I get sent a lot of sex toys to review. But as much as I love sex toys, I also love reading. I like reading erotica, I like reading sex writing, and I like reading educational books. SexToy.com understands my love and need for words on paper, and was kind enough to send me Two Knotty Boys — Showing You the Ropes, another book for my collection on rope bondage.

I recently review Midori’s book, the Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, and I was excited to get another book on rope bondage for a different viewpoint, and new ideas.

The intro to this book wasn’t very long, but it has the important bits. A mini-background on rope bondage, a well written list of “Dos and Don’ts” that I found easy to read and comprehend, and a few pages on the types of rope. I liked this section, as I don’t know much about rope, and it gave an easy overview of the different materials (including their uses, pros, cons, etc), the best ways to clean and cut different types of rope, etc.

Next off, we have the rope itself. I really appreciate the step by step pictures. While I’m very good at visualizing things, it was awesome to have a guide to go along with the words, to make sure I was doing the right thing, and was on the right path. I also was excited to learn chain braiding, ideal for rope storage.

The rest of the book was divided into sections; the Knots (decorative and functional), Basic Bondage, Decorative Bondage (my favorite part– there are some really interesting and really pretty ties in this section!), Dominance Bondage, and Sex Bondage. Each section has about seven or eight different ties, and shows you step by step, with both instructions and pictures, exactly how to accomplish that particular tie. Also, each tie tells you a little bit about how it should be used, whether it is ok for newbies or should be saved for seasoned (and/or bratty) rope veterans, what length of rope is needed, and what diameter of rope should be used.

Behind all of the ties is a reference section and a glossary, which really is a must for any type of kink or sexuality book, in my not so humble opinion.

I really like how the ties are laid out. It’s easy to read, and to understand, and if I happened to need to keep a copy of it by my bed to check in as I did the ties, it’s super simple to follow, even with a squirming partner right next to you.

I’m not the biggest fan of rope bondage…at times, it is beautiful, but to me, it is also very time consuming, and I tend to lose circulation very quickly, so for me it seems like not a lot of result for so much time and effort. However, after reading this book, I really want to learn more of these decorative knots and rope wear, as I think they are absolutely beautiful, and completely worth it. I’d give this book 5 stars out of 5.

You can never have too many books! If you want your own copy of this incredibly detailed, amusing, and helpful book, you can get it here.

-Essin’ Em

I have a thing for vampires. Just in general. Even before Twilight was written, I was going gaga over blood suckers. I even did a ridiculous vampire shoot with Chris back in August. I like being bitten. I’m always cold…but yet I don’t wear socks, or really jackets. I rarely sleep, and am up all night. Like till 5 or 6am. Vampires rock my life.

So what, you may be asking, do vampires have to do with sex toys? Well, fetish items are toys too! And I love fetish toys. Floggers, nipple clamps and paddles – all things I enjoy and love.

But vampire gloves? FUCKING BRILLIANT.

What, you may ask, are vampire gloves? They are ordinary leather gloves that aren’t quite so ordinary. Each finger (and thumb) on both gloves are covered with a large mass of metal spikes. The palm is spike free on my pair (although there are in fact vampire gloves available that have spikes on the palms as well).

For the most part, the spikes feel wonderful, but are fairly innocuous. They leave little scratch marks, but don’t really draw blood. However, my left hand glove has some spikes that are a little sharper, or set a little off – something. And daaaaamn. They can HURT. As in draw blood. And leave lots o’ scratch marks/small cuts for a few days.

The first time I played with them, it was last month with F. I was running them up and down her as she shuddered. Later, in the middle of watching Lesbian Life: Real Sex San Francisco, F and I wound up getting into a spanking scene. I was reddening her ass, and then would slooooowly dragged my spiked gloves over her red ass cheeks, feel her body climax into me over and over and over again. I actually like not having spikes on the palms, because then you can spank and smack with the palms, without having to take off the gloves in between.

Next, I brought them to a play party. I didn’t have anything in mind, but then my cute friend who happens to be a Domme wanted to play with me (she has a thing about Hitachi Magic Wands, and I just so happened to have brought one with me). As she rummaged through my bag, she found the vampire gloves, and was completely entranced by them. They felt amazing as she ran them up and down my body. My arms, my back, my breasts, my thighs. I was already flying high, just from feeling the cold spikes against my skin.

However- the left glove scratched up the inside of my leg pretty bad, and I still have some cuts around my nipples from it. So if you’re not into blood play, don’t let a Domme (or Dom or top) grab hold of your gloves without making sure they are not as sharp anymore.

These are probably one of my favorite new toys…and I have a fuck ton of toys, so that’s saying a lot. In fact, I think everyone, even people who are not super into fetishy things, should have their very own set of vampire gloves. Freaking amazing!

-Essin’ Em

If you were to visit me, you would notice a preponderance of candles in my house. On the dining room tables, the kitchen counter, the top of the fridge, in my bedroom, on the bookshelves (ok, not a wise sounding idea, but those are ones that aren’t going to get lit for a while). It’s one of my most stereotypical Femme/feminine traits; I LOVE candles. Especially good smelling ones.

Well, luckily, Babeland was kind enough to give me an Afterglow Candle (by Jimmy Jane) to review.

In the little box that arrived, I got the candle (which is a really good sized candle), a GIANT box of matches (score!) and a little brush. When you light the candle, and it melts, it turns into massage oil, which feels phenomenal when poured warm onto the skin.

Brush wise, I have to say I didn’t get it. I’m not sure why you’re supposed to use a brush to put oil/wax onto the skin. It just didn’t work for me. However, it is my cat’s (Kinsey) absolute new favorite toy – even more loved then his decimated peacock feather. So it certainly has it’s uses.

I got the Figleaf scent…and it was AMAZING. I lit it, and immediately, a soft but delicious smell started to fill the room. It was a little flowery, but not too much so…and it wasn’t super strong, which can ruin a moment. No no – it was ideal. And mmmm.

We let the candle burn as we played, and then she poured some of the wax/oil onto my back. As she rubbed it in, the tension left me completely. It started, after 10-15 minutes to absorb into my skin, leaving my skin soft and smelling delightful. A small amount was dropped on my nightstand, but it later hardened back into wax, and was easy to get off with a finger nail.

I love this candle. So far, it’s my favorite massage oil candle, and it’s also a great into for people who want to try wax play, but don’t want to start with “real” wax. It has a very low burning temp, making it great for anyone! Five stars, out of five!

For your very own warm, loving and caring (hey, I can anthropomorphize a candle, right?) Afterglow Candle, just click here!

-Essin’ Em

As we all know, I have a leopard print fetish. Love sac, photo albums, sheets, negligees, pillows, purse, gloves – you name it, I probably have it in leopard print. Ergo, when a certain sex toy company happened to start carrying the Liberator Ramp in LEOPARD PRINT, you can imagine the cravings I felt. Luckily, they decided to reward me (and wish me a happy birthday), and guess what arrived on my doorstep? Yeah, you got it!

So, I’ve never had a piece of sex toy furniture that was made specifically for sex. I mean, sure, I’ve re-commissioned pillows into wedges, I’ve used counters and couches. I even have an amazing Fascinator Throe that keeps my bed from getting wet/lubey/waxy/etc. But no “real” furniture.

Ergo, I was incredibly excited to give this a try. Even better, it showed up on my doorstep on my actual birthday…

I was demonstrating all the positions you could do with it. You can put it at the end of the bed, be bent over and fucked from behind. You can do doggy style on the bed. You can lean someone up against it, bending your legs until you’re half a pretzel, and get fucked. You can lean down over it it, resting your head on the bed quite comfortable, giving you ideal g-spot or p-spot access. This is bloody brilliant.

However, I have to say that I think the most brilliant use for it is for oral sex on on a woman…I’m not sure how this works for sucking cock (of any variety), but if you’re going down on a woman, and have her lie back, scootching her butt to the edge of the ramp – and BAM! Perfect position to eat some cunt. You don’t have to have the same kind of neck cramps, and you have so much more easy access. Freaking genius. And as the woman on the receiving end, it feels AMAZING.

The soft, microsuede cover feels soft and gentle against your skin – no chance of rug burn here. Better yet, you can unzip it, and it is machine washable, so you can share the ramp with partners, use lubes without fear of it getting gross after time, etc. Moreover, there is an awesome cover to put on it when it’s not in use, so you don’t need to worry about it getting dusty.

Only problem I had with this miraculous ramp was the storage issue – it’s fairly sizeable, and while it kinda sorta fits on the top shelf of my closest, it’s certainly not the best solution. I’ve contemplated leaving it out in my living room with the rest of my leopard print items, but I can’t really find a place for it. If you’re living in a one bedroom apartment like me, I would think about where you might put it before you get it.

Otherwise, this is probably one of my favorite, and most useful sexuality items I’ve had the pleasure of review. Also, you can use it for other things, like stretching, fancy yoga poses, or as a back pillow for reading in bed. Lots of uses, lots of fun, and I bet you now want your very own Liberator Ramp (and don’t worry – it comes in other colors than leopard print.

-Essin’ Em

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the only vibrator you’ll ever need again.

I mean, that’s really the entire review of it. It is one of the top selling items at Babeland, but elsewhere as well. Pretty much every sex toy retailer sells more Hitachis than anything else. Why? Because they are freaking amazing.

Someone once asked me how I’d describe the Hitachi. If a normal orgasm is like a rainstorm, the Hitachi is a like a tsunami. If a normal orgasm is like a Hershey’s kiss, a Hitachi is like Godiva. If a normal orgasm is like a shot of McCormicks, the Hitachi is Grey Goose. Get it yet?

It plugs into the wall. That’s right; no batteries, no waiting for it to recharge. Super green and environmentally friendly. Plus, the Hitachi has been around for decades upon decades. As they say, if it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it. The Hitachi is amazing. It’s wonderful. It’s perfect.

I give them as presents to people. I recommend them to people. I take people to get their first vibrator, and help them get Hitachis. They are the best toys you’ll ever own.

You can also use them as back massagers…I know it sounds kind of odd, but I mean, that IS what they were designed for. I have definitely used them to get the kinks out, and in this case, kink is not a synonym for orgasm.

There are also all kinds of attachments you can use (silicone, of course), for vaginal penetration, for anal penetration, for additional clitoral stimulation.

Basically, this is the most wonderful and amazing sex toy you can and will ever buy. I am not kidding. I am not guilty of hyperbole. You can use it alone, during intercourse, on a partner, with a partner. Use it for sex, use it for back massages.

Get a Hitachi Magic Wand. I cannot recommend it any higher. If I had to get rid of every single sex toy I own (and I own more than 150), and only keep one, I’d keep the Hitachi.

-Essin’ Em

I love chocolate. I love touching people. I love skin. Ergo, the Lovers Paintbox was obviously a brilliant choice for me.

Instead of playing with these with a partner/lover, I decided to get a wider range of opinions, and I took this kit with me to my birthday party. I figured that we might wind up playing a game like Truth or Dare (yes, I’m in my 20’s, but it’s a damn good game), and it’s always good to have…options…when playing that kind of game.

Good plan. A few rounds in, I was dared to paint my name in chocolate on Sasha Sappho’s cleavage. I did, in a variety of flavors and colors (cause this had three flavors/colors; dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and white chocolate). And then I was challenged to lick it off…which took freaking forever.

I’ve tried out a chocolate body pain before, by Shunga. It was fairly liquidy, like chocolate syrup. These chocolate paints were different – thicker, chocolatier, etc. I glanced at the brush, but honestly, it was way too big for the task at hand, so I just used my fingers. If you wanted thicker lines, it would be just fine…I’ve also used a variety of little make up brushes (clean, unused of course).

General consensus was that the chocolates tasted good, although they were a little too sweet. Also, no one was a very big fan of the vanilla – I thought it has a bit of a strange after taste.

All in all, it was a ton on fun, especially in a group setting, and having used chocolate body paint before, I know it’s a lot of fun between just two people. However, keep in mind that if you’re going to lick it off, you shouldn’t use a lot, as it takes a lot of licks to get a little off. A great alternative is do your masterpiece, lick a little, and then take a fun, hot and steamy shower together.

Even better – right now, the Lovers Painbox is on sale! Even full price, you get a ton of body paint (we only used a tiny hint of it), and right now, you get a super duper deal, thanks to VibeReview.

-Essin’ Em