My friend Beth K. Vogt wears joy and encouragement like a form-fitting silk dress. She embodies passion for Jesus, her family and her career. After reading her sophomore novel, Catch a Falling Star, I thanked God for her talent and praised Him for the way He’s going to be using Beth to minister to others through her words. Catch a Falling Star is a beautiful story that made me laugh, cry and stay up past my bedtime. Even when life doesn’t go the way we plan, God’s plans are always perfect.

Beth K. Vogt believes God’s best is often behind the doors marked “Never.” After being a nonfiction writer and editor who said she’d never write fiction, Beth’s second inspirational contemporary romance novel, Catch a Falling Star, released May 7, 2013 from Howard Books. Beth is also the Skills Coach for My Book Therapy (MBT), best-selling author Susan May Warren’s writing community. Connect with Beth at bethvogt.com.

~*~

I love fairy tales – the classic ones like Rapunzel and Sleeping Beauty, and the modern day ones like Rachel Hauck’s Once Upon a Prince and Sandra Bricker’s If the Shoe Fits.

In my just-released novel, Catch a Falling Star, the heroine grew up listening to her grandmother read fairy tales to her. Those romantic stories shaped her dreams for romance and happily-ever-after.

And yet, one of the reasons I write inspirational contemporary romance is because I believe there is more to romance than the fairy tales tell us. After all, fairy tales have magic … and fairy godmothers … and impossibly beautiful women who sing and talk to forest animals … and incredibly handsome men (usually princes) who fall in love at first sight and drop everything to rescue the fairest of fair maidens …

I don’t know about you, but on my romantic journey, no fairy godmother showed up to re-do my wardrobe. There was no magic wand waving … no musical soundtrack playing in the background and no talking animals. (I admit talking animals would have freaked me out.) And one other thing was missing: The story didn’t end at the “found my true love” kiss.

I fell in love with a real person who – guess what? – also fell in love with a real person. Translate “real person” as “imperfect.” We promised to love one another “for better and for worse,” never imagining how bad “worse” could get. Miscommunication? Not us. Disagreements about finances? Nah. In-law strife? Nope. A season in our marriage where the only thing holding us together was the covenant we made with God and with our children where we promised there would never be a divorce? Never.

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong

And wrong.

It was during the times our marriage struggled the worst that I was most thankful that I’m not in a fairy tale marriage. I live in the real world – but even more importantly, I believe in a real God who cares about my husband, my children, and me. I don’t have to wait around for a fairy godmother because God is with me all the time. I don’t have to wait on the wave of a magic wand because I can lean into prayer and the truth of God’s word. I don’t have to hide my imperfections because God offers me grace, not judgment.

As a young girl, I read fairy tales because they promised me something more. The funny thing is, I found the “more” I was looking for in my real-world romance. I stood in the “wide open space of God’s grace” – with all my imperfections, doubts and fears – and discovered unconditional love. Not magic. Acceptance. Not a fairy godmother. A heavenly father who says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Not a handsome prince. But an oh-so-handsome husband who loves me, day in and day out – happily ever after or not.

~*~

What does a girl do when life doesn’t go according to her plan? At thirty-six, Kendall Haynes has seen some of her dreams come true. She’s a family physician helping kids with severe allergies and asthma achieve more fulfilling lives—a childhood struggle she knows all too well. But are Kendall’s dreams of having it all—a career, a husband, children—nothing more than a childhood fantasy? God says He knows the plans He has for her—why can’t Kendall figure them out and be content with her life?

Griffin Walker prefers flying solo—both as an Air Force pilot and in his personal life. But a wrong choice and health problems pulled him out of the cockpit. His attempts to get out of “flying a desk” are complicated by his parents’ death—making Griffin the reluctant guardian of his sixteen-year-old brother, Ian. How did his life get so off course? Can he get his life back on track…or has there been a divine plan all along?

Catch a Falling Star reminds readers that romance isn’t just for twenty-somethings and that sometimes letting go of your “wish I may, wish I might” dreams is the only way to embrace everything God has waiting for you.

Your Turn: What was your favorite fairy tale as a child? How has your perception of fairy tales helped you define romance today? I’m giving away a copy of Beth’s Catch a Falling Star to one commenter (U.S. residents only). 

Please welcome my friend and fellow Bookie, Sherry Kyle! Her second novel, The Heart Stone, released April 1 from Abingdon Press. 

Sherry graduated from Biola University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Bible. She is the author of three books:The Christian Girl’s Guide to Style, a book for ‘tween’ girls about beauty, fashion, and character; Delivered with Love, contemporary Christian women’s fiction; and her latest contemporary release, The Heart Stone. 

Sherry and her husband live along the coast of central California. They have four children, three biological and one by adoption. To learn more about her, visit her at www.sherrykyle.com

~*~

I never thought I’d be the type of girl to steal a guy from someone, but that is exactly what I did. Not intentionally, of course.

One week into my freshman year of college, a cute blond surfer asked me out on a date.  I said “yes” before I really thought through what my answer would mean for me—and the girl across the hall, who had pointed him out all week as the guy she really, REALLY liked. Yes, I was in trouble!

What made the situation more awkward was that she was my R.A. (resident assistant) and had the power to turn all the girls on our floor against me.

The night before the date, I lay in bed contemplating my options. I could sneak out and hide the fact that I was spending time with her crush, which would be difficult at a relatively small Christian college, or I could come clean and tell her.

I knocked on her door close to midnight. When she opened it, the truth of what I was going to say hit me. I was a guy stealer. My stomach clenched. It smacked me harder when I saw the small picture frame on her desk with their pictures. UGH! This was going to be tough.

Surprisingly, she took the news well, even saying, “ You can go. He always did like blondes better.” She was a cute redhead. I think what helped her reaction was that I offered to back out of the date, and told her our friendship meant more to me than some guy I didn’t know. It was the truth.

That was September 1984. Doug and I have now been married close to twenty-five years. We were meant to be.

I’m glad my R.A. was so sweet about it, but there was another girl on our floor who didn’t take the news very well. But that’s another story…

 Your Turn: What is your romance story? Did you steal someone’s guy? 

~*~

Two women. Two journeys. A season that may change their lives forever. 

When the alcoholic father of Jessica MacAllister’s son reappears in their lives, Jessica takes Jacob to Santa Cruz to visit her uncle George for advice and refuge.

Following a year of grief, Evelyn Sweeney is finally ready to move on. As she ponders her new path in life, her mind drifts to her first love, George MacAllister.

When the lives of these two women cross, they discover that one heart-shaped ring binds their stories together. But will the results be a rekindled faith and new hope? Or will it lead them both back into the darkness they’ve fought for so long?

Hubby and I are no different. 

One of my weaknesses is staying on top of my record keeping on a monthly basis. Each April I proclaim I’m going to do better, and each year I succeed–marginally.

As we talked about different expenses over the weekend, Hubby and I were able to speak calmly and rationally about changes in our budget. We even teased about a major purchase I want badly. 

That wasn’t always the case in our marriage.

Almost 10 years ago, we started to accumulate a large credit card debt on separate cards, but neither really knew how much debt the other cards held until I wasn’t able to cover my debt from a side business I had.

Even though people joke about it, retail therapy can be as addicting as drugs and alcohol. I became an emotional shopper. Browsing through clearance racks and finding great deals filled me with a retail “high.” I told myself I could quit with one purchase. And I could pass up deals any time I wanted. I justified my purchases by saying I got such a great deal on them. Then I started hiding what I bought. Little by little, the purchases and monthly fees accumulated to where the credit card amounts due were higher than I could afford. 

I felt sick to my stomach when I realized my credit card debt had spiraled out of control. With a pounding heart and shaky legs, I went to Hubby and confessed what I had done. He was quite shocked, but he never freaked out on me. I was so afraid he’d lash out. Or worse–leave me. 

We talked and realized we needed outside help to fix this problem. 

Believe it or not, but that problem brought us closer together. 

We realized it wasn’t my problem or his problem, but OUR problem. I confessed about certain negative feelings and fears I had, but Hubby offered me love and support. I wasn’t the only guilty one either. He had used another card quite a bit too. 

We worked together, took steps to clear this debt and then celebrated when we made the final payment. Talk about a feeling of freedom! 

For the past few years, we’ve lived successfully without credit cards by maintaining a separate savings account. When our hot water heater broke, we were able to pay for a new one in cash. Just the other day, Hubby mentioned how nice it was not to rely on credit to pay for something we needed for the house.

Credit cards offer rewards for college tuition, Disney points, cash back, etc… Those perks are great if you’re maintaing a healthy respect for the card use. The key to using a credit card properly and still reaping the benefit of the rewards is to use them only when you can pay off the amount due each month before the due date. 

My friend uses her credit card for almost everything. When she buys something with her credit card, she deducts the amount from her checking account. That way she has the money to pay the balance due on her card each month without accumulating monthly fees and interest. 

Over the weekend, I handed Hubby a credit card application and said I wanted to apply for it for traveling purposes. We’re finding certain hotels ask for a credit card for incidentals during stays, but when you offer your debit/check card, they freeze your account or freeze a certain amount. Not all hotels do this, but some do. I reassured him the card wouldn’t be used for shopping trips, etc. I wasn’t slipping back into that old habit. If I can’t pay cash for it, then I don’t need it. 

Hubby is the rational one in our marriage. I rule with my heart. He completes me in such a fantastic way. He helps me see the reasoning behind certain financial choices we need to make for our budget. When expensive projects come up, we talk about them. Last summer we needed a new roof and new windows. The cost was high, so we discussed our options and made the right choice for us. 

When I want to go shopping with my friends, Hubby kisses me good-bye and tells me to have a great time. He doesn’t lecture me about responsible spending. He may joke and ask if I need adult supervision, but I assure him I will be fine. 

Each couple is going to have a different financial experience. The key to keep money from causing problems in your marriage is to communicate openly and honestly about your needs and expectations. Keeping secrets from your spouse splinters the trust in your relationship. Irresponsible spending damages relationships quickly, especially when talking about money becomes a shouting match and accusations fly out faster than you can catch them.

When you’re faced with financial challenges, consider these options:

• Pray and ask for God’s wisdom and discernment for direction.
• Ask for outside help through credible organizations that can help you restructure your budget to make timely payments to clear up your debt.
• If credit cards are an issue, cut them up.
• Learn to live within your financial means without relying on plastic.
• Celebrate small financial victories with one another.
• Forgive past mistakes.
• Make healthy financial choices together to strengthen your relationship for the long-term.

Your Turn: How do you feel talking money with loved ones? What suggestions can you offer others in helping them make wise financial choices?

Tweet this:

• Are credit cards causing problems in your #marriage? @lisajordan offers suggestions to help. http://ow.ly/k2Umj  

Being from out of town, I didn’t know many of the women in the group, so I had no idea who owned the unique quality she mentioned. 

Each one of us has unique qualities. In my training setting, my unique quality was I wrote Christian romance novels for Love Inspired. 

However, in this setting, my unique quality is the reverse–I’m also an early childhood educator. 

While considering a blog post for today, her question echoed through my head. In the middle of Sunday’s sermon, I pulled a notebook out of my purse and wrote, “What’s unique about your marriage?”

 Your marriage may seem routine or boring to you. But someone else may be able to zero in on your marriage’s uniqueness. 

The unique qualities of my marriage are:

• Hubby and I dated long distance for 18 months before getting marriage, communicating by letters, phone calls and occasional visits. 
• We eloped.
• We weathered a terrible storm in our marriage and not only survived, but grew closer together. 
• In October, we will celebrate 24 years of marriage–something that’s becoming less common.

Your Turn: What’s unique about your marriage? If you’re not married, what’s unique about your parents’ or a sibling’s or a friend’s marriage?

His position had been eliminated.

I’m a stay-at-home-work-at-home mom, but Hubby’s income was our primary financial resource, and he carried the insurance for our family. 

After the initial shock wore off, I remembered a conversation I had with God a few months before that. I had thanked Him for Hubby’s recent promotion, then asked Him to prevent Hubby from being affected by the layoff rumors.

From January 2009 to July 2012, Hubby had a couple of temporary jobs, but nothing permanent. God opened the door for him to return to school to get his degree in business. However, when he graduated, he struggled to find a job. He received interviews, even second interviews, but no job offers…until God opened that door last July. 

During those three years, I learned a few things about supporting a spouse:

• Pray for your spouse. Ask God to give you the words to encourage and the patience to endure the trials to come. Ask God to open doors on your spouse’s behalf. Ask God to give your spouse a sense of fulfillment and encouragement.
• Expect a variety of emotions. Hubby’s career counselor likened losing a job to going through divorce. Your spouse may experience negative emotions–sadness, frustration, depression, anxiety, feelings of failure–and it’s so hard to see him feel this way. Men, in particular, feel the need to be providers. When this is taken from them, they struggle and can feel like they’re failing their families.
• Speak his language. His love language, that is. Let him know through your positive actions and words that you’ve got his back–you’ll be by his side and you will work through this together. Speak truth to his strengths. Remind him of his positive traits. Encourage him to stay active in his other roles.
• Voice your expectations. If you’d like your spouse to take on more responsibilities around the house while he’s looking for a new job, be sure to work together so you both know what each other’s expectations are. Men and women have different ideas of clean and what needs to be done. Your hubby may not be bothered by the overflowing laundry basket or realize you’ve been out of milk for two days. Being clear in your expectations helps to eliminate frustration and resentment.
• Consider your finances. Review your finances as a couple and share ways you can cut back on unnecessary expenses. Be creative for date nights and family fun events that cost little or no money. 
• Resist the urge to “help” your spouse with his job search. While you may think you’re being helpful by sharing job opportunities from the classifieds or Monster.com, your spouse may feel pressured already. 

Your spouse’s loss of job can turn out to be a mixed blessing–more family time, less time spent commuting. Be sure to take time to communicate concerns. Be quick to listen and slow to lash out in anger or frustration. This is a difficult time for all of you, but it’s a season. God has a plan and a purpose for your lives. 

Your Turn: Has your spouse or another family member experienced a job loss? How did you support him or her?

If you’d like to write for Why Marriage Matters, be sure to read the details here: Why Marriage Matters Guidelines

Therefore encourage one another 

and build each other up, 

just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV

Quite a few years ago, I “vented” to my then sister-in-law (she and my brother-in-law have divorced since then) about something my husband had or hadn’t done. I said, “I don’t mean to complain, but…”

She replied, “Yes, you do, but you’re frustrated.”

Her response floored me.

I meant to complain? No, I wanted to vent. There’s a difference. Right?

No.

Venting equals complaining. By doing so, I was tearing down my husband. 

Quite honestly, I get quite annoyed by male bashing because I’m the only female in my house. By lumping all men together, I’m saying my husband and my two sons are part of that group of men who can’t do anything right. 

And that’s not the perception I want any of them to see from me.

I saw a quote on Pinterest stating, “Don’t talk bad about your husband to anyone. Ever.”

I have to confess and say I was convicted by that statement. 

Yes, I get frustrated, but it’s my choice how I deal with that frustration.

I want my husband to feel like the most important person in my life. I want him to know I have his back. I want to build him up so he’s the man God created him to be. 

Here are my simple tips for building up your husband:

• Pray daily. Pray for his spiritual walk. Pray for his parenting skills. Pray for his job. Pray for his health. Pray for his attitude. Pray for his devotion in your marriage.
• Speak truth. Tell him how much you love him every day. Let him know what a good father he is. Share something about him that you love. Every. Single. Day.
• Love always. Love is a choice. Love is a commandment from God. Love is essential to every marriage. Say “I love you” daily. Show how much you love him by doing something that pleases him, even if it’s something little like making his lunch or keeping his laundry washed and folded. 
• Honor him. You made a vow to honor him for the rest of your life. A promise. When the marriage gets tough, don’t be so quick to end the marriage. 
• Choose peace. Frustration happens because our insecurities surface or our expectations aren’t being met. If you find yourself becoming frustrated with your husband, consider why. If he didn’t take out the garbage like you asked, is it worth getting on the phone and griping to your best friend? Maybe he did forget. Instead of lashing out, let him know how you feel and what expectations you had in a way that strengthens your bond instead of biting his head off. 
• Model Godly behavior. If you have children, you are modeling behavior. They notice when Mommy and Daddy fight, when they show love and how to have a strong marriage. Model the kind of Godly behavior you want your son or daughter to share with their future spouses. Instead of calling Daddy an idiot, make sure your child knows about Daddy’s intelligence or kindness. If you’re in a spiritually mismatched marriage, your Godly behavior will be noticed by your husband.

Building up your husband takes purposeful thought and effort, especially if you’ve fallen into a negative pattern. If you’re struggling in your  marriage, take it to God in prayer. Every marriage is different and no couple is perfect, but with God’s help, you can have the kind of marriage you desire. Building up your husband daily will go a long way in creating a marriage that lasts a lifetime. 

If you would like to write a guest post about Why Marriage Matters, please email me via my contact page, and I’ll be in touch. For Why Marriage Matters guest post guidelines, click here: Why Marriage Matters guidelines. 

Your Turn: If you’re married, how do you build up your spouse? If you’re not married, how do you see others build up their spouse? Share examples. 

Tweet to share: Are you building up your husband? @lisajordan shares Why #Marriage Matters: Building Up Your #Husband http://ow.ly/j8WVN 

“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organization developed it.Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God.”  ~ Max Lucado

As a Christian woman and a wife, I believe in the sanctity of marriage as ordained by God—the official union between a man and a woman.

In today’s culture, many people consider marriage archaic. I’ve read many articles about couples in Hollywood getting engaged but refusing to get married until marriage is equal for everyone.

Holy matrimony—ordained by God—isn’t everyone’s choice. When God created marriage, he designed it as a union between a man and a woman.

As our world falls away from traditional values and embraces worldly behaviors, we need to encourage others to preserve the sanctity of marriage. 

Those closest to me know my core values. They know I embrace promises of hope and happily ever after. For me, happily ever after means being married to a heroic husband who honors, loves and cherishes me as God intended.

Since I express myself better through words, I’ve chosen to mark Mondays on my blog as Why Marriage Matters. My voice isn’t loud, but I can share my words with others.

And I invite you to share your words, as well.

Each week I will host guest bloggers sharing why marriage matters to them. I’d love to hear from men and women, married or single. If you and your spouse would like to co-write a post, I’d love to host your shared post. 

Please follow these guidelines to stay within the theme of why marriage matters: 

• Posts should be focused on some aspect of why marriage matters to you. You may speak of love, marriage, family or relationships, no matter if you’re male or female, married or single. 

• Please keep your posts to 400 words or less.

• Please conclude your post by asking an open-ended question to engage readers in conversation.

• If you’re able, reply to comments left on your post within the week of your scheduled date.

• Please include the following with your post:
  • A photo of you and your spouse, if you’re married. If you’re single, a photo I can use with your blog post.
  • Favorite scripture or quote that fits with the theme of your post.
  • Brief bio (around 75 words)
  • If you are a published writer, you’re welcome to share your current book cover & back cover copy for additional publicity.

• Please send your post and necessary info to me a week before your scheduled due date. 

If you would like to write a guest Why Marriage Matters post, please leave a comment with your email so I can contact you for scheduling, or you may email me at lisa at lisajordanbooks dot com and put Why Marriage Matters Guest Post in the subject line. 

Your Turn: Why does marriage matter to you?

(If you’re so inclined, please consider “Liking” my Facebook Author Page and subscribing to my newsletter.)

Tweet to share: Why does #marriage matter to you? @lisajordan offers a blogging opportunity for those who believe in holy matrimony http://ow.ly/izhK6

Rejection, though undeniably painful, does not have to hold us back from accomplishing what God wants us to do. 

~Jennifer Benson Shuldt

After entering one of my first writing contests, I was determined never to enter another. After all, my low scores attested to judges’ inabilities to recognize talent, right?

Uh huh…

Actually my own inflated view of my words and lack of growth as a writer contributed to those scores. 

Looking back, entering that contest gave me an initial taste of rejection in the publishing world. I could have given up at that point because, after all, why bother?

But I didn’t. I know I was supposed to be a writer because I could feel God’s calling in my life.

That contest entry motivated me to learn, to grow as a writer.

As a previous judge for the Frasier, and for other writing contests, I’ve been able to see how agents and editors can read just a couple of pages before they’re able to determine a writer’s level of ability. 

And I know the low scores I’ve given entrants have caused discouragement. I promise it was not my intent. 

As a contest judge, I’d like to offer three bits of wisdom:

• Judging is subjective. What I love, another judge may dislike. What I dislike may resonant with another judge. Reading is subjective. Trying to write a story that pleases everyone is impossible. Write the story of your heart. 
• Low scores encourage growth. Would you prefer to have a contest judge say your entry isn’t ready for publicatioin, or would you rather risk that one shot with your dream agent or editor? Feedback offers you an opportunity to improve your craft so when it’s time to submit to an agent or editor, then you will have a stronger chance to gain a publishing contract.
• Rejection shows your courage. You’re willing to put your work out there for others to read. This leap of faith doesn’t go unnoticed by editors and agents seeking wonderful stories. When you take steps to strengthen your skills, that tells them you’re willing to grow as a writer and improve your writing abilities. It shows you have a teachable spirit and you’re willing to invest in your career.

As you ponder writing contests this season, I recommend entering the Fraiser. My Book Therapy is an organization of integrity, and Susan May Warren has a heart for helping new writers find their voices and developing their talents. 

Entries for the 2013 MBT Frasier Contest for unpublished novelists will be accepted through Sunday, March 31, at 11:59 p.m. The contest is open to Voices members. The winner will receive a scholarship to a My Book Therapy coaching retreat ($500 value). Final round judges are award-winning author Susan May Warren; literary agent Steve Laube; and Shannon Marchese, senior fiction editor for WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group. For more information, FAQs and to enter, visit http://www.mybooktherapy.com/frasier-contest/.

Your Turn: Why do you enter writing contests? How much stock do you place in judges’ feedback? What value do contests hold for you?

 After our youngest son had learned to ride his bike, he earned the nickname, “Crash.”

One afternoon, he and Hubby had gone for a ride down the main drive in our neighborhood. Our son wiped out on a patch of gravel alongside the road, resulting in bloody gashes on his knee and elbow. 

Hubby helped him to his feet, dried his tears, encouraged him to ride home and tended to his wounds.

Christians can experience crashes in their spiritual journeys. When we take our eyes of Jesus and focus on the gravel patches that life puts in our paths, we are apt to spin out and crash. 

We land crumpled at the feet of Jesus in the most humblest of positions. We cry out as our hearts ache from bruises and bloody gashes. He offers His hand to lift us to our feet. He cradles us against His chest and dries our tears. He cleanses our wounds and renews our spirits. Then He returns us to the path He’s laid before us. 

We serve a God of second chances. No matter what past mistakes we’ve made, He is willing to create in us a pure heart just for the asking. He longs to restore the joy of our salvation. 

Your Turn: Are you feeling bloody and bruised by life’s crashes? Share a time when you’ve needed God to help you to your feet and tend to your wounds. 

He who He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth—the Lord God Almighty is his name. Amos 4:13 NIV

Sunday morning I awoke to the sound of the wind gusting and branches smacking our metal roof. I hate storms, particularly anything involving wind or lightning. When I was a child, a tree had fallen on our house. Even though I had spent the night with my grandparents, who lived down the road, that accident created a domino effect of events that changed my life forever. 

As the wind howled and prevented my return to Dreamland, I prayed and asked God to calm the storm. And if He wouldn’t do that, then would He please calm this child. 

For the next two hours, my mind drifted to my current WIP, the previous day’s activities and the week ahead. For the most part, I didn’t focus on the wind until it picked back up again, then I repeated my prayer. 

These gusts of wind are nothing compared to storms others have endured, but they caused anxiety and sleeplessness in me. For me, for that moment, the wind was troubling. God heard the whispers because the wind died down at times, and I managed not to dwell on it. 

Wind can be cool and refreshing on a hot summer’s day. Or it can be devastating and wreck havoc. Even the strongest tree can crack if the wind is strong enough. 

My friend Dee (Delores Topliff) wrote a great post on our group MBT Ponderers blog a couple of weeks ago called Lessons from Aesop, talking about how adversity allows us to lean on God. 

God stays constant, never bending or breaking. And no matter how small or heavy are the wind gusts in our lives, He hears every prayer, every cry of our heart. Sometimes we may think He can’t hear us, but not only has He heard, but He’s at work calming the storm…or the child. 

Your Turn: Does howling wind comfort you or keep you from sleeping? How to you handle adversity in the storm?