Linguist Ashley

Wytchfire is out!

2014-06-25T10:16:00.000+09:00

At Ball State I worked with a number of people far more creative than I could ever hope to be. Without a doubt, the one who gave me the most Little Debbie snacks was Mike Meyerhofer, an accomplished poet, fiction writer and memoirist. Knowing I'm a fan of the fantasy genre, Mike let me read his works-in-progress. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my friend's books as much as I enjoy reading George R.R. Martin, Jane Yolen, and Ursula LeGuin. In fact, I consider The Dragonkin Trilogy superior to many successful fantasy books. You can read my review of an earlier copy of Wytchfire here.

This summer, Wytchfire opened to universal acclaim. You can purchase a Kindle copy from Amazon, a NOOK copy from Barnes & Noble, or a Kobo.

Before you buy, check out the Prologue below. (Last word: I LOVE Fadarah.)

Prologue

Fadarah turned his tattooed face toward the granite walls of Syros, greatest of the Free Cities of the Simurgh Plains. He held the reins of his horse in one fist as he settled back in the saddle and took in the sight. Mid-morning light crested the city’s crenellated battlements, shone through its white banners sewn with crossed longbows, and cast long, taut shadows over a forest made not from trees but from the raised arms of trebuchets. The sun burned in Fadarah’s eyes, but he did not blink. He was, after all, a Shel’ai. What was the sun, if not fire?

But the soldiers arrayed in vast columns behind him were Human, and they winced as the sun climbed higher into the clear, cloudless sky, blazing in their faces. Those men knew what all good fighters had known since the dawn of time—to fight with the sun in your face was madness. Courage and armor meant nothing if you could not see.

Still, when Fadarah ordered them forward, the Throng obeyed without question. They had nothing to fear from Syros’s archers and murder-holes, her broad battlements and stout, sealed gates. No, the Nightmare would take care of those.

Fadarah removed his gauntlets with deliberate slowness. Then he raised one fist and loosened his fingers. Tendrils of wytchfire burst to life above his open palm. The violet flames coursed the length of his arm. He felt a familiar, roiling heat. Though it titillated his senses, it left him unharmed. Those soldiers closest to him were merely Human, though. They blanched and drew away, already perspiring from heat as much as fear.

Concealing a smirk, Fadarah shouted, “Send forth my Nightmare!”

Fadarah rose, standing in the saddle of his huge, oxblood-colored horse. Even without his armor and the wytchfire coursing from his fingers, men might have fled at the sight of him. He stood at least seven feet tall, broad shouldered and muscled like an Olg, with intricate blue tattoos covering his arms and shaven head.

As his order took effect, his men reacted uneasily. Twenty thousand strong, bristling with spears and drawn blades, and clad in armor, they still feared magic. They feared Fadarah. But more than him, they feared the Nightmare.

Fadarah could not blame them. He feared it, too.

He closed his fist, extinguishing the wytchfire, then seized the reins of his horse so his soldiers would not see his hands shake when the Nightmare came forward. Even after so much time, even knowing that the Nightmare had once been a man—a friend—Fadarah could not entirely quench his fear. He clenched the reins of his horse until his knuckles turned white as the pupils of his eyes. Despite the bloodmare’s training, the horse would have panicked had Fadarah not sent a paralyzing jolt of magic into the beast’s mind.

Pity no one can do that for me. The Nightmare drew closer.

Fadarah heard shouting, even weeping, and sensed a wave of terror rolling through the ranks of his usually well-disciplined army. The men of the Throng had all seen the Nightmare at least once; many of them were Nightmare’s ragged, wheezing breath filled the air, scalding it with heat as from a blacksmith’s bellows. The beast faced the sunlit city. The harsh breathing grew louder, resounding with some awful sense of anticipation, like an attack dog anxious to slip its leash. For a long time, nothing moved. Then, Fadarah gave the order. The Shel’ai released their mental control. The leash came off.

Cries of panic spread across the high stone walls of Syros. Some of the city’s defenders fled and dropped their weapons, abandoning their posts. Others found their courage and leapt into action. The Nightmare closed to within bow-range. Along the granite walls, hundreds of bowstrings shuddered. A broad, dark cloud rose against the sun.

The cloud bristled with enough arrows to shred an entire battalion of horsemen. Yet not one of them hit its mark. Hundreds of wooden shafts burst to cinders just before they might have struck, ignited by the intense heat rising in waves off the Nightmare’s body.

Barreling through a blizzard of ash, the Nightmare continued its charge.

Syros’s archers admirably managed three more volleys, but even their final, closest volley burst to cinders. Then, they did something even Fadarah had not anticipated.

All along the walls, men tipped great, sloshing cauldrons over the battlements. Water fell in fast, clear braids, flooding the plains at the base of the walls, transforming the earth into a swamp.

Fadarah smiled. “Clever,” he admitted grudgingly.

The Nightmare hurtled forward. Its burning body met water, and steam rose in thick, gray clouds. For a moment, fog swallowed the high walls of Syros. Even the flaming Nightmare momentarily vanished in the hissing mist.

Fadarah heard cries of alarm, different from what he had heard before, and tensed. He used his magic to heighten his senses and extended his mind into the ranks behind him. He saw the problem right away. None of the conquered cities had ever tried this tactic before. The soldiers of the Throng feared it might work. With the Nightmare gone, they might have to fight with the sun in their eyes after all.

Then they heard the sounds. They echoed across the Simurgh Plains. Screams. The crack of ancient granite. The great shudder caused by tons of stone tumbling to earth. Then more screams.

Gods forgive us. Although the fog blocked Fadarah’s sight, he could guess what was happening. He thrust his two-handed sword toward the sky. Sunrise flashed down its steely face like blood.

“The walls are breached! Syros has fallen!” He pointed his blade at the city. “Follow me!”

Raw exhilaration flooded his body. He led the charge himself. The army hesitated only a moment then roared to life and streamed after him. Cavalry, pikemen, archers. Shel’ai. All followed the Sorcerer-General as he rode toward the fog-shrouded city. Then the mist parted.

Syros’s entire central wall was gone. Broken, blasted stones littered the plains. The gates had been reduced to puddles of wet ash. Dead men scattered the earth: archers, men-at-arms, Syros’s reserves. Horns blared frantic declarations of surrender from the sections of wall left intact. No one had the heart to fight. Left with no option, armed men threw down their swords and surrendered, half expecting the Throng to cut them down anyway.

They didn’t.

With the Nightmare gone—vanished—and the walls breached, Fadarah’s soldiers greeted the survivors with pity. Throng captains sheathed their weapons and coordinated efforts to aid the injured, to prevent widespread rape and murder. They did not do this out of some rare inclination toward compassion; they were simply following Fadarah’s orders.

Fadarah himself took no part in this. Instead, he watched as the twelve Shel’ai emerged, exhausted, from the ruins and fog. Dust and blood stained their bone-white cloaks, but their hoods were still drawn closed. It would not do for Humans to see the expression on their faces. But the men of the Throng were too busy looting or tending to injured, shocked prisoners to pay much attention to the twelve Shel’ai. So no Human saw what Fadarah saw: a thirteenth cloaked figure slumped amid the others, supported on each arm by one of the twelve. Iventine...

“Take him back to the camp. Hide him. Let me know if his condition worsens.”

The other Shel’ai nodded, too tired to speak. As they passed, Fadarah caught a brief glimpse of Iventine’s face. Ghastly, sunken cheeks. Wild, blood-shot eyes. He turned away.

By the time the Sorcerer-General retired to his tent, the sun was setting. He had sheathed his greatsword, for he no longer had the strength to hold it, but he took care to stand upright and breathe easily before his Human servants. He calmly accepted a goblet of cool wine then dispassionately ordered them away. When they were gone, he slumped into a chair. The ominous armor that made him look so imposing weighed him down incredibly, much too heavy for a Sylv.

But I am not a Sylv. They made that clear. He touched the tapered points of his ears. Then he attacked the complicated lattice of straps and buckles holding his armor in place, casting it piece by piece to the ground. This morning, he had watched in the mirror as his servants helped him don his plate mail: breast and backplates, pauldrons, gauntlets, greaves, and other pieces he could not name. The mirror had been left in place. Fadarah used it and removed the armor by himself. Doing so took a long time, but with each piece that fell, relief flooded his limbs. Half done, Fadarah flexed his fingers and massaged one sore shoulder. Then he studied his reflection. The Sorcerer-General’s expression turned bitter.

The same blue tattoos that covered Fadarah’s face and hands also covered the rest of his body, which was thickly muscled, as his father’s must have been.

My father. Fadarah grinned sardonically.

His mother had been Wyldkin, one of those few renegade Sylv who lived beyond the majestic forests surrounding the World Tree—not because they were forced to, like those born with the dragonmist, but because they wanted to. She and her husband made their home somewhere between Sylvos and the land of the Olgrym. What exactly happened next, Fadarah did not know. But he could guess.

Wyldkin often ran from Olgrym, but sometimes they were caught anyway. The Olgrym must have slaughtered his mother’s husband. Fadarah imagined them torturing him before devouring him raw. But that was nothing compared to what they did to his mother.

Fadarah shuddered. The Sylvs still told stories of female Wyldkin who kept small knives sheathed on the inside of a thigh—not for fighting but for slitting their own throats if the only other option was being taken prisoner by Olgrym. Fadarah did not know if his mother had carried such a knife, but he often thought that if she had, she should have used it.

True, he barely remembered her, but his mother must have been strong. She’d survived the Olgrym, hadn’t she? She even escaped and returned to the Sylvs. There she gave birth—not to the child of her husband, the Sylvan baby she must have prayed was growing inside her—but to a brute. A half-Olg. Worse, he had the dragonmist in his eyes!

An abomination on two fronts.

Fadarah shook his head. His mother might have killed him to spare her own disgrace; she didn’t. They lived in Sylvos instead, alongside the Sylvs. But even as a child, Fadarah sensed their suspicion. Their hatred. He sensed how it all must end.

Fadarah winced. He shook himself and then drew his sword. A fine length of exquisite kingsteel, fixed to a handle wrought of dragonbone. Many times, Fadarah had considered falling on it, just to end his torment. But that time, he quickly cast the sword aside. He knew he could not do that. His people needed him. Not the Sylvs, not the Olgrym, but the Shel’ai.

“My... people.”

Fadarah laughed. He laughed for a long time. Then he wept. He pressed one hand to his mouth, not wanting anyone to hear. Still, his tattooed body jerked as though he were being stabbed.

Feedback from the Teachers - Summer 2014

2014-06-24T14:12:00.001+09:00

I'm a teacher trainer for Seoul's public schools, and recently I have been getting amazing feedback. There's nothing like knowing your work makes a difference.

The evaluations included a cartoon version of myself, created by my coworker Lauren Price. This helps the trainees place names with faces.

Here are evaluations from a workshop on creating a learner-centered classroom:

These are the evaluations from a workshop on using literature in the EFL/ESL classroom:

I love my job.

Book review: Wytchfire by Michael Meyerhofer

2013-01-30T01:01:00.000+09:00

If you are sick of waiting for George R.R. Martin to finish A Song of Ice and Fire, I recommend Wytchfire, the first in a planned series of fantasy novels by Michael Meyerhofer. With strong, multidimensional characters and a conscientious inclusion of groups not often seen in the fantasy genre, Wytchfire succeeds at telling an exciting, page-turning yarn without ever feeling like a guilty pleasure.

Wytchfire is set in a complex fantasy world with elements of King Arthur myths, Japanese feudal period fantasy, and Dungeons & Dragons. The story opens as the main character (with his sexy protagonist name: Rowen Locke) leaves the Lotus Isles, having failed to become a Knight. The Isles are a sort of academy for Knights in training and failure is a major theme throughout the book--particularly poignant during this Great Recession.

The first part of the book resembles Robert E. Howard's Conan the Cimmerian stories in that the main character is a sell-sword concerned with little but his next meal and mug of ale. This freewheeling hundred-or-so pages, though light on plot, were my favorite part of the book. Meyerhofer uses Rowen's homelessness to explore his rich fantasy world; the scenes feel episodic and lightly connected in the tradition of the early twentieth century weird tales.

Soon, the plot kicks in. A huge horde of sorcerers and mercenaries is devastating one city after the other, led by a half-orc half-elf caster whose entire muscled body is covered in tattooed glyphs. His name is Fadarah, which means father. Sounds like the best D&D character ever, right? This antagonist serves as a sort of Magneto for the misunderstood, outcast mages. He adds a level of badass to every chapter he's in and serves as the novel's Big Bad, but like Magneto he has a woobie backstory that endeared his cause to me.

Despite some parts' freewheeling feel and the world's expansiveness, the book is tightly plotted. The last third of novel abounds in twists which I usually did not see coming. Meyerhofer follows the logic of Chekov's gun. (To avoid spoilers, don't look up that reference before reading Wytchfire.)

Meyerhofer's prose is simple enough for the YA crowd but can still entertain this over-thirty fantasy fan. In many ways Wytchfire's prose is better than the later George R.R. Martin novels: Meyerhofer doesn't repeat a single thought through his characters' minds ad nauseum, unlike Martin. At some parts the way Meyerhofer informs us of a character's homosexuality or sexual enslavement to another were subtle enough for Hays Code-era Hollywood. I thought the writing would be improved through a blanket moratorium on exclamation marks, and my Kindle edition had a few typos ("dragonkinDragonkin") but otherwise the novel is well-written.

The fantasy and sci fi genres have become increasingly diversified since the all-white and mostly-male worlds of J.R.R. Tolkien and T.H. White, and it is now customary to include earthly races within the fantasy human race (e.g., George R.R. Martin's inhabitants of the Summer Isles, Orson Scott Card's planets of earthly ethnicities, and Skyrim's Redguard). Meyerhofer makes a point of including the diversity of this world within his fantastical one. Characters entering Wytchfire through Meyerhofer's equal opportunity policy include a female Asian knight, an obese Black merchant, and a homosexual dwarf sellsword. Wytchfire includes the types of characters that should be included in all depictions of fantasy.

Actually, Meyerhofer's commitment to social issues extends beyond populating his novel with underrepresented groups. A major theme running throughout the novel is the abhorrence of rape. At one point Fadarah, the Big Bad, stops a rape in progress. (Ah, Fadarah. If there's any justice in the world we'll see some Wytchfire shipping soon.) Meyerhofer hints throughout the book that the sexual enslavement of children is widespread in the world of Wytchfire. The novel never glamorizes rape nor uses it to comic purposes; within the novel, as with life, it is a violent act which forever scars its victims. Meyerhofer's treatment of sexual violence is another reason Wytchfire never felt like a guilty read, but a feminist take on violence told from a male perspective.

Wytchfire occupies the same space in the fantasy hierarchy as Tad Williams' best novels: deeply fantastical, they reflect elements of our world while still providing an escape. Like Williams' works, it probably won't convert someone who isn't already a fan of the genre. For veterans of fantasy novels or games, Wytchfire is a satisfying read: a complex land populated by interesting characters. I'm looking forward to the second in the trilogy.

Wytchfire by Michael Meyerhofer: ★★★★★
Read it or read the first chapter by clicking here.

Japan Part 1: Tsushima Island

2012-12-25T17:08:00.002+09:00

PREAMBLE: APOLOGY

I'm sorry that I haven't updated this blog in so long. The Mr. and I moved from Dongtan to Seoul. We now live near Sadang station in Seocho-gu. I'm sure you've never heard of Seocho. It's about 10 minutes away from Gangnam-gu, which you surely have heard of.

You know how people from suburbs tell people they're from the nearby big city? The Mr. and some of our neighbors tell people we live in Gangnam. I do not like doing that. People think it's so affluent. It's like saying you live in Beverly Hills when you really live in Culver City.

Anyways ... I'd like to write about Japan. The Mr. and I together have now been to Tsushima Island and the Osaka-Kyoto area together. This will be a two-part blog post.

Tl;dr version: The people are nice but Japan's just too expensive.

TSUSHIMA ISLAND

In May we went to Tsushima Island over a long weekend, taking a train to Busan and then a ferry to Tsushima. The ferry made me physically ill. As my husband used his conversational Korean to make friends and drink soju and eat dried squid, I quietly vomited into the available bags. Other passengers were also sick, sitting on the floor of the ferry and appearing to nurse migraines. I hate ferries.

This was our first view of Izuhara, the southern city you sail into from Busan:

Izuhara port

Tsushima was absolutely worth the sea sickness. 90% forest, Tsushima is a verdant, peaceful island with friendly people who said "Ohio gosaimas!" to everyone they pass. It is also a picturesque slice of Japan at a fraction of the cost.

Torii in Izuhara

In Izuhara, we found a gorgeous Shinto shrine. I've been to Japan three times now, and Shinto shrines are always my favorite thing about Japan. As a nature lover, I love the recognition that nature is our portal to the sacred and the sublime.

Shinto shrine in Izuhara

In Tsushima we saw the Japanese reverence for nature as well as the peculiar weirdness the Japanese are famous for. Here you see cartoon baseball players, the Fukuoka Hawks, on a large carton of sake. It's a particularly egregious form of marketing a vice to kids, like Joe Camel and Guinness's cute toucans.

"When I grow up, I'm going to drink the cartoons' sake!"

We ate at a small izakaya and watched a Hawks game on a little TV.

This was during my husband's muttonchops phase

Rice & vegetables

That evening the Mr. and I explored the Izuhara nightlife, which is almost nonexistant. We walked down nearly abandoned streets, catching glimpses of traditionally-clad Japanese women and Tsushima cats, both of which disappeared into doorways and darknesses before I could snap a picture.

Izuhara alley

We stayed in a very small but comfortable hotel room. We had to wake a very old woman who had trouble walking in order to get our room. Without the Mr.'s rudimentary knowledge of Japanese we would have been lost.

The Mr. and I traveled north on the highway to Hitakatsu, the port which brings you back to Busan. The highway from the southern part of the island to the north is incredibly picturesque.

The pristine middle part of Tsushima

In Hitakatsu, we had trouble finding a hotel room. All the rooms had already been reserved. We had a problem, but the locals were incredibly helpful. After intense discussion which the Mr. and I couldn't follow, one called her friend, Mitsugi Tsuji, and we stayed at his B&B in a tatami mat room.

Tsuji-san's house

Linguist Ashley enjoying the view from our room

We loved Tsuji-san. He entertained us, fed us, and sheltered us for 24 hours for only 10,000 yen. He took us "shopping", driving around the town to his fishermen friends and picking up fresh seafood and steaks for our yakiniku dinner. Afterwards Tsuji-san left the scraps out for the hawks to feast on.

Outdoor yakiniku

We watched sumo matches on his TV and talked as best we could (he speaks a little English) until it was time for sleep. In the morning we had one of the most delicious and filling breakfasts I've ever had in my life.

Coffee, tofu, sausages, fish, egg, tomato, salad, miso and rice

On the second day Mitsugi Tsuji took us around the northern part of Tsushima sightseeing. We went to a lookout spot where you can see Busan on a clear day, then a forest hike, and finally to a local park where he is employed as a caretaker.

A forest path leading to a waterfall

The lookout point

Mitsugi Tsuji's B&B ranks as probably our favorite B&B ever. If you are ever in Hitakatsu ask the locals if they know his phone number. Try to stay with him. You won't be sorry.

Mitsugi Tsuji and the Mr.

The Mr. and I speak of Tsushima with reverence. We loved it. We thought that since we had such a great and affordable time in Tsushima, we would also love the rest of Japan. To be continued ...

Mitsugi Tsuji's B&B: ★★★★★

부대찌개, army stew

2012-03-23T22:09:00.000+09:00

Today I'm going to blog about 부대찌개, Korea's famous "army stew."

During the Korean War, times were tough. Think of all the carnage of the American Civil War, but taking place in a place the size of a medium-size state (like Indiana). I mean, it was awful. People were starving.

The US army had (and still has) a very big army base in a place called 의정부 (Uijeongbu), just north of Seoul (and today lying inside the greater Seoul Metropolitan area). You may have heard of it because it's where M*A*S*H took place. The UN soldiers had plenty of canned meat. The people of 의정부 would get their hands on some spam or hot dogs and prepare it in a very Korean way. They would add water to it and simmer with whatever else they had: ramen noodles, kimchi, other vegetables, and/or spicy chili paste. They called it "army base stew." 찌개 is stew and 부대 means army base. This Korean dish, made out of leftover army rations ad created out of desperation, gained in popularity after the war.

This is a picture of the 부대찌개 served near our place in Dongtan.

부대찌개

It's good and affordable. Plus they have this sweet tree all covered in lights in the restaurant.

Sweet tree.

If you want to try 부대찌개 in 동탄, I recommend this place. It's really good.

View Budae Jjigae in Dongtan in a larger map

Eating intestines

2012-03-21T23:57:00.000+09:00

Dongtan has more restaurants specializing in intestines than I have ever seen. No other place in Korea is this obsessed with organ meat. In this blog post you will learn how to identify which restaurants will serve you intestines. You can then avoid them, or try it. I recommend avoiding it.

Tl;dr: If you see a restaurant that says it specialize in 곱창, do not eat there. Unless you want intestines.

곱창 = intestines

But here's the tricky bit: 양, while technically meaning sheep, pretty much also means intestines. My husband and I love mutton. I recognized the word 양 and I told him we could have mutton. The restaurant was full of happy Koreans. We tend to think a full restaurant is a good restaurant. Spoiler alert: We were wrong.

So I order some 양 and they bring us this side dish:

Tripe and liver. Served cold and disgusting.

We had no idea. I mean, I figured the red bloody stuff was liver. I tried it. I didn't gag or anything, but I only had one. We didn't know what the grey stuff on the left was. I guessed shark's skin. It's actually tripe. Basically, the second or third stomach of a cow or sheep. It's one of the parts they probably grind up for that $1.99 ground beef manager's special. I didn't eat the tripe. It felt like it would take a lot of chewing.

They also served us 번데기, silkworm larvae. The Mr. ate almost the whole bowl, so it must have been good. Korean children like to eat them as an after-school snack. I ate one. I thought the taste was musty, like eating a cobweb.

So we weren't happy with the side dishes, but, we thought, no one can screw up mutton. Then they brought out the mutton.

It's mutton, but it's not the right part.

I couldn't even understand what part of the sheep it was. It certainly wasn't the delicious part the Irish put in stews, or the soft beefy part the Brazilians roast. We ate it, even though what looked like fat was exploding out of the pieces of meat on the grill.

So a piece of 양곱창 is complicated. I didn't know it, but it's the intestines cut into bite-sized pieces. Cholesterol spills out of in white puffs. After it cooks for a REALLY long time (you do NOT want to eat undercooked poop tubes), you dip it into some of the sauces on the table. To be honest, the cholesterol is delectable. But it dissolves on your tongue quickly, and you're left with the organ itself. It's chewy, and if they didn't clean it thoroughly enough, EEEWWW UGH I don't even want to think about it.

The Mr. didn't like the 곱창 as much as I did, and I could only sort of tolerate it. We paid, were unhappy with our meal, and vowed to never eat at that restaurant again. Additionally, we agreed not to order 양 in Korea. I still didn't know what I should have known ...

A few days later we were trying to find a restaurant. Because the Mr. works so late, our choices of restaurants are somewhat limited. We found an open restaurant. I did NOT order 양. I would never. I mean, tripe, people. We were tired and hungry. I just ordered their specialty.

And OH MY GOD THEY BROUGHT US INTESTINES.

I had not ordered 양. In fact, there were pictures of cows all over the restaurant. I had stupidly ordered 소곱창, cow intestines.

So the moral of the story is: 곱창 means intestines. Don't order that.

Obviously I'm too squeamish to get into 곱창, but a number of bloggers and several of my adult students tell me they love it. Other people say that because it is expensive, people eat it just to be extravagant. Apparently having the smell of 곱창 on your clothes is a sign of affluence. If you are adventurous, go ahead, try it. But don't say I didn't warn you.

All restaurants in Dongtan serving 곱창: No stars. For shame.

Places to drink in Dongtan: Munchen Ice Pub ★★★★

2012-03-17T13:10:00.000+09:00

Many late-night establishments (like Boss BBQ) insist that patrons order food with their alcohol. But sometimes you don't want grease to dilute the healing magic of fermented sub-nutrition. That's when you need to go to a place where you can just drink. That's why I have this series: Places to Drink in Dongtan.

This series is specifically targeted to the sloppy, drinking masses. You know who you are.

The first place I would like to recommend to you is Munchen Ice Pub. Its name is good for practicing reading Korean. Actually, I would probably not have figured out that 뮌헨 is Munchen if it weren't printed on the windows. But ice has three syllables. That's easy.

뮌헨 아이스 펍

Munchen Ice Pub

Munchen Ice Pub has one thing that raises it above the other drinking establishments: pints made out of ice that you can then throw at a target. Yes, that's right. Drinking is finally a real sport.

So this is a pint made out of ice.

Ice pint filled with rice beer

Now, I am aware that beer served ice cold disguises the flavor, but when it comes to Korean lager made out of rice, that's probably for the best.

So you drink your cold beer. Then, you stand behind a line drawn on the floor, and throw your ice mug at a target.

Like so.

The Mr. throwing his ice stein at the target

If you hit the target, you get a prize. Prizes range from 30,000 ₩ to a free beer. It's fun. It's just a splash at carnival games. Plus, it's hard. I've been there three times and I've yet to see anyone hit it.

If you do choose to eat at Munchen Ice Pub, you should know that the food is edible, but not memorable. Everything is, indeed, food, but it's overpriced and not very delicious. I recommend eating elsewhere.

The seafood noodle dish, inspired by Japanese cuisine, is good, but it's greasy. The Mr. and I liked it.

Seafood noodle dish at Munchen Ice Pub

But we also tried a salad which was not good. The salad is fried chicken and fruit on a bed of iceberg lettuce, drowned in sweet dressing. The dressing is completely unnecessary on the fruit. They should put the dressing on the lettuce and serve the fruit unmolested on the side.

Salad

So, do not eat at Munchen Ice Pub. Drink there, throw your pint at the wall, and have a merry time.

Munchen Ice Pub drinking: ★★★★
Munchen Ice Pub food: ★★

New job!

2012-03-12T12:43:00.000+09:00

I have begun my new job as a teacher trainer for Seoul public schools, and I love it. I'm at the Seoul Education Training Institute, which is near Sadang and Bangbae stations in southern Seoul. I have a beautiful, big apartment and a very nice desk in the administration building. We're currently teaching a Travel English course to school administrators planning a business trip to Singapore. Today I'm teaching them English for the airplane. I made them a little boarding pass. Also, I just finished editing a teenage paranormal romance novel called Soul Thief. I'm excited for its release! You can buy it on Kindle, or pre-order a hardcover. I hope to continue posting about the Korean language and living in Dongtan soon. Thanks for reading, and thanks for your patience! -Linguist Ashley

Boss BBQ ★★★★

2012-02-22T13:04:00.001+09:00

Next to Central Park is a vibrant neighborhood with bars, restaurants, PC bangs (internet cafes), and even an animal hospital. Because the Mr. teaches at a private school until 10pm, and then often grades until 11pm, we have to eat at places that stay open late.

One of our favorite late-night spots is Boss BBQ. They specialize in chicken and beer. You can get 3000 cc of Cass (a Korean lager that has become more popular than Hite) for only 14,000₩. That's equal to about 8 bottles of beer. If that's too much, you can get 2000 cc for 10,000₩. Either way, it's a steal.

But Boss BBQ doesn't want you to drink without eating. It's not allowed. So you can order their specialty, chicken.

Their menu is very foreigner-friendly. It has pictures you can point at. If you read Hangeul (like you really should! It's super easy to learn) you will be sitting pretty.

One of their specialties at Boss BBQ is boneless fried chicken in a sweet sauce. It's a lot like the General Tso's chicken that you can get at Chinese buffets in the US. And it's delish, but definitely not healthy.

Boss BBQ's boneless fried chicken

Perhaps because specializing in beer and chicken is not a totally healthy lifestyle choice, Boss BBQ serves salad as a side dish with every meal. You can get free refills of your salad.

Boss BBQ also has more Korean-style chicken. This dish is an entire chopped chicken (bones in) simmered with vegetables. It is probably healthier than the dish above because it's not fried and it had vegetables. Also, the parts of the chicken were recognizable, so you know what you're eating. ("Found the neck!") It wasn't as delicious, though.

An entire chopped chicken with vegetables

For a place that specializes in chicken, it's strange that the Mr. and I like their non-chicken dishes better. Boss BBQ serves a mean budaejjigae (army stew), served with loads of mushrooms, sprouts and hot dogs. The Mr. also likes their fruit plate.

Gloss:

부대 찌개

army base stew

부대찌개 and fruit plate at Boss BBQ

In the picture above, you can see tomatoes on the fruit plate. Yes, tomatoes are technically fruit, but Westerners typically treat them as vegetables, serving them in savory dishes. Koreans treat tomatoes as fruit. They are served on top of cake, along with grapes and kiwis. I even got tomatoes with some chocolate fondue once. Linguist Ashley does not recommend tomatoes dipped in chocolate.

We like Boss BBQ because it's open late, the food is good, and the beer is cheap. As if that wasn't good enough, the old man who runs it is super-nice. Last night we asked him for some rice to go with our budaejjigae. He didn't have any, so he ran to the convenience store and came back with a microwaved plastic container of white rice. He gave it to us as service. Koreans sometimes give customers a freebie, called service, to inspire customer loyalty. Then the old man went back to his booth, eating chicken and drinking soju with a shotglass. We love him.

The final reason we like Boss BBQ is that it's not obnoxiously busy. The music isn't too loud, it's not too noisy or too smoky, and the clientele is less drunk than at other places. It's a classy drinking establishment.

Our only real problem with Boss BBQ is that we tend to go to Boss BBQ too often.

Boss BBQ: ★★★★

A star is deducted because not all dishes are as delicious as the fried chicken and budaejjigae, but it definitely beats Kkanbu Chicken.

View Boss BBQ in a larger map

My Oscar Predictions 2012/Analysis of Best Song Category

2012-02-21T12:31:00.002+09:00

Last year I predicted more Oscar winners than anyone else at the Oscar viewing party. Prepare to be devastated once again, Muncie. Ladies, place your bets.

BEST PICTURE The Artist

BEST DIRECTOR Michel Hazanavicius

BEST ACTOR Jean Dujardin

BEST ACTRESS Viola Davis

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR Christopher Plummer

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS Octavia Spencer

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY Midnight in Paris

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY The Descendants

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM A Separation

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE Rango

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY The Tree of Life

BEST FILM EDITING The Artist

BEST ART DIRECTION Hugo

BEST COSTUME DESIGN Hugo

BEST ORIGINAL SONG Man or Muppet

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE The Artist

BEST SOUND MIXING Hugo

BEST SOUND EDITING Hugo

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS Rise of the Planet of the Apes

BEST MAKEUP The Iron Lady
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

BEST ANIMATED SHORT Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT The Shore

I am certain about the first 9 predictions. I made a lot of these guesses based on other critics' predictions; obviously this is how I guessed the shorts and best doc. I've seen most of the others or read tons of reviews about them.

The most interesting category this year, for me, is Best Song. I really don't know which one the Academy will go for. I love the fact that one-half of Flight of the Conchords could win an Oscar. Plus, it's a great song. The first time I listened to it, I went around singing it all day. (The Mr.: "What the hell are you singing?") It's sweetly ridiculous and I love how it skewers the usual grand, soaring vocals that the Oscars famously reward (e.g., "My Heart Will Go On", "Beauty and the Beast", "Can You Feel the Love Tonight").

On the other hand, "Real in Rio" has a lot of features that the Academy has awarded in the past. It has a World Music beat that takes off at a sprint, like "Jai Ho" and "Under the Sea". It also has rap, like previous winners "Lose Yourself" and "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp". I like the choir and the Brazilian beat. It's not bad.

I'm placing my bets on "Man or Muppet" because I think it is the better song. I would love to see a song that perfectly balances satire and sincerity win. This is the category I'm really excited about.

A lot of people are bitching about there only being 2 nominated songs in this category. My response is: At least they are good songs. Here's a list of bad songs that have won: both winners by Randy Newman, "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp", "Al otro lado del río", "I Need to Wake Up", "Falling Slowly" . . . At least both songs this year are good. I'd rather have two good songs than 5 crappy Billboard rejects.

*UPDATE: I got 17/23 predictions correct, including Best Song. I'm so awesome.

Noryangjin Fish Market

2012-02-13T23:34:00.001+09:00

The Mr. and I went to Seoul. We ate at a big fish market called Noryangjin.

This is probably less than half of it.

The smell was mighty.

We bought a king crab. They gave us some jumbo shrimp as "service", and we took it to a nearby restaurant. They cooked it for us.

It was the best crab I've ever had. The best part wasn't in the legs, but in the body of the crab. Still, it was kinda nasty to cut it open ourselves. It was like that high school biology autopsy assignment. I mean dissection. (Bad memories of a fetal pig are happening right now.)

While we were waiting for our crab, a guy started yelling at one of the women working as a cashier. He was drunk and his friends held him back. The woman who worked there tried to talk to him, but he ended up throwing a chair around. It was exciting. We were really close. It was like front-row-at-a-hockey-game exciting.

If you go to Noryangjin, try to bring a Korean or someone who speaks Korean so you can get a discount. You can really bargain with the fishmongers if you can speak the language. Also, wear clothes you don't mind getting dirty. The fishmongers wear rain boots. I got crab liquid all over me.

The Problem with Hugo

2012-02-13T23:11:00.001+09:00

~Here Be Spoilers~

I am not a machine. You cannot find the right key to make me work. You cannot use parts of me to make another person work. You cannot spend enough time on me that will make me work. Again: I am not a machine.

I just finished watching Hugo. It was a little predictable, and I didn't like that the unsavory characters had dialects associated with lower social classes than the protagonists (this is common in films; it is called dialect discrimination), but I have a huge problem with the central message of the film.

In the film, the central protagonist and titular character, Hugo, inherited an automaton (robot) from his father. (Actually, the automaton belonged to the museum the father worked for, but we'll continue in the spirit of he-who-loves-it-most-deserves-it.) He works to restore it, find its key, and make it work.

Enough with the automaton reaction shots!

What bothers me enough to write a blog entry is that the automaton becomes a metaphor for people who have issues. The former antagonist in the film, Papa Georges, makes this clear in his end speech: "Ladies and gentlemen, I ... I am standing before you tonight because of one very brave young man who saw a broken machine and against all odds, he fixed it. It was the kindest magic trick that ever I've seen." The eye contact and reaction shots make it clear that Papa Georges is the fixed machine.

I wish the film had charmed me like it did critics. I wish the moral at the end had been more complex. The simplicity of the solution--it's OK, we found his old films!--though it is historically accurate meant Papa Georges' character flaws were reducible to a single cause. If only that were true in real life! If only we all were broken birds, and all we needed was for a "very brave young man" to pay attention to us.

If you enjoyed this film, wonderful! I wish I had. I expected to like it, but there were a lot of little things that didn't add up for me, and the big message is so problematic it depresses me.

Very Delicious House: A Restaurant Review with (SPOILER!) a Surprise Ending

2012-02-09T14:45:00.000+09:00

Across the street from our apartment is a restaurant named 정말 맛있는 집, or Very Delicious House. It would stand to reason that the food purchased in this house would be very delicious.

And the Award for Best Name goes to ... 정말 맛있는 집!

Gloss:

정말 맛있는 집
Very Delicious House

But sometimes I just don't order well. I have been known to go to a steakhouse and be quite peeved about the quality of my casserole. I stubbornly ordered fish at every restaurant in Nashville before I admitted fish is not one of the South's specialties (do not speak to me of the bottom-dwelling catfish). And so it was with Very Delicious House.

With the Mr. off teaching over-schooled Korean youngsters that Columbus does not deserve a national holiday (Chungdahm's reading exercises are wonderfully revisionist), yours truly is often left by her lonesome during the hours the hagwon is open. Therefore, I must feed myself. Or, rather, I must choose a restaurant to feed me. One day, I chose Very Delicious House.

Dining alone in Korea is as awkward as dining alone in America, but choosing your restaurant well helps. Very Delicious House has booths separated by screens for optimal privacy. That way your shame can be shielded from the innocent accompanied diners. Also, Very Delicious House is, as I mentioned, across the street from my apartment. It is literally about ten yards from where I compose this blog post. Therefore it would appear to be a capitol spot to eat alone.

I took off my shoes, sat on a thin pillow on the floor, and examined the menu on the wall. Stuff was expensive. I didn't want a ₩12,000 dinner for one. I am not that extravagant. I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu: 누룽지탕, for ₩5000. I had no idea what it was, but I knew it was cheap.

The waitress brought this:

Not the 누룽지탕 I ate. Another blogger's 누룽지탕. But mine was similar.

This is just burned rice and hot water. I like rice, but I'm the kind of person who always puts something on the rice. I think it's bland by itself. Drowned in hot water without spices, vegetables, or meat it's ... well, I ordered wrong. I forced myself to eat the blandest food I have ever had in my life. I made it through the meal, paid my ₩5000, and memorized the word 누룽지 so I wouldn't order it again.

I knew the fact that I ordered something I did not like was not the restaurant's fault, so I braved going back. Very Delicious House deserved another chance at earning its name. I sat down in the same spot and carefully ordered 우거지탕. I didn't know what that was either, but it was only ₩5000 and at least I knew it wasn't 누룽지탕.

Well she brought me 누룽지탕 again.

And I was mad. I knew the two soups have similar names (nurungjitang and ugeojitang), and that she probably misheard me, or my pronunciation was too foreign. This happened in Venezuela when I ordered a mojito and I received a gin y tónico. When you speak a foreign language, your tongue becomes a giant raw potato in your mouth. But ex-pat frustrations aside, what was I going to do with this mushy rice before me?

Both times I ate at Very Delicious House I received eight colorful side dishes with my burned rice soup. This time, instead of punishing myself with rapidly-cooling watery burned rice, I mixed the spicy, flavorful side dishes (especially the kimchis and the sauces) with the rice soup. And low and behold, it was good. I ate all the rice. I asked for more side dishes.

I am now full. I have this euphoric feeling Anglophones cannot describe with an adjective. We resort to a phrase we seldom use: I have eaten well.

Although I have only had one dish at this restaurant, and the waitress misheard me (or I misspoke), and one meal was miserable, I have to give this restaurant props for breaking down the walls I erected between myself and bland well-being food. Very Delicious House changed my mind. I now understand why 누룽지 is a beloved Korean comfort food.

Very Delicious House: ★★★

View 정말 맛있는 집 (Very Delicious House) in a larger map
Make your own 누룽지탕 by following this recipe.

How to Learn to read Hangeul Part 4/4

2012-02-07T18:46:00.000+09:00

If you've gotten this far in my How to Learn Hangeul series, you are probably serious about learning to read Korean. If you've been practicing your flashcards, guess what? You already read 한글. If that was your goal, you can stop reading. You will be able to go to a Korean 레스토랑 and recognize if they serve 김치, 김밥, 라면, or 비빔밥. You'll know if a person's family name is 김, 백, or 이. You will be able to read a ton of loanwords and your time in Korea (or some city's Koreatown) will be immeasurably enhanced. You will already know more than most foreigners. In short, if you are not interested in learning to speak Korean, and only in reading, you can stop.

This post is more for people who want to speak Korean. If you want to continue your Korean studies beyond sounding out English loanwords, keep reading. In this lesson you will learn about initial devoicing (it's much more simple than it sounds) and how to pronounce some tricky final consonants. Your pronunciation of Korean will improve. In time, this knowledge will also help your listening comprehension.

Voicing and Devoicing

In an earlier post I showed a picture of your relaxed vocal cords. We need to talk about those cords some more.

I hope you are not in public, because I want you to make a z sound. Go ahead. Really. Don't whisper or it won't work. Make a loud z sound.

Now put your hand on your throat. (Trust me, this is all related to reading Korean.) Do it like this:

No manicure. No lipstick. Just phonology.

When you make a z sound, you should feel your throat vibrating. That's your vocal chords! Cool, huh? Now make an s sound. Your fingers don't vibrate. Now make a z sound again. Now they're vibrating. Switch between a z sound and an s sound. When you make a z sound, your vocal cords vibrate. They don't vibrate for an s sound.

The vibration of the vocal cords is the only difference between a z and an s. The z is voiced and s is devoiced (or voiceless). There are a few other pairs of sounds which are only distinguished by whether they are voiced or not.

Voiced Devoiced

z s

b p

d t

g k

j ch

(In English, the ch sound is not exactly a devoiced j, but we can think of it that way in order to read Korean. I'm simplifying here. Also, Korean doesn't really have a z. That's why the amusement park in Seoul, Everland, has a 주토피아. That's zoo-topia, not Jew-topia. My friends and I thought that was funny.)

Initial devoicing

If you are in Korea, or if you have spoken with Koreans, you may have noticed that at times they seem to say "Pusan" for Busan and "Taegu" for Daegu. You also may have heard "kalbi" for galbi and "pibimbab" for bibimbab. Of course, they are pronouncing these Korean city names and word correctly. This phenomenon is called initial devoicing.

If a voiced consonant is the first word in a sentence, or after a pause, Korean will devoice it.

So if these Korean letters are first, they are pronounced like their devoiced counterparts:

Voiced Devoiced

ㅂ ㅍ

ㄷ ㅌ

ㄱ ㅋ

ㅈ ㅊ

Don't devoice these

Sometimes, though, the Korean language wants the initial sound to be voiced. That's where those weird double consonants come in. These four double consonants are not devoiced. You pronounce them very much like their voiced simple consonant counterparts.

ㄲ ㄸ ㅃ ㅉ

(There is another double consonant, ㅆ, which is always devoiced. Just, you know, so this process is not too straightforward and simple.)

Usually, these double consonants are Romanized as kk, tt, pp, and jj. However, you will make a closer approximation of the Korean pronunciation if you pronounce them as g, d, b, and j.

ㄲ g

ㄸ d

ㅃ b

ㅉ j

(There is a slight difference between the voiced simple consonants and their voiced double consonant counterparts. But don't worry about that right now. Maybe don't worry about that ever. Let's keep moving.)

Final consonants of syllables (받침)

You already know that some syllables in Korean can end in a consonant. For example, the middle syllable of my name has a ㄹ: 쉴.

If a syllable ends in a consonant, that consonant is called a batchim (받침), which means support or small plate. Most batchims are relatively easy. In the above syllable, you see a ㄹ and you pronounce a ㄹ.

Some batchims are more complicated. All three of these letters in the batchim position sound like ㄱ: ㄱ, ㄲ, ㅋ.

Therefore, these three words are all pronounced "pag": 박, 밖, 밬

They are not pronounced "bag" unless the syllable is not initial. For example, if I were saying "미스터박 I would say "mi-seu-teo-bag" (Mister Park).

Any of these letters in the batchim position are pronounced ㄷ: ㄷ, ㅌ,ㅅ,ㅆ,ㅈ,ㅊ,ㅎ

This is why the Korean loanword for cheese must be two syllables (치즈). If you just write 칮 it would be pronounced "chid."

Double batchim

I know I've already given you quite a lot to think about as you read Hangeul, but I really must mention the double batchim and their special rules. Actually, had history gone a little differently, there might not be any of these. King Sejong, the Korean king who commissioned brilliant linguists to invent Hangeul, liked Korean spelling to reflect the root words rather than the actual pronunciation. He liked etymology. Had he preferred regular orthography--spelling that makes perfect sense--I could stop writing this post now and get back to watching my totally not-illegal download of Hugo. But, sigh, he liked the spelling to reflect the words it was related to. So here we go.

There are number of double batchims: ㄳ ㄵ ㄶ ㄺ ㄻ ㄼ ㄽ ㄾ ㄿ ㅀ ㅄ

Most of these are so rare, I'm not going to waste time telling you how to pronounce them. Trust me: the issue won't come up too much. Try not to flip out if you happen to see one.

But there are a couple that are important. ㄺ and ㄻ are just pronounced ㄹ.

When a double batchim is followed by a syllable that begins with a vowel sound, the double batchim carries over to the second syllable. So the word 있어요 (meaning "exists" or "have"--I'll get to this word and its meaning when I move on to speaking Korean) is pronounced ee-seo-yo.

There are a lot of other rules for pronouncing these double batchim. My advice is: don't waste your time. Remember that they have different rules, and just move on.

And one last thing ...

...just to really confuse you. When people have a final consonant in English, it is really enunciated. The final t in cat has to be really heard. It's different in Korean. (If you've taught Koreans ESL and struggled to get them to pronounce final consonants, you know what I'm blogging about.)

Korean final consonants lack the final puff of air that English consonants have. It's like they form the consonant with their mouth, then don't actually pronounce it. Thus, 집 can sound like "chee" and 밥 might sound like "pa." Just be aware of it.

Practice

Try reading these words aloud. I have chosen words which will be helpful for you to know during your time in 한국 (Korea). Try to remember the initial devoicing and all the batchim rules. The answers (Romanized) are below. And you can always copy and paste into Google Translate to hear a native speaker pronounce it.

빵 (bread)
빗 (comb)
진짜? (informal way of asking Really?)
꽃 (flower)
옷 (clothes)
닭 (chicken)
집 (house)
감사합니다 (thank you)
없습니다 (there isn't any/don't have)
김밥
찜질방 (public bathhouse)
부대찌개 (army stew)
시내 (downtown)
빨리빨리 (informal: hurry up)

Answers

(Please don't post a comment that I'm "wrong." I know that most websites Romanize these words differently. I'm Romanizing these in order to teach you initial devoicing. Most websites don't do that. So thank me instead of trying to correct me.)

bang
pit
chinja?
god
od
tag
chib
kam-sa-ham-ni-da
eob-sum-ni-da
kimbab
jim-jil-bang
pu-dae-ji-gae
shi-nae
bal-li-bal-li

The Art of Dongtan

2012-02-02T22:14:00.001+09:00

Dongtan is a beautiful city to live in. As a planned city, the layout of the streets is a work of art in itself. As I wander through these streets, which are neither perfect grids nor as chaotic as medieval cities, I keep coming across artistic treasures. I've taken pictures of most of them so you can see how fun it is to explore Dongtan.

This is one of my favorites. It looks like a child's play-dough creation blown up to be larger-than-life. You can even see the thumbprints. It's like an homage to children's art.

Dongtan's play-dough man

Not far from the Play-Dough Man is a giant sculpture of an onion. Why? I don't know. But it's pretty cool.

Linguist Ashley and the big onion.

This one is, apparently, of a colorful ball of yarn which has been used to create a vase. Or maybe it's something else. I'm not sure what it is, but it's colorful and it cheers me.

Yarn and vase

Metapolis has a number of cool sculptures. Two sculptures are of a young couple and an old couple.

Sculpture of young couple

Sculpture of old couple

The coolest thing about the two couples is that they are all four of them facing this fountain. It's like the artist is saying that young or old, anyone can enjoy this public space. Or maybe it's like you can grow old together in Dongtan. It is nice to walk by everyday.

Near the two couples is a stream. Apparently there used to be a natural stream or ditch there; as Dongtan was built, this natural feature was incorporated into the city's design. There are sculptures of little boys catching fish in this stream. Since it is winter, I don't have a very good picture. The boys just look cold in their swimming gear. I can't wait to see this sculpture in the spring.

Fishing boys

Near these sculptures at Metapolis are these two creepy faces. I don't really like this one. For one thing they have no expression, and for another they are missing pieces of their faces, like jigsaw puzzle pieces that got kicked under the couch. They remind me of sad robots.

Kinda creepy!

If you walk away from the creepy faces and follow the stream, you have to walk up some stairs. Next to the stairs are sculptures of fish swimming upstream.

The struggle to flop upstream

Frozen fish

If you keep walking and follow the stream, you'll come to Central Park's pagoda.It is painted brightly in a very Korean way.

Central Park's pagoda

This is an even more beautiful pagoda in an apartment complex. (The complex is right on the street; I'm not creeping through private property!) The roof was not cemented together and it has unpainted wood, giving it a more natural feel than Central Park's pagoda.

An even better pagoda

Different apartment complexes invest in beautiful sculptures. This sculpture has three figures dancing in a circle. The figures are stylized, massive, playful, and above all balanced. It isn't easy to make weighty bronze figures balance on one hand or foot.

Three Dancers

Of course, many of the sculptures I encounter in Dongtan are abstract, metallic, corporate sculptures that I pretty much just hate.

Nice bent paperclip.

Little metallic spheres.

But there are so many hidden art treasures that I just overlook the corporate sculptures when I can. I discovered, near the metallic spheres, public monuments to a classic Korean artist. There is a long wooded lane through which I walk to reach the post office. It has a series of stelae with reproductions of Joseon-era artworks by the great Kim Hong-Do. I love to stop and look at them and imagine what life would have been like for the Korean working class.

Sailing Home

Merchants peddling their wares

A Roadside Tavern

Boy Crossing a Stream on an Ox

Begging for alms

Korean wrestling

Fishing

Shoeing a horse

As a new and planned city, Dongtan is full of architectural surprises. It's marvelous to walk by beautiful works of art every day.

Café Mano ★★★★★

2012-02-02T19:53:00.001+09:00

I have discovered the most perfect coffee shop in Dongtan. Behold, Café Mano!

Café Mano

The outside plainness is deceiving. On the inside, it is precious. It is worthy of Pinterest. Look at the cuteness.

This is a beautiful way to store your mugs

My reading corner

A painter comes in and paints these tiny paintings right in the café

The fine ladies behind the counter speak some English

But it's not all unfinished wood and quilts! No, they have coffee so good, they really shouldn't call it Americano. Outside of the US, I have become accustomed to being served watered-down espresso and calling it by my country's name. It used to bug me. I am now merely resigned (and I now have to admit that most percolators, if anything, produce even worse brew than watered-down espresso).

But Cafe Mano makes their Americano rich and creamy. They serve it with two sugar lumps and no cream. Somehow, it's perfect.

Photo by Eric Wong

They also have food that is unbelievably good. I ordered homemade soy salad on a bagel. The only thing was, I didn't know what I had ordered. I didn't know what 수제소이 was. As I ate it, I thought it was chicken salad! Their soy tasted like chicken. They served it with apples cut up in it, and the bagel was hot and toasty. Mmmm.

Soy salad set

The prices are reasonable. For the meal pictured above I paid approximately 8000 ₩ ($7.11). The quality of the food and coffee, as well as the twee atmosphere (unique in Korea), make this set a steal.

Honey Bread

If you're craving something sweet, try the honey bread. Delish!

I give Café Mano five stars out of five. If you are in Dongtan, get yourself to Café Mano. It is located literally next door to my apartment. Here is a map. This is a wonderful place to spend an afternoon.

View Cafe Mano in a larger map

A Separation proves less is more

2012-01-30T19:16:00.000+09:00

The Iranian film nominated for Best Foreign Language Film and Best Original Screenplay, A Separation, is rewarding and memorably old-fashioned. It had no CGI, no fancy direction, no shaky-handheld cameras, no narration. It's a drama. It could have been made in 1980 or 2011; the themes are timeless. It has a powerful story to tell about people going through very hard times. The acting was so good I forgot I was watching a movie. The plot was so complex I rewound back to a pivotal moment to watch it again. The direction never got in the way of the story (unlike The Tree of Life, to name an obvious offender).

This young lady broke my heart.

It is an unusual film to receive such positive word-of-mouth because it is so different from the films that usually get accolades. Drive had slick, stylized direction and hip stars. The Descendants had Oscar pedigree and quirky characters grieving in their own ways. The Tree of Life has insufferable pretentiousness. The Artist and Hugo have "movie magic." In fact, I think this film is better than The Descendants, Drive and The Tree of Life. The Artist, however, was pretty special, and I haven't seen Hugo yet.

I think the fact that A Separation lacks so many things that Hollywood spoonfeeds us every year could work to its advantage. This humble drama reminds me of The Hurt Locker. Everyone put their money on Avatar. It made movie history! It's so big and shiny! Then the little movie that could, the one that showcased acting and storytelling first and direction and effects and editing second, stole the Academy's hearts. They remembered what people really love in a film: to hear a story and to see real people's faces. I was underwhelmed by The Hurt Locker, but a Best Picture win might have inflated its stock.

Next month, this little gem could be 2012's The Hurt Locker to The Artist's Avatar (for Best Original Screenplay). If so, you heard it here first.

How to Learn Hangeul Part 3/4

2012-01-28T18:20:00.000+09:00

Right. You have now learned all the vowels and consonants. You've been practicing reading loanwords. If you are in Korea, I'm sure you've been sounding things out. (In Western-style cafes and restaurants you can read more loanwords, I'm sure.) In this lesson we're going to learn the remaining vowel combinations, how to say sh, and read some more loanwords. 가자! ('Sko!)

Vowel Combinations

You've already learned all the vowels, but some vowel combinations turn out sounding different than you'd expect. Korean treats the sounds w and y as vowels.

Y

(Because we like you. Mickey Mouse Club? Anyone?) If you see a double line attached to a regular vowel, it means there's a y sound before the vowel. Gentlemen, start your flashcards.

ㅕ yeo

ㅑ ya

ㅠ yu

ㅛ yo

ㅒ yae

ㅖ ye

(If you recall, ㅐ and ㅔ are actually pronounced the same. Similarly, ㅒ and ㅖ are both pronounced "yay" by almost all Koreans.)

If you continue to study Korean, you'll see ㅛ at the end of a lot of sentences. "-yo" is the polite, or honorific, verb ending.

W

Adding a ㅗ or a ㅜ to any other vowel puts a w sound in front of that vowel. Whether or not a vowel takes ㅗ or ㅜ depends on whether it is a dark or a bright vowel.

ㅘ wa

ㅝ weo

ㅚ we

ㅟ wi

ㅙ wae

ㅞ we

(I'm sure you're wise by now to the fact that both ㅙ and ㅞ are pronounced like the English word "way." Good news! ㅚ is pronounced like "way" too.)

And the one that has no English equivalent

Maybe this one is just in here because learning Hangeul was too easy. Remember the ㅡ vowel that you make by making a grimace while you make a u sound with the back of your throat? To make this diphthong (vowel combination), say the ㅡ vowel and then quickly say ㅣ. It helps if you don't move your lips. Keep them stretched wide across your face (like you've been off guard by a would-be photographer although you don't want your picture taken) as you make both sounds. Don't try to be perfect. Just keep going.

ㅢ eui

If you want to hear this vowel, copy this Hangeul syllable: 의. Then, go to Google Translate and paste the syllable into the box on the left. Finally, click on the volume sign to hear a native speaker say the vowel.

This is pretty simple. When Koreans see a ㅅ + ㅣ, it is pronounced "shee." The Korean language does not allow the pronunciation "see." (If you've ever taught low-level Koreans English, you may have noticed their love of "sheefood".)

시 shee

This rule also applies in some (rare) vowel combinations.

쇼 shyo

쇠 shwe

More Reading Practice

After you more or less have a handle on the vowel combinations, try reading the following loanwords:

컴퓨터
샌드위치
위스키
콜라
주스
카메라
노트북
피아노
아이스크림
테니스
오아시스
오렌지
레몬

Now try reading these proper nouns:

뉴질랜드
애슐리
뉴욕비너스
파키스탄
스웨덴
스위스
서울
보츠와나
베네수엘라
과테말라
필리핀
덴마크

Answers:

computer
sandwich
whiskey
cola
juice
camera
notebook (meaning laptop)
piano
ice cream
tennis
oasis
orange
lemon

New Zealand
Ashley
New York
Venus
Pakistan
Sweden
Swiss (meaning Switzerland)
Seoul
Botswana
Venezuela
Guatemala
Philippines
Denmark

I hate The Tree of Life

2012-01-28T15:25:00.001+09:00

It took me 3 days to get through The Tree of Life, pausing and taking long breaks. Sometimes I would resign myself to watch half an hour, then find I hadn't the stomach for it. OMG it's so terrible. It's not that I can't sit through mood pieces. I remember liking The Thin Red Line and Baraka when I saw them in high school. I have since seen many difficult films that rewarded patience and which I appreciated. But The Tree of Life is like a parody of a great art film.

One major problem is that Malick is unconcerned with whether the audience knows what's going on. I was paying attention and even checking my progress in the movie with wikipedia's entry on it, when I realized, Maybe that boy that drowned was the other brother! At first, I thought he was just some kid in the neighborhood; most bloggers thought so too. Then I noticed that the third brother just disappeared. The story didn't just focus on the main character and the blond brother; the third brother wasn't even in the car with the family when they moved. Why wasn't he mourned as much as the other brother? He just dropped out and no one ever mentioned him again. When the blond brother dies at 19, it wrecks the father and mother. The blond brother apparently meant a great deal to the main character. What about the drowned brother? No love for the brother who can't swim.

Another narrative gap which troubles me is: what am I supposed to make of the grown-up main character? Why is Sean Penn in this movie at all? The main character boy grows up, becomes an architect, and contributes nothing to the story whatsoever. He doesn't even wear billowing clothes.

Oh, the treetops with the sun shining through them! Ah, the white billowing curtains being moved by the wind! A man touching another man's shoulder--how tender. Can't you feel the magic? In case you can't there's narration and loud Anglican-style choirs to tell you how spiritual it all is.

Malick insults my intelligence with the voiceovers. I would have understood the film was about God without the simplistic prayers. It's like Malick has so little trust in his audience's intellectual ability to divine themes he has to explicitly tell us the film is about nature vs. grace. I feel like the narration and the bits about the Big Bang and the beginning of life are unnecessary. I would have appreciated the weight of the story without these things. Really. Life is important. I get that.

Let's explore a more troubling byproduct of Malick's dualistic ideas about the world. The portrayal of the mother as a sinless saint makes me mad. Can we please get away from the goddess-of-the-hearth architype? It's sexist. It teaches young women that they should be perfect angels--a harmful, impossible goal to attain. And Chastain's portrayal of the mother--or possibly Malick's direction of her--annoyed me. She's too soft and "graceful" to say boo to her husband when he hurts their son, or to discipline her children when they terrorize her while the dad is away. Her character is weak. Her self-consciously graceful arm movements, filmed like so many beautiful affectations, exist only in film. No one waves their arms like falling leaves as they lay in the grass. Her scenes are more like magazine photo shoots that have been filmed than real scenes. Real scenes would have, you know, acting.

She charms the butterflies! Submissive feminine perfection!

When the credits rolled I heaved a sigh of relief. Only 2 hours and 13 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I wish I had known how rough this movie was before I began. I can meditate for a few hours at a time. If I had said to myself, "Ashley, you are now going to watch these images and meditate" I could have handled it. As it was, I thought I was watching a movie. I expected to be challenged--Palme d'Or should mean something!--as well as entertained. I was sorely disappointed.

To all the people who think a great art film needs patience and multiple viewings, I say TRUE but that doesn't excuse the director from incoherence or pandering. One or the other is enough to damn a film. This is a difficult film, but not because Malick thinks the audience is bright enough to analyze it like Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury. It's difficult because he thinks you are too stupid to get the dualism or religious themes unless he hits you over the head with it. It's difficult because it sucks. Malick sucks too. This movie is so bad it's bad.

Suwon

2012-01-27T19:01:00.000+09:00

Last weekend the gang decided to head to Suwon. And so we did.

Suwon is famous for two things: its UNESCO fortress wall and galbi (beef ribs). We tried to eat galbi at a place in the Lonely Planet, but they jacked up their prices after lunchtime and we figured we could do better than 25,000 won per person. We walked through the ancient part of Suwon, where people live in hanok, and found this amazing place. We didn't take a picture of it (d'oh!), and I can't find it on the map, but if you get a taxi to take you to Yeonpo Galbi, begin walking towards Janganmun. When you see a sign that says "Janganmun 400 metres", turn to your right. That's the place. They served us whole crabs as a side dish! The Mr. went to town on those. My favorite was the owner's homemade 쌈장 (the orange spicy paste). I'd never had it homemade before, and it was amazing!

So after you eat yourself silly, there's nothing like a long, uphill hike in the freezing cold. We walked along the fortress wall to an outlook post that's on top of the highest hill.

The view from the Southwest Pavilion

We need lots of couple photos while we're still young and sexy

So we clowned around there for awhile and headed back down. At the base of the hill there's a spring where locals can come get fresh spring water.

Natron getting spring water

Across from the spring are the restrooms. Inside the restrooms we heard a guy singing plaintively a song with the memorable words: Pa chil a gong gong, pa chil a gong gong. YK told us the song was about a guy who loved a woman so much he tied her down so she wouldn't leave. That's about as creepy as hanging out in a bathroom singing.

YK had heard of a big jjimjilbang in Suwon, so we took a taxi there. (Taxis are ridiculously cheap if you have 4 people in the car.) Both YK and I had been to many a mogyogtang (naked, sex-segregated sauna) before, but the Mr. and Natron never had. They were, however, "ready to get intimate" as they put it.

This was a big, nice mogyogtang. They had different sauna rooms of varying temperatures, cold baths and hot baths, an outdoor bath, water jets for back massages ... just about everything. We soaked for awhile and talked, then put on our jjimjilbang outfit and met the boys in the jjimjilbang.

Natron, the Mr., Linguist Ashley and YK at a jjimjilbang

We relaxed here, getting in different saunas, hot and then cold, and eating corn and mandu when the galbi wore off. I love jjimjilbangs. I can't believe how cheap they are. You can pay about 8000 won and even spend the night. It's a great way to travel cheap. It's much more entertaining than any hotel, and easily one-fourth the price.

We had a great night in Suwon, doing three very Korean things: grilling our own food in a restaurant, hiking up a hill, and chilling in a jjimjilbang. For four 외국인 (foreigners), it was a very Korean excursion. We even capped off the night with a visit to Lotteria.

How to Learn Hangeul Part 2/4

2012-01-26T21:32:00.000+09:00

Weren't consonants easy? I bet you mastered all of them after only going through your flashcards twice. Sometimes I used to get ㄴ and ㄱ mixed up, but everything got straightened out pretty fast. Ah, Korean consonants. Those were the days.

Vowels

I'm not gonna lie. Vowels are little tougher, and I blame two things: English's dysfunctional orthographic system and the less-than-intuitive philosophical designs of the Hangeul vowels. I'm spreading the blame around.

Even though English has about 15 vowels, it only has 5 letters to represent these vowels. It's tough to even describe which vowels a Korean letter represents in English. (One of these vowels simply doesn't exist in English.)

Those brilliant linguists who devised a simple way to write consonants--so simple it was called "The Writing You Can Learn in a Morning"--got pretty esoteric when it came to their vowels. I'll try to explain the vowel and the English vowels they correspond to, but this is where real world experience trumps blog-learnin'. Do your best to keep moving and don't get bogged down in details.

Basic vowels

This is a picture of a person: ㅣ

You pronounce that vowel as the ee in beet or the i in bit.

This is a picture of the earth's horizon: ㅡ

This is the vowel that doesn't exist in English. You basically say the u in boot, but pull your lips wide instead of rounding them. Learn more by clicking here. It is Romanized (written in English characters) as eu. If you just say it like the uh in but, you'll be fine.

The vowels in Hangeul are based on these two basic symbols.

ㅣee (as in beet) or i (as in bit)

ㅡ eu

The person vowels

Based on the vowel that represents a person, ㅣ, we can have a "dark" person and a "bright" person. (I know, it seems weird to me too.)

The bright person has their left hand sticking out (on our right): ㅏ

This is pronounced like the a in father.

The dark person has their other hand sticking out:ㅓ

This is pronounced like the u in plus. Learn more here. It is Romanized as eo.

ㅏ a

ㅓ eo

The earth vowels

The earth vowel also has a dark and a bright variation.

Bright earth has a line above it: ㅗ

It is pronounced like the o in boat.

Dark earth has a line below it: ㅜ

It is pronounced like the oo in boot, or the Spanish u if you know Spanish vowels. It's Romanized as u.

ㅗ o

ㅜ u

Two person vowels

When a neutral person and a bright person get together, it looks like this: ㅐ

See how that has a ㅣand a ㅏ?

This vowel is pronounced like the e in pet or the a in Ashley. It is Romanized as ae.

When a neutral person and a dark person get together, it looks like this: ㅔ

This vowel is pronounced like the ay in way. It's Romanized as e, and it's also similar to the Spanish e.

ㅐae

ㅔe

(Actually both of these vowels are pronounced as the a in cat or the e in pet. You can pronounce both of these the same and you'll sound like a native speaker of Korean. They were distinctive for centuries, but now they sound the same. It's like in English, how the w in witch used to be distinctive from the wh in which, and now they are the same. Except for Stewie Griffin, of course.)

Your first Korean words

Now you have the eight basic Korean vowels. There are also compound vowels, but that's enough for now. We're going to put the consonants and the vowels we know to the test.

You don't have to memorize all the vowels completely before beginning this part. In fact, learning these words will help you to figure out those confusing Hangeul vowels.

I want you to sound out the following loanwords that Korean has borrowed from English and other languages. Remember that ㅇ is silent if it is the first letter in a syllable, and ng if it is the last letter in a syllable:

라디오

토마토

커피

호텔

택시

햄버거

텔레비전

후렌치후라이

라지 치즈 피자

스포츠

마사지

Now sound out the following names of countries:

멕시코

폴란드

캐나다

나이지리아

네덜란드

아일랜드

인도네시아

러시아

The answers are below, but don't look until you've sounded all these out. You can do this.

I'm sure you noticed a lot of interesting things. For example, Korean doesn't have an f, so they replace fs with p (in 커피) or h (in 후렌치후라이). Neither is there a Korean v, so you'll see it replaced with ㅂ. Also, Koreans use the letter ㅈ for both j and z. Finally, the dental consonants can't end a syllable, so Korean adds one of the basic vowels to the end of the word. (I used to hear them talk about President Bushy.)

All these differences will become second nature to you after a few weeks of practicing Hangeul.

In addition, you have by now noticed that each syllable exists in its own square. There are a lot of rules as to how these syllables are shaped, but they are easier to just pick up than to memorize the rules one by one. Practice reading, and you won't need to memorize a bunch of rules.

Now make flashcards of the loanwords and countries. Shuffle them into your vowel cards and practice. Also practice any consonants you have been having trouble with.

YOU'RE READING KOREAN!!!

Answers:

radio

tomato

coffee

hotel

taxi

hamburger

television

French fries

large cheese pizza

sports

massage

Mexico

Poland

Canada

Nigeria

Netherlands

Ireland

Indonesia

Russia

How to learn Hangeul Part 1/4

2012-01-26T13:17:00.001+09:00

Learning the Korean alphabet is much easier than you think. It's so easy I'm surprised more people don't do it. It will take you about two hours to completely master the consonants and to gain general knowledge of the vowels. Mastery of the vowel system takes more practice, but you can get around very well without mastery. To learn the Linguist Ashley way, you'll need to buy some index cards to turn into flashcards.

(Note to linguists: You are not my primary audience. I hope that people untrained in linguistics can use this guide to learn to read Hangeul. I know phonology, and I know these sounds might be explained differently in a phonology class, but these were the classifications apparently used by King Sejong's linguists.)

CONSONANTS

The linguists who invented the Korean alphabet were no dummies. They wanted it to be easy for normal people (at the time, farmers and peasants) to learn. They actually made the consonants stylized pictures of the human mouth making these sounds. As the Guinness commercial said, Brilliant.

I am going to explain the Korean consonants in a way that will help you recognize the way they are written in Hangeul.

The Bilabials (ones you make using mostly your lips)

This is a picture of a closed human mouth viewed from the front: ㅁ

Make an m sound. Your mouth should be closed and the lips pressed together. The square is a stylized picture of your mouth making the m sound.

Now make a b sound. b starts as m, with your lips closed and pressed together. Then you make a puff of air.

This is a picture of a closed human mouth, but with a puff of air: ㅂ

The two lines at the top are the puff of air. Make sense?

Now make a p sound. Does it seem like it has a more powerful puff of air? The Korean linguists who created this system thought so.

This is a picture of a closed human mouth making a bigger puff of air: ㅍ

It has lines coming from the top and the bottom of the square.

Now take 3 index cards and write these three Hangeul letters on one side and the corresponding English letters on the other side.

ㅁ m

ㅂ b

ㅍ p

The Dental consonants (the ones you make by pushing air between your teeth)

These symbols are also stylized views of the human mouth viewed from the front. This is a picture of the human mouth making an s sound: ㅅ

I like to imagine this as the person's lips slightly raised to show the front teeth as she pushes the air between the teeth to make the s sound. Easy, right?

Now, make an s sound and allow it to morph into a j. The Korean linguists who invented Hangeul fancied a j as like an s, but with more air. Thus their j is an s with an extra burst of air at the top: ㅈ

I'm sure you can guess how they make a ch. Yep: even more air coming out than a j. They place the extra burst of air at the top: ㅊ

Now you are ready to make 3 more flashcards:

ㅅ s

ㅈ j

ㅊ ch

Back of the tongue consonants

These are the consonants you make by bringing the broad, flat back part of your tongue up to the roof of your mouth. (Linguists call these velar consonants. Specifically, they are plosives. Maybe I'll get into it in depth on this blog one day.) Korean linguists called these molar sounds because you made them in the same area as your molars. For these symbols, imagine you are a viewing a human mouth from the side.

Make a g sound. Notice how your tongue comes up to the roof of your mouth at the back? Hangeul makes a stylized drawing of this back-of-the-tongue action: ㄱ

So from left to right, that drawing shows the very most back part of the tongue at the top, then the tip of the tongue coming down. Hey, it's stylized.

Now make a k sound. I bet you know what's coming next. That's right: an extra puff of air: ㅋ

Now it's time to make 2 more flashcards:

ㄱ g

ㅋ k

Lingual consonants (made using mostly your tongue)

The alveolar ridge is this hard part of the roof of your mouth. You'll find it if you put your tongue on your front teeth and pull it backwards. It's a hard bump thing on the roof of your mouth at the front of your mouth. The first three lingual consonants use this alveolar ridge.

For these letters, imagine again that you are viewing the human mouth from the side. Make an n sound. Your tongue should go right to that alveolar ridge. The Korean letter that represents the n sound is a picture of your tongue touching the alveolar ridge: ㄴ

Now make a d sound. Your tongue goes to the same place, but instead of humming like you do with an n, you release a puff of air. The Korean letter for d is like an n but with a line representing a puff of air: ㄷ

Now make a t sound. You guessed it--extra puff of air: ㅌ

You may not think that r and l are very similar to n, d, and t. The Korean language has a different relationship to r and l than English. We distinguish between the two. Korean, not so much. For our purposes--namely, so you can read Hangeul--just think of them as the same sound. You make these sounds with your tongue, so Hangeul groups them together.

Make an r sound. Make an l sound. Do you feel how the tip of your tongue curves down, then up, to make these sounds? The Hangeul symbol for r/l is a little squiggle, which is a stylized picture of your tongue as it makes the sound: ㄹ

Now make your flashcards:

ㄴ n

ㄷd

ㅌ t

ㄹ r/l

Throat consonants

These letters represent the human throat as a circle, which it basically is. Here's a picture of relaxed vocal cords.

Here's the stylized picture of your throat in Hangeul: ㅇ

This letter can either be silence, when it is the first letter in a syllable, or it can mean ng if it is at the end of a syllable. We'll memorize both uses and sort them out later.

Make an h sound. Predictably, Hangeul pictures this sound as silence with two puffs of air: ㅎ

(You may be asking, What happened to the single puff of air? It used to be a letter representing a glottal stop. It is no longer used, but it looked like this: ㆆ)

Stop. Flashcard time.

ㅇ silence/ng

ㅎ h

Double consonants

That's all the consonants you really need to memorize. The rest are double consonants. They are just made by doubling one of the basic symbols. They're so easy you might not want to waste your index cards even making these flashcards. These are called "tense consonants" and you are supposed to make your mouth more tense when you make these sounds. I don't but Koreans always understand me. I wouldn't worry about pronouncing these differently than the single consonants until you've already mastered reading Korean. Even if you live in Korea many years, you probably won't ever need to distinguish between regular and tense consonants; Koreans can understand you.

ㄲ gg

ㄸ dd

ㅃ bb

ㅆ ss

ㅉ jj

* * *

That's it! That's all the consonants. Take a few minutes and go through the 14 (or 19, if you made flashcards for the double consonants) flashcards you made. I like to put them in my purse and study them when I'm waiting in line or for an elevator. You should master them in about an hour.

When you've memorized the Hangeul consonants, we'll move on to vowels.

Navigating Dongtan

2012-01-25T18:05:00.001+09:00

After Gangnam, the Mr. and I moved into our new home in Dongtan. Dongtan is technically a district in the city of Hwaseong, but it operates as its own city. It was designed by some architects who claim to have considered the natural features of the land and laid Dongtan out almost by feng shui. Read about the planning of Dongtan here.

Dongtan City is too new to be in guidebooks (thanks for nothing, Lonely Planet. Just kidding. Really I love you). Just about the only useful information on it is from the vlogger Qi Ranger. Here is some information that I have learned through trial and error about navigating Dongtan. I hope this helps other Anglophone ex-pats who find themselves in a city so new that until about a month ago, Google satellite just showed a construction site.

This is a Google map of Dongtan. I added pins of important places.

View Dongtan, South Korea in a larger map

(To make the most of this map, you should learn to read Hangeul, the Korean alphabet. It's much easier than it sounds! Blog post about it coming up.)

Dongtan was designed around a mall, Metapolis, which has four towers. You can see the towers from anywhere in town; they are a most useful landmark. They even have their own wikipedia entry. You'll go to Metapolis to go to Home Plus (sort of Korea's Wal-Mart where you can find anything you need) or the movie theatre, CGV. Metapolis in Korean is 메타폴리스. See it on the map?

Central Park runs through Metapolis and bisects the town. See 동탄센트럴 파크 on the map?The blue pin just north of Central Park is our apartment. (The GS25 is actually a FamilyMart.) We live above a restaurant that specializes in Jeju black pork. This is our apartment building:

It's much nicer on the inside. North of our home on the map you can see a big gray square block. That is the Samsung factory, which is also a very good landmark although it's not quite as tall as Metapolis:

On the map, east of the Samsung factory I placed a marker for the post office (우체국). You have to walk though a thin park-like walkway and over a highway to get to the post office, but at least you won't wander around following bad directions for two hours in -9 degrees Celsius to find it, like I did. You're welcome. In this picture the post office has an orange sign and is below a Nanometrics office.

In the center of the map, to the east, I put a pin where the downtown area is. If you are in the market for a noraebang (Korean karaoke) or pub-crawling, you want to head to this area. That's where the gang (the Mr., Natron, YK, and yours truly) hangs out when we're in Dongtan.

Last but certainly not least, check out the blue line in the southwest corner of Dongtan. That blue line is Dongtan's train-tracks, which connect to Suwon and Seoul's Line 1 eventually. The train station is called 서동탄 역 (West Dongtan Station). The train is about a 30-minute walk from Central Park, or a 10-minute 3300 won cab ride. This is 서동탄역 and the Mr.:

The train connects to Osan, Suwon, and Seoul. It's more English-friendly than the buses.

I hope this information is useful to my future Dongtan neighbors. Until next time, ^^

Kindergarten homework

2012-01-23T14:05:00.000+09:00

A lot of people ask me how I am learning Korean. Well, the Pimsleur CDs help me with my pronunciation, and I learned the alphabet using flashcards, but one of my secrets of language learning is to do homework for kindergartners.

When I was Daegu four years ago a Korean friend gave me some old workbooks that a little cousin never finished. These are published by Samsung. The one I most recently finished looks like this:

It is a book to help 5-year-olds learn to read Hangeul. Inside, it has pictures of things that I assume all Korean children know, like hippos, pumpkins, and harmonicas:

You are supposed to write the vocabulary words over and over. The repetition helps you to remember the vocabulary items. (I remember a high school Spanish teacher employing this method when students didn't do their homework.) This helps me not only learn new vocabulary items, but also their educational system. What Westerners call "rote memorization" has been a feature of education probably since humanity first began: poets memorized stories like the Iliad and Beowulf, and griots memorized genealogical lines. Repetition is still a feature of the Korean educational system, although that is slowly changing.

I've worked through three of these books now, and in addition to learning the Korean words for hippo and pumpkin, I've gained an appreciation for the amount of effort and time that Korean 5-year-olds are expected to do homework. The book pictured above is 64 pages long. It took me over 3 hours to complete. My hand cramped and my mind wandered. I remember in kindergarten and 1st grade doing about one page of homework a night, and none of it was repetitious. Koreans work hard, and they start at an early age.

Working through a kindergartner's homework gave me an appreciation for the Korean work ethic, and it also taught me the word for hippo. Now I'm off to buy a moisture absorber hippo. Good thing I learned the vocab.

Conan

2012-01-22T03:03:00.000+09:00

This blog post is not really about Korea, but about a book I read before I came here: Conan.

The Mr.'s brother gave him three volumes of collections of Conan stories from a used book store. The mass market paperbacks don't seem to have been read before--they were in much better condition than the one in this photo--but the glue is disintegrating. The books smell like decaying plant matter, and every page we turn gently falls away from its spine.

Because they are deteriorating from age, these books are hard to read, but they are worth the effort. The Mr. and I took turns reading the Conan stories in this volume, known as Conan #1, aloud to each other as we drove through the depressingly dead strip-mined parts of Kentucky to my mother's house.

The author of the original Conan stories, Robert E. Howard, was a penpal of HP Lovecraft and a future suicide. He created Conan as his idealized alter ego. Conan did not understand civilization; in one story he gives up riches because they would weigh him down. He seeks some balance between stability--enough gold for wine and women--and adventure. He is a thief, a murderer, and Howard's ideal man. Maybe you've seen one of the movie adaptations. None of them are true to the stories.

The stories in this collection are escapist gems. Conan braves wolves, sorcery, and ancient gods to bring down great evil, steal a bunch of treasure, or both. The most grandly epic one, for me, was "The City of Skulls." Conan actually went to Tibet. Wrap your head around that one. The best stories, though, are the ones Howard completed in his own lifetime: "The Tower of the Elephant", "Rogues in the House", and "The God in the Bowl", which owes more to Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes' stories than any of the Weird Tales.The first tale though establishes who Conan is and makes him a far more complex character than the Schwarzenegger movies. Howard's Conan was no dumb beast of burden.

If you noticed from the last book I half-ass reviewed, I like short stories. They are less of a commitment than novels. I can finish one in an hour or two and actually have accomplished something. With novels, it's more like a long trudge than a walk around the block. Maybe I just like short stories because I'm lazy. Maybe I have OCD. At any rate, squirrel!