LIFT: Limpeh Is Foreign Talent

Please don't take it personally...

2013-06-19T20:24:00.001+01:00

Hi readers. I am going to share a story from some time back just to illustrate a kind of Singaporean behaviour I came across quite recently online. Sure the story may be old but the attitude is still around (unfortunately). This happened back in 1996 when I was in the army and I was out with one of my army friends (like call him Boon) at a hawker centre in town. We were approached by a rather elderly Australian couple who asked us for help. The elder gentleman asked me, "we want to get a taste of Singaporean hawker food but we don't quite know where to start or what to order. Could you tell us what we should try please?"

So between Boon and I, we rattled off some of our favourite hawker dishes that we both enjoyed, we were only too happy to help. But rather than trying explain what they were, we walked with the Aussie couple from store to store, pointing to the various dishes being sold there. My friend Boon recommended some quintessentially Singaporean dishes: laksa, chilli crab, satay, sambal stingray, rojak, fish head curry and otak. These are dishes that I do adore too (apart from fish head curry, please give me a better cut of fish and not the head!).

A local favourite: otah (otak-otak)

The Australians politely said no to all of Boon's suggestions for one simple reason: these were all very spicy and being elderly Aussies, they were not accustomed to spicy Asian food. What we would consider mildly spicy (like satay or rojak) was downright fiery to them. Boon felt hurt when the Aussie couple refused to try any of his suggestions, but I offered them non-spicy alternatives: chicken rice (without the chilli sauce), popiah (again, leave out the chilli sauce), chai tau kway (again, without any chilli sauce), bak kut teh, yong tau hoo (no chilli sauce please) followed by ice kachang, tau huay and bobochaha.

I helped the Australians narrow down their choices to just a few items that they could finish between the two of them and even helped them order, because they wanted me to tell the hawker "uncle mai pang hiam hor, kum siah". I even taught them how to say, "mai hiam" (Hokkien, "don't want chilli") so they can avoid spicy food for the rest of their stay in Singapore. Whilst helping them order, I engaged them in small talk about where they had visited and where else they should go. They were singing praises about how clean and beautiful Singapore was, how easy it was to get around town on public transport and how it was a very tourist-friendly city. After that, they insisted on buying Boon and I some popiah and chai tau kuay - how sweet, I thought. I guess Singaporeans are only too happy to offer advice on food without expecting anything in return, but there you go.

Singaporean chicken rice

Boon glared at me as I sat down with the popiah and chai tau kuay. I asked him why he was refusing to touch either dishes as I knew he liked both popiah and chai tau kuay. "Angmor 的 popiah,我不要..." I looked at him and I was like, "Lr gong simi jiao ueh, simi Angmor 的... Popiah 就是Popiah what, simi Angmor ye popiah lah. Xiao ah lr." ("What the hell are you talking about, what white man's - a popiah is a popiah, it is not the white man's popiah. You're nuts.")

It seems that Boon had taken offence at the fact that the Aussie had taken my suggestions but not his. He claimed that the Aussies had "kwa suay" (Hokkien: "looked down upon") our favourite Singaporean dishes like laksa and rojak. I pointed out to him that they were just sitting a few tables away, happily feasting on non-spicy young tau hoo, chicken rice, chai tau kway and popiah; and that they had just been singing praises of Singapore a few minutes ago. Boon then said, "Lr zai Angmor gong har, when in Rome, do as the Romans do - so when in Singapore, they should eat like Singaporeans and not claim that they cannot jiat hiam (hokkien: "eat chilli") what."

The Australians treated me to some popiah.

I tried to explain to Boon that just because they didn't like some aspects of Singaporean culture or cuisine doesn't mean that they hate Singapore, are anti-Singapore or dislike Singaporeans. Heck, even Singaporeans don't wholeheartedly like every single aspect of Singaporean life. Boon would often complain about everything from the haze to NS to the transport system to the government to the education system - yet when an Australian said no to laksa, he couldn't wait to play the race card. Heck, even my sister who is as Singaporean as they come isn't fond of spicy food - whenever we go to the hawker centre, she would always tell the hawker, "uncle, gwa mai hiam hor, kum siah."

Boon then said that the Aussies listen to me because I spoke like an Angmor whilst they ignored him because he spoke like a Singaporean. How can I put this delicately... Boon had a very strong Singaporean accent which rendered his English rather hard to understand for the Aussies - it wasn't that they looked down on his English, they just struggled to understand him, especially when he lapsed into Singlish. So when he said, "de laksa inside got see hum one, very nice one." The elderly Aussie woman smiled awkwardly and said, "Sorry, the one what?" Clearly, she didn't have a clue what Boon was saying - after all, see hum is not even an English word, it is a Hokkien word.

Got see hum one.

Well, before I could point that out to Boon, he accused me of being "hao lian" (Hokkien: pretentious or arrogant) by "talking like an Angmor". You see, Boon and I are Chinese-speaking friends who usually didn't even speak to each other in English. Typically, we spoke in a mish-mash of Mandarin and Hokkien with a bit of English and Malay mixed in, aka Singadarin (our unique brand of Singaporean Mandarin). What was Boon expecting me to do, speak to the Aussie couple in Hokkien or Singlish? No, I had simply switched to a mode of international standard English when engaging with two elderly foreigners to make sure that they could understand exactly what I was saying.

Boon sulked and refused to touch the popiah and chai tau kuay - that was his gesture of protests because he was convinced that the two Australians were racists and looked down on him. Oh he took it very personally when the Australian woman didn't understand him and I was frustrated as I was unable to convince him that those two Australians were not racist. I thought, fine be immature and childish if you want Boon, I shall enjoy the popiah and chai tau kuay on my own, more for me then!

Oh I love the Singaporean hawker centre experience

Now why did I share this story from 1996 with you today? Whilst this story was from many years ago, I did encounter the very same attitude from another Singaporean blogger just last week - he had taken the trouble to write a piece about me on his blog, attacking me for being anti-Singapore. I tried to reason with him, I am not anti-Singapore or anti-Singaporean. I am very specifically anti-PAP. If you are amongst the 60.14% who voted for the PAP, then I have an axe to grind with you. But if you're not, then clearly I have nothing against you personally. Now here's the irony: this blogger isn't pro-PAP at all, in fact, he isn't a PAP supporter. Yet like Boon, he took it very personally that I didn't like this one aspect of Singapore.

I recall the reactions I received from an article I wrote earlier this year about how people from around the world see Singapore. Sure the comments were overwhelmingly positive, but there was one Belgian guy who wasn't impressed by the HDB flats he saw as he was comparing it to the kind of housing he was used to back in Belgium. Oh Singaporeans reacted very, very angrily to that comment on Facebook and social media, accusing that Belgian guy of all kinds of nasty things, playing the race card. What? How can this be about racism? All he said was that he didn't like the HDB flats, what has this got to do with racism? How can you even turn this into a racist issue - and unless you personally work for the HDB, why do you have to be so defensive about the quality of public housing in Singapore?

Do you like HDB flats?

This boils down to a phenomena known as confirmation bias - where people tend to favour information that confirms their beliefs. I have already talked about this in one of my previous posts, where my dad exhibits classic confirmation bias when it comes to his blatant racism about French people. Some Singaporeans are insecure and some are racist, when you get a Singaporean who is both insecure and racist that's a pretty bad combination that leads to them being paranoid about the way foreigners view Singapore. They will take a stance of assumed mutual hostility, ie. they don't like white people and they assume (quite wrongly) that there is no way a white person can possibly like them. Hence in this story, Boon was selectively picking any kind of 'evidence' to demonstrate that this two Australians 'looked down' on Singaporeans whilst ignoring any evidence to the contrary. Why do some people then assume that I am anti-Singapore or I don't like Singapore?

Let me say it once and for all - I don't hate Singapore. I am from Singapore, I was born and bred in Singapore and there will always be a very special place in my heart for the country where I came from. However, I have an intense hatred for the PAP and combined with a desire to experience all that this wonderful planet has to offer, I have ended up in different countries over the years (including a stint in Singapore in 2011). I am hardly alone in my intense dislike for the PAP - so if you want to attack me for my anti-PAP stance, then fair enough. But please do not accuse me of being anti-Singapore for I have never ever been anti-Singapore. The PAP does not speak on behalf of all Singaporeans - certainly, not all Singaporeans voted for the PAP (well 60.14% did) and many of those who are too young to vote actively support the opposition.

Well at least these Singaporeans are not afraid to talk about these tricky issues...

So there you go, I have said my piece. I do get the feeling I am preaching to the choir, my faithful readers do understand me and I appreciate that. Those who hate me will ignore this heartfelt, honest statement from me and choose to believe what they wanna believe. Heck, I don't mind if people hate me, I never really cared about being popular - but I draw the line when people make up bullshit about me (as one blogger did, good grief). If you wanna hate me, please know what you're hating, whom you're hating and what I stand for - rather than create monster onto which you project all your insecurities, xenophobia and racism. Thank you for reading. Kum siah.

Q&A: Jas Linda's dilemma

2013-06-18T00:29:00.000+01:00

Whilst we have had plenty of discussions on the issue of moving away from Singapore, I received a long and heartfelt plea from a reader and I would first like to share her story with you, before I answer her question. Please meet my reader Jas Linda and here is the comment she left on my earlier article:

I am just curious how long did it took you to consider before giving up your sg citizenship? I am in a dilemma myself. I have been in the UK for a year already, really liking it, met a great boyfriend and i am considering emigration in future. But the downside would be convincing my parents. I have a 'good' relationship with my parents; but i would say that it is more of the political and mutual respect kind, as i am not that close to them and can never pour out my heart to them. The main problem is that they want me to return to sg after my graduation to help them out and they have been trying to see if i am gearing myself towards that direction. I have to put a smokescreen whenever chats like that occurs. I am actually very happy and liking the life in UK that I am seriously considering migration.

Is Linda's best solution marriage?

When I am back in sg, i feel like there is a swirl of warm air surrounding me and no matter how much i bath, i feel horrible. I don't want to go out much because my skin will be flushed red and even if i turn the air conditioning on at home, i feel cold. I don't understand why i will feel so especially when the temperature is set at 20+ degrees celsius and far higher than the average in UK, and then I fell really sick. I really want to go back to UK soon.

My boyfriend wishes that we would settle in the UK in future, and I am really considering taking up UK citizenship in future. However I wish to obtain the right of abode visa and work a few years before giving up sg citizenship. I feel that it would be better if I obtain the UK citizenship through my own merits rather than through my future husband, although sometimes I wonder if there is really any difference between them. I really don't wish to strain the relationship with my parents, and I hope that they will understand me and my choice. The good thing is that I still have a few more years before i graduate, so it leaves me time to set my plans. I checked the UKBA website but the information given is not really precise, do you know any other place where I can get more information?

Linda has fallen in love with the UK.

Gosh Linda (can I call you Linda for short?) there's so much in your post. Let's start with your first question. I was forced to delay my giving up of my Singaporean passport for a strange reason - you see, I was booked to go on a work trip and my agent had booked the ticket in my Hanyupinyin name rather than the original spelling of my name. I don't think they do that in Singapore anymore, but on my birth certificate, my name is written the way my parents spelt it followed the Hanyupinyin version in brackets. So it looked like this: Sin Ga Pore (Xin Jia Po). I thought I had to give up my Singaporean passport the moment I got my British passport, but because I didn't want to cause a fuss over the plane ticket, I thought I'd just travel on my Singaporean passport.

So at least for a couple of months, yeah I held both passports until I made that trip - that kinda gave me time to think about it but in the end I still did it. I have such grave misgivings on my part about the PAP in Singapore, words can't express just how strongly I felt about not living in Singapore as a Singaporean as long as the PAP was in charge. So after that trip, I promptly made the arrangements to give up my Singaporean passport. I contacted the Singapore High Commission in London and received instructions on how to renounce my nationality. That was back in 2007.

I was forced to delay giving up my Singaporean passport.

But have no fear, it's so easy to live and work in Singapore as a British expatriate. Even I spent part of 2011 in Singapore as a British expatriate living the expatriate high life in Singapore (oh you should've seen the serviced apartment darling) and ironically, I was probably more welcomed by the Singaporean system as a highly skilled expatriate from the UK than a returning Singaporean. Don't hate the player, hate the game - such are the rules of Singapore: it is a very pro FT country. The UK, however, is quite different.

Furthermore, you don't need your pink IC or Singapore passport to feel Singaporean, I believe it is something a lot more cerebral. I actually met a guy at my gym tonight who is from Singapore - a law student at King's. I spoke to him in Hokkien and he said, "Sorry I don't speak Hokkien." Then I tried Malay, again, he doesn't speak Malay. So I switched to Mandarin and he said, "You're gonna hate me for this, I was from ACJC and nobody speaks Mandarin there." And I was like, how the hell did you get through NS without speaking Hokkien, Malay and Mandarin? And he said, "Things are probably different now compared to when you did NS."

I couldn't believe that guy got through NS without speaking Hokkien or Mandarin.

But there you go, that's my point. I'm very proud of the fact that I speak Hokkien and Mandarin fluently, I have a very respectable grasp of Malay, Teochew and Cantonese and I even speak a little Tamil. (I speak several languages, I am a linguist.) I have all the major languages of Singapore in my head with me, no matter where I go and that's what defines me as the guy from Ang Mo Kio - it is this cultural and linguistic knowledge that I have picked up in my 21 years in Singapore. Only someone who has lived in Singapore for 21 years can have that kind of knowledge, although the guy I met tonight clearly didn't pick up that same set of knowledge, but hey: by that token, surely that makes me far more Singaporean than he is - even if he still has Singaporean nationality and I am British citizen today.

I still have my dear friends in Singapore, friends who do make an effort to keep in touch with me via Facebook and friends I will definitely see in Singapore whenever I am there. You see, what makes me the Ah Beng from Singapore isn't my passport, it is my knowledge, my languages, my connections, my friends and my ability to walk into a hawker centre in Ang Mo Kio and fit right in. An IC or passport doesn't define you - you are a unique individual and if you did grow up in Singapore, well that will always be a part of you.

There will always be a part of Singapore in me no matter where I go. (Yes that's me in the photo)

Now, onto your parents. You know what it boils down to? How much they trust you. You're still young Linda, there is this transition period from when your parents stop treating you like a child and start trusting you as an adult. Let's be honest here: this is usually a painful, difficult transition period! What is most likely to happen is this: you have become a mature adult who is more than capable of deciding what is best for you (relationships, career, other major choices like emigration) but your parents still need to play catch up and realize that you are no longer that little child you were. It is up to you to convince and remind them that you're a responsible and wise adult today.

An added dimension to your situation is the fact that you are in the UK at the moment whilst they're in Singapore - you are not seeing each other often enough and they could default to a memory of a younger you rather than deal with the mature young adult you are today. What you have to do is to work on them, demonstrating your maturity and earning their trust in the process. Will it work? I don't know, but it is worth a try. Your parents are probably intervening because they do not trust you to make that important decision, the same way parents will never trust young children to make important decisions for themselves. (And yes, I know that's not fair.)

Do your parents see you as a child or as an adult?

Here's my guess (and I may be wrong, but for what it's worth...). I don't think that they are completely against the idea of you emigrating, but rather, it is not a move that they would've done themselves (clearly, they're still in Singapore). So they are trying to make that decision on your behalf, the same way a mother would tell her 8 year old daughter, "you are going to wear that red dress for Chinese New Year and that is the end of the discussion. I have decided and you will do as you're told. I am your mother and you will do as you're told. I don't care if you like that dress or not, I am not letting you decide what to wear!" They're making that decision on your behalf - what you need to do is to remind them that you're fully capable of making that decision for yourself and only you can make the right decision for yourself. This is a delicate process - you need to let them know that you still welcome and respect their opinion (and that you don't want to hurt their feelings), but at the same time, you are already an adult and they no longer have the need or right to overrule you like a young child who doesn't know what she is doing.

Hopefully, it'll work all work out at the end of the day, but if it doesn't - then you have to make up your mind: do you want to make them happy or do you want to make yourself happy? I say, don't be stupid, put yourself first. I know many people will hate me for saying this - but you have only one life to live and you have got to do what you want to do. My parents were equally mortified when I got a job in London after my graduation but after a while, they realized that I was happy and earning good money; and more to the point, I was an adult who was prepared to make my own decisions by then. I don't think they were ever going to say to me, "You know, we were wrong when we doubted your decision to work in London and we're sorry to have ever doubted you." Nah, get real, no that's never gonna happen - instead, they just got used to the fact that I am living and working in London now and they've moved on with their lives. They do have other stuff that is of interest to them, their lives do not revolve around me.

Are you an adult and ready to take responsibility for your decisions?

And as for the work permit situation - I'm going to be blunt with you Linda: as a fresh graduate with little or no work experience, it is going to be very hard for you to try to get a job here because your employer will have to sponsor your work permit. There is the temptation for the employer to then think, "if I hire Linda, there's going to be all that paperwork and costs associated with a work permit but if I hire a local, that person can start tomorrow with no hassle."

I know you value your independence and that is admirable - but let's have a reality check here Linda. It's not what you want to do that determines your next course of action, it is the rules of the game, quite specifically, the immigration rules set out by the UKBA. As you may know, they have tightened a lot of their rules over the years and this current government have made their stance on immigration very clear: they are raising the bar of entry. There is some leeway with the training & work experience scheme (which I know some people have used in the past to stay on after graduation) and possibly the working holiday scheme but that's hardly ideal. I hate to rush you into any kind of decision when it comes to marriage - but the easiest way is for you to get engaged then apply to stay on as a fiancee. That would buy you some time as that would then allow you to get work and strengthen your position to stay on in the UK.

Your need the correct visa before you can hunt for a job.

Basically, it'll be very hard for an employer to want to give you a job if you don't have the legal right to work in this country - and the easiest way for you to get this sorted is by getting engaged and then married. The alternative of course is to go to another country (Singapore or wherever you can find a job) after you graduate and then work there until you become experienced enough to qualify as highly skilled migrant. And even if you do find a way to stay on with a work permit, please read Olga's story here.

I know the UKBA website isn't great, but I'm sorry, please do not shoot the messenger for the message. You're looking for a way to stay on in the UK after graduation and there's no easy way (apart from marriage). I was lucky as it was a lot easier back when I was a student all those years ago but the rules have been tightened since. There are certain occupations which will allow you to get jobs a lot more easily than others (nursing, teaching, doctors, anything medical related) but without knowing what you're studying Linda, I don't know if these are occupations relevant to your degree.

I also want to warn you that there are some unscrupulous 'visa' agencies which promise things they cannot deliver - what they are doing is marginally legal and over the years, some have been investigated and have been closed down by the authorities. They usually do a mix of two kinds of activities: the legal stuff is simply helping people apply for their visas which they are eligible for. So imagine if a student from India wants to study in the UK and they just want a professional to check that all the paperwork has been filled in properly and all the right supporting documents have been submitted for the student visa - then yeah sure, that's completely legal. Though I wonder why people don't just do such paperwork themselves instead of paying professionals to do it, but I digress.

The other quasi-illegal activity they do is that they will sit down with people whom they jolly well know have no hope in hell of getting a visa to stay on in the UK and they say, oh let's just talk about it, please submit the following to us and we'll explore your options. They make it sound like they may be able to find a solution, but they will charge you up front and then after many meetings you are left with a big bill for their 'consultation services' and they will claim they tried but failed - but you still have to pay for their services. They may even go as far as to apply for visas they jolly well know you have no hope in hell in qualifying for - and now that's fraud really. So if the UKBA website shows that you have very limited options, some dodgy visa agent isn't going to find you a loophole - they just wanna cheat you of your money so beware of any such visa agents promising to find you easy solutions for a complex problem.

Beware of these dodgy visa agencies.

Your situation is complicated - yes you wanna stay on in the UK but you also have a boyfriend whom you wish to settle down with (in the future, at some point I guess). Now have you considered the possibility of asking your boyfriend (and presumably future husband) to go and work for a few years in Singapore so the two of you can be together? Or there's the third country solution: say after you graduate the two of you go and work in somewhere like Dubai or Australia for a few years. Have you considered this option? Would you consider working somewhere else together?

Have you introduced your boyfriend to your parents? How do they feel about him? If you are really sure that this is the man for you, then you have got to let your parents know how you feel - remember, they may not dislike him, but they may not trust your judgement if they still think you're an immature child. This is to be handled carefully - if you are confident, it will show and confidence is very convincing. If you walk into the room nervously biting your nails, unsure of your parents' reaction - then forget it, you may as well not bother. But if you walk into the room declaring, "I love this man, he is the one for me, I have made my choice. This is my decision: I don't need your approval, I don't need your permission but your blessings would be nice." Sounds brutal but you've got to be that confident if you want to convince them that your mind is made up and this is your decision, not theirs.

Do your parnets know that you're in love?

At the end of the day, when you marry your man, it will be you who will be living with him for the rest of your life, not your mum, not your dad - so how you feel about him matters so much more than how they feel about it. I'm sure if you convince them that you've made the right choice, then they will give you their blessings and everything else will just fall into place. They will want you to be happy at the end of the day (I hope).

I shall leave it at that for now Linda - since I don't know anything else about what you're currently studying, I can't make any more suggestions about your work visa situation. I would also invite my readers to give Linda some helpful suggestions and encouragement, thanks everyone. Let's show Linda some support :)

PS. I can confirm that I will be travelling from the 15 July to the 14 August - I will be going to Oman (yes Oman in July, I am mad), Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia, but whilst I am in this part of the world, goodness me - I am tempted by all these cheap regional airfares. Air Asia, Scoot, Tiger Airways, wow! I have a whole month in the Middle East and SE Asia and so far, I will be spending some time staying with an old friend in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia. Gosh, I am trying to track down other old friends and I don't know how much time I will spend in Singapore but I have been so busy I have yet to plan my trip properly. I've sorted out what I am doing in Oman and KL/PJ so far, but am tempted by Penang, Melaka, Bali, Borobudur and possibly Australia. It's a shame is rainy season (even typhoon season) in many parts of Asia in July-August so I have ruled out going to South Korea, Cambodia, Laos, HK, Myanmar and Taiwan. I have been doing my research by watching old episodes of the Amazing Race. If you have any suggestions for good places to explore in SE Asia, please let me know! Many thanks, terima kasih.

PPS. I am headed for a a record breaking month in June in terms of the number of views I have had on my blog - which is just as well as I won't be blogging that much from 15 July to 14 August when I will pretty much be travelling. I hope to be interviewing at least 2 celebrities though on this trip - one in KL and one in Singapore, no promises. I have confirmed the one in KL but the one in Singapore is still a maybe, but I am working on it.

On the issue of Asian migrants integrating in the West

2013-06-16T02:03:00.000+01:00

OK the same Singaporean blogger has left a rather ignorant comment on one of my previous blog post s and I wanted to ignore it but then I realized, hey I have heard other Singaporeans make the same ignorant comment before, so why don't we talk about it on my blog? Firstly, here's the comment he left, "No matter what you do, you will never ever integrate with the ang mohs. Becos its a fact that you are Asian. "

Firstly, LMFAO. I'm not some kid who has arrived in the UK one week ago, I am a 37 year old man who has been living in Europe since 1997. I have spent a good 16 years in Europe already and I already know by now whether or not I am well integrated in the UK. I can look back at the last 16 years: I have a good job with plenty of professional contacts to rely upon, I have an active social life involving both the arts and plenty of sports. I do not at any time pretend to be anything I am not - I do not pretend to be white, I have achieved everything I have done so far just by being the rather stubborn Ah Beng I am. I don't need some random Singaporean suaku to lecture me about what white people are like after having spent this much time in Europe, thank you very much.

Limpeh is an Ah Beng in Europe.

Let's talk about the issue of integration then. Firstly, it is a total fallacy to treat Angmohs (white people) like they are a monolithic entity that you can somehow integrate with by becoming white or becoming like them. Amongst Caucasians, there are North Americans, Europeans, Antipodeans and even those in places like Namibia, Chile, Argentina and South Africa. Amongst the Europeans where white people originate from, you have Germans, Greeks, Norwegians, Russians, Italians, Dutch, Spaniards, Czechs, Estonians, Swiss, Albanians, Irish, Bulgarians, Belgians, Romanians, Latvians etc. Even in the UK, you have the the Scots, the Welsh, the English and Northern Irish. Within England, there are very clear regional identities amongst the English and even within a city like London, there isn't one concept of what it means to be a Londoner when you have such diverse groups living in close proximity in a big city like that.

Guess what? The exact same thing can be said about Asians in Singapore! There isn't one concept or simple definition of what it means to be Singaporean - in Singapore, you have such a vibrant mix of different kinds of Asians: Chinese, Malays, Indians, Filipinos, Vietnamese, Indonesians, etc. Even amongst the Chinese, you have that huge divide between the local born Singaporean Chinese and the recent arrivals from China. And then you have further divisions along the lines of the different dialect groups. Heck, just because you're Asian doesn't mean that you'll successfully integrate with Singaporeans - integration is far more complex than having the right skin colour!

Can you integrate and get along with those around you?

So let's run with this misguided notion of trying to "integrate with the Angmohs" - there isn't one notion of what it means to be an Angmoh or British for that matter. There are plenty of British born non-white citizens who are black, Middle Eastern and Asian. These people are 100% British and participate actively in all areas of social life, business and politics - it is their nationality and cultural identity that defines them as British, not the colour of their skin. There are a significant number of black and Asian politicians active in the government - people like Baroness Oona King, Baranoess Sayeeda Warsi, Keith Vaz and Sadiq Khan just to name a few. The fact that many of these non-white ethnic minority politicians can win elections shows how white voters are happy to embrace a non-white candidate to represent them in politics, we are very progressive as a nation by that aspect.

I get very uncomfortable when Singaporeans make an implied assumption that white people are inherently racist (which is completely untrue, of course) and that they only want to allow other white people into their social circles (which again, is completely untrue). The fact is in modern societies, we no longer define our social identity on the basis of race, ethnicity or skin colour. We've stopped doing that for over 40, maybe 50 years already. Society was very different half a century ago, when people didn't travel as much back then, people were a lot more ignorant back then and most importantly, people were far less likely to speak a second language then. People were unlikely to have friends from another country or culture and often only socialized locally with others in their local community. Fast forward to 2013, thanks to modern technology, we are far more enlightened modern generation who think global and are far less xenophobic in the way they perceive their cultural identity, especially if there is no longer a language barrier to stop us from communicating and connecting with someone from another culture. Ironically, some Singaporeans have all the latest gadgets money can buy but they have an attitude stuck in the pre-internet days of the 1980s.

You may have an iPhone but is your attitude up to date?

Think about the way we make friends in 2013 - we tend to seek out individuals whom we share a connection with, be it professional (that's all those Linkedin groups for you), recreational, cultural or a combination of all of the above. You don't just befriend someone just because you speak the same language or if you're from the same hometown/country. Heck, think of how many people out there have siblings they do not get along with - being familiar with someone doesn't guarantee that you will automatically like them.

The way Gangnam Style has totally gone global last year demonstrated how our modern generation no longer defines our cultural identity according to our parents ethnicity or culture, but by global trends in the age of the internet. Aren't we incredibly fortunate as the generation to have all this technology at our fingertips to approach the world very differently from our parents' generation? Isn't it utterly and totally amazing? How can you have all this amazing technology yet not let it influence the way you relate to others in the world around you?

Now think about the friends you have, the people you hang out with, the people you chat to on Facebook - why do you like them as friends? Why do you want to spend time with them? Why do you enjoy their company? Is the answer ever, "because they are Asian" or "because they are Singaporean" or "because they are Chinese"? Hardly! Human relationships are far more complex than that! Let me share with you a Facebook status from a good friend of mine who is a Lebanese lawyer and also a talented musician - he plays the ukulele! (See the photo below if you don't know what it is.) He is off on holidays today and this was his Facebook status update from Heathrow airport:

Check-in lady - "Is that a fiddle or a banjo?"
Me - "Heh neither, it's a ukulele."
Check-in lady - "Oooh, you planning to serenade the other passengers?"
Me - "No, with my ethnic background I find it's best to keep a low profile on planes."

Ukulele = it's like a small guitar

I like him very much because that is the kind of funny things he would say to make me laugh. He is a great joy to be with and we are able to connect just because we're on the same wavelength when it comes to humour. We have enough in common to have been good friends for about 14 years because we simply understand each other. Does it matter that he's from Lebanon and I'm from Singapore, that he's Arab and I'm Chinese? Who gives a shit? Why should that matter? We share enough in common for us to enjoy each other's company and as for where we are different, we allow that difference to both fascinate and educate each other. I feel sorry for those who are afraid of this cultural difference, because this is the kind of variety that makes our world such an interesting place to explore.

Here's the key thing about making friends - I never demand my friends to be just like me. I never said to a friend, "If you want me to like you and befriend you, you have to speak my language, act like me, talk like me, behave like me, in fact you have to be a carbon copy of myself before I will accept you." Hell no, that's so egocentric. And for the record, the vast majority of my friends here in the UK are white - and they will be appalled by any notion that I have been 'accepted' by them because I have integrated sufficiently well. No that's not how it works, they have chosen to be my friend because they like me for who I am. In any case, in a city as cosmopolitan as London, there is a huge mix of different nationalities and cultures here - we treat people as individuals. We like them, reject them, adore them, loathe them, befriend them, avoid them etc all as individuals - why? We never judge a book by it's cover, hence we never base our decision to like a person on their skin colour.

Would you judge a book by its cover?

Besides, the world is full of wonderful, eccentric, unconventional, quirky characters - like my Lebanese lawyer friend who plays the ukulele - why would I want to deprive myself of the opportunity to meet someone radically different from myself? I think I might be a bit bored with someone totally identical to myself.

Are there people who believe that you should only make friends with people who are very similar to yourselves? Yes there are - one such person was my late paternal grandmother. She objected to my father's marriage to my mother on the basis of the fact that my mother is Hokkien and not Hakka, like my father. The fact that my mother was not only Hokkien but unable to speak Hakka was unacceptable to her. (Well, they all spoke Malay, so at least they could still communicate effectively.) She wanted my father to have picked a bride who was identical to her - yes that's my grandmother for you, she was egocentric enough to believe that she was the perfect example of the ideal bride, so she wanted my dad to marry a woman just like her. And of course my dad defied his mother and went ahead to marry my mother because he was truly in love with her and he wasn't prepared to let his mother mess his life up like that.

My grandmother didn't want my father to marry my mother.

Do people like my late grandmother still exist today? Of course they do - thankfully they're in the minority. Just avoid them if you run into someone like that. Having lived and work in so many countries, I have realized that once you peel away the very superficial differences like our skin colour or the different languages that we speak or cultural customs, guess what? We share far more in common than you think in our shared humanity, it's incredible. I feel sorry for those who choose to focus on the differences rather than this shared humanity. Why? Goodness me, why?

The sad truth is that many of these Asians who focus on the differences are assuming a stance of mutual hostility. They are racist and hate white people and assume that white people must hate them too (which is not true actually). Others have such low self-esteem that they just assume that others cannot possibly like them, that's why they just default to the assumption that they will be rejected if they tried to integrate in a new country halfway around the world - such people probably don't have that many friends in Singapore to begin with, so what are the chances of them being more socially successful halfway around the world in a different country? They don't have the confidence that they will be liked or even accepted simply by being themselves. Making friends, sustaining quality relationships both professionally and socially is an art form - that is why some people are very popular at school whilst others turn out to be the quiet kid who sits in the corner and never talks to anyone.

There's always that quiet kid in the corner that nobody talks to...

By that token, some migrants who come to the West will blend in effortlessly, whilst others will stay on the periphery of society after many decades - it all boils down to the individual's ability to adapt to new situations and some people are just better at it than others. Trying to imply that white people will never accept Asians is wrong because it completely misrepresents the situation. It is up to each individual to develop meaningful social and professional relationships wherever he is - whether he chooses to remain in his hometown or start a new life halfway around the world.

Ultimately, I know that what makes me a unique person is my experiences of having lived in both the East and the West (and the big in between, the Middle East). Having those experiences makes me so much more insightful compared to some Brit who has spent all his life living only in England. Yes I do feel like I have a sense of superiority over people like that and I will never give up that sense of superiority (you know me). I don't want to be like everyone else because I know I am better than everyone else. So sue me but that's the way I feel!

Yes Limpeh has spent time in the Middle East.

You don't need to be just like everyone else to be liked and embraced by the British public - quite on the contrary, the Brits have always warmed to somewhat unusual, eccentric characters who are larger than life characters. Such is our culture - we value individuality and celebrate non-conformity. Take Tulisa Contostavlos (formerly of N-Dubz) for example, she is hardly your average English lady. She is of Greek-Cypriot ancestry, she pushes the boundaries with her music and was even involved in a sex-tape scandal that went viral as well as a drugs scandal just this month. Did being unusual in so many ways affect her fame? Hardly, she was a judge on X-Factor and is now focusing on her solo career as a singer. Susan Boyle is another great example of a lovable British oddball. She's not got the looks to go with that voice, but she is still loved and embraced by the British public. (Can you imagine a Singaporean Susan Boyle, like a fat 50 year old spinster from Bukit Batok with the voice of an angel? Not gonna happen.)

And Simon Cowell - that man's a legend, I would love to do what he does - to sit there and make cruel remarks at people and get paid loads of money for it. I could go on: how about Gordon Ramsay, who is far more famous for his foul-mouthed tantrums than his cooking? He's a huge celebrity. Oh and there's George Michael who has stumbled from scandal to scandal - numerous drugs related arrests, gay sex in public toilets, crashing his car whilst driving under the influence of drugs - oh the list of his misdemeanors is pretty long . And what do we do? Do we reject him as a pop sar? Hell no, we got him to perform at the closing ceremony of the 2012 Olympics as one of our cultural ambassadors.

And you want more whacky oddballs that the British public have totally embraced? How about Pakistani fishmonger Muhammad Shahid Nazir ("Mr £1 Fish") who scored a big hit with his song "£1 Fish" which went viral last year. Have a listen to it in the video below - you will either love it or hate it (or at least scratch your head wondering how the hell this became a big hit on the UK charts last year). You get the idea (how about our sports 'hero' Eddie the Eagle as well) - as a nation, for better or for worse, we like and celebrate oddballs who are not afraid to be different and are by no means perfect. This is in sharp contrast to East Asian cultures where conformity is the social norm is emphasized and those who are different are faced society's collective disapproval.

By that token, I am a private citizen here in the UK. I am quite content being myself here in Britain. People can like me or hate me, I am who I am, take it or leave it. I am glad I live in a society which gives me the liberty to live the way I like. I can be different, I can be unique, I can stand out from the crowd and that's perfectly alright. In any case, when I learnt Welsh (I am now fluent in Welsh), I didn't do it to please or impress the Welsh people - hell no, it was something I did and accomplished for myself, not others. I'm not that desperate to please others around me nor do I crave their approval - I'm far more interested in pleasing myself really.

In London where I call home now, I have found quirky, eccentric like-minded individuals (like my ukulele playing Lebanese lawyer pal) who like me for whom I am. They would never try to change me, they like me the way I am. I am Limpeh, that foreign talent who has worked in all of those different places all over the world, shaped by my unique experiences and my friends love me for being me. Now that's a great feeling, when you can just relax and be yourself and be loved by your friends. It is most liberating indeed.

The Brits love quirky, eccentric, larger than life characters.

Let me finish by putting this to you Singaporeans: do you have good friends who are from a different ethnicity? If you are a Chinese-Singaporean, do you have good friends who are Malay, Indian or Filipino? Would you ever say, "I can never accept you no matter how hard you try to integrate because you're not one of us", or would you simply judge each individual by his/her merits? How do you feel about racist people who reject people from another nationality, culture, religion or ethnicity? How would you like to be at the receiving end of such bigotry?

You know, I thought my late grandmother was utterly ludicrous in having that kind of prejudice against my mother for being of a different dialect group - I would've thought that this kind of petty bigotry would have been gone by my generation, but I guess I was proven wrong by this really ignorant statement left on my blog by that Singaporean (tut tut, what a disgrace). As usual, Limpeh is always keen to find out what you have to say about the issue, you know the drill - please leave a comment below, thank you very much.

Limpeh with my panda Bui @ Youtube HQ London.

Read all about it, read all about it, oh.

2013-06-14T11:55:00.000+01:00

Hi readers, just a short one for me from now, I am working on some longer articles but I was listening to a beautiful song that I shared again last night on my blog and I want to talk about it. I was challenged today by a reader who accused me, "Can you don't politicize every thing that went wrong in your life? Get a grip! You made the decision to give up your pink IC, so be a man and don't whine. Be responsible for your actions. If you are truly happy foreign citizen, why you keep harping about Singapore's system? An axe to grind? Sore loser? Whats your motive?"

Well, what is my motive for writing? I am clearly in no position to influence the government of Singapore from a distance, but I write for my readers, aka LIFTers. I am a social commentator, I write about things that happen in the world, I write about the things that my readers care to read about and sometimes they are difficult issues, sometimes they are provocative and here's something you wouldn't understand: it is astonishing even to myself (it's incredible!) that I have this many readers and that millions of people are interested in what I have to say and are coming to me for information, wisdom, direction and advice. The fact that they want to read what I have to say overwhelms me and I intend to write my very best for them because I love my readers.

My motive is no more than to write in a way that people want to read, produce articles that people enjoy reading and to capture & hold their attention, so that they keep coming back for more and more. I have actually tried writing two novels many years ago and failed to get them published despite getting some initial attention from a couple of publishers and even if I did get published then, how many copies would I have sold? Would it have approached 4 million? Heck, I would've been lucky if I had sold 400 copies. Would I have a dedicated following and a fan base like I do now?

There is clearly a space in the alternative media sphere in Singapore which I have stepped in and filled. Even in the world of media, a lot boils down to supply and demand - I am stepping in to fulfill a demand for a certain kind of writing. Yes there is an element of preaching to the choir here as many of my readers tend to already agree with my point of view, but I would like to think that whether you agree with what I say or not, you will still find some pleasure in reading my pieces. People wouldn't come to my blog if I was no more than a sore loser with an axe to grind but nothing of interest to say. I would like to finish this by sharing with you the lyrics of Emeli Sande's Read All About It Part III which does capture the spirit of why I blog. It is such an awesome song that often brings tears to my eyes when I try to sing along. Please read the lyrics as you listen to the song on the Youtube clip.

"Read All About It (Pt. III)" by Emeli Sande

You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a life time stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?
So come on, come on
Come on, come on
You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Baby we're a little different
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away
Come on, Come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

At night we're waking up the neighbours
While we sing away the blues
Making sure that we remember, yeah
Cause we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden
Then we're breaking all the rules
So come on, come on
Come on, come on,
Let's get the TV and the radio
To play our tune again
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
There's no need to be afraid
I will sing with you my friend
Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
Now we're finally finding our voices
So take a chance, come help me sing this
Yeah, we're all wonderful, wonderful people
So when did we all get so fearful?
And now we're finally finding our voices
Just take a chance, come help me sing this

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh

Myth busting: being a "second class citizen"

2013-06-14T01:47:00.003+01:00

Hi readers, in light of the popularity of my recent post on why I gave up my pink IC (Singaporean nationality), I noticed a phrase that was used over and over again in the comments to my blog post - "second class citizen". What is a second class citizen? Do they actually exist in reality? What are the origins of this concept? What does it really mean? Today, Limpeh is going to delve into this topic and find out more.

What is the definition of a second class citizen then? They do exist and there are many examples - the most obvious one is that of black South Africans during the Apartheid era. They had limited rights as citizens: they couldn't vote, they had limited access to education and jobs and even their movement around the country was severely curtailed. The list of Apartheid-era restrictions on non-white South Africans is very long, but it was evident that they were second class citizens in their own country despite being the majority.

Second class citizens would face all kinds of restrictions in their everyday life - such as being forbidden from practicing their religion (eg. Christianity was very 'underground' and taboo in pre-1990s China), their language (eg. dialects were effectively banned from Singaporean media for many years, alienating older dialect speaking folks who didn't speak Mandarin) and culture (eg. gays are actively persecuted in Iran and are executed if found guilty of gay sex). It is extremely unpleasant to be oppressed like that, to be a second class citizen and have those inequalities enshrined in the law. These laws are often made with a political goal in mind and they ignore the damage done along the way. In Vietnam, there have efforts to assimilate the Hmong minority to make them more 'Vietnamese' through the education system, but in so doing, the Vietnamese government is destroying Hmong culture as a new generation of Hmong people grow up, speaking Vietnamese as a first language, moving to the big cities and losing touch with their culture.

Limpeh in Bac Ha, Vietnam at a Hmong market

Now many Singaporeans speak about Asian migrants to the West being treated like second class citizens - is there any truth to that? Now before I give my knee-jerk reaction (which is to say, no, what the hell are you talking about) let us look at the issue a little closer. I will be focusing on the UK as this is where I live - but what I say will apply to most other Western countries like Canada, France, New Zealand, Australia, America etc.

Q: Are there any laws that restrict the rights of Asian migrants, for example to vote, to access public housing, to gain employment, to gain education etc - such as in Apartheid South Africa?

A: No, there are no such laws to restrict the rights of Asian migrants - in fact, there are laws to protect the rights of everyone: black, white or Asian, against any kind of racist discrimination in accessing the right to vote, public housing, employment, education etc. All citizens are equal under the eyes of the law.

All citizens are equal under the eyes of the law

Q: Okay, even if the laws are there in place to protect the rights of citizens, what about in practice when you do encounter a racist person who hates Asians then?

A: There are laws again to protect anyone when they experience any kind of discrimination - whether it is racism, sexism, homophobia, hatred on the basis of religion etc. If someone is found guilty of this kind of discrimination, then it becomes a criminal matter and the victim has the law on his side.

Q: Why do some Asian people still complain then about racism if there are so many good laws to protect them? Surely there is no smoke without fire?

A: That's a good question - I think the bone of contention often boils down to that of language. Let's cast our minds back to the 1970s and 1980s when Asian migrants from places like Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong arrived in places like Australia, Canada and the UK. Migrants of that generation probably didn't speak English as well as those who followed in the 1990s and 2000s - I think Singapore is unusual as many of us grew up speaking English as a first language because of education system and many from other Asian countries actually speak English as a second or foreign language. Even Singaporeans with a strong accent would struggle to be understood by your average Brit, American or Canadian and that's nothing to do with racism - it's about being able to speak English properly and clearly to be understood universally, something many Singaporeans refuse to acknowledge.

If you are limited by your command of English, then of course it is going to have a negative impact on your ability to find work, integrate and become successful if everyone else around you is speaking a language you are struggling to understand. This is why early migrants formed Chinatowns and kept to themselves in these satellite Chinese communities where their inability to communicate in English effectively is not an issue if they are primarily dealing with other Chinese people in Mandarin or Cantonese.

Those who do try to venture out of these Chinatowns and seek employment elsewhere have met varying levels of success - it suffices to say that those who are most successful usually get past that language barrier whilst those who struggle with the language are unlikely to find work elsewhere. If you think I am exaggerating, let me relate an incident I witnessed a few days ago in London Chinatown.

London Chinatown in the winter

I was in a Chinese supermarket in London Chinatown when a white woman approached an older shop assistant who was stacking the shelves. The white woman asked him, "Excuse me mate, where can I get light soy sauce please? Do you have light soy sauce please?" The shop assistant stared blankly at her, "you what?" The woman repeated, "Soy sauce. Soy sauce." The shop assistant was in blind panic - clearly, he didn't speak enough English to understand her. I then rescued the two of them by stepping in and telling her exactly where the soy sauce was - but there you go, that guy's English was so limited that he was limited to stacking shelves as opposed to dealing with customers in English.

If an Asian migrant failed to get a good job despite trying very hard, what could be going on?

a) The migrant doesn't have the basic skills to find work (such as the older shop assistant in the story above)
b) The migrant was facing discrimination (despite being protected by the law against such discrimination)

Yup you just about can see that supermarket in this photo.

There's this thing called pride which stops a lot of people from admitting that it was their fault when things go wrong. Now it would be a fallacy to treat all Asian migrants to the West as a monolithic entity, but in Asian culture we have this concept of 'saving face' or 要面子 - which means that very few migrants who have failed would actually put their hands up and say, "yes it was my fault, I couldn't adjust, I couldn't fit in, I struggled with English etc". It would be far easier for them to save their 面子by playing the victim's card and claim that it was not at all their fault.

It is human nature to seek out opinions that reinforce the way we feel about an issue, rather than seek stories or case studies that challenge our long held beliefs. If you are a Christian, then you're far more likely to go to websites about the Christian faith than atheism. If you are a vegetarian, you're unlikely to spend ages on websites teaching you how to cook roast pork. Likewise, if you already believe that white people are inherently racist towards Asian people, then it's very unlikely you'll want to listen to someone like me sharing my stories of living and working in Europe.

We are more likely to seek out opinions that agree with our long held views.

I know I have shared this story before on my blog but let me share it again. My dad is racist and hates white people - so he naturally assumes that white people hate Asians too. Back in 1985, we had a neighbour who told him a story about how her sister who went to Paris and received very rude service at a restaurant because her sister was Malaysian, not white and didn't speak French. I was there when that story was told and my dad somehow has latched onto that as concrete evidence that French people hate Asians.

Here's the problem though: my dad keeps getting the facts mixed up as he cannot remember what he was told in 1985, so he is making up the story afresh each time he has to recount it. He keeps saying it was our neighbour who was treated rudely - no, it wasn't, it was her sister. And then he cannot remember if it was a hotel or an airport where the incident happened - no, it was at a restaurant. And then my dad would take the liberty to add his own spicy details each time he retold this story, even to me. Cue face-palm. Who needs real evidence when you can make up bullshit on the spot? Who is he trying to convince - himself or me?

Limpeh has lived in France and speaks French as a 2nd language.

And here's the bit which even I don't bloody get: my dad has a son (ie. yours truly) who speaks French fluently, has studied at a French university and worked for a French company and rather than ask me, "so, what are the French really like?" He would default to this story from 1985 which he can't even remember - why? It is because he jolly well knows that if he asked me, I would simply state categorically that the French are not racist and that Singaporeans are far more racist than the French - a point which I have made many times, over and over again to my dad (whether he wants to hear it or not). But there you go - that's human nature at work here, people choose to hear what they want to hear and somehow block out facts contrary to what they want to believe. My dad is a perfect example of that. He has a blind spot the size of France when it comes to his racism.

Would my dad ever admit that he could never survive in the West because his inability to adapt to another culture or learn another language? No, not in a million years, he'll never do that - and guess what? He's pretty typical. Over here in the UK, I've been watching the latest series of The Apprentice on the BBC. It's a great show and I love it when things go incredibly wrong, "Noooo.... don't choose that product, it is not right for your target market! It will never sell, you'll regret it!" Most of the time, when things do go wrong, the person responsible or the project manager will try their very best to pin the blame on someone else because if they admitted, "yup, that was me, I made a bad decision," then that would be giving Lord Sugar a reason to fire them from the process. So there you go, my dad's behaviour isn't that unique - it's actually pretty common to deflect blame even when it is clearly your fault.

No it wasn't my fault, it was your idea so it's your fault!!

Q: Okay, so I get it, everything is very politically correct on the surface and you have rules and laws to make sure no one is racist - but surely under the surface, there must be some level of discrimination which still renders you second class citizens as new migrants? What about more subtle things like being overlooked for a promotion?

A: No, I don't think there is! Now firstly, in a place like London, you have people from all over Europe working here as we have freedom of labour in the European Union. I have worked in offices with colleagues from like 15 different countries speaking a variety of languages. I am sure there are some remote villages in some far flung corner of the UK where you can find a shop or factory where everyone working there is local, but in most big cities, you'll encounter a very international workforce. Your manager/boss may not even be British - I have worked for bosses of many different nationalities (French, Russian, Kiwi, American, Mauritian, British just to name a few).

London is an incredibly international city.

I know in Singapore, there is this perception that a (insert nationality) boss would always favour workers from his own country - but that simply isn't the case in the UK. People are a lot more pragmatic really, business is business, we're in the middle of recession. You need to pick the best people who can deliver the best for your business - hiring or promoting the wrong person could lead to serious financial consequences that could lead to a massive loss. Why would any boss in the right mind take such a risk to express some misguided notion of kinship towards his fellow countrymen? You need to make sure you pick the right person for the job!

Here's a newsflash: apart from being pragmatic, people are also selfish. Oh yeah you heard me right, people are very selfish - they won't do something for another person unless there is some kind of benefit for them. Let's imagine if the company I am working for is hiring and I am in a position to influence the final decision regarding the person we hire. If you said to me, "hey Limpeh, why don't you hire this person he is from Ang Mo Kio like you, he went to the same school as you in Singapore, he went to the same university you did in England, he is a friend of your sister's etc..." I would turn around and say, "Yeah what's in it for me? What benefit is there for me to help him? Are you going to give me some money if I promise to help him? Or are you going to buy me an expensive gift if I help him?"

Are you going to give me some money if I promise to help him?

As for the hypothetical situation of two people being up for a promotion, then you need to look at so many different factors that may give one person an advantage over the other. Is it simply because one person has made a greater effort to sell himself to the boss as the harder worker? This is a problem with Singaporean culture I'm afraid - we're taught to work hard and be humble, but we're not very good at standing up and claiming credit for the good work we have done. That is often frowned upon as being arrogant and even 'showing off' in our culture - yet in the competitive world of business, behaving in a humble manner may not always get you the recognition you deserve when there are other more outspoken colleagues actively claiming credit for the work they've done.

I have explained in detail in this previous post here that British society is actually still extremely class conscious and we're defined by our social class, rather than our skin colour or nationality. Therefore when a Singaporean person turns up in a British company as the new guy starting today, his colleagues would start to evaluate him and try to figure out his social class based on the way he talks, the way he dresses - from that they will try to figure out how educated he is, what kind of family background he has and whether he is posh or working class. His social class would be far more of interest to them than his skin colour per se - they can all see that he is obviously Asian, but his social class is going to what determines his place in British society (and NOT his skin colour).

Do you Singaporeans understand the British class system?

Q: Be honest now Limpeh, are there any circumstances where Asian immigrants are treated as second class citizens whilst working in the West?

A: Well, I can think of some groups of people who are at a disadvantage, such as those on work permits - because if you're working here as a foreigner on a work permit, then you pay all the same taxes but you're not entitled to the same benefits as a citizen. So when a British citizen becomes unemployed, he can apply for all kinds of unemployment benefits - but when a foreigner becomes unemployed, then tough shit - your work permit is no longer valid, you have to leave the country even if you have been faithfully paying your taxes all this time! Now a white American on a work permit in London is subjected to that disadvantage as well - that is just part of the risk one takes whilst working in another country. That is a good reason why those who have been working here naturalize as British citizens to gain the full advantages of citizenship rather than remain ineligible as foreigners.

This creates a situation whereby people on work permits could be subject to exploitation if they are dependent on a work permit to stay in the UK. I have told this story before: I knew this woman Olga who had a Ukrainian passport and she didn't want to go back to Ukraine, she wanted to work in London. So her employers exploited her: she was overworked, underpaid and bullied by her bosses (who were Russian, not English - but the company was in London, told you this was a very international city). They knew that if Olga lost her job, she would also lose the work permit which came with the job. Hence they knew they could afford to treat Olga like shit and Olga would just keep quiet and put up with it. So when Olga finally married a British man, her visa status changed - she was no longer in need of a work permit but was the spouse of a British citizen. She then sued her former employers and received a huge out of court settlement for the way she was treated.

Olga was badly treated at work by her Russian bosses.

Olga is white - she is very fair, has blond hair and blue eyes, but most of all, she speaks Russian fluently - the same language her Russian bosses spoke. So there was no cultural barrier involved in this despite, it wasn't an issue of straight forward racial or ethnic discrimination. It was quite simply a pair of unscrupulous Russian bosses exploiting a woman who needed her job and her work permit to stay in London.

But then again, Olga was more a victim of her circumstances (rather than a second class citizen per se) - that's hardly unique. I have this English friend Mark who was pretty much in Olga's shoes - he's English and born in England, 100% local. He is married and his wife had twins - so as you can imagine, the bills were stacking up when you have two babies at the same time. So his employers knew that Mark had many bills to pay (he was in debt in fact) and couldn't afford to be unemployed, so he was subjected to the same mistreatment as Olga. So yeah, like Olga, Mark was simply a victim of his circumstances and he would never describe himself as a second class citizen, just someone who found himself in a difficult situation when one thing just led to another.

Was Olga a second class citizen or just a victim of her circumstances?

I have another friend Jason who worked as a legal translator/interpreter (Mandarin/English). He deals with many cases of illegal Chinese immigrants who come to the UK illegally and are sold into slavery by these triads who run the human trafficking trade - these illegal immigrants are worse than second class citizens, they are virtually slaves who are exploited, beaten, raped, abused and there are all kinds of horror stories. When they finally escape or are caught by the police, they are placed in jail for being here illegally whilst their case is investigated, that's when my friend Jason helps the authorities speak to these illegal immigrants and piece together their horror stories. Someday, I will interview Jason properly and get him to share some of his stories anonymously.

This is Chinese on Chinese crime and it is very underground, it is away from the public gaze, in the deepest darkest recesses of the Chinese mafia's world. So yeah, there are real second class citizens by that token, but we're talking about people who are sold into slavery but don't dare to go to the police for help because they fear being arrested for being an illegal immigrant - those are the real second class citizens. Not some whiny Singaporean loser who wants to bitch about not getting a promotion in his company.

I remember Jason telling me this horrific story of an illegal Chinese immigrant who broke his leg whilst working in a Chinatown Chinese restaurant - the poor guy was unloading supplies from the lorry in the rain when he slipped and fell. Because he was an illegal immigrant, he didn't dare go to a hospital to get a doctor to treat his broken leg for fear that they will start asking him questions and call the police. So instead, he was taken to a Chinese physician in Chinatown who basically bandaged up his leg, gave the poor guy some painkillers and told his employers that the guy's leg is broken and he needs to go to a hospital at once. Did they take him to the hospital? No, instead they locked him up and gave him more painkillers. The guy was locked up with a broken leg, unable to walk, unable to work. His gang masters didn't know what to do with him as he was a liability and they talked about getting rid of him by driving him to a deserted wooded area in Hertfordshire, killing him there and dumping his body in a lake.

Their plans almost came to fruition - they told the guy with the broken leg they were taking him to a hospital out of town and they put in him the car and drove to Hertfordshire late at night. However, they got hit by a drunk driver who was speeding on the motorway and it was resulted in a big accident involving several vehicles. So ironically, instead of being dumped in a lake, our Chinese man with the broken leg was taken to a hospital where they did save his leg and his gang masters were arrested. Sadly for him, when he was discharged from hospital, he was placed in jail awaiting deportation back to China for being an illegal immigrant. That was where Jason met him and pieced together this incredible story that wouldn't have been told had it not been for that car accident.

There are some unspeakable horrors that go on in Chinatown London.

Now you wanna talk about second class citizen, those are real second class citizens. Singaporeans who come to work or study in the UK are treated as first class citizens - ie. we're the same before the eyes of British law, we are treated equally under the eyes of the law and there are too many people who play the race card when they really should take responsibility for their own failures. I have said this before many times and I need to say this again: British people are not racist! European people are not racist. White people are not racist. Get that into your heads once and for all. Yes there are some isolated incidences of racism in the West, I'm not pretending that they don't exist - but these are exceptions to the norm and when you do encounter racism, you can stand up for yourself and take action against the perpetrators of the racism (as I have done, in this episode here).

Singapore, on the other hand, is different because it clearly treats male Singaporeans as second class citizens and so many stupid Singaporean males gladly defend the system because they have no other choice but to put up with it. By all means accept things the way they are, condone it silently if you must - but do me a favour, don't expect me to celebrate it as the greatest thing since sliced bread. Let me spell it out for you: in Singapore, male Singaporeans are expected to serve 2 years (up to 2.5 years in my time) of national service whilst the government is giving out scholarships to people like Alvin Tan and Sun Xu who do not have to serve national service. Oh and that money for those scholarships, that's the tax money that Singaporean male Singaporeans have paid to the government. What a total insult and you Singaporean men simply bend over and take it from the PAP. Great.

Singaporean males bear the burden of NS.

If you want to welcome foreign talents to work in Singapore, fine - all modern cities have plenty of international expatriates these days anyway, but why go out of your way to penalize Singaporean males, expecting them to bear the burden of NS + reservist whilst giving these foreigners scholarships and advantages in the job market? What can I say, Singaporean men have put themselves in this position, that's what's wrong with Singaporean men: they are subservient, meek and never dare to speak up. Some even go out of their way to try to reason with me that without the government's policies of FTs, Singapore's future would be at stake and their sacrifices are made in the name of nation building. Yeah right. I refer you to the Demon-cratic cartoon below which sums up the way I feel about Singaporean men (and check out this earlier post I did as well).

Now here's the difference between staying in Singapore and striking it out in the UK: in the UK, I could have ended up in a difficult situation like Olga or Mark. Nonetheless, Singaporeans who work in Singapore can also find themselves in equally horrible situations. If I had returned to Singapore, I know for certain that I would be screwed by the system because I was a male Singaporean and the system automatically discriminated against me. So as to avoid being screwed by the Singaporean system, I worked in the UK as a Singaporean expatriate and then only returned to work in Singapore as a British expatriate when I got my British passport and renounced my Singaporean passport - go figure. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Let met spell this out for you:

Singapore: Male Singaporeans are subjected to NS, followed by reservist activities. Foreigners and female Singaporeans are exempt.
UK: Citizens and permanent residents are not obliged to serve any kind of national service.

Singapore: Working Singaporeans are obliged to participate in the CPF scheme by law. Foreigners working in Singapore are exempt.
UK: Citizens are not obliged to have a pension, many do make private arrangements for their own retirement pensions, but that is up to each individual to plan for himself/herself.

Singapore: Citizens are obliged to participate in Medisave and have to put aside 6.5% to 9% of their savings into a personal Medisave account. Foreigners working in Singapore are exempt.
UK: The NHS is free at the point of access for all who are residing legally in the UK, this includes foreign students for example (but excludes tourists).

Of course, I could go on listing the various ways Singaporeans are treated as second class citizens in their own country or how the system in the UK clearly does not discriminate against Asian migrants, but this is such an emotive issue that most people have already made up their minds on the issue. There will always be people like my dad who will insist that Asians are second class citizens in the West because white people are inherently racist. He would choose to ignore all the evidence that contradicts his long held racist views of white people and he would even go as far as to make up totally false stories to justify his extremely racist views.

There are no perfect countries in the world, there are problems in Singapore, there are problems in the West, there are problems everywhere. However, to assume the very worst of white people is not only racist, it is one choosing to take a worst case scenario point of view of a very complex situation. Ultimately, the (rather slim) possibility of encountering racism is but one of a long list of many challenges that one faces when one moves to another country, so it is curious why Singaporeans seem so fixated on it when there are far more tangible challenges to deal with - such as that of trying to raise a family without the help of grandparents or coping with the challenges of having to work in a foreign language environment. It is never easy to leave the familiar settings of the country you grew up in and try to strike it out in a country halfway around the world and it is necessary for us to talk about those challenges in a sensible manner - but this ridiculous notion of Asians being "second class citizens" in the West has got to stop once and for all. It is a vile, vicious, racist lie spread by ignorant, stupid Singaporeans.

All citizens are equal here in the UK, unlike Singapore.

So, what do you think? Have you worked abroad before? What are the challenges you face? If you are thinking of working abroad, what are your concerns? You know what to do, leave a comment below - many thanks!

Part 2: Moving abroad, answering your questions

2013-06-11T00:19:00.000+01:00

Woah, since my last blog post went absolutely viral (66,989 views on my blog in the last 24 hours, hey MDA that exceeds 50,000 so what are you gonna do), I am now going to take the opportunity to answer some of the comments left on TRS' website and Facebook page. Now it is heartening to know that many Singaporeans do agree with me that the PAP's stance on foreign talents is inherently unfair, creating a unique situation where Singaporean citizens are second class citizens in their own country, but what about life abroad? There are many questions asked, many people disagreeing and arguing and so allow me to offer my point of view to try to answer those questions.

Like I have said many times before, life in England isn't perfect, there isn't a perfect a perfect country or city anywhere - you take the good with the bad and you double check that against what you're looking for in life. I am not pretending for a moment that there aren't problems in the UK, but then again, they are different problems compared to the ones Singaporeans face and it is just a question of what set of challenges would you rather face in your life? Which would suit you better? Where will you be happier in the long run? Now, onto your comments.

Angie Tan U really think Singapore is abnormal? I beg to differ. Developed countries treat everyone equally be it you r foreigner or not. Think twice before idolizing those countries. First of all, if one is so used to being served here, with maid washing your cars, your dishes, cook and clean, please forget about these luxuries when one is abroad because u will be paying them an executive/graduates salary. Many whom I know, eventually has to quit their job to be home makers because it's cheaper n more viable to do so. Somethings gotta give.

And again if they are treating everyone equally, how n what makes u think none of their own people will tend to be marginalized? There are still unemployement there. Haven't you read France unemployment surged to the highest lately in 14 years? Check out London's unemployement please. So while a Singaporean is being employed and having 2 houses in London, there are still local Londoners living under the bridge.

Is it hard to find a job in the West?

Well, Angie, unfortunately Limpeh never had the luxury of a maid when I was an Ah Beng growing up in Ang Mo Kio - if you did, good for you, you're lucky, I hope you realize how fortunate you are. I never got used to the idea of having a domestic maid, it's like having a stranger in the house. I find that strange - I have someone who comes in once a week to do the heavy-duty cleaning (scrubbing the kitchen, doing the windows, toilets, mopping the floor etc) and that's it. He comes in, he cleans, he leaves. If you do want a full time domestic maid, they are available in the UK, there are plenty of Eastern European domestic workers in the UK who are doing jobs like that - and no, they're not paid graduate salaries. They are paid fairly, they are not exploited like the domestic workers in Singapore.

It really depends on what you're paying them to do. If you are merely paying them to clean/cook, then they get paid less - but many double up as child-minders and will take on tasks like picking up the children after school and supervising their homework etc, then they are paid more. Such child minders are vital for families with two working parents who spend long hours in the office and many parents are happy to pay big bucks for a quality child minder who is really good with their children - this is determined by market forces. These maids/child minders treat their job as a career and enjoy a higher status than your average Filipino domestic helper in Singapore. My sister has a brilliant Indonesian maid who is so intelligent and does all that - including helping my nephew with his homework, but she isn't paid any more than an Indonesian maid who only cooks and cleans - is that fair? I don't think so. What is wrong with treating your maids with a bit more respect and dignity? I find it distasteful the way Singaporeans have this assumption of superiority over foreign domestic workers - now that's just plain wrong.

I have never had a maid - just a cleaner.

As for 'treating everyone equally' and making sure that their own people will not be marginalized, get real Angie. Even if you're dealing with the local indigenous population in the UK, you will get a wide range of talents and abilities - from those who are as brilliant as Alan Sugar, Richard Branson and Tim Berners-Lee to those who are totally bueh tak chek and hopeless, as epitomized by the comedy character Vicki Pollard (and there's everything in between). Such is the nature of human society, if I may refer you to the famous IQ distribution bell curve below - it is a simple way to demonstrate to you that in any society, some people are smart, some people are stupid and most people are average. This applies in any country in the world you go to.

I am employed, earning good money and have an expanding property portfolio because I happen to be on the right end of the bell curve. Well, I have a lot of natural business acumen and that isn't the same as IQ per se, but you get the idea. Those on the wrong side of this IQ bell curve have the odds stacked against them from the start, they are the ones who will never do well at school, struggle to get anything more than menial labour and when the going gets tough in a recession, they are the ones who are far more likely to lose their jobs. I'm sorry but that's the sad reality of human society - we're not all born equal with the same factory settings, some of us are born with more talents than others. Life is simply not fair - did you think for a moment that life was supposed to be fair?

I dive twice a week at a sports complex in Victoria and I cycle there - often passing some homeless people on the way. Why are those people on the streets? Are they there because they are brilliant, talented, hardworking locals who are forced out of their jobs by immigrants like me? Or are they more likely to be those on the wrong side of the IQ bell curve who have had the odds stacked against them from the start? It's way too easy to blame immigrants and use them as a scapegoat for the issue of unemployment. Would any of these homeless people I pass on the way be as qualified as me and be able to do my job? No, very few people can - and that's how I justify the rates I charge as a consultant.

Are you unique or can anyone do your job?

Sure there are unemployment issues here, there are many things that the governments can do to create more jobs, to get our economy out of this dreadful recession that has gone on way too long, to stimulate growth in our economy - but you need to look at the wider picture rather than blame immigrants for the problem. One of the key problems (which isn't unique to the UK) is that of education and skills training - the better prepared our students are for entering the working world, the less likely they are to end up unemployed. So it is a question of giving these young people practical skills that will lead to jobs, it's about giving them useful work experience and apprenticeships, it is about shifting focus away from memorizing academic concepts to learning practical problem solving skills. That is what we need to resolve the issue of unemployment - rather than just blame the immigrants and claim that once you get rid of the foreigners, our problem of unemployment will be solved: it isn't that simple.

Pamela Xu Those living under bridges tend to be those with alcohol dependency and psychiatric problems.

Precisely, more can be done to help these people with their problems (such as substance abuse) and help them get back to some semblance of a normal life. These people end up homeless because of the various problems in their lives - everyone of them will have a different story to tell but it usually begins with them getting a rough start to life with the odds stacked against them to succeed. The government does offer free homeless shelters to homeless people on the streets - but in exchange for a roof over their heads and three hot meals a day, it means a strict no drugs policy (which many addicts refuse to adhere to) and also, the agencies may say, "I can get you a place in a hostel in Hull or Newport, we can put you on a bus to go there tonight. Sorry but all the hostels in London are full and we cannot offer you a place here, but if you're prepared to go to Hull or Newport, then we can help you." You get the idea, there are many reasons why homeless people turn down what they are offered.

Many who are homeless have all kinds of problems and need help.

Angie Tan Peet Toh, nonsense x3. Unless u get a promotion or of different ranking there. The pay for the same position in Aussie is 1:1 of Singapore. Don't paint all blue skies picture ok. I've seen frens there who stayed unemployed for 2 creaking years. Some get a job after sending in 100+ applications. Some living in their mobile for months while looking for jobs. U r just one lucky bugger (Aussie slang). Doesn't mean it's blue skies there. Your tax is 40+% and u are subsidizing the unemployment benefits there making people who ain't working less motivated to work. U have to fix the plumbing, painting and everything in your house yourself unless u r a filthy rich china man who can pay for the exorbitant labour. Oh well the list goes on n on. Being rooted and being patriotic and having sense of belonging is what makes us human.

On the issue of the pay and tax in Australia, I beg to differ and I know you're wrong. As I have written on this topic before on my blog, if I may I refer you to my previous posts here please:
http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/the-fallacy-about-tax-in-west.html
http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/part-3-working-hours-in-east-vs-west.html

It would be wrong to assume that everything is perfect in Australia and that one would automatically become rich and successful when you move there - but again, it is necessary to take responsibility for one's failures as well. If your friend is unemployed for 2 years in Australia - who do you blame?

1) your friend - for not having the right skills, for not applying for the right jobs, for not performing well at the job interviews, for not identifying business opportunities etc
2) Australia per se

Yes I am an Ah Beng from Ang Mo Kio who has moved from Singapore to London and have been reasonably successful in my career - is that because I am "one lucky bugger"? Or can I take credit for the way I have identified the right industry for me to apply my skills and find lucrative work? I don't believe it's all blue skies here in the West (or in Singapore for that matter) - but quite simply, you have to be very street wise in terms of finding work, you have to be good with people, you need plenty of soft skills on top of academic qualifications and training in order to secure good jobs. It's not just luck - you reap what you sow when it comes to job hunting. Your fate is in your hands and when someone ends up unemployed for 2 years, I blame them - not the economy or the country.

As for the plumbing, painting and other handy chores around the house, I say, thank goodness for the Eastern Europeans in the UK - they are hardworking, industrious and provide an excellent service. The plumber whom I use is Hungarian - he turns up on time, works so quickly, speaks English fluently and charges about 60% of what an English plumber would charge. Why would I use an English plumber when I can use a Hungarian plumber? What about English plumbers then, I hear you ask, are they being undercut by these Polish, Hungarian, Lithuanian and Estonian plumbers? But such is the nature of the free market - if someone comes up with a better, cheaper product/service, they are bound to get the business and it is then up to you to react to that and show your clients why you have a better service.

Peeh Toh Of course even without Sg PR I can get an Aussie PR. The most important are the jobs I experience in Sg. It's not about being a Sg PR. Am I not entitle to share what is Singapore to me? So what?

Hi Peeh Toh, of course you are entitled to speak your mind on the issue. You may not agree with what I have to say or what Angie has to say on the issue, but nobody should have the right to tell you to 'shut up and sit down' - your opinions are just as valid as anyone's here. Nobody is right or wrong, we all have the right to contribute to the discourse here, so please don't allow anyone to try to censor or silence you and I would like to thank you for being a part of the conversation here. Let's all try to keep it civil please as we keep the debate going.

Angie Tan Peeh Toh, speaking frm a land once well known for anti Asian, to call Singapore racist, that's like pot calling kettle black.

Well, Australia has its fair share of racism in the past, but things have improved a lot in recent years and whilst the situation isn't perfect there, it is unfair to paint it as a racist country. It is an evolving country, there is a transition period for Asian migrants to become assimilated and it usually takes one generation. The generation who moves there may not always assimilate well (especially if there is a language barrier), but when their children are born and raised in Australia as Australians, then it is the next generation that will become well and truly assimilated.

And as for Singaporeans being xenophobic and racists, I refer you to my post on the issue here: http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/xenophobia-london-vs-singapore.html

How racists are Singaporeans?

Jeffrey Tan I was born here, went through poverty n hardship. I wont run away n give this country to d aliens. Country belongs to true born citizen n not d garmen. Vote them out ! if they get out of hand.

Ah Jeffrey, I admire your spirit and desire to be patriotic, even as you're treated as a second class citizen in your own country, even as you're made to serve NS whilst the government gives out scholarships to people like Sun Xu who don't have to serve NS. I know you love Singapore but does Singapore love you in return? "Vote them out if they get out of hand?" I admire your capacity for putting up with the PAP's bullshit, they have been treating you like shit for all these years and you still don't think they've gotten out of hand yet? You have confused me Jeffrey - if you do love the PAP and support them, then I can understand why you said what you said, but clearly, you don't support the PAP but you're still willing to put up with their crap? What is going on Jeffrey?

Jeffrey loves Singapore but does Singapore love Jeffrey?

Angie Tan But are these type of economy or administration sustainable? Of course everyone would love to be unemployed and get paid. Who doesn't? Haha. Look at Europe now. London inclusive. They are like a debt bubble waiting to burst. And we Asians and Singaporeans still keep idolizing them.

Bottom line is, this world itself IS a capitalist world. No matter where you set foot on. It's often survival of the fittest. One man's meat is another man's poison. Wherever u r happy in, stay there, be committed and serve. Don't expect to be served all the time.

Okay, two points I want to deal with here with Angie again. There are some economies that have imploded - Greece, Spain and Cyprus because of a range of reasons, not just borrowing per se. I agree that governments that continually spend beyond their means are setting themselves up for trouble in the future - but it is extremely simplistic to look at a country at Spain and say, "it's all because of their debt bubble". The problems in Spain are muy complicados - there's a potent Spanish cocktail of problems that have been brewing for years: everything from aggressive labour unions to employment laws that are not business friendly to an education system that has failed young people to the lack of long term planning by governments only focused on the outcome of the next election. Oh they have a very long list of problems that extend way beyond the debt bubble. You need to see the big picture Angie.

The problems that the Spanish economy faces are very complicated indeed.

Likewise, there are economies like Ireland, Iceland, Estonia and Latvia who were affected by the recession and had tough years - but some like Iceland are showing green shoots of recovery in recent years and things are looking promising in Iceland today. The fact is some of these countries will recover faster than others, recessions will come and go as they have over the course of history but some countries will recover and emerge stronger than others. Just because a country is in trouble today doesn't mean it won't be booming again in the near future. You can't treat 'Europe' as a monolithic entity when there are countries like Sweden and Norway which have been booming whilst others like Cyprus and Greece have been in big trouble - and there's everything in between.

Yes we're in a capitalist world, yes it is the survival of the fittest - but I am a lot more practical when it comes to this concept of 'be committed and serve'. I served NS faithfully for 2 years 4 months only to be treated like a second-class citizen in Singapore? And when I worked in Istanbul, it was a booming city with plenty of opportunities and whilst it breaks my heart to see what is happening to that beautiful city today, I would not return there to work again until things return to normal, hopefully under a new, more democratic government without that evil dictator Erdogan.

We live in a capitalist world - cash is king.

Pamela Xu London is very dangerous with lots of fanatics. If is now called Londonistan. Better to move to smaller towns in the countryside.

Are we talking about the same city? London, like any big city, has its share of crime - but fanatics? What the hell are you talking about? Sure we may have a few isolated incidents like the attack in Woolwich recently and then you have to go back several years for the 7 July bombings in 2005, but you are clearly making a hateful, racist statement about Muslims. Yes there are Muslims in London as we are a vibrant, multi-cultural, multi-ethnic city but the vast majority of Muslims are modern, secular and peace-loving members of our society who are anything but fanatics. You cannot spout such hateful statements just because there are a few fundamentalists who do stupid things - I am living in central London and am very happy where I am thank you. Stop making hateful anti-Muslim remarks like that Pamela!

I am very happy living in London, it is a safe and lovely city.

Hanafi Supanova The govt may be bullocks but my heart belongs to my country.. so for this only reason I will never leave my motherland behind

How sweet - Hanafi loves Singapore. It's a shame Singapore doesn't love Hanafi and treats him like a second class citizen in his own country, ah well - love is blind indeed!

Fashirah Parvin I will never do so because I am a foreigner in another country. Those govt give priority to their locals. Why on earth would I leave my country and give it in to some foreigners??? I will not let foreign idiots take over Singapore!

Actually Fashirah, that is not true. Let's look at the case of Canada for example, there are certain gaps in the Canadian job market which they are desperate to fill such as nurses. Yes they are working on long term solutions to try to get more Canadians into nursing - but it is a long process that needs to start with getting more nurses trained up and that takes several years at least to rectify the situation. In the meantime, they are gladly getting trained nurses from places like India, Philippines and yes Singapore to come to work in Canada, in their Canadian hospitals to ensure that their hospitals are sufficiently staffed with qualified nurses to care for sick and injured in their Canadian hospitals.

Do you understand how job markets work?

So in this case, it's not a question of the Canadian government not giving priority to their locals - the Canadian government can't force their local Canadians to go into nursing as a profession. It just so happens that when left to the free market, younger Canadians have opted to work in other industries, in other professions instead, leaving a gap in the job market that needs to be filled urgently (imagine what would happen to their hospitals if they didn't have enough nurses). Hence foreign nurses in Canada are well-paid, respected and treated with respect because they are there to fill an important gap in the job market, to provide a vital service that Canadians need.

It's simply a question of supply and demand in the labour market - when gaps appear in a labour market, that's when migration can happen for foreign workers to step in and fill that gap. It's just how market forces determine where these gaps may appear in certain labour markets and when they appear, it's not a question of giving priority to locals when the locals don't even want to do those jobs (such as nursing in Canada). So please don't assume anything about how governments in the West behave towards foreign workers.

As for the influx of foreigners in Singapore, hey, what can I say - 60.14% of the electorate voted for this so obviously 60.14% of you Singaporeans love foreigners. You got what you voted for, right? If you didn't vote for the PAP, then oh dear, I'm feel sorry for you as you would have to reconcile yourself to the fact that the majority of Singapore did vote for this and supports the PAP's vision for a bigger Singapore with plenty of foreigners.

Zhi Wei Abit wrong leh. If the IC in the first picture is his, he serve army in 1995 he is only 14 years old?

The pink IC in the TRS article is clearly not mine - I had to surrender mine to the Singapore High Commission in London when I renounced my citizenship years ago and no, I didn't take a photo of it as a souvenir. Maybe I should've - but hey, too late as they don't let you hold on to your Singaporean passport or NRIC after you cease being a Singaporean citizen. That NRIC photo was placed there by the TRS editor, not me. As you can see on my blog, I didn't use that photo. Here's a recent photo for you if you wanna know what Limpeh looks like. I'm 37 years old.

That's me with my Chao Ah Beng glare.

Yiming Woo · What I got from this article: this guy has mother issues

Well Yiming, yes and no. Yes I do have mother issues in that I never got along with my mother and was never close to her; but then again, my friend Anita is in the same situation - ie. she doesn't get along with her mother. However, after she got married, she focused her time, energy and efforts on her husband rather than her parents and virtually ignored her mother for years. Her mother made little efforts to reach out to this estranged daughter as well and the most astonishing part of the story is this: they all live in Tampines within a short walk of each other. Yeah, Anita used to tell me that she would even accidentally bump into her mother at the bus stop or local supermarket and they still wouldn't say much to each other! So you can fall out with your parents without moving halfway around the world.

So yes, if I didn't have mother issues I wouldn't be raising them in my blog - gosh, I really don't give a damn if people say, "oh you shouldn't talk about things like that on your blog, it may embarrass your parents etc." But I feel that only someone who has had Singaporean parents can relate to what I have been through, someone like my reader Xiong Mao has expressed empathy and understanding. I can't express the comfort I get when I read his comments today and I thought, aha - at least one person out there understands me. So maybe I should have addressed my 'mother issues' in a separate blog post, but my mother wasn't the reason why I gave up my Singaporean nationality.

So there you go, that's a lot of questions dealt with and there have been so many comments I couldn't possibly reply to all of them on Facebook and TRS' website - but yes I seem to have stumbled upon a topic that is definitely of interest to many Singaporeans. Feel free to keep those questions coming but the most efficient way for you to get me to notice your question is for you to leave a comment directly here on my blog. I may or may not see your comment on Facebook or TRS' website but have to personally approve all comments on my blog. Thanks everyone for visiting my blog!

Limpeh in Austria earlier this year

Why I gave up my Pink IC

2013-06-10T00:57:00.001+01:00

Hi readers, this post is in response to a question that the admin of TRS asked me in one of my earlier posts this week, he seemed surprised that I no longer have a pink IC (ie. Singaporean nationality). Oh and yes, I gave up my Singaporean nationality years ago in 2007 - because there was really no benefit to holding on to my pink IC. I know I have talked about the process several times over the years on my blog, but since I have been asked, I will deal with the topic again. I think it is important for me to talk about as I think it is important to let the PAP know that well educated and highly skilled ex-Singaporeans are so dismayed at the way the PAP is running the country that they have left for good: it is the ultimate statement that says, "I have so little faith in the PAP that I believe I'm better off elsewhere."

Let me tell you a little bit about how I came to the UK and settled here. I first came to the UK as a student in 1997 for university, I applied for many scholarships and had received several offers. I chose to accept one from my university as it didn't come with a bond - I was wary about committing myself to a job even before my starting my degree. I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do at that age, so. I opted for a scholarship that didn't come with a bond so as to keep my options open. So in the last year of my university, I started applying for jobs and got an offer, which I accepted and started working in London. I truly enjoyed living and working in London - it is a brilliant city and the thought of returning to work in Singapore became more and more remote. After all, I had spent the first 21 years of my life in Singapore - it was now my chance to see the rest of the world! I since went on to work in many more cities around Europe and the Middle East on various contracts (Istanbul, Bratislava, Frankfurt, Dubai, Prague, Geneva to name a few) and the more I worked abroad, the more I liked it. Oh some the adventures I have had over the years.

Limpeh in Istanbul.

Here's how it works in the UK - once you have worked in the UK for 5 years (time spent as a student under a student visa does NOT count towards these 5 years), then you can apply for permanent leave to remain (Singaporeans refer to this as 'permanent residency'/PR). After you have held permanent leave to remain status for 2 years, you can apply to be a citizen. At every stage of the process, you're subjected to tests (standard of English, knowledge of life in the UK, your ability to earn a living, how much money you have etc) to ensure that you are the kind of person the UK wants. There is a points system to make this evaluation more straight forward and this has been modeled on the immigration system of other countries like Australia and Canada which have been using it for years.

So why did I choose to take on British citizenship? After all, at one stage, I was a Singaporean expatriate in the UK with permanent right to remain in the UK (ie. as a 'permanent resident' in the UK) - there was no restriction on my rights to work or step up a business in the UK, so why did I take the next step to take on British citizenship, knowing that I had to give up my Singaporean citizenship in the process since Singapore does not allow for dual-nationality?

Life in Britain has so much to offer.

Firstly, it was far easier to work all over the EU with a British passport and I was able to take advantage of so many more opportunities, take on so many more contracts with a British passport thanks to freedom of movement of labour within the EU - I can get off the plane in another EU country and hit the ground running with full rights to work. With a Singapore passport, it would've been more complicated, far more paperwork involved etc. It wouldn't have been impossible, but it would've been more difficult and I didn't want to be disadvantaged in the job market.

Secondly, it's far more advantageous to work in Singapore as an FT than a Singaporean! Don't hate the player, hate the game - blame the PAP, don't blame the foreigners. The PAP created a regime whereby I was far better off working in Singapore as a British expatriate than as a Singaporean returning to work in S'pore - NS reservist liability, CPF etc. The system was geared towards attracting talented expatriates at the expense of locals who were expected to put up with the injustice in the name of being patriotic. Given that I am not interested in buying a HDB flat in Singapore (I already have two properties in London), can someone please give me a reason to hold on to my pink IC?

NS for Singaporeans, jobs for FTs.

Well, I hear a lot of you saying, "yeah but your parents are here right? My parents are here too, that's why I am still here." If I may be painfully blunt, I never got along with my mother - I had a terrible relationship with her ever since I was a child and we drove each other up the wall. She was impossible to please and her approval was impossible to get - everything I did seemed to make her angry. My academic records (not one, not two, but three scholarships) coupled with my achievement in sports would have been any Singaporean parents' wet dream - but she still hated practically everything I did and was never satisfied. There was no mutual trust, no mutual respect.

It took us such a long time to learn how to have a civil relationship as an adults and if I may be blunt, I will never feel close to her, she will never understand me and I think it's just way too late to try to foster anything more than a superficial, polite relationship as we spent my formative years so distant and not understanding each other. It sounds really cold of me to say that, but that's the uncensored truth. Not everyone has happy childhood memories of getting along with their parents but few of us dare to talk about it publicly - here's a song from my childhood that really captured that feeling of frustration I had with my mother as a child.

Many Singaporeans do not think about just how very disadvantaged they are by the system - male Singaporeans get a particularly bad deal, being doubly disadvantaged by the liabilities of NS (and many years of reservist liabilities) and CPF contributions when having to compete with FTs who come with none of those liabilities. So it isn't surprising that many who are in a position to leave do leave and this brings me neatly to my next point.

The PAP would rather people like myself who do choose to leave just shut up and disappear - because the anomaly of me returning to S'pore to work as an FT simply exposes just how disadvantaged locals are under the PAP's system which is so pro-FT and discriminates against local Singaporeans (CPF, NS liabilities). Why am I being rewarded for giving up my Singaporean passport by the Singaporean system? Why aren't Singaporeans who were patriotic and held on to their Singaporean passports rewarded instead?

How important is one's nationality anyway?

Many Singaporeans are simply playing into the hands on the PAP by labeling people like me quitters and unpatriotic, but they don't pause for a moment and think - hang on, there is something wrong with the system if this guy is better off in Singapore as an FT than as a Singaporean. The government did invest a lot of money in me (2 scholarships in my JC days: humanities scholarship + SSC scholarship) and the fact that I chose to develop my career abroad (rather than say returning to work for a statutory board like the URA) represents a brain drain from Singapore that has been going on for years - Singapore has been hemorrhaging talented, well educated people who can leave and do move abroad for a better life after having benefited from the Singaporean education system.

Thus these Singaporeans who do not have the option of leaving often lash out at individuals like myself who do have that option and have taken it - that's terribly misguided to say the least. Why blame us when you should be blaming the government who created such a system in the first place? If these people had the option to leave, many of them probably would as well - but that's a hypothetical question which they will often claim, "Never! I love Singapore and am patriotic, unlike you turncoat traitors!" And I'm like, yeah dude, you're stuck there, no other country will take someone like you, so you may as well love what you're stuck with.

You love Singapore but does Singapore love you?

Mind you, I knew this person back in Singapore... let's call her MK. Now I mean no disrespect to MK but she would never gain enough points on the Australian/Canadian/British immigration system to ever gain entry to these countries, so she used to tell me, "Singapore is where I grew up, it is where my heart is, it is where my family is, I will never abandon it. I may not like the PAP, I do not support the PAP - of course things are not perfect here but I am staying and fighting for a better Singapore because I love Singapore and the people here, this is where I belong... blah blah blah." Guess what? A few years later, she married an Australian and was on the next plane out to Australia. (As a spouse she gets to by pass the entire points based entry system.) She is now an Australian citizen and has given up her pink IC. What happened to all her ideals about fighting for a better Singapore now eh? I suspect there are probably many Singaporeans out there like MK who would do exactly what she did if given the opportunity to leave.

This brain drain of individuals like myself leaves a gap which the government is gladly filling with foreign talents from China, the Philippines, India and other countries. Now this is leading to all kinds of social problems, upsetting the locals who have been taken aback by this influx of migrants in recent years. Allow me to point out the obvious please: rather than desperately trying to replace the brain drain with new migrants, why not try to instead retain Singaporean talent whom the government have invested so much in? How about leveling the playing field when it comes to Singaporean males who are trying to compete with FTs in Singapore with the odds stacked against them?

Does this bring back memories guys?

So who do you blame in this situation? The government may claim, "if people like Limpeh didn't leave Singapore in the first place, we wouldn't need all these foreigners to come and work in Singapore. The brain drain has created a gap that we have to fill one way or another." To which I would reply, "if Singaporean males were treated more fairly under your system, then I might have considered working in Singapore as a Singaporean. Fix your system first, don't blame us for leaving when your system is so inherently unfair and discriminates against male Singaporeans." Is it a chicken and egg situation? Why hasn't this unfair system been challenged yet after all these years?

But no, the government is simply not going to do anything about the situation for the simple reason: the vast majority of Singaporeans are not able to simply leave and move to another country because countries like Australia, the UK and Canada have raised the bar of entry over the years. It was far easier to emigrate to such countries in the 1990s and 2000s, but ever since the recent recession hit, many of these countries have raised the bar of entry to try to protect their locals who are facing raising unemployment. Thus the PAP can quite easily sit back and say, "你有本事走你走啦!" (translation: feel free to leave if you think you have the ability to do so!) knowing that the vast majority of Singaporeans in 2013 will probably not have the 本事to 走 and have no other choice but to remain in Singapore.

Can you move to Australia? It depends on how highly qualified you are.

Hence those of us who do leave are subjected to so much resentment... It's like poor people waiting at a bus stop in the pouring rain feeling resentful and angry when they see a rich man driving down the road in a beautiful, expensive car. "How dare you drive to work in such a nice car when the rest of us are suffering, getting wet in the rain, waiting for the bus which is crowded and already late? Get out of that nice car and come and suffer with us in the bus stop!" The driver in the nice car would turn around and simply say, "Life's not fair, I can afford a car - you can't. I could take the bus like you, but why would I when I can drive my nice car to work? Why should I suffer like you when I don't have to?"

By that same token, I get the feeling that a lot of my haters expect me to return to Singapore and suffer the same injustices they do under the Singaporean system - what can I say, misery loves company. (I did serve my full 2 years 4 months of national service from January 1995 to May 1997.) Perhaps in highlighting my story and experiences, I am reminding them just how screwed they are under this very unfair system - but isn't this simply them shooting the messenger for the message? Okay perhaps there's an element of me rubbing salt in the wound for them, but would you rather everyone kept quiet about just how inherently unfair the system in Singapore is? Ask yourself this: how much are you willing to put up with before you finally say, enough is enough, that's it, I am leaving because the government has gone too far this time. Remember the way they sneaked the MDA's Broadcast Act into the law without even debating it in parliament - what next? Are you going to turn the other cheek and keep silent every time this happens?

At the end of the day, I am a rational, pragmatic person who considered the pros and cons of holding on to my Singaporean passport vs giving it up - and after having considered all the factors I came to the decision I did and became a British citizen, especially given how I mortified I am in the way the PAP has been running Singapore in the last 10 years and the direction they are heading. For the sake of a balanced argument, I have come up with a few reasons to hold on to a Singaporean passport to conclude this piece.

1. It would be easier to buy a HDB flat. (But then again, if you're able to meet the criteria to obtain nationality in the West, you should be able to buy property on the private market without any government subsidy.)

HDB flats in Ang Mo Kio - do you want to buy one of these?

2. Singaporeans don't need a visa to visit many countries - China, Turkey, Vietnam, Indonesia etc - whilst British travelers need to pay for a visa.

3. Really highly skilled individuals don't really need to worry about what passport they hold - they will be able to get the necessary visas wherever they go. Eduardo Saverin is a resident in Singapore (which country wouldn't roll out the red carpet for a man like him) - but he is not taking Singaporean nationality.

Eduardo Saverin

4. Holding on to a Singaporean passport means still being able to vote in Singaporean elections and influence the outcome of future elections, even standing for elections if that's what you want (but it's not what I want).

5. The luxury of avoiding long queues when you land at Changi Airport - goodness me, when you see me stuck behind a bunch of PRC tourists at Changi Airport, give me a sympathetic smile please.

6. I suppose there are those growth dividends from the government, but all those CPF and Medisave contributions do cancel those out - so I am not sure if they're worth hanging around for given that they're only given out sporadically.

How much are those growth dividends worth?

What other benefits are there to hold on to a Singaporean passport? Have you considered moving abroad? Would you if you had the chance? Would you simply acquire PR in another country but still hold on to your Singaporean passport? And more importantly, how much crap from the PAP are you prepared to put up with before you leave, assuming that they still go on and win the next three or four elections? Please let me know by leaving a comment below, thanks!

Update: Part 2 http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/part-2-moving-abroad-answering-your.html

Limpeh endorsed by URA - WTF?

2013-06-09T01:49:00.000+01:00

I like seeing people read and enjoy my blog - but imagine my shock when I found my blog reproduced on URA's website here. The URA (Urban Renewal Authority) reproduced my blog post in full, uncensored, including the bits which read, "Fucking hell. Fuck you PAP and please just shove it." and "Fuck the PAP. So glad these fuckers lost in Punggol East." Granted I was quoting comments I have read on Facebook, but still I thought the words 'fuck you PAP' would never appear on a URA website, but there you go. Okay, at least they didn't try to censor the word fuck or the fact that clearly, I have made my feelings very clear about how I feel about the PAP.

To be fair, whilst the URA is a part of the government as a statutory board, they are not strictly speaking part of the PAP. The people who work at the URA may very well support the opposition. I had a look at the article preceeding mine on the URA website and it was one by Bertha Harian (ooh I am in good company - that was a good article) and the rest of the articles in that series were rather anti-PAP, I was pretty shocked but there you go. The URA believe it or not, is actually listening to people out there on what they had to say about the government's population white paper, including those of us who are clearly, blatantly, vehemently anti-PAP. And modesty aside, I wrote a pretty good piece looking at life in cities more crowded than Singapore - what can I say, my A level geography teacher Mr Truman would be proud.

But there you go - not all civil servants are cronies of the PAP, even if they are working for a governmental organisation. Who knows, had I chosen to return to Singapore upon my graduation, I may have ended up working at somewhere like URA given that I was armed with a degree in the social sciences from one of the top universities in the world. So yes, perhaps this is a cause for us to have a bit more faith in the statutory boards of Singapore - the list is long but some of the more familiar names include the CAAS, HDB, IRAS, LTA, NParks, STB and PUB.

Is there a link between town planning and politics? There shouldn't be.

So if the professionals working at the statutory boards are independent (are opposed to PAP cronies who will do their every bidding) and are they then able to come up with policies and projects autonomously? Sadly no, this is Singapore, what did you expect? Wouldn't it be ideal if the government had a more hands off approach to the statutory boards and trust these experts to just get on with what they are best at? MDA - the Media Development Authority in one such statutory board who clearly serving the PAP's every whim with this Broadcast Act fiasco. In my last post, I have talked about just how utterly ridiculous and delusional Yaacob Ibrahim is when he thinks he can dictate to foreign media sources like the BBC and CNN what they can and cannot say about Singapore.

OK, so some of the politicians in the PAP are clueless when it comes to how modern media operates. It is clear that Yaacob Ibrahim has no clue what the hell he is talking about and that he is an old man who barely knows how to use the internet. If I may quote my dear reader Yoda who wrote, "I dream of the day I become a senior executive of a huge, international media outlet like the BBC, so that when I get a letter from the MDA or Yacoob, I can reply:

"Dear Sir/Mdm/Whom it may concern,
I think you suck, and there isn't really much you can do about it. Post it on stomp perhaps? I don't care. #bringiton #hashtaggingthepap #betyoudidntevenknowwhathashtaggingwas
- Senior Emeritus Jedi Yoda, Director without portfolio"

This begs the question - surely there are brighter, more intelligent people at the MDA who do must be good with social media and understand how news is reported in this day and age. Have a look at the senior management at MDA here - surely some if not all of these people must know what they are doing to have gotten where they are today. Didn't any of them sit down with Yaacob to try to give him some friendly advice about what he can realistically achieve when it comes to trying to influence or censor international news networks like the BBC? Or is it simply a case of The Emperor's New Clothes, where no one has the balls to tell the Emperor that he is walking down the street totally naked?

I believe it is the latter - I have enough faith in the statutory boards of Singapore to actually find decent staff given that their pockets are deep enough to attract the brightest brains in Singapore to work there. Indeed, I remember the many scholarships offered to bright A level students - I did consider applying to some of these scholarships myself back in the day given how attractive their terms were. However, it is shockingly counterproductive to get all the best brains in Singapore through these scholarship schemes, only to let them be overruled by a PAP minister who doesn't have a vaguest clue about media. Even if the senior management at the MDA are pro-PAP and support tighter censorship, they could have at least proof read some of Yaacob's notes (before he made the gaffe about the NZ Law Commission Report) before he made a fool of himself in front of the journalists. Oh the irony.

So there you go. It is a pretty sad reflection on the state of the government of Singapore. You do have people in the statutory boards who are clearly intelligent and know what they are doing, clearly someone at the URA read my piece, got past the fact that I wrote the words 'Fuck the PAP' in the piece and still thought, this is actually a really well written piece of anthropological research and put it on their website. (Well it would've been nice if they had asked my permission or at least informed me, but I digress.) Yet this whole MDA fiasco has shown that the government are clearly not uses the human resources (ie. intelligent people) who are clearly employed by them in their various departments.

Perhaps the answer is revealed in this article from TRS: it shows a list of SAF Generals who are now ruling Singapore - so what is the point of training up scholars to work in your statutory boards when all you're going to do is to get some military general with no relevant experience to run the show at the end of the day? It makes no sense whatsoever, but that's the Singaporean system for you. It is counterproductive at best, if not downright dumb.

I don't even want to begin to try to explain how we ended up with such a warped system in Singapore. Short of getting rid of the PAP altogether and starting with a clean slate, I don't have a better solution. Do you? What do you think? Let me know what you think - please do leave a comment below, thanks for reading.

Can one learn English without reading?

2013-06-09T01:36:00.001+01:00

Hi readers, may I pick your brains please? I know I can count on your guys. In one of my earlier posts, I wrote about my nephew struggling with English and I found it quite puzzling since my sisters and I have no problems whatsoever with English and I had simply assumed that the next generation would simply grow up speaking English as a first language. That is not the case with my nephew I'm afraid, so I asked my sister today what she thought the problem is and she pointed to what she thought was the cause of the problem: reading.

How important is reading for a child's development?

My nephew hates reading - perhaps it's a stereotype, but it seems boys are more likely to be active, to want to run around and play rather than sit down and read books. You see, my sisters and I grew up in a very Singlish/Mandarin speaking environment where nobody was really capable of speaking standard English - yet our mother insisted on us reading story books to improve our English. My two older sisters did as they were told and read many books - they started out with Enid Blyton and then went on to Agatha Christie and a range of different authors. They would often recommend books for me to read and I was very fortunate that my two sisters took the time to learn what kind of books would appeal to me. They took the time and trouble to source the right books for me so I would enjoy reading too. I did read, not as much as them, but enough to have a positive impact on my command of the English language. I owe a lot to my two older sisters by that token.

You see, despite the fact that we were in a very Singlish speaking environment where nobody spoke standard English, we grew accustomed to reading English written formally and properly in the books we read. For my nephew who hates reading, he writes the way he speaks - in Singlish and thus that is why he doesn't have a decent command of the basic rules of grammar because he doesn't read. It is evident that his teacher at school hasn't done enough to drill the rules of English grammar into his head - but then again, my teachers never did either, it was just something I picked up along the way (and reading helped, I supposed).

My mother realizes this and she is trying so hard to get my nephew to read but to no avail. She takes out the story book and reads it to him but you can see he is trying to run away, he is looking for escape. She has forced him to read with her and she would read one page, he would read the next - but it is not a process he enjoys. I am wondering if any of you teachers or parents might have any suggestions if you have students or children who are learning English as well? Do you insist that your children/students read?

I am trying to think of an alternative way for him to be exposed to formal grammatically correct standard English - if he doesn't pick up English grammar one way or another, then he is quite simply going to fail his PSLE English at this rate as he writes in Singlish, not English. Would watching TV help? Or is watching TV too passive a form of entertainment that your brain doesn't really engage when you're watching a programme? Surely a movie like 'Finding Nemo' would be great - it is engaging and entertaining but most of all, it would expose him to 100 minutes of standard English. Is that enough to undo the damage caused by years of speaking Singlish? Or are there Singaporean kids who watch loads of movies like Finding Nemo, Madagascar and Shrek but still end up speaking English very poorly?

Are there perhaps interactive computer games which will expose him to standard English - are there any interactive programmes that can be used to help improve his English? Or would a more immersive experience like that at Morris Allen tuition centre be the only remedy? I honestly don't know - that is why I am asking you for help. All my mother had to do was to make sure my sisters and I read enough books and everything just fell into place. Not only did I go on to get nothing but straight As in English, but I went on to become fluent in a few other languages like French, Spanish and Welsh. So we're kinda at a loss with a kid who is just not picking up the English language.

I did speak to someone today who is British and really hated reading as a child because he is dyslexic - reading was a chore, a pain and something he avoided as much as he could as a child. He told me how he would pretend to be sick just to avoid having to read something at school. Yet today, his English as flawless as a native speaker and he explained, "As a child, everyone around me was speaking standard English. My parents are well educated university professors and they sent me to a good school where everyone spoke standard English. Your nephew is surrounded by people speaking Singlish, not standard English - so short of sending him to England for a few years, to take him out of that Singlish speaking environment, I don't know what else to suggest if he is not picking up English well enough to pass his exams through his daily conversations. Don't blame your nephew, the poor kid - I know what it is like to be in his shoes to hate reading. Rather, blame those around him for not helping him enough."

Are students who don't read at a disadvantage?

Mind you, my dad's saying exactly the same thing about his command of Mandarin - my nephew isn't reading in Chinese either, so his knowledge of Chinese characters is limited to what is covered in the syllabus and he is not picking up new words from reading storybooks or newspapers. Groan. On one hand, if the kid doesn't wanna read, there's a part of me that says, "please leave him alone, don't force him lah, don't stress him out about it" - but on the other hand, if we're staring at the possibility of him failing his PSLE exams, I don't think we're in a position to be all that relaxed about him not reading. I am terribly conflicted on the issue, as is my family.

Guys, I'm at a loss. My sister is happy to try anything that works, but my parents are very cynical about Morris Allen. I have a feeling that's just because my parents are taking it very personally when I suggest that my mother is probably not the best person to teach my nephew, but then again, what have we got to lose by trying something different? So please my readers, over to you: have you any suggestions? How do we get over this reading issue? How do you deal with a child who just hates reading? Thanks for reading and I await your suggestions. Kum siah.

Limpeh on the series of letters between Singaporeans and expatriates

2013-06-08T02:34:00.001+01:00

Okay there has been a series of letters between Singaporeans and an expatriate on TRS and I want to offer my unique perspective as the guy who spent the first half of my life as Ah Beng from Ang Mo Kio and the second half of my life in Europe. Thus I can see both sides of the equation, understanding the both the frustration of the Singaporeans with the influx of the foreigners in their country and also the indignation of the expatriates who are faced with racist and xenophobic Singaporeans. Let's start with the first letter from Junjie in Serangoon North.

Junjie, stop being such a whiny pathetic wimp. You're clearly not an Ah Beng like Limpeh. In Ang Mo Kio where I grew up, it doesn't matter if you're Chinese, Malay, Angmoh or Indian, if you behaved in a rude manner towards us Ang Mo Kio Ah Bengs, we would give you an earful in Hokkien, Mandarin and Singlish on the spot. It was just a couple of kids Junjie, get real. If you were really that pissed off with their behaviour, then speak up like a man and tell them off. Are you afraid of a bunch of kids? For fuck's sake, are you a man or a mouse? Have you got a set of balls you loser?

Spotted any French people here recently?

If I was in your position, I would have two choices - I could either dismiss them as being silly kids and ignore them or I could stand up, raise my voice and told them off. There isn't a third option of fuming silently and suffering in silence and then being a whiny bitch online - for crying out aloud, what good would whining online achieve? All you will get is a bunch of other racist and xenophobic Singaporeans agree with you and post some equally dumbass racist and xenophobic comments - but would that make you feel better? I doubt it - you had the chance to deal with those rude kids there and then, but no, you didn't. That's your fault and I hope you will learn from this mistake - next time, grow a pair of balls and find your voice.

Singapore is one of the world's most vibrant, exciting and cosmopolitan cities with 5.3 million people - it is not some small isolated kampong in the middle of rural Johor where the local kopitiam will remain unchanged for decades and you will never meet foreigners or expatriates who will come into your local hangouts. Such is the nature of living in Singapore, what were you expecting? Maybe you're not that well traveled and not used to meeting people from other cultures or countries - but it's really no big deal to meet people from other cultures. You don't have to like them but then again, why do you act as if your little world should be protected from change? Open your eyes Junjie - it's a big, fascinating world out there on planet earth, you should venture out more. Go travelling, leave Serangoon North and get out of your comfort zone. You may actually like it.

There is a world outside Serangoon North you know...

I have lived in France as a student and have worked for a French company. I am fluent in French of course and have made a genuine effort to assimilate when I lived in France. A mon avis, the French are hospitable and friendly, they welcomed me with opened arms as the guy from Singapore who has made an effort to master their language. I am appalled at the racist way Singaporeans just assume so many horrible things about the French people - many such Singaporeans have never ever met a real French person before, but have only gleamed second-hand hearsay from people like Junjie, they form their impression of the French based on selective pieces of evidence that only serve to reinforce long-held racist views about the French. Are there rude people in France? Sure there are, but they are no more rude than the Singaporeans who are certainly not polite, hell no.

Singaporeans can be shockingly rude - but never mind that, they can scarily xenophobic and racist towards anyone from white expats to the Bangladeshis to the Filipinos to the Indians. Chinese Singaporeans are the worst offenders of the lot and are ironically blissfully aware of just how racist they can be towards foreigners and somehow, that doesn't make them rude as long as they are reasonably nice to their fellow Chinese Singaporeans? Oh the irony. You can't be xenophobic and claim to be polite at the same time - hell no. You can't have your cake and eat it (I prefer the French version of that phrase which translates to 'you can't have butter and the money for the butter'.)

And Junjie, if you're not happy with the 'invasion of the Caucasians' who do you think opened the floodgates in the first place? If you're seiously buay song, then blame the PAP, they let in all these FTs in the first place. Blame them. Don't become xenophobic and racist - because firstly, that's morally wrong and secondly, you're treating these French kids as the scapegoats of a much bigger problem caused by the PAP. You are being very shortsighted by looking at the symptom of the problem rather than the cause of the problem: the fucking PAP. Open your eyes and see the big picture Junjie - who should you ultimately blame for this situation?

Now I move on to the letter written by Brit In Singapore. What can I say, I am appalled and ashamed by the fact that she has encountered so many xenophobic and racist rants by idiotic Singaporeans who are blaming the foreigners rather than the PAP for the problem. When will these stupid Singaporeans finally wake the fuck up and realize that the PAP are to be blamed for all these problems? Seriously, sometimes I can only smirk and say, "well these Singaporeans got exactly what they voted for, what are they complaining about?" Duh. If you didn't want the influx of foreigners, then why the fuck did 60.14% of you vote for the PAP? I thought at least 60.14% of you loved the idea of being this cosmopolitan, international city full of foreigners, as per the PAP's grand design. Double duh.

I also agree with this Brit that it is ridiculous to single out white people as rude - when really, the rudest people in Singapore are undoubtedly the PRCs. But then again, having worked in China with a large number of PRCs, I have also found that to be a rather unfair assumption because even in China, there are a range of people - some extremely pleasant and polite, some downright rude and everything in between. By that token, that makes China no different from France, America, Singapore or any other country. Anyone who assumes that Singaporeans are polite haven't seen the worst of Singaporeans in the army - come on you Singaporean men, I ask you to cast your mind back to your NS days and tell me how polite the people were then.

There is one thing I would like to point out to this Brit in Singapore though - expatriates in Singapore tend to assimilate very poorly. I am sure there are exceptions, but how many white expatriates in Singapore actually make any attempt to learn conversational Mandarin or Malay? Oh I know most Singaporeans speak English reasonably well, but assimilating means a lot more than going to a hawker centre and knowing the difference between char kway teow and fried hokkien mee. It doesn't mean going native and trying to be Singaporean but the litmus test is to develop a very keen understanding of local cultures and language to the point where you can easily blend in - not as guests dependent on the hospitality of the locals, but someone the locals wouldn't hesitate to embrace as one of their own. Check out this American dude Tyler - talk about assimilating eh?

Any kind of integration is pretty much a two way process, once you show an active effort to assimilate (for example, by speaking Mandarin when ordering your food at a hawker centre), then the local is more than likely to reciprocate with friendliness to reward you for that effort. The harder you try, the more friendly the locals will be. The French kids were singled out because they were probably in a group of their own, with this siege mentality - us vs them (or should I say nous contre eux) and that was why they were sending out all the wrong vibes. I see the same thing happen in the UK as well where so many Singaporean/ Malaysian/ Chinese foreign students stick in their little Asian cliques and barely make any white friends through their time at university - it's wrong in both cases.

I have recently talked about the time I worked in Turkey and I speak some Turkish (it's extremely rusty now, since I have no one to practice it with in London), but I always, always spoke Turkish when I was in Turkey - it was only when I got really desperate and I would apologize for being a foreigner who has yet to master Turkish and ask to speak Ingilizce instead. The locals loved the fact that I was so obviously a foreigner but was trying so hard to learn and speak their language rather than defaulting to English (which many younger, well educated Turks do speak very well). How many British expats in Singapore have made any effort to speak Chinese or Malay in Singapore? I think the expatriate community in Singapore can try a lot harder. I have learnt languages as diverse as Arabic, Russian, Turkish, Czech, Slovakian, Dutch, Greek and German to help me integrate and assimilate when working abroad - I never became truly fluent in any of these languages but was always handsomely rewarded for trying very hard.

Limpeh in Istanbul.

Now let's move on to the next article by A Simple Singaporean. Let's deal with the incident in London when you were standing on the wrong side of the escalator. I would tell you off if you were standing on the wrong side. There are clear signs around those escalators informing passengers to stand to the right to allow those who are in a hurry to walk on the left. Granted if you were a tourist, you may not have noticed or read all the signs along the way - but still, I would always tell someone who was clearly a visitor unfamiliar with the local culture to stand to the right. I wouldn't go as far as to 'scold' them, but I would be firm and I would not go into a long speech. I'd probably just say, "stand to the right, you're blocking the way for others." I would of course point out the signs to them - so it's not some unwritten code only known to the locals, the signs are everywhere. (See the photo below.)

That's just me, unlike Junjie, I actually know how to speak up and deal with a situation there and then and hopefully get it resolved. Perhaps that's a British thing, to be bold enough to speak up rather than suffer in silence like Junjie (who is intimidated by a bunch of kids? LMFAO.) It's a different culture - we deal with the situation on the spot, get it over and done with, then move on. I do take serious issue with the way she suggested, "As a Foreigner in this foreign land, I am sorry on behalf of their misbehaviour attitudes ... and cautioning other Foreigners to behave appropriately with much consideration etc. to the locals" ?

OMFG. WTF. Seriously, what the fuck? Listen, this British expatriate who wrote the letter is only accountable for her own actions, she isn't responsible for the actions of that bunch of French students or any of the other foreigners in Singapore. I am currently living in London and I see so many PRCs in London behaving so badly in public. Yes I feel ashamed when I see Chinese people behaving like that because I am ultimately Singaporean-Chinese (a few generations removed from China via Malaysia and Singapore but still Chinese nonetheless, well mostly anyway). But why should I feel the need to apologize on their behalf?

Should we ever apologize 'on behalf' of someone else we don't even know?

Now put yourselves in my shoes for a moment, imagine you're on a train in England and a bunch of PRC students are loud, obnoxious and cause such a nuisance. When they finally get off the train, a white person turns to you and say to you, "hey you, yes you there. Miss, as a foreigner in my country, you should apologize on behalf of their misbehaviour and attitude. You should have cautioned them to behave appropriate with much more consideration to the others on the train. Why didn't you do anything? You're Chinese like them, aren't you?"

I bet you would turn to this white person and say, "Huh? I don't even know that group of Chinese students! Why are you picking on me just because I am Chinese? I have never seen them before I got on this train, how can you hold me responsible for their behaviour? And even if I did apologize to you for what they did, why would that apology mean anything when it wasn't me who disturbed you? It was them, not me! Why are you treating me like a scapegoat just because some other Chinese people behaved badly? Why are you picking on me?"

What is sauce for the goose...

So why are you asking this British expatriate to apologize on behalf of those French kids? Get real, even if you bullied her into apologizing, that apology is meaningless as she wasn't part of that group of French kids who behaved in a rude manner. If you really want an apology, then go contact the principal at the French school in Serangoon North. Limpeh has found their address and contact details just for you:

Lycée Français de Singapour © - 3000 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3, Singapore 569928
Tel : (65) 6488 1160 - Fax : (65) 6487 2821 - Email : administration@lfs.edu.sg
Principal: Patrick Sucur
Deputy Principal: Cyril Oucham
CEO: Sophie Jancourt

Get in touch with the school and make a formal complaint about the behaviour of their students if you are really that buay song with those French students. Go on, I have just given you all the details of the right people to complain to if you have the balls to make a complaint - why are you picking on some random British expatriate and demanding an apology from someone who wasn't even involved in the incident that happened in Serangoon North? Be reasonable!

Get in touch with LFS and tell them how you feel, go on.

This British expatriate has the right to get defensive the same way Junjie has the right to speak up, everyone has the right to speak up and express themselves. I am speaking up the same way you spoke up - let's all speak up and have a conversation. What truly pisses me off is the way Singaporeans think that foreign expatriates have no right to say anything or to respond to a letter like the one Junjie has written - WTF? Anyone and everyone has the right to speak up in the name of free speech - if they are unreasonable or misleading, then others will respond and attack them for having the audacity to write something so stupid and putting it out there in blogosphere.

Yes a guest should be humble and make an effort to assimilate, I have said that and I have always done that in the many countries where I have worked. But the locals also have got to allow them to speak up and express themselves - it is unreasonable and ludicrous to expect the expatriates just sit back and let the locals insult them like that. You should be grateful that this British expatriate has made an effort to reach out to Singaporeans by offering her point of view - I can imagine many expatriates who would simply read something like that, shrug their shoulders and ignore it. At least this expatriate has made an effort to reach out to you guys and you respond like that? That's a very immature and childish respond but having had a look at the way Singaporeans behave on forums like EDMW and AsiaOne, I have seen far worse responses - at least this wasn't downright racist. It sounds like A Simple Singaporean was asking this expatriate to 'shut up and sit down' rather than trying to engage her. Hmmm, does that sound familiar?

I am posting this on the 8th June - the day of #FreeMyInternet. Today should be all about the freedom of speech, the freedom of us to claim cyberspace as our own and not a place where we should be told where to 'read the right thing'. This whole letters episode just leaves me deeply disappointed in Singaporeans not just because they are xenophobic and racist - but because they just don't freaking get it. No where in any of these letters were the words PAP mentioned - who do you think opened the doors to let in all these FTs in the first place? Why are you unable to see the big picture and realize what the root cause of the problems are? The problem is not with the foreigners in Singapore - they are but a symptom of the problem. The problem lies with the PAP and the 60.14% of Singaporean voters who voted for the PAP. So the enemy is not foreign, but they are as local as they come. It is time you Singaporeans woke up and stopped using foreigners as scapegoats. Look at the big picture people, open your eyes.

Do let me know how the #FreeMyInternet event goes, leave a message below if you have been there. You may like what I say, you may disagree with me, you may even hate me - but my door is always open for engagement and feel free to speak to me and let me know what you think. Cheers and thanks for reading everyone!

Being a blogger vs being a politician

2013-06-07T00:33:00.000+01:00

Now this is a topic that has cropped up quite a number of times from my readers (most recently here and before that here) - some of them have asked me why I haven't become involved in Singaporean politics since I take a keen interest in it on my blog, particularly in trying to bring political change to a system that I dislike immensely. This has usually led to a few interesting replies to the comments in some articles, but now I'd like to bring some of those thoughts together and present it in a blog post to deal with this topic.

Could I pass for a politician? Or am I too showbiz?

(Yeah thought I'd show you a picture of me in a suit for a change after all those diving videos of me in my swimming trunks.) I have never had any interest in being a politician - this started way back in secondary school when we were introduced to the concept of democracy. Prefects were democratically elected from a short list of candidates that were approved by the teachers. I remember how one guy whom I had never really spoken before coming to talk to me prior to the prefects' elections - clearly, he was after my vote but I was cynical. You have never spoken to me before, you are not my friend, so why should I vote for you? It was a painful moment as I could sense how awkward it must have been as well. I would never ever want to be in his shoes - to have to beg to be liked by a complete stranger.

No, I have no intention to be involved in politics as a politician. I am however very interested in politics, that is why I blog about it a lot. In a democracy, politicians need to appeal to as many voters as possible in order to secure a victory at an election and this means that most politicians usually have to maintain a squeaky clean lifestyle, be seen as a responsible member of society and not have any skeletons in the closet. That's so not me. I want to be able to go out, do what the hell I like, shag whom the hell I want, say whatever I want on the internet, get naked on stage if I want to, offend whomever I want - that's the kind of freedom I value and it is simply not compatible with the demands of a politician running for public office. No thanks, I value not just my privacy but the freedom to do what the hell I like with my sex life and social life and not give a damn what others may think. Politicians don't have that luxury.

People who put themselves out there, trying to be popular do make a huge sacrifice in terms of what they are allowed to do. Let's take the example of K-pop superstar Psy, last year at the peak of his fame when Gangnam Style was such a huge global phenomena, Psy was forced to make a humble apology for having once sang a song with anti-American lyrics back in 2004. The song in question was 'Dear America' by Korean metal band N.Ex.T and Psy was a guest rapper on the track. Why did he make an apology 8 years later? Did he have a sudden change of heart about America? No, it was because until Gangnam Style, he was a complete unknown in America and nobody really cared what he had to say about American foreign policy or what America did in Iraq. He was free to speak his mind (or in Psy's case, rap his mind) on the issue - then suddenly, as he became popular in America, people start scrutinizing over ever last detail of what he has said and done in his life and attacking him for things that he has done 8 years ago?

I found this episode rather distasteful as Psy buckled under pressure and offered a grovelling apology. Why? Because he cared about his popularity and commercial interests in America as the first K-pop star to go mainstream in America. I would've loved for him to have said, "I meant what I said at the time, I don't agree with US foreign policy. My music may not be to everyone's taste but that was the way I had chosen to express myself at the time in reaction to events that were happening in 2004. You don't have to agree with what I say and my music is a political statement, I can express myself the same way anyone can express themselves." Nah, I wish he'd said that - but he didn't.

I think about the number of provocative things I have said and done over the years in the media, on the internet, on my blog and in person and I would hate to be in a position where I would have to be forced to apologize for something I did 8 years ago the way Psy did. If you choose to do something, then stand by your decision to have done it and don't back down. If you have done something wrong and really want to say sorry, then that apology has got to be a genuine expression of remorse, not something you're coerced into by people you're trying to be popular with, such as in the case of Psy and this apology over that 2004 song 'Dear America'.

Think about it. If that obscure song from 2004 (which was almost entirely in the Korean language, wasn't even a big hit in Korea, nobody heard it in America) hadn't been dragged up by CNN's iReport team, would Psy have apologized for it? He only apologized because he was exposed to have done something that would have damaged his popularity and public image, rather than because he was genuinely sorry. The whole episode revealed the price of fame - Psy no longer could do what he wanted if he wanted to be popular.

The thought of my actions being held to ransom by public opinion - now that's scary. That's a form of censorship that I never wanna subject myself to. I do care what my close friends and family think about me but why should I care what strangers think about what I want to say or do? Do you wish to let strangers whom you have never met dictate what you can say or are allowed to do? No way, I hear you say - but that is exactly what politicians subject themselves to. They are afraid of alienating or offending voters if they speak their minds and have to be so careful what they say or do.

I cast my mind back to one of my first encounter with elections - that was back in secondary school. There was an election in 1990 to be the lower secondary captain of the gymnastics club and I was told that I should put myself up as a candidate. I wasn't sure I wanted to do that - I knew what I wanted, I wanted to be the best gymnast on the team, but to be the captain? That meant having to be nice to everyone in order to get as many votes as possible. Fuck that. I wasn't prepared to be that nice. I wasn't interested in the popularity contest, I wanted to be the best gymnast on the team. The same thing happened in 1992 - I didn't even turn up for the elections for the gymnastics club and was the only team member without a post on the committee and no, it didn't bother me at all.

I applied the same argument when I decided against running to be a school prefect in secondary school and then as a councillor in JC. "You mean I'd have to follow all the school rules? And set an example for the others? And I'd have to be nice to everyone? And no more swearing? Fuck that. No thanks." That's just the kind of person I am - I have a small group of very good friends whom I am very close to, but I never bothered trying to be popular at school or university. I never saw the point - friends should always be measured in quality, not quantity.

Having this attitude doesn't mean that I am not interested in politics though - I am thoroughly fascinated by politics, that is why I talk about it so enthusiastically on my blog. Democracy is a process where everyone can take part: private citizens like myself can have our say, participate in the process and influence those who are supposed to be representing us in government. You do not have to be an MP in order to participate in this political discourse - as a blogger with a strong Singaporean readership (about 55% of my readers are from Singapore), my blog is a platform for me to encourage my readers to think about the issues that affect them, to form opinions about how they feel and I always encourage them to talk about it: with me, with their friends, with their government.

Likewise, it is a complete fallacy to think that once you become an MP, you can be some kind of revolutionary and start changing the political landscape. No, it does not work like that! MPs are there to represent the wishes of the citizens, MPs are not there to do what the hell they like. If you're a member of a political party, you're often constrained by what your party's policies are on the issue you are passionate about and you can't just do as you please. Even as an independent MP, you can only vote in parliament on certain laws which will require a majority to pass. If you want instant change, you need someone who will stage a military coup, dismiss the entire parliament and impose martial law where the dictator can make sweeping changes at the drop of a hat.

I remember how former NMP Siew Kum Hong tried so very hard during his one term as an NMP to try to get the government to change, but alas, the poor guy was like banging his bald head against the PAP brick wall. The guy was clearly a visionary who had the right ideas of how Singapore could be a more progressive, open society but what real change was he able to make within the context the existing system? Practically none, which was frustratin for both him and me - if only he could have his way, but he was but one MP amongst many. Sigh.

Former NMP Siew Kum Hong

I know where my strengths lie - I write well, I wouldn't be attracting this many readers otherwise if my writing skills weren't good. I am putting my writing skills to good use here in trying to get people who may be politically apathetic to read about issues that may affect them using a combination of humour and good presentation. I have adopted a 'magazine' style approach to my blogging - I break my articles down with plenty of photos and videos to keep the pieces entertaining. Most of all, I enjoy writing immensely and if there are so many people out there who want to read what I have to say, I couldn't be more pleased. I love my readers so much, thank you LIFTers.

I probably could work in politics - I do have enough transferable skills such as marketing, PR and writing to work for politicians. The PAP or WP certainly could use someone with my kind of skills to fight fires each time they have a disaster on their hands - I could easily put a positive spin on any bad situation with the magic of PR and write the kind of statements that would appease the public because I'd know what they want to hear. In the UK, they call such politics PR gurus "spin doctors" and they make a lot of money. You rarely hear about them - but they are working hard behind the scenes everyday to manipulate the news. But no, instead, I am using those skills in the financial services industry where I am being paid handsomely by my employers to promote their services (a hedge funds consultancy).

I am working in marketing & PR for a hedge funds consultancy.

That's what I am good at - I understand the sales & marketing process very well. I can package up your shit in a way that will enable me to sell it back to you as the finest organic fertiliser and you will think you're getting a good price from me. I can package up the sleaziest politician or CEO and make him look like a hero to be admired to the public. What I cannot and will not do, however, is to subject myself to the same kind of bullshit and sell myself to the public as a politician. Fuck that. No way. Even I have morals and that crosses the line. Why? Because I actually enjoy being honest with people. If I don't like someone, I won't be nice to them and they will at least know how I feel and react accordingly. If I despise someone, oh you can be sure I will inform them of it. That is a luxury a politician has to give up unfortunately, so no, I won't do it and I can't do it - it's just not a price worth paying, not for me at least.

Besides, in the case of Singapore, I am not totally convinced that Singapore is ripe for revolution yet as recent events have proven. Even under provocation, a disappointingly small number of Singaporeans reacted whilst the rest go shopping and remain politically apathetic. There needs to be a big enough proportion of people who want change in order for change to happen - if only a minority of people are willing to fight for change, then sorry you're in the minority and that's not how it works in a democracy. Evidently, the last election showed that Singapore is not ready for a revolution yet as 60.14% voted for the PAP. Good luck to those in the opposition who are fighting an uphill battle in this environment. We need to engage the 60.14% and bring them over from the dark side.

Nonetheless, I do enjoy the role I play being a social commentator. I am merely reacting to what I have observed in the news and in the absence of a free press in Singapore, bloggers like myself are filling a demand from Singaporeans who want to read a different kind of news that local journalists would never get past their editors. The fact that I have so many readers is exciting and I don't have an editor to please - so I can write what the hell I want in whichever manner I want, even if it means being extremely rude and vulgar when I am in an extremely bad mood or talking about issues like porn stars and sexuality. I suppose I do like being quite controversial and that suits me fine! There are enough boring blogs out there written by depressingly boring bloggers who are so afraid of offending people - I'm not one of them. I'd rather be brutally honest and piss off some people along the way, that's the way I have always blogged and after 3.7 million views, well I must be doing something right with the way I write!

So there you go - this is why I will never be a politician, I hope that answers your question. And please, there are many ways to bring positive changes to your society - it isn't just politicians who have the power to make those vital improvements to your society, many others can play their part and make a difference too. What do you think? Do you have political ambitions? Do you like the idea of being popularly elected in an election? Would you vote for a man as blunt and honest as me? Just imagine my MP's surgery, "stop feeling sorry for yourself you fucking loser. Stop blaming others for your mistakes, you fucked up your life, don't expect me to pick up the pieces for you - I'm your MP, not your fucking fairy godmother. Now get the fuck out of my office as I have other people to see. Fuck off, thank you."

Do leave a comment please and let me know what you think. Thank you very much for reading.

Sorry but I am not turning my blog off today

2013-06-06T00:27:00.000+01:00

I feel the need to start this piece with a disclaimer: I hate the fucking PAP. Fuck the PAP. There, now that we've established that, I feel I can proceed with the point I am going to make.

Many blogs in Singapore (and indeed outside Singapore) have gone black for 24 hours in protest against the MDA's Broadcast Act and to promote the #Freemyinternet protest at Hong Lim Park this Saturday. I admit, I did feel very tempted to black out my blog as well as it got to 5 pm in London (we're 7 hours behind Singapore in summer time) but then I read this comment on Facebook which made me think twice.

Can the blog blackout actually achieve anything?

The netizen commented that whilst the intent of the blackout is admirable, it is only really disruptive to those people who are looking for alternative news sources which are not blatantly pro-PAP. It is ironically beneficial to the PAP (and their cronies) who would rather bloggers like me who are anti-PAP just shut the hell up - even if it for one day. Woah. At that point I thought, this netizen has a point. At least for the next 24 hours, the PAP has free reign over the media because bloggers have silenced themselves in protest - giving the PAP exactly what they want.

I am divided here. Whilst I do see the irony in the bloggers silencing themselves in protest, they are drawing attention to the event happening in Hong Lim Park on the 8th June #FreeMyInternet which will hopefully attract a large number of Singaporeans who will stand united against the PAP. So if this blackout can raise the profile of the event, then great - I hope it is really well attended this Saturday. However, I am also watching the events happening in Turkey very closely and can't help but make a comparison between the situation in Singapore and that in Turkey.

I have a special place in my heart for Turkey having lived and worked there - albeit for a short time, but still I totally fell in love with Istanbul when I was working there. I learnt Turkish when I was there and whilst I wasn't fluent, I was still able to make basic conversation even with those who didn't speak a word of English. They were all very curious of course, as to why this Chinese-looking guy could speak some Turkish - don't forget, ethnic minorities are very rare in Turkey despite Istanbul being quite a cosmopolitan big city. You don't really see black or Chinese looking people there walking down the streets - so naturally I stood out as the guy from Singapore.

I know the center of Istanbul really well - the old Town on Sultanahmet, the main shopping areas in Beyoğlu and of course, Taksim Square and Gezi Park. It was shocking for me to see these familiar areas transformed into a war zone as the anti-government riots clashed with the police. I remember seeing a photo of the riot police gathered in front a shop where I used to buy fresh pomegranate juice, I wondered if the little old Turkish lady who sold juice was hiding in her shop, her eyes stinging from the tear gas. I am following what my Turkish friends have been saying on Facebook and Twitter all day and it is harrowing to see what they are reporting.

Limpeh having a coffee in Istanbul

The Turkish media have imposed a black out on reporting the riots - they are pretending everything in normal in Turkey. Instead of reporting on the massive anti-government riots which have spread across the country, they are showing nature documentaries about animals, cooking programmes and beauty pageants on TV. This is why Turks have turned to social media to report on what is happening in Turkey and it is truly inspiring to see how brave and well organized the Turks have been. They are an inspiration to many.

Let's look at the protest that started this entire episode - it was the plans to turn Gezi Park in central Istanbul into a mall. Environmentalists protested because Gezi Park is one of the few green spaces left in a very congested central Istanbul so they occupied the park in protest, #occupygezi to prevent the bulldozers from coming in to dig up their beloved park. Now let's compare that to the Singaporean situation, the MDA wants to move into our cyberspace and ensure that the citizens 'read the right thing' - so in protest, what do we do? A 24 hour self-imposed blackout by bloggers? Isn't that the equivalent of the environmentalists effectively boycotting Gezi Park for 24 hours in protest of the redevelopment of the park? Am I the only one who did a double take then?

I have fond memories of Istanbul.

Think about this please people, #occupygezi had the right idea - the Turkish government wanted to take away a space from the people, they occupied the space and laid their claim to it. What I would like to see is a mass protest by Singaporean netizens occupying and claiming their cyberspace, #occupysgcyberspace or something like that. This would mean bloggers and netizens showing the government their displeasure by rightfully voicing their opinions online - such as going to the Facebook pages of the PAP and all the PAP MPs and ministers, writing to them there and telling them how wrong MDA's broadcast act is. Let's make our presence felt online!

I'm not suggesting anything illegal like hacking, but I would love to see more Singaporeans take the fight to the MDA and the PAP over this issue, the same way the Turkish have stood up to their government this week. Turkish protesters raised US$55,000 for a full page ad in the New York Times to bring their cause to a global audience, highlighting their plight and the situation in Turkey. I would love to see Singaporeans do the same thing to try a similar move to try to raise the profile of their campaign to an international audience, to reclaim our right to express ourselves in cyberspace and for journalists to criticize the PAP when they want to. There is just so much Singaporeans activists can learn from what is happening in Turkey right now.

There needs to be an active decision to reclaim and occupy this space that the MDA is trying to lay claim to - and I'm sorry, but blacking out your blog for 24 hours does not reclaim this contested cyberspace at all. You need to take the fight to the PAP and show them that you're not going to just quietly go away after you've made an eloquent but effectively useless gesture of protest. What is the point of such a gesture then? Let me give you an example of one such elegant yet useless gesture of protest in Turkey.

Many older women who are too afraid to go into the streets to protest (the police are using tear gas, rubber bullets and water cannons - it is like a war zone) have taken to standing by their windows and banging pots and pans together, making a lot of noise. Some others have also taken to switching their lights on and off many times at night, creating quite a sight when many such women are doing exactly the same thing across the city at night. When I first saw the video below, I thought, okay at least they're doing something - eloquent, memorable if not useless.

My Turkish friend Orcun told me, "I'm not convinced that this kind of thing helps - this is not the first time we have had anti-government protests in Turkey, but what the government usually does is that they allow the people to protest, make their point in an eloquent but useless gesture that doesn't change anything in the long run. The protesters feel like they've made their point, the government allows them to let off some steam for a few days and then things go back to exactly how they were before. This is why the people are out in the streets of Turkey now. They want real change, they don't want some conciliatory gesture from the government to say, 'oh you can have Gezi Park, we have listened to you and you have saved the trees in Gezi Park'- this protest is about so much more than Gezi Park now. Gezi Park was the last straw the broke the camel's back - the people have been so angry with the government for so long already. I will be very disappointed if nothing comes out of this after all we have done. I might just leave Turkey for good."

I did ask another Singaporean blogger this evening what he felt about this blog blackout protest - he is not blacking out his blog either. "What is the point? We should be protesting about this ridiculous move by the MDA on our blogs, condemning the government for it. But silencing ourselves in protest over censorship? That's like a vegetarian protesting about the eating of meat by slaughtering a cow. Okay, it is a simple, eloquent and low-risk gesture on the part of these Singaporeans. If you were to go protest in front of the MDA, the way the Turks are in Taksim Square and Gezi Park, you will risk getting arrested and thrown in jail. But if you were to blackout your blog for 24 hours, few people would even notice. It is a small token of a gesture by some kiasi Singaporeans who are still inherently very afraid of the government they hate. They want to feel like they have done something and made a statement - and they are willing to ignore the fact that it is ultimately a futile gesture."

What will happen at the end of this week - after the blackout on Thursday and the Hong Lim Park event on Saturday? Would there be any real change in the government or would it be (as the cynics suspect) no more than a number of beautiful orchestrated eloquent yet ultimately useless gestures on the part of those who oppose the MDA's censorship? Will the government actually pay any heed to what will happen at Hong Lim Park?

I would like to see something bigger and more effective come out of this episode, such as a campaign to reach out to those on the dark side, yes I am talking about the 60.14% who voted for the PAP in 2011. It is something very constructive we could all do, even if we all just started engaging with one person who voted for the PAP and try to engage them in a discussion about what kind of society we want in Singapore. That could be one more vote for change, one less vote for the PAP - it is a small baby step, but one in the right direction. Such a campaign would achieve far more than this blog blackout protest.

You can do something constructive today - talk to someone who voted for the PAP.

This is exactly what they are doing in Turkey right now - it is a very divided society. You have the well educated liberals who live in the big cities and then you have the poorer, more traditional and religious folk who live in the countryside and those in the countryside are far less demanding of their government than those in the big cities. This is why the unrest has started in Istanbul, the richest and most cosmopolitan city in Turkey. Younger, well-educated, English speaking Turks are far more aware of what is happening in other democratic countries in the West and are far less tolerant of their government's mistakes. Many Turkish activists are using this opportunity to engage with those in the rural interior of Turkey who have never really been involved in politics before to open their eyes to the faults of the government and make them think about the issues at stake.

In Singapore, there is a divide but it is along a different lines. My mother is a staunch PAP supporter and she is in her 70s - she doesn't use the internet and she is quite ignorant when it comes to how democracies function in other countries. She is pretty much a frog at the bottom of the well when it comes to her view of the world as she takes very little interest in what is happening outside Singapore - so she is blissfully unaware of the direction the PAP is taking Singapore. I see people like her as the key targets in this campaign to engage the 60.14% - we need to drag them out of their ignorance and make them confront the facts. Heck, even my father has proudly crossed over from the dark side and proudly supports the opposition now - but we still have to work on my mother as she just doesn't get it.

So there you go. I am not just a cynic who has nothing better to offer - I am offering a pragmatic and simple campaign: engage the 60.14%. Talk to them, reason with them, engage them, listen to them and start a conversation. You may or may not be able to change their minds but at least you are bringing them out of their shell. It is often apathy that makes many older voters default to the PAP - people like my mother don't understand many of the issues at stake, so they default to what they have known and trusted for years not because they actually like the PAP, but because they don't know what else to do. All you can do is to make such people think about the issues that matter to them in Singapore, make them consider the facts and what the PAP is doing and hopefully, they will come to the right conclusion.

What do you think? Did you black out your blog today? What did you think about this gesture of protest? What should we be doing in defiance? Where will all this lead to? Leave a comment, let me know. Thank you for reading.

Limpeh in Istanbul

MDA wants to expand the Broadcast Act next year

2013-06-04T01:35:00.001+01:00

OMFG, are these jokers for real? Get this: the MDA wants to expand the Broadcast Act. Minister for Communications and Information Yaacob Ibrahim told reporters yesterday, "We will amend the Broadcasting Act next year, with a view to ensure that any other sites which are hosted overseas but reporting on Singapore news, are also brought into the licensing framework." At the moment, the Act does not empower the government to take action against any entity that is based overseas. "But, if they are transmitting news to Singaporeans and Singapore is their target market, then we will have to do something about it," said Dr Yaacob.

Yaacob, did you pause for a moment and think about what you just said? Are you actually serious? These other websites hosted overseas, people like BBC News, CNN, Sky News, ABC, Russia Today, Reuters, CNBC, ITN, Fox, France24, Al-Jazeera etc - yeah those people, you think you are going to make them pay a bond of $50,000 and they're going to do whatever you tell them to do, such as take down a news report about how corrupt the PAP is? As if that is going to work. Why would they do that? Because you said so? LMFAO.

Let's look at the BBC News for instance, they have written negative reports on countries with poor human rights records, like North Korea, Zimbabwe and Burma all these years. There are plenty of BBC news reports to make the regimes in these country look utterly corrupt and despicable. What if Robert Mugabe or Kim Jong Un confronted the BBC and told them to stop writing negative reports of their countries - what do you think the BBC would do? They would laugh at these dictators at their attempts to influence the media outside their country and continue to report the truth from these countries. In fact, Robert Mugabe hates the BBC so much that he has unceremoniously banned them from Zimbabwe for many years and during that period when the BBC was banned from Zimbabwe, they continued to report from neighbouring South Africa whilst still sneaking over the border, often posing as tourists or businessmen to secretly film conditions in Zimbabwe and interview Zimbabweans.

Likewise, the BBC is not allowed into North Korea - but they still secretly enter North Korea and film there anyway and cover stories about North Korea from their bases South Korea and China. Do you think they care if Kim Jong Un said to them, "stop writing negative stuff about North Korea! I want you to take down all those negative stories on the BBC News website about North Korea!" It doesn't work like that.

So if it came to that, the MDA could threaten the BBC, "unless you comply with our laws, you will be banned from Singapore". The BBC would not cave in to such demands - they would simply shift their Singaporean operations to neighbouring Malaysia and report from there, still covering stories from Singapore. We would then have BBC journalists posing as tourists or businessmen coming to Singapore and sneakily reporting from Singapore, just like they did in Zimbabwe after being banned from Zimbabwe.

This boils down to enforcement. Can the MDA (or any other arm of the Singaporean government) coerce a foreign media organization to behave a certain way? No. But what if they wrote something that was inaccurate, misleading or factually incorrect? The fact is there are already libel laws that do cover the news outlets in the media and these laws should be adequate to cover the reporting of stories in Singapore by foreign media organizations.

So take for example, if the BBC wrote a story on their news website about the Singaporean government that is misleading and untrue, then the Singaporean government will have the right to hold BBC news to account in the UK (where they are headquartered) and the authorities in the UK will then hear the case the Singaporean government brings against the BBC. There are formal channels to address issues like that in the legal channels - which is identical to the one in Singapore since most of the laws in Singapore were inherited from the UK anyway, as Singapore is an ex-British colony. If a crime (such as libel) has been committed, the crime has to be trialed in the country where the crime is committed, not where the 'victim' resides. So it is not like the news reporting in the media in the UK is not regulated at the moment - it has always been regulated here in the UK and there are already plenty of laws protecting our press freedom in the UK at least. We don't need or want the MDA to tell us here in London what we can or cannot say about Singapore or anyone and I'd like to see you try MDA, go on, I dare you. I challenge you to have the guts to try.

If the BBC had a Singaporean entity 'BBC Singapore' based in Singapore with studios producing local content for the local market, then this 'BBC Singapore' entity would come under the remit of the MDA and it would have to play by the local rules. However, the BBC only has a small BBC Worldwide Channels Asia office in Singapore at 700 Beach Road, #08-08, Singapore 199598. This is not a production office, rather it is a sales office. According to their website:

"BBC Worldwide, the commercial arm of the BBC, is a fast-growing media and entertainment company. Our mission is to maximise profits on behalf of the BBC by creating, acquiring, developing and exploiting media content and media brands around the world. We are self-funded and return profits to the BBC to be reinvested in programmes and services to help keep the UK licence fee as low as possible. "

Oh yeah, the BBC does a lot more than report the news - they make loads of entertainment programmes and documentaries like Dr Who, Planet Earth and Top Gear which BBC Worldwide sells around the world for a lot of profit. This is the only BBC Worldwide office in all of South East Asia, so they are handling the BBC's business (ie. selling their programmes) to networks in Malaysia, Philippines, Indonesia, Thailand ec. So clearly, given that they are dealing with TV programmes rather than online news content - their commercial activities are not directly relevant to the MDA's Broadcast Act . Really, you're after the news team, whilst there are journalists and correspondents all over the world, the news is all managed centrally in London. So I'd like to see the MDA try to dictate to the BBC in London as to what they can or cannot report about Singapore. What are they going to do? What can they do to the BBC?

They may threaten, "We'll stop buying your BBC programmes! We'll stop Singaporeans from watching Top Gear! We'll close down your BBC Worldwide office in Singapore if you don't comply!" To which the BBC would probably reply, "Go ahead, we don't care. We'll just move our BBC Worldwide office in Kuala Lumpur then."

Let me know if they succeed - because I'm sure Kim Jong Un and Robert Mugabe would love to know how you stop the BBC and all these other journalists around the world from writing negative stories about their country. Yaacob, you didn't think this one through, did you? There's an old saying, engage brain before mouth. I suggest you try that when you are trying to legislate on the issue of internet media.

You know whom I blame for this? The 60.14% who voted for this bullshit. Enough already. Sudah cukup lah! If you know of a family member, relative, friend or colleague who is part of the 60.14% who voted for the PAP, tell them it is all their fault that this is happening. You have such total idiots who have no freaking clue how the media or the internet works making laws about it and this would've been funny if it wasn't the law. This shit just got real bitch, so there's no point in being paiseh or polite about the issue - if you know someone who is amongst the 60.14%, you must take action and engage them today. As usual, please feel free to leave a comment below. Stand up for press freedom, defend your freedom of speech and tell the PAP bastards in white to kindly go fuck themselves with a big durian.

Yet another one of Limpeh's diving videos

2013-06-04T00:05:00.002+01:00

One more diving montage from me - showing you my progress and a back splat after a full twisting back layout when I totally got lost mid-twist and crashed. Please bear in mind that Limpeh is a 37 year old uncle learning to dive, I am no spring chicken but I am bravely rising to the challenge of a new sport!

Do you want to excel or just 'get by'?

2013-06-02T20:34:00.001+01:00

Dear readers, please allow me to get this off my chest. I had an argument with my mother and it is over a rather contentious issue about how we speak English in Singapore. She contradicted herself and I wasn't going to let her get away with it. Let me explain what led to the argument: my nephew had just done pretty badly for English for his mid-year exams. The kid is only in primary 4 and my mother was defending my nephew, claiming that he speaks English very well. I paused for a moment and pointed out the obvious, "excuse me, are we talking about the same person here? His English is terrible. That is why he is struggling to pass his exams."

My mother found all kinds of excuses, refusing to accept that my nephew does have a problem with English - after all, she gives my nephew English tuition and if he is struggling to pass the subject at the school, then surely something is wrong with the way he is taught. I suppose as his tuition teacher, my mother took it personally when I said that my nephew's English is quite simply, terrible. Sorry for being so blunt.

No, not my nephew's textbook I'm afraid.

This is why I am not impressed with my nephew's English: he is unable to make the distinction between Singlish and English. Singlish is fine for informal settings amongst family and friends, but the problem is that he writes the way he speaks - young children are simply unable to make that distinction between formal and informal speech so his written English is pretty colloquial. This probably explains why he is struggling to pass English at school and yes I have seen his homework, so I know what I am talking about.

My mother kept insisting that my nephew speaks English well and I had to choose my words carefully in response to that, "it is good that he isn't shy to speak up and express himself - it is very healthy for children to have the confidence to interact and communicate with their peers and other adults around them like that. However, his pronunciation is terrible and his grammar is rubbish. The kid is speaking Singlish all the time, not English - now I have absolutely nothing against Singlish and I consider Hokkien as a my first language. But the kid is learning English at school, not Singlish and that is why he is struggling to pass English as he is rather confused."

One of the key reasons why my nephew speaks Singlish rather than English is because he is surrounded by Singlish speakers - his peers at school speak Singlish and everyone in his extended family mostly speak Mandarin and some Singlish. No one actually speaks standard English with him (but I haven't met his teachers at his school, maybe they do). The fact is the adults in the family don't really think, "oh the poor kid is going to get confused if we speak to him in Singlish or Singdarin" - no, this is the way my family has been speaking all these years and they're not going to change overnight just because my nephew can't tell the difference between formal and informal language. I am the only one in the family who speaks to him in standard Mandarin and English (the kid doesn't understand any Hokkien), but the problem is that I don't live in Singapore and am in no position to help him with his languages.

My mother claims that he does watch American TV programmes and has no problem understand the Angmohs' English. That may be so, but I had to point out to her that understanding American English is not the same as being able to speak American English or standard English. Given that my nephew doesn't interact with any native speakers of English, he has never really had the need to venture out of his comfort zone and attempt to speak proper English.

I then pointed out a number of words which my nephew mispronounces on a regular basis and realized that my mother mispronounces those words too in exactly the same manner. Oh, so that's whom he picks up his bad habits from, it's from grandma. I never questioned the way my mother speaks English - of course she speaks Singlish, she is a retired old Ah Soh from Ang Mo Kio and she has an extremely strong Singaporean accent. My mother never has to take another exam ever again and so she can do whatever she wants. She can stop speaking English altogether if she wants, speak only Hokkien and that would be perfectly fine. However, my nephew doesn't have that same luxury and his mid-year exam results have just reminded us that he needs to learn how to speak English properly.

Now some Singaporeans know the difference between informal language and formal language - we can joke and laugh with our friends in Singlish and then switch to formal language when we go for a job interview or take an English exam. It is called code-switching and many of you are familiar with it. I have never really had a problem with that as I would usually language switch rather than code switch, given that I grew up in Singapore primarily speaking Mandarin and Hokkien rather than English - so for me it was Chinese for informal chat, English for formal studies/work. However, my nephew has yet to understand how code-switching works - he doesn't have a more formal, standard form of English to switch into because nobody has taught him how to speak standard English properly. All he has is Singlish.

This is how I feel when I look at the way my nephew writes in English.

"He needs to learn to speak Standard English, what he is speaking now is anything but proper English," I declared. My mother then suddenly got so incredibly defensive. "What is wrong with the way Singaporean speak one? We have been speaking like that for decades and we have always got by just fine one. Why must speak like angmoh one then good izzit? You think Angmoh English is better one meh?"

I then explained to her that she had just contradicted herself, which confused her somewhat. "Lr si kaki... You are 自相矛盾... sorry I don't know how to say that in Hokkien." She still didn't quite get it - so I explained further. "You have spent the last few years bludgeoning your grandson through the Singaporean education system for what? For him to simply 'get by'? Or for him to do well?"

"Of course it is for him to do well lah, we want the best for him what," she replied.

"That's fine - if you think that it is important for him to excel and do well in his studies, why is it okay for him to simply 'get by' in English then? Surely you would want him to be so good in English he could be a radio DJ, a newsreader or a professor in English at NUS. You have just said that you want the best for him, that would mean giving him an education that would enable him to have those opportunities open to him, rather than have doors shut to him because he can't speak half decent English. At this rate, he may even fail his PSLE English."

Are you able to express yourself confidently in English?

"Sure plenty of people in life just 'get by' - that auntie who works at the photocopy shop near Ang Mo Kio library only deals with locals, she would never have to deal with a tourist or represent her company at an international business conference, so she can speak Singlish all day long and it would be perfectly alright. But place her at the front desk of an airline at Changi Airport and the foreign travelers would struggle to understand what she is saying in Singlish. Do you want to give your grandson an education that will enable him to deal with foreigners in an international context, for him to go on business trips and represent his company with pride? Do you want your grandson to be handicapped by his inability to speak English properly?"

Silence. My mother then said, "I speak like that all my life one where got problem one lah?"

"Mum, you were a primary school teacher, you dealt with primary school students in Ang Mo Kio all your life. Your students all understood you and you understood them fine because you all had the same accent. If your students had a teacher with a foreign sounding accent, then they may struggle to understand the lesson. However, what are you trying to do as a teacher? Are you preparing your students for the working world? Are you imparting skills that will serve them well when they become working adults? Or are you simply leaving them to 'get by' with the bear minimum? Will they be able to communicate with the rest of the world effectively in English or would they only be understood by others in Ang Mo Kio who speak Singlish?"

When does a strong accent hinder communication?

Silence.

"Do you want your grandson to do well in life, or simply 'get by'? If so, then fine, spare the kid all that endless tuition and let him go out and play with his friends, do loads of sports. He will 'get by' in life one way or another without any tuition or extra lessons. It's perfectly fine to just 'get by' in life, even without a degree - but somehow, I don't think that's what you had in mind for him, to just 'get by' in life. So do you want him to just 'get by' or do you want him to excel? If you want him to excel, then fine send him to all those tuition classes but also make sure he learns how to speak English properly. Just because you can't speak English properly doesn't mean it is okay for your grandson to speak English like you. Put your pride aside and think what is best for your grandson."

Again, silence. Ooops, did I go too far in pointing out the obvious to my mother, that she can't speak English properly? A rather long awkward silence ensues.

"Er... Mum, hello? Are you there?"

"I think you better speak to your sister lah. I pass the phone to her, okay?"

My mum teaching my nephew English = the blind leading the blind

There you go, that was my argument with my mother. She has her blind spots - I suppose it has been quite a long time since she has had to speak to a foreigner, so she is obviously oblivious to how bad her English actually is. It is also a matter of pride for her - would she be humble enough to admit that she probably isn't the best person to help my nephew with his English if he is really struggling that much with the language? I doubt it somehow - my mother sees herself as the solution rather than the problem (and I beg to differ).

I don't get it - I came from a Mandarin/Hokkien speaking household in Ang Mo Kio but had no problem learning English with little help from my parents. I suppose my two very intelligent older sisters were definitely helpful but hey, my two older sisters are still around too and a big part of my nephew's life, so why he is struggling with English despite their efforts? I suppose I picked up a lot of English simply by watching TV, but my nephew watches TV too. I don't think the English teachers I had in primary school or secondary school were that brilliant either, but I wasn't prepared to 'get by' and I found a way to conquer the English language one way or another. So what is the missing piece of the puzzle for my nephew's quest to master English? Or are some people just not good with languages and will always just 'get by'?

My take on the situation is this: I don't really care if my nephew fails English at school. I say, rather than punish the kid for not being a straight A student with endless tuition, why not just let the kid have a happier childhood? So what if he speaks Singlish instead of English? But if you are going to give him some tuition to try to help him improve his grades, then at least get a tuition teacher who is going to improve his English rather than pass on a lifetime of bad mistakes. You want him to do well in maths, but you don't seem to mind if he flunks English? Wait, my mother does care if he doesn't do well in English - yet she fails to understand why she is part of the problem. I feel bad about pointing this out to my mother as she is motivated by love and trying her best. If my nephew was doing okay at school, then I would gladly mind my own business. But since he is clearly struggling, then I don't know if I should keep quiet about it.

What should I do? Shall I tell my sister that my mother is probably not the best person to tuition my nephew and that my mother is probably part of the problem rather than the solution? Sigh. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I do feel like I ought to say something. Please do leave a comment below, thanks.