Tiff Is Shameless

When Addiction Takes Someone You Love

2014-02-04T06:29:00.001-05:00

In light of recent events surrounding the death of an actor who was, without a doubt, phenomenally talented (Obviously I'm referring to Phillip Seymour Hoffman). I've seen some horrible and disturbing opinions regarding those who suffer (and believe me they suffer) from addictions of all forms. I've seen people say they have no sympathy for someone who dies because of their addiction. I've seen people actually say they don't have any compassion for someone who quote "throws their life away" as if it's as simple as that. It just confirms how little our society really cares to understand (even those who personally know addicts) how addiction works or actually DO something other than saying "addicts are bad people" or "addicts are criminals and deserve punishment" etc. People are content with assuming people should be alright once they've gone to rehab. They don't even want to understand that rehabilitation for someone who has had an addiction is a lifelong struggle. It will never be as simple as putting down the needle or the bottle of pills or alcohol. If it were that simple would we even be having the so called "War On Drugs" or have so many laws regarding drugs? Would people who have spent several years in prison have such a hard time staying clean on parole? Believe me when I say more people relapse on parole than those that don't. My husband sees this every single day in his job as a parole officer. Now why am I so upset at all the negativity surrounding the way in which Phillip Seymour Hoffman died? Let me tell you a little story:

The first time I ever experienced real loss (at least in the eyes of a child) was when my imaginary friend "died" after I made some friends when we moved into our house. I was around 4 1/2 or 5. It was before I'd started kindergarten. He was so real to me and I was so distraught that I had a funeral for him in my front yard. I'd dug a little hole and sang a Whitney Houston song ("I'm Saving All My Love For You" with some of the lyrics changed to reflect that I was saving all my love for burying Speaky. I have no idea why that was his name but whatever. I was a kid with a wildly active imagination.). Why is this important for this post? Because it was important to my mom. She had seen and heard me through the screen door. She loved to tell the story. She'd indulged me in always including Speaky in everything. I got a cookie? So did Speaky.

I wish I could say my mom was the soccer mom who drove me and my brother to school and sports functions or who attended everything we did like school concerts or events like that. The one time she DID help out with a Girl Scouts function she was drunk and slurring her words. The one time I can remember her going to a Parent/Teacher Conference was when I was in the 4th grade and she was also drunk that time as well and my teacher knew it. Everyone knew it. They just didn't talk about it. For me, it was just part of my life.

I loved my mom. When she was sober, her smile could light up a room. She was funny and goofy and would even curl my hair or do my makeup. She'd rub my back until her arm practically fell off. She'd always say "Goodmight. I love you. See you in the morning." when she tucked me in. She'd let me watch scary movies when I'd beg her ( With the warning that I could watch only if I wouldn't sneak in my parents' bedroom if I got scared. A warning I often ignored and she let me). She'd let me help her cook and make things like pumpkin pie or cookies. I loved to do the fork marks in the peanut butter cookies (they just didn't taste the same without them). Even after my parents got divorced and my father got full custody, she'd come over or I'd get to visit her wherever she was living at the time. Why am I telling you about all these seemingly normal things? Because I come across far too many people who almost dehumanize addicts. She may have been a severe alcoholic, but she was still my mother. She had sisters and brothers who loved her. She had friends. She was loved. She lied, stole manipulated when her addiction got worse but she was mom and I didn't care. I remember when she was going to take me to the fair in Eastlake, OH. She didn't have a job, nor could she keep one. My dad couldn't afford to take us either no matter how badly he wanted to. She promised me though that if I let her sell my keyboard I had gotten for Christmas that she would use the money to take me. It was ok because, according to her, we would get it back because the pawn shop would hold it for a shirt time until she could buy it back. I didn't even care about that. I wanted to go and I wanted her to go with me. So we went. I rode one ride and she used the leftover money to buy beer. Then we had to leave because there wasn't any more money for tickets to ride more rides. I should have been downright pissed at her. I felt a little bit disappointed but it didn't matter because I got to spend a little bit of time with her even if she may not have been completely truthful. Of course I never saw that keyboard again. My dad was so angry. More at her than me of course. She steadily got worse with drinking to the point where it was the first thing she did when she woke up. Once she had been out drinking with people she didn't even know and they dumped her on our front lawn passed out. It was one of the times I knew my dad still loved her because he wanted to find the people who casually dumped her there like a bag of trash. I very rarely saw my dad get angry like he was that day.

She died when I was 11 after a couple of weeks in the hospital. She went in and out of comas. The first few nights she was there she would hallucinate. Sometimes she'd be awake and alert. Those were the times she would cry and say how embarrassed and disappointed in herself she was. She couldn't even have the photos of me and my brother facing her because she felt she was such a complete failure as a mother. Most of the time she was in a coma and eventually put on life support. Her liver was essentially dead. The doctors called a meeting when her kidneys failed and she needed dialysis to keep her alive. My dad insisted that my brother and I be in the meeting even though the doctors thought it unwise. My dad refused to let us be lied to. I want to say they gave her something like a 15% chance of survival. She couldn't get a transplant even though she was only 34. Only just over 2 years older than my age now. They don't give transplants to alcoholics. She swelled up and turned an awful color yellow because her body couldn't fight the toxins in her body without her liver and kidneys. Eventually I told her one day when she was in a coma that it was ok to stop fighting. I forgave her and was not mad at her. I prayed she would die. I actually prayed that my own mother would finally give in and die because even at 11 I knew it meant she wouldn't be suffering anymore if she did. The day she died my dad picked me up at my bus stop. I knew right then that it must have been close to the end for her because my dad never left work early without a seriously good reason. When we got there they'd taken her off of life support, something I know was a difficult decision for her siblings to make. She was actually awake. I actually got to say goodbye after all the time she was in a coma, the one day she was awake was the same day she passed. It wasn't until later that night that she died surrounded by her closest siblings. We had gotten to the hospital minutes too late. I remember so vividly asking my dad when we left why he was crying when he and my mom were divorced. That was another time I found out my dad still loved her. His response was "Because the mother of my children just died." He was hurting just as badly as we were. The asshole she was living with at the time didn't come to her funeral. That was yet another time I knew my dad loved her still. He swore if he ever saw the guy he'd seriously harm him. Later my aunt Phyllis confirmed that he told her that day he'd still loved her but her alcoholism made it too difficult to stay married.

So what's the point of my telling this long winded and sad story in a public way? The point is that addiction is complicated. My mom loved us. I knew she did. I knew she loved my dad and never got over their divorce. It made things even worse in terms of her drinking. She was an extremely sad drinker. She'd put on sad songs and cry when she'd be wasted. She'd drink until she would pass out and I would stay awake to make sure she wouldn't swallow her tongue (I was a kid. I didn't know that you couldn't really swallow your tongue in the sense that I was thinking at the time.). She'd cry about giving my sister up because she was only a teenager when she'd gotten pregnant by a guy who didn't have any business sleeping with a sixteen year old girl whose mother was dying of cancer at the time. My grandpa had died when she was just a kid. She already smoked by this point and was hanging out with a guy who eventually went to prison for drugs but who left her with a moral dilemma. Her mother died when she was about 3 months pregnant. I'm sure she didn't tell her. Luckily, I know my sister. I grew up knowing her because she was adopted by extended family. My mom never got over the guilt she felt over giving her up. Another blow to her already long line of devastating life experiences. Add all of that to someone with an addictive personality and you get an addict. She tried more than once to get sober and stay that way. Unfortunately like many addicts, she never stopped hanging out with her friends who were also alcoholics and addicts themselves. I believe wholeheartedly my mother needed help for her mental health not just her addiction. People always want to assume that people make a simple choice to take that first hit or first drink, but they don't want to acknowledge the fact that there are so many layers of issues underneath. So maybe our society needs to rethink what we do about addiction. Prison doesn't stop them. Brief stays in rehab and detox don't help but what about trying to give help for what is underneath the drug addiction itself. The reason they thought to turn to drugs and alcohol in the first place? I don't have a perfect solution. I just find it hurtful for someone to so callously say they don't deserve compassion or sympathy. I'm not saying we should enable them or not hold them accountable for their actions. However, losing the trust of loved ones, not being able to hold a job, having the stigma of being labeled as an addict and treated like crap, or paying the ultimate price with their lives, as was the situation with Phillip Seymour Hoffman or my mother, is not to be ignored when it comes to accountability for their decisions.

Please keep that in mind. People with addictions are after all only human. We all make mistakes and bad decisions. Unfortunately for some it turns into a nightmare that not everyone can easily overcome.

Hmm...

2011-04-27T10:44:00.001-04:00

I kmow I've been MIA for awhile but I was told my blog wasn't working. If it is now and y see thisplease let me know...otherwise, you obviously don't see it so it doesn't matter lol.

Thanks,
Tiff

Time flies...whether you're having fun or not.

2011-04-04T21:08:00.000-04:00

So I noticed I haven't been posting much lately. The usual excuse applies here. I had so much to do in my regular everyday life that I haven't had the time nor the energy to sit down and write anything worth reading. Still in class until the first week of May so hopefully this summer I can find something interesting to write about. I've really just been hanging around playing games on my iPad and reading for classes. It seems like this year is flying by so fast. I can't even believe it's already April. I'm trying to figure out what fun things I can do to pass the time this summer if I can't find a job to tide me over. Definitely planning to try and see my sister and see my best friend. It's been way too long since I've seen either. Sometimes you really need that sort of thing to help keep from going insane. If you live in small town USA like I do (and are a transplant, like I am, from the city) you need to get away once in awhile. I can't even go to the movies or the mall without having to drive an hour. I'm surrounded by mountains, farms and two Wal-Marts.....and that's basically it, so I need to find a way to go somewhere other than the middle of BFE to do something fun. What better way could there be than seeing your best friend or your sister? :)
Anyway, that's all for now folks, I've got nothing witty or funny to talk about....oh, other than the fact that last night I swear I saw a zombie.....ok, it might have been an old woman walking like she SHOULD be a zombie, but still. It was freaky. I really need to stop reading and watching anything zombie related.

Have a good week!
*hugs*
Tiff

Play Time's Over, or IS it?

2011-03-15T15:55:00.000-04:00

You ever get those days (or weeks, years...maybe even lifetimes) where you just feel like the world is spinning far too fast and erratically that you can't get your footing long enough to feel you've actually accomplished something? Well, I somehow find myself feeling like that yet again. With gas prices going up I had to drop two of my classes this semester. Family medical issues (not mine) have also forced things into a different direction. So here I am yet again trying to figure out exactly what has to be done when it seems like everybody else around me has gotten to a happy point in their lives where they seem to be enjoying themselves. Don't get me wrong, I like being an adult (sometimes) but sometimes being an adult really sucks. When I was a kid, making mud pies or dressing up and pretending to be a Disney Princess or a unicorn or whatever else I could imagine up at the time was the only thing I ever worried about. Wouldn't that be nice to have a place to go where everything stands still long enough for you to catch your breath and use your imagination again? That's one of the reasons I love the book, The Little Prince, so much. It appeals to children but there's a message there for us adults that I think could do a lot of people some good to look into. We forget what it's like to just pretend and imagine something fantastical and magical like we did as kids. Can't we try to see the world the way a child sees it and believe that it is perfectly logical? Why not? Why isn't there more ways for adults to play and have fun (without the use of mind altering substances)? After all doesn't "All work and no play make Jack a dull boy"? Why can't I have a magical castle with mythical creatures to protect it? Why can't I have a sword that transforms me into a cool evil fighting princess like She-ra did? How many times I imagined myself in a totally made up world when I was a kid can't even be counted. I loved that. I believed it. I wish I still did. In the meantime, I'm gonna try not to grow up TOO much.

Go out and play!
-Tiff

OMG It has begun, I'm not a little girl anymore! O_O

2011-03-10T14:58:00.000-05:00

And so today marks the last year of my 20s. I don't feel any older than yesterday and yet I feel that biological clock ticking and panic setting in that I'm not going to be that young girl I was when I first began my 20s. Of course, I'm not that girl anymore even now but it makes it that much more permanent and final lol. I wish I was somewhere other than the middle of B.F.E. so I could have a proper celebration. Right now it's just me, the crickets, maybe a banjo and my husband and his parents. Which isn't a bad thing, I just feel like there aren't even any options to do anything awesome for your birthday around here.

*hugs*
Tiff

The Kitteh! Meet Murphy

2011-03-04T17:28:00.000-05:00


Officer Alex J. Murphy (aka Murphy)

So I introduced my other snuggle butt so here's my kitty, Murphy. Yes, his name is technically what the caption says as he's named after my favorite cyborg cop, Robocop. Of course we call him Murphy. He's a little shit that likes to sleep on my pillow and sometimes on my head. Once in awhile he wants to lie with one paw on my cheek like he's hugging my head. He's cute and purrs louder than any cat I've ever had. And yet, he's the biggest attention whore! I mean, he will be all up on your nuts when you're trying to get work done. But I guess it's just my "Ace Ventura" gene once again showing itself. He'll follow me around all over the house. He even wants to be in my lap when I'm trying to have a private moment on the damn toilet! lol. He demands it. So, there's Murphy my sometimes lovable and always needy kitteh!

I think he was watching Pineapple Express here. lol.

So there's Murphy :) Enjoy!

*hugs*

Tiff

Napoleon: Adventures of a French Bulldog

2011-02-26T23:14:00.001-05:00

I make this banana hat look good and you know it!

So here's a picture I took this week of Napoleon in the hat that came with his banana costume (from two Halloween's ago). He doesn't really like stuff on his head but my husband decided to put the hat on him just to see if he'd wear it. This is one of the pictures I managed to get of him looking all smug. Seriously, I cannot love this little man enough haha. He's so funny. Personally, it made me think of a smurf when I saw the hat on him haha. I don't know what I'd do without my stinky little Frenchie.

It's hard work being a Frenchie.

Just thought I'd share the fun :)

Hugs,
Tiff

Comment Problems?

2011-02-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

Hi all, I was made aware that for some reason the option to leave comments wasn't working. I removed a gadget at the bottom so hopefully that's fixed. I wont know until somebody tries it so if you try to send me a comment on one of my posts and it doesn't work, shoot me an email at thespiraldown@gmail.com and I will look into it further. I'm not all that great at that kind of thing but I'll find somebody who might know what's wrong with it if what I did doesn't fix it. So thanks :)

*hugs*

Happy V Day!

2011-02-14T15:16:00.001-05:00

Yes, it's the day when everybody goes out and spends far more money than they need to on the people they either: love, care about, are friends with or maybe just want to get laid by. My favorite are the ones that have only been dating for like 2 weeks and it's like a huge deal to them. "OH MY GOD IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY AND I GET TO SPEND IT WITH MY SWEETIE! (I hope he gets me that necklace or ring I've been wanting for 10 years but didn't have anybody to buy it for me")..... I swear guys are suckers. Why do you let yourselves get roped into all kinds of craziness over girls you barely know? And girls, what the hell is wrong with you? You don't NEED to be with somebody on Valentine's Day just because it's Valentine's Day. Hell, find some friends and go hang out with them. I hear everybody get all sad and depressed that they don't have anybody on Valentine's Day....what about the other 364 days of the year that you don't have anybody? Why is it on this one day you get all sad and depressed and eat a half gallon...or maybe an entire gallon of ice cream? (don't worry, I do that sort of thing and I'm married!). *sigh* I hope everybody has a great time today because I know there's a big social expectation to go do something hopelessly and disgustingly romantic on February 14th every year. Personally, I'm probably going to just sit at home, eat cheesecake, play around on www.getglue.com and maybe watch some 30 Rock on Netflix streaming. That's my kind of Valentine's Day.......Lord, I'm getting old!!

But in all seriousness, have a safe, fun, romantic (if that's your thing) Valentine's Day and I hope you get to spend some quality time with the ones you love, whether they be friends, family, boyfriends/girlfriends, or spouses. Just take the time to appreciate them. No need to spend insane amounts of money because Hallmark tells you to.

Hugs,
Tiff.

Valentine's Day (Rant)

2011-02-11T23:19:00.001-05:00

So anybody actually celebrating Valentine's Day? I wonder sometimes if there's something wrong with me because I can't get into the spirit of Valentine's Day according to how we're supposed to celebrate it in the United States. I don't see how candy is supposed to be more exciting to me on that day of the year when I happen to love candy just as much every other day. I can go buy it without having silly little sayings on it that are supposed to be all happy and romantic. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my husband and I love getting gifts, but I don't understand why a day that was originally a feast day for a Saint got turned into the consumer driven machine that it is today. I don't want my husband to buy me a gift because he feels obligated. If he sees something he thinks I'd like and happens to get it then that's nice. Especially if it's out of the blue and not on a day that stores everywhere tell you that they have the perfect gift for your lady. I'd rather spend the money on something we both enjoy anyway that we'd do whether it was a holiday or not. So, I guess I can give one piece of advice to people. If you care about somebody there are lots of ways you can show it without having to go out and buy a silly card, roses, chocolates, a stuffed animal etc. Don't feel pressured to have to go crazy on gifts. Personally, my husband and I generally just discuss things we might want or we just say, forget getting a gift and we'll spend the money on something cool. Well, anyway I'm ranting. I guess I just think it's a little bit silly and it makes me sort of uncomfortable when romance is forced on you because it's what's expected from you on that day of the year. But that's just me.

What do you think? Do you think Valentine's Day and other holidays like that have gotten out of control with consumerism etc. that they've completely lost touch with what it was meant for in the first place? I know I certainly feel that way about several holidays. Valentine's Day is definitely one of them.

What's in a name?

2011-02-05T17:49:00.000-05:00

    I have spent a lot of time looking up names online and in baby name books just because I love learning what names mean. I love to write (although I tend not to actually finish a lot of what I start) and I love having names that suite the character’s personality/profession or maybe something that the character might become later on in the story (leaving it up to the reader to actually figure out what the name means or figuring out exactly how it fits that character).

My Pets' names:
    -Murphy (my cat named for Officer Alex J. Murphy aka Robocop)
    -Napoleon (my french bulldog named for Napoleon Bonaparte)
    -used to have a Betta fish named Malcolm (for Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly and Serenity) he died though. I did have a picture of the ship, Serenity, taped to the back of his bowl though to give him a cool atmosphere. What can I say? I’m a weird nerd like that.
    -my cat that I had as a kid was She-ra, and to this day I still think She-ra was an awesome character.


Anyway, I love names. It’s fascinating. I thought I'd just ramble on about a little of what I was thinking regarding them.

A quick thank you and my big obsession of the moment

2011-02-03T10:28:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone for reading my crazy ramblings. I may not have a huge number of followers at the moment but it's nice at there are a few of you out there willing to stop by and read :). So Thanks a million times over, and hopefully I'll have at least a couple of new posts in the next couple of days.

So, for a couple of months now I've been OBSESSED with GetGlue. If you dint know it, go to www.GetGlue.com and check it out. You can meet a ton of people by checking into your favorite movies, shows, music, topics, games, etc. I've been having a great time talking to people all over the world with interests at are similar to mine. The cool thing is, you can also earn free stickers! Since I love stickers it was a no brainer. I've already gotten my first batch of 20 stickers, including ones for the shows The Walking Dead and Bones. It's a lot of fun, but I won't tell you what to do (Yes I will, GO bosses to GetGlue.com).

Anywho, peace out and lots of hugs,
Tiff

Things I Definitely Do Not Like

2011-01-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

Soooo, the last blog was about things I like or that make me happy. Now I figured I'd go ahead and do a quick list of things that I dislike or annoy me. HAH here it goes:

~When people (usually girls but I suppose it could be guys too) have their thongs showing. Call me old fashioned but I like to leave a little bit to the imagination. All that does is scream "I want attention" and yet I still see it all the time.

~The fact that Harry Dresden is not a real person. (Read the Dresden Files series of books by Jim Butcher if you're confused. These books are so awesome).

~People who talk on their cell phones while using a public restroom. I doubt anybody wants to hear you dropping a deuce. Seriously. One of these days I'm going to shout out something to embarrass them.

~People who fart in elevators...That's not right. I"m serious. You think I don't know it was you when you were the only one in there? *sigh*

~When people say Anthropologists/Archaeologists study dinosaurs.....*face palm* NO they don't. I had an argument once with a girl who insisted that Anthropologists/Archaeologists studied dinosaurs and she kept telling me I was wrong. I HAVE A DEGREE IN ANTHROPOLOGY. I would think I'm aware of what they study. *loud sigh* Don't get me wrong, I was obsessed with dinosaurs when I was little. I mean, really obsessed. Eventually though, I wanted to study people instead.

~When people call chimpanzees/gibbons/gorillas/orangutans...and refer to humans as monkeys. APES we're freaking APES. There is a big difference. This happens so often that I've tried very hard to ignore it but it's difficult when you've spent years going to school for something where this is beaten into your brain. Here's a huge clue: If the primate has a tail, then it is a monkey....if not then it is an ape. If they just have a little tuft instead of where a long tail would be....once again, it's an ape not a monkey.

~No 3rd season of Flight of the Conchords. I think this is depressing.

~The fact that my best friend and I do not have a time machine. There are so many people we'd like to visit back when they were a little younger ;)

~The fact that I have never seen David Bowie live....this needs remedied.

~The fact that all the foods I like are horrible for you and make you fat haha. Including cheesecake O_o

~When your dog "dutch ovens" you when you're trying to sleep. Yes, my dog does this. He's too damn smart.

Anyway, there's thousands of things I don't like but I can't think of anymore right now to put on here.
I'm sure this gives you a sense of who I am at least a little haha.

Hugs,
Tiff

A List of Things I Like

2011-01-26T17:16:00.000-05:00

Now, I'm a pretty cynical person at times, especially as I get older. However, I decided I'll make a little list of things that I actually like or can make me happy. So, here are a few of those things:

~Friends and family (an obvious one I suppose, it's pretty much a required like when you win an Oscar and you always say "I wanna thank the Lord, my family...etc. etc.") Nah, I do love them ^_^

~Fireworks (the actual stuff that blows up with pretty colors...not the Katy Perry song in case you were confused).

~Sleep

~Reading (books usually)...OK, I read stupid celebrity gossip crap too what can I say?

~Terrible jokes (i.e. two peanuts walking down the road....one was a salted)....

~The sound of drums....especially if the person beating on them actually knows how to use them.

~Cooking out on a grill...this is pretty much the only way I can eat a hot dog...why do people boil them? O_o

~Visiting historical locations/sites...This one seems like it should be pretty obvious....degree in Anthropology? Check....back in school to teach History......check...obsession with historical documentaries? Check.....can't stop watching infomercials when they're on...wait, no that's not right.

~Sparkly things....except vampires for God's sake. The only time I want to see a vampire "sparkle" is when I light them on fire.

~When technology actually works...I know, it's so elusive but when it happens it's the same kind of reaction as the double rainbow guy (at least for me).....that's if I didn't break it before it actually started to work again..............*crickets*

~Watching movies...especially really bad ones that make me laugh.

~Music...ya know, I don't know a single person who doesn't like music.

~Not having a headache...this one is crucial to happiness.

~Food...seems essential...there's a whoooole bunch of foods I love which is a blog post all on its own.

~Expensive makeup even when I don't wear it very often (it's an addiction, leave me alone!)

~Dogs with squishy faces and big ears
~Dogs in general
~Cats
~Ok, most animals....I have what I call the Ace Ventura gene....I need to write a separate blog on that.

~Candy...how can that not be full of happiness (and lots of calories)?

~I guess laughing should be on this list too. I generally enjoy doing that.

~People who are really organized.....because I'm not one of those people.

~Office supplies/School supplies....What? Is that weird?

~Nail polish

~Foreign accents...I swear I love hearing people talk when they have different accents.

~My ginourmous Star Wars mug that I like to drink hot chocolate from.
~Hot Chocolate

~Googly eyes (I feel that every inanimate object should have at least one set of googly eyes)

~Grape Soda

~Bad...and I mean baaaaad, 80s movies.

~The smell of Scotch tape....What is that weird too? I don't know why....shut up, leave me alone.

~Science Fiction/Fantasy.....yeah yeah I'm a freaking geek. You're so jealous.

~ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o71kCuva4B4 <----That. All I can say is I'm mesmerized.

I'm sure as soon as I post this I'll think of thousands of other things to add but I think that's enough for now...I suppose I can always go back and make another post in the future about new things that amuse me. Don't worry, I have a whole list of things I can't stand to post one of these days too! So that's a warning to be prepared ;)

Hugs,
Tiff

<----Love these things...I need to get some so I can put them on things.

Apparently My Dog Is A Complete Wuss.

2011-01-24T19:13:00.000-05:00

(Napoleon, courtesy of my cell phone)

Apparently my beloved French Bulldog, Napoleon, likes to puss out when we bust out the shooting games on the xbox 360. Yep, while my husband has been playing Gears of War, Gears of War 2 (which I played too until I kept getting blown up into pieces, but it was fun while it lasted), Call of Duty: Black Ops, Halo:Reach, Halo: ODST, etc, etc....the dog decides to crawl into my lap, curl up as small as a 25 pound dog with huge ears can, and then proceed to shake. I swear he channels his inner chihuahua (I've never seen a dog shake in sheer terror like a chihuahua can). He looks at me with a sad look like the gunfire is actually going on in our bedroom in real life. I mean, I'd probably crap myself too if it was but it's just games.

(An example of Napoleon pussing out)

Of course, he's a dog, and while French Bulldogs are ridiculously smart (trust me, my dog is TOO smart), they don't know that it's completely fake. Although, the volume isn't even all that loud. Still, I'm disappointed that I named him Napoleon and then he goes and pusses out like a little bitch. Oh well, he's still ridiculously cute and a complete and total snuggle butt so I guess I'll cut him some slack. That is if I give him a banana (one of his favorite treats of all time, that he'd kill a man for). I guess he thinks he's a big, bad dog until the guns start firing.

(another photo...also courtesy of my cell phone)

Hugs,
Tiff

Awesome games that might make your dog want to shit him/herself:

Not Down With The Sickness

2011-01-15T21:55:00.001-05:00

Ugh! I feel like crawling into a dark hole somewhere and coughing up at least one if not both of my lungs right now. I probably look like I could be an extra on The Walking Dead (which I SHOULD be dammit!!). I will blame this on my husband mainly because he was sick before me (or at least had symptoms). It makes me so mad when he gets sick because he usually gets over it quickly and with a lot less problems. I on the other hand, get this gross, horrible, ridiculously annoying bronchitis thing going on. Thankfully I've never had it turn into pneumonia, seeing as I already have asthma to make me more miserable. It's just not helpful to float around in a fog from Mucinex all day long when I need to be studying/reading junk for my classes that just started up. The snow is bad enough, I don't need to be wheezing and coughing on people while also slipping on the damn ice. Aaaaaanyway, hopefully I'll come up with an amusing or witty blog soon when I have full function of my respiratory system again.

<---They need me in Season 2, they just don't realize it so they haven't called.

Hugs,
Tiff

P.S.......

<---------That right there, helps this crappy cough. Just so you know.

Public Restroom 101: Stop Being Nasty

2011-01-13T18:58:00.002-05:00

You know what really grosses me out? A lot of things but many of them have to do with what I observe (not that I'm actually LOOKING at anybody) have to do with public bathrooms. Now, being a woman, I wouldn't know a great deal about what the Men's room would look like but I feel that women have a serious lack of knowledge on how to use a public restroom properly. I guess what I'm really getting at is, have some freaking courtesy when using them. Other people have to go in after you and do their business. I would hope people would want a relatively clean experience while doing what needs to be done in there, so how about not leaving a disgusting mess? I am starting to believe that there needs to be a 101 class on how to use a public bathroom. I mean really? What is wrong with you people? I know that for many, this is an embarrassing and uncomfortable topic but I am going to give you some tips to help make EVERYONE have a better experience when they can't wait until they get home to do their business.

1. The courtesy flush....Now, I've never met a single human being whose shit did not stink. Quit fooling yourself. You certainly aren't fooling me if I'm in the stall next to you. With that being said, it's a natural thing and nobody can get away with NOT doing it (unless they are ill). But be a sweetheart and flush once in awhile to help minimize the possibility that I am going to gag while trying to pee in the stall next to you.

2. Flush the damn toilet...Countless times I have gone into a public bathroom and there is at least one toilet that has a disgusting mess in it or evidence that some nasty ass person just didn't flush. Ok, first and foremost, that is freaking disgusting and second, you should be ashamed of yourself to be that gross. Just flush the damn thing so nobody else has to look at what you ate earlier. Thank you very much.

3. Clean the hell up after yourself...I don't know how many people know this statistic but Hepatitis (as in B and C) can live for up to 7 days in a single drop of blood. Ladies, I think you know what I'm getting at here. We all have to deal with that friendly little visitor once a month and chances are you'll end up having to use a public restroom at one time or another with said visitor. Don't leave that shit on the toilet seat. I can't even count how many times I've gone into a stall and seen that. Why should I have to clean up something like that? Clean that stuff up if you see you made a mess. It's courteous and a hell of a lot safer for others.
*If you are a woman who goes into a stall with that on it, I would highly recommend you use a different one....see above statistic about Hepatitis.

4. Wash your freaking hands...I don't care how many companies make hand sanitizer, when you use the restroom, wash them. WITH SOAP AND WARM WATER. Hand sanitizer is not a cure all. There are some times that you should actually wash your hands and after using the bathroom is one of them. Yeah, I know that they claim to kill something like 99.something percent of all germs blah blah blah. Notice it is not 100%? Also, if you have debris on your hands or under your nails, that makes it harder for the hand sanitizer to even get to all of it. Just be a dear and wash with the standard soap and water. Also, I know this is not the place you want to hang around for any longer than you have to but you should wash them for at the very least for the time it takes for you to either sing the alphabet song or twinkle twinkle little star....

I hope this little bit of advice helps. Otherwise, quit being gross.

Hugs,
Tiff

And it begins again

2011-01-11T10:31:00.000-05:00

For those that care, classes started up again so it might take a few days for me to get the energy to write a decent post. I hope everyone is having a good week. It's cold here but personally, I'd rather be cold than hot...that's just me though. It makes me miss Ohio even more. I suppose WV isn't THAT bad......I actually do enjoy Marshall University. After graduating from Ohio State, I like the smaller classes where professors actually remember your name. Anyway, good day to you all :) Adios.

Hugs,
Tiff

The Kitten and His Catch

2011-01-04T18:40:00.002-05:00

Ok, so one day back when I was at Ohio State, I was on my way to the main library with my fiance (now my husband) and we saw this tiny little kitten. It was so cute and it made me incredibly sad that I couldn't take it home with me. I felt so horrible and wished there was something I could do. I was afraid it would end up dead for one reason or another and it was already late fall and cold as balls. So I thought about that poor little kitty and hoped I didn't go back and find it dead somewhere near the library. Well, on another day when I had to hike over to the same library with the same fiance (who is still my husband), we saw the same kitten. This time, however, he had a large dead bunny in his mouth. I mean, I say bunny but this was not little by any stretch of the imagination. This was a full grown rabbit. It was bigger than the kitten, and yet this kitten was walking around with it in his mouth like it was no big deal to carry something twice its body weight. I turned to my now husband and simply said something along the lines of "well shit, I guess I don't feel so bad now, that thing can definitely take care of itself." I have no idea if the kitten actually killed the rabbit or if he stumbled across a lucky find with the rabbit already dead. I like to imagine that the kitten jumped out from behind a bush and roared at it and then proceeded to slaughter it like some sort of Spartan warrior or something. I'm pretty sure that there's some sort of great message here, like even those who appear small or weak can kick your chubby ass or something. I don't know. I just thought the kitten with his ginormous catch was awesome. So there you have it.

I swear this picture looks just like that kitten....who knows, maybe it IS. But you get the idea. That kitten was a warrior and badass.

Image via Wikipedia

Hugs,
Tiff

Things That Creep Me Out

2011-01-03T20:33:00.002-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

I'm pretty sure everyone has at least one thing that creeps them the hell out. I have a pretty decent list of things that would fall into that category. So here's some of the things that either weird me out, creep me out or cause a chill to run down my spine (not listed in any particular order):

-Mustaches (on people who can't quite grow a nice full/burly one). Personally, I think it makes you look like a rapist of the pedophile variety.

-Vans with no windows (other than the front ones, obviously). Does this not scream serial killer/crazy rapist to anybody else? Yeah, I thought so.

-Spandex. Is there a single person this material even looks good on? No, the answer is no.

-Robots. The terminator still scares the shit out of me. I don't know what I'd do if one actually showed up.

-Elevators. I have recurring nightmares where I'm in one and it either wont let me out or it tilts in some weird way. I'm not sure why I have them but I do. I've never been on one that malfunctioned but apparently my mind still doesn't like them.

-Boats/Ships. I saw the damn movie Poseidon Adventure (the original, not the remake, Poseidon, because why the hell would I want to watch something that terrifying with even better special effects?) Hell to the no. I've also watched Titanic (as if we didn't already know the ending going into it.) I was forced to go see it, against my will. I am absolutely terrified of ships. I don't even really like going on to ones that are actually docked let alone out where you can't see any land. O_o

-Bodies of Water other than a pool. If I can't see what the hell is swimming around me wanting to eat me or tear off at least some part of me, nope, don't think so!

-The Human Centipede.......I have NOT seen it, but I know what it's about. I don't know why my mind keeps trying to work it out in terms of how it could actually be done. Ugh. I haven't seen Two Girls/One Cup either and it makes me sick to think about. What the hell is wrong with people?

-Things that hiss. Have you ever seen a goose hiss? It's terrifying. They will straight up kill a man.

-Hamsters because they're friggin' evil. Other than the cute little things you buy them that they'll chew the hell through, they are out for blood. Make no mistake about it, they will slaughter a human being and drain them of their blood. I'm not kidding. Never let your child have one of these. Give them a shark or a rabid raccoon....I repeat DO NOT let your child have a hamster! I warned you. Just remember that when you're crying in the emergency room hoping they will reattach your arm for you.

-Tentacles. OMG do I even need to explain?
-Especially the 3rd right tentacle of a male octopus. Trust me. You don't want that thing near you.

-Anything with more than 4 legs. Just no. Keep that shit away from me. I don't care if it's covered in chocolate or that it's dead. Don't think so.

-Feet. Because they're freaking disgusting.

So anyway, I hope you enjoyed my little list of terrifying things. I'm serious about the hamsters!

Have a great day!

Hugs, Tiff

(Nonconsensual) what what....in the butt? That's what being an adult feels like sometimes.

2011-01-02T00:03:00.001-05:00

Son of a....
You ever get the feeling that nothing ever goes right in your life? That is how I've been feeling lately. I just had my windshield replaced a few months back and now I have another crack in the new one because a stupid ginormous truck threw a rock at me when I was driving home not too long ago. To make matters worse, my husband has a giant crack in HIS windshield. I swear, the universe is conspiring against me to force me into insanity. Ugh. Just when I wanted to buy my husband an Xbox 360 for Christmas, there's a bunch of adult/responsibility type crap I have to deal with. I probably wish I was a kid again at least 70 times a day. Who the hell wants to be responsible anyway? In all fairness to adulthood, I certainly wouldn't be able to drink mimosas for New Year's if I were still a child. Also, I hate having to ask permission for anything, not to mention I don't like to be told what to do. So, sometimes being an adult has its advantages....but right now it blows.

Hugs,
Tiff

<----That's what being an adult prevents me from having at the moment! Ohhh but it will be mind. I have a Wii but we end up using it more for Netflix than for playing games....unless of course we're killing zombies playing House of the Dead. That's something I can get into.

Ringing in the New Year...Goodbye 2010.

2010-12-31T19:13:00.000-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

I think I must be getting old because unlike a lot of people, I'm actually NOT getting ready to go out and party the night away until the clock strikes 12. I'm just having a boring night with my husband and my french bulldog...and my cat if he decides to come hang out with us too. We'll probably be watching some of the first season of Rome which I suppose is a party in and of itself. The Romans knew how to have a good time. I did get a bottle of Martini & Rossi Asti so I will at least have a drink or several to compensate for my lack luster partying. I do hope that everyone has a safe and Happy New Year. Please, Please, Pleeeeease, drink responsibly if you are going to drink at all. If not, maybe help your friends get home by being a designated driver? I never make New Years resolutions (because I always make them impossible to achieve) so hopefully I'll do something good in 2011 that in the end will make it a better year than 2010. Take time and reflect on this past year. I think that can help make some resolutions a little more successful if you can assess what you've done and maybe what you really could work on. Anyway, have a Happy, Safe, Super Fun New Years and I hope you get to ring in 2011 in style....even if you're like me hanging out in your room watching television and having a drink while your dog snores under the covers!

Hugs,
Tiff

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

2010-12-24T19:17:00.000-05:00

Image via Wikipedia

I just wanted to tell everyone to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! If you are not Christian then I hope you have a great holiday whatever you may be celebrating this time of year :) Be safe with all your celebrating and I hope everyone is looking forward to the new year ahead of us. It's hard to believe that it will be 2011. I remember as a kid I couldn't wait until 1998 when I'd be 16 and old enough to drive or for 2000 when I'd finally be 18 and an adult haha. Now I kind of wish the clock would stop moving so fast because it feels like the weeks, months and years sneak up awfully fast.
My advice to you for the upcoming year and the future is:
Don't wish your time away because when it finally comes you'll wish you had spent it focusing on what was going on at that time in your life instead of waiting for something to happen in the future when it's never a guarantee. There are so many things I am grateful for in my life but when I think back to when I was a kid I can't help but feel nostalgia and even a little bit of homesickness. I chose the word homesickness for a lot of reasons. After my dad died (my mother having already passed away a year and a half before him) I had to move away from everything I'd ever known and loved in my life. It still feels like I have had two lives. One before my dad's death and then the Second starting when I had to move to a different city, school, etc. I was only 13 then and looking back it's sometimes difficult to believe that I lived through all of that. But we grow up and the past gets a little more distant from us but then we look back and wish we could do some things all over again. Of course, we can't do that so I say, don't keep wishing time would speed up because believe me, it will come and be over with a lot faster than you could ever imagine.

I've never been good at New Year's resolutions but I hope that everyone can come up with something that is achievable. I always find myself trying to set some crazy goal and then I give up quickly on it and forget all about it. So for this coming year, I hope I can pass along something that even one person could benefit from. That alone would make it all worth it.

So remember, be safe and have a great Holiday Season, whatever you are celebrating. I hope everyone rings in the New Year with hope and anticipation for something even better than 2010 has brought.

Love,
Tiff

My Top 10 "Movies That Are So Awesomely Bad, They're Actually Good"

2010-12-16T07:08:00.003-05:00

With the semester finally being over, I figured I'd go ahead and actually write a post since it's been awhile. I was on GetGlue rating movies and it dawned on me that I liked some pretty horrible movies haha. Now, I'm actually a lover of awful movies, especially B Horror movies or anything with Bruce Campbell in it (because he's awesome), or old horror films that when they were first released, they scared the crap out of people but now (due to our complete and total desensitization to sex and violence) are really just hilarious to watch. So here is a list of 10 movies that I actually like that many consider to be awesomely bad.

10. Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)
       I've seen this movie on a lot of lists for bad movies, but for some reason I actually liked it. It may not be as ridiculously awesome as the first one and they probably should have stuck with just one film...I mean, there can be only one, right? ;) And who doesn't like Sean Connery with a terrible fake tan?

9. King of the Zombies (1941)
      Ohhhh, let me count the ways in which this movie is so terrible. I love zombie movies, although this movie isn't about flesh eating, rotting type zombies. It's more along the lines of The Serpent and the Rainbow style zombies like you'd think of coming from Haiti. This movie was actually nominated for an Oscar and while I"m sure it was considered great at the time of it's debut, I find it pretty laughable (and therefore amusing).

8. The Mad (2007)
     Dear Billy Zane, where has your career gone? Actually, I think he was fabulous in this film and quite funny. Another zombie style movie where people become infected by eating tainted meat (a la Mad Cow Disease) and become creepy zombies. However, one of the most laughed at scenes by myself and my husband is when a hamburger patty attacks one of the characters. Yes, the meat actually attacks as well as those infected. Oh boy. This movie is definitely worthy of being on a Top 10 Bad Movie list but somehow Billy Zane seemed to make it worth my time.

Image via Wikipedia

7. The Lost Boys (1987)
     Now, this movie hasn't really popped up on a lot of bad movie lists but when you really start thinking back to when it was in its heyday, you realize it was so terribly cheesy and yet, this is the movie that made me desperately want to be a vampire. Mainly because I wanted to be able to fly....which might be something I STILL wish I could do today. I mean, come on! It had the Coreys in it for crying out loud (and if you're confused because you're too young to remember, I'm referring to Corey Haim and Corey Feldman) I still can't listen to the song "People Are Strange" by the Doors without thinking of this movie.

6. Fright Night (1985)
     I'm sure this movie was terrifying when it first came out *snickers* but I just find it amusing. All I can think of is Chris Sarandon as Prince Humperdinck from The Princess Bride.

5. The Toxic Avenger (1984)
      Who doesn't love a man in a tutu that fell into toxic waste and becomes bad ass with a mop?
Toxie is my hero.

4. Judge Dredd (1995)
     Yep. I actually liked this movie haha....but because it's so cheesy and awful. Like I said, I love horribly bad movies.

3. Sleepaway Camp (1983)
     Yeah, this movie was horrifying. I did NOT see that ending coming. This was the first movie I ever saw with full frontal male nudity in it haha. This movie actually creeped me out when I first saw it but then again, I was pretty young and probably shouldn't have been watching it in the first place.

2. Doomsday (2008)
     From the first time I saw this movie, I laughed. It's become a sort of running joke with my husband. We loved it. Mainly because sometimes there's a movie that tries so hard to be serious and bad ass that when it turns out to be awful, you end up loving it. Although, it does have Rhona Mitra in it and I love her haha.

and the Number One Awesomely, craptastically, horribly bad movies that are actually good (in my opinion anyway) is......*drum roll*....*and maybe some trumpets*.......

1. Class of 1999 (1990)
     If you haven't seen this movie,well then I feel bad for you because you have not truly known comedy. I don't even know where to begin with this one. First, you've got robot teachers that hate kids and want to punish them in various ways. Then you have Pam Grier's boobs melting off and then she starts shooting (obviously, she's one of the robot teachers). Then there's lines like "Do ya trust him?" with the response "Like a vampire giving me a blow job." And THEN there is the song...."Come the day" Ooooomg. This movie has been a running joke with my best friend for yeeeears. I hope people really didn't think this movie was what the future was going to be like lol. You should see the clothes people are wearing in it. Let's just say this movie didn't make nearly as much money at the box office (it only made about $2,459,895 here in the States) as it spent on it's budget (which according to imdb.com was over 5 million dollars)....

I love how the top 2 in my list both have Malcolm McDowell in them, which means simply based on principle I have to like them....no matter how ridiculously bad they are.

Well anyway, I have tons of other movies I probably could have added to this list because there's just so many bad ones out there that make for amusing entertainment for those of us that like to laugh at these types of things. Of course, there are some movies that were so bad that it's actually unforgivable (*cough* Batman and Robin *cough*) so maybe I'll have to make a list for those one of these days.

Hope you enjoyed yourselves reading this. haha

Love, Tiff

Finally, a new post...about Zombies??

2010-11-22T20:31:00.001-05:00

Yeah, I know...It's been an awful long time since I've posted anything on this blog but I felt like I'd hop on and ramble about zombies for a few minutes. First of all, if you love comics AND you love zombies then you MUST MUST MUST read the comic series: The Walking Dead!! If you don't feel like reading it then you can watch the new television series on AMC based on said comic. However, the ongoing comic by Robert Kirkman is amazing. The characters/plots are awesome and the artwork is great (really, what more could you ask for in a comic book?). I think that it was a good move to make the artwork in simple black and white. It does not let the onslaught of horror, blood and guts detract from the actual characters and the story lines going on throughout each issue. I'm a huge fan of the whole zombie genre anyway, but this comic is one of the best things I've read in a very long time (and I read constantly). This is not just straight up zombie gore (although there is plenty of that to go around too) but there is a great deal of attention paid to how the people struggling to survive in this apocalyptic world react and change as they experience a world that no longer has rules. So, that's my reading recommendation for the month. Hell, you can even ask for the books for Christmas or your birthday! Nothing says "I love you" like a gift full of flesh eating zombies!

Thanks for stopping by!

Tiff :)