Literally-Sarcastic

Ballin'

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 11 Jan 2020 14:46:00 +0000

I see this misspelling about 6,000 times more often than I see it spelled correctly. Nothing against accidental misspellings or anything.. it's just, this particular one really stands out. I always get the image in my head of someone planning to scoop out their eyes with a melon baller, which is way more intense than just crying.

Honorable mentions for misspellings include "sweaty" instead of "sweetie," and "colon" instead of "cologne."

Lots of people have spell check machines in their pocket but no amount of technological advancements and little robot helpers will change the fact that we're still human! I misspell things and mess up grammar all the time. It's fun to laugh about though! What are some misspellings you see very frequently which totally end up changing what a person means to say?

Free Sticker

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 07 Nov 2018 05:47:00 +0000

Have you ever voted so hard that someone gave you a free sticker? ✔️

Have you ever had so much anxiety that you need to have extensive inner monologues before proceeding with all simple tasks involving other people? ✔️

Have you ever felt a bit of relief and then a heckton of guilt and sadness after realizing that anxiety about human interaction was the biggest problem you faced on election day? ✔️

The Most Halloween

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 15:38:00 +0000

I don't like it when people make things into a contest and then one up each other until they've egotistically leapfrogged themselves all the way to another planet and then I have call NASA to ask them to go out and get them. It's just a waste of taxpayer dollars if you ask me.

Are you doing anything cool for Halloween? I'll be sitting indoors, with my skin where it's supposed to be, and doing nothing lol

The Waiting Game

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 09 Aug 2018 15:36:00 +0000

Let's be real though, I started getting these bad boys at age 11. I fondly remember a moment in the 5th grade when a boy so kindly informed me in front of a bunch of my classmates that I had a bunch of dots on me. Yeah it's called having pimples, dummy, also commonly known as "being a pizza face," "playing the devil's laser-tag," "asexual reproduction by budding," "drafting constellations for NASA," "topping the cake with sprinkles," "changing the wallpaper," "cultivating mass," "losing a game of minesweeper," "atoning for your skin," "lighting the beacons of Gondor," "putting the ornaments on the tree," "experimenting with pointillism," and/or "downloading the braille Bible."

So, what is more fun than being a child with something on your face, you ask?

Well duh, it's obviously: bringing that nostalgic childhood baggage with you all the way into adulthood and beyond! And to all my brothers and sisters out there suffering with me, as you can see from my scientific illustration here, even the sweet release of death itself will not allow us to escape this oily, polka-dotted existence.

In the words of a certain dead-and-back-again elf, "what are we but slaves to this torment?"

Truthfully, you deserve to have love for yourself no matter kind of hell-glitter or other fun anomalies decorate your face or body. To accomplish this is easier said than done, I know, I know, I know.. This is certainly NOT one of those empty attempts to cure complicated emotions with a single sentence. Just know that I think so. And I just.. also.. will be providing comic relief in the meantime.

Animal Fashion

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 22 Jun 2018 03:08:00 +0000

No animals were harmed while designing these fashions, duh.

The cat hair on my black leggings is high fashion and has absolutely nothing to do with me being lazy or gross. It's a fun bonus, like glitter or sprinkles.

Birds always want to destroy objects. Especially important objects. I am pretty sure they are at least 60% evil. They're like 40% precious innocent friends, though.

( Hey, do you like these boxes separated with white spaces like this? I think it is a little easier on the eyeballs than just 4 squares smashed right up against each other. I guess this is will be a thing here now. Will I ever find a consistent style and stick with it for more than a moment? Stay tuned. )

It's a Feature

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 13 Mar 2018 21:03:00 +0000

Have you heard of smart phones? They have a wide angle sort of lens in the front

facing camera so you can fit as many friends as possible into your fun house distortion

world of body dismorphia and self-loathing. It's not an oversight--it's a feature!

With every passing year we move technology forward in meaningful ways.

Thank you for being here with me to witness the unfolding of this glorious digital age.

(Note that you can lessen this effect by having the phone farther away from your face.
But if you have short arms like me and are too socially awkward to even purchase and use
a selfie stick alone in your own home, then you are doomed. You could use the self timer

I guess, but who has time for that?)

Game of Shame

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 06 Mar 2018 20:15:00 +0000

These animals are all up in my business.

I get it! The stars are out! I look tired! I need to rest! Yeah ok!

Don't you know that being a mayor AND a camp manager is a full time job though and

oh look,

another fish...

Delete This

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 27 Feb 2018 02:34:00 +0000

Some days you just don't like your own face.

This is not an anti-make up comic, I love make up. The point is that

some days I'm still not satisfied with how I look, no matter how much I try,

and I wish I could just delete my face for a while, you know?

At least you can permanently customize your own face in some video games.

Thanks, technology.

Fresh Air

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 20 Feb 2018 21:00:00 +0000

Fresh air is actually the worst

Feb 14th

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 14 Feb 2018 21:30:00 +0000

❤️ May your Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day, or Valenbro's Day be free of pop ups and microtransactions, and instead be full of love for others (and self love as well) ❤️

~

⚠️ BEWARE ⚠️

If you keep clicking "Next" from here, you will be traveling into the past.
Back to when the quality of my doodles was not high. Back to when
I thought un-funny things were funny. (You mean the present?) Hahahahahha..

If your eyes get stuck from eye-rolling and cringing too hard it's your own fault, I warned you!

However, they serve their purpose as evidence of transformation or progression
or something meaningful like that. So I am going to leave them up
even though it hurts me. Dear god, it hurts me so much.
You're welcome, education community!

2016

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 08 Nov 2016 17:30:00 +0000

Will I ever learn? The story continues November 2020.

Glitter Box

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Mon, 02 Mar 2015 01:33:00 +0000

Guys.

Merry Late Christmas!

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 28 Dec 2013 02:06:00 +0000

I made this drawing for my Reddit Secret Santa giftee person, and now I am sharing it with you!

Happy Late Christmas!

Just Once

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 10 Aug 2013 07:09:00 +0000

Why do these things keep happening.

This is my Life

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sun, 14 Jul 2013 23:26:00 +0000

Drawing Some Pokemon

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 12 Jul 2013 23:25:00 +0000

I Really Enjoy Snacks

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 03:01:00 +0000

Please do not disturb the existence of my snacks

A Chilly Veteran's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 09:00:00 +0000

(if you click on them, they will be bigger)

Thank you for protecting my freedom to be silly on the internet, among other things

Dogfishing

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 05:39:00 +0000

Remember a very important thing:

If you are alive and experiencing life, there is a possibility that you might go shopping for dogs sometime.

You might look at a pet store, a shelter, or contact an expert breeder person.

You might even take in a stray.

~~Maybe you'll just steal one.~~ Try not to, no matter how cute it is.

~~Maybe you'll have two.~~ Nope don't do that.

Whatever you do, don't just go with the first furball you see. Keep your eyes open for other dogs.

The first puppy to stare at you might look cute now, but later you might look back and say "man, I thought that one was good? Now that I think about it, I'm not so sure that was even a dog at all.."

(Hind-leg sight is 20/20)

The next one might be a bit better. It might seem to make a lot more sense.

But if you move on from that one and check out the next shop, you might realize that the lines weren't even colored in properly.

Maybe you had one already and it ran away. It's okay to feel sad, but just remember all the fun you had with that weirdly drawn thing. Good memories keep you alive. Also something or other about learning experiences.

Eventually you'll be glad that you experienced a variety of possibilities. Everything in your life leads you somewhere. Probably somewhere AWESOME that you wouldn't have ever expected.

Maybe your future dog is a secret part-time Pirate who wears cool bandannas and digs up treasure in your backyard and takes you on adventures. Who knows?

And don't forget that you don't even really need a dog in the first place if you don't want one.

Maybe you wanted a cat.

Or maybe you don't want to clean up any poop of anything at all.

This is definitely a dating metaphor (for humans).

Disney Wars Episode 106: Space Mountain

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Tue, 30 Oct 2012 23:21:00 +0000

Self Acceptance: A Coming of Age Story

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 21:06:00 +0000

Baby Times

Child Times

Pre-teen Times

Teen Times

College Times

Now Times

The best.

Happy T-Rex

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 18:41:00 +0000

You've Got Fail

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Thu, 06 Sep 2012 21:18:00 +0000

Utilities

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 18:35:00 +0000

I Didn't Mean THAT Weird

noreply@blogger.com (Sara) — Wed, 29 Aug 2012 22:20:00 +0000