I've come to refer to these as character-building experiences and frankly, most days I can do without them.

Whether it's difficult coworkers, trouble-makers, and gossip-mongers; disagreeing with a boss' decision, picking up the slack for others, and being torn between supporting others vs. holding them accountable ; or incidents of harassment, discrimination, and bullying -  we all have own personal experiences where we were challenged to make the most of a difficult situation.

When you look back on your own experiences, and you will, know that you are doing so with the wisdom of experience and age. Don't judge. Look back with the grace and compassion for who you were in the moment before hindsight. 

What we do flows out of who we are. Being precedes doing. How we respond comes as a result of all the choices we have made throughout our lives. Our choices become our actions. Our actions become our habits. Our habits become our character. 

Here's to a quiet rest of the week ahead.

If it wasn't me evaluating how you chose to respond on a group email and coming up with a snarky response I'll never deliver or predicting the negative impacts of your personal motivations on your professional reputation I'll never share, I drank my Caribou Cinnamon Spice tea and opined how nice it would be if "they" were even half as competent as "us."

Me judging you with a smile was well-needed stress relief for this over-tired, under-nourished, detail-burdened girl. The end of year hustle, too few daylight hours, and the myriad of germs that accompany bitter cold winter weather have a way of taking the best of us down. 

Judging you was fun but it was also a signal to myself that it's time to cut myself a break and to rest and recover before things get real and take a turn for the worse.  So, in between taking down the holiday decorations and looking ahead to a new year, I am recharging my psyche by celebrating accomplishments and connecting with a friend I've been missing. A few nights of double digit sleep, a couple of hundred rounds down range, and time with the family always does wonders for me.

Judging a person doesn't define who they are, it defines who you are. Now, go out and do something you feel good about. Make it good. I'm watching you.

I received more advice than I would truly ever ask for: day care is good; day care is bad; parenting is the hardest thing you’ll ever do; and enjoy it now, they grow up so fast. It was all so cliché, until it wasn’t. In the blink of an eye we moved from blankets and Barbies to swimming and shopping. Today, we have bathroom counters and bedroom floors not seen in weeks, nests of blankets and pillows and socks and clothes around the house, and a zippy-little RAV 4 that is barely idle between trips to school, coffee shops, and to meet up with friends. I’ve walked into a store or looked up from my purse at a cashier counter all too often to realize the pleasantries are not directed at me. The upbeat girls and googly-eyed boys are looking right past the lady with the money to talk with my daughter. 

Step by step, my daughter is creating a life of her own. I know this because I get to see her in action and because Instagram tells me so. This past summer, she was enjoying a few weeks out-of-state with a friend and her family. I hadn't heard from her for a few days so I took solace in my social media feeds. I opened Instagram and there she was on a sun-and-sand-filled beach linking arms and hugs with new friends. She was relaxed and owning the moment. In that instant, my little girl was gone and in her place was a strong, beautiful, young lady with a sense of humor, captivating blue eyes, and a smile to knock your socks off.

Everything I've known about myself and my day-to-day responsibility as a parent took a sudden and unexpected turn for me. With a full heart, I realized my work here is done; I was able to guide her safely to this point and give her what she needed to move forward with confidence and grace. 

Day care was good for us and parenting requires tough choices between standing your ground and putting your fears and doubts aside to give ground. Time has flown by yet growing up is not an end. As we move on to more dynamic social dilemmas, problem-solving, ACT preparation, campus tours, and college admissions applications I have the honor of being there for my daughter in a way no Instagram photo can capture or anyone other than the kid and I can appreciate.  For the forseeable future, all others will continue to wait.

Old habits die hard. 

The building blocks were there. I've had the support of family, CrossFit coaches who challenged me to test my limits, and a cadre of runners who inspired me to train for a 10-miler.  When I ignored the signs, pushed through the pain and was injured about 2 years ago, my favorite personal trainer in the world guided me on the road to recovery. We barreled through feelings of inadequacy and challenges of age.

I made my way into the morning crew at the gym and the choreographed sequence of free weights, benches, and machines. No longer did I feel the need to try (in vain) to keep up with those half my age or to push myself beyond what my body was able to commit to that day. I learned to pay close attention to form, to push when able, and to rest when needed. I exercised safely, did not reinjure, and my strength returned. It was good - until it wasn't.

Late this past summer, my motivation waned. I was ready for a change. I needed a recharge. I missed the energy and accountability of a group. The challenge provided me with all that, and more. I am stronger in mind and body than I was 6 weeks ago.

Not all hard work leads to progress and I am committed to doing less of the work that takes a lot of effort but leads nowhere. I am committed to doing more of the difficult work that needs to be done to grow.

Like writing again after far too long.

It is on mine. Right out front, I have my running (I plan to run a half-marathon), my food choices (I've been Paleo for over a year now but have begun to sugar-stray), my skin (time to pay my dues for my younger years of sun worship) and the coaching I give, receive and accept.

On my mind today (but only because of a prompt) is what I'd do to make HR better. So, here it is.

How human resource professionals are viewed has a direct impact on their ability to impact change. And in many cases, HR pros are viewed as transaction managers, or worse, a necessary evil.  The stories about human resources go like this:

• HR is hard to work with.
• HR can't get the basics right.
• Include HR, why? What do they do anyway?

The stories are not going to change on their own.  Bob McDonald, then CEO, Proctor and Gamble said, "People are going to tell stories about you whether you want them to or not. Choose which ones they tell." 

I love this quote for a few reasons: first, it's true and second, it puts HR professionals and leaders across the globe in the driver's seat. Don't like the stories? Change them. Quit hiding behind technology, leading with the employee handbook and blaming the economy for recruitment and retention challenges. Stop talking (what you think sounds expert and dazzling is actually distancing) and start listening.

Start by getting your HR house in order - strengthen your HR infrastructure and your HR workforce. Align business decisions with organizational objectives  - focus on streamlining the hiring process, ensure employees have the necessary skills and abilities to do their jobs and develop targeted strategies to assist supervisors and managers with performance management. Share your success, take credit where credit is due and be nice to your friends.

Do this and I guarantee the conversations about HR will change and you will be sought out by others for your absolute awesomeness.

Changing the HR Story first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

As a wrap-up, each participant was asked to share a three minute success story.  Not quite Ignite style (wouldn't that have been fun) but engaging nonetheless.

Here's what I shared:

I jumped out of a perfectly good aircraft. It was an amazing moment falling through the air looking over to watch the airplane that brought me up there - fly away without me in it. Come back!  

I didn't really know how fast I was falling until I began to see the tops of the trees. At that point, I did what you may think would be the last thing you would do as you were falling to the  ground - I closed my eyes. I didn't close my eyes because I though it would magically suspend me in mid-air or stop the inevitable from happening.

I closed my eyes because I didn't want to over think my landing. I closed my eyes to let my body do what it was trained to do. And it did. Five points of contact later, I got up and walked off the drop zone.

My personal leadership challenge is to not to not over think this stuff, to get out of my head, get out of my own way and do what I do best. 

I've been in formal leadership roles since 1985-ish. Every day, I wake up and step into a leadership lab and even after doing this for so long, some of the best insights still come to me at times when I least expect it.

In an impromptu debrief of week one, we we were asked to find someone we hadn't spoken with yet and discuss something that happened since the last time we had met. I found Betty (a medical center director), or she found me, and she zeroed right in on an approach to a missed expectations issue I shared. Turns out, we were both women, in the military and the military communication style did not translate well to everyone in the workplace.

Who knew?! 

I now make it a point to let my staff and those I mentor know that they are not responsible for my communication skills but they are responsible for leaving a conversation with complete information. If they don't get what they need, they need to ask for it.

When others take this on, I see expectations being met and hear clarifying questions being asked. I see confidence, awareness, ownership and strength where it was not visible before.

And that's the leadership sweet spot for me. It's not a position, a title or a grade. It's not my name in lights. It's creating possibility where none existed before. 

This experience reminded me that as a leader, I am much bigger than any role I may fill. So, although I leave the program not knowing what's next for me (think 5 year plan, friends) I leave knowing that whatever my next step is, I got this.  

The post My Leadership Sweet Spot first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

I thought I knew more than everyone around me.

Thankfully, I was smart enough to know better.

Leaders wake up every day and step into a leadership learning lab yet far too many miss the opportunity to learn from others. My leadership training came in different modalities: on-the-job as an officer in the U.S. Army and in the form of classes, seminars, and certifications courses. By far, the most valuable leadership training came from my interactions with those I lead.

Do leaders lead while learning or learn while leading?

Read more at the Lessonly blog.

Unfortunately, they are.  

It's time to step out of the ring and start working together.

When human resources professionals live and breathe human resources everyday, they forget what it's like outside the bubble. It's easy for them to judge non-HR leaders harshly. "Don't."  Instead, help them help you. 

• Proactively anticipate needs, develop training resources, analyze data and ask leader what you can do for them.
• Serve as strategic advisers to leaders. Lead effectively, help leaders with workforce planning and creatively work within business constraints to improve how they do business.
• Give leaders a chance, you will be pleased with the results.  

When leaders stay as far away from the human resources bubble as they can, it's easy for some to abdicate their leadership responsibility and to judge human resources staff harshly. "Don't."  Instead, help them to help you.

• Proactively identify needs, ask for the HR training and resources you need.
• Listen to the options, advice and consequences. It is your responsibility to ensure your decisions are informed ones. Ask the tough questions and expect researched responses.
• Give HR a chance, you will be pleased with the results

Ensuring people come to work under the best conditions and are able to perform job they were hired to do is a joint venture between leadership and human resources. Respect goes  a long way to helping each other find ways to get the results the organization needs.

This is not personal. It's business and you each have a job to do.

If you are a leader or human resource professional uncomfortable or bothered by this, no worries, your discomfort or unease will be short-lived. Organizations staffed with leader and human resources staff unwilling or unable to do this will find ones who can.

Now go out there and make me proud.

Taking the Gloves Off: Leaders and HR first appeared on lisarosendahl.com.

After years of complaining about an overbite (think thumb under front teeth), I set out to correct it as an adult. After 2 years of braces and a little jaw surgery, the overbite was gone and braces came off. The orthodontist sent me out the door with a set of retainers and some direction, "Wear these every night. If you don't, your teeth will shift."

I wore the retainers religiously, at first. Once the novelty wore off they ended up in the back corner of a bathroom drawer never to be seen or heard from again. It took eight years but true to everything that is metal, my lower teeth shifted. The minor shift wasn't too concerning to me and I made a mental note to "get that looked at someday."

That someday came a few years later when one front tooth  jumped (yes, jumped) behind another while I was just sitting at my desk, minding my own business and not causing problems for anyone.

Two teeth can't fill the same space for long with out one pushing the other out (and causing me a little bit of pain) so here I am back in lower braces again.

What's a girl to do? Go for fun colored ortho bands, slap a little berry lipstick on and head out the door - after she requests a permanent retainer she will be unable to remove on her own  - ever.

The post, Kids, Mind Your Orthodontist: A Day in The Life Sunday, first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

How did we learn to do this?

When I think back to situations I was in, cues I missed and warning signals I pushed aside, I  can't believe how naive I was or how much I was willing to leave to chance.

I now have a daughter and I am not willing to leave anything about her safety to chance. With school, sports, sleep overs and the mall, she is out of my sight more than she is in.  She's young and fun and should be surrounded by curiosity, laughter, giggles and wonder.

She deserves to be safe.

She's also young and unaware that crazy comes in all shapes and sizes.

The National Crime Prevention Council shares some facts about teen victims of crimes:

• Each year more than 40 million Americans are victimized at home, at school, or on the street.
• For all major types of crimes, people aged 12 to 19 are the most frequent victims.
• Almost half of violent crimes are committed by a victim's acquaintance or relative.
• The younger a person is, at least down to the age of 16, the more likely he or she is to be a victim.

As adults, we know not to walk or jog early in the morning or late at night when the streets are deserted. If we think someone is following us, we switch directions or cross the street and move quickly toward an open store or restaurant or a lighted house. We park in well-lighted areas with good visibility and close to walkways, stores, and people.

As women, we've become hypervigilant. We've learned from experiences, and those of others.

As a mother I have to ensure my daughter's safety.  I can't be with her all the time so she must learn to do so on her own (and with a little help from her friends). When I saw this Women's Self Defense class focusing on recognizing and avoiding dangerous situations (and not subduing), I knew I needed to her sign-up.

I want to teach my daughter to be alert to her surroundings in a way that builds confidence and not fear.

I wish this wasn't the world we are living in today but the reality is we will all be safer when we can confidently recognize dangerous situations and respond immediately for ourselves and others.

Let's be careful out there.

This post, {Safety} Crazy Comes in Many Sizes, first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

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]]>{Safety} Crazy Comes in Many SizesSocial MediaLisa RosendahlTue, 24 Jun 2014 11:00:00 +0000http://lisarosendahl.com/blog/taking-community-for-granted50851a1be4b066390d167215:509da823e4b0bf523ef3452b:53903700e4b0c930e8bf86ebWe long for a place where everybody knows our name.  We seek community. While there continue to be discussions over what actually defines a community, for many, it is a sense of cohesiveness among a group of people.

Let's go with that.

Sometimes communities are organized like Women of HR or Tribewriters. Sometimes communities are organic. Bottom line - people join a community because the community offers something they want or need. Victorio Milian recently posted that community, "may simply come down to supporting and interacting positively with other individuals who share a vested interest. Your community helps you succeed, even when success isn't evident." 

He nailed it.

In a 2012 Forbes article, The 4 Pillars of Community Management, the author wrote that community managers are pivotal in getting people not only to your community, but actively involved in it; connecting with people; listening to feedback and evolving the community based on member needs. Good community managers build communities that last.

She nailed it.

Communities are in constant motion. It's not a question of if members will leave a community, it's a question of when. If you are establishing a community or currently managing one, here are a few points to remember:

• You don't own the people in your community.
• People have a choice. If they chose you, treat them well.
• Know your niche. You can't be everything to everybody.
• Members are looking for a reason to stay. Give them 10.

Don't take your community or its members for granted. Life happens and things change. When a member chooses to leave your community don't be dismissive. Or an ass.

Taking Community for Granted by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com.

This is all well and good except that a team is not an "it."

There is a lot we can talk about when it comes to teams. For today, let's take a small bite and talk about connection.

Teams will not perform at their best if the team members are disconnected from each other. Connection doesn't just happen so leaders must create opportunities for team members to interact positively with each other.

Think communication.

Create opportunities for relaxed and natural communication for your team:

• Have a 10 minute morning huddle that is short on business and high on interaction.
• Incorporate peer-to-peer recognition into daily huddles, team meetings or activities.
• Involve every member of the team in weekly updates and keep your agendas loose.

Think fun.

Create non-cheesy opportunities for your team to let their guard down and laugh.

• Have a weekly riddle with a small prize for the first to guess the right answer.
• Revise the break schedule so the team can take a break at the same time.
• Break the routine. Get out of the office, the building or prescribed roles.

Do the ideas above seem simplistic? Think again. Actually, don't think again. This is not difficult, don't try to make it so. You don't have to do this on your own. Actually, you can't do this on your own - you need people to make this work.

Take your all employee survey scores seriously, ask questions, listen to the responses and take action. Let your team do what it does best and it will thrive.

You can do this.

Building Team Connection by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

Whether we choose to have a day to recognize a mother, father, grandparent or any another influential relationship in a child's life, or not, children need adults in their lives who love and adore them - always.

Because it's Father's Day, let's talk about dads.

Dads are cool.

I remember reading early on in my pregnancy about the tremendous ability a father has to influence the lives of their daughters. As much as this mom wanted her daughter to be hers and hers alone, she can't deny that there is a special connection between a dad and his daughter.

Neither will ever fully understand what it's like to be the other but that doesn't stop them from connecting. Rather, it creates a wide open space for dads and daughters to create their own unique experiences.

I knew our daughter was going to be in good hands.

In between four-wheeler rides, tubing, sledding, fishing, canoe rides, maybe-not-so-appropriate movies, bad jokes, You-Tube animal videos, late morning sleep-ins, McDonald's meals and visits to the neighbors, this father provides his daughter with a calm steady presence, unconditional love, respect, encouragement and a voice of reason to my maybe-a-little-overprotective motherly emotion.

Raising a child is joyful, but not easy. This dad stepped up to the challenge. Our daughter is growing into a confident, independent, capable and strong teenager. She's kind, respectful and funny.

Above all, she loves her dad.

Happy Father's Day, Bill.

Four-Wheeler Bonds: A Day in the Life Sunday by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

Perhaps it was a human knot, an mandatory weekend outing or a few hours in the workplace "getting to know" your colleagues. I am always interested in what leaders subject employees to under the guise of teamwork.

I've never been a fan of forced team building.

As a leader, I want my people to know that I've got their back. I want to create a workplace where people choose to come to work. There will be bumps and bruises along the way but in this work place people know that if they stick with it and show up, they can be their best.

I stay away from over-exuberance and anything that is staged for the purposes of "see what I do for you."

I don't go for cheesy.

I go for building strong teams.

No man is an island and no leader can get the job done alone. Work gets done through people. Being forced to play a ridiculous game is not going to turn a struggling team around.

Step away from the idea of introducing "two truths and a lie" at your next team meeting and instead, observe your team in action. Assess how team members communicate and how they hold themselves accountable.

• Communication. Teams that perform well adopt communication strategies. Does your team come together to be sure the team is ready to move forward before an plan, action or decisions takes place? Does your team touch-base regularly? Do they meet to explore service, product or ways to improve? What is the level of emotion and hurt feelings in a typical team interaction?
• Accountability. Teams that perform well hold themselves, and others, accountable. Does your team raise the red flag when someones safety or the quality of service is at risk, an urgent decision needs to be made or to avoid a mistake is about to happen?  Do they establish agreements to ensure future success and team improvement? How often are issues not raised within the team later shared in hushed voices at the proverbial water cooler?                         National Center for Organizational Development

Now, assess yourself.

How do you communicate with your team and how are you helping or hindering communication? How do you hold yourself and your team members accountable for delivering results? Are you accurately assessing team member performance or do you have premature faith in their abilities?

In the end, leaders are judged on how well they make their organizations work. Teams that perform well deliver results. Effective teams dedicate time to understanding their work and know that improving the way they work is their work.

The best leaders create the work environment where this can happen. This is sustainable team building at it's finest.

Trust circle not required.

Team Building. Can You Stand It? by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

Believing that someone (other than yourself) will make it all better, fix everything and chase your problems away is foolish and disempowering. It is time for all the heroes to go home, as the poet William Stafford wrote. It's time for some intellectual stimulation.

Real people don't have lives that sell magazines. Turn the TV off, put your People magazine down, step away from the internet and go read a book.

I am not worshiping heroes (yeah!) but I am also not reading like I used to (boo!).

I'll be traveling in June for business and pleasure so I am seizing the opportunity to get more than a few books read. I asked what others were reading and here are some of the book suggestions I received:

• The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
• The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery
• The 100-Year-Old-Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson
• The Last Letter from Your Lover by JoJo Moyes
• The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh
• Picture of Dorian Gray by S.P. Shearon
• Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
• Zelda by Nancy Milford
• Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

What ever happened to the book mobile? Remember when the three R's were reading, writing and arithmetic and not reduce, reuse and recycle? Those were the days of my youth, but I digress.

Be particular about who you let into your life. Know that you have a voice and are surrounded by people just like you who want to be useful to others and solve their own problems.

Be strong, yourself.

Mask and cape not required.

I've been in the business long enough to know that there are two sides to every story. I am not connected enough to know what's happening behind the scenes (I want the dirt!) but from the front lines, both organizations look bad.

I am SPHR certified and have been since 2003. I obtained certification to challenge my knowledge, strengthen my skills and build HR credibility after separating from the military with a background in maintenance, supply and ammunition. I maintained my certification over the years because that's what good HR professionals do.

My certification expires in August 2016 and even before this debacle hit center stage, I was debating whether or not to renew my certification.

My decision is made. My experience speaks for itself.

There are dedicated and innovative human resources leaders at the local, state and regional levels within SHRM organization and I am inspired by their commitment to making a difference. SHRM as an organization is not inspiring, nor are their senior leaders.

That's a shame.

I will follow along with my favorite SHRM-connected friends as this drama unfolds because I love the snark, sass and perspective. I will not be pursuing a competency-based certification from SHRM or renewing my knowledge-based one from HRCI either.

Now is the chance for HR professionals to stop the credit chase, engage in the profession and gain experiences that speak volumes more than a few letters after their name ever could.

What am I going to hang on the wall where my Senior Professional in Human Resources certificate is now?

Obligatory SHRM Post by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com.

Go to sleep, peaceful sleep, May the soldier or sailor, God keep. On the land or the deep,
Safe in sleep.

Memorial Day Taps.

Memorial Day Tribute by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

Nonetheless, personality tests are part of what we do. I recently took the Myers-Briggs as part of a health care leadership development program.

The Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI) is designed to identify a person's personality type, strengths, and preferences and is one of the most widely used personality assessments in the world. The scaled preferences focus on four categories:

• Where you focus your attention: Extraversion - Intraversion
• The way you take in information: Sensing - Intuition
• The way you make decisions: Thinking - Feeling
• How you deal with the outer world: Judging - Perceiving

Now here's the necessary disclaimer: I am not certified to administer or interpret the MBTI. I am just a girl with an opinion, an observation and my own sets of scaled preference numbers. 

In the late 1990s my numbers were: 39-43-13-51.

As an ISTJ, these numbers pegged me as an introverted judgmental human resources professional {Oh, joy!} who preferred to focus on the here and now. If she couldn't see it, feel, it touch it, hear it, or taste it - it didn't exist for her.  She always stuck to the plan.

Today, these numbers still peg me as an ISTJ but one much closer to center: 25-2-7-1. Now, my preferences reflect a slight shift in internal focus (break out the party hats), more intuition and a new-found flexibility. "Spontaneous" may be a bit of a stretch but I do prefer to keep my options open.

You didn't see that coming.

Or did you?

People can develop behaviors, strategies and habits that are not consistent with their MBTI type. I did it myself.

Viva the people!

Numbers can't define a person.

In the space between the numbers, I see life. I see experience, ego and the wisdom of age. I see motherhood. I see relationship. I see desire. I see influence, leadership and a need to be seen. I see writing, speaking and uncomfortable experiences. I see deliberate intention and continuous learning.

You can't 9-box that.

{Personality Tests} Don't Give Me That "I" by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

I am going to share a story instead.

The kid asked for money for a pizza party and to pay-off a lost bet. We gave her six dollars. Three dollars for the pizza party, one dollar for the lost bet and two dollars back to the parents after the party. That was the plan, except nothing came back to the parents.

"Where's my two (just enough for a medium cinnamon spice tea from Caribou Coffee) dollars, kid?"

She didn't have it.

Turns out that three dollars went towards her pizza, and when she realized a friend did not have money for the party, the remaining three dollars went to her friend. I can't fault that, or the extra pair of sweat pants she brought into school for a friend who didn't have a pair for gym, or any of the countless other gestures she has made I am not aware of.

Kindness. Acceptance. Heart.

My tea can wait.

It's an amazing feeling to see this in your child. To a young teenager, it's "just being a good friend, Mom." Kids. She sees it as nothing. I know it's so much more.

I know because I was that girl.

Growing up, my mother worked at least two jobs to ensure my siblings and I had a place to come home to every day. There was food on the table and we had clothes on our backs. I knew we didn't have what others had but I don't know if I really knew at that age what was missing.

It's rather pitiful how much I can't recall time frames from my childhood. I direct all inquiries to my sister. I really don't remember a lot but I do remember Mary Jo. Mary Jo was everything I wasn't and she offered kindness and acceptance to this teenager when she needed it most. I don't remember if I ever even thanked her.

To my daughter, here's an extra stash of dollar bills, school supplies, weekend get-togethers and rides home. Use at will and continue to be the friend you are to others. They may not thank you now but they will be thankful for you later.

Kindness matters. Keep it up kiddo.

Random Acts of Kindness: A Day in the Life Sunday by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com

I remember walking up a narrow staircase to the second floor of the building I worked in as a young HR manager. The customer service manager was walking down and, because it the staircase was that narrow, we each shifted to our right. As we passed, he stopped, turned and said something to me. No, it wasn't "Suck it in, Rosendahl." It was something totally unexpected.

What do you think it was?

He said, "Thank you."  "For what?," I asked. "For everything you do for my staff. I don't expect that you hear that enough."  We chatted, I thanked him and continued on my way as the voice in my head began a familiar rant.

"Wow," I thought, "I don't hear it at all." It continued, "He's right! No one appreciates me or all the work my department does." "We're the only ones with spines in this place." "They're not my damn policies, enforce them yourself." There's more, "No one tells me anything. HR is always an after thought." "I get no respect."

Sound familiar?

It can be very easy to fall down that rabbit hole. Many human resource professionals do fall (rather easily) without looking first or thinking about the impact on themselves, their relationships with others and their ability to earn the oh-so-elusive respect they seek.

Many fall, but not all. There are those who RSVP, "No" to the pity party. They feel stronger, sit up straighter and discover a real strength of character and conviction within. They are not part of the problem, instead, they are the ones to shut that party down.

They are the ones who lead.

Which one are you?

Stop looking to the profession for respect. SHRM is not going to be able to help you with this. This one is all you and if you are struggling with respect, I am hear to tell you that you've set your expectations for yourself much too low.

You are too good to be limited by uncertainty or self-doubt. You are too good to be lessened by the criticisms of a profession. You are too good to be an after-thought or to hide in the shadows.

Leadership is not passive. Today we are going to talk about leaders (yes, that's you) and being brave.  Forget about respect for now. The bigger question is this: You are being called to lead. Will you heed the call or hide from it?

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to grow up and lead.

Leadership: Get Your HR Head out of the Rabbit Hole by Lisa Rosendahl first appeared on lisarosendahl.com