Letting Children Know We Love Them

Our children and grandchildren are special to us, and we often take that for granted.  Remember that ad campaign, “Have you hugged your child today”.  The premise is a great one… we need to show and express our love all the time. Busy lives and the day to day challenges take precedent sometimes and we simply forget.  How about trying these ideas with your family today:

• Give everyone a hug as they leave to start their day with an “I love you.”
• When packing lunches slip in a note of encouragement or love. It could be, ‘good luck with the test today’, or ‘I think you’re special’.  Write it in your handwriting and maybe add a little drawing.
• Have a little snack in the car for after-school, something simple and sure to bring a smile.  Tell them I’ve brought you a surprise.
• Touch someone. Just a touch says so much and can mean more in terms of positive reinforcement than just about anything else.
• At the end of the day, take a few minutes to sit down with a child or partner and ask how his or her day was. Let them know you’re interested by giving them eye contact and your full attention.
• Compliment your child in front of others, maybe at the dinner table or at a gathering. You want to show how proud you are of him or her and let others know how you feel too.

When you tune into the idea of sharing the love, you can find so many simple ways to pass the message along. It need not involve gifts or heart and flowers. This is about letting someone know they are special. Why wait for another 365 days to show your child how much he or she means to you?  Get out the heart shaped cookie cutter and make little mini pb & j sandwiches for fun. Draw a heart, share a memory, color with bright red.  Let your love shine.  Not only are you giving a gift but you’ll find the hugs and smiles you receive are more precious than any Valentine’s Day card.

photo: din! at Flickr

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Does your baby or young toddler get skin rashes? It’s not uncommon for infants to have sensitive skin; it’s up to you, as the parent to treat delicate skin and know when to seek medical treatment.

We live in a world of fragrances and additives which may cause your infant’s sensitive skin to develop a reaction. Fortunately, the organic movement provides parents with many options to keep baby’s skin free from irritation. If you see signs of rash or irritation, look at common products you use for the baby and see if switching to a product with fewer chemical additives makes a difference.

Things Which Contribute to Skin Rashes on Infants and Toddlers

• Flame-retardant or synthetic baby clothing
• Baby wipes which contain fragrances or alcohol
• Sunscreen
• Anti-bacterial soaps
• Fabric softeners
• Harsh household chemicals

(Source: Common Causes of Skin Rashes)

Another cause of skin rashes is overwashing.  Your baby does not need a bath every day, nor does she need to be scrubbed with soaps, and never with an adult soap. Try to use soapy water, instead of applying soap to the washcloth.  To wash a baby’s face simply use warm water and a baby washcloth.

It is important to keep babies from sitting too long in wet diapers, as wet skin can develop diaper rash.  Changing diapers more frequently, letting the baby ‘air-dry’, and using diaper rash ointment if needed, will help avoid or eliminate the irritation. Extreme heat or overdressing can also cause children to break out in a heat rash. If your baby develops dry, flaky skin use a moisturizer formulated for babies, preferably one that contains few or no artificial ingredients.

Baby bedding can be a culprit sometimes.  Avoid using scented laundry products and consider buying organic baby sheets and blankets. They have the added benefit of a chemical-free production as well as feeling soft and natural against your little one’s skin. Little Butterfly Kiss carries a full line of organic products for infants.

It’s important for you to watch skin rashes carefully. Rashes that last a long time,  look excessively red and inflamed, or begin to ooze should be examined by your pediatrician.

Are there products you’ve used for infants with sensitive skin you would recommend?

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I had fond memories of Raffi and other child oriented musicians when I started on this quest, trying to find music for the kids’ holiday road trip. All I found were Sesame Street and Disney productions along with no name compilations. I settled on one of the no-name collections because it had the ‘old-timey’ music I remember growing up on… the music I sang to my children.

Songs I can recall and still sing:

• Frere Jacques
• Ring-a-Round the Rosies
• Erie Canal (my sister’s favorite childhood song)
• B-I-N-G-O
• When You Wish Upon a Star
• Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star
• It’s a Small World

I could go on and on. The songs are old ones, passed down from generation to generation. They have sticking power. I’m dubious about the longevity of some of the songs we’re hearing today. My granddaughters can sing along with Dora the Explorer, and I guess that’s good if it encourages them to listen and learn music.  And, of course there are the songs from Sesame Street-my personal favorite is anything The Count is singing. But it’s the nursery rhymes I remember and the sweet lullabys.

Music can be so soothing as well as energizing. Bedtime music played as you’re getting everyone ready to settle in becomes the signal for little bodies and brains to slow down. There is learning music like the A-B-C songs, or counting songs. The Baby Genius series has thematic cds to be used as learning tools. And, of course there is classical music, which I probably first heard on a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Music has the ability to transport, to teach, to relax, to excite and to spur us on creatively. What’s your favorite children’s song? Do you sing with your kids?

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Alisa Bowman, writer and new mom, shares, with humor and poignancy, the problems her marriage suffered in her book Project: Happily Ever After. It seems that things went awry right as she was at the end of her pregnancy. And, it went downhill from there. On the night she was discharged from the hospital, still sore from the Caesarian delivery, her husband was attending a party at his new retail business. And, to add insult to injury it was her birthday.

The book takes us through the first years of her baby’s life, as Alisa struggles to keep up with the demands of her writing career, a new baby, a difficult and aggressive dog,  and a husband who is rarely at home. When she beings to plan his funeral, Alisa realizes it’s time to work on saving the marriage. For much of the story it appears to be a solo project.

I was struck by the fact that her husband saw very little need to assist during the early days after childbirth. When confronted, he said that he didn’t think she needed help… because she didn’t ask. It was one of those silent scream moments. Alisa reads a slew of self-help books and cajoles her husband into trying the various suggestions for reviving their marriage. They learn to talk to each other, with “I” statements, they take a trip together  for a sexy get-away and they renew their vows in a private ceremony. By the end of the book, Alisa is living pretty happily ever after. And, she offers tips on how we too, can help brighten up a difficult marriage.

A new baby is a precious bundle of joy but he or she is also a major drain our our energies.  I wonder how many dads out there are pitching in? From my personal opinion, I think dad ought to be able to figure out that mom is exhausted after 2 or 3 middle of the night feedings, diaper changes and constant attention to the needs of a newborn. But, if they’re not getting it, what are you going to do?

Parents-to-be need to spend some time talking about expectations and responsibilities early in the pregnancy. And, that should involve being very honest about what you as mom, or you as dad want to see happen. It’s so easy when breastfeeding, for dad to feel pretty left out and lacking a major role in childrearing. You’ll need to help him finds ways to engage with your new son or daughter.

Life changes for a new mother in ways that are hard to articulate and even harder for a father to comprehend. When you add up hormones, milk production, the ‘maternal instinct’ and the changes in jobs or routine that come with parenting an infant it is an enormous physical and emotional change.  A new mother needs all the support she can get-without having to ask for it.

Alisa and her family survived those emotionally charged years, as most of us do. But, it is often a challenging time for her. Even though the book is complete, and her ‘project’ is done, she still writes about marriage.  Her blog, Project: Happily Ever After was named one of the top 10  marriage blogs of 2009.

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It’s not to say that child sexual abuse wasn’t happening in the 50′s and 60′s, but it was less widely publicized and we were not as aware or as vigilant. Today, with over 700,000 convicted sex offenders, we have seen a change in the public understanding of sexual abuse.  And, that comes with fear and overreacting at times. Mandated reporters of child sexual abuse take their responsibility very seriously and many are likely to err on the side of over reacting

And, for a couple in Utah who took a photo of their naked baby and one of daddy kissing the naked baby, the vigilance of a photo technician led to legal troubles for an innocent family. The photo tech reported the photos and the family to the local police. But was he wrong to do so? Wasn’t it important that he show awareness for the potential for abuse? Where do we draw the line. In this case it was an innocent mistake, but the authorities stepped in and removed the child from the family during the investigation.

The laws that define child pornography vary from state to state and often are highly restrictive in what can be displayed.  The definition of what constitutes a pornographic photo may be just the kind of photo we’ve naively taken as a cute picture of our child or grandchild.

But, should we really be posting those kinds of photos on the internet? On Facebook?  It is definitely going to embarrass our child some years later to see such a photo. And, there is a distinct possibility that a pedophile is going to find some of these photos and see them with a very different purpose than what you intended. Pictures put up on blogs, like this one, are ‘captured’ by Google search engines and can turn up in random image searches. Would you want some stranger downloading photos of your toddler getting out of the bathtub? Or wandering around your yard naked? No, of course not.

MSNBC posted an article on this topic recently, citing situations where parents found themselves subjects of a criminal investigation for normal family photos. Such an incident can ruin lives, and while it may seem excessive we do have real parents committing crimes against their children. We have to endure these risks as a part of helping raise awareness and eliminating child sexual abuse.

“What [parents] might think are normal pictures could be seen the wrong way,” says Amy Adler, the Emily Kempin professor of law at New York University. “As a legal matter parents should be extremely cautious. I hate that. I think it is a shame.”

I have to disagree, there is too much inappropriate nudity in this world as it is. There are plenty of photo ops of our children that don’t include nudity. If we take photos of our families in revealing situations, we need to keep them private.  Social media, for all it’s benefits, has a very nasty downside if used inappropriately. There’s much we can’t control once we’ve put information out there for others to see, as parents we have an obligation to protect our children.

What do you think? How do we preserve the natural beauty of our bodies and a healthy expression of ourselves, without putting our children at risk? Do you think it’s going too far to post photos of your nude children on the internet?

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Over the last several months I’ve written a number of articles on our boutique and the items we carry. Here’s a list of these posts for you to check out and get some baby gift ideas.

• When is a Purse Not a Purse? When It’s a Diaper Bag-  Our newest collection from OiOi is featured here.

• Gift Ideas for New Moms- Ideas for pampering a  new mom with unusual treats.

• How to Choose a Unique Baby Gift – Suggestions for gifts from Little Butterfly Kiss as well as other ideas.

• Organic Gifts for Your Baby-  We have a great selection of baby blankets and bedding in sumptuous organic cottons.

• Nursing Covers for Practical, Stylish Breastfeeding- Our nursing covers come in great colors and fun patterns.

• Infant Car Seat Covers Rock! Who Knew- Car Seat covers.

• Fun New Cotton Tale Design Items for the Nursery-  Cotton Tale is one of the tops brands, this post reviews some of our cutest baby bedding and accessories.

If you have any questions, drop us a line or call and one of the staff members will be happy to help you. And, happy shopping!

Walker

photo by Dave416, Flickr.com

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Toy Fair 2010 is a huge event for retailers,  setting  the trends for the year in toys for various age groups. Who would have thought that out of 1200 companies showing off their wares, we’d be going retro?

Babble, a website dedicated to children and parenting chose their fav five after attending the show!  I thought you might get some holiday gift ideas, or at least an idea of what is trending right now. Their first toy is so retro that I’m a little surprised. It’s a $69 dancing Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse starred in his first film, a silent film by Walt Disney in 1928. And, he’s still here-albeit with a few hip swinging moves and an up to date music selection. As I read the description I found it more appealing than I would have thought. But, I have no intention of spending that kind of money for a mouse that does James Brown vocals and moves. Really. (Now maybe for my 29 year old!)

Another one of the choices is something from my children’s childhood as well. A Thomas the Tank Power Wheels. I like this much better than the older version of Power Wheels, the low slung racy looking bike we used to have. Thomas is battery-operated!  Apparently Thomas is back with his own TV show, which does retain some of the simplicity of the original book.

My favorite of the list is the Harley Davidson Roaring Rocker- it’s a rocking horse! A purple and black, and chrome of course, model designed for your budding biker kid! This cutie is about $150 and comes with a ‘sound’ version  or one that makes no noises. I”m trying to envision my mother buying one of these for her grandchildren? Just can’t see it.

All of these toys are touted as the next biggest thing in trends for this holiday season. Or at least a few of them are. And, it sets off that gotta-have-it mentality. I do recall one year when we searched high and low for the one gift my son was so eager to have. And, it was not an easy chore, though ultimately we found it in a second hand store. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from the Ghostbuster movie- he absolutely had to have it.  Other than that one toy, I’ve never spent time trying to find a specific gift or stood in line at the toy store waiting to buy a particular item. And I don’t intend to start now.

The website has lists for other age groups as well and an interesting selection of comments on the toys which is fun reading.

How will you handle the must-have toy? Are you already seeing lists and requests for certain toys for your little ones? I’d love to hear how your family handles the giving of presents for children.

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I’m making a pledge this year to not buy plastic. By that I mean that I won’t be buying synthetic, breakable toys, but I also define the word ‘plastic’ as fake, overly marketed and commercialized toys.  When I go out to buy toys for the kids, I will look at wooden toys and educational toys as possibilities. Though now days there are so many ‘make-em-smarter’ toys masquerading as educational, which are really thinly veiled children’s shows tie-ins (Dora pops to mind).

I think that a two year old and a four year old should be encouraged to explore and play without any pressure to “learn”. They don’t need that pressure, not yet. I want toys that offer wide open possibilities for creative play. And, I prefer gender-neutral toys.

I’ve got a few ideas but I’m going to have to do some browsing and thinking about this soon. By Black Friday the stores are in a frenzy and I prefer not to shop at that point.

Creative and Fun Toys for Young Children On My List

• Furniture for a doll house-they just got a doll house so this would be fun. I wonder how to make that gender neutral?
• Books – always. I love to give books and wrote about my holiday favorites recently.
• A train table – I have the Brio train set of their father’s for them to play with here at my house.
• Jigsaw puzzles, one of my favorite recreational pastimes. This one from Melissa and Doug might be perfect for the younger one
• A bead set, for the older grandchild. Beads are fun and these cute Melissa and Doug beads are big enough for little fingers.
• A video of a child-friendly nature show. I don’t know what that might be yet, but it would be different from the typical kiddie movies.
• A door placard- it’s needlepoint, with a cute pink and purple heart and the word Love. I stitched it myself, just for the two of them. It’s cute and bright and something they won’t really appreciate now but in later years…hopefully.

And, while this isn’t something I can wrap up or adequately express to a two year old, the gift of my time and love.  I want to create the kind of memories I have of growing up.  I want to be the kind of grandmother who reads them books, and sets them up at the kitchen sink with a sink full of water and toys for play without worrying about the splashing. I want to teach them to cook with me, helping decorate cookies and plan our family meals. I’ll sit with them as they play in the sandbox I bought this summer and we’ll take walks through the woods.  Those are the kinds of gifts that you won’t see on TV or in the stores-but they are the best gifts of all.

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In the book I’m reading right now there is an aloof, self-absorbed mother, a two year old, and their  perceptive maid. The maid (the book is set in the Deep South in the 60′s) has set a goal of making her young charge feel loved. Every day she tells the little girl, You are kind. You are loved. You are beautiful.  It’s sad that this love is coming from someone other than the parent, but at least this child has someone offering her affirming words.

When was the last time you told your child you loved her? I don’t do it as often now that my children are adults, they’re men and that kind of language is a little too sentimental for them to hear too often. Because I grew up in a family that didn’t display emotion, verbally or physically, I knew  I wanted to change that with my own children so I made sure to show lots of  love and affection.

I tell my granddaughters all the time how smart and funny, how sweet, how helpful they are. I don’t use the ‘pretty’ word as much as looks aren’t the most important message I want them to have. But, I do love the feeling that I’ve praised them.  We all need it, even now.  From our partners, family, bosses and co-workers and  it just doesn’t happen often enough.

The way we talk to our children is so important as are the words we use. I think we often fail to hear ourselves or understand  what message we’ve just passed on in a moment of frustration, anger, or fear. There’s all the difference in the world between calling a child “bad boy” versus saying, “no, we don’t color on the living room wall. “  Addressing the behavior not the individual puts the focus in the right place.  And, even better would be the moment where you can catch him playing nicely and walk in the room with an unexpected compliment of how well he’s behaving.

We know our children are smart and wonderful individuals, we just have to make sure we tell them. Words mean everything.

Listen to this Stevie Wonder  song, its got a great message;  I Just Called To Say I Love You.

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Christmas and Hanukkah share a few things in common; they both are based on religious traditions. Both holidays feature an element of gift giving and have become commercialized over the years. Christmas in particular has become a huge glitzy marketing event that threatens to overwhelm its religious significance.

One way to help young children understand the true meaning of the holiday is through books. There are many wonderful books available to help explain religious observations to children in a way that even the youngest can follow. If you’ve got a toddler in the house you can use reading time to teach little ones about your religious observances.

Christmas Books:

• Christmas in the Manger (Board Book) by Nola Buck. This is a simple book designed for young children and focused on the birth of Jesus.
• Who Is Coming to Our House (Board Book) by Joseph Slate. A story of the animals cleaning the stable for the arrival of Mary and Joseph. It doesn’t really focus on the birth of Jesus, so without some prior understanding little ones might not pick up on the significance. Nice warm illustrations, realistic.
• My First Christmas by Tomie dePaola.  The book is out of stock in some big retailers, but dePaola’s illustrations and simple stories make it worth seeking out.
• Dream Snow by Eric Carle. This is a story of a man, vaguely reminiscent of Santa wishing for snow; it’s not a religious story.
• Room for a Little One, A Christmas Tale by Martin Waddell. This book focuses on the animals, especially the donkey carrying Mary. It’s simply told with a nice focus on the baby Jesus.
• Christmas by Peter Spiers. One of my favorites, there are no words, just pages of wonderfully detailed pictures. It is more about the tree and presents and togetherness than the religious celebration.

Hanukkah Books:

• Hanukkah Moon by Deborah Costa. This book blends traditional American observation with those of Hispanic Jews, from the point of  view of a young girl visiting her aunt.
• Light the Candles, A Hanukkah Lift-the Flap Book by Joan Holub. Using the eight candles, each day talks about different traditional Jewish rituals.
• My First Chanukah by Tomie dePaola. This is a beginning book for the very young with simple, almost primitive illustrations.
• Light The Lights! A story about Hanukkah and Christmas by Margaret  Moorman. This is a secular story about a family celebrating both holidays.
• The Borrowed Hanukkah Latke by Linda Glaser and Nancy Cote. Rachel’s family is preparing for an evening of latkes with guests. Every year, they invite their elderly neighbor to come, but she stubbornly refuses. This year, Rachel is even more stubborn, and the little girl cleverly comes up with a way to get her involved.
• Chanukah Bugs, A Pop-Up Celebration by David A. Carter. Children three and up will be delighted by this colorful pop-up book on each of the eight nights of Chanukah. Featured are Shammash Bug, Dizzy Dreidel Bug and many others. Each page is a gift box just waiting to pop open and reveal a surprise.

Do you have a favorite holiday book you’d like to share with us?

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