It’s been nearly 3 years since I last published a blog post — the longest I’ve been away since 2009 — and goodness have I missed this space. But every time I’ve contemplated coming back to it, I’ve suffered a bit of an identity crisis. Music therapy and songwriting are no longer at the center of my professional world. SO MUCH has changed since I last blogged here. My life, and the world as a whole, is different, but what hasn’t changed is my desire to share through words.

So I started a Substack. I wanted to have the freedom to write about anything and everything, beginning with my recent journey to becoming a mental health counselor. You might already be subscribed, but if not, I would love for you to join me there! Here’s an excerpt from my inaugural post, the rest of which is available (completely free) right here.

Grad school, the first time around, was a means to an end. I only cared about one single thing: getting my masters degree in music therapy so that I could start my “real life”. I was freshly 21 years old and already felt like I was behind the curve (even though I had graduated from college a year and a half early and was much younger than most of my new cohort). While I’m tossing out clichés, I might as well add that “youth is wasted on the young”.

Almost 3 years later, I was a board-certified music therapist with my first grown-up job and ready to leave the classroom behind forever. My mom started working on her doctoral degree shortly after, at the tail end of her 40s, and I simply could not fathom the thought of going back to school. Never in a million years. I was more than happy to proofread her papers and listen to her talk about her research, all the while thinking how happy I was that school was a thing of my past.

I got married. Bought a house. Started businesses. Had children. Traveled to cool places. Life was good, to say the least. From time to time, I wondered what else might be out there for me, but I was comfortable…and why fix what isn’t broken? Then, in March of 2020, the WORLD broke.

The pandemic changed a lot of things for a lot of people, and I was no exception. After about a year of weathering the storm, I started thinking the unthinkable: maybe I should go back to school. The idea of becoming a mental health counselor had floated into my brain at some point, and I couldn’t shake it.

So after a quick consultation with my mom (an experienced midlife student and now full-time professor) and my husband, I applied to the masters program in human development counseling at the University of Illinois Springfield and was admitted in the fall of 2021.

To be continued…

The older I get, the faster the years go…so it makes sense that 2022 flew by in a blink. In comparison with previous years, this was a really, really good one, though it was not without its challenges. My word for the year was PERSEVERE, which I chose with the intention to “just keep going” no matter what curveballs came my way. As has been my practice for the past several years, I didn’t set any big, lofty goals; rather, I wanted to focus on living my word without any extra stress (because my regular daily life brings more than enough of that!).

And persevere I (we) did. In February, my mother-in-law was in a near-fatal car accident, and spent almost two months in the hospital. This was a scary and stressful time for our whole family, but especially my husband, who had to deal with many logistics on top of worrying about his mom’s recovery. Thankfully, she did make a full recovery, and we were all able to celebrate together with a family vacation on Grand Cayman Island.

This past fall, I persevered through an incredibly challenging semester of graduate school. Over the summer, I changed my concentration from clinical mental health counseling to marriage, couples and family counseling, which necessitated taking an extra course. So I tackled 4 total courses (3 of which were very heavy on reading and assignments) in addition to a new graduate assistantship—on top of running my businesses and being a mom—and came out of the semester with As across the board. I am pretty darn proud of that achievement.

In addition to our Cayman Island vacation, we traveled more than we have in a long time: Disney World, Newport Beach, Chicago, Marco Island, Aruba, West Palm Beach, and many, many soccer tournaments all over Illinois and Missouri. We persevered through some crazy travel snafus and lots of homework on airplanes and in hotel rooms.

Travel is really important to my family, and we already have several trips planned for 2023. In fact, we are kicking off the year with a trek to Costa Rica in celebration of my husband’s 40th birthday. Our travel plans, in addition to my year ahead of clinical fieldwork as a counselor, inspired my word for the year: VENTURESOME.

I never considered myself to be a particularly bold, risk-taking person (despite my decision to leave a comfortable full-time job with cushy benefits in order to pursue self-employment at age 27) until 2021, when I took the plunge into a (second) graduate program to become a counselor. That took guts, but I know that I will need even more courage, confidence and tenacity as I enter this new field as a practitioner in 2023. I’ll start my practicum in January, and then begin a year-long internship in the summer.

2023 is also the year I enter a new decade: I turn 40 (?!?!?!) in June. I want to be venturesome, rather than reluctant, as I leave my 30s behind. There is so much to be excited about in the year ahead, and I don’t want to waste one minute feeling some type of way about my age.

This is my 8th time sharing my “Word of the Year” with you (take a trip down memory lane to 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, and 2016), and it has become one of my very favorite traditions. Do you have a word for 2023? I would love to hear it, or whatever plans/goals/intentions you have for the next twelve months. In the meantime, I wish you a very happy New Year!!!

For the last few years, I’ve viewed Facebook as a necessary evil. It’s an easy way to update my friends and family and vice versa. I belong to a number of personal and professional groups, including a fitness accountability group that I post in daily. I have pages for my business, and rely on other pages for info about my kids’ extracurricular activities.

But over the last few months, scrolling my Facebook feed has become an increasingly negative experience. I’m not even talking about political posts and arguments in the comment sections. What I mean is that consuming bit and pieces of other peoples’ lives has led me to question my own career, social life, accomplishments…everything. I found myself constantly living in comparison mode, and the worse it got, the more addicted to scrolling I became.

This came to a head during the first couple weeks of the year, when I had more than my usual amount of free time since my spring semester of grad school hadn’t yet begin. After a particularly upsetting scroll session, I googled the phrase: “how to unfollow everything on Facebook”. Lo and behold, I was presented with an extension, aptly named Unfollow Everything on Facebook, that I could install to my Google Chrome browser.

I did so immediately, and watched in amazement as this tool methodically unfollowed every friend, page, and group to which I am connected on Facebook. Now, here’s the key: it is NOT the same as unfriending people or removing myself from groups; I’m still connected to all of those and can navigate to any profile, group or page at any time. Most importantly, this tool completely eliminates the Facebook timeline, so there is literally nothing to scroll.

Even more than a month after the great unfollow, I still find myself opening the Facebook app without even thinking, only to find a blank feed. I do still receive notifications when I am tagged, birthday reminders, memories (love those), and Messenger pings, but I no longer fall into the same rabbit hole/mental health spiral/time suck that I experienced for so long. And that is a very good thing, since I am currently studying to become a clinical mental health counselor.

I have told SO many people about this piece of technology, including my own therapist (who wrote down the name of the extension so she could check it out for herself). The results have truly been life-changing. I’ve never felt more confident, emotionally healthy, and frankly, unburdened, in my adult life. To be clear, I still have a Twitter and Instagram feed, but because they are not made up mostly of people I know personally, they don’t cause the same triggers as Facebook did. Honestly, I have decreased my scrolling across the board, which is good since my plate is once again very full with the semester in full swing.

I’m still human, and there are of course times I turn to my phone to kill a few minutes while waiting for my kids at pickup or before I go to bed at night. But my go-to apps have now become Kindle (I’m reading so much more!) and the New York Times crossword. Maybe this makes me an old lady, but if so, I’m an old lady with significantly improved self-esteem. I’ll take it.

Back in August, my friend told me that she was going back to school for her PhD in speech-language pathology. I have a lot in common with this friend: we both have two kids (our boys play competitive travel soccer together), busy careers, and full social lives.

So when she shared this news with me, the first words out of my mouth were, “Oh wow, I could never do that.”

I’ve been saying that for years. I went straight to graduate school after finishing undergrad, so the only life I knew was student life. That served me well, and helped me stay focused as I earned my master’s degree in music therapy. My mom went back to school for her doctorate shortly after turning 50, and I was just in awe of her ability to do so. I couldn’t imagine the rigorous schedule and responsibilities of being a student ON TOP OF regular life.

After that conversation with my friend, though, I rethought my words. Why couldn’t I do it? School was my thing; the only B I ever got — like, literally ever — was in a dance class my freshman year of college, and I’m still not over it. (Kidding, kind of.) I love to learn, and I had been feeling the itch for professional growth over the last year or so.

A few days later, I found myself googling “counseling programs” and taking copious notes. Wait, what? Did I want to become a counselor? Apparently, yes I did.

Why Counseling?

Why counseling? I’m already a “therapist”, though I use music as my modality. I’ve mostly worked with children who have disabilities and the early childhood population, so the goals I’ve addressed have been related to communication, academic skills, activities of daily living, etc. It was actually my 6-year-old daughter who helped open my eyes to psychotherapy for children, and had me curious about exploring it as a career path.

At the beginning of the summer, her pediatrician recommended play therapy to help with her shyness and anxiety. She was nervous at first, but told me after the first session that she was brave enough to attend by herself while I stayed in the waiting room. Her progress was noticeable, and though she didn’t share too much of what went on in her sessions, I would get nuggets here and there of what she was learning in her play therapy sessions.

I knew I wasn’t the only parent of a kid suffering from anxiety, and I couldn’t help but think about just how many children would benefit from counseling as the pandemic stretched on and most aspects of life were still greatly altered. The impact of COVID-19 on our mental health has been…significant, especially for children (like my daughter) without fully developed coping skills.

A New(ish) Path

I will be the first to admit that my counseling skills are not incredibly strong. It wasn’t a big area of focus during my music therapy graduate program, nor has it been a muscle I’ve exercised regularly during my 14 years of clinical practice. I was a bit lost when it came to helping my daughter, and I wanted to be better prepared not just for her, but for my music therapy clients.

So I acted on my impulse to pursue a degree in clinical mental health counseling. I reached out to a couple music therapists I know that have already gone down that path, and their insight helped to solidify my decision. My mom is on the faculty at University of Illinois at Springfield (which is local to me), and she put me in touch with the director of the human development counseling program there. Just five days before the current fall semester started, I applied, was admitted, and registered for classes as a full-time graduate student.

We’ve just hit the midpoint of the semester, and I am up to my eyeballs in reading and research papers. I have another 3 semesters of coursework after this, followed by a year of internship before I am qualified to take my licensing exams and become a licensed professional counselor (LPC). I will need another two years of postgraduate supervised clinical training after that in order to become a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC), which will allow me to work in private practice and bill insurance for services.

Ultimately, I want to continue working in private practice as both a music therapist and counselor, specializing in children and adolescents with anxiety disorders. It feels like a long road to get to that point, but if life has taught me anything, it’s that the time flies by — and the older you get, the faster it goes.

Making It All Work

In addition to taking a full course load of in-person classes (9 credit hours per semester), I also took on a new telehealth music therapy contract the same week I started school. So I am currently splitting my time between my private practice Music Therapy Connections, creating resources for Listen & Learn Music, weekly telehealth sessions with my new clients, and of course, completing all of my schoolwork.

That sounds like a lot, and it is, but I’ve always thrived the most when I have a very full plate. Did I mention that my family has traveled almost every weekend so far this semester for my kids’ (yes, plural) soccer teams? But having such a loaded schedule forces me to assign a time for everything. I don’t have room for procrastination, so I have trained myself to just do the things when they are scheduled to be done.

It helps that I love everything I do, and everything I’m doing is interrelated in one way or another. It’s amazing how much I’ve already been able to apply what I’ve learned in my counseling program to the work I do as a music therapist.

It also helps that I’ve given myself permission NOT to always be an overachiever, especially in my schoolwork. I’m approaching my studies in a much more relaxed manner than I ever did before, which has quelled my usual perfectionist anxiety and allowed me to really be present in my classes.

Don’t get me wrong: this adventure isn’t without its challenges. My daughter is still dealing with some anxiety, especially when it comes to being separated from me, so the extra time apart has been hard on her. Seeing her upset when I can’t pick her up from school never gets easier.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being selfish by devoting all this time to my education instead of my kids; in those moments, I have to keep reminding myself of all the changes I made to my career over the last few years so that I was able to spend the majority of my time with them.

I’m incredibly lucky to have a very supportive husband who was thrilled about my decision to pursue this new path. He has picked up the slack as needed, and we are working as a team to make sure all of our personal, professional, educational, and family bases are covered.

This journey is still very new, and I know it will ebb and flow over the coming years. I’m definitely not the first music therapist to pursue a counseling degree, and I’ve found the Cross-Trained Music Therapists group on Facebook to be a wonderful resource. That said, I welcome any and all words of wisdom related to going back to school many years later, becoming a counselor, or entering a new field in general. Thank you as always for reading, and for your support!

Every day of this summer so far, I’ve woken up with grand plans to update the blog, send out an email newsletter, or accomplish some other needle-moving task related to Listen & Learn Music. And every day, my grand plans have been derailed —- either by more pressing work-related duties or by my children, for whom I am the primary caretaker during the summer months.

But today is the day I finally get to cross at least one item off that list! Here’s a quick roundup of new songs you can add to your summer repertoire (bonus: they are quick to learn and fun to sing).

Summer Drummin’

Is there any better way to celebrate summer than by drumming? I don’t think so! In “Summer Drummin’” we will drum at the pool, in the shade, and in the sun. Show off all your drumming skills while we celebrate this sizzling season!

“Summer Drummin’” provides opportunities to address these objectives:

• Improve motor skills
• Increase seasonal awareness
• Increase ability to follow directions
• Improve object identification (see adaptations)
• Promote emotional expression (see adaptations)

Consider asking children what they like to do during the summer, and incorporate their answers into the song.

Did you know that this Saturday, February 27 is National Polar Bear Day?! I didn’t either, until I saw it posted on Instagram, including a mention of my original “Polar Bear” song. Of course, I couldn’t miss this opportunity to celebrate these beloved creatures AND share one of the most popular songs in my entire collection.

So in honor of National Polar Bear Day, grab the mp3, instrumental track, facilitation guide, lyrics and chords for “Polar Bear” right here, completely free. If your students and clients are anything like mine, you’ll be getting requests for this song all year ’round!

Feel free to send this link to any educators, therapists, parents, or anyone else you know who utilizes music to help children learn and grow. I hope you have as much fun with this song as I always do!

Okay, so I have a confession to make: the pandemic has turned me into a bit of an online shopaholic. Luckily for my bank account, my purchases are usually under $35 (save for the occasional splurges), and all directly benefit my well-being in one way or another.

For example, I’m spending pretty much ALL of my time at home right now, and that has empowered me to make my home as comfortable, beautiful, and optimized as possible. A good majority of my shopping has been focused on that goal.

Another significant portion of my purchases have been dedicated to my physical health. In the new year, I’ve recommitted myself to working out regularly at home, so I’ve been slowly building up my collection of fitness equipment.

The last area in which I’ve been investing is self-care, though you could argue that all of these fall under that category. My current favorite things — the ones I’m sharing with you here today, all relate directly to self-care. I’ll explain below just how each item has affected my physical, emotional, and/or mental health.

1. TaoTronics Light Therapy Lamp

I was on the fence about making this purchase, because although I had heard of light therapy lamps before, I was skeptical as to whether they were actually effective. But this was a lightning deal on Cyber Monday, so I took the plunge…and I’m SO glad I did.

I’ve always been prone to a bit of mild seasonal depression during the winter months, and this lamp has truly helped boost my mood during the day while I’m working at my desk — and really, just overall. You can adjust the brightness, though I like having it on the highest setting. It isn’t distracting at all; in fact, I feel like it helps me get into the flow and really concentrate on the task at hand.

The light therapy lamp I chose has a stand and is flat, so it takes up very little space on my desk. It’s about the size of an iPad when closed. Check it out on Amazon, where it is currently $39.99 (and that is before checking the box to receive $8 off).

2. A La Maison Honeysuckle Lotion

I received this lotion as a birthday gift last June, and it has become a daily staple in my morning and nighttime routine. I’ve never been a big lotion person, but I fell in love with this one because of how light and incredibly moisturizing it is. My skin has been drier than usual this winter, so it has been a lifesaver.

Another thing I love about this lotion is that a little goes a long way, so my first bottle lasted up until a few weeks ago. I use it on my entire body (minus my face), and the scent is so delicious without being overpowering. Check it out on Amazon, where it is currently $9.91.

3. Simple Modern 24 oz. Stainless Steel Tumbler

I set the goal to “drink more water” every few months, but thanks to this tumbler, I’m crushing it this time around. That is saying a lot, too, because I’ve never been one for drinking tons of water throughout the day. I first heard about this particular tumbler on a podcast; the host shared that it was helping her up her water intake and that it felt like an adult sippy cup…I was sold.

I have a ridiculous collection of Yeti, Tervis, Hydroflask, and Contigo tumblers at home, but none come close to motivating me to drink up like this much cheaper Simple Modern tumbler (which just so happens to match my phone case!). Check it out at Target, where it is currently $21.99.

4. Zzzhen 15 lb. Weighted Blanket

I’ve been reading and hearing about the magic of weighted blankets for some time now, so when my anxiety was reaching new heights back in December, I decided to give one a try. The magic is real, people. Not one night has gone by since that I didn’t sleep soundly underneath its 15-pound weight.

My husband teases me about how I lay it out every single night, but there is nothing like the feeling of settling into bed with it pulled up to my neck. It’s the perfect amount of heaviness without being too hot; in fact, I use my regular duvet on top of the weighted blanket all night and I’m completely comfortable.

It turns out that my kids like snuggling up underneath the weighted blanket when we’re watching a movie, and it helps them wind down at the end of the day. I have definitely experienced a decrease in my anxiety overall, but especially when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. It almost feels like the weight of the blanket crushes all of the racing thoughts I used to have. Check it out on Amazon, where it is currently $31.90.

That’s it for this round of Favorite Things, but I will tell you that I had to hold back from sharing more with you. Stay tuned! And in the meantime, if you have any favorite things that are improving your well-being during this time of year, I would LOVE to hear about them. Share in the comments or find me on Instagram.

Last year on this very day, I wrote that I had “mixed emotions about leaving 2019 behind”. Well, I can tell you for certain that my emotions are NOT mixed in the slightest about 2020 ending. It’s been a hard year for everyone, and I know we are all more than ready for 2021.

My word for 2020 was OPTIMIZE. I had high hopes for streamlining all areas of my life, but little did I know when I chose this word that life would be anything but optimal in the months to come.

2020 started out pretty wonderfully. In January, I eliminated refined sugar from my diet and returned to my strength training bootcamp twice a week. I also joined an exercise accountability group. That same month, I released my book, Innovative Income for Music Therapists: Beyond Direct Service & Private Practice, and celebrated at a surprise launch party thrown by my best friend.

The year continued to go smoothly through the beginning of March, when my family went to Marco Island, Florida for vacation. We came home and COVID-19 hit just a few days later; that’s when my optimization plans fell apart at the seams.

Instead, I went into triage mode, both at home and at work. That’s where I stayed until May, when the school year ended and I could breathe a little. At that point, I revisited my word for the year, and looked for ways to apply it in every possible nook and cranny.

When I look back at the year overall, I think I did my best (given the circumstances) to optimize my life, both personally and professionally. Here are a few highlights:

• Completed an entire year of 30-day workout challenges through my accountability group.
• Set up auto-orders for the items I purchase regularly.
• Gave my email system and sequences a complete makeover.
• Purged and reorganized every room and closet in my house.
• Opened a new business with my husband.
• Redecorated my finished basement and created a dedicated workout space.
• Fine-tuned our virtual offerings through Music Therapy Connections.
• Upgraded to a new and bigger car.

2020 was not a total loss. When I think back to this year, I hope to remember not the sadness and tragedy, but instead, evenings spent on our deck with family and friends (socially distanced, of course), countless hours at the pool, date nights at home with my husband after the kids went to bed, and the resilience shown by everyone I know (and don’t know) as we made it through.

And now, on to my word for 2021: EMPOWERED. I chose this word because for most of 2020, I felt anything but. Like everyone else, I was forced to make decisions based on circumstances outside of my control, and that loss of power over my own life affected me in just about every area.

I know there will still be many things out of my hands in the new year, but I’m going to strive not to let that override my personal strength, confidence, and happiness. Instead, I want to make use of my capabilities to create, communicate, and overall just “be” in the world without fear of judgement or the unknown.

Like last year, I don’t have any big specific goals for 2021. I want to do more of the things that make me feel empowered — working out regularly, using my skills to create resources and provide services, and teaching my children how to be their best selves. I want to procrastinate less, and instead dive head-first into challenges (while not taking on unwanted or unnecessary ones).

Choosing a word for the year is, to me, so much more effective than making resolutions or setting lofty goals. That word is like my north star, helping guide my actions and reminding me of my intentions. Have you chosen a word for 2021? Share in the comments or connect with me on Instagram. Happy New Year, and may 2021 bring all of us the peace and joy we’ve been longing for.

The holiday season, as just about everything else in 2020, does not feel the same this year. For my family, there are no holiday parties, school Christmas programs, visits to Santa, or even celebrations with grandparents and extended family. But we are doing everything we can to make the most of it.

Same goes for my studio and private practice, Music Therapy Connections. I always look forward to this time of year, because it’s when we host our big winter recital, team holiday gathering, and my favorite of all, our Christmas-themed music classes. None of those things are happening this month — at least, in the typical way.

While I won’t get to welcome dozens of families into the studio to make music with me and sing our holiday faves, I can invite them to join me on Zoom and do those things. The one perk of meeting virtually instead of in person is that I can invite LOTS more people, no matter where they live, to join in the celebration!

On Tuesday, December 22, I’ll be holding a livestream music class via Zoom at 9:30 am CT. This class is designed for children ages 0-5 and their families, and it will feature singing, instrument-playing, and movement all with a holiday theme.

Registration also includes a song packet containing the lyrics & chords, PLUS the mp3 recordings of the songs from class and a full-length video, so you can still enjoy the class even if you can’t make it to the livestream.

If you are a music therapist or educator, feel free to participate in and use these classes (and all related materials) as inspiration for your own work. You have my permission to use any and all Listen & Learn songs in your live + recorded classes, sessions, and videos.

All of the details and registration are right here! I would love to see you next Tuesday, December 22, and bring a little extra festivity to your week. You’ll be bringing a whole lot of festivity to mine by joining me, that’s for sure!

Music therapy can address multiple goals you may have for your clientele. As I work with many school-age clients, I’m finding that one area I focus on often is academic skills. Singing songs with these skills embedded can be very effective, but I also like to add a kinesthetic touch for sensory input and reinforcement: instruments!

During our academic skills-focused sessions, my clients and I often work on reading, writing, counting, and identifying left and right. It sometimes takes some innovative thinking to get instruments involved! Here are some ways I work on academic skills with my clients during their in-person music therapy sessions.

Reading

One of the first steps in learning to read is being able to identify sight words. One way we can work on this is by playing the drum! I know, it doesn’t make much sense at first, but let’s get creative! I like to use a floor tom and two mallets (one for the client and one for me). Prior to the session, I cut up a sticky note into 15 pieces, write a sight word on each piece, and lightly tape it to the head of the floor tom.

During the session, the client and I sing “Play Your Drum With Me”, changing the lyrics “everybody” to the client’s name. In between each verse I will either point to several sight words and have them identify the words or I will say a word and they have to find it and play their mallet on that part of the drum. Not only are they working on their reading skills during this intervention, but they get some artistic freedom by playing the drum!

Counting

Did you know that you can fit 52 numbers on the white keys of a full-size keyboard? We love to use dry-erase markers to write numbers on the piano and work on our counting skills! We either write the numbers 1-52 or 0-51 on the keyboard, depending on the client’s preference. Then, let’s play every key to count by 1’s and skip to count by 2’s, 5’s, and 10’s! We can also play a game where I sing a number and you have to find it on the keyboard!

If you wait to write the numbers on the keyboard until during the session, this also provides a good opportunity to work on handwriting skills.

Left and Right

I love “The Right-Left Song” from the Listen & Learn collection. It’s simple, repetitive, and gives so many opportunities for success. If the client is new to the concept of right and left, I adapt it to be with lollipop drums.

I hold the lollipop drums in my hands while the client uses the mallets to play either the left or right drum. Give them additional prompts by holding up the drum that corresponds with the correct direction. As they are able to identify these directions more independently, have your clients dance with shakers from right to left!

There are so many possibilities to work on academic skills in the music therapy setting, and adding instruments gives it an extra special touch! As many students are still doing remote learning for school instruction, it’s even more important to have fun and creative ways to reinforce their academic skills. What are your favorite academic-focused music activities?