than all of us? How are you going to contribute today? How can you begin to spend and earn more wisely today?

Live limitless,

Justin

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The post MONEY: You can’t get enough, you’ll never have enough, but you always want more. appeared first on Limitless365.

I’ve received a few emails in the past asking me if there are any specific rules that I live by or if there are any “commandments” or rules that I follow to live a limitless lifestyle. I recently received an email from a member of the Limitless365 community asking if it was actually possible to achieve a limitless lifestyle and what that exactly means to me.

After reading the question I was a little disappointed in myself for not actually answering the question before. I mean geez, I’ve been writing here for over a year now and have published over 190 posts, plus a few others on various websites and not once have I addressed what exactly a limitless lifestyle means to me, my rules/philosophies to live by, and how you can achieve a limitless lifestyle… or if it’s even possible.

So let me start by saying I’m sorry. Sorry for not addressing the question earlier. Now that I’ve manned up, let’s get to business shall well?

Is it possible to live a limitless lifestyle?

Most people are ok with living a comfortable, safe, and secure lifestyle… Hell, there are times when I think to myself that’s not such a bad idea, and to be honest I do like a little bit of familiarity and secureness in my life. It’s like a warm blanket on a cold night. But man, my passion and love for living life and getting better at being human just gets the best of me way to often. I’d much rather take risks and constantly challenge myself in the pursuit of a life that I am proud of and that I know am capable of.

Before you decide if it’s possible to live a limitless lifestyle you have to define what it is right? That to me is one of the biggest mistakes any of us make. We start to pursue things before we even get clear about what they are, mean to us, or why we even think they’re worthy enough to pursue.

Take any goal that you may have for example whether it be health, career, travel, fun and play, or relationship related. The goal itself is often described in such broad terms or arbitrary terms.

• I want to get healthier (or I just want to lose 20 pounds, the most common thing I hear)
• I want to make three figures a year
• I want to be able to travel more
• I want more free time
• I want to be married by the time I’m 25…. or older if you’re a dude

There is never anything specific defined and more often than not our pursuits have been defined by someone else. I mean we’re all suppose to go to school right? Get a good job with a high paying salary and benefits. Get married at a specific age, weigh a certain amount, own a home at a specific point in our life,  and so on and so forth. That leads me to the limitless living rule #1…

Gord McKenna via Compfight

Limitless Living Rule #1: Make your own damn rules

Some rules that have been established I find to be very important. For instance I like the speed limit, I also am particularly fond of the legal drinking age, and the fact that you can’t walk down the street, sock a guy in his nose and take his wallet without some repercussions (hopefully). Those rules just make sense to me.

There’s no one size fits all approach to living your life so I am often confused as to why so many other people or institutions try to define it for us.

Hold that thought, actually I’m not surprised, the reason is because conformity, familiarity, and safety make life easier and less confusing for the majority. When you get those trouble-makers (like you if you’re reading this), questioners of the status quo, and rebels with a cause that constantly question why things are done a certain way, or have the ability to do things differently you create confusion and uncomfortibility.

Think about this for a minute, what is so inherently wrong with laying down in the middle of a Starbucks in you’re tired, turning to face the other direction in a crowded elevator, dancing in a clothing store if your “JAM” comes on.

The worst mistake any of us can make is falling into the trap of validation or trying to keep up with the Jonses. Just because everyone else is doing things one way doesn’t mean you have to. Ignore others expectations of you and start paying more attention to the expectations you have for yourself.

The best way to start making your own damn rules is to get yourself a mission statement. One of the best ways I have found to discover your own personal mission statement is to play the Eulogy game (some of you may know of this). It’s a visualization exercise in which you picture yourself on the day of your own funeral. Get as specific and as detailed about the room, the people in the room, and what you even look like.

Now I know this might be uncomfortable for some of you but like my Pops always has said to me, “If you’re afraid of dying than essentially your afraid of living because none of us can escape that guarantee.” -Tom Miller (thanks Pop)

No picture what your eulogy consists of. What is being said about you, what is the environment like, how many people are there?

• What are some of your lifetime achievements and when and how did you achieve them?
• How many people were you able to impact in a positive manner?
• What are your closet friends saying? Family? Those that barely knew you or have crossed your path?

This is the ultimate way to explore the highest expectations you have for yourself. It often takes that “death-bed syndrome” mentality to get it out of us. To many of us have to have a gun to our head, feel so much pain, or uncomfortability in order to be motivated enough to pursue something. That’s a damn shame it my book, the possibilities of life in and of itself should be enough motivation for anyone to go after what is most important to them.

When I asked myself these questions I came to the conclusion that I consider my life to be one giant canvas in which I hold the paint brushes to create any sort of masterpiece I wish. The definition of art is this.

The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination

My life has become art to me. Every day I get to wake up with an infinite amount of choices I can make that will lead me down a particular path. I have the ability every single day to choose a life that is authentic and meaningful to me or to make choices based upon standards that someone else has deemed appropriate.

Needless to say I choose my authentic self.

So when I sat down to ask myself those eulogy questions I came up with this:

My purpose is to connect with the highest version of myself on a more consistent basis day in and day out. To be relentless in my pursuits and to be a source of contagious positive energy that others can use to ignite their own inner vision of what a limitless life is to them.

As a reminder, I try to read this quote by Marcus Aurelius to myself every morning.

Everything—a horse, a vine—is created for some duty… For what task, then, were you yourself created? A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.

Am I able to do it everyday? Nope, but I’m ok with that. Perfection isn’t where it’s at for me, consistency is.

Alex Eylar via Compfight

Rule #2: Anything that bothers you is your issue. People don’t do things to you they do them for themselves

You have to take responsibility for your own actions and behaviors, it is no one else’s fault but our own if we allow ourselves to get walked all over, are bored, upset, depressed, lazy, stressed, or a host of any other emotions. If you want something it is your job to go get it. If you don’t want something it is your job to not let it consume you.

Respect and empathy for others decisions, lifestyle choices, philosophies, and behaviors is of the highest importance. The majority of people in this world are good despite what you see on the news and I focus my attention of all that is right in this world as opposed to what is wrong. There will always be events and actions taken that are beyond your control, belief, and imagination. Embrace and marvel in those that are in the best interest of humanity and lets ask ourselves what we can do to contribute positively and unconditionally to those that may need our help.

Rule #3: Your beliefs create your reality

Your beliefs determine the things you will accomplish. If you don’t believe you can achieve something like weightless, a specific career, or even a relationship with a certain type of person how hard do you think you’ll actually work for it?

Your beliefs become your operating system, everything you see, think, feel, and experience will be influenced by what you belief to be the truth. For example if you believe the only way to wealth is through working more hours for someone else that will be your reality. However, if you believe the path to wealth is through entrepreneurship that will be the path you embark on.

If you believe life is difficult than it will be. If you believe things are impossible than they will be. If you believe that you’re not smart enough, attractive enough, or capable than you never will be. You have the ability to create new possibilities for yourself everyday by eliminating limiting beliefs.

The funny thing about limiting beliefs is their often not even our own. Typically they are handed down to us at a young age by an authority figure like a teacher, parent, or peer. It’s my belief that the opposite holds true for myself because my parents were so adamant when I was growing up that I had the ability to achieve anything I could ever want if I just believed I could do it…. Thanks Mom and Dad, much love goes out to you.

The first step to eliminating any limiting beliefs is to acknowledge them. I suggest starting with the one that is causing the most discomfort for you. It’s much easier and less overwhelming to conquer one thing at a time. So for example if you are a guy that is struggling with women or a girl who is struggling with men and feel like you can’t get or don’t deserve a good one ask yourself why? Why do you feel like that?

The second step is to take those reasons why and find examples that disprove them. So if you feel like you can’t get a specific type of woman or man because you are not smart enough or have a certain level of education find examples of people with a similar educational background that are pulling it off. For me personally I always maintained a limiting a belief about being able to create my own online business because I lacked the digital know how to pull it off. I found examples of others doing it, contacted them, and quickly squashed that belief.

You can apply this to anything from weight loss to career to personal relationships.

If you need some more examples of how your beliefs or perspectives create your reality look no further than Rory Sutherlands Tedx talk on how perspective is everything.

Neal Fowler via Compfight

Rule #4: Most of the major events in life are benign

Some of you may have just cocked your head to the side and squinted an eye and maybe raised an eyebrow, thinking to yourself whaaaaaaaa?

What I mean by most major events in life are benign is that the majority of them have no significant effect on us yet we treat them like they do. In a sense we exaggerate the importance or the impact they have on our lives. Some of the major life events I am talking about are things like getting married, having kids, or changing careers. I know, I know, some of you right now are like what the heck dude, how can you say that?

In a study conducted by Kanner, Coyne, Schaefer, and Lazarus it was shown that the little things like quality of sleep, personal relationships with friends and family, and meaningful work contribute more to our well-being than major life events. So taking care of your health, surrounding yourself with optimistic and inspiring people, and pursuing work that you feel contributes to something bigger than yourself goes a long way.

Rule #5: Happiness should not be something you chase but a byproduct of the decisions you make.

Man there is so much research out there about happiness, what it is, what it isn’t, and how to achieve more of it. I’ve even written a post about it here. But essentially to be happier just start making more decisions that are aligned to those things most important to you. I have personally struggled with this in the past and even still do on occasion in my personal relationships. I’ll make decisions based upon what is most important to someone else even if it goes against what I believe is best. This is the fastest way to stress, anxiety, and discomfort.

Essentially you’ll achieve more happiness on your own if you just start doing the stuff that means the most to you. If you like going to bed early and getting up early you should do it, if you like working out don’t skip workouts, if eating Paleo is important to you try to limit how often you veer from that style of eating, if you don’t want to work 80 hour weeks then don’t go to Law school and become a lawyer … I think ya get me.

See-ming Lee via Compfight

Rule #6: Invest in yourself, knowledge, experience, and your personal relationships

Want to spend your time more wisely and stretch your money further, invest in yourself, experiences, and your personal relationships. If you want to hear a damn shame it’s that I didn’t start reading books until I was 21 years old…. Let me rephrase that, I did not read my first book from front to back until I was 21 years old. I wasted some good years in which I could have really been diving into my own personal development.

How are you currently investing in yourself?

Education: Books by the likes of Stephen Covey, James Allen, Anthony Robbins, Napolean Hill, Dale Carnegie, Tim Ferriss, George Samuel, and Marcus Aurelius have so much wisdom and practical advice.

Health: Eating more real food and consistently being active on a daily basis.

Mindfulness/Meditation: Practicing the art of quieting the mind and paying attention and become more aware. Your actions and emotions are always your responsibility.

Taking on personal challenges and addressing fears: Doing the those things that help to get you comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Personal finance: Spending less and saving more.

Relationships: Judge people based on their behavior and spend more time with those that can contribute your growth as well as those that you can contribute to as well.

And that brings me to here

Is it even possible to live a life without limits?” The simple answer is NO. That might surprise some of you, given the name of this site is Limitless365 but here’s the deal. There will always be some sort of limits we all face. But there are not as many of them as we think. For instance if I asked you is it possible to walk on water you’re gut reaction would be to say NO, it is not possible. Now watch this.

Just because something hasn’t been done yet doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. There are a million ways to do one thing, tricks and hacks like that above to accomplish some  pretty awesome feats. Are you willing to do the work, push past the non-believers, and commit to your beliefs?

It’s not boxing you in and saying that’s what you are.

What rules do you try to live by? 

Live Limitless,

Justin

The post 6 rules to live the limitless lifestyle. appeared first on Limitless365.

I love learning, plain and simple. I like to often refer to myself as a knowledge junkie always looking to get my hands on a good book, have a new experience, converse with someone about a topic I don’t particularly know much about, and then I like to share what I’ve learned with others.

Now maybe the worst kept secret on this site is that I’m not a big fan of formal education. I’ve written a few articles about my beef with it, and while I respect it and feel it is more beneficial than not I’m confident in saying that the opportunities available for self-education are so immense right now that for those whom can not afford the high price of a traditional education might benefit greatly from some of these resources.

Now that brings me here, saying it and doing it are two very different things. The great thing about formal education is that it places you in an environment that pressures you to learn and stay with it, the high financial investment is a great reminder and motivating factor as to why you should  attend classes. When self educating the costs are often much cheaper and the owness is on YOU to find the motivation and discipline to consistently do the work that it takes to acquire the type of knowledge that you are looking for.

One way to do this is by simplifying the learning process. Learning can be tedious, boring, and frustrating as all hell. It’s often not very fun until you’re really good at what ever skill or subject you’re trying understand. In a society that is obsessed with instant gratification and immediate results the time it can take to fully comprehend a topic is one big reason for not learning it.

One of the coolest opportunities that I’ve been afforded since starting Limitless365 about a year ago is that I’ve been able to go back and forth with some of my favorite authors via email, phone call, text, or in person. I’m also extremely grateful for the influence their books have had on my own personal development. One book in particular that has helped me tremendously with my understanding the underpinnings of business, career, and work is The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business by Josh Kaufman. Josh’s new book The First 20 Hours: Mastering the toughest part of learning anything inspired me to write this post.

I’m easily impressed and jealous of anyone that can master a skill in a relatively short period of time. I don’t know about you but I always have this debate with friends over whether it is better to be an “Expert” at one thing or a renaissance man if you will and the “Jack of all trades.” I tend to lean towards the Jack of all trades, to develop capacity over a wide range of subjects and skills than the master of only one. Malcolm Gladwells book (and a great one at that) Outliers talks about how it takes 10,000 hours of practice in any given field to develop success.

I don’t know about you but I don’t have that kind of time. If you were able to put in 8 hours of solid work in a day it would take you 1,250 days… I’m patient but not that patient. Even if you worked your ass of for 24 hours a day you’d still have to be busting your tail for 416 days.

So lets get to it, how can you deconstruct learning so that you are able to build capacity in any subject or skill as fast as possible and how can I use these techniques to learn Japanese?

Kristina Alexanderson via Compfight

Deconstructing Learning

“…At the end of those four years, our newly minted graduate (computer science) has spent thousands of hours learning algorithms and analyzing compilers well enough to pass dozens of examinations, but she is no closer to founding a software company than she was when she entered the university…” – Josh Kaufman, The First 20 Hours

I did my time in school, 4 years undergraduate and then a few more to earn my masters and the greatest thing I took away from that time was how to memorize things with regard to my degree (temporarily at least) but I never learned how to really grasp the subjects I was supposed to be learning about or how to create something that could both create an income for myself and benefit others.

Sure I take some of the blame for that but I also believe the process of learning is flawed. In school we’re taught how to memorize and with the pressure of acquiring good grades so you can get a good job, you’re only motivated to understand just enough and for just long enough in order to pass an exam. Thus, nothing is actually learned long-term or it is severely limited.

Before actually learning something you have to get past a few personal barriers. These are things I have severely struggled with in the past but am now starting to understand the necessity and importance of pushing past them.

1. You’re either smart or you’re not: Bologna! Bologna I say! It is far from being true that you’re either naturally smart or not. Often times it is simply a matter of applying better techniques to learning. You have to actually believe  that you’re capable of acquiring new skills. If you think you suck at chemistry why bother efforting to improve if you are destined to suck, right? 

Anyone of us can good at something, learn anything, or acquire any skill that we want if you’re willing to practice. Neuroscience shows that our brains are actually plastic, which means that it actually changes and adapts to the environment, the actions and decisions you make, and the outcome of those actions and decisions.

2. Your IQ tells the whole story: I’m not going to drop a bologna on you again, this time I’m going to hit you with a hogwash! Hogwash I say! You’re IQ changes with age and IQ tests, much like most tests can be studied for (1). IQ tests only measure your developed skills and don’t take into account your actual intelligence and don’t measure your intellectual limits or limitations. They also do not measure emotional intelligence, creativity, or practical intelligence (street smarts) which we have discussed my play a much more important role in measuring success.

Once you get past those tow hurdles you can now dive on into a process I like to call “Superman Learning.” I know, I know, very 8-year-old of me but I love me some Superman…. man.

Jasper Nance via Compfight

How to learn faster than a speeding bullet

Rapid learning is not much different then trying to eat right and exercise, learn a foreign language, or study organic chemistry. We often think we know what do to do, soon find out that we don’t really, then begin to start understanding what we need to do but get so overwhelmed with all of the information out there that we never get started…

Am I dead on with this one or what?

In order to not only learn something but to learn it fast you have to take one important step first, I like to call this pre gaming without the alcohol

Admit why you’ll fail or quit: It’s very important that the first few times you practice, try to learn, or develop a habit that you address the most likely of reasons you could fail or would cause you to quit. If you’re trying to eat a healthier diet it might be a good idea to perform a kitchen makeover, or to take notice if most of your slip ups come at home, the office, or with certain people.

There’s a lot of folks that want to understand how to eat better and the task seems simple enough right? Just starting eating the right foods and stop eating the bad ones… eazy-peezy! That is until you realize that eating right extends past just choosing the right foods, it’s very much a lifestyle overhaul that is happening. You may now have to adopt the following habits or skills:

• New way of grocery shopping
• How to cook
• Cleaning up the kitchen now that you are cooking more
• Getting the family on board
• Dining out
• Having meals prepared ahead of time

And that’s not all of them, eating right is more than just eating right, there are a subset of habits and skills you will have to develop in order to have success and not addressing these issues is why many of us fail. Most people will quit within the first few weeks, if you can get past this your odds of success skyrocket.

Gueorgui Tcherednitchenko via Compfight

Breaking down what you want to learn

One of the things that led me to read Josh’s book was that he was able to teach himself Yoga, computer programming, touch typing, the game GO, how to play the Ukele, and how to windsurf in roughly 20 hours, averaging about 60-90 minutes of practice per day. In order to achieve these lofty goals Josh created a checklist for himself before diving into any skill he wanted to learn.

1. Choose a loveable project: If you don’t actually care about what you’re doing your effort will be lacking
2. Focus all you energy on one thing at a time: I know for me I have a cluster f*ck for a brain. I want to learn everything and do everything right now! My brain is like puddy and it is tough to control sometimes. If you want to develop a new habit or skill focus on one thing at a time. Try learning a new language, how to surf, and eat right all at the same time… a royal and difficult pain in the ass.
3. Define your target performance level: Get specific about what it is you are trying to accomplish and keep reminding yourself. For example, most of us that want to learn a new language just want to be able to converse with a native speaker or to be able to visit the country and not sound like an idiot. This doesn’t require you to become fluent in the language, it just requires that you know just enough. One thing you can do to help with this is to…
4. Break it down into smaller pieces or 80/20 the hell out of it: We’ve discusses Prato’s 80/20 principle on here before but as a refresher it can often be found that 20% of our tools, resources, actions, etc… cause 80% of our desired results. Benny over at Fluent In 3 Months breaks down the 80/20 rule for language learning pretty awesomely over at his site. For a language acquisition you may want to start learning the most common words used in that language or a few key phrases that help to expose how the language works.
5. Obtain critical tools/resources: What is going to help you succeed? The right groceries, paddles for your paddle board, pencils for your art project? Do you need to be in a specific type of environment?
6. Eliminate barriers to practice: We talked about this a bit in the “Pre Game” part but it bares a little repeating. What things, people, or other distractions are going to get in your way or could get in your way to achieving your target performance level.
7. Practice, Practice, Practice: Yeah, you actually have to do the work. Set time aside to practice your craft and turn it into an appointment with yourself. If there is something I am trying to accomplish or learn I try to do it first thing in the morning. As the day wears on my willpower goes and I am less likely to put in the time.
8. Make sure to get some love: In order to keep striving you have to know how you’re doing. If you feel like you’re just spinning your wheels you’re less likely to stick with it. One of the best examples I can think of is someone who is trying to lose body fat. Take measurements, hop on the scale, get a body fat test done, have blood work done, take notes on how you’re feeling… feedback!
9. Don’t wear yourself out: It takes hard work but that doesn’t mean you need to be on a treadmill for 4 hours straight, reading until sundown, or practicing tango for half the day. Your body and brain work best in about 60-90 bursts, set a timer if you have to for 50-80 minutes and take at least 10 minute breaks to move around or do something enjoyable before diving back in. 60-90 minutes of practice is ideal but can be a bit overwhelming at first, if you can’t do it just try for 5, 10, 15 minutes, or whatever you can handle until you are able to build up. It’s more important to be consistent with your efforts at first.
10. More, more, more, and fast, fast, fast: Perfectionism=Procrastination(ism). Concentrating on trying to be perfect when you first dive into something can be extremely frustrating and soul breaking. You will screw up, and often at that when you are first trying something; diet, exercise, language learning, dancing, kite boarding, etc… Mess it up, pick it up, and get back on and roll. Try, try, and try again, frequently and immediately.

Derek Sivers referenced the importance of quantity and speed in order to see quality. Josh uses the same example in his book.

“…A ceramics teacher announced he was dividing his class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right graded solely on its quality.

His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would weigh the work of the “quantity” group: 50 pounds of pots rated an A, 40 pounds a B, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get an A.

Well, come grading time and a curious fact emerged:the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity!

It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay…” read more here

That’s a wrap and a challenge 

Josh’s book goes into a bit more detail about skill acquisition but the nuts and bolts are provided above. I know for myself personally I love learning new things and taking or exciting challenges but I also like to do it relatively fast. Learning is so much more than regurgitating information, taking tests, and receiving a grade as feedback to how well or not so well you’re doing.

I promised you a challenge so here goes: What are you doing these next 30 days? How about spending 60-90 minutes every day pursuing a goal, learning a new skill, or building a habit. Don’t have that much time? Cool, do what you can for 5, 10, 15 minutes a day – just be consistent in your endeavors. Personally, I will be spending the next 30 days trying to learn as much as I can about playing the guitar, it’s always been a goal of mine to play one single song at a coffee shop in front of a crowd (video will be included) Lofty? Perhaps but I like a good challenge. I’ll be using this post as well as Josh’s book The First 20 Hours: How to Learn Anything . . . Fast! and some other resources from Tim Ferris as building blocks to help me out.

More to come on the challenge but I’d love to hear from you. What is something you have always wanted to learn or a skill you have wanted to master?

Live limitless,

Justin

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The post How to master the toughest part of learning anything. Plus, a challenge appeared first on Limitless365.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these or feel free to share some of your favorite quotes, motivational photos, or zingers with the other L365 crazies in the comments below.

And my personal favorite…

The post Five inspirational photo quotes for your friday. appeared first on Limitless365.

A few months ago I received an email form Kimberly after I asked you all the question “How do you handle criticism?” It went a little something like this…

…The success I am experiencing currently is because over the past few years of tackling my issues, I realized many of these same strategies and put them into play. You have to PLAN if you want to succeed.

• Structure your day
• Prepare food in advance
• Take food with you…wherever I am, there is my food.
• Turn off the TV; take care of daily business first….
• pick up heavy stuff frequently and walk ….a lot

Doing all these things has helped me eliminate 81 lbs of fat off my body, I have lost it and I will NEVER find it again…

81 pounds! I had to interview her. Little did I know the insight and amazing journey she would tell. Without further ado, I give you Kimberly.

Q: Talk to me about when your weight became an issue for you and some of the details as to why that was? What was your breaking point?

A: My weight has been an issue for me my entire life. I went from “newborn” directly into “pretty plus”. I yo-yo’d my entire adult life. I lost about 50 pounds in the mid 80′s, gained it all back plus some until I was at my highest weight of 297; lost another 60 lbs in the 90′s, then would gain 5, lose 7, gain 10, lose 15, gain 20, lose 5 etc…

Got a divorce in 2005..boo hoo sad and nervous; lost weight , met my current husband in 2006..yee haw happy; cooked up a storm of love food; ended back up around 275. I was shocked and so disappointed with myself. At this point , I was 46 and was having female plumbing issues and general unwellness. I found a woman gynecologist who was in her own practice. She fixed me up that way and hooked me up with an endocrinologist. I have been taking thyroid meds for years prescribed by a family doctor. The endocrinologist told me I was crossing the line into type II diabetes. I was right on the edge, I knew I needed to do something. I WAS NOT GOING TO GO THERE. Period Dot The End. NOT.

So, that started me on my journey into wellness, I started eating better and working out steadily.  A group of friends have gotten together for the past two years and run in the WARRIOR DASH. I lost a lot of weight..body fat..and gained a ton of muscle mass. I walked two miles a day, went to the gym and did another two on the elliptical, lifted weights. I started this journey in 2008 wearing size 24W pants. I was down to a size 18W. Then I hit a plateau. I wasn’t gaining, and my body was still changing, although much more slowly, and I wasn’t losing much weight. I did this for a long time. My blood sugar reached the 80′s so my doctor took me off the medicine. I could not figure out why I couldn’t lose my belly, and why I had heartburn and gas.

Q: How did you discover the Paleo Diet? And explain the gradual changes you made and how you stayed motivated?

A: One of the gentlemen in my wellness group is from the UK, he is a brilliant brilliant man. He started posting things pertaining to Paleo and whole foods;  however, this INCLUDED MEAT AND FAT!! WHAT? Meat and Fat!! I had been eating Fruit, Nuts, Grains and Beans ( and Oreos, m&m’s, Doritos, bread bread bread bread, but that’s another story) for so long that the thought of eating meat and fat blew me away.

I didn’t know that then; I thought it was normal to be gassy and bloated, and have brain fog, and generally feel like shit all the time. I am an inquisitive type so to the GOOGLE I went and started exploring. I had been taken off the diabetes meds, and immediately gained 18 lbs. My endocrinologist wanted to put me back on the pill, but I didn’t want to. What taking the pill did was allow me to still eat boatloads of shit and metabolize it. Not the way to wellness in my book. So, taking in everything I read on-line, I started Juicing, I started to use coconut oil. I started to eat more protein as opposed to grains; eliminated most grains completely.

I realized that my relationship with food was as unhealthy as my first marriage, and that I allowed food to bully me. I was immature in this relationship and I needed to grow up. So, in 2102, I divorced food, I broke up with it.

I have always loved to cook, I have cooked trough loads of food in my lifetime. This year, I stopped with the majority of what I used to make and I have SIMPLIFIED, meat, veg and fat.  Easy, Delicious, packable, movable feasts.

Q: So explain what gradual changes you made and how you stayed motivated?

A: I love food. I have always loved food. My father loved to cook; my mother was a great baker. I grew up at their elbows helping in the kitchen. I have always cooked for my family and friends. Even when I was ridiculously fat, I cooked real food. It has taken me close to 5 years to get to where I am now. Mostly because I had a difficult time giving up certain things…ritual food, comfort foods, celebration foods, anger foods; get the trend here? Had to deal with emotional issues etc. I have achieved that by learning to live in the PRESENT. The past can only interfere in my now if I allow it. The future has not happened yet so quit having expectations on how it should be; quit trying to control everything. And while I was dealing with the emotional burdens we all think are SOOO IMPORTANT, I learned to eat real food. Now If I am upset and want to eat something; I eat cooked greens. or fruit and cheese, instead of bingeing on Oreos.

Q: Talk about the first month or two? What where some of biggest obstacles and how did you address them?

A: When I stated previously that I divorced food in 2012, I meant that I eventually realized that eating the “extra” stuff, the mindless eating that I did throughout my work day etc, was KILLING me. Why wasn’t I reaching my goal? Maybe because I had a drawer full of crap that I munched on all day at work? AHHHHH Lightbulb moment. Sounds stupid, as any intelligent person would figure this out sooner, but we humans constantly rationalize and I was no different. The thing with higher consciousness is that once you get there, once the light goes on, you CANNOT continue to live in the darkness. Living in the darkness is now a CHOICE. So you have to face the “it;” whatever it is that you just had the moment over, and deal with it, Make whatever changes you have to make. Give yourself time to figure it out. The first thing you try may not work, there is always a plan B, plan C, plan D…… use them. I began to think of my self as an experiment in action.

As I began this journey into wellness, I began to educate my self. The internet has changed how we live; information is so easily attainable in these times. I intrinsically knew that the whole package needed an upgrade; this wasnt just a diet. Diet’s are events; wellness is a process, an ongoing continual process.

Changing my mindset(s) has been the biggest challenge. I am a child of the 60′s and 70′s; we were sold a life all about convenience and fun as we watched our Hanna Barbera Saturday morning cartoons, as our mothers watched the afternoon soaps, we were all indoctrinated in the lies of advertising. Unlearning that has been amazing. Accepting responsibility for my life and all I do ( what I put in my pie hole and how I move my body are just two aspects of the whole shebang) has allowed me to be a full functioning total adult.

Big obstacles are things like social functions with NON PALEO, non health freak people. That is a tough one; the great thing now is that the crap food just doesn’t interest me anymore. I am glad to be over that hurdle. I eat before I go anywhere. If that is not a possibility, I make the best choice I can from the available selections. I aim for eating clean 85% of the time. I actually think I am starting to do better than that, but for a while that was a good guideline. I allow myself to occasionally eat goodies, and now, what I think of as a goodie is changing. I can walk past the bakery aisle and the chip aisle and the ice cream aisle easily now. I feel like a million bucks, I am thinner and fitter than I have been since high school. No donut is gonna make me feel as good as that.

Q: What are some strategies you used to make the transition sustainable?

A: Going Paleo was actually easy for me. Cooking this way is easier than all the carb stuff. Stir fries, roasted veggies and meats, soups in the pressure cooker or slow cooker depending, salads, eggs. I cook on Sunday’s so I have food ready for the week. I take my food to work with me everyday to avoid temptation. I cook a omelet every night and pack it…usually spinach, bacon, mushroom with some swiss cheese with a huge helping of cooked greens on the side, for breakfast.

I pack a salad or a meat and veg combo for lunch. My husband is home all day and he eats when he is hungry; we don’t do big dinners very often. In the evening, when I get home from work, I work out, then we have some yogurt and fruit or something small like that. I front load my food, big breakfast; good-sized lunch and small evening meal. I eat lots of coconut oil and avocado. What I have noticed about eating more protein and fat is that I am really satiated..full and satisfied for HOURS. I used to eat a lot of carbs ( cereal for breakfast, snack all day at work, eat lunch, eat a big meal for dinner. eat dessert); a lot of really “heavy” foods. I feel so light now eating the way I do, and I’m not hungry all day. I’m not constantly grazing,..its amazing. My energy level is through the roof.

Q: How long did it take before you noticed positive results? What were the first things you noticed?

A: What I’ve really noticed since going more Paleo is that I’m getting leaner; losing the belly fat finally! My hair had been thinning for years, it’s now becoming thicker and healthier, very exciting for a woman of 50! I have an all around better sense of well-being. I have muscle mass; I run the stairs out of the subway every morning going to work. I power walk or elliptical and do a weight and stretching workout 3-4 days a week. I want to do these things. I can do these things!

“The motivation is in the doing“, and I believe that. Some days I don’t want to work out, some days I gave it the 10 minute rule and usually end up doing a full work out. What I know now is that I have changed my lifestyle, one habit at a time, one day at a time, one accomplishment and a whole shit ton of failures at times, and I am in a great place.

Q: Talk about your family and friends? Were they supportive? How did you handle them?

A: I now know for sure that support is essential for a transition into wellness. My on-line buddies have become real life long friends…as I stated previously, I have met several of them face to face and we have run in Warrior Dashes together. We call them Warrior Weekends! This year, instead of doing the dash, we are going to skydive.

I was married to an abusive man for 22 years. Our relationship was great as long as he had total control. Any time I attempted a diet; he sabotaged it. I always gave in and gave up. I was terribly unhappy for years and was too unwell and too busy in the chaos to even realize it. I was 30 years old when the lightbulb dimly lit for the first time; I had a baby and gave birth to my son by myself. My husband left me at the hospital and went home. As I looked at my son in his bassenet, being the ONLY mother in the recovery room without extended family members, a husband, balloons and flowers, I hit rock bottom. I knew I had to change my life.

So I started, I started reading. I made friends against my husband’s wishes. I started to take more control and more responsibility for my life. Finally, after twelve years of contention; he left. I felt like I had the rug pulled out from underneath me at the time, but it was the best thing that could have happened. Going through that divorce taught me how capable I am.

Now I am married to a man who supports what I do 100%. He is disabled from a genetic issue; Charcot-Tooth-Marie, a muscular dystrophy type genetic disorder has robbed him of the muscle mass in his extremities. He has no muscle mass in his lower legs or arms. He works out everyday to retain muscle mass. Since he met me and quit sugar, he has lost 80 pounds as well.

My son just turned 21 this week. He played high school football; O-line, and started playing in college. He just quit this year. Why? Because he started seriously training and lost 50 lbs. He was in such turmoil over football but how could I tell him to gain the weight back so he could play? Not gonna happen. He went from 280 to about 230 and he looks amazing. He is teaching himself to cook, which thrills me to no end, and I have given him Paleo cookbooks to help guide him. I have made many mistakes as a parent, but if my son is NOT AN OBESE ADULT then I will consider myself a success.

I do my best to surround my self with like-minded folk. How I eat is still so confusing to many, and that is ok. I explain best I can when asked. I do not offer information as most people are sadly, so indoctrinated into the standard american diet.

Q: What are 3 habits that you do consistently regardless of the chaos that may be going on in other areas of your life

A:

1) Plan Plan Plan Plan…structure and consistency are key for me. I am the hyperactive type and hyperactive brains like mine are all over the place! While certainly being flexible, cause life happens no matter what, I try to be consistent with my daily habits. I get up at the same time every day. Right now, and probably for a long time to come, my office is short-staffed; I am working ridiculous hours. Taking a few moments here and there to plan how I spend my spare time and prepping for the next chunk of work time reduces stress levels. I plan out my wardrobe for the week on Sunday evening. I cook my self a omelette every night and pack it with cooked greens for my breakfast the next day and I pack my lunch out of the stuff I cooked on Sunday

2) TURN OFF THE TV . Really. Do it.

3) Sleep. I go to bed early; usually about 8:30 pm as I am up at 4:30 am for work. Yep, you read that correctly. Per number two, see above, when you practice that, you are ready for bed by 8:30! There are a few shows I like, and I can DVR them and watch them when I wish. I get home from work, I exercise, I Facebook, Hubby and I chat. I cook my breakfast and prep for the next day. Cuddle my kitties. I don’t need to know anything about anyone named Snookie. I think one of the reasons I hit 300 lbs was sleep deprivation.

Q: Talk about your triggers. What food triggers did you have that you had to break? How did you do so?

A: I had more food triggers than fingers and toes. Seriously. Ate when I was happy, ate when I was sad, ate when I was anxious, ate when I was mad….I just ate. I was so very unhappy in my first marriage, and so delusional and unconscious, that my mind would not allow my soul to know just how unhappy it was. I had a HUGE revelation when I started learning about Paleo; I had been as addicted to carbs for 30 years as Jerry Garcia was to heroin. I was on that intake refined carb-sugar high-crash cycle continuously for decades. I grazed all day.

As I started to change my lifestyle habits in 2008, I quickly eliminated packaged foods, rarely did I purchase cookies; I upped the quality of my binges by baking the crap myself, smart move. Treat day was on Saturday’s. However, I still had the secret stash drawer at work with tons of crap…cookies, pretzels, candy etc. So I was tricking myself into thinking I was eating healthier, and I outright lied to myself about my secret stash. Eliminating these kinds of habits takes time, so as I encountered situations where I wanted to eat, I examined the thought behind the impulse, I stopped and thought. I had to recognize the triggers; stress, impatience, unhappiness, or basically, whatever I was “feeling” in any given moment and then examine why I had the impulse to balm my emotion with carbs.

One has to have the ‘aha’ moment when you realize that YOU control your emotions, they cannot control you, or your choices. For me, I realized that living in chaos, which my first husband and daughter thrive on, is lethal for me. I have eliminated as much chaos from my life as possible. My household used to be competitive, I have changed that, and my household is now cooperative. I have learned that eating high quality, real food, very regularly eliminates cravings. Nourishing my body in the best way I can make me feel amazing; why would I want that doughnut? I eliminated the snack drawer at work. Period. Gone.

The best thing I learned about breaking triggers is this. No matter how stressful the day is, how shitty my work situation is, whatever family issues are brewing on the back burner, I can ALWAYS CHOOSE to eat real food. I can prepare and pack food to take to work with me. I can eat something high quality before I go out to a social event, and then at said event, make the best food choice I can.

The moment I realized I was as addicted to sugar as a druggie is to heroin, I was repulsed by my cravings. Repulsed! Still am. Which is awesome cause it keeps my hands out of so many cookie jars, not even funny.

Q: How about a sample day for you before you lost all this weight (what you ate, how you felt, etc..)

A: OMG!! I have so many horrific samples; I’m embarrassed to write them.

For the majority  of my adult life, I was a wife and mother who worked part-time in restaurants during the evening or midnight shifts. My husband worked at a bank; daylight. I was up at 6am; drank coffee; nibbled at whatever the kids were having for breakfast ( handfuls of whatever popular sugary cereal was purchased that week) and nibbled at whatever was being packed for their lunches ( the Oreos or chips ahoy). After every one was out the door, I would have more coffee; talk on the phone while I cleaned up ( nibbling at more of whatever was available).

On days that I was working, I would prepare a simple dinner that could be easily warmed up ( pasta, macaroni and cheese, hot dogs) for the family and eat some myself before going to work. At work; I nibbled constantly at whatever was extra: french fries, ice cream. etc. On days that I was not working,  a huge dinner, including desert, was prepared. I was never one to use things like Hamburger Helper etc, but I still made a ton of “bad” food. Lots of deep-fried and breaded stuff.

Even after I started my Wellness Journey in 2008, I continued to eat TONS of carbs. Dieting in the 90s dictated that. Every thing was low-fat, high fiber, no meat; no fat. I went back to that, and lost 40lbs quickly, however, still had a  huge belly with bloating and gas. Still had skin issues; in fact skin issues got worse. My hair was thinning and brittle. I was thinner, working out, wearing smaller clothes but I still did not “feel” right. I was still eating cereal, by the box load; went thru several boxes a week. I was hungry all the time; I grazed constantly at work on pretzels.

Bottom line: for 30 years I fed my sugar addiction with refined carbs. I was absolutely starving myself while weighing between 250-300 lbs.

Q: How about a sample day after the weight loss?

A: My life is so different now; Since learning about Paleo, my life has completely changed. Meat, eggs, fat, and veg. Done. I make my self an omelet ( spinach, mushrooms, bacon and swiss cheese is my fav), with a side of cooked greens ( kale and swiss chard with onion, squeeze of lemon, cooked in either bacon fat or coconut oil) for breakfast every day. I cook it at night and pack it. For lunch, I pack a meat and veg (thousands of combinations with stir fry’s , salads, roast meat and veg).  I go to the gym after work to do the elliptical a few days a week or come home and do weights.

On the weekends, I indulge in some ice cream. I can buy pints of Ben & Jerry’s; one for me one for hubby. Between Saturday and Sunday, we eat it . I feel NO GUILT for doing that. Since adding meat and fat back into my diet on a daily basis, I am satiated! I feel full..for HOURS, which is wonderful. I am no longer thinking about food constantly; looking for something to take the feeling of hunger away!  Imagine this; sometimes, now, I have to remind my self to eat. I actually get to the point where I feel HUNGER.  Physical hunger pains; not emotional neediness or stress reduction urges to fill my pie hole. Amazing.

Q: How did you measure your progress?

A: Throw away the scale, I mean it! Throw it away and only get weighed at the doctor’s office. I was enslaved to the scale; when I wasn’t terrified to get on it. It is a number and not a true reflection of progress. Right now, I weigh anywhere from 211-220; I have weighed that amount for about two years but I am currently purchasing the smallest size clothing I have worn since graduating from high school.  I am actively building lean muscle mass; the most metabolically active tissue in the human body. While I am building lean muscle mass; I am burning the fat off my body. I could not care less what the scale says when able to put on size 14 pants again.

This journey into wellness has had its stops and starts for me as I have learned lessons. It’s an experiment on myself to figure out what works for me and what doesn’t. If plan A doesn’t do what I expected it would, then I learned to structure plan’s B, C, D and E instead of just throwing in the towel.  I measure my progress now in different ways; yesterday I walked four miles in preparation for the seven I am walking in the Marathon May 5th; I did it easily and without pain. I was able to breathe the entire time; heart beating, oxygen pumping. PROGRESS!   When I first got back to it in 2008, I could barely do the warm up portion on an aerobic workout DVD. I was so out of oxygen, I laid down on my living room floor and tried to catch my breath while the DVD played on.

Q: What are 5 uncommon lessons you would want people to walk away with that they could apply to their journey right now?

1) Unlearn everything you think you know about food and weight loss.  We have been fed a pack of lies. Companies want to sell their products and sell them they do; put them in slick packaging and convince us we need them. Start at square one and educate yourself. Whether vegan or meat-eater like myself, the biggest thing is to put away the franken-food, and learn to eat real food.

2) Convenient is not convenient.  It may be really easy to pull something out of the freezer and pop it into a microwave and then eat it; but what do you gain from that experience? heart disease and diabetes maybe. What is lost is the CONNECTION with our food. What we put in our mouths is the single most important thing if we want to be highly functional human beings.

3) Start where you are and build from there. As mentioned above, I could barely make it past the warm up in a DVD when first starting. Modify, modify, modify everything. Can’t run? Walk. Can’t walk far yet? Sit in a chair and put your hands up and down; do sitting leg lifts until you build enough stamina to walk around the block or the distance between two phone poles.  Do one squat; then do two. Do that every day and before you know it, you are doing 3 sets of 10 squats and walking four miles. Consistency, perseverance, determination, and focus on self are imperative for success but just like a muscle, they need to be built slowly and are occasionally painful.

4) Keep on keeping on, no matter what others say. There will always be Negative Nelly’s and naysayers. There will always be someone somewhere who will scoff at what you are doing, let them. You are not doing this for anyone but yourself. I am not doing this for my husband or my children; they reap many, many benefits from my new-found health and wellness, but at the end of the day, its my effort, its my reward; its’ my body and my health.

5) Weight is not the only thing you lose. Wellness is about more than just weight-loss; it’s a total lifestyle redo. Everything you think and feel will be challenged by what you learn and how your body reacts to new food and exercise.  Motivation is not something we have tons of; it is something we create by doing and accomplishing one goal at a time, so create realistic goals.  There are still only 24 hours a day, so when you add something in; something else needs to be removed. Can’t exercise cause you have obligations every evening doing this, that, or the other thing? Examine that. Re-prioritize and eliminate doing those things that do not serve this goal.  Set yourself up for success by simplifying and streamlining your life. Turn off the TV for an hour in the evening and prepare your meals for the next day.  If relationships aren’t working well, lessen them for now. You don’t have to be rude; you are simply doing something else right now.

Frits Ahlefeldt-Laurvig via Compfight

Q: What are your goals moving forward?

A: In a million years, I  never expected to achieve the kind of success I am currently experiencing. I screwed around for 30 years trying to lose weight. Shifting my perspective, educating myself, creating a realistic plan of action, rewarding myself in other ways beside a celebration meal, challenging myself to do things I would never have been able to do while fat, are all PERMANENT changes. No going back.  I have one and only one goal moving forward;

I will continue to practice wellness from now until the moment I draw my last breath; I will NEVER be 300 pounds again.

Thank you so much for allowing me to tell my story. I don’t think that what I have done is really all that remarkable.  In 2004, when my first husband left, I had the false sense of security pulled from underneath me. I had no idea who I was or how I was going to create a life for myself.  I started by putting one foot  in front of the other. I advanced one lesson, one experience, one failure and one achievement at a time. I eliminated things from my life that created chaos, stress and anxiety (that includes people, but that is a whole nother story) and continue to add in things that give me pleasure, feed my soul, and bring joy to others. I live simply. It’s doable and its sustainable. I hope I can help others to create lives that bring them joy and peace.

Health and Wellness to you. Keep up the good work!

Kimberly

The post Success story: The right mindset makes all the difference. From 300 to 200 and still going. appeared first on Limitless365.

You probably have some pretty amazing ideas, goals, dreams, and ambitions running around in your noodle all the time but how often do you take action on them? Most of us talk the talk but when it comes down to walk the walk the majority are lacking, what gives? It’s really disappointing too because there are some really unique, talented, and inspirational people out there… I’m going to go on a limb and say if you’re reading this that you’re probably one of them.

You may even have had to unearth hidden talents you never knew you had, passions and gifts often are discovered through overcoming personal challenges, breaking through barriers, and pushing past personal limitations that you’ve placed upon yourself. There’s real power in expression and creativity so I say do more of it. Be you, be free, explore, lose yourself in moments, get comfortable your emotions, and find confidence and power in both failure and success.

There’s real power in experiences

I know you’ve felt it before, the excitement, power, confidence, and invincibility that occurs when you are in your element. You know, those times when you’re in the zone, when all your virtues seemed to be aligned and your acting in a way that emphasizes your strengths; you’re around people who help pull it out of you, you’re being challenged, those moments of pure and utter bliss, those moments of flow.

For some of you this may be in the work that you do, while exercising, kicking it with your kids, out in nature on a hike, while listening to some of your favorite tunes, or it may be any combination of those things. It’s those times when you just get lost in within yourself and the environment around you. You feel free, comfortable, and confident expressing emotions and just being yourself.

If you’ve never felt that before, believe you don’t feel it enough, or are unsure of what those moments are for you then you need more experiences. You need to give yourself a platform to be yourself, learn, and experience new things that will challenge you and force you to grow. Personally, I don’t really believe that any experience is either good or bad, it just is, but it’s the way you respond to it that determines how that experience is perceived now and in your future.

So get busy today and define what your ideal life looks like:

Physically
Socially/Relationships
Wealth
Career/Purpose
Spirituality
Creativity/Fun

Have you ever felt complete freedom in any of those areas before where you were acting as your authentic self? If not, how can you create more experiences in those areas that help you to figure it out? Maybe a 30 day nutrition challenge is needed, or trying to read 52 books in 52 weeks, or maybe you need to swim with dolphins, go bungee jumping, or even just let someone know how you feel about them.

Sjoerd van Oosten via Compfight

Look to previous experiences for guidance

Previous experiences can be used to help you dial in if you need help finding your mojo. As I think back a little bit here I notice I seem to have this natural high and enthusiasm after a good adrenaline rush. Skydiving and bungee jumping in particular are two activities that always seem to spark something inside of me that lasts right around 3-4 months. After doing a jump I tend to feel more enthusiastic, confident, and productive in all areas of my life – The work that I’m doing, personal health, my relationships with others, and so on.

I don’t always need some big grand event either to plugin and find my mojo. Often, I can find it by listening to a certain song, getting in a nice bodyweight workout or jog, hanging with my dog Lincoln, or spending time with some really great people.

Start keeping track of events, people, experiences, music, food, whatever it may be that helps you feel free, comfortable, excited, and confident and start creating rituals around those things or people so that you can spend more time with your authentic self. Life gets busy and you may find that you may have to actually schedule those things in, but make them a priority, find the time, the reward you’ll receive from these experiences will be well worth the effort.

Make time to exercise
Connect with people you admire, feel good around, or get energy from
Spent time taking on personal challenges
Learning
Educating others

Whatever it may be that gets those juices flowing.

Be that person, as often as possible

Think for a second about the people you like to be around, go ahead, I’ll wait.

What exactly are they like? Are they optimistic, happy, joyful, confident, persistent, motivating, inspired, enthusiastic, and hopeful? They most likely display some if not most of those characteristics. Pessimism, negativity, and generally unhappy people can be exhausting, it’s physically and mentally difficult to be around them and can seriously affect your health and well-being.

Spend more time with the people you really feed off of and be one of those people for them as well. Be a leader and an example that others can use as a resource for their own search for meaning.

Experiences over possessions every time

I recently read a short but terrific piece over at Psyblog that dealt with the relationship between life experiences, material purchases, and well-being.

“…Which of these two types of spending do you think makes you happier, purchases that are made with the primary intention of acquiring a:

life experience: an event or series of events that one lives through,
material good: a tangible object that is kept in one’s possession.

When thousands of Americans were asked this question, 57% said experiences make them happier and 34% said things make them happier (Carter & Gilovich, 2010). For once the majority is right….”

Why is this? Why do your experiences play such a larger role in your well-being than material purchases do?

• Experiences improve with time because they tend to take on new meanings in our minds, but things just tend to get old.
• People mentally revisit their experiences more than things they’ve bought (Van Boven & Gilovich, 2003). So experiences keep providing pleasure long after the event itself.
• Experiences resist unfavourable comparisons because each is unique. Things, though, are easy to compare unfavourably because they’re similar to other things.
• Also, because experiences tend to be unique, we adapt more slowly to them and adaptation or habituation is the enemy of happiness (Nicolao et al., 2009).
• Experiences tend to be social and social events (generally) make us happy. Things are often not that social.

Here’s a link to that full article with some extended resources to check out. Well worth the next 15 minutes of your life.

Your experiences don’t always need to be grand events, they can be simple pleasures that can be accomplished every day.

• write
• go on a walk
• dance
• create some art
• be a kid again
• eat with your hands
• visit a gallery or play
• write a letter to someone

Just do something you have never done, or maybe haven’t done in a while, and hell; invite someone to join in on the experience with you.

We only see the masterpieces

Welcome the bad ideas and the bad experiences. Picasso didn’t only create masterpieces, he’s got a few duds in there too. The only way to find that masterpiece is to question and experiment with everything. You’ll find what works, what doesn’t, what you like, and what you don’t – You build a repertoire of knowledge and resources to build upon.

Continue to get comfortable with the uncomfortable, this is not something that will happen overnight, it’s a journey and a journey that may never really end. Either way your on it and you might as well make enjoy as much of it as possible. Here’s to experiences… go get some.

What is something you have always wanted to do? What’s keeping you from doing it. Let me help destroy every excuse imaginable.

Live limitless,

Justin

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The post Have more experiences: The power of doing stuff appeared first on Limitless365.

Love with a chance of drowning: My fearful adventure

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control.

Is it better to know or to not know? Whatever side of the fence you stand on; or maybe you’re a straddler, regardless I recently finished up a book by Torre DeRoche titled Love with a chance of drowning that addresses this topic. It’s a true account of Torre’s journey from the life of a city girl with a fear of open water to facing her fears and finding love and adventure on a journey across the pacific.

I’m not going to summarize the book for you, a summary would be boring and besides, real life stories are way cooler. So in the spirit of Torre’s book I’d like to share with you my fearful adventure regarding love and vulnerability and invite you to do the same.

Lets talk about FATE baby, lets talk about YOU and ME, lets talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be, lets talk about FATE…

(sung in my best Salt N’ Peppa voice)

Essentially fate is a concept of time and circumstance in which everything has a destination, is predetermined, and happens for a reason. Events are outside a persons control and determined by some supernatural or higher power. Some believe this to be Gods work, some other entity, or just the powers of the universe. Honestly, it doesn’t matter a ton where your beliefs in fate lie the main principle is that you believe things are out of your control.

In Greek mythology this is known as the Moirai. The Moirai holds that three goddesses Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos controlled the life and destiny of every living person. Clotho was responsible for starting life, Lachesis duty was to tell the story, and Astropos concluded when life would end.

I’m not going to beat around the bush; I’m not convinced that everything happens for a reason. I prefer to believe that I have a choice in how my life plays out. Now this is where it might get a little crazy for some of you, but I like crazy so here goes.

I’d like you to take a minute to think about this question. What if fate had unexpected plans for you?

Yup, I’m saying what if fate didn’t really have a plan. What if fate was sitting in his chair, stroking his cat, raised his pinky to the corner of his mouth and had no clue what it has in store for you.

What if fate, who now strangely enough looks like doctor evil just wants to throw stuff at a wall, see what sticks, and enjoy the ride as you try to make choices, figure it out, and experience this journey known as life?

I know that sort of seems ass-backwards as the entire concept of fate is based around everything happening for a reason but if that’s the case why not just sit on our fannies twiddling our thumbs and let life take it’s course?

The answer is because we can’t.

To believe that everything happens for a reason in the traditional sense completely undermines the experience of life. You have the ability to make choices and take action every single day towards any goal, pursuit, need, or want and to think for a second that your choices don’t matter because they are condemned to an inevitable end is the definition of giving up in my eyes.

Now before I get to long winded, or is it to late for that? I’d like to move forward with respect to the book. Torre breaks down each chapter into the elements that defined her reality and experiences at that moment in time. Those elements are fire, water, air, earth, and two years later as chapters of her book.

For this post I’d like to do something similar and define my own personal fear, thoughts, and action plan to overcome that fear. There’s no sense in pretending that I, you, or anyone else has no fear. We’re all afraid of something, and here’s to hoping you find my fear useful in your own quest to overcome yours.

Jody Sticca via Compfight

Fire

Fire to me represents love. Passionate, hot, comforting but dangerous, and can be either beautiful like a lit candle in a dark quiet room, or painful like the touch of a hot iron on the skin.

Recently in my own life and amongst conversations with others I’ve come to realize that most of us have no bigger concern, struggle, questions, and uncertainty than when it comes to love and relationships.

So here goes… I’m scared of it. Not just scared but scared shitless. I’m terribly afraid of the idea of commitment and allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable to another. All those what-ifs set in.

• What if I’m not good looking enough?
• What if I don’t make enough money?
• What if I’m not funny or entertaining enough?
• What if I fall in love and get hurt
• What if I invest all this time into someone and it doesn’t work out
• What if they cheat on me?
• What about all the other people/relationships/sex I’ll be missing out on
• What if… queue the world’s smallest violin playing just for me

This is my inherent problem with love, I am constantly thinking about all the things all the struggles, all of the negative aspects and uncertainty of what love might bring me, all of the things I’ll be missing out on and forgetting all about the wonderful opportunities it can promote and bring to my life.

• The comfort but excitement
• The challenges and personal growth
• The opportunity to contribute to someone else’s existence in a positive manor
• The companionship
• The energy yet calm it brings
• The health benefits
• The euphoria

So what am I doing to address my fear?

I’m changing my definition of it. I use to believe that there was only one true love for each of us out there, that any other person would just be second rate. I considered this to be romantic and the movies and television did a great job encouraging my position.

Today my definition has changed; I see love as a choice that we are all blessed to make. Instead of having only one person we are destined to be with we instead get to choose who we want to love and be with and someone else gets to choose to love and be with you.

How cool is that?

Instead of it being predetermined you actually get to choose and someone actually gets to choose you. To me that is as romantic as it comes. Out of all the 7 billion plus people anyone of us could be with we have the ability to decide who we want to compliment us and help us to grow in this world where it can often feel so difficult to do so.

I’m studying love. It’s true, I’m reading as many books (contact me for a list) and talking to as many experts that I can about the topic. The scariest things in the world are often those that we don’t understand, it’s my goal to create a breadth of knowledge so that I become as familiar and comfortable with the topic as possible.

I’m accepting it. I use to be one of those people that was uncomfortable receiving gifts from others, awkward when someone would try to compliment me, and very withdrawn when someone showed me any form of affection.

If I didn’t accept it I wouldn’t have to give it back right?

All this does is push people away. If someone shows you love say thanks, that’s it, all you have to do is let him or her know you appreciate it by saying thank you and that you’re grateful. Most people don’t show love with the expectation of receiving it in return; they do it simply to do it because they care.

I’m practicing it, slowly. I’m trying to build the habit of love by doing something kind for someone else on a daily basis, by practicing gratitude daily, and by doing something for myself everyday as well.

I’m also being more honest with people and myself. Saying what’s on my mind and freely expressing my emotions as they come, crying, laughing, and even anger. I use to do these things in the company of only myself. I guess you could say I’m keeping it real… just me being me more often.

I’m getting rejected more often. This might sound weird but I’m actually looking to get rejected…. And not just by women ☺ in all areas of my life. I’m trying to get more comfortable with failure, a little pain, and discomfort. The goal is to experience short-term discomfort so that I can have long-term success.

This is something I’ve done a bit of in the past by taking cold showers, or negotiating the price of a cup of coffee (thanks Julien). But recently I’ve come to find that I still need a little more practice. I came across a website called rejectiontherapy.com in which rejection is turned into a game. Long story short the goal is to get rejected in some sort of fashion everyday for the next 30 days… yeah, sounds like fun huh?

Whenever I want some clarity on a subject I like to take some time out by myself and journal on the subject, I’ve found that getting all those thoughts, emotions, and questions circling around in my head on paper is some of the best therapy of all.

I’m checking my ego at the door. I’m setting free any idea that I have to be flawless or perfect. The people I have the most respect and admiration for in my own life are those that are consistently true to their authentic self. They’re comfortable in their own skin, embrace their failures, imperfections, and happy to share them. They spend more time learning from them then they do trying to avoid them.

Lastly

A few weeks ago I spent an evening down by the beach and scribbled down on a piece of paper this question.

“Is the reward of love greater than the risk of being completely vulnerable?”

We’ve all been hurt before, experienced pain, felt alone, depressed, or like no one can relate. We all have unique fears but for the most part many of us share the same fears and insecurities. So that guy sitting next to you in the coffee shop, you’re coworker in the next cubicle, your buddy that you had dinner with last night, and the cute girl or guy you met the other day all have something in common with you, me, and each other.

The opportunity for us to continually improve and learn from one another is out there. We all can get better at being human if we just allow ourselves.

So back to that original discussion of fate, is my experience with love predetermined, is it something that is already laid out and planned for me? I prefer to not think so. I have a choice in the matter, the way I want to experience love and personal relationships is completely up to me.

I’m not so much committed to fate as I am to the opportunity to direct my own life through my choices and actions, especially when it comes to love. How about you?

Live limitless,

Justin

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Here’s the link to Torre’s book if you all are interested in checking it out. I might just start doing this with some of the books I love. If you have any recommendations for me please give me a shout so I can add them to my reading list.

This post is part of the My Fearful Adventure series, which is celebrating the launch of Torre DeRoche’s debut book Love with a Chance of Drowning, a true adventure story about one girl’s leap into the deep end of her fears.

“Wow, what a book. Exciting. Dramatic. Honest. Torre DeRoche is an author to follow.” Australian Associated Press

“… a story about conquering the fears that keep you from living your dreams.” Nomadicmatt.com

“In her debut, DeRoche has penned such a beautiful, thrilling story you’ll have to remind yourself it’s not fiction.” Courier Mail

Find out more…

The post Love with a chance of drowning: My biggest fear. appeared first on Limitless365.

For many of us most of our days are filled with specific routines that have become almost second nature, I hate to say that they’re insignificant but that’s what they can feel like sometimes. You’re probably so use to doing them that it requires very little energy or thought to accomplish them anymore. This could be anything from the drive to work, to the food you eat, how you get your kids ready, the tasks you perform throughout the day, daily interactions with other people or your significant other, and right on down to the way you end your day and prepare for bed.

To break up these routines every once in a while you may spend some time reminising with friends or even by yourself as a way to remind yourself that life is meaningful and worthwhile. Looking back on past experiences is something I’ve always done as a way to boost my morale, create bursts of excitement  and passion, strengthen social relationships, and enhance my mood. Music in particular is one way that I have found can dramatically alter my mood in any given moment.

The word Nostalgia comes from the greek word nostos, which means homecoming or return to and algos, which refers to pain or ache. So essentially the word means ” a return to pain.” I found this to be extremely interesting as I feel most of us associate the word with “the good old days.” With that being said, certain memories, thoughts, songs, people, food, and experiences can force us into nostalgia that is more fitting with the traditional sense of the word.

You probably don’t have a tough time reminiscing about “the good ol’days,” but what about when those certain moments pop up that create angst, fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, or attachment? How can the art of learning to let go help not only with past memories and experiences but also help you to build a more confidant, strong, determined, and healthier version of yourself in the future – a person that spends more time living there authentic self?

We all want the same thing

Turn to your right, or left, or just lift your head up so that you can see another person… if there is no one around just picture someone else mentally. You and that person; hell all of us want the same thing – to feel better. It’s in your nature as a human being and is rooted into your primal DNA code to want to be safe, secure, successful, respected and to avoid failure, pain, uncertainty, and rejection. All of us want to be:

• healthier
• happier
• more successful
• have better relationships
• be more creative
• have more exciting experiences

Fill in what you want more of right here _________________, I’m sure the majority of us want that too.

Sometimes, in order to do this you may revisit past experiences (I do myself quite a bit). At the heart of it there is nothing wrong with this, nostalgia is important because it can make you feel better almost in an instant. It’s when holding on to certain memories, thoughts, feelings, or items produce pain, stress, or make you feel bad that the concept of learning to let go or refraining from attachment comes into play.

Nostalgia shouldn’t be revisited in order to avoid the present, which is something many of us do (myself in included). One way in which you may do this is through constant worrying, worrying about what you ate, your job, your relationships, your finances, and so on. We worry to avoid future discomfort, and in a sense if we worry enough, or create enough problems, stress, or suffering for ourselves it gives us identity. This is why you may replay mistakes, shame, or identify so strongly with regrets.

Matt Batchelor via Compfight

Why we do it, hold on that is

If you truly want to be successful you have to be optimistic and relentless about pursuing your future. You can’t waste any time or energy on the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s of the world. If you’re not happy something in the world doesn’t need to change, you need to change. This is when it’s time to let go of all the:

• Not worthy enoughs
• Saying yes to everything
• Keeping promises that you’ve outgrown
• Standards and the status quo
• Trap of validation
• Regrets
• Uncertainties

It’s time to let go of behaviors, people, and possessions that may have worked in the past for you but are no longer working for you in the present; easier said than done – right? As we get older it seems that this gets more and more difficult and we hold on to more and more. This tends to happen at some point in our twenties to early thirties, and many psychologists and philosophers have contributed it to the major changes that most of us experience during this time.

• Choosing our major or what we are going to do with the rest of our life
• Serious relationships and breakups
• The end of our careers as full-time students and pressures of the “real world”
• First “real job”
• First purchases (car, home, pet, etc…)
• Marriage for many and kids for some

Adulthood gets real pretty damn fast, schedules, appointments, responsibilities take over and almost seem like they consume us.

Attachment sets in and it gets hard to let go because time has helped us to build strong memories and emotional connections with people and possessions, the money we’ve spent on things causes an endowment effect, the concept of “more is better” has been ingrained in us, and we become afraid to let anything go because we’ve convinced ourselves that we will use it or need it in the future… the truth is that Walkman you’ve been holding on to is not going to get used today, tomorrow, or anytime in the foreseeable future. When we’ve consumed something, wether it be people, food, a purchase, or memory it gets hard to move on, a bond as been permanently created with it and we have somehow created a sense of identity with it.

“We want what we want, and once we have it, we want it to stay the same.”

A pen and a lottery ticket

In a study conducted by Bar-Hillel & Neter, in 1996 it was shown just how much the possibility of regret can affect our decision-making.

“…In this study participants were given lottery tickets—not real ones, but organised by the researchers so that one person could win. Then they were asked if they would be willing to exchange them for another one which had an identical chance of winning (Bar-Hillel & Neter, 1996). To encourage them to switch tickets, they were offered a tasty truffle. Even though there was no difference between the tickets and there was a treat as an incentive, less than 50% of participants agreed.

Then the experiment was repeated with different participants, except this time, instead of lottery tickets, participants were given pens. As before they were offered a small incentive to make the switch. In this condition 90% of participants agreed to the swap.

Why the huge difference?

What is going on is that a pen is just a pen, but a lottery ticket is not just a lottery ticket. No matter what, all the pens are identical, but only one lottery ticket will actually win, although before the draw they all have the same chance of winning. What this means is that we can start using our imaginations, projecting ourselves forward into the future and thinking about possible consequences.

What if we decide to swap our lottery ticket and then it turns out to be the winning one? How will we feel then? It’s this anticipation of regret that stops people swapping their tickets…” adapted from psyblog

Why is this study important and what does regret have to do with learning to let go? Well, I think it has everything to do with it because we tend to view regret ass-backwards. Typically regret is seen as an emotion related to the past – you may regret past decisions, actions, or choices – but really regret is a forward thinking emotion as it affects your behavior in the present, right here, and right now. When you anticipate feelings of regret you’ll do anything and everything to avoid feeling that way – you become paralyzed, freeze, no action is taken, nothing gets done, and you’re right back where you started.

The what-ifs set in

The I’ll be _____________ when ______________ shows up

It’s your security blanket

Passion and excitement that you may have been feeling start to where off as you think about previous decisions you have made.

Everything starts to feel so permanent, experiences, places, people, choices, but the only thing that is ever permanent is impermanence. Everything is changing, you, me, your best friend, jobs, relationships, feelings, emotions, attitudes, desires, the kitchen sink – life evolves and if you don’t keep up with it you’ll be left behind.

Today is as good a day as any other

You know something, we’re all on the same team. There’s no competition, we all want exactly the same damn things out of this world – to reduce pain and suffering and to increase happiness and constantly be improving as human beings. Part of that evolution of getting better at being human is learning to let go every once in a while. You don’t need to let go of everything but often your life can get filled with clutter and distractions, not only with possessions but with emotions and people as well.

1. Take photos: Instead of holding on to physical items, people, etc… take photos and store them at places like Flickr or Picassa.
2. Start journaling: One of the most beneficial things I have ever done is to start journaling. Take 5-10 minutes each night to just review your day. What went right, what went wrong, how can you improve on these things in the future, what cool people did you connect with, or what things to you want to remember. The written word lasts a lifetime.
3. Specifically for: Keep a box, drawer, or single closet for things you want to hold onto. That’s it, just the one and no more, what ever you can fit in here you’re allowed to keep. If it gets full it’s time to go through it and evaluate what needs to stay and what needs to go.
4. Half-hearted people: It’s hard to let go of personal relationships, with lovers, friends, or family members. Emotions can really cloud your judgement and make it difficult to make decisions that are almost clear as day. If people in your life are energy zappers it’s time to set them free.
5. You’re smarter than you think: Human intuition is a powerful thing, take it seriously. If you feel it in your gut take the time to listen. How important will this thing, person, place, whatever be to you in an hour, 3 months from now, a year from now, five years from now, forever from now ?

It’s important to hold on to certain memories, feelings, people, and things but it’s just as important to remember that you’ll be creating new memories, feelings, meeting new people, and experience new things almost daily – new will replace the old and as a constantly evolving person there’s only room for so much. Let yourself experience growth by making room for it, perform a little personal inventory, what are you holding onto that is keeping you from becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be?

Live limitless,

Justin

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As a kid growing up I loved the show Scoobie-Doo and believe it or not it actually taught me some valuable life lessons, especially when it comes to being prepared for the munchies. Whoaa, I know what you’re thinking but I’m being serious here, the real munchies, those times when you’re caught without a meal and starv’n Marv’n (no offense to any Marvin’s out there).

I use to really struggle to stay Paleo while traveling; trying to find healthy alternatives while on the road, airport, and at restaurants was such a headache. I found myself always trying to find some amazing Paleotastic meal when all I really needed was to keep it simple and stay with the basics. Below are some hacks I’ve come across over the years that I wanted to share with you all so you can keep your Paleo-swerve going when you hit the road.

Snack Attack: Staying Healthy In A Pinch

It’s going to happen now and then. You’ll loose track of time and forget to prepare your meals, go dining out with friends, have to stop at a gas station because you’re starving, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel on your healthy eating plan. This is a great opportunity to get creative with your food and create some amazing Paleo friendly concoctions.

But first, make sure you are taking the steps day in and day out to be ready for anything.

Cook in bulk. Instead of cooking one meal at a time or three to four meals for the day why not cook enough for the next three to four days or even for the week? Pre cook meat and separate it into Tupperware. With veggies you can eat most raw so chopping them up and separating them into individual containers is always a great idea or if you prefer cooked veggies you can had a few tablespoons of water and heat them in the microwave quickly. Add a tablespoon or two of olive oil and you are ready to roll.

Another big help is cooking pots of Chili or Stir-fry. You can usually cook enough to last you for the week. These come in handy when you need something quick and don’t have time to cook

Be prepared. This is going to take work. You’re going to have to plan ahead of time. The biggest reason people fail is because they don’t plan ahead of time. Start your day or end your night with a GET HEALTHY CHECKLIST. This is a great way to make sure you are ready for the next day, road trips, travel, and other hiccups that may present themselves.

1. Are all my meals and snacks prepared for tomorrow
2. What are some possible hiccups in the road tomorrow that might cause a miss step in my Paleo plan? How can I be prepared for them?
3. Do I have a water container or two full and ready to roll with me throughout the day?

prayitno via Compfight

Paleo-fy your automobile.

There is a good chance you spend a lot of your time either commuting or in your car in general. There have been many times when I’ve found myself thirsty as all get up or starving beyond belief. Keep bottled water in your car at all-times. Often when you are hungry it is really just thirst that needs to be quenched.

But just in case some car friendly foods are raw nuts and beef jerky. You can often keep them in the glove compartment and they will be just fine.

Keep some utensils in there is well. Plastic forks, knives, spoons, and napkins can come in pretty handy.

Make the best of the worst.

You might be Paleo but maybe your kids are not (think about converting them please). So a McDonald’s trip might be in your future. You might have to eat meat or veggies cooked in seed oils, but try to make the best of the worst.

• Grab your burger with out the bun
• Avoid sauces of all kinds (ketchup, soy, mustard, mayo, dressings, etc..). There is usually added sugar or gluten in there somehow.
• If you handle dairy well this is a good opportunity to take in some cheese but don’t over do it. A string cheese or two as a snack in a pinch should be sufficient.
• Berries are a good choice or an apple if in a pinch.
• Stick with proteins and veggies as often as possible.

elana’s pantry via Compfight

Being a guest.

So your friends are nice enough to house you for a few nights or maybe you are staying with some family or friends that are not quite Paleo. You want to be a considerate guest and avoid stepping on any toes. Food can become very personal and some can get very defensive if you reject their food.

The most important thing you can do is to let them know well in advance of your lifestyle choices and why you eat the way you do and why exactly it is important to you. Offer to purchase groceries and pitch in with cooking, or see if it’s possible for you to make cook your own separate meals.

If worse comes to worse think about staying in a nearby hotel. The last thing you want to do is have an uncomfortable environment for everyone due to food choices.

Nutritional approaches can be as polarizing as politics and religion. If you want others to respect your nutritional choices you also have to accept theirs.

Restaurants

When you’re on the road or if you just like to get out and grab a meal from time to time with some pals restaurants can be a little confusing for some when it comes to making solid Paleo choices.

Lets make it clear that our first option is always to prepare meals ahead of time and to eat homemade food whenever possible. However, there will be times when you feel like the need to take a break from cooking, have a business lunch, just plain forget, or numerous other reasons.

This is no excuse to fall of the wagon and abandon your healthy eating plan. This is the perfect time to test yourself, apply what you have learned, and to make healthy choices. Who knows, you it may even give you the opportunity to share your new healthy strategies with your lunch date and add a little sum’n-sum’n to the conversation.

Eating out and sticking to your plan is actually very simple. Most restaurants have plenty of healthy options if you just take the time to scan the menu. Most have a “healthy menu or even gluten free section.” Take a look at it to see if there are any options that fit what we are looking for as defined by this guide. Here are a few tips to make sure you dine out healthy.

Quick Tips:

1. Order items from the Real Food Chart. Emphasize lean protein sources and salmon.
2. Ask them to remove (politely) any carbohydrates (i.e.: potato, rice, bread, etc…) and instead fill the plate with veggies. If you just happened to workout (within the hour) a sweet potato should be fine or fruit if it is a breakfast. Just enjoy it plain and not fully loaded.
3. See if they can prepare any of the food with olive oil. Most restaurants use industrial seed oil… YIKES!
4. Instead of an appetizer or free bread ask if you can have a plate of veggies or side salad.
5. If the serving is really large ask if you can have a to-go box right away and actually put half of the meal in the box before you start to eat.
6. Drink water only at the meal and try to finish one glass before you start eating.

An example dinner/lunch out would be:

• Salmon
• Double serving of vegetables or big ass salad
• Hopefully prepared in olive oil (if not, it’s ok)

An example breakfast out would be:

• Omelet (ask how many eggs, 3-4 is perfect)
• Loaded with veggies (go cheese free)
• If it comes with pancakes, toast, etc… ask them to 86 it and add a small side of fruit preferably berries.

But what if I am going to a specific ethnic restaurant?

If you’re a human being you probably go out to eat with friends, family, or strangers if that’s your thing. Restaurant food cam wreck havoc on a nutrition plan. Many folks I know just say the heck with it when they go out to eat and end up overdoing and really falling off the wagon. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Below I took the guess-work out of what to order when at various ethnic restaurants. You might have to play a game of 20 questions with your waiter or waitress but don’t stress. You are paying for service after all right?

Final notes
Don’t be bashful here. Take this opportunity to share what you are learning with others around you. Suggest a healthier restaurant that will be able to provide you with options that will fit your nutrition plan.

Don’t be afraid to speak up while there. Ask politely if they can prepare a dish a certain way, to take away items, or add healthier items to it. If they can not, don’t stress. Have you been eating really well 80 to 90% of the time? If you have, a little off the wagon will not kill you.

Do your research before you go by hopping online and checking out the restaurant’s menu. You can also take advantage of a really cool app called Paleo GoGo which will recommend Paleo options for over 300 of the leading chain restaurants.

Jonathan Pincas via Compfight

Healthy snacks when in a pinch or on the run

Whether at the airport, gas station, or little mom and pop there are always some easy Paleo options you can grab. Make sure to invest a little change in a decent cooler so that you can easily store perishables for a day if needed.

• Smoked Salmon: Make sure it is soy-free
• Nuts: Emphasize macadamia, hazelnut, and almonds
• Raw veggies: Celery, broccoli, Bell peppers, cucumber, etc…
• Fruits: Emphasize berries (strawberry, raspberry, blackberry, etc..) limit tropical fruit as much as possible (ie: banana, mango, papaya, pineapple, etc..)
• Grass-fed jerky: Usually will have to order or get at the farmers market. Store bought stuff contains all kinds of junk.
• Cheese: If you tolerate dairy well.
• Hard-boiled eggs: Store in a cool place
• Olives: Goes well with raw veggies, hard cheeses, smoked salmon
• Canned salmon or tuna: Use in a lettuce wrap, mix with avocado, or olives
• Salads: You can almost always get a salad somewhere, even a gas station. You may have to eat it dry but check to see if there is some olive oil or coconut oil available.

If you’re traveling by car  make sure to stay active by pulling over every few hours to loosen the limbs a little bit. You can easily put together your own bodyweight routine by using the DIY workout chart or taking advantage of some of the groovy workout we have put together on this site. Hell, you can even get a workout in if you’re stuck at the DMV.

Look for healthy, not amazing

Beggars can’t be choosers especially when on the road or when in a pinch. Instead of looking for the amazing Paleo friendly snack or meal while traveling or on the run opt instead for the simple options that will get you to the next meal you can prepare yourself. Remember to focus on consistency above all else and make the best choices you can in any given situation. The food you eat is always a choice, the only way it gets in your mouth is if you put it there.

Commit to being consistent this week in all your ventures What are some ways you can guarantee to you take one small step towards whatever goal it is you are trying to achieve?

Live limitless,

Justin

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Every now and then I like to have some friends stop by and drop some awesome nuggets on you guys. Well, this is no exception. Get your abs and your grub on today with a taco recipe guaranteed to blow your mind.

This is an excerpt from Los Paleo: Mexican Paleo Recipes, a Marla Sarris creation.

Shred Your Butt Tacos: A Los Paleo Recipe

Mmm….tacos.

They’re absolutely delicious, but with ingredients such as beans, rice, tortillas and sour cream, there’s no way that tacos can be considered paleo…

…or can they?

With a little work, you can make tacos not only paleo, but abso-freaking-lutely delicious. I’d like to introduce you to the Shred Your Butt Tacos – pork butt tacos that are as good as they sound.

Put on your apron & lets start cooking!

Shred Your Butt Tacos

Mild
Serves: 2

This recipe for “Shred Your Butt Tacos” is absolutely delicious. With a mild flavor, this recipe serves 2 (you can always make more), but before you get to cooking, you’re going to need a few ingredients:

Ingredients:

• 2 cups shredded pork butt, cooked
• 1 head boston lettuce, leaves washed and separated
• 1/2 cup carrot, shredded
• 1/2 cup purple cabbage, shredded
• 1 avocado, sliced
• 1 mango, sliced
• fresh cilantro
• 1 lime, juiced
• sea salt, to taste

Directions:

1. In a small to medium size saucepan warm pork over medium to medium-high heat. Be sure to stir the meat so it doesn’t burn on the bottom.
2. Carefully tear leaves off the head of boston lettuce, wash and pat dry with a paper towel then set aside.
3. Spoon warmed shredded pork into boston leaves.
4. Top each pork taco with shredded carrot, shredded purple cabbage, 1-2 slices of avocado, 1-2 slices of mango each and finish it off with 1-2 strips of fresh cilantro.
5. For a quick hit of citrus, squeeze a few drops of fresh lime juice from a lime on top and a pinch of sea salt.
6. Serve and enjoy!

As mentioned above, this serves two, but if you’re like most people, you might want to make a few more once you realize how tasty these are (plus it’s a sure-fire way to make some new friends).

Los Paleo, by Marla Sarris contains 42 of the most delicious Paleo versions to traditional mexican dishes you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Paleo & Mexican together at last. Find out more here.

Joel Runyon is the author of Impossible HQ as well as Ultimate Paleo Guide, a new paleo guide chock full of great paleo resources + recipes for paleo newbies & veterans alike.

Let us know if you’ve tried the recipe in the comments below.

Live limitless,

Justin, Joel, and Marla

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