tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46799953623345539342011-11-27T18:12:05.116-06:00In the future everything will be listed.Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-24437786446231304412010-03-29T22:43:00.017-05:002010-03-30T00:18:19.778-05:002010-03-30T00:18:19.778-05:00

Clearly American Idol is more about finding a commercially viable singer who can be paired with a proven producer than it is about finding a singular talent that will influence artists for years to come. However it's interesting to note that some of the best music artists of our generation would have been laughed off the stage early in the competition.Here are ten we thought of (complete with

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com1http://listacular.blogspot.com/2010/03/10-music-legends-who-wouldnt-have-made.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-36843124338064873432009-04-02T15:48:00.003-05:002009-04-02T15:55:19.111-05:002009-04-02T15:55:19.111-05:00

Profound indolenceConsumed by the train wreck that is Britney SpearsLooking for something in the garageFinishing our doctorate in Applied Molecular GastronomyInadvertently started writing for Perez Hilton

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2009/04/5-reasons-we-havent-been-posting-on.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-33380049751137271152009-01-16T12:28:00.003-06:002009-01-16T12:38:58.943-06:002009-01-16T12:38:58.943-06:00

Call your broker before your last bet telling him to "Buy, buy, buy!"Remove your pants to display your erection.Keep repeating, "I have a really good hand."Using another deck of cards you have in your pocket, put together a royal flush and flash it to your opponents.Say, "I don't think you want to do that" after anybody else raises.Drool.Eat the creme from the middle of an Oreo cookie.Ask your

Moist Rubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11761155132969976525noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2009/01/ill-advised-poker-bluffing-techniques.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-69413578411224376912009-01-04T13:42:00.006-06:002009-01-04T17:27:24.513-06:002009-01-04T17:27:24.513-06:00

GoshPope Tampon the MagnificentJermajestyCop KillerViscomte Guillaume Renard Saucisson de BeaumarchezPicklesDick CockTower, King of the Rodeo18 Wheels of Taffy Love

Warpighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05761736013868936865noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2009/01/8-cb-handles-that-probably-wont-be.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-67506062320285416942008-12-29T12:30:00.002-06:002008-12-29T12:37:20.048-06:002008-12-29T12:37:20.048-06:00

Spanks HugworthyScaly McUndershirtsWinky O'SweatsD.D. Tinkle GrabbersTrembles the HoboPasty ShinglesUncle Booger FunMr. Sticky PocketsCaptain Shaky FingersStinky Shorts McGee

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/12/top-ten-rejected-clown-names.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-34655675933520859052008-12-28T15:09:00.005-06:002008-12-28T15:24:54.037-06:002008-12-28T15:24:54.037-06:00

I was planning to write a little snarky paragraph about each of these actresses, but after writing a few of them I realized they were all going to sound exactly the same. These women all get a lot of work, get paid well, and pretty much play exactly the same character in all their movies. Don't expect range, nuance, or depth. These women can single-handedly make a good movie average and an

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/12/our-10-worst-actresses.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-46721630361893761932008-12-23T12:24:00.004-06:002008-12-23T12:49:04.754-06:002008-12-23T12:49:04.754-06:00

To protest the lack of support in Congress for a Santa's Workshop bailout.We couldn't find a card that said "this makes up for the fact that we see you at barbecues every two years now because at some point we realized you just make us uncomfortable."Our fantasy football team sucked and we spent our Christmas budget on late season waiver moves.We can't condone a holiday that compels an overweight

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/12/7-reasons-were-not-sending-christmas.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-70467371075474082152008-12-08T18:01:00.008-06:002008-12-12T11:34:45.801-06:002008-12-12T11:34:45.801-06:00

Show both your jealousy and ingenuity this Christmas!Make macaroni sculpture of their lifelong idol being eaten by jackals.Two words: Homemade porn.Create and lovingly decorate an animated flip book of your ass using your office copy machine.Make them a recording of yourself singing both parts of "Don't Go Breaking My Heart."Name a star after them using their least preferred nickname (and to the

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/12/6-unique-christmas-ideas-for-jerk-who.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-50556462658821538822008-12-06T07:04:00.005-06:002008-12-06T12:56:51.207-06:002008-12-06T12:56:51.207-06:00

In the current economic environment, we simply MUST find more uses for barbecue sauce if we hope to be successful. Here are the best, U.S. Government-vetted ideas, along with some marketing recommendations.Toothpaste flavoring ("Crest Smoky")Uncle God's Body of Christ Eucharistic Country-Style Dippin' SauceJasper's Hillbilly Anal Lube -- Now with more sting!"Hickory Nightmare" coffee

Warpighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05761736013868936865noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/12/barbecue-sauce-economic-stimulus.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-71988810023397656942008-11-22T00:25:00.004-06:002008-11-22T00:33:00.188-06:002008-11-22T00:33:00.188-06:00

Well, the usual reason - to read.To muss up my hair in a dashing way.Gotta keep tryin' on those leopard skin leotards.Get the plunger, Aunt Blanche just went in there.The ceramic floor in there is just so much cooler on my skin than the rest of the house on hot summer days.Jam sessions on my triangle.To find out where the poo goes.

Moist Rubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11761155132969976525noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/11/7-reasons-i-go-to-bathroom.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-75424089604977980532008-11-18T17:43:00.004-06:002008-11-18T17:49:12.999-06:002008-11-18T17:49:12.999-06:00

We're tired of phrases like "at the end of the day" and "in the pipeline." It's time we came up with some new awful business cliches that can get overused by every idiot with a PowerPoint deck and a Blackberry. The phrases below don't mean anything yet. But just you wait..."on the prison toilet"Looks like Johnson is on the prison toilet again."looking for rhubarb"I think we're ahead but might we

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/11/8-phrases-that-should-become-business.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-88293969340549795152008-11-14T09:36:00.006-06:002008-11-14T09:44:26.882-06:002008-11-14T09:44:26.882-06:00

Sheep de-woolerOil well drill bitIndustrial strength laxativeGolf cleat cleanerScience fair sea urchin display modelMurder weapon in the game of ClueRolodexFuneral wreathWhoopy cushion

Moist Rubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11761155132969976525noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/11/9-other-uses-for-bloomin-onion.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-24282015903037685332008-11-12T14:40:00.006-06:002008-11-12T20:49:57.171-06:002008-11-12T20:49:57.171-06:00

Riding that coin operated horse in front of the grocery store without pants onWashing my jeans with bargain detergent from the SupermercadoStress about keeping my job in this economy especially since I rarely show up on time and spend more time on Twitter than actually workingSweaty aliensThis new anti-cellulite cream I got in ThailandOne of my wife's "massage therapists" did seem to be

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/11/7-possible-explanations-for-this-rash.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-21672941199676571682008-11-07T13:45:00.002-06:002008-11-07T19:49:05.007-06:002008-11-07T19:49:05.007-06:00

The beauty of these excuses is that you never actually have to say you're not coming. However the host will be so thrilled you didn't show up you'll be golden.Explain that you've developed a mysterious unpleasant odor that may turn off other guests.Say you're bringing your new favorite cabbage and anchovy dish and you just can't be talked out of it.Ask where the heroin room is going to be because

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/11/5-original-excuses-to-get-out-of-social.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-77886817333397584292008-10-31T21:27:00.005-05:002008-10-31T21:40:26.633-05:002008-10-31T21:40:26.633-05:00

Ever since Gladiator, he feels he's been type-cast as an incestuous weirdo.Doesn't want that butcher apprenticeship to go to waste.Bowling league scheduling conflict.The tights were starting to chafe.Thinks he's REALLY Johnny Cash.Latent cloud of despondency from being in an M. Night Shyamalan movie.Tired of acting like an idiot.Feels that the hot women of Wal-Mart are afraid to approach him

Moist Rubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11761155132969976525noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/other-reasons-why-joaquin-phoenix-is.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-8593647476464150922008-10-29T06:45:00.009-05:002008-10-29T11:46:24.910-05:002008-10-29T11:46:24.910-05:00

Baby with colicAluminum cans in a blenderThe shrieks of eaglesAmorous catOld man sneezingDomestic disputeSpoon in the disposalTin rake on a drivewayDog fightHillbilly gun fightLawnmower in a gravel pitDrunken sailor argumentGrocery store announcement medleyPeople eating lobsterMulti-car pile upBotched dental procedure

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/15-worst-settings-for-sound-soother.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-30399983530624590782008-10-20T13:37:00.005-05:002008-10-20T13:47:56.316-05:002008-10-20T13:47:56.316-05:00

Cheap Ass Wigs and Trucker Belches Damn Straight!Blackouts and Downward Spirals World Tour 2009Media Whores Across America 2009White Trash and Muffin Tops LiveDoughnuts and Rug Burns 2009More ideas at GeneratorLand.com

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/top-5-ideas-for-naming-britney-spears.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-83332804101903260162008-10-15T14:02:00.000-05:002008-10-15T16:24:52.605-05:002008-10-15T16:24:52.605-05:00

Guy Gets Girl, Guy loses girl, Guy gets girl back in the final scene.Example: Failure to LaunchDisaster happens, motley crew is assembled, motley crew saves the day.Example: ArmageddonGuy loves girl who is just a friend, girl dates jerk, guy rescues girl and they fall in love.Example: Picture PerfectNo one believes scientist that end of world is imminent, scientist saves world.Example: The Day

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com2http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/10-worst-movie-cliches.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-77851744562759863602008-10-12T16:01:00.003-05:002008-10-12T16:08:53.431-05:002008-10-12T16:08:53.431-05:00

Bunion scorchingBrussel sprout stampedeWhisking gougesRelish tray grease fireMellon baller lobotomyTable leaf decapitationMaggot infestation from spontaneous generation experimentsLemon zest exhilaration blistersSalt shaking elbow dislocationCarcass entanglementJell-o carving lacerationsGravy drowningSpicing to taste obsessive-compulsive disorder

Moist Rubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11761155132969976525noreply@blogger.com1http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/13-least-common-kitchen-accidents.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-12059378484268183562008-10-03T17:19:00.006-05:002008-10-07T16:24:16.767-05:002008-10-07T16:24:16.767-05:00

What are the worst American beers you've ever tasted? Here's our list. We encourage comments because God knows there's a lot of bad beer out there.Olde English 800Black LabelHammsBusch LightMeister BrauMilwaukee's BestPabst Blue RibbonBlatz GeneseeStroh's

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com3http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/10-worst-american-beers.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-34312863835159854222008-10-02T10:11:00.004-05:002008-10-05T22:36:43.873-05:002008-10-05T22:36:43.873-05:00

Shots of tequilaMushrooms from the lawnGrocery store couponsFrequent Flyer milesSmall bundles of chivesNicoretteI.O.U.'s for "Help with your homework"LunchmeatA handful of saltA hardy handshake

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com1http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/10/10-bad-replacements-for-trick-or-treat.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-13995284746173828642008-09-20T15:39:00.003-05:002008-09-22T20:45:39.728-05:002008-09-22T20:45:39.728-05:00

I've been finding scorpions in my suit pockets and piano wire in my ties.She claims I'd get a better press on my shirts if I wore them during the process.She's been leaving messages on my voice mail to come pick up my clothes in the alley behind her shop.Her new assistant, Raoul, is six-foot eight, wears an eye patch, and just moved into the apartment next to mine.

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/09/4-reasons-i-think-my-dry-cleaner-is.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-75569404435310216012008-09-14T15:00:00.013-05:002008-09-22T20:54:21.117-05:002008-09-22T20:54:21.117-05:00

She shows up at parties uninvited and immediately begins loudly proclaiming her obvious fashion and sexual superiority to all the other guests.She rarely washes food stains off of her garments.She is mentally unbalanced and entertains friends with her frequent manic breakdowns.She tries to improve her station by speaking in a comical attempt at a cultured British accent that sounds more like a

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/09/7-possibilities-for-what-girl-in.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-81527368949673656782008-09-12T23:11:00.004-05:002008-09-12T23:15:58.719-05:002008-09-12T23:15:58.719-05:00

(Courtesy of the "Willy Name Generator")The Main ChurroThe Stocky PerchDr. Slippery DoodleThe Mushroom SalamanderProfessor Skin TrumpetThe Saluting BananaFrisky RocketThe Spring-Loaded BurritoThe Pink DartThe Hanging CyclopsThe Pocket OrcaThe Purple CarrotThe Trusty Thick WhistleThe Stocky BishopThe Hanging SniperThe Pork FerretOfficer Buster PumpThe Stocky PopsicleThe Heroic HogDr. Nasty

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com0http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/09/26-new-names-for-your-ding-ling.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4679995362334553934.post-78832818235644394092008-09-12T21:29:00.025-05:002008-09-12T22:32:31.812-05:002008-09-12T22:32:31.812-05:00

.nobrtable br { display: none }1John Quincy Adams: He's angry, he's bird-like, he's the least attractive president.2Abraham Lincoln: He may have an honest face, but it's also a trainwreck.3John Adams: He looked less like a president and more like a frightened, chubby finch.4George Washington: Our founding father looked like a dowdy old woman.5Martin Van Buren: It's all in the hair, baby.6James

Technogeekboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01239891680774063800noreply@blogger.com1http://listacular.blogspot.com/2008/09/top-ten-least-attractive-presidents.html