tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56709564197867342672010-02-06T10:55:53.704-05:00Sean Valinotihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02860714118611141030noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125ListlessLifehttp://feedburner.google.comSubscribe with My Yahoo!Subscribe with NewsGatorSubscribe with My AOLSubscribe with BloglinesSubscribe with NetvibesSubscribe with GoogleSubscribe with PageflakesSubscribe with PlusmoSubscribe with The Free DictionarySubscribe with Bitty BrowserSubscribe with NewsAlloySubscribe with Live.comSubscribe with Excite MIXSubscribe with Attensa for OutlookSubscribe with WebwagSubscribe with Podcast ReadySubscribe with FlurrySubscribe with WikioSubscribe with Daily Rotationtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5670956419786734267.post-34601899442675292192009-12-13T03:26:00.000-05:002009-12-13T03:26:40.378-05:002009-12-13T03:26:40.378-05:00It begins again. But I am still getting older. The hair is thinning and I might be sick. No more soda, no more cigarettes, and I am hating all of this. My son lives to far away and it is even farther now that the second child is on her way. And yet I do nothing. No real improvement - no real change has occurred. I have always thought of myself as a liar and a cheat, but a person who could be good one day given a chance. Given an opportunity to improve I would snatch it by the tail and swallow it whole and bask in my own greatness while feigning humility. But it was all a lie intertwined with with a romantic concept of some sort of street nobility. I am of no real good. No real merit. And the people I seek to impress the most with my honesty and self confidence are the people I lie to and hide from the most. I am a unwanted child with children I cannot keep because weakness pours out of me and covers me in the stench of ultimate failure and stupidity. Even with all of this - I am worse than this... but any more honesty might make it impossible for me to waste another day pretending I am alive.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/5670956419786734267-3460189944267529219?l=www.listlesslife.com' alt='' /></div> <p><a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/e0n_flehMMRKzQ4BiREDqhZnBYs/0/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/e0n_flehMMRKzQ4BiREDqhZnBYs/0/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a><br/> <a href="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/e0n_flehMMRKzQ4BiREDqhZnBYs/1/da"><img src="http://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/e0n_flehMMRKzQ4BiREDqhZnBYs/1/di" border="0" ismap="true"></img></a></p><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?a=I1b7GGNCWn4:6El2nh0Zm2w:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?a=I1b7GGNCWn4:6El2nh0Zm2w:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?i=I1b7GGNCWn4:6El2nh0Zm2w:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?a=I1b7GGNCWn4:6El2nh0Zm2w:qj6IDK7rITs"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?d=qj6IDK7rITs" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?a=I1b7GGNCWn4:6El2nh0Zm2w:gIN9vFwOqvQ"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/ListlessLife?i=I1b7GGNCWn4:6El2nh0Zm2w:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/ListlessLife/~4/I1b7GGNCWn4" height="1" width="1"/>Sean Valinotihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02860714118611141030noreply@blogger.com1http://www.listlesslife.com/2009/12/newness-of-myself.html