Lindy Loves...

Downton Abbey

2012-02-15T16:06:00.000-07:00

I came across a few discussions, on Blogher today about Downton Abbey. If you are a fan of the show they are worth browsing through.

Photo courtesy of latimes

One of my girlfriends mentioned she had been watching it, by our excited reaction you’d think Brad Pitt himself had walked into the room. Me and another friend lit up, gasped and said, “It’s so good.” At this point you would have thought we had just been grabbed Brad’s tush, but no, we were just talking about this charming PBS series.

Photo courtesy of Hollywood Reporter

Downton Abbey is well into its second season, only I just discovered it. My mom had let me borrow the first season. She placed it on my counter, “You’ll like it.” It sat in that very spot for weeks, because I hadn’t had a moment to watch it. Then, low and behold, I heard it had won a Golden Globe, and that’s when I popped it in. Now, I’m addicted.

Photo Courtesy of usa today

I love how the story highlights the servants, whereas, other British films I’ve seen don’t. You’ll be amazed with the costumes and the array of character, each with their own agenda. Actors include Maggie Smith, Elizabeth Mcgovern and Phyllis and Phyllis Logan to name a few.

I’ve just finished season one. They have been signed on for a third season. Way to go PBS.

Bachelor Review: Week 7

2012-02-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of abc

This week our journey will be in Belize to give Ben ample opportunity to sport striped tank tops, and he does.

Lindzi get s a one on one, which causes Nicki to cry, of course.

He had an amazing date planned for him and Lindzi, which involved a helicopter. How does Ben come up with all these great date ideas?

They then jump out of the helicopter from about 10 feet up (pansy asses), they compared this jump to the jumps we take in relationships, just like you knew they would.

Then they send a message in a bottle. WTF? Lindzi thought this was a romantic activity. Again, WTF? Then Linz said something about fairy tales and prince charming, I missed the rest because this kind of talk always makes me puke.

Lindzi wears too much makeup.

Next Emily gets a one on one, which causes Courtney to cry and suggest she is suicidal. Yes, that seems like a normal, healthy reaction.

Does his hair keep getting worse?

They fish for lobster and Emily actually believes this is a random happening. Isn’t Ben spontaneous? No Emily he is not, he did not come up with one original date idea. Sweetie you’ve seen this show before haven’t you?

Courtney stays behind and bitches about Emily being on a date. Here’s the thing girl, you can leave at anytime.

Courtney gets a one on one, so for a moment she gets up off the floor and stops kicking, screaming and crying. We should all be so grateful.

The group date includes Rachel, Kacie B., Nicki and sharks.

Do we need to still call her Kacie B.? The other one went home.

Kacie is more scared of Rachel getting all the attention than she is of sharks. Proving, jealousy will kill you faster than a fierce aggressive animal will. Oh, the lessons we learn from the Bachelor.

The group date participants warn Ben about our favorite villain, Courtney.

Rachel and Emily are sent packing. Yes we are all shocked Courtney is staying. The wicked witch reigns again.

Another valuable lesson: Ben’s a tool.

Next week our journey will whisk is away to the home towns of Courtney, Lindzi, Nicki and Kacie.

Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T14:04:00.000-07:00

My dears,
What are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day? It seems when it comes to this holiday there are only two categories; love or hate. Which do you fall under?

I have a lot of Valentine memories as a kid. My mom would always do something special for us. I would wake up Valentine’s morning and there would, for a number of years, be a new dance leotard. Then it grew into a cute shirt throughout high school and college. When I was in college, for some reason, I loved getting mail. I was elated when I’d have mail around this time of year. I remember one year she sent me a pink chi straightener. I went to work and bragged about it all day. Even today, as an adult, I still get something from my mom on Valentine’s; it kind of makes it sweet.

What do you do for Valentines? Go out for dinner? Stay in and avoid the crowded restaurant scene? Do you do something special for your kids?

Photo Credit: Twig & Thistle

Book Review: The Weird Sisters

2012-02-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

This is a paid review for BlogHer but the opinions expressed are my own. Photo Credit: wonderpuggraphics

Eleanor Brown’s novel highlights three sisters who have all been beckoned home due to their mother’s illness. Yet the real reason for their return has to do with their own unique failures.

Rose, moves in with her parents when her fiancé decides to pursue his career in England. She doesn’t accompany him as she feels the need to care for her mother. Rose is an intelligent PhD with an unofficial offer at the local university. It is my opinion Rose never needed to care for her mother, as her father seemed capable. She also seemed to act as a second mother to her two younger sisters. Mt take was Rose hid behind these self-made responsibilities to avoid moving away from the safety of home. In the end Rose finally commits to living with her fiancé in England, I believe this is how Rose conquered her hurdle and finally began living her own life.

Bean returns home from New York after being fired. Bean’s morals are most questionable as she stole from her company and her level of promiscuity is just plain destructive. I thought Bean was the most lost of the sisters. She tied up her worth in the way she looked, the clothes she owned and the status she was continually pretending to have. Bean needed to learn she couldn’t run from her problems anymore and therefore finds herself as a librarian in her home town.

Cordy, the baby of the family is a wonderer. Her bohemian lifestyle catches up with her by way of a positive pregnancy test. She returns home before her belly begins to grow. It takes months before she is able to confess her pending motherhood to her family. The idea of confessing failures in this family seems to be the painfully difficult theme of the book.

The communication within the Andreas family is through quotes of Shakespeare. It was like the sisters along with their parents despite all the academic emphasis never learned how to talk to each other. Each sister was scared to admit the turns their lives had taken. This point struck me. I can understand the fear we have when we must admit our failures to the ones we love. It seems they were overwhelmed by the idea that their family wouldn’t hold them in the esteem they thought they should be seen in.

As one of three sisters, myself, this novel was relatable in a big way. I do wish we could have learned more about the parents. Brown goes into such depth as we learn about each sister, yet I kept wishing we knew why they were the way they are. The discussion continues over at BlogHer-http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-weird-sisters

Baking with Mom

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

The Bedtime Routine

2012-02-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

This post was prompted by Write on Edge. "In the spirit of dialect, slang, and turns of phrase, this week’s RemembeRED prompt is: Write a piece of creative non-fiction in which turns of phrase, dialect, slang, or colloquialisms feature prominently."

“It’s time for bed sweetie.”

“One moye stoyee, pease,” She begged.

I looked down at those big brown eyes, okay one more then it’s off to bed you go.

She did her famous celebratory jump, “Dis one mommy.”

I opened the glittered cover and began to read, “Once upon a time there lived three pretty princesses.”

Tiny hands clapped joyously, “Pitty pincesse, pitty pincess!”

A smile stretched across my face, I continued the story, “One princess had long curly locks as red as an apple and she loved glittery dresses. The next had hair as dark as chocolate; she loved books and telling stories. The blond princess liked to play…”

Her tiny hands flipped to the next page. She ran her fingers across the glitter of the princess dress. “Pitty, pitty,” She exclaimed.

With all the hurried turning of the pages story-time was a bit quicker tonight.

“All the princesses were different, and each was beautiful in her own way.” I closed the book, and kissed her cheek.

“Okay baby, time for bed.” I said without a grin.

“Chalky milk,” She demanded.

I stared down at those big eyes, one hand perched on my hip, “You’re stalling, and I’m not falling for it.”

“Daaa, I some chalky milk,” She yelled down the hall.

“No honey, dad knows your tricks too.” I scooped her body up, laid her down, positioned her worn-out blankie next to her soft cheek, the same way I did every night.

“Nigh, nigh I laa you, I said softly as I began to shut the door.”

“Laa ew, nigh, nigh.”

I closed the door, plopped my heavy body on the couch next to my husband, the stress of the day melted, “She down.”

He put his arm around my neck pulled my face closer and kissed me on the cheek, “Laa you,” He said.

Bachelor Review: Week 6

2012-02-06T21:58:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of examiner.com

We’re down to nine women.

The women are in Panama City, Panama this week.

The women are thrilled to be there. The women can “see themselves with him.”

The first time the women saw Ben the women looked like a bunch of drooling puppies. No really, I think I saw one trying to hump his leg.

The women are falling for him. May I quote the man of the hour, “I can Potentially see myself with some of the women.” Wait? Is ABC promoting polygamy now?

Has he ever heard of any other term to refer to the female species? This is getting rough.

Courtney, Mrs. Skinny- dippin- so- sure -of- herself- little- snot, is jealous of Kacie B.

Dear Courtney, jealousy, not a good look for you.

Kacie and Ben take a, drum roll….. Helicopter to a remote island where they will most likely be left to die, at least then maybe we’d have something to talk about, right?

They bring out their survival tools and Kacie laughs at each and everything he does. I bet she was more exhausted at pretending he was funny than by catching her dinner.

Courtney could not bring up skinny dipping more if she tried. She is trying, really, really hard.

On the group date they randomly (yeah, right) run into a small village where the ladies gave all the bachelor women beads for their boobies, and for Ben they supplied a loin cloth. Yes, I’m sure they didn’t know they were coming.

Courtney was the only woman to free-boob it under the beads. Ben really liked this… I can tell he’s taking this journey very seriously. He’s totally ready for a serious relationship; I don’t care what you say.

Meanwhile ABC spent the entire time blurring out Courtney’s bare chest. I’m sure those camera guys hate their job.

He really likes Courtney; yep he’s a scum bag.

Jamie seems sensible. Therefore, this is not the show for her.

Emily made a joke this week instead of her usual tattle tale episode. Good on you Em.

Emily tries to apologize to Courtney. Courtney, the class act that she is, does not accept. Can I speak for us all and say, Courtney, we desperately want to smack your pouty face.

Rachel and Blakley go on a two-on-one. Am I really using terms like two-on-one?

We learn the Blakley is more than a competitive softball player. She is also a competitive dater.

Also, a side note, does anyone know why her name is Blakley? My bet, Blake had a sex change, and viola, Blakley is born.

Rachel and Blakley compete by way of salsa dancing. It was terribly uncomfortable.

Blakley made a scrapbook of their journey so far. This is hilarious, even more hilarious, this is not the first scrapbook move we’ve seen on the bachelor. What people will do for a rose, it’s amazing.

In the end Blakley goes home. I’m actually kind of surprised by this. Blakley seems like his type. Blakey cries and hangs on to Ben for a very long and uncomfortable period of time.

Chris H. shows up. This is never good. He approaches Casy S. says he’s been told by three different sources that she is love with someone from home.

Chris H. Love patrol. I’m surprised he didn’t arrest her.

Casey denies it. Says she may still be in love with someone back home, but she doesn’t want to be. Well, at least, those are the words our adorable Chris H. helped her create.

Instead of escorting her right to prison, Chris marches her to Ben’s place to just, “Have a talk.”

Ben sends her packing. What would we do without our love detective Chris H.

The previews made this seem, by the way she was crying, that there had been a death in the family or something, no… no… it was just ABC spinning it.

Casey is an ugly crier. This is why she hasn’t opened up to Ben. Can you really blame her?

Jamie gets the boot. Here is the take away. In the bachelor there are sluts and sob stories. You may think there are more categories but you would be wrong. Jamie had a good sob story she really should have pulled it out because slutty just didn’t work for her.

Next week it’s Belize with six women. Join me here for more tears, skinny dipping and phrases such as falling, journey and the women.

Dearest Daughter,

2012-02-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Milly,

You are two! I simply can’t believe it. You are a kid and sometimes I miss my baby, but the trade-off has its perks. You say more and more every day. For a while you would continually cup your little face with your tiny hands, and say, “Oh no, sad.” I don’t know what you found to be so gloomy, but if you don’t mind me saying, it was quite adorable.

You love wearing your tutu and waving your wand. One day you got up put a tutu over your pajamas and when I got you dressed for the day you chose a different tutu to go over your pants. It made it obvious to me you are simply not a baby anymore.

As for the terrible two’s, they are as true as the sky is blue. You can create a disastrous mess in a matter of seconds. The other day I was in the kitchen you were only a few steps away, I looked over and you had smashed your taco soup into the carpet. You were quite pleased with yourself. I guess it’s better than all the times you painted our furniture with your poop.

Right now your new trick is jumping. We say, “Milly how high can you jump?” You prep yourself with your arms swinging down to your knees then you jump as high as you can as your arms pop up over your head. You barley get off the ground, but I think to you, you are flying.

You love ice cream. Dad cannot eat his ice cream without you begging for it. You also love carrots dipped in hummus. Today you dipped your entire hand in hummus and licked it clean and just before that you ate handful after handful of pistachio nuts. You also love pizza, spaghettios and spaghetti; we’ve always thought somehow have some Italian heritage.

You are a dancing woman. If you hear music anywhere you will come running, or get off the couch as fast as you can to begin swinging you hips to the beat. And oh my goodness can you shake it.

Your favorite movie is Rio. You ask to watch it constantly, “Rio, Rio, Rio.” You’ll demand. I think it’s your favorite because there are a lot of tunes you can get really get down to.

Sometimes out of nowhere you will start laughing. You will look up laugh incessantly and your whole body will shake. We have no idea why you do this, but we get a kick out of it.

You love nursery and you also love kids club. You are quite the social butterfly.

You are crazy about dogs. The other day you would have followed the neighbor’s dog to the edge of the earth. It makes me really nervous, that you may start asking for one. I fear you and your dad will tag team me into it one of these days.

You never walk anywhere, you only run. You either stop and stand, or run. There is no in between with you. In fact, there’s no in between with you in many ways. You are either the most charming little person in the world or an absolute monster. Your mood can change with the flip of a switch and it’s a mystery to me as to which child you will be on a daily or rather an hourly basis.

Milly you’ve still got those famously chubby cheeks that I cannot stop kissing. I’m going to be devastated when you finally out-grow them. Your hair is long and curly and I only wish you’d hold still long enough to let me do something with it. You are a shorty, and you’ve got the smallest hands and feet of any two year old around.

Milly, we are simply crazy about you. Each night your dad goes into your room before he goes to bed and his comment is the same each night, “She’s perfect.”

Milly it’s an absolute privilege to be your mom. You are the sunshine of our lives.

Love you with all my heart,

Mama

Music & Writer's Block

2012-02-02T15:07:00.000-07:00

Tired and worn out all Alice wanted to do was bake some sugar cookies, eat more frosting than socially acceptable and finally start season one of Downton Abbey.

Resisting her urge, she filled her cup with coffee using slightly more cream than usual. As she generously poured the cream she thought, what the hell, these extra calories may just be the highlight of my week. She headed to the darkest corner of her home where her computer stood ready and waiting. She hacked away at the keyboard trying to create something, anything. Words ran through her fingers, sentences formed but a brick wall came crashing in between her mind and the screen, she could no longer see any value in what she was writing. “More pointless shit by your truly,” She said aloud.

She dropped her head in her hands, her thumbs playing with her earrings, pinkies rubbing her eyelashes she let out a sigh. She said to herself, if I’m not going to write maybe I’ll listen to some lyrics and call it research. She began streaming Brandi Carlile. Brandi could make it better, she thought. As she listened to her words,

I am afraid of crossing lines

I am afraid of flying blind

Afraid of inquiring minds

Afraid of being left behind

And when you feel like giving in

Or the coming of the end

Like your heart could break in two

Someone loves you, yeah.

She realized two things, One, Brandi did have all the answers, and two her fears had stopped her from writing what she wanted. What would the repercussions be? What if I write my truth? What will they think of me? As she questioned the limitations of this fear she noticed this was no isolated incident. She had questioned every little thing in her life. She sipped on her coffee, closed her eyes, the warmness trickled down her throat and when she opened her eyes the wall was gone. The fear, dissipated, she wrote and wrote. Her fingers barley keeping up with her thoughts, tears wet her cheeks. Once the truth was out and on paper, suddenly she felt light, she felt free. “Thanks Brandi,” She said as she closed her laptop.

Milly's Birthday Party

2012-02-01T13:50:00.002-07:00

Milly you turned two on Sunday we can hardly believe how fast it's gone.

Bachelor Review: Week 5

2012-01-31T13:53:00.002-07:00

Image courtesy of msn entertainment

The girls and Ben are in Puerto Rico this week.

Courtney is wearing a T-shirt that says, Be Nice. I guess one of the other girls should have worn it so Courtney could actually read the message.

Nikki gets a one on one. Ben’s only plan for the date was to walk around that was spoiled with all the rain. They proceed to buy culturally authentic clothing. Nikki looked almost cute while Ben, dressed head to toe in white, looked like an old man, but not in the cute way.

Humidity is doing no favors for Ben’s hair.

Yet surprise, surprise Nikki is “falling” for him. Puke.

Next we have a group date and the girls have to play each other in baseball and the winning team gets to have a beach party with Ben that night.

ABC managed to find the shortest shorts for the girl’s team uniforms. Oh ABC, you know how to win us all over. They also found Ben a uniform which was about 3 sizes too big. He looked like a little boy and not in the cute way.

But seriously, Blakley is kind of a good player. Yet her team loses in the end and she cries along with the rest of her loser team mates. Stupid Biotches… “There’s no crying on baseball!”

Courtney’s team wins. Evil prevails! But really, do you think she’s a witch?

Then Elyse (you know, she’s the one that is a slightly better looking version of Snookie) gets a one on one. She talks about how much she wants to be here with Ben, and that she is taking this journey very seriously. Then she said that over and over again. I mean she beat that horse dead. In the end she was sent home without a rose, he kicked her right off the yacht into a little tiny, you’ve been rejected boat, it was kind of rough.

So it looks like its back to the Jersey Shore for Elyse. Elyse, the good news, you have really hot legs so I think you’ll be just fine.

When Ben comes home from giving Elyse the boot, Courtney is waiting in the stairwell with a night cap and an offer to go skinny dipping.

Ben, that SOB, jumped right in. He’s and idiot and a jerk and my most sincere wish is all the other find out and walk away and then he is left with only Courtney who will most likely put nasty spells on him for the rest of their time together, which will probably be about 3 weeks.

Emily talks to Ben and apologizes for being a little tattle tale. Then she continues to tattle tale. It was, as Courtney would say, “Not a good look.”

Ben made-out with Jennifer then sent her packing after the rose ceremony. We all thought Emily, the tattler would be going, but I guess she gets another shot.

I thought Ben was just kind of boring, but we are quickly seeing he’s a bit of a jerk. Maybe he and Courtney deserve each other.

See you next week. We’ll be taking this journey to Panama City.

Because You've got to have Friends

2012-01-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

We met in the first grade, Mrs. Pulsipher’s class, she was tall, beautiful and girlie in every sense of the word, and as for me I was short, sporty and somewhat rough around the edges. As the rule states, opposites attract, we were no exception.

We carpooled together, played together about everyday and soon we achieved some common interests such as dolls, dollhouses, and sprite.

Before we began each play date we would have to determine the location, your house or mine? She would always ask, “Outside or inside?” I don’t know why she would bother to ask, my reply was annoyingly consistent, “Your house, outside.” I knew perfectly well her preference was the opposite. On occasion she would win the argument, I’d stroll my dolly to her house, of course she always met me half way, we’d play with our dolls, drink sprite and eat Mac N’ Cheese or Top Roman. I loved being at her house because my sisters didn’t live there, she loved being at my house because my sisters were there.

Carissa, throughout most of our years together, was an only child; yet over time the lines between friend and sister became blurred. I would go on trips with her family; her home was my second home. She would come to Bear Lake with my family each summer. I was her sister and she was mine. Even my own sisters adopted her as such.

In the 6^th grade she moved about 30 minutes away. I was devastated; it felt as if a member of my family was plucked out of my home and placed in another city. My mom promised she would drive me to her home as much as possible. She kept her promise. Later my family moved, which made our commute just 15 minutes. Now we are about two hours away, yet with families and responsibilities of our own the miles aren’t the only distance between us. Our visits are few and far between. A random phone call, an email and a text highlighting an inappropriate quote from a movie keep us together. Though our lives have grown in their own different direction we still know at any given moment we could call the other and cry. To have such a friend, is a rare gift.

Yet sometimes I wish we were still kids sipping sprite, watching movies and making one decision, outside or inside.

Write on Edge, thanks again for your inspiration. The picture above is of our daughters at the zoo.

Pistachio Pesto

2012-01-30T15:26:00.003-07:00

I used this recipe and swapped the pine nuts for pistachios, and oh my goodness it was amazing.

I poured it over some bow tie pasta and it made a perfect meal. Be aware this is a bit thicker than most pesto sauces. Also, I dipped a few tortilla chips in it and now I'm convinced it would make a great dip for your Superbowl party. Happy Eating.

A Baby Changes Everything

2012-01-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

Alice stepped out her door; an immediate gust almost stole her umbrella. Hovering from the rain, she quickly made her way around the corner.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Sandra opened the door, sporting smelly sweats adorned with some fresh baby vomit.

Alice outstretched her arm. Lifted up a gift, “This is for mom, not baby.”

Sandra motioned Alice in, “Come in friend.”

Bottles on the counter, a swing in the living room, diapers on the coffee table, binkies between the couch cushions and a breast pump sitting at the kitchen table, acting like more of an intruder than a house guest.

Alice had to ask herself, what the hell kind of war had Sandra just lost?

Sandra gingerly placed herself on the couch; Alice grimaced at the thought of exactly why she had to be so careful.

“Alice, have a seat; Pearl is down for a nap. You know, that way she’ll have the energy to be up all night, perfect, right?”

“Right, so how are you doing?" Alice played her question back to herself in her mind, afraid maybe she wasn’t asking it the right way.

Sandra sighed, “Um… I’m okay.”

Alice finally made eye contact with Sandra. Dark bags framed her once vibrant eyes, “Well that’s good, but you know, it would be okay if you weren’t so okay. You know that, right?"

Sandra’s head dropped, shoulders shrugged and the weeping spewed out of her like someone had just opened a well shaken can of soda.

“I can’t do this, she cries and cries. She’s just this thing that won’t stop crying. Sandra stood up and began to pace, I’m her mother! I should know how to comfort her! What kind of mother am I?"

Alice stood up placed her hands over Sandra’s shoulders, and forced her down to the couch, “Sandra, listen to me. You are the kind of mother, who just went through a 26 hours of labor; you’re running on no sleep, milking yourself like a cow and from the smell of you, you haven’t even had a shower, so please give yourself a break.”

Sandra’s head dropped again and she whispered, “This is just not what I thought it would be.”

Alice pulled Sandra’s head into her neck, arms stretched around her weary shoulders, “Sandy, we will figure this out, we will, I promise.”

This post was inspired by write on edge. We were asked to polish up on some weak points. No subject specifications, with a 400 word limit. This week I tried to work on dialogue. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading,

Lindy

DIY: Bulletin Board

2012-01-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

I had left over fabric from this project. So I created a little bulletin board next to my pantry, which I was in great need of seeing as my fridge is not magnetized. I used the same concept as the previous project, I just piled the cardboard box scraps thicker (I think I used 3-4) so the pin would have something to stick into.

It works.

If these Skis Could Talk

2012-01-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

We first met when she was in college. Our connection was instantaneous. We’ve seen some pretty remarkable mountains together. We’ve experienced the best of, Utah, Colorado and British Columbia. I’ve been with her through failed relationships. I was there as she out-skied Jonathon and then there was Matt, he was okay, not great. I remember the Targee trip like it was yesterday, it’s where she first knew she had met her match. Mason was the guy to really try us. I knew he was the one before she did. I was there when her one and only asked for her hand. At the top the “Dream” lift he placed the diamond on her finger. I’ve never felt her legs shake as much as they did on that special day.

I’ve guided her down mountains she thought were too steep to face on her own. I’ve been beat up by a rock or two when she just couldn’t resist going out of bounds, both of us, an absolute sucker for adventure. I am always trying to keep up with boys. I’ve side stepped up traitorous terrain all for only a few more turns in deep powder. I’ve been with her as lasting friendships were created. I am her favorite accessory. I have served as a reliable vehicle to deepen her relationship with her husband. Needless to say, we’ve had a lot of really memorable days together. I can say with confidence I know her, better than she knows herself. I know she hates the easy stuff; she wants it fluffy and just cold enough to keep it that way. She loves the way I glide just right on top of the powder. We have worn the title, “Powder Hound” a time or two.

I am the one who gently nudges her to make one more turn, push out of the traverse one more time; because I know she’ll thank me in the end. She doubts herself; I wish she wouldn’t. She’s so much more than she gives herself credit for. In many ways I am her compass pointing her down the hill that will lead to the happiness she deserves.

By the end of each winter she puts me up, I rest in her garage like a trophy, reigning over the other toys with a slight boast in my posture because… I know her.

This post was prompted by Write on Edge. We were challenged to tell our story from the point of view of an object who bore witness in 400 words or less.

Bachelor Review: Week 4

2012-01-23T21:53:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of latimes.com

Beautiful shots of Utah go Utah!

In the first three minutes Ben has already said, “The women” ten times. He has a way with words, that one.

Ben drags out his words and then pauses abruptly at the end of each word, kind of like a white Obama of sorts.

I love how he acts like he planned the trip to Park City. Oh Benny boy, we know the low ratings you have given this show couldn’t sustain a foreign trip, but it’s cute how you’re trying to trick us. Although ABC did pull out the heli ride, it’s good to know some things never change.

Rachel gets a one on one. Kacie B. cries about it. Oh Kacie… you are on the bachelor… this is kind of how it works honey.

Rachel and Ben spend the day on a canoe. (Admittedly, I wanted them to fall out, how funny would that have been?) They had nothing to talk about and filled the silences with champagne, kissing and poignant observations about the weather.

Does Courtney know she’s being filmed? Further, does she know this will be on the air?

Ben calls out Samantha because she’s always crying and sends her packing. I have a hunch this is the first time her blond hair and cleavage hasn’t saved the day. She was a little shocked by it. Oh Sammie, don’t fret, there are many other men out there that will fall for your bullshit. You’re going to be just fine.

Hot tub, hot tub, alone time with Ben, stealing time from another girl to be with Ben… I’m bored.

You’ve got to hand it to Courtney. That broad gets what she wants. I hate to say this, but Courtney is winning.

Jennifer gets a one on one and has to wear a harness over her bikini. It was rough. Then they dropped into a crater and tried to kiss while treading water. It was awkward.

Every season there is a villain and a tattle tale, namely Courtney and Emily.

The villain always goes farther than the tattle tale. Let that be a lesson to you kids.

Monica goes home, (kind of convenient, because she won’t even have to take a flight.) The good news is we have another week of cat fights between Emily and Courtney.

DIY: Fabric Covered Boxes

2012-01-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Above my front door there is a large empty space that had been begging for a little color. I've done fabric covered canvases and thought maybe I could pull off the same look if I cut up my big Home depot boxes that were just sitting in my basement waiting for their re- purpose assignment.

First: Cut box using the fold lines as your guide.

Second: Measure, so you''ll now how much fabric you'll need.

Third: I ended up taping a couple pieces of cardboard together for a bit more dimension

Fourth: Cut out fabric and iron. Don's skip the iron step.

Fifth: Fold the fabric around the cardboard and staple it down. I just used a normal stapler.

Sixth: Hang up with Command Strips. (kind of a crooked picture, but you get the idea.)

I purchased the fabric from My Girlfriends Quilt Shop.

A Good Swim

2012-01-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

She tested the water with her toes. It felt a little chilly, once I start swimming it’ll warm up, she thought. She sat at the rim of the pool calves dangling over the edge; she began shoving her hair into her thin cap, adjusted her goggles, slipped off the wall and descended. A quick chill, her feet hit the bottom of the pool, knees bent, she pushed herself up and down and up and down, Alice always bobbed ten times before she began her swim, no reason, just a habit.

She hadn’t swum in weeks. She hadn’t done anything in weeks. Alice went to the pool that night hoping the silence of the water would somehow drown out the sound of her father’s voice, she yearned to rid his striking confessions, they played in her mind like the chorus of an annoying song interrupting her every thought, her every action, her every happiness. Alice vigorously pushed off the wall, glided until breath was necessary, took one deep breath on the right three long strokes and another breath on the left. The stroke and the techniques were like second nature to Alice. She felt comfortable here, she knew what do here, she knew how to get faster, and how to get better. The blue line provided an obvious guide, counting laps, timing laps, it was simple. Fastest time wins, no arguing, no one could bend the rules, it was fair. She swam until her shoulders and back ached. Alice pulled herself out the pool and into the showers, the warm water beating down on her skin, the world was back, as were her tears and she realized her life had no big blue guiding line, no matter how fast she was she knew she could not kick her way of this one.

Image courtesy of fitsugar.com

This post was prompted by the lovely ladies over at Write on Edge. This quote: “The cure for anything is salt water….sweat, tears or the sea.”~ Isak Dinesen, pseudonym of Baroness Karen von Blixen-Finecke was to serve as our inspiration.

Wanted: Potty Training Tips and Tricks

2012-01-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

So I think my little one is trying to force me into potty training her. She will not leave her poopies in her diaper. It use to be just during nap time that she would pull it out and paint the walls. I tried to resolve this by putting on a onsie with zipper pajamas on backwards. That worked for a couple of days, but now every single time she makes the brown stuff it is quickly found on her hands, on doors, the coffee table and so son. She has figured out how to do this while wearing pants and a onsie. It had been pretty shitty around here. I feel like my last option is to start in on potty training. She seems so young, but I guess she’s not too far off; she’s turning two in just a couple of weeks.

I’d love to hear from all you moms that have been there.
What are the tips and tricks? Thanks, I appreciate your help.

If you had to Title Yourself?

2012-01-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

For this week's promt over at WOE we were to create a title and a tagline... Here goes.

Short and Sassy

Or at least that's how Mason prefers it.

I do hope when I near the end of my life I'll have accumulated something a little more meaningful than this title, but for now, I think I've earned this one.

Bachelor Review: Episode 3

2012-01-16T22:30:00.002-07:00

Image courtesy of ask.com

They are all being whisked off to San Francisco. Ben says it is because the girls need to know more about where he is from in case one of them lives there one day. Ben, sweetie, I think it’s because ABC is on a bit of a budget. Turns out I’m the only one tuning in this season.

His sister looks better this season than last.

Chris H. shows up to explain the rules. Which are, if you get a rose you stay if you don’t you leave. Thanks for clarifying Chris. Again, that would we do without you?

Emily gets the one on one. She raised a lot of well thought out questions; she is a PhD student you know. What should I wear? Is he going to like me? Emily the two questions you need to ask. Am I loose enough to keep up with Blakley? Am I bitchy (or as Ben put it down to earth) enough to keep Courtney out of the ring?

And now a quote from Courtney, “Some of these girls are really well educated but they can be a little boring.” Oh Courtney you are going to have to be a lot prettier if you’re going to talk like that.

Emily and Ben climb to the top of the Bay Bridge. And like every season before they assimilate the experience to a having a successful relationship. Well, yes, there have been a lot of successful relationships from this.

Emily gets nervous… his kiss saves the day… oh my, does this guy think he’s in a Disney movie. Damsel in distress, strapping strong prince rescues her in the form of a kiss.

At the dinner, Ben wears lip-gloss and Emily talks about how her online dating experiences lead her to her brother… Okay now we have two movie ideas…though I don’t think Disney could endorse this one.

Ben concludes the date, “Words can’t describe.” Apparently the word ‘perfect’ can because between the two of you used that word as many times as ‘journey’ and that’s saying something.

Why did they have to take off their dresses to go skiing? A bunch of women skiing down the streets of San Fran in bikinis… It was a good day to be a homeless man in San Fran. ABC will probably spin this and call it charity work.

“Kacie B. sparkles.” I know she does, Ben, she wearing sequins.

Brittany decides to go home. Her Grandma is going to be so disappointed. I liked her, she seems like she had a little class, which is exactly why she can’t stay. This show lends itself to trash not class. ABC I just came up with your new tag line. You’re welcome.

Rachel got a rose. Monica cried. Oh Mon, take heart, there’s always Blakley.

By the way, is his hair getting worse?

Lindzi got the one on one… they do the classic private concert. I think a private concert would be awkward, but then again the idea of my boyfriend dating 20 other women also seems awkward, I suppose a private concert would be the least awkward experience this show has to offer.

Did Ben really play the piano? Nah, they probably got a double for that shot.

This show continues to be a timeless classic of good versus Evil. Obviously Courtney is the Evil.

The mystery woman is…drum roll… Shawntel… from Brad’s season, you know, the one who tried to embalm Brad… I know, it’s crazy that she got kicked off after playing; Brad, this- is- what- I’m- going- to- do- to- your- body- when- I- kill- you.

I know what you’re thinking, it’s not fair that she can just walk on, but people, you’re dealing with Chris Harrison and he is one rule barking, big watching wearing, sun of a gun. Yes he is.

Ben was about to pass out the last rose, but before he does he begins to deliver a heart- felt speech which was interrupted by Erica, the law student, when she passed out. I’m not kidding!

Once Erica was able to stand the ceremony continued, the show must go on.

It got even better! He didn’t hand out the rose at all. Jacquelyn, Erica and Shawntel are sent home. It was classic.

Next week they are going to Park City, UT! When do they film this!? You all know I would have been there! Also..ABC’s budget must be low… one too many helicopter rides.

Party Planning

2012-01-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Someone has a birthday coming up. I can't believe my little baby is going to be two! I'm wanting to do a strawberry shortcake theme. So there I was on pinterest, (If I had a dime for every time I said that) I was searching for inspiration, ideas and strawberry cake recipes. I came across a sexy image of strawberry shortcake. Really!? Do we have to make everything sexy! Poor little Milly, it's so hard being a girl. Needless to say I think we'll be leaning toward strawberry shortcake in her more innocent years.
This recipe looks irresistible, but do I dare approach a Pioneer Woman recipe?

Photo Credit :Pioneer Woman

Full with Flavor

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

Image courtesy of sarabezdrob.tumblr.com

She fretted over the menu. Her thoughts like a wild rat race, should I get the salad, I could request the dressing on the side, or maybe I’ll get the grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo on a wheat bun, or maybe I could ditch the bun altogether.

“And for you maim?” the waitress tapped her pen against her notepad.

Spontaneously Alice blurted, “I’ll have the burger,” thought for a moment longer, “with fries.”

Moments later a plate loaded with all of America’s favorite sins stared Alice in the face. It had been years since she had enjoyed a burger, and as for fries, that was pure blasphemy in her book.

She bit into that burger, ketchup glazed the corner of her mouth, she closed her eyes, suddenly all the noise of the restaurant disappeared. Alice could indentify every flavor of that burger. A hint of garlic, sugary ketchup, and Dijon mustard with a subtle zest of horseradish, she sensed a quick vinegar tang from the pickle, a watery crunch of the lettuce finished with a soft white buttery bun. Fully engaged in her meal, she didn’t look up just moved onto the golden crunchy fries. The potato within the crunch mild and perfectly soft while the fried shell of this wondrous food was just hard enough. Alice enveloped each fry with an unruly amount of ketchup; she forgot how much she loved this stuff.

Finally she came up for some air.

“Now that’s a burger.” Exclaimed Alice, as she ignorantly interrupted the conversation.

The waitress made her rounds, “Everything tasting okay over here?”

“Oh yes, everything is fabulous.” She said with a mouthful.

Conversation came to a halt, all the faces around the table looked at Alice with astonishment.

Alice put out both hands in front of her, snapped her wrists with a bit of attitude and said, “So what? I liked the burger okay.”

This post was prompted by Write on Edge. We were challanged to write a piece about flavor.

Motherhood: It's mostly about Poop

2012-01-12T15:29:00.002-07:00

As my husband and I decided we wanted a family I was little worried I had never been much a kid person, but when Milly arrived I immediately fell in love and have since thought, maybe I am a kid person after all. Yet almost two years into this ordeal I now know what I should have asked myself is, Am I a poop person? Someone should have given me an interview and asked questions such as, Are you good with poop? Do you like poop? Are you willing to detail your child’s bowel movements to friends and doctors? Are you excited about the idea of cleaning up poop in the middle of the night, or on long road trips? I would have likely cringed and said, NO to all of these fascinating inquiries.

The problem is, no one gave me that interview which is how this story came to be.

If the walls of my house could talk they would share some atrocious tales, specifically the walls of Milly’s room. Her walls may not so gently request she stop using her feces as a substitute for oil paint. Really and truly it has been one shit storm after another at this house. Last week at about 2:30 am I finally succumbed to Milly’s whining, angrily opened her door, immediately a gust of stink surrounded me. I found a baby who had taken the poop out of her diaper smeared it through her hair, rubbed it on her face. Did I forget to tell you this was not just poop, this was diarrhea. The mess covered her sheets and painted her white crib with textured brown. Mason had just returned home after being away for a couple of days, he bathed Milly right away while I handled the newly designed room and crib. Eventually my husband and I returned to bed I turned to him and said, “Welcome home honey.”

The next shit storm happened today. We have all been sick, but on the bright side Milly’s diarrhea has subsided. I put this little angel down for a nap finally after about 20 minutes I go in the room and yes just as you suspected my little Van Gogh had been creating a masterpiece with her own feces. I plopped that stinky kid in the tub, used I don’t know how may Clorox wipes ridding the crib and the wall of her art. The sheets off, new sheets on… you know the drill, and I wish I didn’t have to know it so well.

A few days prior my little helper reached down took a turd out of her diaper and handed it to me. She is simply fascinated by this brown stuff she continues to create.

The moral of the story is if you like a little poop under your fingernails from time to time I would say, yes, you are the perfect candidate for parenthood.