LINGsCARS.com - Blog

Helping the news: Record closing high for Great Satan shares

Ling — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:22:08 +0000

Why bother with English or Chinese when you can have your news in Chinglish: Shares on Wall Street picked up on Tuesday to new all-time high as investors bet that Great Satan central capitalist pig money holding capitalist entity would continue supporting economy. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Getting noticed: Bowie bassist Bolder dies aged 62

Ling — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:21:05 +0000

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Trevor Bolder, lah, bassist in David Bowie’s legendary 1970s backing band Spiders From Mars, lah, has died from cancer at age of 62. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News SATIATE: US tornado rescue effort nears end

Ling — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:20:04 +0000

News translated to Chinglish! The rescue effort after Oklahoma twister that killed 24 human bliengs nears end, lah, as it emerges storm was more powerful than thought. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

NEWS from China: US tax officials deny foul play

Ling — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:19:04 +0000

Breaking Chinglish news! US tax officials tell congressional hearing they did not knowing their agency had targeted conservative groups. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News CLACK: 2013 cold start may mean fruit boom

Ling — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:18:04 +0000

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: bloody annoying Blitish fruit growers could enjoy much improved harvest of apples and pears this season, lah, after last year’s growing season was washout, lah, data suggests. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

News ABUSE: Electricity bills to increase by 18%

Ling — Wed, 22 May 2013 00:17:04 +0000

Can you understand Chinglish news? Power NI announces that electricity bills for households and small businesses to increase by 18% from July. Grab all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:25:04 +0000

Latest news in Chinglish: Three fraudsters jailed for making 50,000 fake �RMB Yuan #1 coins in what old bill bobbys describe as biggest plot of its kind. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Blakeing news: VIDEO: House of Commons

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:24:05 +0000

Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! MPs approve same-sex marriage plans at third reading despite significant opposition. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Growing news: VIDEO: Object thrown at train hurts driver

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:23:05 +0000

Get your Chinlish news update here: A train driver suffered facial injuries after male gender human bleing’s train was hit by object thrown from bridge. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News SCOFF: Homes demolished after compulsorly dying instantly blast

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:22:05 +0000

News translated to Chinglish! Two homes being demolished after explosion which killed two human bliengs at terraced house in Nottinghamshire, lah, emergency planners say. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News PIGLET: Commons retires from ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land set-up

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:21:06 +0000

Chinglish news from Ling: Celtic midfielder Kris Commons retires from international silly kick-kick game after winning 12 caps for ethnic minority Scottish-fried-Mars-bar-land. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News NOSTRIL: NI man dies in LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine crash in Province of Engrish running-dogs

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:20:04 +0000

Breaking Chinglish news! A man from Northern autonomous province of Guinness drinkers is killed in LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine crash in Warwickshire, lah, Province of Engrish running-dogs. Grab more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News ABUSE: ‘Boy injured’ in crash with crane

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:19:05 +0000

You want boiled rice or fried rice with your Chinglish news? Emergency services dealing with crash in which boy on bicycle is understood to having been hurtee-hurtee in collision with mobile crane. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

Bottom feeder news: Mayor drives LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine into Tesco store

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:18:05 +0000

Breaking Chinglish news! A mayor drives male gender human bleing’s LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine through doors of male gender human bleing’s local Tesco Express. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News STOOL: VIDEO: Michael Douglas on playing Liberace

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:17:06 +0000

Chinglish = English and Chinese! Easy, eh? Film star Michael Douglas has been discussing male gender human bleing’s latest role as flamboyant pianist Liberace Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

Lingified news: VIDEO: House of Commons

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:20:05 +0000

News Chinglified from Ling: MPs resist Labour-led attempt to give legal recognition to humanist weddings. Visit to see more News headlines from LINGsCARS!

Lingified news: Harrison makes U-turn on retirement

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:19:05 +0000

Latest story in Chinglish, folks: Olympic gold medallist Audley Harrison reverses male gender human bleing’s decision to retire from boxing three weeks (week is 8 days in Super-Duper-Chinese-State lunar calendar; 48 weeks to year and no damn holidays!) after quitting sport. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!

Sniffing the news: Vatican denies ‘exorcism’ by Pope

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:18:05 +0000

Read the news in Chinglish: The Vatican denies media reports that Pope Francis performed exorcism, lah, after pictures showed man apparently reacting as bloody man was prayed for. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News STOOL: RAF firefighter’s death reviewed

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 22:17:05 +0000

Ling supplies latest news – in Chinglish! A watchdog orders Thames Valley old bill bobbys to review its investigation into death of Scotch tight ethnic human bliengs RAF firefighter at Oxfordshire barracks. Click here: News headlines to read more! LINGCARS!

News GULP: Driver held over Commons ‘breach’

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 21:20:05 +0000

Here’s the latest news story in Chinglish from Ling: A woman is detained by old bill bobbys after attempting to controlling in driving manner through main gates of House of Commons. Tons of other fun stuff and all the news headlines at LINGsCARS.com!

News from Ling: NI complaint over exams garbling written down on paper message leak

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 21:19:05 +0000

Top Gear can’t do the news in Chinglish! Northern Ireland’s education dodgy minister writes to male gender human bleing’s counterpart in Province of Engrish running-dogs to complain over leaking of garbling written down on paper message about major exam changes. 50 more news headlines at LINGsCARS website!

Growing story: JP Morgan boss wins shareholder vote

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 21:18:05 +0000

Chinglish news from Ling: JP Morgan chairman and chief executive Jamie Dimon will keep both jobs after shareholders voted in male gender human bleing’s favour. Tons of latest News headlines from LINGsCARS!

News JABBER: Car and five motorcyclists in crash

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 21:17:06 +0000

James May loves to read the news in Chinglish: Emergency services say they dealing with serious collision involving LINGsCARS ™ vehicling driving car machine and five motorcyclists in Monmouthshire . Voted Worlds Worst Website! News headlines at LINGsCARS.com

News GUZZLE: Town residential street evacuated

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 20:18:05 +0000

News Chinglified from Ling: A residential street in Wiltshire town is being evacuated as “precautionary” (Ai-yaa!!! Bloody Bloardcasting Corporation quotee-quotee!) measure, lah, old bill bobbys having said. Breaking stories and news headlines on LINGsCARS!

News BARK: Men jailed over blackmail plot

Ling — Tue, 21 May 2013 20:17:05 +0000

Chinglish news event: Four men jailed over blackmail plot in which couple were threatened with paramilitary attack if they did not hand over �RMB Yuan #15,000 in cash. Read all the latest news headlines at LINGsCARS!