Linnie gets Laced

I AM

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 03:03:00 +0000

I am Benner.

I am the Anti-Borg.

Hear me roar,

L

Danger, Will Robinson, DANGER!

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 04:57:00 +0000

As I made my breakfast this morning, some giggles escaped as I recalled a surreal sight from a few days earlier.

It was pouring rain as Newf and I drove through the city. Suddenly, my eye caught sight of a senseless senior standing in her driveway. She was a tiny thing with tightly curled white hair, and every other attribute one would assume a cute little old lady to have (including the tight-lipped grimace).

The woman stood firmly planted in a puddle, both hands tightly grasping a mighty and massive leaf blower. For whatever reason, the lady was hell-bent on blowing the wet leaves clumped and congregating in her driveway.

At first glance, the whole scene seemed merely silly, not stupid. Why this lady needed to clear leaves from her driveway on a sopping wet, soaker of a morning was questionable, but certainly not crazy. What was a little nutty was the fact that this lady was using an electric leaf blower. Not a word of a lie - this woman stood soaking wet, gripping her blower with gut-so, a long yellow extension chord trailing from the blower to the nearest available electrical outlet.

Did I mention it was raining really hard?

As I described the scene to Newf, interchanging chuckles with concern, he matter-of-factly glanced in my direction and said: "Lindsay, when you get to be that age you just don't give a fuck anymore."

Fast forward to this morning. As I made my breakfast, I couldn't help but be saddened by the idea of a funky, fearless lady who no longer cared about her safety. That's exactly when my bagel got stuck in the toaster.

Naturally, I grabbed a fork to fish it out.

I looked at the fork, and then looked at the burning bagel as said, "Fuck it, I'm going to fork it."

Let's just say that I lived to tell the tale. My breakfast was saved - and that little lady got her driveway cleared. It was a lesson well-learned: sometimes, rules are made to be broken.

Sounds good to me.

Your dangerous diner,

L

PS. Please let me stress that this is a humorous piece, and is in no way meant to suggest that holding electrical equipment while standing in a puddle (or in any way covered in moisture) is a good idea. Please do not try this at home.

PPS. Just in case, I should also stress that inserting metal objects into electrical appliances is also a bad idea. You can try this at home, but don't hold me responsible if you die or get harmed in any way. You may also ruin your hair.

Music Monday: It's A Wicked World

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:30:00 +0000

Good morning boys and girls!

After a long hiatus I've ~~finally~~ got a musical Monday morning for you.

This week I am featuring the enchanting Laura Jansen!

She's a serious femme fatale who seems to be newish to the scene. I only just heard of Ms. Jansen the other night, when she performed live on Craig Ferguson (my favourite late night comedy king).

Her single completely caught me off guard - I really liked it! This lovely lady writes about her life (most recently a breakup) and according to her website, today's catchy track "urges listeners to uncurl from the fetal position, grab some friends, and go have fun." Further, Jansen describes, " 'That song is about how it's time to go out and meet some men. It's time to do some drinking, because being depressed is getting old."

Now, I haven't suffered a nasty breakup, but that doesn't mean I don't sink with sadness.

It's Monday. Even worse, it's Monday morning.

Unless you salivate at the sour, you, too, could use a little bit more fun. I know I could.

Check out her cheeky video, I'm almost positive it'll make you smile:

Did you smile? Honestly? I cracked a full grin once Hansel and Gretel hit the screen.

Personally, I love a good rule breaker, a cliche kicker, or just a good old play on life.

Laura Jansen, your jolly little tune brightened my day. Thanks for the solid song.

Finding fun with fairy tales,

L

My Fashion Forward Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 02:33:00 +0000

Well, my friends, welcome to my fun-filled Friday!

Today, I provided the lovely Sasha Jones with some fodder for her fabulous fashion-minded blog! If you like pretty dresses, mad makeup and curly-cue hair take a look!

Even if you don't, take a little look at Sasha's blog, LA Inspiration, for some sun-soaked stories (straight from LA).

Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Waiting for the weekend,

L

I'm back (for now)!

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:01:00 +0000

So, is it time to jump back into the blogging world?

I think so.

I wonder how long I'll hold out this time.

Your cheeky little bugger,

L

Wordless Wednesday: Storm Front VI

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 03:42:00 +0000

It's been a gusty night in London, Ontario, my freaky friends!

Lots to discuss, but for now, my best shot of the night:

This storm was like nothing I have ever experienced before.

My thoughts if the thunder or tornadoes thrashed you tonight,

L

Music Monday: Disease-d

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 00:33:00 +0000

My fresh-faced friends,

Mondays are always a little rough.

And Matchbox 20's Disease is so smooth (pun intended).

You've gotta love a good taped live show. Find the official video here.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Digging the disease (but not the early morning),

L

Music Monday: That Funky Music

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 01:44:00 +0000

Good evening my Monday friends!

I'll be honest - this morning was rough. I was all excited last night (something about a really good looking vampire) and stayed up much too late.

The inevitable happened, and I slept in this morning. I managed to make it to work on time (and in top form), but let me tell you, I was a little off kilter all day.

So, today, I needed something really damn cool. Something I could boogie down to, something that demands a little off kilter action.

To the Parentals - I know what you did in the seventies. It was all a little sideways, no?

I bet it looked good on you, and it probably felt even better.

Now for the good stuff, the natural high. We all know drugs are bad. You should never, ever, touch them. Not one little bit. Not even if you nothing else to live for. At least that is my disclaimer.

Get ready to bop to the beat of Wild Cherry and their bad ass ballad "Play that Funky Music":

Did you happen to watch the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards last night?

We had it on, but I forced the Newf to turn it off. It seems the majority of those kids are too young to hold my interest. That, or I'm too old.

Either way, after watching that, I don't feel old anymore. You rock, Wild Cherry.

Avoiding the ~~Nickelodeon~~ green garbage, cool cure and pretty powders,

L

Music Monday: Beating the Business

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 21:19:00 +0000

Good morning my loves!

I have something very special for you! Yes I do!

In order to celebrate my sexy sashay back into the workforce I have a fun little ditty (and definitely not the original video).

This song was written by a guy called Randy Bachman. You might remember him as a member of The Guess Who.

Anyways, Bachman based this song on a recording technician who worked with his band. Some lyrics, "take the 8:15 into the city" and the song's title "White Collared Worker", for example, were born purely because of Bachman's muse. This specific technician took an 8:15 train to get to work and wore the standard uniform of audio technicians - a white collared shirt.

When Bachman first played his new song for the lead singer of The Guess Who, Burton Cummings, he did not receive positive reinforcement. Instead, Burton stated that the band would never play the song and insisted that he was ashamed of Bachman (it seems that the first guitar riff of the song was awfully similar to The Beatles "Paperback Writer").

Cummings was scared of getting sued, and swore it would never be played. Bachman still wanted his song played.

To make a long story short, an ironic twist of fate gave Bachman the opportunity to sing his "White Collared Worker" on stage with his second band, a little group called B.T.O.

Bachman exchanged the previous "White Collared Worker" title with "Taking Care of Business", a catchphrase of a DJ he had heard over the radio. The disputed guitar riff was revised, and "Taking Care of Business" was born.

Enjoy this saucy little version of B.T.O.'s "Taking Care of Business"! I hope it ramps up your Monday!

I'll never look at mopping the same way. Hoover, anyone?

What do you do to spice up your housework?

Done my first day,

L

Photo Feedback: Friday Night at the Horse Show

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 01:15:00 +0000

I have a problem. I have piles of photographs and no one to critique them. Some of the photos are funky, and some of them have flopped.

If I post them, do you think you could critique them? I don't care what qualifications you have (or don't have), because everything helps! Maybe it is the content, or the lighting, or whatever. If you would change it, I want to know.

Of course, if you think it is the best thing you've ever seen and you would pay millions and millions of dollars just to hang it in your home, don't hesitate to give me a shout. Hey, it's going to happen. I'm amazing.

And finally, if you are like me, and want something constructive shoot me a photo and we'll get it up here (with due credit and links, of course).

First up, I have a couple of shots I took at a horse show last weekend. I really liked them, but they seemed to have flopped.

Too bad.

Ideas?

And finally, everyone's favourite:

If you want to see the other five shots I really liked, check out my Flickr page. Do you have a photography website or Flickr page? Let me know where!

Creating criticism,

L

Music Monday: You Know Amy's Good

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:45:00 +0000

It is a sad day that a girl riddled with as much talent as Amy Winehouse dies, only to be remember as an addict.

Everyone of us will die. Some of us will be junkies, but only a special few can sing like Winehouse could.

Let's remember the talent, not the shortcomings. Because let's face it people, we all have our faults and our addictions (I'm partial to milk chocolate).

Here is one of my favourites, You Know I'm No Good, by Ms. Amy Winehouse:

Do you lament the loss? Do you believe in the Forever 27 Curse? Did you know the club of chance existed?

Tell me why (and remember, karma is a bitch)!

Singing (Amy's) Swan Song,

L

Music Monday: You're Unbelievable

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 05:06:00 +0000

Today's track is for my peeps. They are 100% unbelievable. Grooooooooaaaaaan!

Granted, today's song ~~may have used before~~ is known for its profanity. Before I explain, take a quick little listen to EMF's Unbelievable:

The video is less than thrilling, I know. But, did you hear that? Take a closer listen to the chorus - there is a background vocal that can be vaguely heard saying, "What the fuck was that?"

Now typically, this would require strict editing before any type of radio play proceeded. However, these lyrics were never edited (probably because they were considered incoherent background vocals). Now you know better, you are armed for pissing off only the most prominent prudes with your newfound musical knowledge.

Considering the sheer amount of air time Unbelievable has received since its release, and the amount of times the f-bomb is dropped in this specific song, this track is likely responsible for the most profanity ever heard over radio.

Not enough? You want more?

Well, know that according to the song on the B-side of the Unbelievable single was a song called "EMF" (a self-titled track). This song included the chorus: "E! Ecstasy! M! Motherfucker, motherfucker! F! From us to you…"

What would their mother think? I can tell you, mine would not be impressed.

Now that I've mentioned my Mother, here's a fun fact about me: when I was in university I rarely studied in the library. When I did I would do the natural thing - scope out a chair close to a cute boy. I'd set up my song, wait to catch his eye and then I'd push play.

Who needs poetry when you've got a ready-to-go, an "unbelievable" if you will, catchline?

To try my little trick, know that my sweet spot is right around 1:17. A note to catch his attention, and ~~wham~~ bam ~~thank you ma'am~~!

Starting to get saucy,

L

Melting and Mushy

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 04:40:00 +0000

Today, my intriguing Internet friends, this song is for you.

After your lovely response to my return, I couldn't help but send you all a shout out. Partially because you are all so damn cute, but mainly because you make me feel so damn good.

You see, this year I have made a conscious effort to discuss the things (about me) that make me feel extremely ill-at-ease. My hopes were that all this "talk therapy" would ease my insecurities while reducing some of the stigma some of my nearest-and-dearest felt about some of the problems plaguing my own person.

It seems, that like my attempted giveaway, I have only succeeded in falling flat on my face.

That's okay - because you know what? I can laugh about it now. Six months ago, that wouldn't have happened.

I attribute a major part of my small success to you, my beautiful blogging buddies.

You guys ROCK. MY. WORLD.

Thanks people. Your comments, emails and good old fashioned tongue-in-cheek movement (and I mean that in all seriousness) really mean a lot.

You really make me smile; I hope I can do the same for you.

Now for the music. Keep reading, we aren't done yet.

Watch Your Tongue, Newfoundland!

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 14:18:00 +0000

In other news.... I caught Newf saying "whatevs" today.

I told him if he keeps that up he is going to have to eat the at the table with the rest of the sixteen year old girls.

Let's just say, he didn't like that. I had to make my own lunch. It was delicious: peanut butter on whole wheat.

Serves me right, I suppose.

Do you have any throwback sayings? I'm a big proponent of "eh". What can I say, I'm a proud Canadian.

Getting saucy with the spouse,

Emphasizing the Employed

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 02:11:00 +0000

Well boys and girls, I guess I better drop the bomb.

I got a job.

Yep, that's right - this lady will no longer be living a life of leisure. I'm a working girl now.

Well, two weeks from now. Then I'll be the biggest bad ass employee you've ever seen. That's right, a big bad ass who bikes to work and vomits when faced with the prospect of public interaction.

I only got sick twice this morning. It could've been worse - once I got so nervous on a pet-themed photo shoot I graced a garbage can with the remnants of my lunch. I missed, slightly, but no worries, a lovely retriever took care of it.

I got some really good pictures of him and his owner was happy, so I called it a wash.

Thank goodness the majority of my new position is telephone based. Otherwise, it could get messy. I've worked the phones before, I know what they are about and I'm pretty darn good at what I do.

I'm paid to be happy. Let's just say I'm good with a mute button and even better with a ~~flipped finger~~ thumbs up.

I'm so cool. Like really, blistering and completely bitching cool.

Actually, I am. Do you know anyone else with paper puke bags decorated with glitter?

A life in the day of Linnie.

What do you think of me now? Is the glitter too much?

Faintly flippant,

L

The Parentals Have Crossed Over

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 03:45:00 +0000

Today The Parentals found land. That means that my retired parents have successfully just sailed across the Atlantic Ocean on a 38 foot boat. .

It only took them twenty-four days. Rumour has it, they ran out of liquor around the fourteen day mark. Let's just say they've been drifting for awhile.

You can read all about it on my Dad's blog, Benners Adrift, if you are so inclined.

Way to go Parentals.

Happy my parents rock (and the ocean didn't rock them),

L

Music Monday: Sunscreen and Schmich

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 19:29:00 +0000

Today's track is technically a musical single, but features a lot of talking. Released by Baz Luhrmann, on the album Something for Everybody this is a piece that I try to listen to every couple of months. I never, ever get nostalgic while doing so. Ever. I'm not that old yet.

The speech at the basis of the song is widely rumoured to have originated from an MIT commencement speech, given by a gentleman by the name of Kurt Vonnegut. The fiction filled tale was so convincing that Mr. Luhrmann himself was frantically searching for Vonnegut as to secure permission to record the speech.

In fact, the speech was published as a column in the Chicago Tribune on June 1, 1997. Written by Mary Schmich, it was introduced as the commencement speech she would give, if ever asked to do so.

Despite publishing a follow-up piece on August 3, 1997, credit is rarely attributed correctly to Ms. Schmich.

So here it is, my friends, Everbody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen). Consider picking up the album (if you can find it). I love it, but haven't had much luck replacing the copy I lost. It is probably hiding in some Disney vault somewhere. Damn those dwarves (I speak to the Snow White version, I've always thought they were a little shady).

So, how about it - are you fanatic about sunscreen? Do you rock the tanned look? Personally, I'm whiter than a bowl of vanilla ice cream. I tend to burn quickly (my record is fifteen minutes for a burn received in North Carolina a month or so ago).

Screening the sun (through tinted windows),

It's a Gaggle....Of Geese

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 07:52:00 +0000

I know that it isn't Wednesday, but I'm feeling a little dangerous and wanted to break back into this blogging with something a little droll.

The Newf snapped and sent me this picture on his way home from work. We were still in Toronto at the time.

Something about this straggling gaggle just seemed fitting. They look like my kind of geese - the feisty, flapped, Canadian kind.

Giggling at the gaggle,

L

*Note: Let it be known you should not approach Canadian geese - they can get a little nasty. When I get a goose (and I will get a goose) it will be of the white garden variety. I will feed it toast from the window and give it a good Dutch name. I promise.

Music Monday: I Promised You Disco

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 21:08:00 +0000

The last time we spoke, I promised you disco.

I have delivered.

After looking through scores of silly little disco songs, I settled on my tried and true - The Bee Gees. This song became an immediate favourite. I loved it before I knew it was popular, because baby, that's just how I roll.

So, um, tight pants. That's certainly an old take on "junk in the trunk".

When I was a child I loved this song SO much, I had to learn the lyrics. So, there I sat, the lyrics copied in my odd little handwriting, singing my heart out.

Be glad you missed it. I can't sing.

Point being, the lyrics have been emblazened into my brain and will remain that way for the rest of my life. Being a country girl, this bad boy track is a required feature at any good wedding, buck and doe, or any other event that includes a lot of liquor and a little bit of a crowd.

When it is blaring over the speakers, you can find me making rounds around the dance floor, shaking my swagger and singing this song.

What gets your rump shaking? Do you know the full lyrics to anything special?

Do you sing like no one is looking?

Creeping on (someone else's) computer,

I'm AWOL!

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 23:45:00 +0000

Dear Bloggy Friends,

My computer is dead.

While I try to revive my dearest technological buddy, please remember to brush your teeth. Don't forget flossing (I kid, we all know no one actually flosses)!

Bringing disco back,

Music Monday: Rolling in the Deep

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 23 May 2011 16:25:00 +0000

Good afternoon!

I am up to my eyeballs in paint, so this is going to be quick. Worth it, as always, I promise.

This lady has recently become part of the mainstream radio play, and I couldn't be happier. The first time I heard her song i just had to know what it was. I had to hear it again.

It has played non-stop ever since.

In fact, I would strongly suggest you pick up her new album, 21, because it is totally worth the bucks. I would even argue that she has some better tunes than her sizzling single hiding on her CD.

In the meantime, take a little listen to ADELE and her ditty Rolling in the Deep:

Even her video is awesome.

Seeing as it is the last day of the Victoria Day long weekend (yahoo Canada), I must get back to painting. I'd love to finish that ceiling today.

What are you doing on your long weekend? Do you get a long weekend?

Covered in white,

Sunday Update: Moving Onward or Upward

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Sun, 22 May 2011 20:44:00 +0000

"What's up with you lately?"

An innocent but loaded question as of late.

What am I doing right now? Watching the Vancouver-San Jose game.

What am I doing this week? Painting some walls. For the first time. Yep, you got it, this girl is getting her newly painted nails a little bit dirty. Well, hopefully not that dirty - white isn't my colour (and I don't think polish remover does much with paint).

What am I doing this month? Moving. A month ago, the Newf lost his job. A week later The Parentals advised they were looking to rent out their basement apartment. We made the executive decision to jump on the opportunity. Between our general dislike for the city of Toronto, and the ease of my transferring to a school in London it seemed like an obvious choice.

This move has been a humbling process, and I don't quite know how I feel about it yet. To secure my mind in the positive, I've decided to make a list of my pros and cons:

First, the pros:

1.) We will likely save a pretty penny on rent. Once the Parentals advise of the rental fee, I can confirm this, but it almost guaranteed the rent will be less than the cost of our studio apartment in the Toronto Beaches.

2.) I get to paint. Something about playing with colour gets me a little hot and bothered.

3.) Our place is a separate apartment, so theoretically the loss of privacy will be minimal.

4.) My younger brother, Jake, lives upstairs. At five years my junior he makes me feel young again.

5.) We really, really like the city of London. The tiny village I grew up in is a mere thirty minutes away, so I know what I'm getting myself into.

6.) It has a classy address. Sorry kids, I can't post it here, but I can assure you that I'm not living on a street that makes you do a double take. Nope, no Piccadilly Street for me; and yes, that superficial fact matters to me.

7.) I can (theoretically) transfer with ease to a photography program here in London. Once I get in, I will have 24/7 access to a full photography studio.

8.) My new apartment is complete with a wet bar. It has a beautiful polished wood bar that makes my liver tingle with excitement (my liver has always erred on the side of danger).

With this extensive list, let's look at the cons:

1.) We have to move. All of that cleaning, packing and unpacking is so much work. Once you include the address changes to that equation my eye starts to twitch.

2.) While it is a separate apartment with tons of potential, it is in the Parentals' basement. At twenty six (almost twenty seven) it is a humbling process. Not to mention a younger sister who is looking for apartments double my rent, and a little green monster is making a certain appearance.

3.) Despite the separate space, I am sharing the overall home with family. My family is cool, but they are still my family. Point made.

4.) My dog has suddenly turned into our dog. It isn't a matter that people are trying to lay claim to my furry friend, but more a fact that my family of dog lovers all have a different way of doing things. In my house, my dog is not allowed to sleep on the bed or sit on the couch. He is not fed from the table, even if he is really working the "I'm-sad-and-hungy" look. I keep tight restraints on his amount and type of exercise. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees and my carefully laid consistency has gone out the window. But, when your dog tops the scale at 140 pounds, can easily set his head on the table and has heartbreakingly bad elbow dysplasia we can talk. I'm going to have to let go a little bit, and I hate that.

5.) With its close proximity to my hometown, it is almost guaranteed that I will run into someone I know. Odds are, it will be a day I have not showered and am covered in paint.

6.) I have never painted. This could be a disaster.

7.) With my newfound geographical closeness to my immediate family I must begin to assert myself a little bit more. With anyone else a quick passive aggressive response would do, but I'm stuck with these people for life. The process is sure to ruffle some feathers, on both sides of the fence.

8.) It will be much more difficult to feign ignorance to all the nasty little tidbits of information I have on my siblings. Being the oldest of three, I tend to hear about everything the siblings do not have the guts to voice to the Parentals. Sometimes it is very rewarding. Right now it frustrating. Something about being expected to provide sympathy for a sibling who has provided the unabridged story six months ago is a little bit trying. I need to learn to walk away. I hate that too.

At first glance it may seem that this list is pretty even keeled. I may be crying over spilt milk. But, that is all resolved with the last listed pro. My new place has a wet bar. I have a pile of liquor and a hot husband. I have a brother who encourages intoxication.

Things will work themselves out. I can't say the same for the painting.

What are you working through right now?

Humbly at home,

DUKE NUKEM (Forever)

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Thu, 19 May 2011 05:43:00 +0000

Earlier today (or yesterday, if you want to get technical) the Newf and I went for a drive around town.

We ended up shopping for some games for the Newf's new Nintendo DSi.

He got incredibly excited when he saw that the "DUKE NUKEM: Forever" game finally has a release date.

He got so excited, the Newf showcased his sensitive side:

It's a rare occasion, so it needed to be marked. To celebrate we purchased a "Happy Birthday" slab cake which we brought home to a house filled with the Parentals, the sister and brother. It was complete with smiling flowers, bumble bees and a GIANT sun.

There was no birthday, but there was cake.

Then, the Newf got drunk. I painted my nails. It was a good day.

How was yours?

Seeping with silly,

The Cursing Ceiling

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Tue, 17 May 2011 03:33:00 +0000

I'm fed up.

Wait, no, let me rephrase that. I'm fucking fed up.

Whew. That feels better. I've been told to speak my mind and today in this odd blogging world and I've been slightly nervous. The things I think aren't always becoming; they are thoughts that won't always make friends, but they usually influence people.

Today a good f-bomb was all that was needed to break that meek little mouse ceiling. Sometimes, if I don't say it, no one will. Don't say I didn't warn you.

What naughty little habit do you have to clear your cobwebs?

When something a little stronger is needed, and a stiff drink is unavailable, try throwing a phone book at the floor. A trick learned from my mother, it usually does the trick.

Happy hurling,

The Tempur-Pedic Tantrum

noreply@blogger.com (Linnie) — Mon, 16 May 2011 05:34:00 +0000

Good morning.

It's been a long time, my friends.

It all started with a tantrum I threw.

You would have been so proud.

It all started with an idea I had. It was an original idea - a good idea. Apparently it was so good that many felt the need to copy it. And so, like an original Xerox machine the idea was used and abused until it was streaky and just not pretty at all.

Then, I had a tantrum. I refused to put out any more original ideas, saving all my best material for those who would follow the proper channels and all of the rules.

Then, I remembered that I may be a bitch, but I'm not a bureaucrat.

So, I'm back. For now. Lord only knows when I'll get grumpy again.

Beating the bureaucrat,