Little Bit Quirky

Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam!

2012-02-14T06:12:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the week again! Time to link up to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday. Well, it's actually a little early to be doing that. I usually write a post on Sunday night and then again on Tuesday night. Tuesday's post is the one that I link up. This week, the Grammy Awards ran really late, and it was too late for me to write a post after them. So, I'm writing my post on Monday night. I figure it's close enough to Thursday to link up, right? The letter this week is "M." My topic is on spam mail.

Usually, I delete my spam as quickly as it arrives in my email inbox. Things have been so crazy lately, however, that it started to pile up. I let it pile up for 3 days, and I had over 150 email in my spam folder. Of that, about 4 were actual emails, including an electronic Valentine's Day card that my daughter sent to me (she's beyond sweet). The remaining 150 emails were truly spam.

I tried to breakdown the different categories they fell into. I couldn't account for every single one because many were just beyond boring. Or stupid. Here's the breakdown:

Deals on new cars: 3 emails

Deals on overstocked items: 3 emails

Dating sites: 9 emails (these included Christian dating, over 40 dating, over 50 dating, and African-American dating).

Tax Services: 4 emails

Insurance of some kind: 5 emails

Online pharmacy: 4 emails

Satellite television: 4 emails

Credit scores/Background checks: 6 emails

Coupons: 4 emails

Giftcard offers: 8 emails

Penis enlargement: 7 emails

AARP membership: 1 email

Wow, that only accounted for about 50 emails. I still had another 100 spam emails that were just too insipid to try and categorize.

The biggest shock was that AARP only sent me one email. The other big shocker was all the dating sites. Hello, I am married. I once heard that something like 50 percent of dating site members are married. That's one scary statistic. Do they purposely market to married people?

That's a scary thought!

What's in your spam folder?

The Animal Way

2012-02-10T06:12:00.000-08:00

At bedtime, we've been reading The Little House on the Prairie series. The other night, we read how Pa Ingalls predicted that they were going to have a long winter because they found a muskrat house with extra-thick walls. He said they knew the winter was going to be extra rough so they were prepared. Laura Ingalls was fascinated with this and asked how the muskrats knew that. Pa told her that G_d told them. Laura asked why G_d didn't tell this to humans. This led Pa to get philosophical and talk about how G_d needed to talk with animals since he didn't give them free will. He doesn't need to talk with humans since he gave us the tools we need to fend for ourselves.

My daughter became quiet and thoughtful after hearing this passage. She then stated that she believes animals have religion too. She qualified her statement to say that they practice their religion the "Animal Way" and not the way humans practice religion.

I wonder if animals' religion cause them to kill others who don't practice the religion in the same animal way that they do?

My daughter isn't the only person in this family with deep thoughts!

hehe

Looking your Best

2012-02-08T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the week--time to link up to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday! This week, we have to write about the letter "L." Ironically, Blogher's Life Well Lived series wants me to write a post this week about Looking your Best! I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone since these two things came together so well!

The question(s) I'm supposed to answer are:

Do you have a favorite blogger or YouTube channel for hair tutorials?

Do you create your own?

What's your best tip for finding the best tips?

Now, when it comes to hair, I've lost the hair lottery. My hair is very thin and fine. It seems the older I get, the worse it gets. I'd like to say that I rely heavily on the internet to find ways to get my hair to look better. Honestly, it has never occurred to me to check out hair tutorials on YouTube. The most I can claim to do is to do internet searches in order to find hair products that would work with my hair without weighing it down too much.

My tip for finding the best tips is: ask a hair stylist that you adore for tips! They know hair, and if they're good with your hair, then they'll steer you in the right direction.

The best tip I've ever received for my hair was from a hair stylist I used to go to in Beverly Hills. She knew her stuff. Many famous celebrities went to her to get their hair done. She was a wealth of information. One of the best tips she ever gave me was to buy the Caruso Steam rollers that were being heavily advertised on television infomercials. She was usually against any type of heated appliance such as curling irons for my hair. But she insisted that these rollers would add body to my hair without damaging it. She was right--they are fabulous! I still use them to this day!

Please check out the tips other bloggers have left here.

Are you interested in a chance at winning a Kindle Fire? Then comment here!

I'd also love to know the best tip you ever received for your hair. Where did you get it?

I think we sometimes get so wrapped up in our busy lives that we don't always look our best. My pledge for 2012 is to put a little more effort back into looking good!

My Two Year Blogging Anniversary!

2012-02-06T06:12:00.000-08:00

Today marks my second year of blogging! I can't believe I've been at this for 2 years now! I still feel like a newbie--except one that's having a hard time coming up with interesting things to write about!

I'd like to say that I have plans to start my third year with lots of interesting ideas that will take my blog in all new directions. Unfortunately, I haven't had much time lately to even come up with good ideas to blog about!

So, I'll keep plowing along, hoping to unearth the occasional gem, although I'm sure I'll mostly come up with dirt.

Thanks for staying with me on this journey! When I started I really needed the outlet. Now, I'm happy to say that I don't need that outlet anymore--at least on most days. Things have been going well, and I just don't have as much to whine about. There's still plenty of things to poke fun of, which I'm sure I'll continue to do!

Here's to two more wonderful years of blogging. Aw, heck--make that three more years!

We Need to Talk about Kevin

2012-02-01T06:15:00.000-08:00

It's time to link up to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday. The letter this week is K. K is for Kevin.

My husband and I watched We Need to Talk about Kevin the other night. I highly recommend this movie. While it's beyond depressing, it covers some interesting topics such as unconditional love through horrible acts and the mother's role in these acts.

I don't want to give much away, plot-wise. I will say that Tilda Swinton plays Eva, a mother of a son who committed unspeakable acts of violence. She spends a lot of the movie wallowing in guilt and loving this "monster."

The question the movie left me with is: How responsible is the mother when her child does an unspeakable act? Some of you might jump in and correct me and say the question should be how responsible are the parents. I am purposely posing the question with just the mother being responsible. Why? Because society always seems to put all the blame on the mother when things don't go well.

Are mothers responsible? This is a general question that probably can only be answered on a case by case basis. In the case of the movie, they show Eva to be a less than perfect mother. She's not naturally maternal. She seems to resent being a mother and giving up the freedom she had before becoming a mother. Actually, I really related to her character! Does this provide the ingredients to cause a child to be amoral?

In the case of the movie, I'd have to say, "No!" Kevin was shown to be a sociopath or a psychopath since the time he was a young toddler. It just seemed to be who he was. Yet, I found people who commented on the boards at the IMDB site seemed to place a lot of the blame on the mother character. Interestingly, one review I read at this site complained that the movie was too extreme in making Kevin an obvious sociopath when a more interesting movie would have been to be more ambiguous to raise more questions regarding nature vs. nuture. Nevertheless, a sizable number of people commenting blamed Tilda's Swinton's character for how her son turned out.

I find an interesting parallel with the topic of autism. While experts have found no evidence that a mother is responsible for her child's autism, many people in society blame the mother anyway.

Why is the mother always blamed? Why can't people at least pick on both parents?

Just wondering!

Anyway, if you have a chance to see this movie, I highly recommend it. Just be sure to get a prescription of Prozac for after the movie. It's not an easy movie to watch.

Dream Whatever You Want!

2012-01-30T06:12:00.000-08:00

For as long as I can remember, my daughter has claimed that she dreams whatever she wants to. So, if she wants to dream about being on a roller coaster, then that's what her dream will be about! I never took her very seriously. I had heard of a concept called Lucid Dreams where people can control what they dream and what happens in a dream. But from what I've heard about lucid dreaming, it takes years to master. Based on a cursory Google search, I found that scientists do believe that lucid dreams can happen.

The other day, I started asking my daughter about her ability to control her dreams. She said that she can always dream what she wants--it's not a sometimes thing. After all these years I finally started taking her more seriously. Maybe she really does have this ability!

I was also curious to see if there was any connection between lucid dreams and Melatonin. We give our daughter Melatonin to help her sleep at night. Otherwise, she has a hard time turning her brain off and can stay awake all night. Interestingly, there seems to be a connection between lucid dreams and Melatonin. Many people who pursue lucid dreams actually take Melatonin to help them. From what I researched, many people believe you need to already be able to lucid dream, but the Melatonin increases the frequency of lucid dreaming.

I don't know if my daughter had lucid dreams before taking the Melatonin. I can't remember when she started talking about these dreams.

I'm definitely taking her claims more seriously now. I also wish I had the ability to control my dreams. I would probably spend every night dreaming about eating the most amazing desserts while I was nice and thin. Then I would fly all over the place. Because I could!

What would you dream about?

Just Saying!

2012-01-25T06:15:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the week--time to link up to Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday. The letter this week is "J." I really don't have anything for J, so I'm cheating this week. J is for Just Saying!

There's been a lot of excitement here. My daughter turned 8 yesterday! We had a great party for her over the weekend. Seven was a pretty fantastic age, but I think eight will be even better!

I often think that mothering has aged me. I have wrinkles in places I didn't think was possible! Gray hairs are coming in with scary regularity.

It's easy to blame my daughter for this, but the truth is, a lot of time has passed since I've had her. I think it's simply a function of the passing years and not the stress she gives me!

I still can't believe my daughter is turning eight. She was just a baby yesterday!

Anyway, in the spirit of my blog, I'm going to share a funny story that happened on the last day she was 7.

She was telling me about the amount of money she hopes to earn as an adult. She'd like to earn $100 million a year. I told her that was a lot of money. Would she share any of it with her father and me? She said, "Of course! I'd give you two $100/year." When I expressed shock that's what we were getting, she said, "What? That's a LOT of money!" LOL

Happy birthday my dear! The laughter you provide me will always keep me young!

Party Hearty!

2012-01-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

We had a party for my daughter's eighth birthday this Sunday. We wanted to get away doing something kind of inexpensive like a bowling party which we did last year. But my daughter was adamant that she wanted to do something different this year. My husband found a party place while doing an internet search. After checking out the site, I realized my daughter went to this place a couple of years ago for a friend's party, and they did a fabulous job! They do a wide range of parties, so we picked something we thought our daughter would love--a cuddly critters pajama party!

My daughter and her friends arrive wearing pajamas. They stuffed cute animals they selected, then got to pick outfits for them. They had their hair styled and the staff did some face painting. They made their own lip gloss and enjoy a pretty spartan meal over an elaborately decorated table. They then got to dance and have fun. The girls had a blast!

My daughter did a great job! Not only did she have a lot of fun, she went out of her way to greet everyone and made sure they were having fun too. Considering that she had friends from camp, friends from her old school, and friends from her new school, she went out of her way to introduce her friends to each other. The kids did a great job mingling and everyone had a great time!

As with all parties, not everyone was able to show up, and we had a couple of last-minute cancellations. One of her friends was pretty sick, and her birthday is the day after the party! My daughter felt so bad that she was missing out on her party AND her own birthday celebration, that she made sure a stuffed animal was made for her! The party place forgot to provide an outfit for the animal, so my daughter was looking for an outfit to give for her friend's stuffed animal. She found that an American Girl outfit fit the stuffed animal. I pointed out that the outfit cost $28 and was too extravagant. I assured her that her friend will like the stuffed animal as it, but my daughter is determined to make an outfit or do something!

I can't get over that my baby is turning 8! I also can't get over how much she's accomplished over the last few years! She's turning into a beautiful young lady with an amazing heart!

I couldn't be more proud of her!

The Sleepover

2012-01-20T06:15:00.000-08:00

My daughter had her first sleepover last weekend. We had her invite a friend to come to our house. I felt better being able to keep an eye on things. Over the winter break, my daughter told her aunt that we aren't letting her sleep at a friend's house yet because we'd miss her so much and be too lonely. Okay, she might have a point.

Anyway, the sleepover was a huge success. My daughter and her friend had a good time. They played nicely together, watched a movie, and told ghost stories before going to bed. They even went to bed around 10--not bad considering I thought they'd be up all night talking!

My daughter's friend comes from a fairly large family. She is the youngest of 4 kids. She talked a lot about how much she fought with her sister and brothers. Nevertheless, all the sibling talk in addition to having a playmate over, made my daughter feel kind of lonely. She wanted me to look up "adoptions" on the internet because she decided she wanted a little sister of her own.

I tried to explain to her that we weren't adopting a baby. Both my husband and I are too old to take care of a baby. She insisted that she just wanted me to find out how you go about it. She wasn't expecting me to do it.

Oy.

I had to explain to her that as she gets older, she'll be spending less time at home and more time with friends. I then explained how having a baby around might not make the best playmate for her and take away all the attention that we focus on her right now.

Her friend butted in by suggesting that maybe we get our daughter a fun pet like a cat or a dog since the fish she has wasn't very interactive. I explained to her that both my daughter and husband have allergies to cats and dogs, which makes getting a fun pet difficult (mental note: having my daughter go to a gifted magnet means her friends are smart. This isn't always a good thing).

So while the sleepover was a success on many levels, it still opened up a huge can of worms. Luckily, my daughter has dropped the idea of adoption for now.

Oy.

Inappropriate!

2012-01-18T06:15:00.000-08:00

It's Alphabe-Thursday! So, I'm linking up to Jenny Matlock's wonderful blog to post about the letter "I." Today's topic is inappropriate!

My daughter, like the majority of almost 8-year olds (gulp) out there loves to play games on the computer. We screen the websites she goes on to be sure the content matter is appropriate.

Over the winter break, she went to camp at the local YMCA. They gave the kids some computer time, and she was exposed to some new games. She really liked one game called
Flying Monkeys. I googled it and found that you can play it for free on the internet. It's a cute game involving keeping a monkey moving on swinging vines. It seemed harmless and required good eye-hand coordination, so I approved the game for her to play at home. It turned out that this opened the pathway to lots of other games. They seemed pretty harmless, so I wasn't too concerned.

Until the other day when my daughter started telling me about a game that sounded inappropriate. She told me that it was called Naughty Classroom, and it involved a class of mostly boys who behaved badly. It sounded relatively harmless, but I teased her about playing a game that encouraged bad behavior in the classroom.

Then she told me that the whole point of the game seems to be for the class to see the teacher's bra and panties. WTF? I told her that she wasn't going to play that game any more. I explained that it was disrespectful to girls and women. She seemed to understand and promised me that she wouldn't play it again.

After our conversation, I checked out the internet history to see what games she played at the site. She spent most of her time playing a Hannah Montana dress-up game and other dress-up games. She also played a Pokemon game and some other harmless games.

Then I found the Naughty Class game and clicked on the link. I was horrified. My daughter summed up the game perfectly. It's pretty PG-rated fare, but I don't like the message that game sends out to kids. I find it particularly appalling that it's mingled on with games that are clearly geared for under 10 year olds (or younger).

Many sites on the internet are blacking out today (Wednesday, Jan. 18th) to protest proposed Congressional censorship on the internet. I feel a little guilty asking a gaming website to censor the games it has so it's appropriate for particular age groups--particularly on this day. My main wish is for websites like this to be more responsible and group the games my age ranges, so that the parents can block games that might be inappropriate for their children to see.

Or they can just take down the misogynistic, stupid game.

Either one works for me!

Who Determines Who Should Live and Who Should Die?

2012-01-16T06:15:00.000-08:00

There's been a big movement in the special needs cyber world this weekend. The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) is apparently refusing to do a kidney transplant on a two-year old girl named Amelia. Without this transplant, she will most likely die in six months to a year from now. She has a kidney that would be donated from a family member. So why won't the hospital perform the surgery? According to Amelia's mother's blog, they won't perform the surgery because Amelia is "mentally retarded." Kidney transplants require a very complex drug regimen. Their reasoning is that in the future, after the parents have died, how could Amelia stay on top of the regimen should another kidney transplant be needed? (Kidney transplants are only good for about 12 years, according to the blog).

To clarify again, Amelia isn't on the kidney donor wait list. A family member is willing to donate a kidney for her. There's no indication that she would have a low survival rate for doing the surgery. It is known that she cannot survive without the surgery. So, why won't the hospital do the surgery? Is being "mentally retarded" reason to deny a young girl her life?

I believe that every person can bring value to the world. Every life is important and can--and most definitely will--contribute significantly to the world. This isn't always obvious, but it's there. Everyone makes their mark in the world in one way or another. Who knows? Maybe Amelia will inspire a loved one to do something amazing, like discover the cure for cancer.

I'm sure difficult decisions are made when a kidney becomes available to people who are waiting on the donor list. From what I understand, it's not given to the person who is first on the list. Many factors are considered such as finding the best match, giving it someone who would most likely thrive from the donation, etc. I'm sure factors like cognitive functioning come into play. But in cases where the kidney is only being donated because it's going to a loved one? I don't understand the reason to deny it.

I have a friend whose husband donated his kidney to their 7-year old daughter this past summer. It was a difficult procedure for both of them, and my friend had the stressful job of making sure the drug regimen was followed perfectly. I know that both my friend and her husband were so happy they did it. Their daughter is doing extremely well and has never been healthier.

I can't imagine another child being denied this same opportunity.

Please join me in signing this petition to let the hospital know your outrage. Maybe it will help them revisit this case and reconsider their decision. As I write this, over 14,200 people have already signed this petition! It would be great if 100,000 signed it!

Possible Asperger's in the Movies

2012-01-13T06:12:00.000-08:00

My husband is a member of The Academy. No, not Star Fleet Academy, but The Academy that puts on the Oscars and decides what the best movie of the year is. That means we're crazy busy from early November until early February watching movies. We probably watch about 5 movies a week, most weeks. When we first received the screeners, I remember thinking, "Awesome!" However, it really is a lot of work and not as much fun as I thought it would be. Oh, the responsibility.

Anyway, I saw a couple of good movies this week that had main characters who had social skills problems. Both movies are based on books. Ironically, one movie avoided using the term Asperger's, while I understand the book mentions it as a possibility. The other movie suggested the character might have Asperger's while the book the movie is based on does not.

The first movie was The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. I loved this movie! The main character, Lisbeth Salander, is anti-social. She doesn't appear to have many (if any) friends. In the scene that introduces her, we see her at a business meeting, having to answer questions about work she's done. She fails to give eye contact, is frank about not wanting to be at the meeting, and appears to say whatever is on her mind. Asperger's is never mentioned during the movie, but I understand that the male lead in the novel speculates that Lisbeth might have Asperger's.

Lisbeth did not appear to have Asperger's in the movie. Her anti-social behavior seems to stem from her abusive childhood, in my opinion. I just didn't see much about her that was spectrummy, other than that first scene.

The other movie, Incredibly Loud and Extremely Close, tells the story of a nine-year old boy, Oskar Schell, who is on a quest to get information. Oskar is incredibly smart. He also has a ton of sensory issues. I've heard that the book doesn't mention the possibility of Oskar having Asperger's, but the movie does briefly touch on it. Oskar mentions that he was assessed for Asperger's, but the results were inconclusive.

In addition to Oskar's sensory issues, he had a hard time regulating his emotions and would lash out inappropriately. He also has an extremely hard time talking with other people. The horrible events of what his character had been through could explain his issues worsening, but he did seem to be on the spectrum, albeit extremely high on the spectrum. I'm curious if the movie played up his quirkiness to make the character more interesting (or hip even).

I enjoyed both movies a lot and want to read the novels they are were adapted from.

Have you seen any movies you like this winter season?

Hate and Prejudice

2012-01-11T06:12:00.000-08:00

Alphabe-Thursday is here! Jenny Matlock is having us write something about the letter "H." H is for hate--particularly prejudice.

My daughter is learning about Martin Luther King, Jr. in school now. As part of this lesson, the teacher showed the kids what prejudice feels like. She told the kids that there were new school rules that were based on the children's eye color. Children with blue, green, or hazel eyes were not allowed certain rights in the classroom. They couldn't sit at desks, but had to sit on the floor instead. They weren't allowed to eat, drink, or use the bathroom while at school. Instead, they had to wait until they went home. My daughter has brown eyes, so she didn't have to feel discriminated against. Nevertheless, she was so upset that her friends' were being treated unfairly that she started crying. Other kids yelled, "No fair!" regardless of what their eye color was. Some kids rejoiced that they were in the good group, but for the most part, the brown-eyed children did not enjoy having extra rights. This lesson lasted for only about an hour (if that), but made a huge impression of the kids about how unfair prejudice is.

Ironically, I remember this exact same lesson when I was in elementary school. I'm not sure we were as compassionate. I remember seeing a documentary the next day where a teacher had her kids do the same lesson. The outcome wasn't as good. The kids who were in the "minority" quickly became more introverted and insecure. The "majority" started bullying the other group. I researched this topic on Google and found this link on the topic. Considering my age, my memory wasn't that faulty (for a change).

Would my daughter's class have become more abusive and less empathetic if they did it longer? I don't think so. I'd like to think that we live in a society where we're more accepting of diversity (at least in most areas of the country).

I'm pleased that my daughter and her classmates immediately realized that discrimination isn't fair and were verbal about this.

Good for them!

Mommy Fail!

2012-01-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

We all have those moments where we don't live up to our idea of what the perfect mother is. Sometimes, the thought of our actions can be downright cringe-worthy. I had one of those moments this weekend. After a busy week of working and mothering, I was exhausted. Before my daughter went to bed on Friday night, I told her how much I was looking forward to sleeping in the next day; how much I really needed it!

The next morning, my daughter woke me at at 5:30. After I took her back to her room to see what the matter was, she told me that she needed more water. She also told me that she had been up for awhile and needed a hug from me. She then enthusiastically hugged me. I was shocked. Angry and shocked.

I told her that I was at a huge loss. I didn't understand why she would wake me up for a hug when I had told her how desperately I needed sleep. I told her that while I loved her very much and usually love the hugs, it was a selfish thing for her to do.

I then noticed that she didn't look well. I felt her forehead and it was burning hot. I then understood that she was up for awhile and needed a hug (and more water) because she was sick. I had just chided my sick child! I felt awful and apologized. A lot.

I know these kind of incidents happen to everyone, and my daughter totally forgave me. Nevertheless, I hate when they happen.

Can't I be perfect all the time--or at least some of the time?

That would be nice!

Creating Your Happiness and a Chance to Win a Kindle Fire

2012-01-05T22:31:00.000-08:00

As part of its Life Well Lived series, BlogHer asked me to answer the following question: How do you plan to create happiness for yourself in 2012?

Great question! I wish creating happiness is as easy as waving a magic wand around! I posted my answer in the comment section of this post at BlogHer. Please read it and enter one of your own!

Also, after you check out that fantastic post (and my fantastic comment), go to this post to write another comment of your own in order to enter a sweepstakes to win a Kindle Fire. I've written a comment there as well because I would LOVE to get a Kindle Fire!

Happy reading and commenting!

Gross Nickel and Diming by United Airlines

2012-01-04T06:15:00.000-08:00

It's that time of the week! Time to do a post based on a letter of the alphabet. This week's letter is the letter "G." I think. It's been a couple of weeks so I've lost track. Anyway, I hope it's the letter G because that's what I'm writing to. For me, G is for United Airline's gross nickel and diming policy. Check out the other G (I hope) posts at Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday link-up.

Okay, before I get a bunch of angry comments (or maybe one if I'm lucky) about how I'm picking on United Airlines, I'll be upfront and say I am picking on them. I'm sure almost all airlines nickel and dime their passengers. I don't fly much anymore--maybe just one trip a year, so United is my only experience over the last few years.

I just had a wonderful winter vacation, visiting family in Illinois, then flying to New York City to take in the holiday sights. One thing that struck me about flying is how much the airlines charge for the nice little extras, like sitting closer up on the plane or having a little extra legroom, or checking in your luggage, or carrying on your luggage. You name it, United Airlines has found a way to charge you for it!

Imagine the scene at the airport: my husband has checked us in using the airlines automated check-in station. After we check in, the computer kindly shows us some extras we can get. For a mere $100 each for one leg of our journey, we can sit further up in the plane and have some extra legroom. Um, no thanks. United also offered an option where you could pay a fee (something like $50 or $60, I can't remember) to board the plane earlier. These extras can sure add up very fast for a family that flies.

When we were waiting to board the plane at JFK to return to Los Angeles, the gate agents started to do "pre-boarding." They started with the standard call for first class. They also allowed military personnel to board early without paying. This is new to me and one thing that I did find really nice! They then went through a long litany of other people who could board early including their Premier 1K members, Premier Platinum, Premier Gold, and Premier Silver. At some point, they made the "pre-boarders" go in slightly different way. One passenger observed that this was so they wouldn't go down the "red carpet" entrance, which consisted of about 1.5 foot red carpet that only the people with the most miles were allowed to walk on. Seriously!

After all that, they allowed people with children to pre-board. We excitedly got in line, but the gate agent glared at us and qualified the statement to parents traveling with children under 4. My daughter yelled out, "I'm almost 8! We need to get out of line!" This caused everyone within earshot to laugh. We also started making fun of the stupid pre-boarding procedure: "Anyone under the zodiac sign of Aquarius may now board the plane!"

At the end of the flight, my husband noticed that the overhead luggage compartments were marked with signs that said something along the lines of "For Premier Plus Passengers Only." The flight crew didn't enforce this on our flight, but apparently, in the future, if you want to use the overhead bins, you're going to be paying for that too.

So much for flying the friendly skies.

My husband found this Mad-TV video on no-frills flying. It was made in 2007, but really captures the current nickel and diming environment perfectly! Enjoy!

Happy New Year and HIghlights from New York Trip

2012-01-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

I had a nice break! We went on vacation to Illinois to visit family, then New York for the holidays. We arrived in New York on Christmas night and decided it would be great to see the tree at Rockefeller Center. Just us and one million other people! New York was insanely crowded for some odd reason. I heard something about a New Year's Eve party in Times Square? I don't know, but it was difficult to walk around there due to the mass of people. We had to wait in line to get into the Metropolitan Museum of Art, get out of the Metropolitan Museum of Art (I'm not kidding), and even FAO Schwarz had a line to get in. Going to New York City between Christmas and New Years apparently is not that original of an idea. Go figure!

We had a great time though! In addition to the activities I mentioned above, we went to the Natural History Museum, ice skating in Central Park, Times Square (but not on New Year's Eve), walked the ethnic neighborhoods of China Town and Little Italy, walked the artsy areas of Soho, Noho, and the Village, took a Harbor cruise to see the Statue of Liberty, and took in the beautiful views of New York from the top of Rockefeller Center. We took a carriage ride around Central Park in the freezing cold. We also caught up with old friends of my husbands and managed to hightail it out of town before the madness of New Year's Eve.

One of my favorite memories of the trip was watching my daughter look at the art in the Metropolitan Museum. She would take her time staring at the paintings that interested here and would read the detailed descriptions next to the painting. This made me rather uncomfortable when she was looking at this painting with the following description:

The subject of the picture, previously identified as Tarquin and Lucretia, seems rather to show Tamar being raped by her brother, Amnon. According to II Samuel 13:1–22, Amnon, a son of David, fell in love with his sister Tamar. With a friend he conceived of a ruse whereby he feigned illness and requested that his sister attend him. When alone, he turned on her and raped her. Overcome with revulsion for what he had done, he then had her expulsed from the bedchamber. Their brother, Absalom, discovered the deed and had Amnon slain.

That's the stuff I like my 7-year old to read about. Interestingly, my daughter was always drawn to the paintings that had nudity in them. When we asked her about it later, she said that many of these paintings had Venus in them, who she found to be so beautiful. She did attract the attention of some people in the museum who seemed to be amused watching her take in the paintings and studying them at length.

Another fun moment was watching her shout "Occupy Wall Street!" when we went to Zuccotti Park. Okay, she was the only "protester" there, and she did it because we asked her to for our video, but she was adorable nevertheless.

My favorite moment though was when she seemed enchanted by the horse and carriages, but then was horrified by the whips the drivers had, declaring that she didn't want to go on a ride. When we explained that the whips were only for show, she felt much better. Later, when we took a ride, our driver assured her that he only uses the whip on cabbies. I don't know when she became an activist for animal rights, but I love it! It makes me so proud that she has such a big heart and cares about these type of issues at her age!

Happy New Year indeed!

My Most Visited Blog Post

2011-12-30T07:15:00.000-08:00

My most visited blog post was published in July 2010. Interestingly, three of the top five posts come from this month. I guess it was the golden era of my blog. This is also one of my favorites because I think it's the most informative. When I set out to write a list and do research I was horrified at how little accurate information there was regarding Asperger's. This post is not only the most visited, it's BY FAR the most visited. I it really has added to the body of knowledge on the internet.

12 Most Common Symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome

In general, autism in a child can be pretty apparent. One of the most notable symptoms is a speech delay. Asperger Syndrome can be much tougher to spot. There is no speech delay. I've listed the 12 most common symptoms of Asperger's. Keep in mind that this is not a complete list, and a child with Asperger's will not necessarily have all the symptoms. To compile this list, I did a Google search. Ironically, I found many of the lists lacking! So, I used WebMD's list and added on to it.

1) Problems with social skills: Children with Asperger's syndrome generally have difficulty interacting with others and often are awkward in social situations. They generally do not make friends easily. I have found that they generally do very well with other kids on the spectrum, however.

2) Eccentric or repetitive behaviors: Children with this condition may develop odd, repetitive movements, such as hand wringing or finger twisting. This is called stimming. Children do this to soothe themselves. Other common stims include spinning and jumping. I can usually spot a child on the spectrum immediately from this behavior.

3) Unusual preoccupations or rituals: A child with Asperger's syndrome may develop rituals that he or she refuses to alter, such as getting dressed in a specific order.

4) Communication difficulties: People with Asperger's syndrome may not make eye contact when speaking with someone. They may have trouble using facial expressions and gestures, and understanding body language. They also tend to have problems understanding language in context.

5) Limited range of interests: A child with Asperger's syndrome may develop an intense, almost obsessive, interest in a few areas, such as sports schedules, weather, or maps. My daughter loves to read about bugs, dinosaurs, outer space, extinct animals--pretty much anything related to science.

6) Coordination problems: The movements of children with Asperger's syndrome may seem clumsy or awkward. My daughter seems to have more than her share of mishaps, oftentimes because she is not paying full attention to what she's doing. She also has low muscle-tone, which is common with Aspeger's.

7) Sensory issues: many kids with Asperger's syndrome are either extra sensitive or less sensitive to sensory issues. For example, my daughter hates loud noises. She's told me that balloons popping HURT her ears. She seems to realize that they affect her more than they do other kids.

8) Difficulty with regulating emotions: my daughter will tantrum at little things because she has difficulties with problem-solving. She also just has a hard time with using other emotions or even just using her words to express herself.

9) Lack of empathy: children with Asperger's cannot empathize with other people.

10) Difficulties with transitions and rigidity: This is a biggie for my daughter. If she has to stop doing what she wants to do or do it in a different way then she wants to, it can cause tantrums.

11) Difficulty with imaginative play: children with Asperger's can be very literal and can have a difficult time with doing things like pretend play. This can be very difficult for the child with Asperger's with playing with other children.

12) Skilled or talented: Many children with Asperger's syndrome are exceptionally talented or skilled in a particular area, such as music or math. My daughter is very smart. She taught herself to read when she was 4 and got into reading about science and nature soon thereafter!

If your child is exhibiting some of these symptoms, does it mean he/she has Asperger's? Could be, but there are other things that can bring on these symptoms. Side effects from some medications, such as Singulair can bring on tantrums, for example. Also, some children who are highly gifted may exhibit some of these symptoms as well. I do think it's important to get your child assessed if you're worried. The therapies we've done with our daughter has made such a huge difference! She's learning how to play with other kids, how to regulate her emotions, how to be less rigid, how to play imaginatively, even how to empathize! Yay!

Second Most Visited Blog Post

2011-12-29T07:30:00.000-08:00

The second most visited blog post on my blog is the only surprise entry to me. I published this post in September 2011 regarding the weird food my daughter's school district was serving. At the time, I thought this post was a silly one that wouldn't get much attention. I think this post ended up being highly visited, however, because the L.A. Times had an editorial lauding the new menu, which many other people didn't agree with. A couple other sites linked back to my post as support for not everyone liking the new menu. I think people were swayed not only by my great points, but by the comments this post received from other unhappy parents.

Interestingly, the L.A. Times published an article this past weekend where the school district conceded that the new menu was a failure, and they were going to be scrapping the exotic menu choices. Wow, the power of the blog! Well, I can dream. I think the flood of uneaten lunches in the schools' trash cans is what made the District admit defeat.

Major School Lunch Overhaul

My daughter attends Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD)--one of the largest school districts in the country. They educate a wide range of kids, many who are poor and rely on the free and reduced lunch program. Last year, Jaime Oliver tried to work with LAUSD to overhaul the lunches they serve. Jaime wanted to make the lunches healthier. LAUSD told him to bugger off. Their position was that the lunches were healthy and didn't need any outside help. Some parents smuggled the lunches out for Jaime to examine. He criticized the lack of fresh fruits and vegetables. Mostly, however, he was critical of the school serving a choice of chocolate milk at breakfast and lunch. He felt that the school should only serve unflavored low-fat milk. The extra sugar in the chocolate milk could lead to childhood obesity.

I wish Jaime Oliver would just mind his own business. Personally, I had no problem with the schools serving chocolate mild. Yes, it is higher in sugar than regular milk, but it's not exactly empty calories. Chocolate milk is loaded with calcium and protein. To me, it's better for the kids to drink the extra sugar and get the benefit of the good things in milk versus not drinking milk at all.

LAUSD did take initiative and eliminate all flavored milks. Meanwhile, however, they stopped serving fresh fruit and served apple juice at lunch to the kids. Does this not make sense? They consider chocolate milk to be bad, but serving apple juice (which has no redeeming quality) is okay? Huh?

In addition to this lack of logic, LAUSD has completely overhauled it's menu and is now serving some very sophisticated cuisine. My daughter does not like the choices offered, most of the time. Many of these dishes sound pretty spicy! While they would appeal to adults, I'm not sure how many of these dishes appeal to six year olds. Here are some of the entrees off of the September lunch menu: Chile Lime Wings, Vegetable Curry, California Sushi Roll, Jamaican Jerk Turkey with Veggies and Brown Rices, Creole Chickpea and Veggie Stew, Caribbean Meatballs, Ancho Chili Chicken with Yakisoba, and Spinach Pinto Beans and Avocado Wrap.

Do these dishes sound tasty to you? I admit, I find many of them appealing. However, LAUSD only charges $1 for the lunch. That scares me. If I'm going to indulge in an exotic lunch such as Ancho Chili Chicken with Yakisoba, I want to be sure the food is made with quality ingredients. I doubt that's happening for the $1 price tag.

Whatever happened to grilled cheese or pizza for school lunch?

I think I'm going to be packing a lot of lunches this year!

Third Most Visited Blog Post

2011-12-28T07:30:00.000-08:00

The third most visited blog post of all time was about sharing other great blogs involving parents who are raising children on the spectrum. I think all these blogs are still going strong! I really need to add to this list and put a blog roll on my blog (New Year's resolution for 2012). Check out these wonderful blogs!

Great Blogs involving Parenting Children with Autism.

The assignment today is writing a post that provides links to other sites. I think this is a fabulous opportunity to share other blogs I read about parenting a child on the spectrum!

Here they are, in no particular order:

The Write Mom for the Job

Adventures in Extreme Parenthood

Airing My Dirty Laundry, One Sock at a Time

Get Over it, I Did

Life with Adrian

Live, Love, Laugh, and Autism

My Life as an Ungraceful, Unhinged, and Unwilling Draftee into the Autism Army

Raising Complicated Kids

Stark. Raving. Mad. Mommy.

The Adventures of JAMC

The Bipolar Diva

The Courageous
O'Connor's

Squidalicious

Stimeyland

The Thinking Person's Guide to Autism

Jenny Alice

Daisy May Fatty Pants

Shannon Des Roches Rosa on BlogHer

Big Daddy Autism

I'm sure I'm leaving off other great ones. I'll add them when I think of them or discover new ones!

Number 4 Most Visited Blog Post

2011-12-27T06:30:00.000-08:00

Number 4 of my most visited blog posts is a fairly recent post. I published this in October of this past year. This post describes a pretty delightful quirk of my daughter that I both enjoy and want to bang my head on the wall about! To be honest, the only reason my it made the top 5 is because BlogHer shared this post on their website. It's amazing how much attention a post receives when BlogHer supports it!

Put Down that Book!

I talk with a lot of the parents at my daughter's school (at least her old school). They generally had the same lament: I wish my kid would read more! I never had that lament. We were supposed to make sure our child read at least 20 minutes a day. I never really kept track of my daughter's reading. I didn't have to. She loves to read and slips it in every chance she gets.

My now 7-year old daughter first showed an interest in books when she was about 2 months old. That's when we first started reading to her, and she loved it! By 15 months, she was able to sight-read a handful of words that I taught her. After awhile, I decided not to push the reading and figured she'd have no problem picking it up on her own. My daughter started to read in earnest when she was a little over 4 years old. Once she started, her reading level grew very fast. A psychologist assessed her reading level about 3 months after she started reading and was surprised to find out that our daughter read at the level of an 8-year old with comprehension at the level of a 6-year old. Not too bad for a 4.5 year old!

This is all great, right? Well it is for the most part. The challenge is that she loves books so much that it can be hard to get her to put a book or magazine down once she starts reading it. Once her nose is buried in a book, she slows down doing everything else. This can be an absolute nightmare when I'm trying to get her to rush out the door to go to school or soccer practice. The only way to get her to hurry up is to get her to put the reading material down.

So, you will find me at various times of the day saying,"We have to go, put the book down! You can read in the car!" "Put that magazine down and eat your dinner before it gets cold!" "Maybe you shouldn't go to the school library at lunch to read and play with friends instead."

The list goes on and on. I think I must be the only mom in the world who actively tells her child NOT to read! When I pointed this out to my husband, he wasn't that happy with me. But it didn't take long before I heard him telling our daughter to put the comic strips down and stop reading so we can get going. Yup, he does it too!

This post is part of the Best of the Best series which this month addresses something that happened that was funny or special.

Number 5 Most Visited Blog Post

2011-12-26T06:12:00.000-08:00

This is my absolute favorite blog post! I published it in July 2010 and am glad it squeaked into the top 5. I was a mess the day I wrote this one and writing the post was extremely cathartic. Certainly any mom can relate, but I'm sure any mom with a child with special needs can really relate!

Inner Demons

My daughter has been totally amazing for about 2 weeks. She was as perfectly-behaved as any child can be. All that ended yesterday when she had the worst tantrum ever. It may not have been the longest one, but it was the most intense. This time, I think the trigger was hunger. She hardly touched her lunch at camp, so all she ate while there was a small bag of crackers.

During the tantrum, she did and said some hurtful things to me. She said that she didn't like me and that she wished she were with her daddy. While the rational me knows that all this is normal during this type of episode, it was still hurtful because it plays with my own inner demons. You know, those thoughts in your head that tell you what a horrible mother you are.

Back in the day, mothers were actually told that their child was autistic because of their poor mothering skills. They failed to provide enough love and interaction during their baby's development thus causing the autism. We know now that is entirely wrong. However, I've heard many a mother of an autistic child complain that when their child tantrums in public, they're met with either judgmental looks or comments. People have actually gone up to them and said things like, "Can't you handle your child?" or "Let me buy her the damn candy bar, if it means that crying would stop!" One friend told me that, while her daughter was having a meltdown in the grocery store, a woman came up and commented that her daughter was a "drama queen." "No," she replied, "my daughter has autism!"

The professionals who provide the autism services can also make comments that make you feel like a less than stellar mother. When I first had my daughter assessed by the school district because I felt that something wasn't right with her, the psychologist actually told me that I had the best girl in the world and that I needed parenting classes. It wasn't until she observed my daughter at her preschool that she called me with an apology and told me I was right about my daughter's autism. Other providers have told me that they wonder if an autistic child is truly autistic or the product of bad parenting. I know my parenting is always being looked at and dissected into pieces.

My daughter used to tantrum every day when I picked her up from preschool because she'd rather stay at school than go home with me. That hurt me on two levels. First, I had to deal with the looks from the other moms who I felt were judging my mothering ability (whether they actually were is probably irrelevant--it's how I felt). Second, I felt inadequate as a mom because my daughter didn't run and give me hugs like the other kids did with their mothers. Instead, she tantrummed as soon as she saw me because she didn't want to go home with me. This hurt my self-esteem. A lot.

This feeds into our own feelings that we caused our child's autism due to our bad parenting. While most of us know, on a rational level, that this isn't the case, I think ALL mothers of autistic children feel this way at some point in time--or at least wonder about it. These are the inner demons that I fight with when my daughter is having a tantrum. It's one that I think all mother's of autistic children deal with.

I wish I could tell those demons to go away. That I'm a loving, caring mother who is doing the best she can. After my daughter's tantrum ended and she ate some food, she told me how sorry she was and how much she loves me. I have to hold on to these moments, and the moments that she's perfectly behaved. It's hard, but I have to tell those inner demons to take a hike!

Vacation All I Ever Wanted...

2011-12-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

I'm taking some time off my blog to spend time with my family! What a concept, right?

I will be posting my top 5 ever blog posts next week. These are the most visited posts since I started my blog. I'll start with number 5 and work backwards until Friday when you'll see the most visited post I've done EVER!

This is so exciting! If you're relatively new to my blog, you might find these interesting. If you're a long-time reader, you might enjoy re-reading these posts!

Have a very happy holiday season and don't hit the eggnog too hard!

Oh, go ahead. Hit the eggnog as hard as you like!

I Think My Daughter's Newest Toy Is on the Spectrum!

2011-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

It's Chanukah time! For those who celebrate, Happy Chanukah! My daughter opened up her first present today and received something she's wanted for months--a green Fijit Friend named Sage. For those of you who aren't familiar with Fijit Friends, they are toys that play interactively with your child. They chat, tell jokes, sing, and dance! My daughter, being an only child without any pets, desperately wants a BFF who can hang with her at home. She wanted Sage to fill those shoes.

While my daughter was playing with Sage, I noticed some things that didn't go very smoothly with the toy. Sage will often ignore what my daughter says and does what she wants. This oftentimes involves asking about the weather. I don't know why Sage has an obsessive need to know what the weather is every few minutes, but it seems odd. Sage also ignores what my daughter wants to do and pushes what she wants to do.

Sage also has an annoying habit of only telling 3 jokes. Before she says it, she always warns that the joke is going to be very funny (it never is). She also will compliment herself after telling the joke, saying that she was hi-larious! Telling knock-knock jokes can be a bit hairy. If Sage doesn't think you say the "Who's there?" part quickly enough, she lectures you on what you're supposed to say.

Also, to be quite honest, all of Sage's comments and questions are very repetitive and sound very unnatural. It's almost as if she learned how to say a few different things in a social skills class to try to get conversation going. It seems as if Sage has taken years of social skill classes to get to the level that she's at.

I suspect that Sage is on the autism spectrum. I think she needs to work with Siri (the iPhone assistant) to improve her communication skills.

Sage is definitely giving my daughter a work-out on flexibility! So far, so good! My daughter's been very patient with Sage!

Hell Hath No Fury...Part Two

2011-12-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

Last week, I blogged about the L.A. Times series on autism. At the time of that post, only two of the four articles had come out. Now, the Times published the other two articles. The third article was called, "Families Cling to the Hope of Autism Recovery." The fourth article was called, "Autism Hidden in Plain Sight."

The third article on families chasing recovery from autism had me seething as much as the first two articles. Essentially, it attacked the primary method of therapy for young children on the spectrum called Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). ABA is widely regarded as the gold standard of treatment in the autism community. It's geared toward younger kids on the spectrum and has been found to be less effective when the kids pass age 7. The article first attacked the study that showed ABA to be effective. It then attacked the the cost of the treatment. The article reported kids receiving the therapy for 40 hours a week at a cost of about $50,000 a year--paid primarily by taxpayers. It gave an example of a girl still receiving ABA at age 14--10 years after she first started. It mentioned that 75 firms in California offer ABA that is mostly funded by taxpayers.

The article stated that some children do well under ABA while others do not. It questioned whether the children who do well really actually had autism to begin with. It also questioned whether these children would have done well without the expensive therapy. It gave examples of four kids who had undergone ABA. One example was a positive one of a child doing well. The other three examples were children who hadn't done as well with ABA.

While the article's writer certainly provides some valid criticisms about ABA, I think he was biased with his presentation of the facts. For one thing, he provided more negative examples of ABA than positive ones. A friend of mine had been interviewed extensively for this article. Her son had done very well with ABA and has been considered recovered. She emailed many of us to tell us that there was a very good chance her son would be in the article. Yet, this second positive example the writer had obtained was left out of the article completely. This alone biases the article, in my opinion.

But the main area of bias is that he leaves a lot of facts out in general. If I was somebody ignorant about autism issues, I would be furious after reading this article. It implies that kids receive $50,000 in services each year whether or not they're improving. It shows the ABA providers as making oodles of money off of a gullible population that is looking for anything to "cure" their kids. But this isn't the case at all! There are big checks and balance in the system to be sure that taxpayer money isn't being squandered. None of this is mentioned in the article, however.

For example, the Regional Centers provide funding for ABA therapies. As I mentioned in my last post, they do their own assessments for autism before providing funding for services. They have the reputation for being particularly strict in letting kids into the system. Once in, parents go through orientation and training. At the orientation, they tell parents about the limits of ABA. They warn us that the kids will receive 3 years of ABA at most and many will not receive this service after they turn 7. We are told that parents will be trained in ABA techniques so they will be able to continue on their own.

Once an ABA agency starts the therapies, they assess the child to determine what is needed to be done and the hours needed per week to accomplish the goals. The work in conjunction with Regional Center. If Regional Center things the number of hours is too high, they'll lower them. The article implies that all kids receive 40 hours a week, but this isn't the case. In fact, I haven't heard of any child receiving that many. I'm sure some do, but it's rare. In my daughter's case, she never had more than 9 hours a week. This was cut down after a month to 8 hours. She received ABA for only a year and it averaged about 7 hours a week.

One key aspect of ABA that the writer failed to describe is that the therapist keeps a lot of data on how the child is responding to treatment. This provides feedback to the therapist on the child's progress. It also gives great data to the ABA agency and Regional Center on when services can be cut down or eliminated entirely.

Another key point left out of the article is that the ABA providers (and other providers such as speech therapy and occupational therapy) live in fear of losing their contracts with Regional Center. If they are cut, they lose their business. Because of this, they have an incentive to cut the children from their services earlier rather than later. In fact, I feel that they are sometimes too aggressive! The agency that provided a social skills class that my daughter attended wanted to cut her after two cycles because they thought Regional Center doesn't let them provide more than that. In their report, they wrote that my daughter achieved one of her three goals, while making good progress toward the other two goals. They then recommended cutting her from the class. Huh? I called the Regional Center Coordinator to tell then I didn't think the recommendation made sense with the rest of the report. I told her that the agency made the recommendation based on the two cycle rule, and they did this out of fear of losing their contract. The Service Coordinator told me she thought the recommendation seemed odd and felt my daughter should get more social skills classes. She contacted the agency to discuss this and told them they were cutting kids too aggressively. My daughter stayed on for the additional cycle, met her goals, then was cut.

For these reasons, I don't feel the L.A. Times article really painted a balanced picture. I know ABA can work. The first day my daughter did it, she was forever a changed girl.

Surprisingly, I have no criticisms of the fourth article. It discussed how many adults are living with autism and don't even know it because identification was so poor in past generations. It talked about the costs of they adults being institutionalized or of not living up to their full potential. It speculated what the world would have been like for them if they had help and appropriate therapies when they were younger.

I felt this article was totally counter to the tone and message of the three earlier articles. I do think costs for treating autism can run high. These treatments do help many, but they don't help everybody. Nevertheless, I feel the costs are a great investment and save money in the long run. Because of tight budgets, I don't think money is squandered often on therapies that aren't helping a child.

I hope and pray that the first three articles do not create a backlash against any child receiving any kind of therapy due to the cost. The reality is far different than what the L.A. Times article suggests.