Literally Died

You’re looking a little green

jon — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 06:48:25 +0000

Speaking of her parents’ opinion of her fiancee, Heidi Montag said, “They thought he was so funny, and they thought we were literally two peas in a pod.”

Owned by Satan

jon — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 06:39:53 +0000

“He didn’t do a whole lot else over the rest of his career, so all’s I can imagine is that his heart literally broke when he was forced to leave the Padres while the team was literally owned by Satan.”

New meaning to the term ‘organ donor’

jon — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 10:25:32 +0000

NPR did an article about a new book about motherhood. Regarding the interview with the author, they said “McGhee says that in Someday, her ninth book, she literally put her heart on the page.”

Sarah Jessica Parker: actress, producer, and nuclear physicist

jon — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 10:25:02 +0000

In an interview, Sarah Jessica Parker said, “My fatal flaw is that I have to be involved literally down to splitting the atoms.”

Allergies isn’t the only thing that’s wrong here

jon — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 10:23:37 +0000

Time Magazine interviewed a mother whose daughter has a severe allergy. The article quotes her saying, “She knows something is very wrong and literally tries to jump out of skin. It’s unbearable to watch.”

Don’t kid when it comes to your intestines

jon — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 08:00:12 +0000

“They’ve added a habanero salsa to their lineup, complete with a handwritten warning that says ‘Very Spicy, Eat at your Own Risk’. Of course I had to try it and let me tell you, they are not kidding. I only got through 1/8 of the salsa cup and my intestines are on fire, literally.”

Hope the doctor can reglue you

jon — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:00:45 +0000

My friend was telling me about a nearly impossible coincidental meeting when she said, “I literally became unglued when I saw him.”

What’s hell like?

jon — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 08:00:19 +0000

My friend was talking about why he has faith in God. When he started talking about the hardship his mom has been through he said, “My mom has gone through hell….literally.”

Talk about unpleasant childhood

jon — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:00:32 +0000

During the Winter Olympics, a commentator noted, “[People in Scandinavian countries] literally grow up on skates.”

Probably a legitimate reason to call 911

jon — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:00:21 +0000

“SOS 911, this girl need a helping hand. she’s just can’t get out of her bed! somebody get her something, she’s literally sticked to the bed.”