Little Nuances

35 Suggestions for Married Guys on Valentine's Day

2010-02-08T11:01:00.005-06:00

Last year about this time, I jokingly made some suggestions to a friend of mine on my bowling team about things he could do for his wife on Valentine's Day -- which you have to admit is pretty funny coming from a single guy.

Those suggestions sort of took on a life of their own as the guys on my bowling team laughed about them. Last week, the guy I made the suggestions to told me I needed to write them down. So, I did. I came up with a list of 35 things and I plan to give it to him tonight. He'll die laughing when he reads them.

Humorous or not, I think the ideas have merit. Most aren't original, but then again, what is?

Here's the list:

1. Pull out your high school yearbooks, look for pictures of each other, reminisce about your life before each other and talk about what you envisioned your family life to be like one day.

2. Prepare a mix CD of her favorite tunes, open a bottle of wine, turn down the lights, and dance with her in the living room as her favorite songs fill the air.

3. Write her a love letter telling her how lucky are to have her in your life.

4. Write her a poem that mentions everything you love about her. It can’t start with or include the phrase, “Roses are red, violets are blue.”

5. Go to the old market, rent a horse and buggy and go for a ride. Part way through, pull out her favorite poem and read it to her. Note: This only works if it is above 70 degrees—which isn’t likely in February. So, save this one for later in the year.

6. Send her a sing-o-gram. Make sure you wrote the lyrics of the song. And make sure the dude who sings the lyrics is uglier than you are or just perform the sing-o-gram for her yourself.

7. Watch her favorite movie with her and cry at all the lovey dovey stuff.

8. Give her a foot massage.

9. Take one of her grandmother’s old pieces of jewelry in and get it repaired—then present it to her on Valentine’s Day.

10. Buy a box of Valentine’s Day cards that kids always get and write something you love about her on each one and leave them all over the house—in her car, in the bathroom, in her purse, etc. so she’ll find them throughout the day. (Minimum of 25 cards.)

11. Cook her favorite meal (it’s okay to get a little help from someone if you need it).

12. Take her out to eat at the place you took her on your first date.

13. Write her a letter detailing everything you can remember about your first date.

14. Write her a letter detailing the moment you knew you were going to marry her.

15. Send her red roses—one for each year you’ve been married.

16. Bring her breakfast in bed.

17. Go through your wedding photo album and share stories about the people and the moment captured in each photo.

18. Have your wedding video converted to digital format, then do a voice over detailing everything you remember about each moment. Tell her how much you couldn’t wait for the minister to pronounce you man and wife.

19. Get down on one knee and tell her you’d do it all again.

20. Prepare a photo album with snippets of your life together and write a paragraph under each photo about how magical those memories are to you.

21. Sit down and talk about having a dream vacation for your second honeymoon. Then make it happen.

22. Write new wedding vows and recite them to her.

23. Buy a copy of the book, Love in the Time of Cholera and write your name and phone number on the first blank page. Then watch the movie Serendipity with her. After it is over, hand her a gift wrapped copy of the book and as she opens the package, makes sure she sees your name and number and then tell her she’s still the one.

24. Call a radio station and dedicate her favorite song to her.

25. Carve your initials and hers in a tree in your front or back yard. Then carve a heart around it. (Tip: if she’s a tree hugger, don’t do this one—she might freak out.)

26. Name a star after her. Then write a poem about how your love for her is out of this world.

27. Buy the book The Love Dare and begin to work your way through it.

28. Create a time capsule of your life together and bury it somewhere with plans to open it on another Valentine’s Day ten or twenty years into the future.

29. Find out what her favorite book was when she was growing up. Then find a first edition and present it to her.

30. Reminisce about your song (every couple should have a song)—how you picked it, why the song suits you as a couple, etc.

31. If you don’t already have a song, spend some choosing one.

32. If she’s a NASCAR fan, watch the Daytona 500 together. What could be more romantic than “boogity, boogity, boogity” and bump drafting?

33. Make a video using pictures and videos of your life together, doing voiceovers that describe how much each event means to you.

34. Ask to see her bucket list. Make one of her highest items on the list happen.

35. Ask her about her favorite outdoor hideaway spot when she was a girl, then promise to take her there for a picnic lunch when the weather clears up.

Super Bowl Commercials

2010-02-07T20:57:00.001-06:00

I’ve never been much of a Super Bowl commercial guy – usually because I’m watching the game with friends or loved ones and the commercials are the perfect time for bathroom breaks, refills on beverages and getting more chips.

This year though, I watched the game by myself. And I had Twitter up while I was watching it, so it was fun to see a running commentary on the game and the commercials. I kept track of the commercials I wanted to comment on.

Here’s the list:

The Doritos bark collar commercial was clever. Animal commercials are the ones we remember and talk about.

The GoDaddy.com commercial showing Danica Patrick being massaged by a woman who wants to be a GoDaddy girl was ridiculous. Bob Parsons reminds me of Larry Flynt.

The Doritos commercial with the little boy slapping his mom’s date was the funniest commercial of the night in my opinion.

The Doritos casket commercial was sort of funny, but what happened to the TV the guy was watching in the casket after he rolled out of it? The TV was gone.

The Budweiser commercial with the bridge made out of people didn’t do it for me.

The David Letterman, Oprah Winfrey and Lay Leno commercial for the Late Show was kind of funny, although I didn’t understand why Winfrey was there. Any time you can get Letterman and Leno in the same room makes for interesting conversation. And, as many people pointed out on Twitter, how bad must things be at NBC for Leno to appear on a commercial for CBS?

The CareerBuilder.com commercial in which everybody appears in their underwear because it is casual Friday was just weird.

The Wear the Pants Dockers commercial kind of creeped me out. A bunch of dudes marching around in a field in their underwear is the best they could do? Really?

The Dove for Men commercial that began with swimming sperm cells was a failure from the beginning; just a terrible commercial that made little sense.

The Dodge Charger “Man’s Last Stand” commercial made fun of grown up men when the dude utters, in part, “I will take your call. I will listen to your opinion of my friends. I will listen to your friends’ opinion of my friends. I will be civil to your mother. I will put the seat down. I will separate the recycling. I will carry your lip balm. I will watch your Vampire TV shows with you. I will take my socks off before getting into bed. I will put my underwear in the basket (again with the underwear?). And because I do this, I will I will drive the car that I want to drive.” You are civil to your wife because you are setting the stage to drive a certain car? Really?

The Dr. Pepper KISS commercial was bizarre and I just didn’t get it.

The TruTV commercial with Punxsutawney Polamalu was funny. I love the fact that Troy Polamalu can laugh at himself.

The FloTV commercial in which Jim Nance comments about a man whose girlfriend has removed his spine rendering him incapable of watching the game was supposed to be funny; I didn’t find it to be so.

The Intel commercial with the offended robot – didn’t get it really.

The Volkswagen slug bug commercial was a brilliant use of an age old game. Although I don’t remember actually slugging anybody when we saw a Volkswagen drive by like the participants in the commercial did. We simply said, “Slug bug green” or “Slug bug red” or whatever color the car was.

The Denny’s Grand Slam commercial showing the chickens freaking out over the upcoming free Grand Slam breakfasts was funny. It’s hard to mess up an animal commercial.

I liked the HomeAway.com commercial with the Griswolds in which Clark complains about hotel charges. Can’t get enough of the Griswolds.

The “Your Bridgestone tires or your life” commercial in which the man in the car misunderstands the bandit as saying “wife” instead of life: stupid.

The eTrade commercial showing two babies on webcams: creepy.

The Census 2010 commercial couldn’t have been a more confusing, jumbled mess. On Twitter, @uscensusbureau, in an apparent decision to defend their decision to spend more than $2 million of your money on the ad said, “If 1% of folks watching #SB44 change mind and mail back #2010Census form, taxpayers save $25 million in follow up costs.” I responded by saying, “What if 1% change their mind in the other direction because they see the ad as a confusing, jumbled mess?”

The Google commercial was effective. Nearly anything the user entered into the search engine came up with solid results. That’s not quite how it happens when you really use the product, but there’s a reason Google has become a verb.

The Dante’s Inferno game commercial ended with the tag line “Hell awaits.” Nice.

The Budweiser ad with the horse and steer was cute.

The Audi “Green Police” commercial makes me want to get plastic next time I’m in the grocery store; and it makes me never want to buy an Audi. Can you tell I’m against a police state.

The Doritos commercial where the dude uses a Dorito as a ninja star was comical.

The Bud Light commercial about the book club with the dudes who are unread morons didn’t do much for me.

The GoDaddy.com “Too Hot for TV?” commercial was ridiculous. Noticing a theme with their commercials yet?

Which commercials did you enjoy most? Which ones annoyed you?

Oh, by the way, the game itself was awesome. The Saints won their first Super Bowl.

Salinger, Change and Generalizations

2010-02-02T12:15:00.001-06:00

Last week, I took some books to a used bookstore to cash them in. While one of the clerks was evaluating them, the clerk at the front desk asked the other clerks, and everybody else within earshot, “Hey, did you hear J.D. Salinger died today?”

Some said no, some said yes.

One of the clerks offered an opinion to a customer he was talking to, “J.D. Salinger never wrote anything that changed anybody's life. And he butchered the language.” He repeated himself, almost as if to convince himself.

“Not a fan, huh?” the customer asked.

“No. He just never wrote anything that changed anybody’s life.”

I have never read The Catcher in the Rye. I don’t know much about Salinger – other than the fact that he’s kept a low profile for a long time. (According to this article, I’m not sure he could be considered a recluse.) But I had a hard time believing that his writing never changed anybody’s life.

And what exactly does that mean? I’ve read essays, articles and white papers that have changed my perspective. Last summer I read a white paper called “The Missional Church” by Tim Keller. In it he makes a point about a British missionary who went to India in 1950 who returned home 30 years later to discover that the culture had changed but the church had not. It was still operating with a 50s mentality.

One of the many problems with that mentality is, relatively few people outside the church can relate to a 50s culture inside the church. But rather than adapt, the church has created Christian sub-cultures in an attempt to maintain a culture that no longer exists. Such sub-cultures are relatively unknown to the culture at large. And that seems counter productive to taking the gospel to the masses.

I’ve believed most of this for a long time, but I never connected the dots until I read that white paper. As a result of this, I am engaging culture differently. I find myself being for more tolerant. I find myself processing culture differently. I find myself engaged rather than detached.

Did that white paper change my life? By definition, change can be as small as a slight alteration of course or as big as a total transformation. I don’t know where this fits on the scale, but I don’t really care. Most change is subtle anyway.

Giving the clerk at the bookstore the benefit of the doubt, I think he was saying Salinger’s work never transformed anybody. I don’t know how he knows this, but when I got home I did a little research to find out if anybody has been writing about the ways in which Salinger’s writing might have changed them.

I found a number of comments online from people who did indeed say his writing changed them. I don’t really understand the context of their comments because, again, I’ve never read anything by Salinger. I need to change that, by the way. But I was easily convinced that the clerk was wrong – even if he was referring to change in the transformational sort of way.

I don't want to start a debate about Salinger's work and the way it did or did not change people or whether that change was good or bad. Instead, this incident was just another reminder to be careful about making broad generalizations.

Considering a Kindle

2010-01-29T06:28:00.004-06:00

Many years ago, on a blog that no longer exists, I wrote a post about "Picard Syndrome." I wish I still had access to that post, but it wouldn't matter because my conclusions would be dated.

Yesterday, after having a conversation with someone via Twitter and then with a friend via email, I remembered Picard Syndrome and I googled the phrase and found this interesting blog post about it.

Picard Syndrome got it's name from Gary North who wrote an essay titled as such, maybe seven or eight years ago. The syndrome is named after Picard from Star Trek: The Next Generation (which I've never seen). One character reads digital books, but Picard is still enamored with bound books.

I've felt this way myself for the first 42 years of my life. I'm 43 now.

When I first heard about the Kindle, I was intrigued. But it looked bulky. Would I really sit in my recliner with an electronic gadget and read a book on it? Could I ever get used to that? And what about the smell? I love the way books smell.

Along came the Sony e-Reader and the Nook.

And then yesterday, we had the announcement that the iPad was coming soon. I saw one person on Twitter pronounce the death of the Kindle. You can read many similar pronouncements in this article.

I have no idea if the iPad will kill the Kindle. I can only speak for myself. For the first time since e-readers became available, I'm thinking seriously about getting one. And my first choice would be a Kindle.

As I write this post, I'm look around at the walls of my house -- nearly all of which are filled with bookshevles full of books. In fact, last night I took some to a local bookstore to cash them in. I have between 500-1,000 books. A Kindle2 holds 1,500 books. Much like my iPod made CDs a thing of the past because it allowed me to carry all of my music around in my pocket, the Kindle could do the same thing for me. Although I doubt that I"ll ever really replace every bound book. It would be difficult, logistically speaking, and impractical.

You can see where I'm going with that though. Why tie up so much space in my home when conceivably I could take some of it back by simply using an e-reader in which I could store more books than I currently own?

But what about the feel and smell of books?

I'm starting to believe both are over rated.

A couple of years ago, I edited a novel for a publishing company. They sent it to me in a .pdf file and I printed it -- all 500 or so pages. Five pages into the novel I was completely engrossed in the story. I didn't miss out on the experience. It was a great book even though it wasn't bound and printed.

Whenever I buy a book, I look through the stack of that particular title for the one in the best physical condition -- no blemishes on the book cover, no visible dent marks, no bent pages, no pages with lighter printing than other pages, etc. The truth is, nearly ever book I've ever purchased has a blemish somewhere. I just don't see it right away. Sometimes the binding breaks, sometimes the paper doesn't feel right, sometimes the book doesn't even smell like a book.

We like the notion of feel and smell, but in reality, neither offer a pure experience. In a sense, I've treated bound books like I do with a lot of things in life I over romanticize. Books are about information and/or entertainment. Information and entertainment happen as a result of the words in the book, not the packaging.

#97 Family Videos

2010-01-28T06:45:00.014-06:00

Continuing with the 100 life-enriching little nuances series…

On Christmas Day in 1996, my family on my dad’s side opened gifts at my grandmother’s house.

Grandma had one of those huge camcorders that looked like something a news crew might use (pretty much like the one pictured) while covering a breaking story. I used it to record our gift exchange.

The minute the final gift was opened, my dad waded up some gift wrapping paper and fired it at his wife. She returned fire, and it was on. My brother, Mark, didn’t need any more incentive than that and he joined the fight.

"Grandma, I got a Nintendo!" my niece said, not caring that her family was throwing wadded up gift wrapping paper at each other.

Dad fired at one of my sisters. She objected, playfully, but to no avail. Then it became every man for himself. At one point, my brother launched one at me and it hit the camera.

“Hey!” I said, not having a dog in the hunt.

Dad re-focused his attention on his wife, even calling out to my brother for reinforcement.

“Get her Mark!” Dad said. “I’ll get her from this side and you get her from that side.”

My grandma, watched from a chair across the room with a smile on her face. She was the queen of horseplay, so she must have felt like the baton had been passed on to next few generations.

I checked with my family yesterday and they are fine with me sharing a clip from the video:

I watched the video again yesterday several times and it brought a huge smile to my face. I can’t imagine not having access to it, or any other videos I recorded over the years. It is so much better than my memory. The videos captures hair styles, clothing, laughter, mannerisms – the things I may have forgotten.

Obviously, technology has changed since 1996. I have never bought a camcorder myself, but I have had several digital cameras that record video and I’ve recorded dozens if not hundreds of family functions over the years.

Yesterday, I saw a flip digital camcorder for $46.00. I didn’t buy it because I don’t know enough about digital camcorders yet to know if that particular one would have been any better than the video I can shoot with my digital camera, but once I’m convinced, I will buy one.

And years from now, no matter where I am or what I am doing, I’ll be able to click the play button on those videos and they will transport me back to another era.

Other posts in this series:

An Afternoon at Panera Bread

2010-01-27T06:59:00.001-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Panera Bread to work on an editing project. I'm always fascinated by what is going on around me while I'm there. Customers either don't realize how much their voices carry or they don't care.

The first group of people who sat down not far from me consisted of two females and one male. One of the women said to the man, "I thought you said you don't do karaoke." Then she sang YMCA. Eventually the man stood up and did a variation of what looked to be a cross between The Robot and break dancing.

Minutes after they left, two women sat down at the same table. They were quiet talkers. I heard the words "summer," "pacific," "days," "trees" and it made me think they were talking about an upcoming vacation. With all the snow we still have on the ground, it's certainly understandable why they might be dreaming about getting away.

The place was completely quite for a while, except for the chatter of employees.

Finally, a man and woman sat down at the same table the other two groups sat previously. The woman began to talk about sick days. Shortly into their conversation, the man's cell phone rang, quite loudly, and oddly he spoke much louder into the phone than he did when speaking to the woman seated across from him. From the sound of his conversation, his car was in the shop and he was talking to somebody about it. The call got dropped somehow and a couple of minutes later, his phone began ringing again. It took him several rings to pick it up. He finished his conversation and hung up.

"Hot Chai" shouted one of the workers.

Unbelievably, a couple of minutes later, the man's phone began to ring again -- maybe five times before he finally picked it up. I'm guessing he doesn't know he can set his phone to vibrate. I wish he did. They finished their meal and left.

The sounds of soft jazz playing over the PA system replaced the loud ringing telephone.

"Hey Mike, how are ya?" said a worker to a customer.

Then silence.

Ahhh. Silence.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Either bread or coffee or something must have been ready because the beeping wouldn't stop.

Two hours into my attempt to get more work done by escaping my office, I packed up and headed back for the office. As much as I love people watching (I really do) and the ambiance of Panera Bread, I'm thinking I need to start frequenting a library if I really want to get some work done.

When Little Things Become Bigger Things

2010-01-26T06:59:00.004-06:00

This blog is named Little Nuances for a reason. I believe that life is in the details -- in the small decisions we make, in the phrases that move us, in the lyrics that speak to us, in the questions people ask us, in the seemingly routine events.

A few years ago, an editor asked me to write a sports inspirational book. We brainstormed ideas for sections I'd cover. He wanted a section about NASCAR. I had never watched a NASCAR race in my life. I didn't know anything about it, but when an editor comes to you with a book idea, you listen. And, when necessary, you do some research.

I watched the final three NASCAR races of the 2005 season. The final race blew me away when two competitors raced each other hard, and clean, to the finish line. Afterward, Mark Martin, the guy who came up short, spoke about racing his opponent clean and I could tell from his voice and mannerisms that there was a certain honor in that. And I could tell from the way he spoke that other people in the industry had a ton of respect for him. I became a NASCAR fan and a Mark Martin fan that night.

Five years later, I have interviewed and written about drivers such as Bobby Labonte, Sam Hornish Jr., David Reutimann, Brad Coleman, Morgan Shepherd and Eric McClure. I've also interviewed and written about other people in and around the industry. None of that would have happened if I hadn't met an editor years prior who liked my work and offered me a book contract.

The funny thing is, the book was never released. The distribution fell through and the publisher pulled the plug. There wasn't any hard feelings though. They paid me for the book and I've written other books for the editor since then.

Yesterday, the UPS man rang my doorbell and dropped off a box. I opened it and inside I found my contributor copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul: NASCAR. In it, on page 162 you can find my contribution titled, "How Mark Martin Turned Me into a NASCAR Fan." The book will be released on February 16.

Dating Book Passages

2010-01-25T06:57:00.001-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, I grabbed a book off my bookshelf because I wanted to quote a passage from it in something I was writing. I underline passages so I can find them under such circumstances. I found the passage I was looking for and for some reason I had written a date next to it in the margin. Seeing the date gave me context. It helped me remember what was going on in my life when I read that passage.

It gave me an idea to begin writing the date in the margin of every book I read at the beginning of each reading session. I did that as I read Open by Andre Agassi. I'm doing it now as I read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. In the years to come, as I flip through these books I'll have context for the passages that spoke to me and I think they'll mean more to me.

The Soundtrack of Life

2010-01-21T12:27:00.004-06:00

If somebody were to ask you to put together a 12-song sound track of your life, what songs would go on it?

I'm not talking about songs you love or even like necessarily; instead I'm talking about songs that are just part of who you are. They gave a voice to some emotion you were feeling or they were background music for some period in your life and the second you hear the first note, you remember.

Here's what would go on mine:

Dream On by Aerosmith: The song came out in 1973. I was seven years old. I didn't actually know the song until I was probably 14 or so, but Aerosmith became my favorite group and this song was the main reason. I thought Steven Tyler was so cool and I just loved their music. When I went to work at a fast food restaurant, all of us had our own cup we used and re-used for soda pop throughout our shift. The name I wrote on the masking tape on my cup was "Steven Lee Tyler." Pretty ridiculous, but hey, that's where I was at the time in my life.

Baby Come to Me by Patti Austin and James Ingram. I had a girlfriend in high school who deemed this our song. I never liked it much, but I've heard worse. I can't hear it now though and not think about those days.

Purple Rain by Prince. This was sort of a transition song for me. It came out in 1984. I graduated from high school that year. I saw the movie, that shares the same name, twice in one day -- once in a movie theater with a female friend who adored Prince and then later that night at a drive-in theater with some friends, including a former girlfriend. After I started working at the fast food place, this song became our anthem as we cleaned the place after we closed. We'd pull out the boom box, pop in the tape, and blast it.

Hello by Lionel Richie. I was in college when this came out. Whenever I heard it, I thought of a woman I was into at the time. One day, while playing in the final of a tennis tournament on campus, this song came over the PA. I'm a sappy romantic at heart and I drew inspiration from the song as I thought about the woman I was interested in -- especially since I was there alone and the other guy had a small cheering section. I won the match, and the tournament, and then I told the woman about it. She wasn't impressed or interested, but I'll always have "Hello."

Like a Virgin by Madonna. Another song that came out when I was in college. It was on the radio non-stop as I drove to and from class every day. I can still hear it as I drove down 24th Street toward home one day. I don't know why, but my mind took a snapshot of that moment and stored the photo in my permanent memory banks. I didn't really like the song a whole lot, but when I think about college, I think about this song.

Faithfully by Journey. So, this one involved another woman. Sensing a recurring theme here? Said woman and one of her friends and I went to see Journey perform in Lincoln, Nebraska. This would have been 1986 or so. I was into said woman more than she was into me. But, we were there, sitting together and during this song, as Steve Perry belted out the chorus, I slipped my arm around her. A couple of weeks later, I got the fateful note/letter -- remember those? -- telling me she just wanted to be friends. But for one night, I got swept up in the moment provided by Journey. And things were good.

Alone Again by Dokken. I went to an outdoor music festival with a friend around 1986. Dokken was one of the bands. I didn't really know their music, but they sang a ballad that was dripping with emotion called "Alone Again" and I was hooked. The lyrics and the feel of the song really grasped the way I was thinking and feeling at the time.

That's What Friends are for the cover version by Dionne Warwick and friends. This song became one of those songs that define a relationship that was hard to define. It also became a privately shared knowing between us whenever it came on the radio.

Every Rose Has its Thorn by Poison. I was never a real song writer, but for a while, in the late 80s I played the guitar a little and wrote about a dozen songs. I learned how to play "Every Rose Has its Thorn" although I'm not sure I ever learned it all the way through. But I could play most of it and it sounded pretty good. One night, I had a group of friends over and one of my friends brought a woman who knew the words to this song. So, she sang along as I played. We wouldn't have won any awards, but it was fun.

Easy Street by Zwarte. This song came out the same year I became a Christian. Everything I believed was changing. During this same period, a friend and I went to see Zwarte play at a bowling alley every time they came into town. Zwarte's anthem was (and I suspect still is) "Easy Street" -- a song about the perils of choosing the easy way. The song meant a lot to me because it gave a voice to they way I was feeling.

Your Life is Now by John Mellencamp. This song came out in 1998 on Mellencamp's self-titled CD. After my dad died in 2000, this song became a powerful reminder of who I was and how short life is. Mellencamp sings, "Your father's days are lost to you / This is your time here to do what you will do / Your life is now." I felt that. Something about losing a parent makes you realize that your life is now -- it's not some distant dream.

Ohio by Over the Rhine. Last June, I wrote about this song and the emotions it creates in me. When I listen to the song, I think about it from the "Your Life is Now" perspective. So much is changing and my "father's days are lost" to me in the sense that you can never go back. But sometimes, you have to go back -- mentally speaking -- to remember where you came from, and ultimately, to help you see where you are going.

Your turn. What songs would go on the soundtrack of your life?

(500) Days of Summer

2010-01-19T19:39:00.000-06:00

"I dream sometimes about flying. It starts out like I'm running really, really fast and I'm like superhuman and the terrain starts to get really rocky and steep. And then I'm running so fast that my feet aren't even touching the ground and I'm floating and it's like this amazing, amazing feeling. I'm free and I'm safe, but then I realize, I'm completely alone. And then I wake up." --Summer Finn, from (500) Days of Summer

I love it that Summer realizes the contradiction of flying about, free and clear, while at the same time experiencing loneliness. It's a non-romantic view of freedom. Something about hearing people wrestle through their contradictions is inspiring to me. It makes me feel better about my own. It also helps me to be honest about them and to examine them.

Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young

2010-01-17T16:04:00.001-06:00

This video of Jimmy Fallon as Neil Young doing "Pants on the Ground" is hilarious and brilliant:

#98 Gifts

2010-01-15T06:45:00.001-06:00

In 2006 I wrote and posted a list of 100 life-enriching little nuances in which the items are in no particular order. Once a week, over the next couple of years, I’m planning to write a post about each item on the list. I’d love it if you would add your own comments and experiences.

On Christmas Eve In 1993, my family gathered for Christmas at my grandmother's house, just like we'd been doing for as long as I could remember. I was anxious for Dad to open the gift I got him -- a copy of Rush Limbaugh's newest book See, I Told You So. We'd been talking about the book on the phone and in letters since it had been released a month or two prior.

He unwrapped my gift and a smile spread across his face. There's nothing like seeing a genuine smile from someone after you have given him or her a gift.

I unwrapped the gift he got me and that's when I understood why he was really smiling.

"Unbelievable," I said.

He bought me the same book.

It was a special moment for me. Gifts are so personal and it's not always easy to know what to get another person, but if you pay attention to his or her likes -- to the things they gravitate toward, you can almost always pick up on something.

When I unwrap a moleskine notebook, or a pack of G2 pens, or a DVD I don't have but want, or any number of other things, it tells me the other person is honed in on what I like and people who listen to you talk about the things you like genuinely care about you.

I really want to be that type of person too.

After Dad died in 2000, one of the things I wanted was the copy of the book I gave him. I found it. It now sits proudly on my bookshelf next to the copy he gave me. To make it even more special, they are both inscribed:

Waiting until Wednesday

2010-01-14T07:00:00.001-06:00

Last Friday I sent the following email to my city councilmember:

My roommate is visually impaired -- not to the point that he needs assistance or anything like that, but enough so that it keeps him from driving. So, he walks to work every day and he doesn't mind it at all. He enjoys walking.

But ever since the first snow storm on December 8, the sidewalk on the … Street viaduct between … Street … and … Avenue have not been shoveled. So, he either has to walk in the street or avoid the viaduct and walk through neighborhoods that also aren't dug out yet either.

My roommate has called the city snow removal line and they say it is the state's responsibility. He called the state. Initially a representative told him they'd get right on it. They didn't. My roommate called back and this time they told him it was the city's responsibility.

All my roommate wants to do is be able to walk to work … Is there a way you could light a fire under somebody at either the city or state level to get the sidewalk on the viaduct shoveled (on both sides)? Anything you can do would be appreciated.

My city councilmember was quick to respond, asking one of his staffers to look into it with the intention of getting the sidewalk cleared by Monday. I was carbon-copied on several emails in which city and state personnel discussed the matter. This viaduct is on a state highway within city limits. It wasn’t hard to figure out why the viaduct hadn’t been touched. Nobody understood who was responsible.

The sidewalk wasn’t cleared over the weekend. Or on Monday. Or Tuesday.

Tuesday night, I was copied on another email in which one state worker paraphrased a state statute to a city worker saying it was the city’s responsibility if the state highway is located within city limits. That email did the trick.

My city councilmember emailed me on Wednesday to let me know the sidewalk was clear.

The truth is, sometimes you have to wait until Wednesday, even though it is a major inconvenience, and in this case, a genuine safety concern.

Life is messy. We misunderstand one another sometimes. We disagree with one another sometimes. We do stupid things to one another sometimes. But redemption really isn't all that far away.

In this case, my city councilmember -- who doesn't happen to be in the same political party as I am -- wasn't at fault, but he and his staff dug in, asked questions, got an answer, and the sidewalk on the viaduct was cleaned as a result. It wouldn't have happened without his help and I'm hoping he and his staff feel good knowing they made it easier for a citizen to get to work.

The Gremlin Meeting

2010-01-13T07:03:00.006-06:00

A couple of mornings ago, I was awakened by what felt like somebody repeatedly sticking a needle in one of pinky fingers. I knew what it was before I opened my eyes: a small sliver from my fingernail went rogue and the blanket was bending it backward. I hate when that happens.

Yesterday morning I woke up and the left side of my nose hurt. I have no idea why.

Nearly every morning, I wake up to some new adventure. I often envision little gremlins hovering over my bed at night, just waiting for me to fall asleep so they can begin their work.

They take out their little hammers and pound away on my knees and hips all night long. They wiggle my nose and ears back and forth. They climb on my shoulders and elbows and jump up and down. They laugh and mock and make promises to meet each other – same time, same place – the next night.

By the time I wake up, they are gone, but I know they’ve been there. I can feel the effects of their handiwork.

Howard the Duck

2010-01-12T06:15:00.005-06:00

Continuing the 4,000 Questions series: "What movie did you like that everybody else hated?"

That's an easy one to answer: Howard the Duck. I have no idea why this movie bombed at the box office or why people make fun of it, but I love it! I saw it again on cable a few months ago and cracked up as Howard delivered these classic lines:

"That's it, No more Mr. Nice Duck."

"Desperate ducks commit desperate acts."

"No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!"

"Of all the alleys in the world I could have fallen into that night, why did it have to be yours?"

"I know why you need the toolbox -- you've got a screw loose."

And my favorite line:

"What is the name of this place?" Howard asks Beverly.
"Oh, Cleveland."
"Cleve-Land. Perfectly weird name for this planet."

Every time I hear Cleveland, I hear it as Cleve-Land.

My friends make fun of me for liking this movie. Critics hated it. I think even Lea Thompson is embarrassed by it. But I love it.

You want to see the trailer, don't you? Go on ...

2009 Blizzard Photos

2010-01-11T06:51:00.004-06:00

With temperatures expected to climb up into the 30s this week, I decided to jump in my car yesterday and snap some photos of all the snow we have on the ground before it starts to melt. I have a feeling we’ll be talking about the 2009 blizzards in Omaha for a long time. It’s always good, and fun, to do a little documenting.

Unfortunately, the battery in my digital camera was dead so I had to use the camera on my cell phone. It does an adequate job, but some of the photos turned out pretty grainy.

A few of the photos were not necessarily taken yesterday, but they were taken since we received the last big snow on Christmas Day.

My favorite photo of the bunch is the last one, which for the record should say, “Please don’t block driveway.” Somehow the spray painted word “block” disappeared. I suspect a conspiracy.

What the sign means is this … the streets are so full of snow that the plows haven’t been able to clear them all the way from curb to curb and since snow is piled high at the end of everyone’s driveway, they can’t turn sharply enough to avoid the cars parked behind them on the street. And for whatever reason, people who park in the street aren’t taking this into consideration. So many of them are parking directly behind driveways and they don’t really need to. Hence the sign.

Anyway, here are the photos of the aftermath from the 2009 blizzard(s) in Omaha:

Update 9:34 AM: I found several more photos I’ve taken over the past couple of weeks:

#99 School Plays and Concerts

2010-01-08T12:57:00.006-06:00

In 2006 I wrote and posted a list of 100 life-enriching little nuances in which the items are in no particular order. Once a week, over the next couple of years, I’m planning to write a post about each item on the list. I’d love it if you would add your own comments and experiences.

Having just come from work, I walked into the school gymnasium as my niece’s second grade class took the stage. I searched the crowd for my family, found them, and sat in the seat they saved for me. Then I began looking toward the stage for my niece. There she was – standing at the end of the front row of students – supporting herself on her walker.

She was born with cerebral palsy in her lower extremities and it took all the strength she had to stand. I can still she her legs quivering when she stood for long periods of time.

She really just wanted to be treated like everybody else. She wanted to stand next to her classmates and sing with them. So she did.

I don’t know why, but one of the songs they sing, called “Must be Santa” sticks in my brain.

Who’s got a beard that’s long and white?
Santa’s got a beard that’s long and white.

Who comes around on a special night?
Santa comes around on a special night.

Special night, beard that’s white,
Must be Santa must be Santa,
Must be Santa, Santa Claus.

Their heads sort of sway back and forth as they sing.

We applaud as if we just heard the best rendition of the song ever performed and since they are our kids, we have. Some of the students are oblivious, some ham it up, some drink it all in. My niece is the bashful type, especially at this stage in her life – which is now 12 years ago, so her eyes dart back and forth and she partially conceals a smile.

All these years later, I’ll sometimes begin to sing the chorus of “Must be Santa” at Christmastime and my niece will roll her eyes. But there’s nothing she can do to stop it. The concert, the song, her struggle to stand next to her fellow students, her bashfulness – it’s all part our family folklore now.

Technically, folklore is unwritten, so I guess I’ve just moved the story beyond folklore to heritage. Either way, it’s remembered. And that’s the important thing. It’s also why school plays and concerts are on my list of 100 life-enriching little nuances. They have the potential to stay with us forever.

Rethinking 10 Phrases

2010-01-07T06:55:00.001-06:00

Each and every: Why not just say each or every?
Whole nother: What does "nother" mean?
Lip sing: You mean lip sync?
Free of charge: Why not just free?
Free gift: Aren't all gifts free?
People that: Should be people who.
Off of: Just off.
At this point in time: Why not say now?
In order to: Why not just to?
Very (followed by any word): How fast is very fast? How far is very far? How good is very good?

Odd City Name Pronunciations

2010-01-06T06:59:00.002-06:00

In 1997, the singles group from my church went on a murder mystery train ride on the Fremont Dinner Train. We had a marvelous meal and a great time trying to solve the mystery as we traveled from Fremont, Nebraska to Hooper, Nebraska in a 1940s style train (round trip is about 36 miles).

As we approached Hooper -- a town of less than a thousand people -- several passengers on the train informed us that the pronunciation of the city sounds like "hooker" with a "p."

"Huh?" I said.

"Yeah, like hooker with a p."

How could that be correct? I didn't argue though.

Recently, I found a message on an ancestory bulletin board asking why it is pronounced that way and so far nobody has answered the question. I also found a newspaper article written about the city and many of the locals chimed in about the proper pronunciation, but again, nobody really said why.

Some 13 years since that dinner train ride, I hear the city pronounced the way locals always say it and I smile, as if I'm in the know or something.

Oddly, we have another city in Nebraska that isn't pronounced the way it looks.

The city is Norfolk, Nebraska -- a city of nearly 23,000 people, located about 90 miles northwest of Omaha. Many locals pronounce the city name as "Norfork."

One television station attempted to find out the proper pronunciation so it asked the mayor (who said both pronunciations are correct) and a number of citizens, all of whom had varying opinions for varying reasons, but most natives seem to favor "Norfork." One woman in the video said it was Norfork "because of the fork in the river." Another said it was Norfork because "it's always been that way."

Residents in Norfolk don't seem as dogmatic about the odd pronunciation as the people in Hooper. But I have to wonder if the founders of these towns didn't alter the pronunciations of these towns purposely -- maybe to identify the non-natives easily. Or maybe to be different. Or maybe there really are good explanations that nobody seems to know about.

But it's kind of fun to talk about.

The Last Three Books

2010-01-05T11:16:00.002-06:00

Continuing with the 4,000 Questions series: What were the last three books you bought?

Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. Set in the 1950s, a young married couple with two children and a starter home lives "on the assumption that greatness is only just around the corner. But now that certainty is about to crumble."

I really wanted to see this movie when it came out, but never got around to it. I think I'll read the book before watching it on DVD. Most of us, to varying degrees, live on the assumption, or least the hope, that greatness is just around the corner. I certainly do.

Greatness looks different for each of us though. For me, it would be marriage, a nice quiet home life spent with the woman I love and a writing career that brings in enough income.

Up in the Air by Walter Kirn. Ryan Bingham has one goal in life -- to reach the one million frequent-flyer miles club. He's a career transition counselor, which is just a fancy title for someone who is hired to fire people for companies that don't want to be involved in the dirty work.

I saw this movie on New Year's Eve. Portions of it were filmed here in Omaha, which was neat to see. George Clooney plays the part of Bingham and he is quite convincing in the role. Bingham loves the routines of the road and he loves the fact that his job keeps him absent from family events. Why deal with the headaches? He eventually figures out the reason.

As an introverted person, my tendency is to prefer to disengage. I've had to work hard over the years to avoid this. So, I'll be interested to read this book. I imagine I'll see more of myself in Bingham than I care to.

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. The story is told through the eyes of a fourteen-year-old girl named Susie Salmon, who was murdered. She is able to see life on earth continue without her. She can hear what people say about her disappearance, she can see her killer as he tries to cover his tracks and she can see the way her family grieves her death.

I wanted to read this novel when it first came quite a few years ago, but since it isn't my type of book, I never got around to it. This book seems pretty heavy and, generally speaking, I'm not into mysteries or books about crime -- probably because they are so heavy on plot. I prefer character-driven fiction. But this book seems to be both.

Deep inside, we want to believe that heaven exists and that our loved ones who are there are watching events as they occur hear on earth. I'm a Christian, and as such, I have no doubt about the existence of heaven. And I know from the Bible that on occasion -- including the great cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1) -- people are allowed to see what is going on here. So, I'm intrigued by this book.

There you have it. Those are the three latest books I've added to my to-be read pile. How about you?

More posts in the 4,000 Questions series:

Comfort Over Fashion

2010-01-04T07:10:00.001-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, when the temperatures dipped to zero in Omaha, as they always do around this time of year, I pulled out a pair of gloves from one of the drawers in my kitchen. I was looking for an old pair of gloves, but I couldn’t find them so I had my pick of two new pair. I picked one of them, snipped the thin piece of plastic that held them together, and put them on. They barely fit, were super bulky, and rendered my hands pretty much useless outside.

When I got home, I opened the kitchen drawer, dropped that pair of gloves back inside and went in search of my old pair. They really aren’t meant to be winter gloves. They are work gloves. And they are camouflaged and probably more suitable for a hunting trip than anything else. But I like them. They are comfortable. My hands are functional when I wear them. And they do a decent job of keeping my hands warm.

I found them and have been wearing them outside ever since. Give me comfort over fashion any day.

That is my philosophy as I find myself in middle age. Most places I go, I’m probably underdressed one notch. In fact, that has sort of become my goal: don’t underdress by two notches, just one. If you underdress by two notches, you look like you don’t care. If you underdress by one notch, people at least believe you gave it a shot. The cool thing is, you are more comfortable than they are, so it’s a win-win.

#100 Lakes, Ponds and Rivers

2010-01-02T13:33:00.004-06:00

“People come to this river for lots of reasons. Some of us are hiding, some of us are escaping, some of us are looking for a little peace and quiet, maybe trying to forget, anything to ease the pain we carry, but … we all come thirsty.”

When I was a small child, my grandfather used to take me fishing once in a while. We went to a place called Catfish Lake, located just south of the city. I was always a shy kid who wasn’t comfortable around a lot of people. It’s one of the reasons I loved hopping in my grandfather’s truck on a Saturday morning to head for Catfish Lake. And by the way, nothing beat jumping into my grandfather’s truck on a Saturday morning knowing we were headed for Catfish Lake.

As we pulled up to the place, it always smelled fishy, which gave me hope because if I could smell fish, there must be fish in lake and that meant I might just catch one that day.

My anxieties about being around other people disappeared and my senses came to life as my grandfather baited my hook and taught me how to cast a line. He’d get his own line in the water; then we’d wait … in silence. I think the silence is what I liked best. There’s nothing like sitting next to someone you love and not needing to say anything.

But it wasn’t the type of silence you experience in a library. It was the type of silence that allows you to hear things you wouldn’t ordinarily hear – a tiny frog jumping into the water from the shoreline, a fish jumping out of the water across the lake and then splashing on impact, and the drone of insects.

I don’t remember what type of fish we caught or how many. But we caught our share.

When the fish weren’t biting, my grandfather would tell me I wasn’t holding my mouth open the right way. I don’t think I really ever believed him, but that’s not to say I didn’t try holding my mouth open once or twice just in case he might be right. I’m pretty sure I must have looked like a big mouth bass when I did it.

People who know me now would say I’m not an outdoor person because I don’t like heat or insects and they would be partially correct. But I still love the silence that can only be found when you are around water.

Leap Year is a Lock

2010-01-01T06:59:00.001-06:00

Whenever I see a movie with a couple of my single dude friends, we make little comments about the previews to each other. I'll usually whisper either "Super going to see it!" or "Stuuuuuuuuupid." One of my friends will shake his head in disbelief through most of the previews, which is a pretty good indicator that I'll never get him to go see those particular movies.

Sometimes, after the movie we went to see is over, we'll talk about which of the previews interested us. I'll usually bring up a chick flick that looked good and one of the guys will say, "Oh, I knew that was lock the minute I saw it" meaning, he knew it was a lock for me. Well, we haven't collectively seen the previews yet for Leap Year, but when we do, it's going to be a lock.

What Did Life Look Like in the 00s?

2009-12-31T11:57:00.003-06:00

In 20 years, if a young person asks you to give him or her a picture of what life looked like in America during the first decade of this century, what will you say?

I've been thinking about that question the past couple of days. All of us would answer that question differently. I probably won't have a definitive answer for five or ten years, because time brings perspective, but I'd make a list that looks like this if I had to answer the question today:

911

Everyone who was alive when Islamic terrorists attacked our country will remember the morning of September 11, 2001. I wrote about my memories here. By the time Americans went to bed that evening, we knew life was going to be different in our country.

We woke up the next day to increased security, a temporary sense of unity, and a deep desire to strike back. American pride filled the streets, and workplace, and worship centers. Nobody cared about political party affiliation, race or religious beliefs. Instead, we saw each other as fellow humans in need. It was an awful time and it was a grand time.

Cell Phones

My dad's car blew an engine in 1997 on his way from St. Louis to Omaha to visit my family. He didn't have a cell phone. It was cold out and he sat in his freezing car in a farmer's field for several hours until the farmer came to his rescue and allowed Dad to use his phone. Dad called me and I drove two hours to pick him up. I made a decision that day to buy a cell phone. All the phone did was make phone calls because that's all cell phones did back then, but that was good enough.

By the middle of the 00s, cell phones took photos, sent text messages, recorded voice memos, played digital music, and had instant messenger features. By the late 00s, people who used social networking sites like Facebook or Twitter could update their status on their cell phone.

As is often the case with new technology, new dangers arose. Teens began sexting and drivers became distracted as they fidgeted with their phones. New laws resulted and we adapted.

[NEW YORK - JULY 18 [2007]: Eric Duberice (L) and Will Ozier talk on their cell phones in front of the New York Public Library after walking away from the steam pipe explosion that occurred during rush hour in midtown Manhattan July 18, 2007 in New York City. Steam and mud were forced from the ground near Grand Central Station on East 41st street from Third to Lexington Avenue forcing people to evacuate the area and also causing subway delays. (Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images) Content © 2009 Getty Images All rights reserved.]

As the decade came to a close, some people dropped their land lines and switched solely to cell phones. Life without a cell phone became nearly unimaginable and people in all age demographics used them, including children. In fact, in one community it was estimated that as many as 45% of homeless people had a cell phone.

The Internet

Somewhere around 1993, I decided I wanted a computer. I had writing aspirations and I knew it was time to transition from electric typewriter to computer so I called a relative who was into computers and asked him if he knew of any good deals. He pointed me to a friend of his who was selling a computer that ran on DOS for $250.00. I bought it and was thrilled with it.

I eventually upgraded to a windows based machine and got online via AOL in 1994. Throughout the 90s, if you were online, you were probably considered a geek. By the end of the 00s, the geek stigma was gone.

The concept of internet dating was popularized by the movie You've Got Mail. At first the practice of internet dating was shunned, but by the end of the decade, if this website is to be believed, 12 couples per day either get married or engaged through Match.com and 118 couples per day get married or engaged through eHarmony.com.

The internet revolutionized the way we connected with one another, read the news, did research, and published our ideas.

Newspapers that had been around for decades began to fold because they couldn't compete with news websites that offered news for free. The internet created a mindset in Americans that believed content should be free. It could be paid for with advertising or product sales but not subscription fees. As the decade came to a close, old school style of journalism was giving way to the new school, but finding funding was still a challenge.

The internet changed the way many people listened to and purchased music. As the decade started, compact disks were king. Along came music in digital format, called MP3, allowing music lovers to download their favorite music and carry their entire music collection on an MP3 player in their pocket.

YouTube was founded in 2005 and much like the internet opened up the world for writers, YouTube opened up the world for anybody with a digital camera or camcorder. Companies jumped in and began featuring their products. Creative types began filming new mini-series. YouTube eventually led to Hulu, a website that broadcasts entire television shows and movies for free (if you'll watch a few advertisements).

During the 00s, the internet brought us entertainment on demand.

Email

Before email came along, I was a huge letter writer. My dad and I exchanged letters often and there's still nothing like receiving a letter that you can pull out of the envelope and see the actual handwriting of a loved one or friend. You can feel the indentations in the paper and know that they were caused by the writer.

Email killed the letter and that sort of bums me out. But at the same time, I love being able to send and receive messages instantly. I only wish I would have done a better job of preserving the email I received early on. So much of it was lost as computers crashed (I used email software applications) or email addresses changed. I eventually switched to webmail, even though I despise it, because I always have access to my archives.

By the end of the 00s, you could see a clear split between the way generations used or didn't use email. Older generations embraced email as a primary way to communicate online. Younger generations shunned email in favor of text messaging.

Blogs

Blogs became everything that personal websites hoped to be. I might be overstating this, time will tell, but when blogging became mainstream in the mid-00s, it felt like the modern day equivalent of Gutenberg's printing press. Much like the pamphleteers of old, communicators no longer had to submit their ideas to editors. They could create a blog and hit the "publish" button.

By the last of the 00s, some bloggers had audiences in the millions and they were making a living from what they wrote and published themselves. By 2008, there were some 200 million blogs in existence with nearly one million posts going up on the internet every 24 hours. Anybody who believed he or she had something to say could start a blog and say it. By the end of the decade, nearly every major website had a blog presence.

Ironically, many bloggers received book deals after their blogs gained high readership numbers.

Social Networking

Social networking started out as activity that young people used to keep in touch with each other. MySpace was founded in 2003 and it quickly allowed people to become online "friends." Other social networking sites soon followed.

Facebook was founded in 2004. Mostly college students used it, but by the end of the decade, every age demographic was represented and 250 million people were on Facebook.

Twitter was founded in 2006 and by the end of the decade it became one of the ways people discovered and disseminated news. Whenever a tragedy struck or whenever a big story broke, firsthand accounts could be read on Twitter.

The use of social networking evolved throughout the decade. Social networking was used by businesses, celebrities, social clubs, journalists, and the average Joe. Some used it to report news. Some used it to read news. Some used to it promote a product. Some used it to promote a cause. And some used it to create a community of like minded people.

In some ways, social networking made the world feel like a smaller place.

Digital Cameras

Film became unnecessary in the 00s. As digital cameras took off in popularity and as memory cards decreased in price, a family could take as many as a thousand pictures on vacation and never have to worry about running out of space. They could also view and delete any photos that weren't keepers. And they could upload them on services like Flickr, Snapfish or PhotoBucket for other loved ones to see before they even returned home from vacation.

By the end of the decade, many, if not most, cell phones had built in digital cameras which made nearly every event in a person's life one that could easily be recorded through the magic of photography.

Celebrity Fascination

As technology advanced throughout the 00s, it led to websites and blogs dedicated to celebrity gossip. Such sites developed their own reporters and photographers and by the end of the decade they were breaking news. This fed America's fascination with celebrities. Every time a celebrity made a move in public (and sometimes in private), it was captured on video or still photography and broadcast to the masses. A few celebrities seemed to embrace this; most did not.

This is just a small sampling of what life was like in the 00s from my perspective. I'd love to hear your take.

Open by Andre Agassi

2009-12-30T07:09:00.033-06:00

On Christmas Eve, I started reading Open by Andre Agassi. It's a shocking book. Not only because of his admitted drug use in 1997, but because of his complete honesty about who is and what he believes. He took some huge risks by writing this book. He could have alienated his fans, lost the respect of current and former players and ruined his reputation as a humanitarian.

Apparently he thought the risks were worth taking.

Early on, Agassi makes it clear that he hates tennis. He hates it because he never had the choice to play it. His father forced it upon him as a young boy and it just so happened that God gave him the ability to play the game on an extremely high level. When he was a teen, his father sent him to the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy in Florida which caused Agassi's hatred for tennis to grow. Eventually he reached a breaking point while at the academy.

Here's what happened next:

I walk into a hair salon in the Bradenton Mall and tell the stylist to give me a mohawk. Razor the sizes, shave them to the scalp, and leave just one thick strip of spiked hair down the middle.

Are you sure, kid?

I want it high, and I want it spiky. Then dye it pink.

A couple of paragraphs later, he says this:

To the casual observer I've done something that seems like a desperate effort to stand out. But in fact I've rendered myself, my inner self, my true self, invisible. At least, that was the idea.

A few years later, after he is a pro, Canon pays him to shoot a commercial in which he utters the line "Image is everything." He doesn't even understand what it means, but it's just a commercial, so what's the harm, right? Overnight, Agassi says, the slogan becomes synonymous with him:

They [advertising execs, sportswriters and fans] treat this ridiculous throwaway slogan as if it's my Confession, which makes as much sense as arresting Marlon Brando for murder because of a line he uttered in The Godfather.

As the ad campaign widens, as this insidious slogan creeps its way into every article about me, I change. I develop an edge, a mean streak. I stop giving interviews. I lash out at linesmen, opponents, reporters -- even fans. I feel justified, because the world is against me, the world is trying to screw me. I'm becoming my father.

Of course, Agassi eventually turned nearly everybody into a fan. But then he wrote Open and confessed his faults and now his critics are saying he wrote the book to cash in. By being in the public eye, and by writing a book, Agassi is fair game for criticism. And certainly, people are entitled to their opinions.

But what if he really did hide behind the hair and the flare early in his career in an attempt to preserve himself? And what if people jumped to conclusions about him early in his career because of a slogan he recited in a commercial? And what if he wrote Open to not only set the record straight about who he really is, warts and all, but also to reach out to other lost souls?

It's worth considering.