Linux Hater's Blog

here we go again

2011-11-22T23:02:00.000-08:00

Just found out about u1db.

The Ubuntu One team have started work on u1db, a project codename for an easy-to-use database API layer which can work on any platform (Ubuntu, web servers, Windows, smartphone platforms) with the existing native databases (SQLite, MySQL, API layers, everything)

Is it just me, or does this sound like the database equivalent of pulse audio? I can't wait until we have the ultimate abstracted UI. The one that lets you watch porn in the same way across all platforms. It will have to be open source, of course.

Seriously though. If I've learned anything, it's that OSS projects can't make a choice. And when you can't make a choice, what do you do? You support all options! Yay! How do we support all options? An abstraction layer! Yay! Abstraction layers are fun to write! Yay!

gold

2011-09-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

http://blogs.adobe.com/open/2011/06/focusing-on-the-next-linux-client.html Opens with:

"Way back in 1999 I predicted a significant market for desktop Linux by 2005. (I was targeting better than Mac OS type numbers, in the 10-15% range.) It was clear back then that Linux had found a substantial adoption as a server OS, and it seemed only time before the desktop adoption rivaled at least “the other desktop”.

progress

2011-08-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

In true open source fashion, the community debates the most important issue of the day

https://bugzilla.mozilla.org/show_bug.cgi?id=678775

I for one, think we should remove the kernel version number from dmesg output. I mean, it's changing all the time anyways.

twat

2011-04-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

I've revived my twitter account.

http://www.twitter.com/hatinglinux

I still think it's kinda lame, but posting there is just easier. Light-weight micro ranting ftw.

Sounds like fun

2011-03-11T14:01:00.000-08:00

http://blogs.gnome.org/bolsh/2011/03/11/lessons-learned/

tl;dr of the tl;dr: C.L.U.S.T.E.R.F.U.C.K.

it buuuuuuurns

2011-02-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

Bwahahahahaahah Nokia.

What a shit show in the making. It keeps getting better. And then of course there's this article. Intel, if you have to say you're not blinking, then you're blinking.

Quoth Intel:

Our strategy has always been to provide choice when it comes to operating systems, a strategy that includes Windows, Android, and MeeGo. This is not changing.

Uh huh. Your strategy has been to develop a shitty choice that goes along less shitty choices. If you're not building the "best" and just building a "choice", that has fail written all over it.

And I love all these blogs claiming they should have gone for Android. HAVE ANY OF YOU ACTUALLY USED WP7? Seriously. Just try it. It's at least as good as Android. And it doesn't have the, "lets be like linux distros and invent a new home screen UI for every damn phone" syndrome. OMG BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE COPY AND PASTE! WTF people, Apple proved that you could ship a good phone w/o it. I'd much rather use WP7 w/o c&p than Android with it.

These bloggers smell of the "oh the last time I used anything Microsoft was windows 98 and I'm not touching anything from them again!". Is there a TM for that?

Nokia, with it's strategy of symbian, than maemo, then symbian, then meego, then qt, then symbian, then linux, then symbian, then open source symbian, then gtk, then qt, has clearly shown the open source is the way! Maybe that CEO dude meant to say open source is the burning platform. As in, it burns you every time you try to build on it.

Moar flames

2011-01-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

Jeez, linux can only handle 5000 comments? What's up with that? MySQL FTW! Carry on.

Vuvubuntu

2010-07-11T21:45:00.000-07:00

I just realized. Lusers are the vuvuzelas of the software world.

OMG OMG OMG. In addition to totally fucked window controls, we now have a font!

I'm so excited about this thing because it's going to fix so many problems. It's going to make my 30 inch monitor work, and give me awesome 3d graphics, and all the game companies will port to linux to take advantage of this font, and my wireless problems will go away. And it will make Intel open source their gpu, and Microsoft will roll over and die.

I mean seriously. That's what happened when they release Bitstream Vera, and Liberation. Right? All the free desktop was missing was a fucking font.

Oh btw, will this make other websties that specify the standard web fonts look good? No?

Wut

2010-05-10T10:30:00.001-07:00

I was just taking a look at S-man's announcement for Ubuntu Unity and Light versions. Most of it is blah, except for this tidbit:

... The dual-boot, web-focused use case is sufficiently different from general-purpose desktop usage to warrant a fresh look at the way the desktop is configured. We spent quite a bit of time analyzing screenshots of a couple of hundred different desktop configurations from the current Ubuntu and Kubuntu user base, to see what people used most. We also identified the things that are NOT needed in lightweight dual-boot instant-on offerings...

Wut. Ok. Let me learn you something. I've seen lots of Linux screenshots in my time. If you were actually optimizing for the freetard, basically what you'd have is a desktop with two semi-transparent terminals. One tailing a syslog, and another showing an irc session. Oh and like some pager with a bazillion virtual desktops that are totally useless. Oh, and don't forget the scantily-clad, objectified female as the wallpaper image.

As for the rest of the article? OMG, You put a fucking dock on the side. In OSX and Win7, doing the same thing takes like 3 seconds. Do you really need to write a whole giant announcement about it?

Oh and I like the two sections at the end, about "Relationship to Gnome Shell" and "Relationship to KDE". Even the S-man has figured out that you can't just go "innovate" in the OSS community without shouting out to everyone. Because we don't want to piss off the ten people who care about Gnome Shell or KDE. Fuck. Could you imagine an Apple announcement saying something like "Relationship to Windows"?

A year later

2010-04-27T19:52:00.001-07:00

Woah, Lundude is at it again.

Don't worry, it's mostly the same stuff. Linux Desktop sucks. It still sucks. Even a year later. When it's sucked for the last N years, why do you think N+1 will make it so much better? But I'm sooooo sure that there's just a business plan hiding under there somewhere, and I'm the only person to think this hard about it..

The rest of us know that if there were a business model that made sense and could be presented in a 45 minute slide-deck in some classroom, then someone would have done it already.

But I had some other funny thoughts:

The big players in the linux desktop are the distributions. They distribute stuff. They're somewhat ok at distributing their own stuff. But they're supremely awesome at making it hard for third parties to distribute their stuff. It's the distributions (and more precisely, the fact that there are so many of them) that make the actual distributing hard. Go figure.

Another thing. Why are y'all _still_ focused on random niche desktop thick client apps. Linux's problem is not a lack of thick client apps. Hardly anyone uses them, other than Office. And besides, that problem is solved. Distributing thick client apps to generic PC hardware is MS's turf. You wouldn't try to take on Google's search advertising business with a rag tag group of volunteers would you? So why the fuck would you go after MS's bread and butter? You win by solving the problem in a new better way, not making the problem worse in a shittier way.

Besides, the desktop is dying. Web apps are taking over. And it so happens that Linux is in a pretty good place to be an awesome web terminal. Even Google thinks so. But it still takes a google to herd enough people together to produce something like ChromeOS. Y'all could have probably put something like that together in as much time, if you could only focus and stop chasing after Microsoft's sinking boat.

Y'all bitch an complain that nobody writes apps for Linux. Boo hoo. Hardly anyone writes apps for windows either these days. They all write for the web. You got your fucking level playing field that you've been bitching about for years. But I'm sure it's still going to take some eeeevil corporation with a giant clue stick to show y'all how it's done.

A tale of ogg

2010-03-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

Oh Ogg. The format that trapped many a user's music files on lowly Linux desktops. I know I've got some oggs somewhere that I can't listen to any more in itunes. Or any device that I care about, for that matter. And I'm too anal to re-encode them into the only format that matters: mp3.

Then today I saw this nice little tear down of Ogg. I'm not going to write much here since this article has a beauty of it's own. But I will quote a bit:

More commonly, the Ogg proponents will respond with hand-waving arguments best summarised as Ogg isn't bad, it's just different. My reply to this assertion is twofold:
Being too different is bad. We live in a world where multimedia files come in many varieties, and a decent media player will need to handle the majority of them. Fortunately, most multimedia file formats share some basic traits, and they can easily be processed in the same general framework, the specifics being taken care of at the input stage. A format deviating too far from the standard model becomes problematic.
Ogg is bad. When every angle of examination reveals serious flaws, bad is the only fitting description.
The third reaction bypasses all technical analysis: Ogg is patent-free, a claim I am not qualified to directly discuss. Assuming it is true, it still does not alter the fact that Ogg is a bad format. Being free from patents does not magically make Ogg a good choice as file format. If all the standard formats are indeed covered by patents, the only proper solution is to design a new, good format which is not, this time hopefully avoiding the old mistakes.

Wow, doesn't this sound fucking familiar? Oh wait, %s/Ogg/Linux Desktop/g ... Ahhh... there we go.

They took our codes!

2010-02-03T12:16:00.001-08:00

Huh. GregKH is complaining. Again. Big suprise.

Short story: Google uses Linux to create Android. Google makes some kernel modifications, in their own tree. Google has no time to deal with kernel community to re-architect their stuff so that it can go mainstream. GregKH whines like a baby.

Dude, get a clue. Seriously.

You can go on and continue to waste keynotes at conferences (yea, I'm sure the the organizers are super happy about that) to complain about people "stealing" your code. Waaa Waaa. Someone took my hippy license and took my code and isn't giving it back. Waaa.

Hello? Did someone not realize that Google is basically all about stealing Linux and "forking" it? Do you think that google server that you're hitting is really running bleeding edge Linux 2.6.35RC62? No, they're probably running some 2 year old kernel with their own patches, because they want to insulate themselves from upstream idiocy. They're not going to give you those patches, and even if they did, they probably couldn't because of upstream churn.

When it comes to Android, Google has done what the license asks. Make all the modifications public. If you and your rag-tag bunch of kernel developers want _their_ HOT new shit, the suck it up and bring the code in. It looks like they've even produced patches and sent you reviews. Don't like what they got? well, they're already doing more than what's required, so stop complaining.

You see, they've got this product to ship. And they've also got this competitor called Apple. You may have heard of them. So, yea, they _could_ sit their rearchitecting their interfaces so that some kernel dev which they don't pay and don't give shit about can feel like he's important... and watch Apple eat their lunch.

Or they could say fuck you guys. We're the one that's actually building something here. We'll get around to it, maybe, after we win.

Seriously, has this guy shipped real software before? And before someone gives the obvious answer, shipping upstream kernel releases does not count as "shipping" or "real". Just go look at the redhat kernel to see why that's the case.

Also, why go after google? There are tons of folks that do the same shit. They're just not as big. By doing so, you just look opportunistic and self-centered. Me me me me me me.

PS. I was thinking, maybe he should change the "staging" tree to the "hostage" tree. I mean, that's basically what it's used for.

BM's

2010-01-29T11:42:00.000-08:00

Well, it looks like there's at least one business model out there that kinda works for companies shipping open source software: be some search engine's bitch.

Mozilla is Google's bitch. And now Ubuntu is Yahoo's bitch. Maybe Novell will be Bing's bitch?

I gotta better idea for you Ubuntu. Why don't you take your awesome hardware auto detection capabilities, and make it such that every time you install, you hit a server, which in turn causes an instant live auction between bing, google, and yahoo, who will bid money to make their search engine the default for that install.

I'm warning all you freetards. Some day, Ubuntu's installer is going to ask you if you want to install the google/yahoo/bing toolbar. And it will be present on every single window. Even your panel, and your xterm. Every shell command that you mistype will result in a google search. Then canonical can make ass loads of money and give you a crappy desktop system for free. It's going to be awesome. And some search engine will get like a hundred new people visiting their site.

BTW, it's amazing how desparate Yahoo looks at this point. A me-too search engine in bed with a me-too operating system. That's some nice thought leadership there Yahoo. Because you know, Google's all going to be like, we need to find some other distro that we can sponsor. Wait, what? They're building their own distro? It's going to ship on supported hardware and be somewhat usable? And it's based on Linux? ha ha ha. That's bullshit. Everybody knows that open source products won't succeed unless they have the support of the FSF. The FSF knows that the people want. Please. Stop your nonsense.

Some other notes for yahoo:

- These are Linux users. They are too cheap to click on your ads.

- These are freetards. They think it's cool to use adblock and pirate music.

So yea, uh, have fun trying to actually generate revenue from them.

Bad karma

2009-11-20T15:38:00.000-08:00

Lets see, it's been almost 18 months since I originally posted Evolution of an Ubuntu user, but looks like they still haven't got their fucking act together.

I know a lot of you freetards out there dream of jobs where you can work on Linux, write code for Linux, and pen flowery blog posts that make it up on hacker news, but let me tell you, unless you're one of the few who are hired by Redhat to contribute nothing to their bottom line and instead work on their playground sand castle known as Fedora, it's going to suck.

So anyways, I had the awesome opportunity to upgrade to Karmic. Cuz I know, like shuttleman says, every Ubuntu release is the best fucking Ubuntu release ever.

Problem #1? Using update-manager to upgrade Ubuntu from behind the firewall is ass-slow. Yep, you guessed it. They try to do something that doesn't respect http_proxy and has to time-out before progressing. What year is this? really guys? Just because Ubuntards work out of their basement, doesn't excuse you from not supporting one of the most common practices in company network environments. I mean, it took us like five years to get you to add that damn option in the installer so that it didn't choke on a fat dick trying to the apt repositories. Now this. Amateur.

And while on the subject of proxies, it looks like your new shiny empathy client doesn't support proxies. Yep, there's a bug for that. Yep that's some empathy right therr. Obviously you totally understand your users get their shit done. Otherwise you wouldn't change my default chat app that fails to download my contact list, even from a server that's behind the proxy.

Problem #2? Wee! Something about my xconfig borked during an upgrade. And now I get a fucking strobe light prompt. I know you want to always give me a challenge to get a reasonable display, but do you actually have to try to damage my eyesight? What the fuck happened to bullet proof X? oh, right maybe that was only for intrepid, because, you know why add a useful feature if you're just going to keep it around for every subsequent release and not rewrite it?

Problem #3? Google reader on firefox is crazy slow. I mean, ff3.5 on jaunty worked just fine. But it's ok, nobody uses google reader. Yep, there's a bug for that, too, with a bunch of awesome Ubuntu contributors saying "me too!" "me too!" OMFG this bug is going to get fixed if we all keep saying me too! How many users does it take to fix a bug? None, you dipshit. You need a dev that gives a fuck.

Problem #4? I'm sure pulseaudio has something to do with this, but the volume on my computer appears to have exactly 3 notches between quiet and SUPER FUCKING TRIPLE SONIC BOOM YOU WIN! Ubuntu -- damaging your senses, one sense at a time. Maybe Linux is totally awesome if you're blind and deaf, and you just connect a serial console to your ass.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, there's a bug for that. Filed in March 2008!

Ok fine, I'm totally going to schedule three work days to upgrade when Lactating Leper comes out. If only there was some calendaring app that I could use to remind me.. because as far as I can see, Evolution is actually devolving. Come on Novell! just a little more. You've almost killed it! Only a few more smacks!

Target: Lusers

2009-10-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

Just came across this wonderful email from the Fedora Advisory Board. In it, they try to describe who they're creating the Fedora distribution for. Here are their four criteria:

is voluntarily switching to Linux
is familiar with computers, but is not necessarily a hacker or developer
is likely to collaborate in some fashion when something's wrong with Fedora
wants to use Fedora for general productivity, either using desktop applications or a Web browser

This seems like a reasonable thing to do. I mean, it's always good to try to understand your user, right? Unfortuantely, the above description fails fantastically in so many ways. Look closely, and you'll see what they're really trying to say:

You're a freetard. If you're voluntarily switching to Linux, so that means you already find intrinsic value in it. Well, the software itself isn't up to par with the other stuff around, so what does Linux have that other's don't? We all know the answer to that one: freedom. But you know, the best way to improve your general purpose operating system is to build it for the tiny number of specific people who have already chosen to use your system. Everybody knows that.
You don't need any support, cuz you ain't gettin' any!
You can tolerate bugs, because our shit is full of bugs. You are also willing to file bug reports, only to see them linger forever. Another way of reading that is: you don't actually have a real life and you don't have anything else that you need to get done.
You only need a subset of features that Windows 98 had.

Brilliant! I think they've just created a nice 4-point summary why Linux is still on the sidelines of the desktop OS battlefield.

Here's an idea

2009-09-21T17:41:00.001-07:00

If you're a freetard, but you need to run Windows at work or something, I've got an idea for a utility that will keep you true to the cause.

Well, a mockup for it anyways. I call it kanye-freetard-notify:

Suggestions box

2009-08-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

I had to start using an Ubuntu box at work again, so I've got some fresh (or refreshed?) hate to unload. Since some of you seem to think I'm doing this to be constructively critical of Linux (you can think whatever the hell you want), I'll write these as if I was dropping notes into a suggestions box:

Please add a --shit-that-fucking-works flag to apt-cache search

How many hours do I have to waste wading through the monument of shit known as the debian package repository? I cringe to think of all the hours wasted arguing about how to correctly package apps and libraries that just don't work to start with. As a user, I don't care that the repository contains fuckteen different twitter clients. Could you just tell me the three that work? Oh wait, actually, this is open source, so could you tell me which one is th only one that kinda works?

Not only are you distracting me with having to try shit that doesn't work, you also are bewildering me with choices, most of which I don't care about, and most of which I have to spend time figuring out that I don't care about.

If you haven't seen this talk on the paradox of choice, go see it.

Everytime I use apt, I think I experience all the negatives that this guy talks about. 10 bazillion packages! Hurray! I don't even feel like trying to find one anymore.

I'm sure somebody is going to point out that on Ubuntu, that's why they separate main and universe and multiverse. Like main is supposed to be the good shit, and the rest of it is, like, whatever. Well you know what? If I stick to just the main repository on Ubuntu, then the whole thing sucks African gorilla cock. So don't go telling me that it's great because there's all these packages but then only 100 of them are actually useful. Because if you compare that set to what's available on a real desktop OS, it's just pathetic.

Please don't switch the Chromium PPA builds to 64bit on Ubuntu AMD64

The Chromium project recently made some noise about going 64 bit. I'm pretty sure that the Chromium PPA folks are going to switch to the x64 build for Ubuntu x64 as soon as they can.

Can I jus remind you that the Flash plugin for 64 bit is still alpha? and still crashes all the fucking time?

The greatest thing about the Chromium PPA is that its 32bit! I can actually use a stable flash build (though there are other issues), and it kinda mostly works. I can't say that for 64bit firefox and 64bit flash.

A lot of people have been using 32bit stuff for a long time. And especially in open source, that's the only way you know that something has a chance in hell of working.

Oh and BTW. Did anyone notice that Snow Leopard implemented browser plugins in separate processes? They pretty much made nspluginwrapper. Except it works, apparently.

So let's take stock. Yes, nspluginwrapper has been around for a long time. It's kind of a good idea and kinda works. Then Apple folks decided to do it, and it was done.

Sadly, so typical. The freetard line about, "oh open source is so flexible, it often implements new things first". Well you know what? When an idea is actually good, commercial companies still seem to be able to better implement these new things in less overall time.

Anyways, I think I've got a few more suggestions, but they'll have to wait.

No, it's not dead

2009-08-28T16:54:00.001-07:00

It's just that all the new posts you want are actually in git.

Just too lazy to make a stable release.

The fail train that is Munich

2009-06-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

Wow, nice link in the comments.

http://limuxwatch.blogspot.com/

An entire blog dedicated to the failure that is the Munich Linux transition.

Hopefully the rest of Germany and Europe can learn from Munich's mistakes.

Why don't we all go over to this guy's blog and give him a nice warm hug.

To all you mono haters

2009-06-12T12:00:00.001-07:00

Take that.

But seriuosly. Why don't we all just wait another 20 years until everyone forgets that C# came from Microsoft. Then can we use it? I'm sure by then, the real OS'es of the world will have moved onto something even more productive, and freetards will continue to re-discover everything all over again.

Oh, and btw. Gnote is the most retardonkulous project ever. Could you guys also port Banshee, Beagle and F-spot too? Fuck. Not only do you guys waste your time creating busted clones of proprietary software, now you're creating busted clones of free software too? Amazing.

Actually, I don't think my left buttcheek agrees with C++. Could we please get a port of Gnote to assembly code?

Oh wait, I think there's a lot of IP in intel x86 assembly. Hmm, how about then you port it to something that runs on the OGP card. That would be, like, totally awesome.

Sigh

2009-05-19T07:20:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've given this Lunduke fellow too much credit.

A challenge? really?

Let me point out a few things:

You take yourself waaay too seriously. Imagine what a twat I'd look like if I went after every other person that talked shit about my blog. And just so you know, I don't fucking follow your blog OK? Some reader sent me the link to your video. He probably felt sorry for you.
You clearly don't get the point of this blog.
You also clearly don't get the point of me being anonymous. Do you really think I want freetards hassling me in my real life? I just want a place to voice my frustrations. It's all o'y'all that are having a hissy fit over it. Do you think I want dialogue? Think again lundude. I'm done trying to talk to freetards.
Also, if you haven't noticed, freetards are notoriously terrible at separating an argument from the person making it. So why the fuck would I give them any opportunity to dismiss me just because of who I am or what I do for a living.
It's nice that you have nice balls. I still think I make better points. Also, I do it without wasting 30 minutes of peoples time by making them watch your inability to deal with xrandr.

If you want to make some points, why don't you write them on your lame blog. Then, if I feel so inclined, I'll write some stuff on my lame blog. We will make it impossible for our readers to follow. Isn't that how you freetards do it?

Poser Hater

2009-05-14T00:03:00.001-07:00

http://lunduke.com/?p=429

What the fuck. This is the quality of presentations at LinuxFest NW?

First of all, you just took my posts and made them and to slides. Do you see anything that says G-P-fucking-L on this page? I didn’t think so.

Secondly, your talk is just straight up dumb. You have a bunch of the same, lame, and obvious ideas as everyone else. Donations for software that doesn’t exist yet? Telling freetards what to do? Uh huh. Keep trying.

Thirdly, nuh-vidia? OpenSuse build service is awesome because it saves on bandwith charges? Seriously. Your audience is more retarded than you are. Congratulations. I too, can make myself look smart by surrounding myself with a bunch of freetards.

Fourthly, does anyone at these open source conference know how to film a presentation? Seriously. I want to see the fucking slides. I don’t want to see your douchebag face for 30 minutes. It was more fun watching you try to get your external monitor working. In fact, your presentation would have been awesome if that’s all you did the whole time.

A tribute

2009-05-07T01:27:00.001-07:00

It’s the end of an era, really.

As those of you who have nothing better to do than follow Linux news might have heard, Debian is switching to eglibc.

What’s eglibc you say? since nobody will say it in public, I will. It’s just glibc, sans jackass. The project says they’re trying to “maintain an open development environment encouraging broad, cooperative developer participation”, but those of you who have been around know exactly what this means.

F. U. D.

Yes, that’s right. Fuck Ulrich Drepper.

The Drepper’s public jackassery knows no limits. In fact, I could learn a thing or two from him. But you know, it’s really reassuring to know that for the last N years, the core library of the Linux desktop was maintained by the biggest douchebag of them all.

For the unitiated, go click that Debian link, and find all the referenced bugs. Let me summarize: Found a bug? expect a high probability of being responded to with:

“Fuck you”

“You don’t pay me”

“ARM sucks. Fuck ARM”

“You can’t be aksin me no questions. Who da fuck is you to be aksin me these questions?”

.. or all of the above, if you’re good. If you want more, try googling “Ulrich Drepper arrogant” for a nice sampling.

Anyways, the the Debian move signals an end to the Dreppster’s reign of terror. I will miss him, really. Thanks for holding glibc back for years man. It has certainly made writing this blog easier. You may be a decent programmer, but that’s definitely not what I’ll remember you for.

I can’t decide which is worse. Novell paying GregKH or Redhat paying Drepper. I hope they duel some day.

Can we do this guy a favor?

2009-04-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

I dunno why this caught my eye, but it did.

Why don't we do this guy a favor and answer his question? Give yourself the warm fuzzies by preventing another tragedy.

Wile E Reality catches up to FreeRunner

2009-04-06T11:57:00.001-07:00

Sweetness. Looks like the FreeRunner is finally dead.

I’d just like to take a moment, and lament about all the top notch features we could have had with a truly open source phone like the FreeRunner.

grep’ing through your address book using extended regular expressions
finger’ing your Fav Five
Having 10 different competing UI’s packaged by dozens of different distributions
Being able to ssh to your phone so that you can check it’s uptime
Using PGP to sign your SMS messages. Beware though, after the signature, you’ll only have 5 characters left to work with.
Sending people videos in ogg theora format
Losing data randomly with ext4
Unloading the kernel module for the asterisk button because I never use it
Changing your keypad to dvorak layout, where the most commonly used numbers are in the middle row
Using gkrellm to monitor your battery power, as it is slowly sucked away by gkrellm
More efficiently using your tiny screen with a tiling window manager
Running only free and open javascript
Warning users that their keypad lock password is not strong enough
E17, some day. No, really, someday.