Lin's Column

2018 - A Year of Strength & Love

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Fri, 11 Jan 2019 11:04:00 +0000

My last post was about a year ago. I have too many social media to maintain. Not necessarily mine. It was one of the work I do now. So I really find no time to maintain this one.

Anyway, some important moments are recorded in Instagram, so that one day I can look back and be reminded on that particular day, special and important days.

2018 has been challenging for Henki and I. But I would say we come out of it stronger than ever.

March, Snorkeling under the Majestic Mt Agung

It was a life changing year to both of us. I can't even judge for myself how it really had been.
So we are starting the Jan 1, 2018 in Japan. In Shibuya to be exact. That night no fancy dinner, we had had almost 8 days of Japanese meals by then and we finally found ourselves inside McDonalds, eating its burger, facing the window, looking out to the Tokyo street. Nothing sorry about it. It was quite a good meal. And a memorable one. We even thought about having McD again in Bali last 31st Dec 2018. :p

Going Back to Routines
We went back to our routines. Henki at his (old) office, swamped with works and tackled it well there but always drained coming back home. I (master) juggling in between "Office" works and housework. Enjoy both and am getting much better at both now.

Proudest Ama

We did our trip to our hometown for CNY. I spent longer time with Grandma and decision that I made scarifying all the meet up with friends in Medan, but will do it all over again. Because that was my last time holding her hands, sitting on the floor beside her bed, accompanying her sleeping, while I did my work on my computer. Helping so little to ease her suffering from lost eyesight and movement ability. She passed away in June 24, 2018. I didn't make it home for her funeral. I cried my heart out every single day until her funeral day, but no regret at all. Because when she lived, I have been there, as much as I could, as a married granddaughter should be, be in service to my own family like she always did and I know she understood.

About a month before that Henki has lost her a po too. I had never gotten the chance to meet her. We lost both our last grandmas.

Then the new routine...
Life was as normal as it can be until one day in May, Henki came back home late, looking sad and never to return to his (old) office for a real work anymore. He resigned, decided to reject all the offer that the company tries to give him. Just like that the year that he thought his team will bring the company to achieve its budget, Gone! His team threw a farewell dinner for him. The team that he is super proud of, not only for the job well done, but for all the goodness in each one of them that he can now call friends. When it is official, I cried, angry, not sad. As I think he deserved better. He stayed strong, at first.

From here I learnt, Good? Bad? Who knows... Life keeps moving forward. We learnt so much during the 7 months he was home with me. I hope the lesson stayed with us, forever, because it is so valuable. Looking back, I don't see it as a total bad thing, I have never lost my pride in him, nor respect. Of course there are times when it was super hard, when I was tired, hormonal changes in certain period of the months, but we got through it, loving more than ever. I think.

He got the chance to rest after a long 5 years working like a cow and a horse (... as the Chinese saying) for someone and an institution that I have long thought do not deserve him. In between my feeling of insecurity at first, I find peace and I find so much strength in me. I am my parent's daughter. No Doubt!

Life Changing Moment
If that was not life changing enough, we encounter another life changing moments in the last quarter of our 2018. Only those who love us enough know how we struggle through it. You who do not know, might not strong enough to handle this news. =p As usual, I don't stay long dwelling in misery. My reaction is always stronger than Henki, but I recover much faster too. Henki recovers from this too, eventually. We would like to thank all the people who stay loving us during the hardship and shines the lights at the end of the tunnel in driving us out of the darkness. It was not God. It is those People who has Godly characters in them. Who loves us as we are. They are family, they are some great friends.

Christmas Breakfast 2018

To say that those are life changing moments, I also would like to be reminded that life is always changing, no matter how small no matter how big the event is. 2018 has not been easy, but again as Ajahn Brahm said "Pushing the wheelbarrow is easy, Thinking about it is the hard part." This year I put that into use so more than ever, never losing sleep to worry, but to excitements towards ideas and of course some back and body ache because of hormonal change during the menstruation period. Blah!

To Summarize 2018, I felt loved than ever (not that I was not loved before, I have never lacked of love, NEVER, so full of it!!!) But this year, I have seen how our families and close friends been there always for us. And I have been proud to both of us.

Henki has started new challenge and I am sure he will conquer it, like he always does.
I, just living my life. Super busy and in need of vacation (going to get it in Feb) and grateful of all the opportunities offered this year and still coming as the 8 changes to 9.

Both of us are not religious, spiritual in some ways, but this year a few quotes had made the journey much easier for me, hope it will for you too:

- "Good? Bad? Who Know."
- "The devil says 'I kill just one. Fear kills thousands.' Fear NOT!
- "Know your worth and others' too..." You are not more and you are not less. Be respectful.

My dad and mom have super wisdom too for their almost 140 living years, combined, They said: "Human will not always be on top, there will be the time that we are low at the bottom. Don't have to stress it out. Have to keep being happy." So much love.

I hope you all will have a wonderful 2019, like I believe we will~

Til another new year?! =D

#2018to2019

Pendidikan!

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Sun, 21 Jan 2018 03:38:00 +0000

Happy New Year ALL!!!

Telat yah? Tahun in nothing to recap, no grand resolution, kita jalani saja yah...

Kemarin partner ku bertanya, “Kamu rasa mana yang paling asik, Setelah pernah bekerja di dunia medis, perhotelan, spa, restoran…” Sebelum dia menyelesaian pertanyaannya, aku langsung mau menjawab “sama saja...” Tapi begitu dia berikan pilihan terakhir “dan edukasi?” Jawabanku langsung berubah. “EDUKASI!” In tidak diragukan lagi. Personally, Aku senang berinteraksi dengan anak-anak yang pada umumnya masih polos, tulus dan tidak penuh politik (walau sekarang banyak juga yang sudah ter”polusi” oleh content-content di dunia maya yang mereka tonton).

Kenapa edukasi? Banyak sekali alasannya.

Mungkin pengaruh paling besar adalah dari Orang Tua. Mama ku yang sekarang sudah berumur 67 masih juga beranggapan kalau dulunya beliau diberi kesempatan yang sama seperti saudara-saudara laki-lakinya, beliau percaya kalau akan lebih banyak kesempatan “emas” yang mungkin akan terpapar kepada nya, again who knows apa yang bisa terjadi pada manusia kan? Tapi memang banyak kebenaran didalam “kepercayaan” itu.

Aku adalah contoh paling dekat, lahir di kampung kecil, aku bangga dan berani bilang “masa kecilku bahagia”. Waktu dengan orang tua dan kerabat dekat itu tidak pernah kurang, dari sana aku belajar tentang arti keluarga.

Aku mulai masa Taman Kanak-kanak ku karena aku minta. Moving on sekolah dasar dimulai diusia lebih muda dari teman-teman lainnya, dimana aku sempat ditolak karena usia “belum mencukupi”. Tapi orang tua yang fight agar aku bisa jadi “anak bawang” saja, akhirnya aku diterima, aku habiskan tidak memusingkan masalah pelajaran, tapi practical life skill untuk anak-anak pada umumya, misalnya bersepeda, memanjat pohon, membantu orang tua, bersosialisasi dengan teman-teman yang berbeda suku dan agama (pertama kali aku belajar untuk tidak minder walau suku minoritas), dan juga menyelesaikan masalah anak-anak pada umumnya.

Tingkat selanjutnya, sekolah menengah aku lalui di sekolah baru di kota kecil tetangga. Adaptasi pasti, tidak hanya pada tingkat pelajaran yang lebih sulit, tapi juga belajar beradaptasi pada pandangan orang-orang kota kecil ini terhadap “anak kampung”. Ini tahap kedua aku belajar “bangga” karena anak kampung tidak ‘kalah’ dengan anak-anak kota dan yang aku sering bilang ke penghina “Kenapa? Emank nya air joman berutang pada kalian?” So much pride in that rhetorical questions. Tapi disini juga aku betemu lifetime besties! Blessed~

Selanjutnya pindah ke kota besar Medan untuk jenjang pendidkan lebih tinggi, percaya atau tidak orang memandang sebelah mata karena kami “orang kota kecil”, bahasa ku memiliki aksen “kampungan”, cara berpakaian kami tidak cukup stylish. Pengaruhnya ke diriku, tidak banyak! Masa kecil yang super, loving family and friends dan focusing on doing well in education, membuat aku tidak pusing dengan pandangan rendah orang. Peduli amat! Aku sibuk dengan hidup ku yang banyak harus ku syukuri.

Moving on to Kuala Lumpur, for a better education quality, banyak juga tantangannya. Yang tidak bisa lepas adalah saat negara lain memandang mereka lebih tinggi, itu sudah pasti. Aku sudah tanggap menghadapi masalah ini, sudah dari dulu soalnya, kalau orang kisaran memandang rendah anak kampung, orang medan memandang rendah anak kisaran, orang jakarta memandang rendah orang medan, orang Malaysia memandang rendah orang Indonesia, apa yang kamu lakukan? Peduli amat, Proof them wrong. Di masa-masa ini aku belajar rasa nasionlisme, campur aduk akan "rusak" dan "indah" nya negara kita.

Untuk pendidikan lanjut, pada saat itu memang Malaysia bukan tujuan utama, pengennya Australia, tapi karena financial status yang hanya dalam kategori “CUKUP”, I grab that opportunity. Mom and Dad had to sell our car to get me my education! Sad, but I just have to be out from Medan. Oh.. jangan salah sangka, Medanese punya banyak kelebihan, kekeluargaan adalah salah satunya, tapi layaknya manusia, Medanese juga punya kekurangan.

Ke Kuala Lumpur, travelling sendiri dengan strangers dan tidak diantar orang tua. Wah, banyak sekali air mata yang bercucuran dan lebih dari itu Courage adalah yang aku banggakan. Keeping my eye on graduating well, 2 tahun enjoying learning dan friendships, I graduated with first degree with honour and awarded as an outstanding student untuk major kami pada saat itu. All of those things for my parents. Masa kuliah itu, susah banget, banyak kentang dan wortel yang aku konsumsi karena mau hemat. Haha… Kerja part-time di mall jual sausage berdiri 8 jam sehari. Tapi dari masa-masa itu aku belajar juga tentang rasa syukur untuk teman-teman yang membantu, yang meminjamkan laptop baru nya agar FYP ku selesai sempurna, yang meminjamkan uangnya karena kiriman ku dari orang tua belum datang, oh.. banyak tenan yang membantu. Terima kasih.

Moving to Singapore, mencari kerja. Ini juga journey yang penuh air mata. Masa aku graduate adalah masa economic downturn, 2008. Traveling to Singapore dari Malaysia dengan bus dengan seluruh barang bawaan yang berat (I wonder how I did it), tapi disana juga banyak strangers yang membantu, offering to help me carry. Cried myself to sleep and woke up focusing on using what I have learned and earned di Kisaran, di Medan, di Kuala Lumpur untuk get me a job opportunity. 3 bulan dan akhirnya I landed ditangan yang benar, company yang benar, boss yang benar dan kesempatan belajar yang benar! Disini juga aku realize my dream untuk berilmu hingga ke negri Cina. I fund myself to have a taste of China. one of the BEST time of my life!

From then on, the education continues, in the people I met, in the places I visit, in the film I watched, in the books I read, in the problems I solved, in the problem I didn't solve, in the heart break I felt, in the positive feedback I received and so on.

Untuk diriku Pribadi, pendidikan ku starts dari rumah, dari keluarga, gimana cara respect orang tua, gimana kita sayang dengan anak-anak tanpa memanjakanya, lalu ke society, gimana berdiri kukuh tidak memandang tinggi tapi juga belajar tidak rendah diri darimana kita datangnya karena pada dasarnya manusia semua adalah sederajat, belajar kalau diatas langit masih ada langit, dan belajar seperti kata papa hidup kita adalah roda kadang diatas kadang dibawah, belajar bahwa there is so much beauty in all the struggles that we conquered, dari keadaan sulit belajar untuk tidak pahit pada kehidupan, oh.. masih panjang pelajarnnya.

Balik lagi apakah semua hardwork itu berguna sekarang? I am not even “working” now.

Pendidikan untuk aku sekarang mungkin lebih dari bangku sekolah. Yeah, those are ‘fine’ time where we would be tested untuk lihat apakah kita menyerap atau hanya going through with the motion? Tapi bangku pendidikan formal itu tidak menunjukkan jalan untuk diriku, bangku pendidikan formal kalau di jalani dengan benar, itu sparks interest, memberikan sedikit rasa untuk begitu banyak hal didunia ini. Kalau you are fortunate enough, well-educated parents might know how to guide you towards one goal and one goal only. Tapi kalau seperti orang tua ku yang tidak begitu fortunate untuk mengecap pendidikan tinggi, yang mereka pun hati yang besar dan pikiran yang terbuka, mereka open enough to let me taste what they never had. Aku tidak kalah beruntungnya, karena aku diberi kebebasan untuk memilih. Even kadang salah jalan pun, tetap aja ada mereka di belakangku, ini karena mereka tau “Pendidikan (dalam segala bentuk) itu Penting”

Where was I?

Yeah… Aku masih milih dunia pendidikan sebagai yang terbaik yang pernah aku jalanin (dan akan aku jalani lagi), for all of the benefits it has for me and will have for me in the future. I want others to have their life changed because of “positive” education experience too.

Sekarang pun, doing marketing, tujuan utama ku adalah “edukasi”. Mengedukasi customers untuk think smart, buy smart and consciously make smart purchasing decision. (Maybe, that’s why I am a bad sales person!) =D

May you have a blessed Sunday ~

#Ocehan

Teaching Mandarin to Children below 7yo

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 30 Aug 2017 05:45:00 +0000

This is going to be one long post. I am not teaching or providing guidelines how to teach children, but I am sharing my experience. I have no degree in education or early childhood education and am no longer dealing with kids now, so you can say I might not be the most credible source that you can get, but here I am sharing my experience on what worked and what not, sharing my "brilliant ideas" and those ideas that I had to flush down to the toilet, sharing my love and frustration when dealing with those little creatures, particularly in teaching Mandarin.

For teachers
1. Know where you want to be.
For teachers, it is important to be aware of what you are good at and what you are not very good at. I myself not good in a corporate setting, I can't deal with 'politics' in general, thus private settings are the best for me, because sadly I noticed that even at school, politics exist among the teachers. How many times in the past one and half years I was offered to go back to teach in school, I had to heavy-heatedly turned them down. Unhealthy, because so much of energy is wasted on that rather than preparing better materials for the students. That's just one of the reasons for me not to go back to the schools (might change in the future, who knows?).

The other reason is that I might not be the most cooperative teacher in executing what's the schools/government have decided to do for the kids. Let's not talk about the curriculum in general, let's just talk about the choice of books used. Some schools did choose great books (in my opinion), but some others made the very bad choice, the first time I came back and started teaching, I was book hunting for reference books, but I am so disappointed and amused at the quality of the books published here in Indonesia. So many basic errors in the books. Just a few days ago, a neighbor showed me a book used by her kid, the title of the first chapeter is "你家的电话号码是多少？" I am not going into explaining the mistake, but for those who understand it is more appropriate to ask "你家的电话号码是几号？" The only difference is in the last 2 characters. This is just one of the mistakes in books that I have seen so far, we have so many more. Sad...

I am one of those people who will want to set things right when they are not right, I do not like to bow down to people because they are my "boss". Not many people can take this, those who can have real big hearts to accept me. With that "bad" characters, I make sure I am doing my best in things that I am doing. When I say I teach, I will teach for the benefit of my students, not to help the schools to make money. Thus, again, private setting is the best for me, FOR NOW. Yeah, I am not very flexible and not grown up some people might say. That's fine.

2. Know Your Strength
In general, I am bad in memorizing things. In Mandarin, I am bad in writing and memorizing thus beautiful idioms and proverbs. Thus, my Chinese isn't those "hi-tech" Chinese. It is very simple and conversational Chinese, layman Chinese.

The report that I wrote and chosen to be presented when I was in China titled "美丽的上海", no fancy title, no fancy content, good enough to convey my experience and feeling, particularly

However, I am very good in "rationalizing" what others are saying, so listening is not an issue for me. I also have the benefit of early exposure to the language thus my tongue has no problem pronouncing words in Mandarin properly. I also have to boast a little that I am very creative too (very useful with kids), but not very patient in certain circumstances (bad quality to have). Lastly, I am childish, in both positive and negative ways. If I want to look it more positively, I can play like a child, thus this works well with kids. I like to play with playdough (which most kids like too), I like art and craft (again, most kids love crafting too), and if you ask me to play hide and seek I might be enjoying it too. Hahaha... But again liking is something, being good at them is another thing. That's fine!

Contrary, in negative ways, I sometimes very emotional in childish way. There were two times that I can recall, I cried teaching my students, feeling disappointed and hopeless. Some other teachers might be able to handle the situation better than I was, and I admit that and learn from it. Realizing this make me realize that teaching children with special needs might not be my strength.

In teaching, I think I am quite good with both kids and working adults. Somewhere in the middle, I am not quite sure as I do not have much experience here.

Knowing my strength help me to perform better at what I CHOOSE to do. Now, I learn not to spend my time reading those books about how to master public speaking. There are only two ways in doing good in speaking in public (including teaching); 1) know your materials, 2) do it more often. All things get better with times. Listen to constructive feedback not those negative downgrading criticisms. I am learning to filter things more now. :)

Knowing your strength means to acknowledge things that we are not very good at certain things too. I know that we are all trying to make a living, better in doing the things we love, but please if we are not very good at it, admit it. I am not good in writing (as in writing the characters using pen/pencil, but typing and forming sentences, beautiful ones, I have no issue with that.), I will make it known in advance.

By doing this, I think I am doing myself a favor, less upset tummy and stresses when I took up the job! I mean yes, we all can learn to be better, I can be better in my writing if I spend more time practicing, but I don't see the need for that now, as we type so much. But don't get me wrong, some others, depending on the nature of their works, might need to be good at writing. So again, depend...

What I am saying here, if we are teaching conversation, please make sure we are good at it. Here, I'd heard a radio advertisement of one of the schools in Bali and no matter how many times it played, I would still laugh and feeling amused at the ads. The student speaks better Mandarin than the teacher. I firmly believe that is not the radio announcer, that's the staff/teachers from the school. I am feeling sad about this.

Do you know why? I learn from my sister and niece that children do look up to their teachers. So there are times when teachers make mistake in class and do not bother to correct it, then it will affect the children too. There was one time my sis was correcting my niece's English, my niece insisted that the teacher said it's the other way and what the teacher said is RIGHT. After that I have to lecture my niece about think for herself about what's right and what's not. I am the tiger aunt after all.

So, as our moral duty, if we are not good at certain things, admit it and learn from it and don't afraid to say "I am not too sure. Let me look it up for you about this." then Look it up and get back to the students. I have positive experience about doing this with my students, both children and adults. However, if there are some people who looks for the perfect teacher who knows every single things, remember that they have the right to do that too. Don't take it personally.

That's for teacher. Now it's for parents.

For Parents
Parents have to understand that learning is a process, especially Language. For me it is a lifetime journey. If you realize even for our first language, we always get better with times, needless to say a foreign language. I always remember that when I was in China our home class teacher is one of the most respected on in that uni, he came in to the class with dictionary. When he wanted to give better explanation, he checked the dictionary. I respect him for that. He is our 黄老师。So while your kids makes a bit of progress in foreign language, don't feel hopeless. Remember that a professor and a native is still so humble to always bring a dictionary with him.

Parents have always one thing and one thing only to do that is to realize that Home is always #1 school for your children.

Parents, sending your kids to school, to tuition doesn't mean that your responsibility is fulfilled. I owed it to some of my good teachers (at school, at work and in life) that I turned out well enough now as a person. However, the best teachers I have is still my parents, my home!

Teachers of Life

Be more involved in your children's learning process, even in the things that you are not familiar with. For example, parents who do not speak Mandarin helps the kids in learning Mandarin. The best way to be involved is to give and get feedback from the teacher. Do it "moderately." As a teacher, I like getting feedback from the parents, I like when the parents said "she/he speaks to us in Mandarin and none of us understands" or when parents said "she/he is so scared every time coming to Mandarin class." I can work with those feedback. The first feedback means I am doing a good job and I have "easy" kids to deal with. The latter feedback means I need to adjust something in my way of teaching for that particular kid. The tips for parents, when giving feedback to the teacher is to be as diplomatic as possible. Teacher is human too "Guru juga Manusia". Don't keep on criticizing, praise then gently criticize. We teachers take it better that way, or at least for me. =D

This is from one of the students who were "scared" when it's Chinese lesson. With parents' feedback and cooperation, she has done so much better at the end when I leave Medan for Bali.

I learn this from my 3 years of teachings kids (not long but very valuable lessons I got), that the parents who are involved more in the learning drive me as a teacher to do better for the kids and in turn the kids perform better. Those parents do not care as much, shows less progress. At home, always look for progress in your children and acknowledge that, even the slightest one. I have to learn this the Buddhist way, "Focus on the good and it will grow!" Be aware not to over praise though. There is trick in praising too. Some praise encourage, some other praises discourage the kids to do better. You need to understand the kids and the "right" way for them. Often, it needs to be customized from one kids to another. Parents might have a better understanding on this better than I am.

Focus on the good qualities in each kid

Narrow it down to things that I have done in the past for kids under 7 years old, pick those that are suitable for you. Remember that "There is no exact science in teaching. Teaching is an art."

1. Write or Not to Write?
My interest in this was intrigued by a parent. I did my research and since then think logically for myself that I won't be focusing on teaching the kids under 7 to write , definitely not under 5. The most that I will do is to color (lots of it), while they color, we teacher can talk to them about anything, in Mandarin, training their listening skill. Don't think they don't understand, children understand all things in life better than us! (exaggerating :p)

Coloring and teaching the names of objects, from here we learn about which kids have that artistic side, which kids are not.

However, expert can say all things that they want, studies can show all the findings, but teachers and parents have to adjust the fact to the kids. If they want to, why not? But if they do not want, don't force. Especially teacher, do not threaten the parents about not advancing the kids to the next level because he/she can't write. This happens to my nephew. He is smart in so many ways, but not the kids who sit still and listen to "boring" talk of a "teacher". My nephew was still 5 then. Oh yeah, I was pissed!

About writing, have you seen anyone who have been to school and can't write alphabets? You haven't right? Even those who have not been in school, when they are in the age when they have better motoric skill, they can copy every curve of the letter just fine. So don't worry about it.

Forcing kids to do something make the kids hate it in the long run, and it doesn't benefit teacher nor parents and definitely not the kids. I learn this the hard way, I was a tutor before. Tuition is seen as a mean to complement the schools. Thus, I was trying very hard to prepare the kids to catch up the materials in school, which I personally despise. Then, I have a few kids whom I can see transform from loving to liking then to almost hating the subject, Mandarin in this case. It is something upsetting to see.

If you are in school setting that provides you with books that need to be completed and there are writing elements in it, be prepare to fight! Know your subject and crystallize your goals for the kids and make it known to the school management/principal/head of department. Especially in Bali, Mandarin as one of the subject in school is just a way for the school to PROMOTE their school. Once or twice a week, half an hour session, for me it is good but FAR from enough. Especially for those kids who are still young, calming then down, warming them up for the session might already takes fifteen minutes, especially you are alone in charge of 20 plus kids. GOOD LUCK!

But when come to the time they want to write, you can start from the very easy characters. Then tell stories about the Chinese characters. Stories always a good medium for kids (even for me) to learn things and remember them better. For this you can do research on the origin of the characters (as all Chinese characters are from logogram) or you can just make up your own to generate interest. For example, I sometimes describe 四 as a window with a curtain. The story evolves depending on the kids' interest. But some of the story must stay true and factual, especially those characters that will be used as the radical or known as 偏旁。So that your story is consistent and continuous to avoid confusion.

Or for each characters you want them to write prepare some activities to go along with it too. Writing activities don't always have to be on the book, kids like to imitate the teachers. Ask them to step to the front of the class and write on the whiteboard with a marker, just like what the teacher (you and I) are doing. I bet they must be very very very proud and willing to do that. At first might not all are enthusiast about this, but I bet, when one starts, others will follow!

Write and then do some activities

2. Listen, Kiddos!
They said even when a baby is still inside of a mother, they are already listening. Thus, some mom-to-be exposes the baby to classical music and say all the loving things to the baby.

Language skill (not speaking ability) can apply the same thing too, in my opinion. Teacher should speaks more often to them, especially if the teacher is the only person who interact with the kids in Mandarin. Remember to use proper Mandarin.

I am a firm believer of gathering as many vocabularies as possible for someone to be able to be good at one language. We can be super in memorizing the use of grammars, etc, but when you don't have the words to describe your feeling, all those grammars are at no use. Again, my personal opinion.  I personally like to repeat things I say.

When I say "Zǎoshànghǎo" (good morning) to kids who first started their Mandarin lesson with me, I will repeat it a few times and translate and explain it to the kids first language. And as all greetings, I will want the kids to respond to my greeting too. This is where a bit of moral lesson is introduced. First you might not get what you want, it might take you a few tries if not a lot before you succeed. The key is to repeat what you want them to learn as much as possible, as early as possible so that it form a pattern and the kids will get it somehow. Thus it is important to introduce good things from the very beginning before the bad habits formed.

For example, when I want them to learn to keep their own things in the bag, I will say "把书收在书包里”， I will then say "书包" and show them the bag, for them to make the correlation between words said and the object. This will NOT work just one time, do it every time you see them, it will apparently register. Warning: there are times when some kids do not even know how to put things in bag and zip them up properly, be patient. That’s another practical life skill lesson that you can help the kids with. So teaching Mandarin is never about just the language, at least for me.

A bit of Science in Mandarin class. I too learnt here...

To "shorten" the learning process, I often translate the words to the language that they are familiar with. "书包" = bag/tas. Again, say it a few times, especially when you first introduce it to the kids. Then REMEMBER to use that words you taught again in the next meeting, as often as you can, do it for about a week or a month (depending on the kids, the frequency of meeting) then observe. If they have gotten the ideas, use it as necessary only and you can do a review every end of the month or every other weeks, or whenever you think necessary. REPETITION is the key. It is teachers' job to decide how much you should repeat. Other ways of learning more vocabularies are through songs and story telling or in Chinese we have 儿歌. In doing this, I am the kind of teacher who is very expressive, HEBOH in Bahasa Indonesia， both in my facial expression or in the volume of my voice. I am trained to "scolding" my nephew and nieces, so I am very LOUD. However, I need to acknowledge that some teachers can do it calmly, and still manage to convey the message and get the kids to learn, so find what works for you.

Every interaction with the kids are "extraordinary" for me. When I praise them with the word "wow" I don't just do "WOW", but I do "WOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!" with both eyes bulging, in good kind ways. Oh I have seen some teachers who encourage with a very gentle "wow" and get the kids blushing and more encouraged than ever, so again personal style! Remember an art not an exact science.

Start by focusing on those words that we might use daily. Forget about the kids must be able to count 1 - 10, must be able to recognize colors, etc. For, me, I first teach about whatever objects in their schoolbags, the things they wear, the things they need to say when they want to use the bathroom, the dustbin (kids need to learn not to litter), about the birds or butterfly that stops by in our house's garage or even the type of weather, or sometimes, I take out the content of my fridge and start teaching.

If you insist want to teach color, then do it more creatively. Use all the things you have in hands. You can also ask the children to stand up and find things around the class/room that is in color that you are currently discussing. Children who do not sit still are normal! I am not patient about it at times too. But we just have to learn. But again, we can be firm about certain "rules" in class" and for all the "rules" followed, reward them with FUN activities!

When the kids are not in the mood at times, I sometimes let them choose on what to learn, limit your option though, be firm about certain things, this motivates them and teach them to be responsible to what the things that they have chosen to do.

In listening, better to have props to draw attention. I once was overwhelmed by a class of crying babies as the parents started to leave them by themselves in class, when I sang no one was interested. So, I get the idea to make a felt finger puppet, that are thematic and suits the songs. For example, I sew a few tiger finger puppets, one without eyes, without tail, etc to accompany the song "两只老虎”. As I took out the finger puppets, the kids are started to get interested, then promise them to play with it (and let them play with it, keep your promise), if they sing together with you and before I know it, they were singing louder than me!

I am not against gadget to aid learning. But I make sure I guide the use of gadget and limit them as necessary. When I want to show them a story, I make sure I don't just let them watch, I pause from time to time, then put the story in a simpler language and highlight on certain vocabularies in it before moving on to the next part of the story. Often I ask them to repeat the story for me, ask them about the meaning of vocabularies that I highlighted before. Repeat this until you think you no longer needs to pause the video, it's the indication for me that I am done with that story and need to find something else new.

The pace of teaching is varied from one kids to another. Thus, even kids on the same level might learn different things in my class. This is a challenge for school teacher. Observe and see how the pace of the majority of the students and always prepare "something extra" for those who are slower or who are faster.

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Gosh... So long... To be continued... Not all those things are gonna work for every teacher and definitely not every kid. So we all just can be more observant and put lots of effort in implementing what might works and be prepare to drop it when it doesn't work as expected. Oh yeah, my first session with a 2,5 years old kid was embarrassing, running around chasing her to look at the book that I had prepared, under her mom's watch. But this parent is a great one, and that 2,5 years old is one of my success story, someone who has boost my confidence and teach me what I need to learn.

All the best!!!

The many 'faces' of many things

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Sun, 13 Aug 2017 05:09:00 +0000

Yesterday, as we riding our motorbike to get some afternoon snacks, we passed by a Go-jek rider. He was looking at his phone, then looking left and right (most likely looking for an address) and in that moment forgot to look at the most important thing on street, the traffic. I assume he expected people to notice him and to not hit him. But out of the many people who noticed him and had the time to make the rational decision to avoid hitting him, there are those, one or two, who might not, who were just like him, not paying attention to the traffic. Looking at that, I was a bit upset. At that moment, they are the hazard on the road.

But there are also many many times that Gojek services had helped me, and many others out there. Making things convenience for the users and very cost effective comparing it to the conventional version of "ojek".

Again, from the traditional ojek riders' point of view, Go-jek is the reason their income slowly decreases and their family might have to suffer a bit because of that. Go-jek and many others online transportation mediums are a form of betrayal to the country, its culture and to them, the rider known as Tukang Ojek.

That is only one matter that we are discussing, we can see it from so many angles, so many perspectives, so many different point of views.

To think about it, all things in life have the many faces. Depends on how we want to look at it.

Source: http://meetmisso.com/

I was just in "discussion" with my partner, in which he saw that not as a discussion but rather an "argument". That night he came home late from work and exhausted I assumed, then we were talking about something about his job, then I asked more questions in order to get more details so that I can understand the overall picture of the situation. Then, as I asked more questions, he was losing his patience in explaining things and got upset and gave up. I too decided not to "prowl" further and rest the case there. The next day he told me nicely that I shouldn't be arguing with him about things when he was already tired from work. I understand his point there. However, I also made it known to him that it is never me that irritated him, its his feeling. Because if I were to asked questions when he is not tired, he will patiently explain it and be more receptive towards different opinion on the subject we discuss and normally he will do a better job in getting the messages through.

And it is not in my nature to just go with whatever people say. My brain has its way of thinking too. There are times that we don't see things eye to eye, but I will make him admit that there are times my way of thinking "inspire" him. Voila!

In this case, what I expected him to understand is to be more mindful of himself and the questions I asked are never meant to go against him, it is just he and I most of the time have different ways of looking at things, different ways in getting things done. None are the best way, but it is a better way simply because we are comfortable about it. So, we cannot force one and only one thing to be the "Divine".

On other matters, about the performing the role of mothers. There are no one right or wrong way in doing it. Some women choose to stay home and raise their kids themselves, with many consideration. Some women choose to go back to work and pay for help to raise their kids and try their best to spend quality time with their kids whenever they can. Many women pro the first and many women pro the latter. What's best? Nothing is best. At that moment, when the option is made by them and the family, it is just a better option giving all their life circumstances.

Every and each one of that woman have their consideration and with it sacrifices they made. The first sacrifices their work life (many smart women stay home to take care of the family) and the opportunity to show their best in the career of their dream (you never know!), as the latter group of women have to scarify missing the most important moment of their children, the first words, the first step, and the companion they wish they can give, but unable to do so, when the children are sick. Some might say that it's an option. She can stay home when the children need her, but what if no one helps in putting food on the table? Who know that part of her life? You and I don't.

Then, about raising kids. Some prefer home schooling, some others more conventional way of education, send them to school and let the professional, so called Teacher, to do their job. Which one are better? None! All have its pro and cons. You choose yours and let others choose theirs. Don't judge.

Sex before marriage with your partner? It is your choice in life. We are all grown up, we know the consequences and we must be brave enough to deal with the consequences of our action. Respect people for that!

For me, accepting others way of living isn't always an easy thing to do to be honest. There are times that I trying so hard to understand why certain people do certain things? For example, until now I am still in my quest to understand Adolf Hitler. Extreme!

Not judging is one thing easy to say than done. So the one thing I can do is try to understand. Playing reasons with myself, and all those things have to be done with compassion mind. Maybe some will say, you can just try not to care, not to bother, the question is "What if the person's action affects you in one way or another?" And you might have better answer for this than what I have.

Again, that's just the mane faces of many things.

Happy Weekend~

Into a new place, call Home~

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Fri, 28 Jul 2017 09:36:00 +0000

The past two weeks had been super crazy, both for me and Henki, for different reasons.

We had been in a new place for almost two weeks now (since the 16th of July 2017). It's a place we now call "home" with extra bedroom where we can accommodate family and friends when they are visiting. This is another hobby that I think I inherited from my family. Every Chinese new year, when all the BIG family make the trip back to hometown to visit grandma, there is never short of rooms to accommodate all of those people. House is always designed with extra bedrooms for guests! ALWAYS! I am talking about 30 people visiting for two nights. Of course it is not that luxurious stay where everyone gets a room of their own, it is more like those family stay where everyone cramp together "comfortably". Getting people to stay and "sleep" in your guestrooms is always a competition among the family. Whoever got more guests staying in their house is the "winner". Grandma who is now staying with my third uncle always win! =D

We had been planing to find a new place for a few months, but could only do the search during the weekends, when Henki is available to do other things than work. Until about 3 weeks ago, I made a few appointment by myself during the weekdays and did a viewing of a few houses by myself, taking videos recording of the place and area for Henki to see and calculate the time and distance from the house to Henki's workplace (the last thing I want is to add his exhaustion with the extra miles spent on the road getting home and going to work) Then, I found this one. I texted him "I think I have found it!" He didn't even have the chance to look at the place until the day we have to sign all the paper. It's still renting, by the way.

Never pick them from the tree. Always those which are already on the ground

So, here we are waking up to a room full of light and have been having a super good sleep, not sure it's from the exhaustion or from the different "feng shui" as they said. But yeah... Things are going well so far with the house. The owner (crossing my fingers) is quite flexible and decently nice. Hopefully it carries on til the very end of our contract here. What I love about the house is the garden. I pick up the flowers that fall to the ground everyday and use them to decorate the dining table. The dining table is not properly placed due to the design of the house, but for 2 of us, we are okay with that for now. And the good thing with its current position is that, every morning after Henki goes to work, I will just sit there alone, doing my things accompanied by the nice morning breeze and the green leaves (when we were little mom always asked us to go out and enjoy the blue sky and the green leaves, good for our eyes, she said). I do that everyday now.

"Leftover" chairs from the owner,

Gonna add a table and it's a nice hangout place in the morning and afternoon

Our bed room is good too. I love the natural lights! Super BRIGHT from early morning to about 6PM when the sun starts to set down. However, the living room is quite hot during the mid day. The only thing that I do not like.

Most of our Lives are not perfect. My life is not!

But I would like to see the good things in each day and be grateful about it. What better right?

Henki has been super busy with work (when was the last time he didn't?). So there are times when I was talking to the people whom I am working with and mentioned about Henki's work that require him to come home late and sometimes to work even during the weekend, the first thing that they ask me is "Does he bring you along during the working weekends? If he isn't, you should be suspicious." It's so low minded. The people don't even know him. Remind myself never to assume bad about people ever again! We never know how one's life is. Take care of your own!

As of me, I would like to learn from Mom. There was one time, when I was still in college, I was always home late. My aunt is super fed up with me, not sure what I am doing out there. She had good intention, she still cared for me. So she called my mom and said all the things that might make my mom worried. Then as you expected, my mom called me. Instead of scolding me, she said to me "I told yi ma (aunt) not to worry about you. I told him that you know what you are doing. You can take care of yourself. I trust you." How WISE! How can I betray that kind of trust, not asking, just trust. I treasure it! Until now!

So now, I would like to do the same with my partner. "Baby, thank you for working so hard out there. Don't let work consume you. Take care of yourself too. Take work as a game, we put our best in it, but still sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. That's the nature of life. Quoting Ajahn Brahm, When you can't do anything, do nothing. When you know you can do something, give everything you have got! I trust you and I love you."

That's pretty much about the past month.

I can't wait for September to come! I said "Wakes me up when September starts!" :)

New Hope,

Lin ^^

Henki & Linda's Second Quarter of 2017

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Tue, 04 Jul 2017 04:07:00 +0000

It's 10:56 and I have done cooking a dish for tonight, It's the Bak Kut Teh. I have also got paper marked and lunch prepared. What a productive morning. =D

Today woke up early, as Henki has officially starting his "budgeting" months, it's gonna be crazy for him for the next two to three months. Hang on, Baby! This too will pass, it always does. a minute at a time, an hour at a time, then one day at a time.

So, although I have not been writing much on this blog, the least that I could do is to keep up the quarterly "report".

Can you believe that half of 2017 is GONE! What have we used it for all this while?

Work
For me, the 3 months since April, nothing has happened much, as usual. My ex-colleague and now-friend had moved to Bali with her husband and her 2 year old boy. And as she finds things to "do" in Bali, we agree to start something small. If everything goes smoothly, we will start somewhere in August or September. It is something for kids, I am going back to where I started (not a bad thing). I thought I have lost the passion towards it, as I do research and read more and imagine how it will be, I actually got excited. Is it really my passion or is it just my character that got easily "excited and passionate" about almost anything that I am thrown at. Anyway, whatever it is that's just me doing the best that I can.

Company training is still on going now, the classes have gone quite well, I think. I have a bit of downtime towards the end of June as it was Lebaran and Bali is packed with people who are travelling from Java island and also it's the Australian school break. Thus, the island is crowded, so do the hotels and restaurants. And because they are understaff, the class is postponed and there I have my break.

Last month I have quit teaching the college students for various reasons, and the major one is that so that I can make time to focus on something else.

I also signed a very short contract to help a spa centre in Bali monitoring their listings on Chinese websites. Something that I can do from home, in between cooking and cleaning the house. It is only a 4 months contract, as I requested, to see if I am still into this thing. It's been almost a month. I am still hanging on despite the very irritating issue in "accessing" the Chinese website from Indonesia as well as a bit of company politics that they share with me, that if I am given an option care not to know.

Henki's work is FOREVER busy. He is under staff. He is in charge in Sales and Marketing but he is basically the Revenue Director too. That's the problem with big company, they exploit their worker to save cost (or whatever reason they have), demands a lot and giving so little. If we were ever be a business owner (finger cross), I hope we can be a better version of "leader". *Fingercrossed. Oh yeah, I am very hopeful.

Play/Food
We don't play much. >.< However, we enjoyed one another companion most of the time. There are times that we got bored too, of course, but many-many times we don't.

Within three months we only made it once to the beach. There I lost my dearest goggles and hit quite hard by the wave. Thus, due to much rest that Henki needs after all the hardwork during the weekdays, our play is normally food. =D

There are a few memorable weekend "culinary" experience that we had. One of them is at the Tony Roma's. I intended to write about it but find no time til now. The food is excellent, no doubt, considering the price. Hahaha.. What impressed us that night is that how "passionate" the staff seems like. It was someone birthday, so I guessed the girlfriend ordered a cake, the staff, 6-8 of them came out singing the birthday song, NOT the classic birthday song, where before the song ends, the singers' voice normally getting softer and softer. Hahaha. This is their version. I can't remember the tune, but I remember the feeling that I got from that song. It's very jolly! Then, it is not only one song, before the cake "reached" the table, there was another song. And what best is that the staff wasn't only singing, but some of them are playing a simple music instruments to accompany that song too...

And that's not the only best, a staff came out with Polaroid camera and took a picture of the couple with the cake and gave them the picture. And still, that's not it, another staff came out with a deck of card and entertained the couple n their table with simple magic trick. Imagine that! If you are not anti-social, I think you will find this experience memorable.

What impress us is not the 'entertainment', but how Tony Roma's manage to hire those staff that are very skillful and talented and passionate. That's just great!

Bad Month for anything Electronic
This month was bad for our phones (both of our iPhone got into the water). Mine still functions without any "treatment", Henki's dead, so he got it fixed. Then, my laptop started to make so much sound, but still functions well. So I am backing up files on Google Drive and Henki's laptop so that whenever it is dead on me, I am ready for it. *Finger crossed. Then, the car has broken down a few times. The car was "healthy" until we decided to get it "maintained" in an independent automobile repair shop. But after the maintenance, the car broke down 3-4 times before we called the Kia service center and get the necessary fixed. The car functions well now. Ahh.. these things really get me at times. However, as all things, these too will pass. :)

Life in General
The past three months was great. Oh yeah, End of April I was down for about a week with dengue fever, but I have recovered from it. Voila! Other than that, both of us have been quite healthy and happy. I hope I speak for him too =D

Someone said to me "You look so happy in Bali". I said "I can choose to complain about all things that are not going well, things that I am disappointing at, things that I wish for and don't get and dwell in all those negativity, but I won't. I choose another way of living, to be happy."

Of course, at times I "slip" and feel miserable too, but I don't let it get too far, too long, because it doesn't do me any good. So why continue to "slip" right?

加油
Love,
Lin ^ ^

It's not unexpected, It's Uncertainty

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Tue, 30 May 2017 02:40:00 +0000

This month has been full with surprising news. The latest was the news I received when I was teaching my last class in Mediterannean college. Last week, I heard one of my student had an accident. It was quite fatal, he was in coma for a week, til I asked today, how he was doing, his friends said that he had passed last Thursday.

He was only 20 and now he was gone. I believe he attended this school and considering the major he was in (food production), he may have a dream to become a cook, to work in a cruise line and travel the world one day. One decent kid, he is! And just in a blink of eyes, he was gone. May he rest in Peace.

Last two weeks, my good friend's father has just passed too. He was diagnosed from a terminal cancer exactly one month before he passed. Doctor gave him 3 - 6 months, and again, just like that he was gone in a month. 叔叔，安息吧

I might not be close to them, but I feel for them somehow. To that kid, I taught him, advised him to get a pair of glasses to help his eyesight, the last conversation I had with him was he sat beside me in instructor room and remind me his name when I forgot. He was in relationship with his classmate, it broke my heart when I saw her puffy eyes and making sentence like "I am waiting for you" in Chinese during my last class with them. To my friend's dad, he seems to be a traditional dad, his kids (my friend and her siblings) grow up well as a person, and for me it reflects their parents and one one them is him.

These things make me realize how temporary life is. When it is your time, then it is your time. You have no time to regret things that you had done and the things that you wish you have done. So, give your very best in every single things that you are doing. You may have no time to say "I love you" to people that matters, so say it often. You may have no time to say "sorry" to people that deserve them, so say it when you still can.

Things might appear to be unexpected at first, but thinking about it, it's just part of the "uncertainty", one of the most certain things in life!

May we all are blessed with a Peaceful Life.

About doing what matters

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 17 May 2017 03:56:00 +0000

Things have been going crazy in the country. I can't say it is totally bad, yet, it is bad, but again as in Yin and Yang, there is always a little good in bad things and a little bad in good things. This applies for human too. We will not see one perfect human who is all good and we will not see one broken human who is all bad. At times it is the way we react to it that determines something.

Not only in Indonesia, things have been going crazy too for me. I have many broken electronic! I planned to fix my camera, It is a Canon, it still functions just fine, however the rotating screen doesn't displaying the picture clearly as it should be. With that, I cannot see whether a shot is good enough, whether anyone's eyes are closed, and so on. Before I have the time to get it done, my iPhone was broken, it got into a pool of water and was there overnight, and that affects the life of the battery and it got "hot" so easily. Surprisingly, it can still function as it should be, to call, to chat, etc. Then, the car which is perfectly fine, was sent to the repair shop to get some "maintenance" service done. I don't know what they have done, it somehow creates problems. One day, it wouldn't start, then after they fixed that, apparently the next day I notice that the headlight went out, then I have to get them to repair that too, then they did some "operation" to the car, and didn't fix the problem, I drove out with nothing fixed but extra problems, the radiator got so HOT and blew up and smoke came out, scared me to death. Then I had to leave the car there, and a few days after we picked it up, I notice many things in the dashboard (esp, the speedometer) were not right. I definitely not going back there. Oh yeah, other than what happens to me, Henki's phone was also died on him when he had a company photoshoot by the beach, as the ocean decided to give his phone a "bath". How many more devices that can get broken in our house? Have I mentioned that my 3 year old laptop like to shut down by itself? Anticipating anything bad from happening, I have backed up everything important.

That's enough about the trouble that we face and the country is facing.

It is about doing what matters now.

Reading and listening to Ajahn Brahm (again? YUP), I realize there is no use getting so nervous when I got into the car, afraid that it might fail me in the middle of the road, or about when will my laptop decide to "shut down" and never to be able be restarted again? I decide to just go with it until I know what to do best.

Same for the country, Politics as usual is dirty. Now, how about us thinking about what can be done to fix that? Many people want to be somebody and start spreading the words of hate, in the name of their God. A sentence can be interpret differently depending on the understanding of the person who read it, the mood of the person who read it, and lastly the intention of the person who read it.

Teaching the Mandarin class, I told my student you can ask your guests to wait for a while with the following sentence "please wait for a while", however, make sure that you say it gently and politely. You can make that words sound rude, by adding negative emotion when you are uttering those 5 words. That's only a 5 words sentence, imagine a thick holy book with zillions of words in it!

There is a Buddhist teaching that is very profound, it said "Learn from Everyone, Follow no One". Even in spreading his teaching the Gautama never asked the followers to just follow, he wanted them to think for themselves about things that he preached and decide themselves whether it is true or not. They/We all have that right and we are expected to exercise that. Don't follow blindly. We can definitely learn from everyone, I can even learn from the people whom I will try very hard NOT to become. In this case, if people are just better educated, things might turn out as it is.

Thousands of candles have been lighted to show people's support to something/someone, people rallies to show they disagreement about decision that had been made, even my students (at their age, I was still enjoying college and didn't bother about politics that much. Maybe because I wasn't in Indonesia at that time?) were so busy following the news and neglected classes that are going on. For this I wonder, will we make any changes with this?

Personally, I would like to look forward. I was thinking instead of busy following the news, why don't my students put more effort in the class (I know it is not the only place to learn), and better themselves as individual, so that one day they can do things that actually matter. News on the internet is always there, you can do it later, right? Also, parents paid a lot for them to have the opportunity to go to this "college", why don't they fully utilize this privilege? Isn't that one of the way to cultivate the good morale in oneself, what known as "appreciation"? Smaller scale to appreciate the effort of their parents, larger scale, to appreciate the work done by leaders in the society whom have tried very best to serve their people.

Also, I notice, those who don't have the habit to "appreciate", are easily intimidated by those in power. Take my students as example, they despise the management of the college, as there are many policies made are never in the benefit of their students. The school thinks that they have power over the students, they think they can dictate the students to do what they want them to do. So students take their "fate" as it is. In this case, they will "bow down" to the "unfair" management and then... express their frustration in "bullying" those who can be bullied, like the good staff and instructors. This is a very sad fact that happens everywhere where the "bullied" are bullying someone else weaker. Is that right? NO! The right thing is to stand up to what is right, to go up the chain and confront the bullies who had bullied them.

I am a very stiff individual, most of the time, I like things by the book. For I think I will try my very best so that others won't easily find fault in me. I know that it is always so easy to find fault in anything/ any situation if you look hard enough, however, do realize that we can also find beauty in any situation if we try harder.

Going forward, I will still be doing things that I know best. I want to share my passion, my experience and my little bit of knowledge about things that I know, hoping that it will have positive impact to at least ONE other individual and also to learn from ALL about the things that I don't know. I trust that what is right will always be right. Someone I respect said "Don't worry, Karma will get the Bastard." Oops...

Peace,
Lin ^ ^

P.S. About religion, your religion is not better than mine, however you can be better than me and that makes your religion good.

Legal!

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Thu, 04 May 2017 06:19:00 +0000

Last Weekend, 30 April 2017, we woke up early in the morning (this is something extraordinary for me, especially during the weekend which I would not normally be woken up by the sound of alarm clock), and got ready to sign our paper. What Paper?

It's been 15 months since our wedding ceremony and reception in Medan and 13 months since our wedding reception in Jakarta, and you won't believe that we are still talking about our wedding now. Yep, it's our marriage certificate! After living in worry that we are going to get raids and be jailed for living together without a proper documentation of marriage (I am just kidding about the worry, but being jailed for cohabitating is real in Indonesia, there is a law about it), we are finally get our documentation done.

The question is why so late?

Here is my side of story. Marriage certification is not difficult to obtain in “normal” circumstances, it is easy and it is free now. Normal here means that you are marrying someone opposite sex or someone who have the same religion as you. By this definition, people who would like to have a family with those who are not the same faith are considered “abnormal” in our beloved country. Again, in normal circumstances, we just have to run here and there (RT, RW, Department of Civil Registration or locally known as Catatan sipil). to complete the documents needed before proceeding to the real deal in signing the marriage certificate.

My parents helped me getting my documentation done, such as declaration that I am still single by 3 level of officials back in my hometown, lots of waiting and queuing just to wait someone in charge to sign the paper, because they are busy, with nothing normally. As for Henki, he had to do it himself, so the only time that we have is during our trip back to Jakarta early this year for Chinese new year. Anyway, we got that done too.

Now, why don't we process our marriage certificate in Jakarta? Oh, because the country has passed the law that states that interfaith marriage is not allowed in Indonesia. WHY? Don't ask me. This is the most ridiculous thing ever. Many strong believers of a religion believes that interfaith marriage is not going to work. The reason is that every marriage will encounter difficult times, and in those difficult times, we normally will turn to our faith more than ever. Therefore, if a couple has different faith and belief, how can they resolve their issues together with the guidance of God? How can they go to the same temple/church/mosque and seek the guidance of the "holy" people in there to help them see things clearer and work their problems out?

Initially, I was hesitant to convert because certain things in other religion do not fit into my principles in life and I am quite happy with my current belief. However, with time, my belief told me that it doesn't matter what the paper said about me, but it rather how I feel about myself, that truly matters. With that and my parents' support (Amazing, aren't they?) I don't mind converting, if needed.

Government should note, I convert not because I want, but because I need to or I must. Consider the difference and revisit the relevant law, will you?

In order to be able to process legal documentation that certified us as husband and wife, we need to go through something called "wedding based on faith/religion" or known as Nikah Agama, which is our problem. To put it blankly, There is almost no church wants me because I am not a believer. And we can't get it done in a temple, because Henki doesn't want to hold an incense because he needs to maintain certain belief of his and to save him from explaining things to people that need explanation. Story short, "Almost" is the keyword, at the end, we are able to get the church to issue a paper before going to the next step of signing the final marriage certificate in the relevant government office (As for us, we register it under the civil registration office in Bali, not in my hometown nor Henki’s. Living in a BIG country has its own problem, although we are Indonesian, we are not “local” as long as the Balinese government office is concerned). Back to the “help” that we are getting, I am not sure whether it is his interpretation on God's words that makes him want to help couples like me and Henki or it is something more worldly. However, I am grateful that he wants to do it so that we can get on with life and process the next legal paper to certify that we are a family. (I can only see it happens during our next trip back in CNY 2018, if nothing urgent happens before that.)

From the simple Christian ceremony we had last weekend, we have finally had our classical wedding vow. We didn’t prepare it, the pastor helps us with that, promising each other to respect and love one another in good and bad times, in health and sickness, until death do us apart. I want and will hold on to that, even if I am not born Christian. With the blessing, love and support from our family and friends, hopefully we can make it happen.

Anyway, we are legally married now. It doesn't change anything in our relationship, except we have papers to show during raids. Blah~

After a year plus of marriage, we are already a better couple compare to when we started last year. A friend told me that the first year of marriage is the most difficult year. I did experience that last year. Some other couples might not. I am just saying based on my experience. I struggle with new routine in new place, with so little / no other family members around, with Henki's work that is going crazy with every promotion and of course with each others' habits that are easily overlooked during our 3 years plus of LDR before committing into marriage.

I am not saying that we have got everything "under control", because we are not and I have learned that we never will, but I can handle things slightly better than before. Marriage changed me as a person, I believe things have changed Henki too. Believe it or not, my family and friends have helped a lot in straightening some knots for me in difficult time, helping to see things from different perspective and get to understand marriage life better. This part of walk in life has been much relaxing walk because of Ajahn Brahm. I must give him this credit. I listen to his talk a lot and Henki has never prohibit me from doing that (Thank you!) and I will "force" him to admit that he sometimes listen and "enjoy" it too. Enjoy here means find it make sense and he will tell me that "Baby, do you hear that? You have to worry less." He is a much more "Buddhist" than I am. He lets go more easily and it sometimes irritates me. Because I have to do all the worry, although experience has repeatedly showed me that there is no use in worrying.

Our marriage is still “young”, seumur jagung in Bahasa Indonesia, so far problems in life resolved not because we visit the temple/church often, but because I want to make it work and Henki does too. Both of us have to let go a little bit of our ownwelf and learn to accept others as they are and help each others in difficult times. I also learned from something that I read/watch that sometimes in marriage it is good to be “deaf” as most of the time when tiredness and irritation set it, people said things that they do not mean, and lots of times, it is destructive. So, be deaf at times.

Ending this post, I want to express my disagreement about the law that prohibits the interfaith marriage in Indonesia, because it certainly doesn’t help anyone and doesn’t improve anything AT ALL. It plants the seed in people’s head about how differences can’t live together. Some will argue, it will be confusing for the kids if their parents are not the same religion, how do the children should be brought up, in Buddhist way or the Christian way? NONE. Children should be brought up KIND, LOVING, RESPECTFUL and UNDERSTANDING. Lastly, once you brought them up that way, hopefully we are also given the strength to love and trust them in making their choices in life, just like how our parents do for us.

Legal,

Lin ^ ^

Henki & Linda's first quarter of 2017

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 22 Mar 2017 10:51:00 +0000

Can you believe that we have almost passed the first quarter of 2017? Time flies!

Here is an update of what's happening, nothing much but everything is good.

The first month, we did a trip back to visit both sides of the families in Jakarta and in Medan. We manage to get some paper done as well for Henki in Jakarta. Then, Henki stayed about a week in Medan before flying back to Bali to catch another flight the next day to India, Business Trip. I stayed back as planned for another week and happy to be home. They are still the best! I miss them now as I am writing this. But, I gain soooo much weight. Still trying to shed some more now.

The second month, February, Henki came back from India with a fever. Even with the fever he still went to work and half day after that I had to pick him up and sent him to the hospital. He was admitted for 4 days before coming back home and start working again. And a few days later, I was having fever (scared me to death, I just don't want to relive whatever happened at the end of last year), lucky with some rest I got better in 2 days and fully recover after a week or so. I was just too exhausted running here and there when Henki was hospitalized. But we are fine now :)

This month, March, for the first time since June last year, we got into the Ocean again, Henki as usual enjoying his time swimming far away from the shore, as for me playing by the beach side. I love the beach, I am not afraid to get dark, but I am scared too at the same time, as I always think that I am not good in threading water, thus.. fear has won over me there.

As for work, This month I have full attendance in each training group that I did. That means I am healthy. Yay! I am negotiating new contract too, hopefully get it done by early or mid next month. Finger-crossed!

Henki's work is terrible. I can easily say he dedicates a total of 60 hours per week for work. Although I can see in his frustration about so much things to do and the lack of human resource, I think he enjoys his current role in sales and marketing. He told me that he is more confidence and not hesitate to meet with people and get some deals done. Again in between his frustration dealing and managing the human within, he also enjoys dealing with some business partners and customers. I am so proud of him.

Oh yeah, something small and not important, finding things to do, I just started another Instagram account (@goingplaces_101) that features all the beautiful places that I had been and those places that I will be. Digging out old photos, gosh, it brings so much good memory back.

This year, I am anticipating 4 things as of now; getting our marriage cert done (Oops! Long story), friends visit in Sept 2017, our Japan trip in Dec, and lastly have dad and mom here in Bali again, still planning for a good time.

This morning we had a 6,4 magnitude earthquake shaking right underneath this small island. Fortunately, there is no serious casualty. I would like to thank family and friends who call me to check on me and Henki. We are fine. Bali is fine.

Peace,

Linda :)

Wrapping 2016 with Gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 06:17:00 +0000

Time passes real quick. It feels like yesterday when I was still in my parents' home busy preparing for our wedding early this year, then moving city and in 3 days, the year of 2016 is ending.

As usual, wrapping each year, let's look back and see how we have grown and start another year bringing a better person and forgiving a less "good" quality behind.

This year is definitely an important year for me. There are many changes in life since I got married. Early this year, I wrote about 2015 in a glimpse but didn't make any personal resolution for this year, because I honestly haven't figured out things for myself since I got married. It is no longer about me, it is more about "us" (Henki & I), as Ajahn Brahm said and supported by Mom and Dad.

Moving to Bali is a bitter sweet experience. I am super close with my family and relatives back in Medan. The bitter part is that I am now quite far from them (I joke that Medan - Bali flight is like flying to China, it takes almost a whole day), and I miss spending weekends afternoon, playing, catching up with my sis, niece, nephew and cousins. The sweet part is that I am here in one of the heavens on earth with my other half now, sleeping better, and playing harder. Also, living further from family makes me realized how I love and I am loved by my family back home. Early this month when my dad and mom made their visit to Bali, my grandma and aunties were buying me lots of good food from Medan. Everybody was busy shopping and preparing cooked food for me and Henki. Honestly, whose relatives are still doing that??? I am blessed to be raised in this family, aren't I?

About Married Life

Being married is not the end of a "happy" story. It is just the beginning of living LIFE in a more humane way in general. It is building a family after all. Some people asked me when I am planning to start a family, referring to "having a baby". Deep in side, I tell myself that I am already starting a family, by being married.

Being married, I learn about so many things, I think it is the same for Henki too.

We have to make lots of adjustment in our life and learning (yup! still learning) to accept one another. It is putting 2 different individuals and hope they are walking towards the same destination after all. First year of marriage is not really a honeymoon period, it is a learning period (a continuous one, in fact!). Lots of respect, patience, tolerance, forgiveness (at times) and of course the "never-give-up" attitude are needed to make things work. Those things are not cliché. Those things are REAL! You have seen lots of our happy moments captured on camera, you just didn't see those nights sleeping back to back, trying hard not to touch one another. I am glad we made it through those nights, reconcile and get a better understanding (hopefully) about one another.

I am proud to say that we do start this family as those in the olden days did. We experienced those shopping for household items and making a place HOME with our hard earned/saved money, not asking from anybody else. We started from the kitchenware, dining table, bed and lastly an old secondhand car for practical purpose. Looking back, there are some "soury" feeling to not being able to buy the things that we "want", because we want to save it for something more important and matter, but most of the feeling is Pride!

In this case, I really look up to some family and friends who can actually afford luxurious things, but choose a simpler way of living a life, with a super generous heart to those in need and things that really matter. They are my other role models (other than my parents). I learn from them not trying so hard to impress others with what we have, but instead of what we are as a person. This life value is easier for me to practice, because I grew up in a small town where people are more sincere, although not all, than those in bigger metropolitan city. From this, I learn too not to be impressed easily by people who talk big about what they can do and what they have, because most of the time, we can see through them.

From here, I learn what kind of family that we want to build and what not. If lucky to have any, what kind of values that I want to teach my children in the future. Things are not always as comfortable as what some of other newly weds have, but dad and mom started simple too and if they make it works to date, I hope Henki and I can too. I hope we started right. Bless us!

Carreer & Work

One of the biggest adjustments that I have to make is in term of work. I tried a full time job as a school teacher, teaching Mandarin. It didn't work out well for me, as I am not 100% satisfy with my working environment, so I quit. On top of that, Henki had to sacrifice his resting time (due to my early work schedule) and work longer hour. Exhausting for him. Although he didn't complain. Thanks for those one full month, Baby!

After that, I applied for a part time job, and was having the power to bargain for work schedule as much as I think I want/am capable to handle, by giving house chores, my family, as my first priority.

I know it might sound silly to some others, but growing up one of the most important things that MIGHT contribute to how Dad and Mom turn out to be, for me, successful parents is that they keep those values that we youngsters deem as outdated now. For example, always making the time to eat, at least, dinner in one table together, how mom no matter how busy she was with the shop, she had never neglected the needs of her children. We are always her first priority, we had always had breakfast before we go to school, she prepared our snack to be taken to school, lunch has always ready when we got home. Those motherly chores might seem 理所当然 as Chinese put it or "as it should be by right", but those things are the things that we appreciate the most now as their children.

Those 'outdated' things are the things that I want to keep in my own family with Henki. Just during the visit, my dad told me (he is not a kind of dad who will sit me down and tell me all kind of life lessons, but he did this time), to prepare a glass of water when your husband is home after a long day of work. A more 'modern' part of me will tell myself that is the thing that he can do on his own, but there might be certain things that need not modernization, thus, I try my best to do as dad and mom told /showed me on how to be a good wife, hoping that my current family will work out like how Dad and Mom build their home. A home where I am very proud of and can't stop to brag about!

So, for now, work with the sole purpose to earn is a less important thing. I work to fill up my time and to keep continue doing things that I am passionate with. However, tell you the truth some part of me do fear that my value as a person is lessen because I am not able to support myself, to shop without feeling guilty and other petty negative feelings about being too depending on someone else. That's my sacrifice. I hope it will be worth it, as they said.

That's mostly about my "work", not so much a career.

There are more to Henki's career though. I know only certain parts of it, but I do know he works his "b*tt" of this year. He has his heart full at work when he is at work, and sometimes even when he is home from work.

He does make progress in term of career advancement, and I am a proud wife. Don't argue with me, I am a true believer that hard work always pays off, one way or another.

He decided to take a new role in his company this year, to be out of his comfort zone, from Revenue to Sales & Marketing, and I think he does well that he was trusted with a new property to handle, starting the very end of this year.

I don't know much about what's going on EXACTLY in his daily work life at the office, but I hope that he will learn to take care of himself better, after the 110% that he had put in at work.

"What's done is finish", said Ajahn Brahm

I kind of understand how he felt about "unfinished" work, but work will never finish, there are always things to do, if you do not want to stop at just being good or enough, things can always be better. However, that's a worry for another day. At the end of the day, our body is the only things that stay with us (yup! even people we love/love you, will leave us one day, hopefully not by choice), so better take a good care of our body, when we can.

I just want to let him know that he has done super good here!

Others...

This year is not a good year for me physically. I was coughing for almost 4 months and just got better about 2 weeks ago. I went for a consultation and being diagnosed with bronchitis and pneumonia (caused by bacteria called Pseudomonas Aeruginosa) and were hospitalized for almost 2 weeks. during the hospitalization period, I had measles and was isolated. After being discharged, I was still on antibiotic (lots of them) and not getting better until I stopped the intake of the drugs given and went for a second opinion in Singapore, just to be told that there might be wrong diagnosis and I am young and healthy. It might be just my body recovering slowly and for sure, the side effect of a month of antibiotic.

Relief is the biggest feeling that I have, because I have been worried sick about the things that I was told that I had in my body (even search for the "mortality rate" for that disease, yes! I was feeling that terrible that it felt like dying). However, to think about all the stress that experience had put me through, I do feel disappointed at the medical care standard in Indonesia. There was a point that I was asked to go for HIV test to eliminate some aspects that might causes my compromised immune system (Is it even really compromised? Who knows!) It came out negative, but that was one stressful afternoon. My mom was tearing and kissing me in relief when she and Dad accompanied me to the hospital to take the result.

What an experience. I am glad that it had passed. During that terrible period, I realized something, that the most scary part about dying is when you think how people who love you might grieving so much that it breaks your heart and it is your fault to put them through that path of suffering. That is the scariest part that I felt, not the fear about dying itself, not the fear about not achieving anything, there was even slight relief that you do not have to be worry about anything worldly anymore, that you have done your best. Anyway, that's just sick body and mind talking.

As the doctor in Singapore told me "You are young and healthy." Let's just hang on to that for now :)

Henki is generally healthy, there was a few times that he was down because he was too tired, one of those times was when he was taking care of me. I just hope that he will commit to saying goodbye to the "da*n" cigarette very very soon! Oh yeah, I hate cigarette, soooooo much. I am super sensitive to it, in a bad way, I can even smell someone was smoking outside of my frontdoor while I sit here, typing.

Moving on, we didn't travel much this year. Henki made a trip to Kuala Lumpur for Work, We made a trip to Singapore for medical care (which turn to short getaway that Henki didn't enjoy much, very difficult man to satisfy, poor him :p), and short trip to Bandung last March. That was pretty much it.

We had never planned for any honeymoon trip and didn't have any. To comfort myself, I told myself that I am living in Bali, where newly wed came to have their honeymoon. How smart! =D Based on this logic, we have our honeymoon every other weekends for about 3 months early this year, adventuring around Bali. Lots of beach hopping, until earthquake stroke last June/July.

Reading is poorly maintained this year. :( Writing, I have been writing lots of posts that are related to learning mandarin this year, but nothing much personal, 15 posts, including this one, in a year time. Cooking, I learn to cook, and I think (I hope Henki agrees with me =D) that it gets better with time. Slow progress and depending so much on the mood, but I think am slightly better, comparing to the beginning of this year. I know how coriander looks like now, how does "leek" and "lemongrass" look like and how to differentiate the two and many other simple things around the kitchen. In between, lots of hours of phone call were made to mom as my lifeline. Oh yeah, I am that stupid before, slightly smarter now. =D That's the most important thing about life, isn't it? To learn each and every day. Doesn't matter how small the progress is, as long as we keep moving, that's what matter.

This pretty much of our 2016, more of mine and a bit of Henki's.

I am grateful for whatever happened in 2016, not limited to all the good moments, but to those period of time when I wasn't well, to those times that we have our arguments, to those stressful time of work. I believe we are going to start 2017 a better person, if not much better, a little.

2017's prediction is not good for me, however, I determined to make it good and prove the prediction wrong. If I lose, as always "That too will Pass".

May each and everyone of our family and friends have a healthy, blessed, prosperous and happy New Year 2017.

Love,

Us (Linda & Henki)

About Contentment and 100%-ness

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 19 Oct 2016 09:37:00 +0000

知足常乐

“Contentment brings Happiness”

It's been a while. Life has been in between busy and peaceful to less drama. So there is nothing extraordinary. But I am grateful that things have been going great. Just missing some people back in Medan.

So, here is something that I would like to jot down for myself to read one day.

I have been coughing for about a month plus, so far it is the second longest track record of coughing that I have had. The first still the one I had when I was in Beijing, due to polluted air. Now, it is the same case. However, since I can't sleep well at night because of the cough and I am done playing doctor for myself I dragged myself to the doctor (OH yeah... No one else can drag me and force me to do it.)

The result after the examination is rather as expected. Of course, I am going in with a cough and I am coming out with a cough medicine, on top of that, I am being prescribed with antihistamine called: Alergine cetirizine. Just hope that it clears the itchiness in the throat.

That's not the thing that I would like to remind myself (Although, it might come handy one day).

It is about life in general.

I thought I use my time really well lately. I teach and enjoy the current classes that I am handling and just considering another training for hotel, and around the house, surprisingly I still manage to do the house chores really well. For both work outside and inside, I got a good weekend off. On top of the regular cooking for dinner, I successfully copied the recipe of donut and martabak (4 times) that I found on Instagram. Somebody else is liking it and I am proud. =D For my family, they know, when I was in high school, I don't even dare to touch the stove. During college time, a male flat-mate taught me how to make fried rice. Now, I am cooking for another human being, not super good, but things get better with time. You tell me how can I not proud of that? Often times, we just have to impress ourselves, not others! =D

However, among those activities that have kept me quite exhausted by the end of the day and always happy when it comes to adventurous or even super lazy weekend, I got bored sometimes. I always think that I can do more with what I have. I got excited whenever my partner comes home and discuss his work with me at home. Although I can't help much, the discussion gets my brain going. Especially now that he has already moved to S&M department, more things that I can relate to. I am grateful of him for doing that to me. In that process, there is a certain part of me that always think that I can do more than what I am already doing right now. I am better than what I am right now. Maybe that's true and maybe that's not.

However, my interaction with a doctor today made me learn to be more content. Since I choose teaching Mandarin as something I would like to do (I got an offer to go back to Hospitality industry because as the Chinese market is growing here in Bali, the human resource for that market is insufficient. I decline it because I know I am not cut for a big corporation, too much politics at all levels, my greatest weakness), I might as well give my 100% in doing things that I do. In my life, I have always had done the same. In teaching, some people here told me to lower my expectation and just do enough because we don't expect people here to be as good as the Medanese in term of picking up Chinese language. Lucky that I am stubborn. I do lower my expectation, by slowing down the pace that I teach and the amount of material that I give, but never my view towards my students. Do just enough is not something I would like to do. I like to do my best, because I believe that certain people will be benefited from my effort. What is the greatest satisfaction than seeing our effort paid off, right? I see some students get interested in Chinese and looking forward to the class and actually can start forming sentences with whatever they 'catch' for the past 2,5 months.

Today, just before I went to the doctor, I was teaching my playgroup class. Children in playgroup are not expected to recognize characters yet. However, I believe if we can make it fun, why not. Just now, out of nowhere a 4 year old kid who had just started learning Mandarin (and whose mother tongue is no where close to Chinese language) is reading the Chinese characters to me and know what they mean! To be fair , that kid is naughtily smart. However, if from the beginning I have decided to go with the culture here to give just enough, just go by the textbook (which sucks), it might not happen. No one will enjoy the benefit to know that Chinese can be fun, and I will never get to feel proud, excited and happy, like what I am feeling now. I am so proud of her!!! Ecstatic!!!

Going back to the doctor, the doctor asked me if my work require me to be out a lot and asked what I do for a living. When I told her what I did, she gets so excited to know more about Mandarin and she makes me feel that I have got an exciting life teaching Mandarin. While most of us (including me) think that doctor is a profession that is not everyone who wants to be, can be. Because of the requirement of the brain 'capacity', which I believe I don't have. Also, things that they do are so 'technical' (I don't even know the word to describe it), that I think it is something prestigious.

However, seeing her eyes lighted up discussing Mandarin with me (the light that I don't see when I first walked in and when we discussed about my cough. To think about it, maybe Chinese language is more interesting than my cough. haha), it reminds me to be just grateful, content and give my 100% in everything that I do now and every opportunity that knocks.

For all of us who find that we are stuck and want to do just more of many OTHER things, because we are bored, ask ourselves if we have given our 100% in the moment, in things we do, to people around us and to improve what we are doing right now. Then, we might know what to do next.

As for me, I would like to be better in Mandarin, MUCH Better. Test can only grade us to a certain level. My HSK 6 certification means nothing to me now, because I know although that is the highest level for foreigners, but I think I still have so MUCH room to improve, sooooo much more.

Love Life,
Lin ^ ^

The person I want to be and NOT want to be

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Tue, 30 Aug 2016 03:30:00 +0000

Dealing with certain people make me realize the person I want to be and the person I will try my hardest NOT to be.

This is a reminder to myself. I hope in 10 to 30 years from now, I will look back at this post and hope that I do not stray off course.

I WANT to be a person that always be grateful of the little good things that others have done for me. ALL THE little things, including, accepting the offer to serve me a bowl of soup and I want to always say THANK YOU for those thoughtful act.

I DO NOT WANT to be the person who is unappreciative of the things that others have done for me, even though it maybe not exactly what I want, but if I know that they do it out of good intention, I will accept it with an open heart! Because that what lifts people up! The opposite puts people down and make others not want to do anything else for us. Example: If someone is dying to share their most favorite food with me, I will devour it and for that one time NOT insist on my own preference and put down theirs. We can always have our own "good food" some other time, so much time for that. The fact that others want us to have a taste of their favorite things should be a sign of love and that is priceless. So, Appreciation is the least we can give them in return.

I WANT to be the person who is easy to deal with, like my dad and mom. They are just happy about almost anything that we do for them. It is so easy to buy them gifts, foods, or even take them anywhere. They will use the things that you buy them, they will give the foods that we bought them a try (and decide if it is good or not later on), they will have a good time whenever you take them to. Looking at how our efforts are appreciated makes us want to do more for them.

I DO NOT WANT to be a person who is difficult to deal with. I learn that someone who is picky about food is not a good companion to be with. There is a difference between personal value and being picky. Some of my friends are vegetarian, so we respect their choice of life and we will go to vegetarian restaurant and have a good time together. Come on!!! We have so many other days to enjoy non vegetarian meals! However there are some people whom we take to a good place for Soto or Indonesian yellow soup (that we know they like) and still unable to satisfy them, throwing out comment like "Prawn Soto is not good, chicken and beef Soto are more common" (with the unsatisfied "face"), "I do not like this", "I am always picky." GOSH! ?

I WANT TO communicate kindly to others. When we are happy about something it is easy to praise (although some people still find it difficult to say the kind words and always find a way to put down others, I DO NOT WANT to be that type of person), what more difficult is when we are in disagreement or unhappy about things. However, I have seen people who can manage those kind words even when we know from their face that they just try to be appreciative and do not want to discourage us. Towards these group of people, it always encourages me to do better for them. My dad is a good example. For Conventional Older Chinese Folks, Pizza may not always be their favorite. Given the option, they might prefer those comfort food like Chinese noodle, dumpling, Nasi Padang etc. Once, my sis and I took our parents to the Pizza Restaurant. They finish all the food, no waste, but we can tell that dad is not a fan of Pizza. However, when asked, he will say "It's good." Know him well we asked "Wanton Noodle is better than Pizza, isn't it?" He smiled and nodded. We know what to do next. However, from time to time we always try to share with them the food that we like, such as: Japanese Sushi, Korean food, or whatever available in town. There are times that they can't stop telling us that the food is good and of course it is all over their face and will gladly order much more for them! That is so rewarding.

Most WOMAN do this from time to time; We keep quiet and hope for people around to 'get' the unhappy vibe that we sent out and hoping for others to understand and be emphatic towards us. Most of the time others do not get what we are trying to convey in that "sour-y" face. I learnt this for the past few weeks and find that irritating. Thus, I DO NOT WANT to be that kind of person. I will say what I want and not want, again kindly! However, I really have to be thankful of my partner and family that they have been so patient towards me. I have to thank the person who have shown this irritating behavior ALL the time too. The person has made me realize of WHAT NOT to be.

Lastly, about being thrifty and a penny-pincher. I have seen my mom saves from nothing until she and dad can finally give the family a comfortable life, good education to their children (something they do not have before), and a decent roof above the family's head. I do not understand why she did that before. Growing up, I had lots of want as part of peer pressure. Branded stuff in small kampung is only in the level of "Adidas", "Nike" and friends, never to the extend of "LV", "Chanel" and friends. But at times, although I know we can afford it, my mom still didn't always grant my wish, most of the time the reason is that because I had already had an existing that still works just fine. Now, I know why. It is not about being a penny-pincher, but it is about prioritizing what is important. For them, when it comes to learning, my parents had never said no. I attended Sempoa class, Piano class, Mandarin Class, English Class, Taekwando, and all other classes that our small town can offer. It was always a YES! from them. When they struggle to afford my education (for some it is not much money), they sell their comfortable air-conditioned car to send me to school that give me bigger opportunity to see the world with a much more open minded attitude.

Lastly about being thrifty and being a penny-pincher. For me, "no food go to waste" discipline is not about being a cheapskate. I do it because I think about those people who has nothing to eat. So for me, now that I have something to fill the stomach, I want to be grateful about it, appreciate it. Of course, I do it whenever I can. When I can't, I won't. There was one time, that I left the food that I had cooked and the rat which is up for ANYTHING came and had it tasted before the human did. I have to throw it all away, because I know rats are dirty and I do not want to risk being ill by sharing food with them. However, whenever I cooked more than we need in one meal, it is normally because I can keep it and eat it the next day and I WILL eat it. So, it has nothing to do with being a penny-pincher and I do not appreciate people throwing my food away.

Oh yeah, it is not easy to plan perfectly to avoid food that ends up in the dustbin. But it is much more difficult when you have to keep throwing food away everyday. I would rather put my head into the planning of how much should I cook than being an 'efficient' person that throws food away, because that is EASY!

Please also differentiate people who are being Thrifty and Prudent to those who are a penny-pincher to the extend that know only to take advantage of others.

Oh yeah, I am now careful about spending because I want to create a comfortable life for our little family in the future. But I have never take advantage of others, never want to! I know how hard my partner works super hard and I appreciate it by saving it so that at the end of the year we can travel and enjoy ourselves, by the right time come, we can also to start a family for real comfortably without relying on others. I do not see the need to compete with others let alone impress others and no one can make me do it. I have seen my family and friends who really have something are normally humble and do not boast. And I have seen those who boast actually are empty inside, and they can only fool the fools. Opps! I am not joining the club!

Sorry for the ranting... For the past two weeks, I have been made realize of how I want to be and how I don't want to be as a human being. Phew~

Half A Year

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Sat, 06 Aug 2016 11:20:00 +0000

It has been six months since our wedding. We finally do not call ourselves newly wed and he doesn't introduce me as his "new wife", just "wife". =D

People say first 3 months is honeymoon period. For us it is quite true, that's when I just first move to Bali and enjoying my "downtime" with no work (after last few crazy months juggling work and wedding preparation last year), that's when the industry he is working in was in its slow period. So, no pressure in life and it is something that people called as bed full of roses. Then, I started having enough with down time and wanting to get back in action (unfortunately finding the ideal one isn't always easy), and for him, work is starting to get crazy. That's when as individual we were dealing with our own stuff and affect us as an "us". First quarrel in our marriage life had finally taken place, and I am glad that we got through it. At the end of each quarrel, we normally find out the truth isn't always as bad as our assumption that get us into the quarrel mode.

I am learning so much here. I am someone who is impatient. I see unfinished stuff, I will deal with it until it is done. I like to start things and get them finish as fast as possible. I set goals and I would like to achieve it fast. I found that this kind of spirit is good in a way, but has its many drawbacks in many ways. It often drains me, physically. And when someone is tired, you know how they get irritated quickly over the tiniest matters. In marriage life, patience is the best of friend that we have to make. So I am learning.

He is learning too. He has always been a very hardworking man and takes his work seriously. It is what makes me fall in love with him in the first place (we always like people who talk about his work with shining eyes, don't we?), but it has its drawback too. Anxious about doing his job well (especially the new position he is taking on), he has been working 12 hours or more daily and come back home still reading articles to improve his knowledge about this new field he is in. Human is not designed for that long hour kind of work. At one point, that person will crack. I made this known to him, so that he didn't get lost in the process when trying to excel in work. I want him to realize that many other important things to in life. I can see him trying too here.

For me, I can't stress this enough, to the people whom I work with now when they would like me to commit more of my time to work, I make it known that my family comes first now. I want to work and will definitely give my very best in it, as simple as coming home preparing dinner and make the house Home(!) for us. I would like to recreate the family I come from where dinner time is bonding time. Eating out is good, but home cooked food has its own meaning to it. So, this family has my full commitment. However, I know that I cannot do this alone.

All in all, 6 months of marriage it is not always a bed full of roses. However, it is important to count the blessings and make use "the truckload of dung" as Ajahn Brahm calls it, carry it around your pocket and let it stink or use it as a fertilizer.

Here I want to count my blessing in this marriage life.

He has provided me with the liberty to be picky about work I do. I teach only to channel my passion about sharing things that I like and the good news is that I don't have to do it full time. I can use the downtime to write (something I love and rather good at ;p) and who knows where this will lead. Future has been uncertain for me, in term of work, or maybe in all aspect as how life should be, uncertain! :)

I thank him too for granting all the little things and wishes that I have, the need for beach time, rice field time, spa time and good meal time over the weekend. This might be the biggest little things that I appreciate, the little things.

Lastly, I thank him for being patient with my cooking and hey, I get better with time. =D He used to not eat the strange tasting food I cooked, which at the end I am responsible to finish it), but I think he now learns that for him to eat the most unsavory meal that I prepare means a lot to me. So he eats them now, although I can still tell from his face that he just want to finish that one meal fast. Haha... Okay, I don't like to fail in my experiment in the kitchen too and guilty for serving it. But I can't throw the food away, while many people out there is dying out of hunger. Unless it is something that is very unsalvageable, then no food gets wasted in this house. That's the rule! So, that's great act at his part to bear with it now! (FYI, I serve something good too from time to time, really good ones) =D

However, I hope he learns to wait patiently! He is super bad at these. I don't like to wait too, that's why I get many things done myself rather than waiting for someone to do it. Or at times, when I thing people are just not doing their job and caused delay in the whole process and cause us our time, I will just make my complain heard to the relevant person in charge! No use in getting irritated at yourselves and the situation and worse people around you! However, I know that in life, there will be many things that require us to just wait patiently and nothing else, unavoidable ones, like doctors, queuing in cashier counter, in the restaurant for food, even when accompanying someone to do shopping. These are the things that are not going to get better. For now, we are waiting to see doctor for ourselves, in the future we are going to wait for a doctor to see one of our family members, and getting sulky about the waiting time, will only make things move a whole lot more slower than it is.

All in all, in our marriage life, both of us need to learn and forgive a lot (the lighter part such as forgiving the unsavory food. haha, the serious one such as the comment we made to each others when we are busy, angry or sick. I think things happen, have seen my parents quarrel, never so bad, but they did and still grow old together happily. So, I hope we can too =D).We too have to learn to understand that things are not always good. It is life, sometimes we are up there and sometime we are down and bruising. I too believe, there is nothing call "time-off" in marriage. Once you take that time off, you are as good as 'fired'. It is like you are leaving a company when it needs you the most. Why does the company have to retain you when you decide to come back only when things get better? They can survive without you in bad times, then they don't need you. Maybe that's the closest analogy (or does it even make any sense?). I am trying to say here it is good that we leave far apart from our relatives. When we quarrel, we have to face each other. We can't run to others to find companies. Third party in a quarrel isn't always good thing. Have witnessed and heard that kind of stories and it doesn't always end well.

I am learning to stop expecting him to do certain things that he is not built up to do, such as receiving a bucket of flowers, candle light dinner or anything that you can expect from a "romantic" man. I have to live with this unromantic man that I married to, that I want to build a family with, and intend to grow old with. The closest thing we do as a couple is buying matching motorbike jacket, that's for practical reason. Blahhh...

Someone said it right I think, that marriage is like filling things (like love, care, forgiveness, kind words, understanding, happiness and many more things) in a box (called home). Sometimes you have to take things out because you need it but you know when you stop putting things in the box and continuously take, the box is going to be empty one day. Simply put: "Give and Take".

We have a long way to go. 6 months is short, we have another 60 yearas ahead of us. =D

So Much Love,

Lin ^ ^

The Beauty of Balinese

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Mon, 18 Jul 2016 03:12:00 +0000

Those are Huge offerings for Special days

Almost 6 months in Bali, I seem to find something to do that I am satisfied with. I tried school, it didn't work out so well, as I found that no matter how hard I want to try to make things better, I was abided by the system, which unfortunately is good only in theory but not practical.

So, I am now back tutoring again. This time it is tutoring tour guide, Balinese guides. These people do not stop to surprise me in so many (good) ways.

The first is that they speak so many languages, maybe not fluently, but good enough to be able to take the tourists around. That's the confidence and willingness to learn that amaze me. Most of my 'students' speak more than 3 languages, they speak Bahasa Indonesia for sure, Balinese as their dialect and a little English of course, then Russian, Japanese, Korean and now they are learning Mandarin, as Chinese tourists is the growing market here.

They said they get confused sometimes, but they are getting used to it with each passing day. Improvement is what I seek, so I think that's great.

Then, last week, had the chance to chat about the tradition that is still well alive in the society; the Balinese praying ritual. Most Balinese knows 3 calendar systems which I think is more than common and makes it extraordinary (my family is conventional Chinese, we use the Gregorian and Lunar, I know how to read both, but many Chinese, especially the youngsters, feel Lunar calendar is useless, so they do not bother to get to know it more). Again, Balinese knows THREE, the Gregorian, Wuku and Saka.

Because of their "persistency" in keeping what they believe in, thus makes this land special. People who lives here know best that Balinese is very laidback, in a way. Most of them put their belief first than work. Thus, many of them will take a break from work (the chance to earn money and make so called "better" living), and do what they need to do "pray". We who live and work here enjoy the benefit of more holiday :)

After a few months here, I notice that full moon that comes twice every month in either Wuku or Saka Calendar, is the same like the Lunar dating system. For these 2 days each month, Balinese normally will have bigger and more special offerings than the usual daily offering that they made. And much bigger for many other special days.

If you ever stepped into Bali, these offerings are everywhere, in front of the house, on the street, in the intersection, etc. They call this "Canang", if I am not mistaken. It is a small weaved basket with flowers, incense fruits, etc in it.

Other than that, this ibu (my student) was trying to explain to me that in Wuku (that has only 210 days in a year) and Saka calendars combined, there are many other sacred days where they will perform ritual in honoring the good aspects in live or merely give thanks to the nature/things around us. Last week, they just had this Tumpek Landep day, and according to this ibu, other than giving things to "metal" things that has been so great in assisting their lives, making work easy (including cars, bikes, laptops, knives, etc), they also give thanks to trees that deliver fruits, corps, etc, they give thanks to animals too, and many more. Each day has its own name.

From my conversation with Balinese, thus working class level, including Grab drivers (Yeah, I use their service a lot and often satisfied), they acknowledged that they spend a lot of money on offerings, that include the "basket", flowers, joss stick and fruits (the biggest amount was spent on fruits), but they think it is something they are willing to do and must do to get that peace of mind, for themselves, for the family, for the community and for this goddess land.

I am quoting what the ibu said to me in regard to that matter: "This is something that we do from our heart. We want to do it. Foreigners, the non-native, may say things about what we do, and take it for granted. They sometimes asked why this land is so peaceful, but they never think that it is what the people do that contributes in maintaining the peace in the land. We, Balinese, believe what we do gives peace in this land."

That statement really hits me. And I believe and I wish they will continue to do so. I know that part of the belief has contributes in keeping the land beautiful (like keeping the building low, not taller than the coconut trees), but I never think about the peace. To think about it now, I have so much respect for them now.

I am not a super religious person. However, I can see how this belief goes well with the universe and among us as a 'humankind'. Again, Respect!

This is Bali at its finest. The essence of Bali is not in the luxurious beach club nor the night life, but in the beauty of its people. Most of these people respects nature, I don't get whistling when I walk around alone, when I get it, I know it is not from the Balinese, but rather people who come from another islands of Indonesia.

Coming from a city that is not always very safe, I was skeptical at first, when my partner left our belongings (in a plastic bag) or jackets or helmets hanging on our bike, while we shop for groceries (it can take an hour at least). I expect to comeback and found something missing, but so far, this place has never let me down yet. I am so glad about it.

If you ever read or hear a story when bad things happen during a night out in Bali, which happened to me too. Don't blame this place, don't blame the Balinese. Blame yourselves. I blame myself for putting myself in a place where I know no good things can ever happen. If you ask me "is it okay?" Of course it is NOT, for me. Although some people are okay with that. I am in another group. Since I can't do anything and can only regret and upset about it endlessly, which is no use at all, the only thing that I can do in the future is not to go back. So, if things, unwanted things happen to you in Bali night club, don't blame this place. Acknowledge the fact that most things happened are not caused by the Balinese, but the people, often (or maybe always) the nonnative and foreigners (NOT the Balinese). So again, don't blame this place and its local.

The tourists and the non locals (like us) who need to behave and learn a little more respect to this land. This place and its people are undeniably beautiful, peaceful and kind.

From the Beautiful Goddess Island of Indonesia, Bali..

What is missing from the kids nowadays? Respect!

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 04:00:00 +0000

Almost every week, I see the post on Social Media about how corrupted the kids/students nowadays. We ask "what is wrong with the kids nowadays?'

Maybe that isn't the right question. Maybe we should ask ourselves "what have we done wrong in educating our kids?"

Although not all (there are always the good ones in those extreme bad ones), I see the difference in value of my generations when we raise our kids. We mostly try to create children that are capable, we need them to be able to survive in the society that is getting more and more challenging. Darwin's theory of survival of the strongests maybe is the foundation in disciplining our children.

Unfortunately, in that process of becoming capable, our innocence children who if guide well, will turn out just fine, see the needs to make their parents proud in "winning" things that they don't always matter, like winning arguments. Sometimes parents are proud when their kids are able to defend their opinions from people like their grandparents about having cellphones at young age, for example.

Parents think that their kids have a point, when their children who are still in primary ask for a cellphone of their own, those in junior high school ask for driving lesson, and when they are in senior high school, parents even encourage them by presenting them with their own personal car, sometimes the brand of their choice when parents can afford it. There are even worse ones who think maintaining certain lifestyle to help them fit in their society by all means are important, for example; borrowing money! If the latter is the case, what do we expect from our children? Fitting in isn't always the most important thing. Being with people who accept you as who you are is what matters.

We justify our action in doing that for so many logical reasons, like; convenience (when you need to check where they are, you can call their cells, they can drive themselves to school, it will save you the trouble of sending them) or most of the time because of social status.

So, when the old fashioned grandpa and grandma make a comment on that, parents will genk up with their kids and make a joke of their outdated grandparents. Make them feel bad about how the world has changed (has it?) and how outdated they are. How nice?!

This kind of thing happens to me before. When I was still in high school, living about 11KM away from school, my uncle would arrange a car for his 3 kids and a few nieces and nephews including me to send us to school. Normally, the driver would drive. However, there was a time, when the driver was sick and as usual my dad would replace him and send us to school. That particular day, my dad was not feeling well too and when I arrived at my uncle's house, my grandma was somehow so irritated that my dad wasn't there yet to drive us to school and she started scolding me and calling my mom. Being a teenager, I do not like that kind of attitude, I expect her to understand that my dad wasn't feeling well and she should not have scolded me or my dad. It wasn't our fault! So I ran back home crying and skipped school that day. Thinking about it now, I feel silly! My dad, on another hand, drove my cousins to school.

My mom didn't support my behaviour, but maybe deep down she understood my anger, but she didn't tell me that it is right. In fact, what my dad did after being scolded by my grandma showed me a very important thing in my family, respect for the elders. Slowly, I understand how thing works. It seems like the general rule in the family.

Up to now, my grandma being the oldest in the family has all the respects that she deserves from her children and grandchildren. There are times that I can still see she isn't always the best in making a rational decision in her actions, however, her children like my mom, aunts, uncles, or even her sons and daughters in law know where they stand, thus they always show respect and love her in their own ways. We always say, our grandma is the most luckiest grandma on earth! She has more than 30 grandchildren, more than 2 dozens of great grandchildren, however her rank in the family is always the highest. She is the general in the family :D

I can see my dad likes to hang out around my grandma, even though he doesn't always have topics to discuss with her, or sometimes even get scolding from her, he is always there when my grandma needs him to drive her around to run some errands. For me that doesn't show weakness, that shows greatness, how big his heart is.

I think I can make the connection of all this respect my grandma has. She was treated very badly by her mother in law, my great grandma. my great grandma didn't like her somehow. She forced her to work hard and did all sort of things that no daughter in laws nowadays would have ever done for their mother in law. But my grandma was patience and her kids can see that great value in their mother, thus the respect now.

The respect that my parents, my uncles and aunts, have for my grandma teaches us to see the good in our parents too and thus, the respects and love we have for them now. I hope we can maintain this and do not get lost in our way, like many of our peers have.

I am still rebellious as ever. Once, I stormed out from my aunt's house because she scolded me over something. Again, my mom didn't think what my aunt did to me is right, but she didn't support me either. Over time, I learn that she has her own reason for doing the thing that she did and I am younger so I should greet her and hold no grudge the next time I see her. Things turn out well and I can see my mom is super proud of me for that. My aunt does the same thing to me too. She holds no grudge, she expressed herself and be my aunt again. She helped me a lot on my wedding day. That's her love for me, as a member of a family. I love her too for being kind.

I have seen parents who laugh when the kids are acting up and disrespect their grandparents, and I am feeling very upset by it! I pity the grandparents for being treated like that and I am waiting to see how will the kid turns out.

Do you see how things work? For me it makes so much sense to show our kids this little thing call respect. Never thing that when we spoiled our kids by approving all their behavior, always stand by their side and not guiding them are the right thing to do. We might thought that they will be able to see how "good" we treat them and we believe they will return it to us. However, in the process of us being good to the young ones, we might have hurt our elders and the good news is: the kids can see that too. So, don't be surprise when the time comes for them to have their own kids, they will standby their children blindly and lose sight of the importance of their parents, YOU and ME!

When this happen, do not say "Why do they do this to me, while I have always given all the things that they want?" I know the answer for that. It is " You have neglected the part about showing by example. The young ones will say: "If you can do that to grandma, why can't I do it to you?" "If you have never showed respect to your own parents, why should I?" At this rate, we know we have failed.

I am not a parent yet, and I believe it is not always easy to practice what I see and say at this time. However, the realization that the thing above is what missing is very important. This is a reminder for my future self when I am blessed enough to have children of my own.

When I was tutoring, the semester report that I sent to some parents always said: "Teachers like me can only do so much, however, what matter most is Family, Parents."

Show them the right thing, if you want them to do the right thing.

To Robi

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 02:53:00 +0000

My current mood: Contemplating on adopting a puppy!

My parents always have always had a dog at home. We are dog people. I looked at my pictures as a baby, I saw 2 dogs roaming around in the pictures. My parents named one of the dog Mary. She got the mentioned more than the other one. I was too young to remember what kind of dog they were. But growing up, many other dogs come and go. There is Joni, died of old age, there is Mopi died poisoned by a burglar that attempted to get into the house, then there was another big black dog, and then the one that I loved so much, Roby. I have been bitten a few times by him. Long brown coating. I don't even know what kind of breed he was. To me, he was just beautiful. My dad wasn't very fond of him for the fact that Robi sometimes tried to bit him too. He always said "all this while, he has never had a dog that tried to bit him." But even after the biting, I had never stopped loving him. However, I know that I failed him for not being able to help him out of whatever he was experiencing at that time.

This is Robi, whose life was a bit of finding self but failed not capturing heart, my heart.

The memory is very blurry but we have another dog that has given birth to 9 puppies, 3 puppies at a time. Gosh they were so cute. And I always cried whenever other people come to adopt them. :'(

At home, my dad is the one in charge in the grooming, bathing, etc, My mom in the feeding, I am in the playing. My sis is an exception. She somehow isn't really into them.

As parents got older they switched to a smaller breed. The first Cihuahua that they have named Bojes. He died from the injury after the fall that he suffered. My little cousin was trying to hold him and accidentally dropped him. And being so small, the height must have done some damage to him. And he died a few weeks after that.

The next one is joy. Joy is our current dog. She has been with my parents for more than 10 years. My mom is very thoughtful in feeding her, she doesn't want Joy to be obese. So mom weighed her often and try to keep Joy in certain shape at particular weight. My dad sometimes play the harmonica and joy will howl to it. Mom and dad said that is Joy singing.

Lately, I really like to watch the Cesar to the Rescue show on Nat Geo and also many interesting show on Animals Planets. Some of the show is entertaining, putting smile on my face. However, there are a few others that do the reverse effect, they make me cry, touched by their stories. The latest favorite series that I am trying to keep track is the show calls "My Wild Affairs". It is a beautifully wrapped story about the bond between human and animals, not the usual domestic pet, but rather bizzare animals, like elephant, rhino and Orang Utan.

After getting so much exposure on this kind of show, I am kinda contemplating to get a pet of my own. However, I believe it is a huge responsibility to give them the life that they deserve. The thing with most animal is that they are the creature that know best how to love unconditionally. So for us to deserve that kind of love, I thought human to have to commit their 100%.

Still thinking.....................................

学汉语另一面的乐趣

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 02:11:00 +0000

提线木偶 - 学汉语另一面的乐趣

今年印尼三语学校协会邀请了五华县提线木偶传习所到印尼巴厘与日惹巡演，交流与授课提线木偶艺术。在巴厘岛由文桥三语学校接待了五华县提线木偶剧团的四位演员。

五华县提线木偶是中国国家级非物质文化遗产之一，也是汉族传统的一种戏剧。至今已有六百多年的历史了。这样的艺术表演带来了很多利益。

汉语本来是一种美丽的语言，可是想要学会，学者需要努力的去寻找，去体会这个语言的用处。有了这样新鲜，有趣的艺术活动，对于学生们，它不但带来了乐趣，也是能提高了小朋友们对学汉语的兴趣。让他们学懂了学汉语不仅仅是读书，写字，而从艺术表演上学者也能帮他们了解中国文化以及看懂了汉语的美丽之处。

为了欢迎和亲眼欣赏这个表演，我们的文桥三语学校的创办人和董事长，江连福先生和江睿董事长，也到场来了。这样的表演不但让小朋友们感到兴奋，当天的表演对于一小部分在场的老师和来宾们也是他们最初的提线木偶表演经验。在文桥三语学校礼堂等着我们的演员进场的时候，大家都包着期待的一种心情。

这次演员们展演了四段精彩的演出。第一个开演的是木偶书法。在此，其中一个演员，李新贤所长，让一个男木偶活起来，书写了四个美丽的汉字“马到功成”。这样的开场引起了小朋友们的注意力。接着展演的是木偶舞蹈。这次，来的四位演员，李新贤，李红霞，李伟平，和李景娴老师，都上台表演。他们戴着黑帽子，帽子连着细细的线和双手灵活的动作给了四个小小的美丽木偶舞者生命，让他们手舞足蹈。

最后两个剧目是《水漫金山》与《化子进城》。配着这两段民间传说，观众能听到两首动听的古代音乐和对话。从那四段表演，演员们表现了他们高级的表演技术。

一转眼，节目已经结束了。小同学，来宾们解散后，文桥三语学校的老师们和五华县提线木偶的演员们就开始把礼堂装备些最简单，最基本的木偶。不久，三十多个想了解这个提线木偶艺术的小朋友们就慢慢的次第进入礼堂，次第入座。

授课的时间虽然不长，而在那短短的十五分钟里，小朋友们多多少少应该体会到了提线木偶的基本技术也亲自扮演了小小提线木偶演员的角色。这次的提线木偶表演让观众们看到了学汉语另一面的乐趣。

Hello Students, Hello Fellow Teachers, Hello School and Hello Education!

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 02:53:00 +0000

It is another new chapter of my working life. I will never know if I will make it as a ‘career’, as career is defined as “an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life and with opportunities for progress.” The word “significant period of a person’s life” and “opportunities for progress” are big words for me currently. As of now, I applied for this job because I want to spend my time with a more useful activities, and of course to shed some pounds. I am glad that I did, as for the past few days, I went out for work (not much work to do yet though) and still got my house chores done at home, making sure that someone still comes back to a HOME. Although those left me with not much energy by the end of the day, I have to admit that I am proud of myself for that. Little things count, don’t they?

From this, I am also very appreciative for what my partner has to scarifie to get me to school, every single morning, EARLY. Before I start working, we woke up at 7.30 (earliest), now, We have to be out from the house by 7AM. And I couldn’t make it possible, if it is not for him. This gives me the energy to do more at work and home. Thank you, Baby. The best thing is that we manage to squeeze in our little routine of having breakfast together still. Hooray!

But getting myself here, at school, as a teacher for real, I am looking at those kids and I am very eager to show them that learning Mandarin can be super interesting and fun. Most importantly, it is a beautiful language. Forget about career advancement, I am just hoping that I will make a difference in the students’ learning.

For the past few days, I didn’t have much things to do yet. I will only be starting having my own class when the new term starts. I replaced a few classes for other teachers for the last 2 days and found myself back in my “nature.” It doesn’t feel like new job, it feels like me. And I am happy that way.

However, system and politics in workplace just failed me again this time round. I am not very keen in politics at workplace, but people are just too consumed with work that they forgot the reason that they are here, to educate (or could it be, they were just sticking with their purpose all this while?), I will never know their intention, but I guess I just need to adjust my place here.

Being here for so short period of time, I have already learning. I just witnessed a few things that are jaw dropping for me. I am no expert in education nor have more experience than the teachers who are surrounding me for the past few days, but I am new and distant enough to see that there are certain things that If I can I might want to do differently.

1. Disciplining kids

As I was writing this, a kid is being disciplined for profane languages in school.That is a good thing, isn’t it? I will definitely do it too. However, it is done in the teacher office with most of the teacher around. Today experience has taught me not to discipline kids in front of public. (NOTE TO SELF) I did that at times, the reason is because of lack of emotional control, things that I am not very good at. Thus, I am living and learning.

However, it’s worse if we do it because we are in charge, because we have the power, because we want to show to our peers that we are doing something good, because we are looking for fun stuff to laugh at. I am in no agreement to that, at all. School should have a room for this purpose, if needed, take less new students so that you make room for what needed, to provide quality!

It is not very nice to scold people in front of public, not to adults nor to kids. It is even worse when the kids started to cry, then you took out your phone and started to take a picture of them and threaten to spread it, while you laughed along with your peers. Even I know that you are not going to do that for real, but it is something I don’t appreciate. I have good-ex employer before, who discipline and explain things to their employees about things that could have been done better behind closed doors, one on one. That is a good example that I hope I will be able to follow.

2. Crown yourself with good title/position at work, but don't forget to be Human!

I also learnt no matter what your position in a company, in life, be Humble. There is a saying in Indonesian “Diatas Langit masih Ada Langit.” As of this, I have good example in our family. My second uncle and his wife are really good in staying humble. With whatever they have in life, they have been great in keeping their feet on the ground. I am very proud to have that uncle. I have the opposite type as well in my family, I am not proud of him but I hope good things happen to him though.

Politics in the office, teacher’s office to be exact, is so obvious between the Mandarin and English Divisions, and I don’t see the need for it to happen at all. But it is there. The school I am with now is well-known for their Mandarin in this island, thus, the division is the biggest, it is happened that I am a newbie in this group and someone on another division isn’t happy about the division that has gotten bigger and decided to declare war from the first day I am in. That person even thought greeting in the morning is too much for the members of the 2 divisions. Bad Example! She must have been so unhappy at work. Poor her! I have no intention to be in the war, so she can have her own war! Amen! J

I am totally self-aware, I am a type who might not make it big in a career, but I will make whatever I have in hand good, well and better. Excuse my vanity! :p

All in all, here I am starting my third full time job as a teacher in a big school. It is not a fancy job, (it even has not-so-good-looking uniform) but I am happy doing it. To be Frank and Hopeful, I can see myself having school of my own and grow it in my own way, as I jotted down almost 4 years ago. As a housewife, I don’t see myself has a dead end in realizing my dreams, I am just taking another route, it might be longer, but I feel it is something visible. Above all, I am just praying for good health, time, physical strength and the continuous support that I have already gotten and I hope to always have from my partner and other family members! 加油！

Nyepi in Bali

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Mon, 14 Mar 2016 07:31:00 +0000

Nyepi (Day of Silence) is a day celebrated mainly by the Balinese. This year is the first time of my 29 years of life which I have spent really experiencing a Nyepi day for real! As I mentioned, most of us know the meaning of the word Nyepi, but we have never thought that Balinese takes this day very literally and seriously and that’s so much respect for that!

The night before the Nyepi, there is a kind of parade going on around the street of Bali. You will experience a little interesting performance and a lot of traffic jam. During the parade, they were pushing carriage with ogoh-ogoh (symbolize the monster / evil spirits) on top, in which, from time to time, would be carried on the shoulder and sort of made the ogoh-ogoh came to life in the movement that they created.

What amazed me was the durability of the ogoh-ogoh. I heard that they are made out of bamboo and processed paper and when you see how uniquely they are shaped and how strong the waving movement made by the carrier, you too will go “wow… they are still intact?” That moment, for me, I know how much time they must have spent in preparing that. Or another sign that we can look for is the proud expression of the people who push and carry them that show you this once a year event is important.

We didn’t spend too much time on the road, the heat (even it was already night time) and the traffic jam just made it impossible to stay on the street too long. I am a happy girl, witnessing that for short 30 minutes are good enough for me. J

Move on to the D Day. My dearest partner had kept on emphasizing on how we should stock up some food for the day. I was a planner, so I did so, not knowing how serious it is. But I believe there will be people who might still take it lightly and I can't imagine how they will spend their day with 3 meals on instant noodle, IF they have them in stock. The day before, I prepared 2 days amount of food, so that on the day itself, I could just heat them up and didn’t have to do the real cooking that sometimes can be noisy. I even bought super giant candle, the only type that I could found in the nearby groceries store (we didn’t use it at the end, because when we tested it out the night before, the light from the candle was visible from outside, and that might invite the visit from the Pecalang who were the only group of people who were allowed to roam around the street on that day to make sure everyone follows the rule!)

So food was good. We had enough to get by. It was quite a boring day though, because you know that you are not allowed to go out. You didn’t stay in by choice that created even more temptation to actually want to do something outside, as restricted. But we were good residents, so we stayed in and suppressed that boredom. That night, the sky was beautiful. The only ray of light that you can see came from the sky, the moon and the star. One day when I have a house with a good rooftop, maybe I would like to lay down and count stars during Nyepi. They were just so clear. No interference from our manmade light that lights up the city for the rest of 365 days this year. However, I must admit that when I peeked out of the window to check out on the opposite unit who didn’t exactly follow the rule and had been visited twice or thrice by the Pecalang, the darkness outside scared me. To my ear the quiet moment were soothing and at the same time foreign. We would not have that til next year.

So, that was my first Nyepi in Bali.

My Version of Living in Bali

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Mon, 07 Mar 2016 10:30:00 +0000

One sixth of 2016 has passed, here we are in March. I haven’t set a goal or anything this year, as I am quite busy (I know… no one believes that a full time housewife, with no kids can be busy). Never ask us to explain, because there are no words to better express our work in making a house home, even the small space we are currently living. It takes effort so that when the sudden hunger hits in the middle of the night, there is always things that you can process to satisfy your hunger.

So here are my 40 days in Bali, my 40 days without doing anything that requires me to answer and report to anyone.

Here we are in Bali, Beach is something that a must and given the 40 days which equal to almost 6 weekends, we have visited a few different spots in Bali. Don’t ask me if it is nice, it is always nice to be out and have some fresh air (fresh air here includes the pouring rain). It is just nice to look at the vast horizon and no building blocks your view. It is always breathtaking for me. You know me, I am impressed by all the little thing and I take that at as a blessing. Isn’t it tiring to always live with no satisfaction towards anything that you encounter?

And I am setting a goal that we are going for 24 sunsets within a year time at 24 different locations in Bali. Someone has to do the thinking where to go J I, on another hand, will work on the compilation of photos. Teamwork!

Food is another good thing here. I am easily satisfied with food, someone isn’t. However, he manages to be impressed by a few restaurant in town. If he is impressed, I am in heaven! It is whole different level of satisfaction. One of the restaurants that made me fly is La Finca. Gosh… the Spanish food there is superb! I also enjoy sitting at Envy, one of the restaurants in Holiday Inn Resort Baruna Bali. When the weather is friendly, you can finish your lunch and just sit there sipping your afternoon tea and listening to the sound of the wave breaking and practically just do nothing! I super love that! The price at La Finca is quite expensive, so that’s once in a while treat. However at Envy, I think it worth every penny you spent! Medan won’t have this kind of quality food, while Singapore will never have the serene ambience. Bali is Good!

The good thing of being together is that we are together. Many things that we did a lot alone last few years, we are able to do it together now, that includes simple thing like breakfast, lunch and dinner. Now, morning breakfast and coffee is a must, while dinner at home has become a test and reward moment for us. It is a test for me whether I am cooking well, and it is very rewarding when someone else finish it and ‘clean’ their plate. Those time and heat in the kitchen is made worthwhile. It is also rewarding for the consumer who come back from work and able to enjoy good homecooked food. Isn't it home definition in the most conservative way? Surprisingly I have done quite well in Chinese food, I think. But I wonder if I will ever be able to master the spices used in Indonesian food. I am really clueless.

Even in this beautiful Bali, there are days that we just spent lazing around, watching movie, sleeping at home, and do nothing. It is the ordinary day when both of us get to recharge our body and be ready for the upcoming week. Someone was even very kind to buy me the spa session for my birthday while he was working hard a few weeks ago. Thank you, Baby… That was a very good experience!

I am also introduced to many different sides of the city, especially the habits of the locals. I gather that Balinese is more polite than people from other cities in Indonesia. I also awed by one of the 'profession' here. It is the seller and buyer of gold jewelry by the road side. They will just have a chair along the street, about 10m -15m distances from one another, and they will just sit there the whole day waiting for people to come to sell their gold jewelry (and maybe something they sell too). That’s pretty boring kind of work, and I wonder if it can give them stable income, but looking at the number of people who do that (sit and wait), I guess it does generate money!

Another big thing that I am waiting for is: Nyepi, known as “Day of Silence”. I didn’t know much and not bother to find out more before, because Nyepi is just another public holiday when I resided in another city in Indonesia. This year will be different. It is just two days away, we have already received a notice from the apartment management to inform us not to turn the light on and keep it very quite on 9^th March, from 4pm to the following day. We are also asked not to go out of our house. My partner told me that it will be very quiet that day and everybody who lives in this island, whether or not we are a Hindu, we got to respect that. Even the airport is closed! The night before the Nyepi, the New year, it is said that there will be ritual on the streets while they carry a huge statue (ogoh-ogoh), before actually burning them, this symbolizes the burning of the evil spirits. I have seen quite a bit of them in some of the temples that we passed by, and I am really excited about it. I wonder how it will turn out that day, will it be boring or serene kinda day? But it is always nice getting to know other cultures. It might be similar to the Konghuchu, or it might be totally different, the most important thing here is to respect.

So… here is a glimpse of my version of Living in Bali.

One more thing, I initially planned to take a few months break here, but not doing anything (cooking and house chores excluded) are a bit boring. So I am starting my teaching again by end of this month. The challenge is not in the work itself, I am pretty sure I will do perfectly fine or even good. The challenge is getting up early. Instead of teaching private class, I am teaching at school for real now. The bad news is school start at 7.15. Wish me luck! Next month, I am wearing a few hats at the same time, I am a teacher, I am a wife, and I am a daughter! A few responsibilities on shoulder, but I would like to do all well. J All the best~

时间都去哪儿了

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 01:52:00 +0000

这首歌应该表达了世上父母们的心声吧。。。

《时间都去哪儿了》

作词：陈曦作曲：董冬冬
编曲：董冬冬
演唱：王铮亮

门前老树长新芽
院里枯木又开花
半生存了好多话
藏进了满头白发

记忆中的小脚丫
肉嘟嘟的小嘴巴
一生把爱交给他
只为那一声爸妈

时间都去哪儿了
还没好好感受年轻就老了
生儿养女一辈子
满脑子都是孩子哭了笑了

时间都去哪儿了
还没好好看看你眼睛就花了
柴米油盐半辈子
转眼就只剩下满脸的皱纹了

记忆中的小脚丫
肉嘟嘟的小嘴巴
一生把爱交给他
只为那一声爸妈

时间都去哪儿了
还没好好感受年轻就老了
生儿养女一辈子
满脑子都是孩子哭了笑了

时间都去哪儿了
还没好好看看你眼睛就花了
柴米油盐半辈子
转眼就只剩下满脸的皱纹了

Two movies that fail not to upset me!

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Thu, 25 Feb 2016 02:38:00 +0000

Our movie night last night went so emotional. We were watching 2 movies that you might or might not heard of. One is based on true story: Stanford Prison Experiment, another is a portrayal of what’s going on in some parts of the once-known dark continent, Africa, titled: Beasts of No Nation.

Stanford Prison Experiment

You can read more about this experiment here

I was getting really upset after the movie was playing about an hour, half way through. Gosh… There are so many unethical actions that happened in it. I was surprised to see how 'cooperative' some of the “prisoners” were.

I was extremely mad towards the superintendent, Prof. Zimbardo who led the team in that experiment. He himself was too absorbed in his role, consumed by the authority he held, and too ambitious about the possible result that he wanted to see that he forgot he was being immoral and inhumane. It was madness because I actually wished him ill throughout the whole movie because he was just so callous at the time.

It is stated the people who were involved in the experiment were adapting to the roles they played. I won’t say it is adapting, they were losing themselves, consumed by power and fear. Again, I hated that the person who could actually stopped all the things that should not happen, didn’t do anything. It is sickening. Good people turn bad during that experiment just because authority weren’t well exercised. The only thing that made me glad was 416 rebels in the way that he could! That’s the spirit.

Moral of the story: Power blinds people and I am surprised on how cruel we can be when given the power. Ahhh.. I believe human being can do much better than that.

Beasts of No Nation

You can read more about the plot here

This is another movie that shattered my heart. I always like to read and watch books and movies that describe the life of ordinary people in territories which are in conflict. From that I can see the beauty in human being; even in that chaotic places, some people just want something so ordinary like peace, proper education and sometimes basic meals, nothing luxury.

In this movie, although the country is not named, but maybe parts of the story are just an exact portrayal of what the life have been for people in the war zone.

I am heartbroken to see how the life of a smart, creative, cheerful kid is ruined overnight just because of the interest of people up there. Again, it is the thirst for power that ruins the life of many. I detest that! I am against doctrine all the way. With the right mind which we fortunate enough to have right now, you can see how sickening the so-called-commandant in the movie brainwashed the ‘soldiers’, how irrational some of the doctrine can be, and you will think how absurd that people just follow.

Moral of the story: Be grateful of the life we have now. We might not have everything we want, but we have a life, a pretty fair one! We might not have the best government, but as of now, we should be thankful we live in peace. And… no matter who tells you what, I believe it is important to seek for the truth ourselves. As cliché as it can be, see it for yourself before you decide to believe in things, all things! Don’t let learnt knowledge gets in between the truth.

I am upset, I am angry and I recommend the two movies above.

The Wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Tue, 09 Feb 2016 02:48:00 +0000

Hello from Bali…

The last few months have been super busy months for us Henki & I. Since the discussion about the marriage and we got the date for the wedding, we were then busy preparing for the wedding (in Medan). On the wedding day, we are grateful that every single thing went smoothly. The reception was a bit of a beautiful chaos because there are so many surprises from friends, family and MC which are all unplanned. We apologize if there was anything that was unsatisfactory, especially my performance on the stage! I am not prepared, galsss… But I love that song so much, 我只在乎你 (wo zhi zai hu ni) from the legendary Teresa Deng. You can call me old, but it is more meanigful than Taylor Swift’s song (no offense to Taylor’s fans. :p)

Anyway, I would really like to keep a reminder for myself how things had been before during and after the wedding for us.

During the preparation, we both have been doing so good. Thanks to a good friend that gave me a heads-up, saying that many couples got into disagreement, quarrels, or even breaking up when they were preparing for the wedding. I can understand that, since it is no longer involve only the two of us, but the family. For this, I would really give thanks to those super understanding family members that have made our life easier during the planning. I love you all for that.

Then, I would really give thanks to my family, aunties, uncles, who had lent helping hands during the preparation and on the D-day itself. And after the event, during the farewell with my relatives, there are so much tear shed and thank you for showing me that I am much loved in this family. I feel bad because Henki received so much threats from my relatives. He had no choice but to take a good care of me, since there will be big riot from my big big family if he doesn’t do so. I love you, baby =D

Apart from family members, I would say that I am the luckiest girl on Earth to have such a wonderful small group of friends. Some friends have helped me a lot during the preparation of the wedding. It is not only a saying, but I really do not know how to do it without them. Thank you for being such wonderful friends. I believe in Karma, and they are one of the best Karma that I had/have ever had! Thank you… And a year, two years, ten years, twenty, thirty years from now, I will never be able to thank you gals enough. I love you!!!!

I would like to thank friends who had taken time off their busy schedule and made the trip to attend our wedding. We apologize that we are unable to give you full company during your stay in Medan. But sincerely, your presence there is so much appreciated. Thank you!!!

And hey… a beautiful wedding is dreams of all girls, but I got to know that the gentlemen may have their own version of dreamed wedding too, and often it is something simple. For this, I would like to thank my partner in life for being so patience during the preparation of all things, for dealing with the Medanese wedding culture with an opened heart.

It wasn’t a grand wedding, but it was a meaningful one. It taught us a lot during the whole process, about patience, gratefulness, simplicity, value in life, and above all, love.

My mom's best advice to me is “The most important thing is not the wedding, but how both of us walk our life together in the future as a family. It is important not to always take, but to give too. Patience, communication, honesty, respect are all that matter.”

I hope with her good prayers for both of us, we can live this life together as husband and wife, just like how mom and dad have been in their togetherness for almost 40 years. It will not be always bed full of roses but it can be a beautiful life if we both give our best to it.

We may not have the same faith, religiously, but we believe that it is important to be Kind.

Thank you, All and Thank you, Life… For giving us each other!

Love,

Henki & Linda

2015 to 2016

noreply@blogger.com (Linda Tan) — Wed, 06 Jan 2016 09:38:00 +0000

2016 has been running for a week, I have been busy, super busy, lately that I can’t find the time to actually recap 2015 on time. So here are both:

Welcoming 2016 as I say thank to 2015.

2-0-1-5

Last year Jan 1, 2015, I had spent it in Turkey with mom and dad, uncles and aunties and a cousin. Turkey’s sky will always have a place in my heart. It was a beautiful country. However what makes it worth the while is that I am super happy to see how my mom and dad enjoyed the trip, their first snow, awed by their culture, and it has been a while since I travelled far with them. I don’t know when will be the next time I will be able to do it with them again. L Thus, for that moment in the past, I am happy for them, sincerely.

Nothing much going on last year, I had reached my personal goal in my short teaching career that has to be postponed to unknown time at the end of the year (2015). So I am really grateful that I have met those good students of mine, understanding parents and the overall experience. It is always great to know what you do actually matter to others. That’s life isn’t it? Something that was still related to this is that have passed the highest level of Chinese Proficiency Test. (YAY!) It has been postponed since 2013, but as always, I am proud that I actually can cross it off my list now. However, I realize that the learning hasn’t finished, it’s ongoing! J

A few trips I made this year are to Bali in June and not forgetting to stop by in Singapore for a lightning quick visit. Bali was super good, loved one took his time off to accompany me around and fulfilled all the promises that he had made (even those that I have forgotten). It was a super good time. During that visit, we too settled a few things out. We love, we lost, we trust, we disappoint, we laugh, but most importantly we hold on and we are better! Something unforgettable during the trip is our road trip to Lombok. It is a long bike ride to the ferry terminal, long sailing to another island, times them twice before we got back home in Bali. No plan or whatsoever before we did the trip. It was spontaneous. And I am super glad that we made it well. I learned to trust in him more from that trip. I think he too appreciated that I am not actually a spoilt brat! It's a good trip! Singapore was good too! Super even! In that short trip, I visited the clinic (was my second home before) and saw those nice people in it. I managed to visit other friends from other chapter of my life too. Thank you, people! J

October trip was to Kuala Lumpur! There are 2 sole purposes: MotoGP and Shopping! With partner and Mom! Ahh… the result of MotoGP disappointed someone, but overall, it is good to get the taste of it. During this trip with mom, I am grateful of what mom did for me. Hahhh… that feeling of being loved so unconditionally is priceless, I will trade it with NOTHING. I am happy too because I can accompany her for an eye-check and came home with a peace of mind that she is well. We didn’t travel first class, nor stayed in 5 stars hotel, but somehow the trip was an enjoyable one! Thank you Life!

In July, received a phone call from a guy who asked if we should get married. That wasn’t a proposal, that was a discussion. Yup! So I am marrying that guy. Only then in December 26, 2015, he proposed when we quarreled. Now I got a ring on my finger and I will always remember that day! Where else can I find a guy like that! Both of us are not perfect, no one is, so both of us have decided to walk this life together. So for Him and I, and our families, this is a big highlight of the year. So people, shower us with your prayers! J

At the very end of the year, we are still figuring out our way, it will be continuous, it’s life. It goes up and it goes down and we hope that we are granted the strength to make things work, the good news is TOGETHER!

So, Thank you 2015. Thank you for granted us with kindness, with patience, with forgiveness, with big heart, with laughter and most of all with love. With all those things we have managed our anger, disappointment, bitterness and tears well. Thank you!!!

2016 be kind to us. I have no plan for now. But I will manage. Although I am anxious with the new title that I am going to have in Jan 24, 2016, I know deep down I am going to find my way. I always have. Happy New Year, All~

Love,
Lin ^ ^