Over my years of visiting the Philippines (from 1990 until 1999) and my years of living in the Philippines (2000 until 2012 so far), I have noticed a lot of mistakes that foreigners make when it comes to the Philippines.  Today, I thought I’d take a look at a few of them, some of them might surprise you.  Maybe you can pick up on a mistake that you have been making, and change it.  You never know!

Of course, this list of “foreigner mistakes” is not all inclusive, just a few off the top of my head.  Maybe you know of other such mistakes, and can list them in the comments at the end of the article, so that we can all learn.

Pluralization

Mga Mangga

In English, if we want to make a word plural, we just add an “s” at the end.  So, a ball is a nice toy, but if you have more than one ball, you have balls (no jokes here, guys!, I promise, this is not a pun!).  On some words, if we want to make it plural, phonetically we add the “s,” but in writing we have to add a few more letters to make the spelling correct.  For example, I enjoy eating a mango from time to time, but since others in the house want a mango too, when I go to the market I buy mangoes.  Mangoes, not a mango.  See what I mean.

In the various Filipino languages, though, adding an “s” does not make a word plural.  So, if you see a kid, that’s a bata in Bisaya or Tagalog.  But, if you see a group of children along the street, they are not “batas.”  No, to make a word plural in the Philippine languages, you would add another word, “mga.”  So, when you see a group of children, you are seeing “mga bata.”

In Bisaya or Tagalog, a mango is “mangga.”  When you make that trip to the market, remember, though, you need more than one mango to feed the family, so be sure to purchase “mga mangga.”  What is “mga mangga?”  It is mangoes.

A ball is bola.  Balls are “mga bola.”

So, remember, to make a plural, you cannot just add an “s” at the end of the word, that does not work in the Philippines!

There are no caribou in the Philippines

This is a carabao

This is a caribou

Yes, you heard me right, there are no caribou in the Philippines.  As far as I know, there is not a one.  A caribou is the same as a reindeer.  We have water buffaloes in the Philippines.  A lot of foreigners call the water buffalo a caribou.  That’s not correct.  The local name for a water buffalo is a carabao.  CARABAO, not CARIBOU.

But, Bob, they are pronounced the same!

No, I’m sorry, they are not pronounced the same.  A Caribou is pronounced like “Care i BOO”.  A water buffalo, Carabao, is pronounced “Care a BOW” (as in taking a bow after you sing).  See, they are pronounced differently!  Remember, a Carabao is not the same animal as a Caribou like you would find in Alaska and other cold weather environments!

Learn to spell the places!

Generally, I am not the “spelling police,” if somebody leaves a comment and misspells something, it does not get my anger up, nor do I try to shame them for spelling something wrong, especially since the words are not standard English words.  That said, though, when it comes to the names of places, especially a place where you intend to move to, I really think you should learn to spell the word!  For example, I get lots of comments and e-mails from people who ask about Mindanao, the island where I live.  There seems no end to the way people spell it.  If you are planning to visit or live in Mindanao, though, I think it’s important to know how to spell it.  It’s not that hard to learn how to spell a few words, right?

Knowing the langauge

One thing I get a laugh out of is when people claim to know the language after only a short time of living here.  They may know a dozen words or so, but they are certainly not fluent.  One very common thing is when they learn the word “na” which (among other things) means “already” or “now” in the local language.  So, instead of saying “I already ate, I’m going to sleep now,” they say “I ate na, I’m going to bed na.”  Yep, they just use the word “na” along with everything else in English, but they say they know the language.  ha ha…   Don’t say that you know the language when you just say “na.”

Now, let me say this, nobody has to learn the language here.  You can indeed get by with just English, if that is what you want.  Your life will be fuller, though, and more enjoyable if you learn the language, and even if you just know some common phrases, that will help you fulfill your life too.

Pet Peeves

So, those are just a few of the “foreigner mistakes” off the top of my head.  I know there are many others, and I encourage you to share the ones you can think of.  My real pet peaves are #1 and #2, the pluralization and the whole carabao thing.  ;-)  I guess the carabao thing is something that I shudder at because I really love the carabao, it is such an interesting animal, and also a workhorse in the Philippine society!  ha ha…  Which “foreigner mistakes” bother you?

Well, today, I thought I would answer that exact question, for those who are wondering, and based on the comments in that last article, it would see that some people really are wondering, so here we go.

Truth is, I did not choose Davao when I came to live in the Philippines.  I chose (I should say “we chose,” because Feyma and I were equally involved in making the decision) to live in General Santos City, which is about 3 hours drive south of Davao.

Come on Bob, so why did you choose GenSan?

Fit Mart - where our Internet Cafe and my Office was

Well, primarily, we chose GenSan because that is where Feyma is from.  That is where her family lives, and part of our whole plan in moving was to be closer to the extended family.  As I explained in my earlier article, our oldest son has special needs, and we felt that living near the extended family here in the Philippines would provide the opportunity for assistance with our son.

For the most part, we enjoyed living in GenSan.  It’s a much smaller city than Davao, which has it’s pluses and minuses, overall we liked it, though.

But, back in 2000 until maybe 2006 or 2007, GenSan was a real target for terrorist bombings.  We never really felt unsafe there, though, but the bombings were certainly an inconvenience in our lives.  Before we moved to GenSan, there had never been a bombing there.  On the first day we arrived in the Philippines, there were 7 bombings in GenSan on a single day!  Wow, talk about a wake up call!

We really did not let the bombings bother us too much, though.  We took extra precautions with our kids, sheltering them a bit.  For Feyma and I we pretty much went along with life as normal.  Some time in early 2002, though, there was a big bombing just outside one of our businesses in GenSan, our Internet Cafe called FB Net.  As I recall, 14 people (maybe it was more, I have forgotten) were killed in that bombing.  People dripping in blood were rushing into our Internet Cafe asking for help.  It was a real wake-up call for us, because previous bombings had not happened so close to us, and not really had an impact on our lives.

When that bombing happened and hit so close to home (not really home, but just outside our business), we took note a little more than we had previously.  Our fear was for our kids.  Both Feyma and I decided to look into relocating to Cebu.  We both had a soft spot for Cebu – that is where Feyma and I first met each other in 1990.  We felt that Cebu would make a nice home for us, so we decided to make the move.

Come and let me show you around Davao

I had a very close friend, Jon, who is from Davao, and was living in Davao at the time (he is now residing in the States).  Jon and I had been close for a number of years, primarily over the Internet, but we had also met in person a number of times.  When I told Jon that Feyma and I would be moving to Cebu, he asked me:

Bob, why don’t you guys come up to Davao and let me show you around, I think you would enjoy living here.

Well, to be honest, I was not keen on moving to Davao, nor was Feyma.  I mean if the terrorists can strike in GenSan, they could certainly take the short ride up to Davao, right?  But, Jon insisted, and because he is a close friend, I said yes.  It would not hurt to go check out Davao.  I had been to Davao many times previously, but never with the thought of moving to Davao.  So, we took a trip to visit Jon, and he showed us around the city.  We spent time seeing the place, and also looking at houses that we could possibly rent.  We liked what we saw.  Jon explained to us that Davao was a real “peace and order” place, and that we would not be seeing those kinds of bombings and acts of violence in Davao.

Davao City - Our life is here

So, we jumped and moved to Davao.  Really, honestly, we have never regretted making the move.  It turned out that Davao was, and still is, an excellent place for us to live.

Are we in Davao for life?  Maybe, maybe not.  Right now we are leaning against that.  We are thinking that we may leave Davao when our kids finish school, but that is still a ways down the road.  Why would we leave, if we like it so much?  Well, Davao is changing.  It is becoming more congested.  It’s getting bigger.  Traffic is starting to look like Manila.  Right now, our thinking is that we will do one of three things, when the kids have graduated from high school:

1. Move to the outskirts of Davao, maybe Calinan or Toril, maybe even Eden or somewhere like that.
2. Move to Sarangani Province, down near GenSan.
3. Move to Bukidnon Province, maybe in the town of Buda.

To be honest, my preference would be Buda.  Feyma’s preference is Sarangani.  We can both agree on the outskirts of Davao, though.

There are a few reasons why we both might settle on moving to the outskirts of Davao:

1. Reliable electricity in Davao.. the rest of Mindanao is experiencing a lot of brownouts.
2. There are a lot of conveniences in Davao.
3. A lot to do in Davao.
4. Since we have different desires on where to live as our first choice, settling on something that makes us both happy is a good way to keep peace!

So, now you know why we chose Davao, and what might be in the future.

Jerard was adopted by our friend. They are missionaries. We knew them of course from Bebe. They adopted the twins knowing that one of them had problems. They adopted Jerard and his brother when they were almost 2 months old. Jerard was born with a big head, I don’t know what his sickness called. The parents told us, but I forgot the medical term. I think as soon as he could  handle the surgery they had him undergo for the surgery to get rid of the fluids out from his head. I think he had a few surgeries over his life time. When we first saw him his head was still a bit bigger than normal. But the last time we saw him a few months ago his head was already in normal size. I just know that Jerard was sickly and he was in and out of the hospital through the mom’s post on her wall on Facebook. When she stopped posting I thought he was getting better. But we found out when we saw them at the wake that after going in and out in the hospital his health was deteriorating. They already knew that anytime he will be taken.

Seeing a childs casket is so sad

I really respect the parents that adopted him. You know they went through so much with Jerard. But they fully accepted it and showered so much love and support for him. The couple had 3 kids of their own. The ages ranges closely with my kids. The kids really loved the twin kids too. The youngest of the 3 really had a hard time. Seeing him at the funeral parlor crying a lot really is a heart breaking. He always goes to the casket, not sure if talking to Jerard or just really watching him. Bebe was helping them on how the Filipino way of dealing with the death in the family. They want to integrate the Filipino and American cultures. As you know in the Philippines the dead has to have somebody watching 24 hours (I mean no sleeping during wake). So a lot of the Filipino/American friends was there to help out. They had food there at the wake too. People were playing games there but not betting money. Just playing  for fun to avoid boredom and sleepiness.

I think if Jerard was not adopted by the couple and just stayed with the parents, I think Jerard was already gone a long time ago. I am not saying bad about the couple but they can’t afford to handle the expenses of a sickly kid and also expenses with taking care of the other kids. I found out that the mom of Jerard was sickly too. I think she passed on a long time a few years ago. I think they tried but just can’t handle the expenses of all the kids they had.

Our friends already almost got done with the adoption process. Hopefully the other one will officially be theirs soon. The twin brother is really a funny and giggly kid. He likes to talk to Bob. The family was so happy to have Jerard and the twin brother in their lives. You can just see the happiness in their faces when seeing them. Hopefully they will recover soon with the loss of Jerard.

“To Beth, Kurt and the kids and Ruth (2nd mom to Jerard, she adores him too) our deepest condolences to you guys”.

One common theme that seems to unite (and sometimes divide) the readers of this site is the need and desire as expatriates to understand the cultural nuances of the Filipinos and how the obvious differences compare to what we see as ‘cultural norms’ in our country of origin.

This comparison is totally understandable and is inevitable whether you are moving between first world countries or from first world to third world or visa versa. Actually it isn’t politically correct to say ‘third world’ anymore, one must say ‘developing country’. Everyone has a love/hate relationship with where they are living, fair enough but it has to be in balance, if the hate overrides the love….time to move on.

Who is the anti-pinoy?

In my case I am Australian and spend a lot of time in developing countries so I rarely have culture shock and have become somewhat desensitized to the culture clash thing. Actually the only culture shock I get now is when we go back to first world countries and that shock is usually just “sticker shock”.

Putting aside the debate of the rights and wrongs of trying to change Pinoy attitudes to this or that or the often expressed desire of many readers here to make things just like home, I wondered actually how Filipinos actually see them selves in the world spotlight.

We have many Pinoy friends, most of whom are successful business people or government/NGO employees. Most are erudite and well travelled but if you raise this discussion over a casual SMB or at a dinner party the conversation is stilted and rarely are our guests willing to become overly introspective. So I turned to the Internet and sought answers there and wow was I amazed at a site I found. I won’t show you the link just yet as I don’t want you disappearing just yet, No, don’t scroll down yet….patience! : ).

The site is titled Anti Pinoy.

Philippine Flag

At first casual glance it seems the site is a virulent attack on all things Filipino and from that first glance you could assume the site is of western/expatriate origin but no, with a little digging the origins become clear. Unfortunately the site structure is such that you need to dig a bit to get to the site’s modus operandi. Actually it’s a VERY small link at the top of the page. So what is Anti Pinoy all about? Below is the first two paragraphs of the “about” page, you can read the rest later.

“Does your coach yell at you and tell you what you’re doing wrong in practice? Why does he do that? Is it because he hates you and wants nothing to do with you? You think so? Then why are you still on the team, and starting every game? Sometimes the harshest criticisms, those words that hurt the most, are what in the end lead you to achieve your best.

In a very real way, this is what we’re about. We’re not here to put Pinoys down for the heck of it, after all, we are Pinoys too…it is an altogether uncomfortable realization that the land we call home is a dysfunctional mess, but it is hard not to see the painful truth. We love our country, we want the Philippines and all Filipinos to improve, and for this country and society to live up to its potential. But before that can happen, we need to know what’s wrong about us so that we can fix ourselves and point ourselves in the right direction”

The site’s articles are sometimes incredibly inflammatory and often bordering on academia. The site is also heavily anti Noy Noy. The interesting thing for me out of the site is that there are obviously Filipinos who are willing to be introspective and “debate” the issues of the day. They even handle malicious trolls (both foreign and Pinoy) with a certain level of respect and try and avoid flame wars. As yet I have not read all the articles but the fact the site exists is evidence of reflection.

No, I am not going to offer my views of the site’s content or it’s credibility. I just thought you may like to have a look and make up your own mind!

Happy surfing!

Now you can peek : )

This is the ‘about’ page.

I will state the following: The conversation I had has satisfied the problem I had with the hotel. They understand that it was not necessarily the original problem that was the issue, but rather the lack of even admitting there was a problem or addressing a concern from a paying customer. To that end, revisions to their training of staff were made, and they investigated the original complaint regarding security by reviewing their camera footage to determine what happened. I was assured that changes to security have been made.

After the discussion, I offered to post an article with Hotel H2O’s response. The following letter is unedited by me, except to redact my boss’ name (Since I never mentioned that online).

It was not my intention to drag them through the mud or anything like that. It was a result of frustration and embarrassment, and I am satisfied with the hotel’s response. I think that it is only fair to give them the opportunity to respond.

Dear Mr. Miele ，

Warm greetings from the bay!

First and foremost, our apologies for not being able to get back to you on the comments and concerns you raised through your blog site as we need to get more information in what transpired. These information and comments are very vital for us to investigate and Improve our servlces. We have taken note of the items that you pointed out for us to address. We have identified the staff concerned and proper action have been taken to avoid similar incident in the future. We regret for the inconvenience that these incidents brought to you and to Mr. ********.

We would like to assure you that what happened is not standard of our service thus, for your future transaction and/or visit rest assured that it will be handled professionally and efficiently. We look forward to meet you in the future in the hope that you will give us opportunity to be service to you once again.