• One afternoon, after our car broke down, Ania and I were stranded in a desert. It was 111°F and 40 miles to the nearest town - we were in serious trouble. Luckily, a group of Lithuanians happened by and rescued us.
• One evening, after a guide gave us bad advice, Ania and I were stuck 8000ft up a mountain in a thunderstorm. It was lightning and a four mile hike to safety - we were in serious trouble. Luckily, a middle-aged Italian couple happened by and rescued us.
• One night, after receiving incomplete route information from a ranger, Ania and I were marooned in a forest. We’d no flashlights and a treacherous trail back - we were in serious trouble. Luckily, two young Spanish guys happened by and rescued us.

Isn’t it a wonderful world? Lithuanians, Italians, Spanish helping the English and Polish. What a truly heavenly world community.

Except… (more…)

Spiders give us the creeps.

Rats repulse us.

But when it comes to your worst nightmare, there’s no competition - something lurking in the shadows. Especially if it might eat you alive.

Thanks to ‘Jaws’, one creature above all others haunts that nightmare: the Great White Shark. And what a monster it is -

• 2000lb (900kg) 
• 20 feet long (6m) 
• 70 razor-sharp teeth

The ultimate mindless, monstrous killing machine. And it’s waiting in the watery shadows just for you!

Not that it’s the only man-eater - Tiger Sharks and Bull Sharks have killed more Americans in the last 30 years than even the mighty Great White.

So to risk being eaten by these monsters… well, you’d have to be absolutely crazy!

One name: (more…)

Simple proof of what’s wrong with the world and how to save it.

Recently, I described the joy of rescuing Sarah, an orphaned crow, from certain death. However, not everyone was moved by my heart-warming endeavours. And this perfectly illustrates the root of all the world’s ills and what we can do to stop it.

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Writing this post has been a tremendous struggle - I hated every second of it.

• It’s not the post I started to write.
• It’s not the post I ever dreamed I’d write.
• And it’s certainly not the post I ever wanted to write.

So why write it?

To finish a story I started last week.

So if that and the title aren’t big enough clues, I have some bad news - Sarah, the crow we rescued, is dead.

Ania and I are absolutely devastated. We looked after her for only three full days but in that time -

• we saw her character.
• we saw her developing - learning how to drink, to eat.
• we saw her loving life.

We’d have loved to keep her, but knew that was being totally selfish and that her best chance of survival and of living a full life as a wild bird was for us to give her up and take her to a bird sanctuary.

This we did.

Their specialist told us she was healthy and had a good chance of being released.

Just hours later, she was dead.

So what happened that a healthy crow suddenly died?

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Sunday, June 1st, Ania and I spent eight hours online searching for a sightseeing-packed summer holiday. Finally, we plumped on the U.S..

We found the cheapest flight, cheapest car hire, and plotted a route to include such wonders as the Grand Canyon, Yosemite and Yellowstone. Over the next week, we verified a few facts, then Saturday, went online to book everything.

Within seconds we were as miserable as sin. And one of us was swearing profusely. (I’ll let you guess which.)

The flight we needed had rocketed by £160 ($320). We were already over budget, so that bust everything.

We returned to scouring the web, vainly hoping a cheap flight would miraculously appear.

But miracles just don’t happen, do they?

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My last post talked about filthy, disease-spreading rats.

But I know another filthy, disease-spreading species.

A species far more dangerous than the humble rat because it knows it’s doing wrong, but just doesn’t care.

Last Saturday, Ania and I took a train to the historic city of York. Under a glorious blue sky, we ambled through Museum Gardens where squirrels scampered amongst picnickers, then by the gothic, 800-year-old Minster. Sipping freshly-made lemonade, we meandered around The Shambles, awed by the 16th century buildings nestling in the maze of narrow, cobbled streets.

Later, we strolled along the city’s fortified wall. Its lush green ramparts were speckled white and gold with daisies and buttercups. We took a break halfway around to admire the view. Dangling our legs over the side of the wall, we tucked into a picnic while basking in the serenity of a sleepy suburb shaded by towering oaks and vibrant with birdsong…

Ahhhh, heaven!

Or was it? What’s wrong with this picture?

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Most of us hope for happiness, success, companionship, health… We welcome improvement to our lot and avoid anything that threatens our dreams. Of course, it’s great to get what we want when we want it, but shouldn’t we question the cost more often than we do?

Whether it’s made from precious metals, has designer labels, or is as mundane as the gossip-filled magazine, most of what we ‘can’t live without’ is just utter crap without which our lives would be equally fulfilled.

And to make all this crap we destroy the world.

Whether it’s deforesting the Amazon in Brazil to graze cows for burgers or flooding ancient valleys in China for hydroelectric power, we don’t just exploit the world but beat the living crap out of it till it gives us what we want. (Note, that’s what we ‘want’, not what we ‘need’!)

Let’s face it, if the earth was a child it would’ve been taken into care decades ago.

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Cancer? Well, it’s one of those good news/bad news deals, isn’t it?

The bad news is one in three of us is going to become intimately acquainted with cancer leading to a lifelong relationship.

The good news is not to worry if you don’t get on as that ‘lifelong’ friendship won’t actually last that long!

Isn’t there any way to avoid befriending such a disagreeable character?

Let’s see, you can eat healthily, avoid excess in… well, everything, you can exercise, make all manner of lifestyle changes, but there’s no guarantee. Especially as no amount of bran, jogging, or abstinence will ever change your genes.

Bottom line?

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President Bush recently requested another $70 billion to fund the campaign in Iraq. Was Saddam a monster? Were there WMDs? Links to Al-Qaeda? Was it all about oil…? All excellent questions, but isn’t the question - Can’t $70 billion be better spent?

I don’t know about you but I like to fritter my hard-earned cash away on little luxuries like, oh, I don’t know, food, shelter, heating… So thanks to this voracious ‘shopping’ addiction of mine, it’s possible I’ll never see $70 billion in my bank account.

Of course, it might be different for you - the average wage in the U.S. is around $40,000 so you could see $70 billion in your account in just 1.75 million years.

Still, just in case you retire before you hit that landmark, here’s what $70 billion actually looks like - $70,000,000,000.00

Yep, that’s a whole lot of zeroes!

So, back to ‘the’ question - what could you spend all those zeroes on if not on killing people? (more…)

Some people are just so lazy. They’d like to change the world, but it’s just such hard work! Isn’t there an easy option that involves doing absolutely squat?

Let’s see… What if…?

What if you threw a party and no one came?